The Fantasy/Reality World of a Writer

Thirty Ninth Friday Flash: The Travel Agent

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 09:57:00 +0000

Image Source

He was itching to go somewhere, anywhere away from his humdrum life, somewhere with colour and life. Most of all he wanted to get away from his boss and family, who never seemed to give him a break. They always had some demand or other, that was when he spotted an “Anytime, Any Place” travel agent sign. The sign looked old and peeling, but it was still more appealing than the razzle-dazzle travel agent next door. He went up the stairs to the small offices. An old woman in a tie dye t-shirt and flowery dress greeted him from behind her desk. The walls were plastered with travel memorabilia from around the world.

She smiled and rubbed her hands together. “Tea?”

“Oh, yes please!”

The lady prepared the tea.

“That's a Sylvanian tea strainer isn't it?”

“Yes, very good eye, I collect them.”

“I collect a few myself.”

“Excellent, milk?”

“Just a spot.”

She expertly tipped the pint of milk to deliver the desired amount.

With tea in hand she got down to business. “So I understand you need a break?”

“I would love one.”

“Anything in mind?”

“Somewhere where I can do my my own thing,” Joe replied sipping his tea.

“Somewhere where you can feel like somebody?”

“Yes!”

“Then I have the perfect place for you.”

“Tell me more.”

“I will do better, I will show you.”

He put down his half finished tea and followed her to a door behind her desk, a very plain door that had a pentagram carved into it.

"What's that symbol for?"

"Oh the previous tenants, they were a bit kooky."

"It must have been a long time ago."

“A very long time ago, but we don't have time to dilly-dally, now close your eyes.”

“That's silly.”

“It won't work If you don't.”

He shrugged and closed his eyes. She took his hand and they took a step forward through the door, there was a lot of rushing wind sounds.

“Do not open your eyes!”

He scrunched his eyes up tighter. A few moments later he could smell and hear horses.

“Go on, open them.”

He was in a carriage, a grand and ornate carriage. “Where are we?”

“Godollo, Hungary, you're on your way to your palace.”

“My palace?”

“Yes, indeed. There are some drawbacks though.”

His stomach dropped. “Yes? It's all a dream isn't it? You drugged my tea?”

“No, no, very much real,” she replied with a laugh. A very deep laugh that made Joe drawback a little.

“You're now the eighteen year old Empress Elizabeth, and will suffer a tragic death.”

He looked down, his arms were milky and delicate and he was wearing a golden dress. “When?”

“Many years from now.”

Elizabeth smiled. “It doesn't seem bad to me.”

“It doesn't, but once you're done you will be my servant forever.”

“Not burn in hell?”

“Nah, that's just a myth, but believe me it's no vacation.”

She shrugged, “I can live with that, but say what happened to the previous Elizabeth? Not hurt or anything I hope?”

“Oh, not at all, she will be back any second now to take back control of her body.”

“No! You can't!”

Joe felt helpless and horrified as he lost control, he could feel every sense, but not control any of them.”

The old woman smiled wickedly. “Enjoy the ride!”

House of Fear, M is for Monster and PULP! (Summer/Fall 2011) Progress Review Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:16:00 +0000

Here's a continuation of the reviews I'm doing of the books I won earlier this year via the #coffinhop and Kamvision review blog. I'm reviewing 3-4 stories of each book per blog post.

I've included website details of the writers where I could find them. I will also be posting the reviews on Goodreads (If you're one of the writers involved and I didn't link you, please let me know and I will).

Part One and Part Two

House of Fear:

Hortus Conclusus by Chaz Brenchley

It's about a group of friends who go help the mother of a deceased friend clean up a disused garden, and it doesn't take long before strange things start to happen. Things that prove that maybe their friend's spirit hasn't yet departed. While I enjoyed the story, I think it could have been a bit more scarier, but I don't think it was the aim of the story, because it left me feeling uneasy, like you should be doubly sure you treat people with respect while they're alive otherwise it might come back to haunt you.

The Dark Space in the House in the House in the Garden at the Centre of the World by Robert Shearman

Being a Dr Who writer (mentioned in the foreword before the story) I knew this story was going to be a little different and I wasn't disappointed. Cindy and Steve are forbidden from going to the centre of the forest, but predictably they don't listen. Being passive aggressive God is disappointed, but he does little to punish them, only
warning them not to go into the attic. And so the story goes on with its many twists and turns. It's the sort of story Alice would be proud of. The overall tone was compelling and it felt like a breeze to read.

