insight

When you don't love..you don't hurt.

2009-10-13T20:43:00.000-07:00

Separation can only mean one of two things. It can either make you stronger or it can make you think twice about who you really are. It leaves you for the first time able to think clearly and understand that you have been so distracted from your real thoughts. In those brief seconds of peace and quietness, your mind begins to search for things that has been pushed aside and locked up. In that moment of silent, you begin to search into the past. You begin to feel like you need to catch up on things that you have ignored because your mind has been consumed.

As the clock ticks and no one is there to fill the silent, something reminds you of the past. the old memories, the old friends, the old relationships...they all start to come back.

She doesn’t know why the tears are filling up. It was a matter of a stupid, one sentence, asking someone how they are doing. But, she can read through that line, and when she did, her heart started to shatter. The sentence depicts something more than just an acknowledgement. It has memories. It brings about an image of the past; a history that was once worth remembering.

She feels silly for thinking that! It must be silly for she has always been an over analyzer. But a single image can be interpreted in so many different ways. A painting can mean something different to each appreciator. So which one is right? Does the person analyzing it have the right to claim the righteousness in his/her own interpretation of image?

If she had not probe, she would not have been hurt now. How the silly mind wonders and engages in matters that it soon will regretfully damn as mistakes. Yet, the urge to figure out the mystery is so intense, so welcoming, that she just can’t seem to resist.

Logic is such a hypocrite. It defines the hypothetical solution without instructions on how to resolve it. What is logic good for when you can’t even conceal your own emotions? What good is logic when the pain is ripping through your heart? There is no logic in love. Logic is reserved for emotional sanity, and unfortunately, love is definitely insanity.

Now she can only hope!

What is it about a person do we truly love?

2009-02-24T19:09:00.000-08:00

What is it about a person do we truly love?

Is it the look?

Think back to the first time you saw your significant other. Did you say "WOW" in your mind? If so, how long did it last till you start seeing he/she like anyone else. Off course the one you love is different, but the looks eventually become something more or less an aspect of relativity rather than the soul reason why you love them. If it is then you are in trouble because eventually we all get old and unattractive.

Is it the personality?

Well if it is not the looks, hopefully, then it must be the personality that creates attraction. This notion seems rather intuitive, but is it? So think back to the last time you had a conversation with someone that you felt was truly compatible. How did it turn out? Lets assume that it turned out well and a relationship fostered, how long did it take before the conversation that used to last hours now only last minutes. How long did it take before it starts becoming casual rather than those soul-searching talks. Eventually, you start feeling like it is no different than any other ordinary conversation you may of had with other people. And soon you will start to realize personality does change.

The bottom line is, it only seem so perfect the first time because you made it that way. You created an environment where you had hope that this person will be the one. Maybe you were sad, and they said everything that you wanted to hear because you were feeling bad and it was you who declare it to be perfect by your own definition.

Either way, it seems like trial and error. You can't love someone for a single reason. Love, rather, is a compilation of all the different characters that makes up you and I. Since the variation is so huge, we are able to create very unique ones that only the parties involved can appreciate. A relationship will only work if there is compromise, trust, forgiveness, unselfishness, openness, willing to accept, willing to adapt, goal oriented and driven to pursue a lifetime of happiness together. Without the whole package, individual reasons like looks and personality alone will eventually die out. Besides, can we say that we like everything about our significant other? No body does, but love will drive us to make it work because if one component falters, the others will make up for it.

So what is it about a person do we truly love? The answer is nothing. We do not love them for merely being them. We love them because they have giving the things (compromise, trust, forgiveness, unselfishness, openness, willing to accept, willing to adapt, goal oriented and driven to pursue a lifetime of happiness together) we needed to make us complete. To make us happy. We love the interaction, memories, engagement. We invested and it is the product of the relationship, whether children or good time, that is what we truly love.

This is the reason why relationships go sour. When one party decides to stop giving, it is then that the relationship comes to an end. It is not because one person stops being beautiful or that their personality has changed so much that we can't stand them. It is simply that they have stop giving and the process manifest itself as a personality change.

Procrastination a problem?

2009-02-13T18:45:00.000-08:00

It is a big task to maintain a daily schedule without having to accommodate for unexpected changes that may arise throughout the day. In fact, life is so dynamic that it takes constant adaptation to stay ahead. Knowing how to manage this hard task is half the battle but it requires a daily practice along with a lifelong learning experience. One way to manage these unexpected changes is to avoid procrastination. According to FOX.News.com, 26 % of Americans believe they are chronic procrastinators as compare to about 5% back in 1978. This is a serious increase in the number of people experiencing this negative behavior.

This negative behavior is a lack of judgment in prioritizing daily activities and it sinks people deeper and deeper into this mess of procrastination. In the end, people feel like they are merely chasing their own tail in order to finish things that should have been done when expected. Consequently, it is a constant struggle to toggle between school, family, friends, along with other situations throughout the day. As expected, the problem eventually will affect personal relationship, school performance, work, and most importantly, self-satisfaction. People who are procrastinators do not feel the motivation that they had once felt. Their performance is typically reflective of how confident they feel about themselves. Without this confidence, there will be a lack of stimulation to pursue; to produce quality work; to deliver meaningful conversations, and to be engaged in activities that were once enjoyable. The consequences of being a procrastinator are not so obvious at first. For some people it is not even a problem unless the individual is willing to confront the issue and come to some sort of a healthy resolution.

So how does one engage in this process successfully? Changing from being a procrastinator to being the world’s most efficient person isn’t an overnight thing. Swanson and Holton’s literature on the depth of change (incremental or transformational) states that “incremental change deals with smaller, more adaptive changes while transformational change requires major shifts in direction or perspective.” The problem with changing procrastination is more complex because it has many components. There is the physical nature of change, the mental aspects of change, and also the perspective of the change to an individual. Therefore, when changing procrastination, one must understand and foresee it as being both an incremental change and transformational change in the work over the long run. It is an incremental change in the since that behavioral changes requires time and must be changed little by little. Changing procrastination is a matter of will power and it has momentum influences from the mindset, therefore, in the long run transformation changes will come into play.

So, the first step is to realize how important the change is. To do this, one must see the true problem of procrastination and how it has affected their life. Sometimes it also helps to see it from another perspective other than your own. When analyzing the problem, it is crucial to theorize the alternate; the consequences of procrastination and how it affected your life as well as the possibility of what might have been different if it had not been put off.

By this time it should be clear to you that procrastination is a mental validation of one’s behavior. The understanding is that the current behaviors are interfering with daily life. Therefore, preparing to turn your behavior 180 degrees will require some letting go. This idea of letting go is complicated and will face strong opposition at first; therefore this part of the change process requires strong mental willingness to do so. At least the first part is already taken care of; the acceptance of the issue. Because the bottom line is why fix something if nothing is broken in the first place.

Once the metal preparation is complete, the rest is all about willingness and metal endurance. The mind is quick to quit and slow to adapt. If the task of avoiding procrastination become a burden rather than a positive change, then reflection is necessary. Take some time out to reflect on the issue and see the positive outcomes that will come along with the change. The reflection should serve as a reassurance for this change. It is a reference that can be revisited at anytime the task seems overwhelming. It is a reminder of the reasons and purpose for this turn around.

"In Me She Finds The Strength To Go On"

2009-01-26T21:33:00.000-08:00

She bears the burden of the man she loves
She took his place when he was at war
But he seems to have forgotten his true love
Along with his hopes and dreams after the war

He speaks to her but his voice is different
His mind is empty w/ no memories of the past
She sees him wandering the house aimlessly
Searching for something he longs to have last

But he can't remember how it used to feel
To hold and to touch his only one true love
The night is worse when the light goes out
He only see things he has seen enough

His children asks him "are you my hero dad?"
The hero mom has been waiting for?
He wants to answer "yes I am your hero dad"
Yet, the answer is always something more

More stories of war and the friends he has lost
And wounds that will never again be mend
He wants to share his pain and sadness
But all they want is for him to be a friend..

and a father.

Magic Moments Are Short!