The Muse of Copenhagen by Nina Allan

Nina has a done a great job of writing from the male perspective, normally you can tell quite easily that a writer is a bit out of their depth. Johnny gets a strange call from his uncle stating that he doesn't have long to live and when he inherits his childhood home he should get rid of it as soon as possible. Johnny goes over, but he soon gets caught up on childhood memories and doesn't want to get rid of any of it. Then his trip into the village changes everything and quickly decides to sell, but it's too late, he is not alone.

An Injustice by Christopher Fowler

A group of friends decide to go ghost hunting. Max, Ali and Shape. Max is the serious one and is in love with Ali and she doesn't know it, because she's too busy trying to get into Shape's pants and Shape doesn't care because he's only in it for the moment and will do anything to piss off his upright parents. Finding a possible ghost in the wrong side of town they stalk and soon discover that it's not all as it seems. A great story that ties in modern events quite nicely.

The Room Upstairs - Sarah Pinborough

The story had a laid back feel to it. A man casing out the town waiting for his accomplice to arrive, but soon gets distracted when something upstairs in the B and B he's staying in makes an awful racquet every night. He confront the other guest and landlady, but they know nothing. It soon reaches a stage where he can't take it any more and goes and finds out for himself. He finds something that makes him realize he should maybe change his ways.

M is for Monster

J by J.C. Andrijeski

As stated in an Amazon review the start of this story is a bit of a jumble, but the rest of it makes up for it. A squad of marines find an odd man in a cave, a man who doesn't give a straight answer, things soon descend into chaos and a monster shows up.

K by Bec Zugor

One of my favourites of the anthology. It had quirkiness to it that was quite compelling. People are dying from drinking too much water during a heatwave, the MC tries to deny that he knows what is going on, but he soon has to face reality that something from his past has caught up with him. Would make a great low budget film.

L by AJ French

Rozz encounters a bagboy who wants a kilo of drugs, and things soon get even more bizzare when the bagboy turns out to be quite wealthy and lives in a Adams Family style mansion. Being a Frasier fan I kept on imagining the MC was Frasier's producer Rozz, which made things even more weird, but in a good way. With his steadyish girlfriend Marie by his side he soon discovers the bagboy is into even more dangerous things than drugs.

M by Jeffrey Sorensen

A group of friends go out to stay in a cabin in the woods. A recipe for disaster in almost every story. The story jumps right into the action and pretty much stays there the whole way through without feeling tired. There's a monster outside that only one of them has seen it, A monster that has already killed one of their friends. With a fast pace things soon reach boiling point.

PULP! Summer/Fall 2011

It seems this book will be finished a lot sooner than the other two, so will wrap things up for this volume in Part 4.

James and the Gentry by Kevin Lauderdale

Quite enjoyed this story. Had a light-hearted feel to it, Reggie, a gentleman and his valet James are thrown into a spot of bother when James rescues a faerie from a bull, a princess no less and as per custom she is no indebted to him and they must get married, and as breathtaking as she is he just doesn't feel it and doesn't want to live in the faerie world, and not only that a past flame of his is betrothed to his best friend Flippy, with limited time they have to figure out how to escape the marriages. I enjoyed the James character the most and hope to stumble across more of his stories in the future.

Radon's Daughter by Julie Jansen

This story had an ethereal/noir feel to it. Detective Weatherford is investigating a case involving a cashed cheque, but everyone in the bar says she should leave saying she's in for more than she bargained for. It's not long before she discovers the cause of her problems, a possessed pinball machine that compels people to play it until they disappear. A mystery she will need all the the help she can get to solve.

The Ball C Griffiths Knowles

I liked the characters in the story and the writing itself, but the plot of the story was a little dull to be honest, it felt like an interlude between grander/more action type scenes in a novel. A sky captain sends his wife into flirt with a prince and get information about a possible invasion, but he soon regrets it when he sees how friendly things get. He falls apart, but luckily his friends and his wife keep things on track until there's unexpected development. I think Mr Knowles should develop this into a novel, I think it would work quite nicely. Especially with how popular steampunk is at the moment.

A Reversal of his Fortunes by J Boyer (I couldn't find any site linked to J Boyer)

The MC is a hitman and he has a dinner appointment with his client. What follows is a polite stand off between the two characters, while compelling it could have been more intense. Without giving more of the story away that's about all I can say.