2009-01-25T16:36:00.000-08:00

Is that whispers of the new born buds
singing shyly in the dawn of light?
Through the garden, their voices echo
celebrating the end of a long cold night!

Their petals are off, their filaments now dance
and sway they move to the morning breeze
and filled the garden with their fragrance
to welcome the touch of the golden bees

So many blossoms in pink, red and white
like lavender silks caressing the sky
And brightly reflected each new bud shines
on the edge of a new born delight

Along the horizon the sparks are now fierce
The sun is now up the day is now here
the blazing ray like arrowheads
ready to strike but then disappear

Saved by the clouds the buds renounce
The golden bees have finally arrive
And in a sacred second the two unites
to deliver the breathe of a new life!

Finding that Perfect Balance

2009-01-21T10:52:00.000-08:00

The twist and turn of this narrow path now appears more timid then it once used to look. Is the path of righteousness that hard to follow along? To keep the head clear; the eyes straight; the mind focus, and the heart at peace, maybe it is truly not an easy task. More than often, there are nights when dreams and nightmares cause us to shiver in the middle of the dark. In those moments, our mind summons images of the past that we have tried to suppress. Whether it is a dream or a nightmare, those moments still questions our very own identity.

The question we truly should ask ourselves is whether we really know who we are or what we want out of this life? It is a hard question to answer and for most of us, we have reverted to the "generic life plan" adopted by individuals who believes that money is the vessel to happiness.

As important as it seems, money is merely a concept. A twisted concept that has people selling their individuality, ideas, creativity, and their time for a penny? a dollar? a few dollar? Well, then some may argue how else can be we live if we don't have money? I would answer, live with balance. Do not live for the sole purpose of money but for TIME.

Time is precious and limited. Our mind tells us there is always tomorrow, but how many more tomorrow are we truly entitled to? That we do not know. A car accident, a plan crash, a sickness, anything single event can make it our last day.

For the men: Don't let work consumes you. Your wife is waiting at home with dinner.

For the women: Don't make you husband have to look for love somewhere else.

For the fathers: Your kid needs you to tuck them into their cozy bed.

For the mothers: Your baby needs you more then they need the extra cash. The babysitter can never be a better mom than you can.

Try finding happiness in the combination of education, career, and family. For some of us, this "combination" has driven us to pursue our goals, hopes, and dreams, which all sums up to one word, happiness.

There is no such thing as perfection, but there is balance. Try not to let a single entity consumes you and abandon the rest.

He who regrets

2009-01-10T14:19:00.000-08:00

The night has arrived, he waits till it knocks.
He waits with pain in his thickened heart.
Till it comes, his eagerness won't subside.
And when it does come, she will be by his side.

He lays in darkness, soaked in his own grief.
Reminiscing of his long lost love.
His heart weakened, his pain won't dissipate.
Where is She, He anticipates.

Can She find him, He jumped at the thought?
Then tears came storming down his cheek.
He can no longer wait; the pain is too deep.
The night is gone; he now must sleep.

He closed his eyes and rested his head.
A light sensation of longing ahead.
And in his sleep, she came to his side.
At last, she came to his side......

Why the sad face, he looked deep into her eyes.
And found the answer he can no longer deny.
A moment of truth, now a lifetime of regrets.
She was once alive till he became drunken upset.

liliangelina19

Don't look back, just go forward!

2008-12-17T19:20:00.000-08:00

When life seems tough and shadow begins to cast over our hope and dreams, we should not forget that after every storm is another beautiful sunny day.

We should not dread when there is a problem. It may seem hard to overcome at first but the truth is there's a solution for everything. We must stay positive, analyze the situation, approach it in a systematic way, and believe that any action is better than no action at all.

It helps to visualize our life as a roller coaster ride. A constant, yet fast speed turbulance of both fear and excitement. A bundle of fear and excitement bound together in an inseparable fashion. The fear of what might happen if we fall and yet we are heightened by the excitement of the speed, the wind, and the uncontrollable acceleration. Ironically, we love this feeling.

Just like our lives. It is filled with surprises. Without pain we can not appreciate happiness. Similarily, without happiness we can not feel alive. We love our family, our friends, not because they are more special than anyone else, we love them because they assure us that we are still alive, we belong, we have responsibilities; we have to stay alive to take care of them. They are our hands and feet, our heart and soul, our purpose in life.

So when life seems tough and shadow begins to cast over our hope and dreams, we should not forget that behind every shadow is another familiar face, our friends, our love ones, and our beautiful family.

There is no reason to fear...don't look back, just go forward!

Today...Tomorrow...which is more important?

2008-12-15T14:13:00.000-08:00

Do not wonder where tomorrow will lead you if today you can not find your way.

We all have the tendency to think about the fruitful accomplishments of tomorrow without realizing that today is where everything begins. The past is the foundation of knowledge gained; the present is the core of success, and tomorrow is nothing but a wishful thinking. It is always a must to have plans for the future but lets not forget that if we do not work hard today then that bright, wonderful, future dream of ours will never come true.

A wise person once told me life goes through stages. The cycle is inevitable, but if it happens out of order, then life itself has taken the path of complexity. The moment of birth marks our first adventure on this planet. It is the moment of greatest pleasure for we can have anything and everthing without even a word; we just cry! The sad part is that we didn't even know the difference until it is too late. By the time we know that we even existed, our lovely eight o'clock alarm reminds us everyday that our sole purpose on this planet is to sit in a desk eight hours a day listening to some stranger talk about math and history. It should be even more comforting knowing that the eight o'clock alarm doesn't ever go off. It stays on for the next 60 something years till we can finally retire.

But as soon as we have finished highschool, assuming that we will graduate from highschool, the real test of life begins. It is now the cycle of application. It is taking what we have learned in the past 12 years and applying to our own liking. It sounds easy but making some of those decisions are more challening then we might believe. For instances, making decisions whether to continue with our education, go to work, or get marry and start a family. All of the above requires some sort of prior arrangement or preparation.

Either way, we all work at some point in our life, but the difference is the choice of work we decide to pursue. Lets hope that we are all wise enough to at least obtain some kind of a degree so that we can actually choose something we like to do (even though this will never be true).

It seems pretty manageable if things happen in this order, however, if for instance marriage happens before completion of schooling or if having kids before being financially stable, well things can be a little complex.

This is not to say that complexity isn't interesting in itself. I guess it is a matter of personal choice. For some of us, logistics and algorithms are always nicer.

Illusion

2008-12-15T11:40:00.000-08:00

It took me 26 years to realize that life is no more than an illusion. An illusion that we shape in the comfort of our own mind. Even then, the dynamic nature of our personality elucidates its inconsistency through joy and happiness, saddness and pain, anger and frustration, and yet we have the capability to control it to fit our own expectation.

Everyday of our life we are challenged with the illusion that we have created for ourselves. The formulated vision that we set forth depicts our past, present, and our future behavior. For if it wasn't our mindset that triggers certain action then we wouldn't have to display certain reactions. This action-reaction creates a dynamic environment whereby each day is different, each conversation is new, each dream is unique, and each nightmare frightens us differently. Yet somehow, they all merge like the rain drops sending its ripples across the open pond. In the end, all the ripples merge and once again the peacefulness of the water surface returns.

Unfortunately, we can not accept the fact that we are who we created. We do not like to think that bad thing happens because we make mistakes. Just like Galelio's prostulate, " if you dropped two balls of similar material but different weights off the Leaning Tower of Pisa, they would hit the ground at the same time". An insanely bold assumption at one point in time now is the basis of our physics. The truth is, the less likely something seems may mean the more it might likely be so.

If we are to beleive that we can shape our own illusion, then we should make an effort to sculp happiness instead of sadness, joy instead of grief, and pleasure instead of pain.

We get to decide how a conversation with our significant others turn out.

We can make it a memorable one or we can turn it into a big fight.

We can enjoy each other's company through compromise or...

We can indulge ourselve in our own pride and dignity and sacrifice time that we could have had with them.

Life is too short for moments that do not count.

Our actions are predetermined and our reactions are created by design.

Let it be a good design.

Let it start today.