Thirty Eighth Friday Flash: The Classroom

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 10:02:00 +0000

Melvin gripped the steering wheel hard, he felt like a fool. Maybe it was all in his head? Maybe she didn't like him at all?

He looked out the window, it was threatening to rain. He grabbed the gifts from the passenger seat and dashed from the car, holding them tightly to his chest. If he remembered correctly she normally stayed after school to clean up. Trembling at the door he knocked.

“Come in!”

There were a few kids at their desks. She looked up.

She sighed. “Oh Melvin! Again?”

“I brought this for you.” He placed a gift box and an envelope in front of her.

One of the kids sniggered.

“Thanks lovely, but it was 30 years ago, we were young, things have changed.”

“But we can recapture it, I know we can.”

She got up and gently placed the items into his hands. “So, how did you escape this time?”

“I locked the nurse in the bathroom,” he said scuffing his slippers on the floor.

“Class dismissed!”

“Yay!” shouted the kids, they snatched up their things and I ran out.

She took his hand, “Come, I'll take you home.”

Review of Larry Kollar's Xenocide

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 19:35:00 +0000

Hi,

Being an avid fan of Larry's Friday Flash fiction I knew I had to get Xenocide when it came out and I wasn't disappointed. So here's my review and if you have .99c laying around please do yourself a favour and grab a copy. 10c per 1000 words is a bargain if you ask me.

"Larry has the rare ability to make his characters and situations feel lifelike, for instance even though the murder victim is an alien the characters aren't running around screaming thinking they had lost their minds, they approached the situation rationally and logically. Granted some people wouldn't be able to handle it, but being a cop and an EMT they've seen their fair share of odd things.

Overall I thought the story was nicely paced, the characters were interesting and the X-Files references made me smile."

Grab it from Amazon here

Thirty Seventh Friday Flash: The Bathroom

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 09:14:00 +0000

Lucy waddled into the bathroom with a mug of coffee in her hand, her pink fluffy slippers slapping on the floor. She placed it down next to her husband's DIY handbook.

“Much luck?”

“Still leaking, pass me the spanner.”

“Yes, dear.” She leaned down, her dressing gown getting a little wet.

“Don't dear me, if you didn't spend all our money on those stupid shoes we could have had that new bathroom fitted like we had planned.”

“They were on sale, besides I earn more than you and you know it.”

Her husband grunted something and mumbled under his breath.

“What did you say?” Her hands shaking, she was so sick of all the fighting.

“I said you're just as useless as your mother.”

Lucy kicked the steaming mug of coffee over.

“Ah!” There was a dull thud. Her husband's legs twitched, then there was utter silence.

Blood mixed with the spilled coffee, with trembling hands she checked for a pulse. There was none. She plopped down on the wet floor, quietly sobbing.

Would they believe it was an accident? Would they let her wear her new shoes in prison?

Zoolin Vale Free for the Kindle (today only)

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 05:57:00 +0000

Get Zoolin Vale for free from Amazon US and Amazon UK.

Thirty-Sixth Friday Flash - The Station

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 21:56:00 +0000

Advil was sure everyone thought she was strange searching every inch of the floor with a magnifying glass. She doubled checked her watch, yes it was the right time and date. The eye strain was giving her a headache, popping a few pills, she downed them with some water. Holding the water bottle to her forehead to cool herself down she spotted something. Passing the water bottle to her assistant Tom she grabbed the magnifying glass and had a closer look.

It was a little red spot. Maybe the prophecies were true? Maybe her research wasn't for nothing?

”This is it Tom!” She swapped the magnifying glass for a pick axe. Tom backed away. Widening her stance she took a swing at the red spot, smashing a few tiles with the first blow.

Everyone turned around and stared.

Advil swung again, some of the tile came away and the red spot grew bigger.

A security guard approached.

“Keep him back Tom!”

Tom pulled out a badge. “Halt! This is a vital FBI mission, stay back.”

“Pull the other one pal, I saw you rock up in a rust bucket, you're just a bunch of crazy kooks,” replied the security guard hotly.

“So says the rent-a-cop.”

“Why you!”

But the confrontation was cut off by gasps. The red and smelly stuff was gushing from the hole. People screamed and ran away. Advil was covered head to toe with the stuff.

“What is it?” asked a finely dressed old man.

Advil laughed. “The red one, he is coming!”

“You're wrong, I'm already here.”

The old man snapped his fingers. The gooey red stuff burst into flames.

There was a loud bang. “No dreaming in class!”

Advil sat up to attention and wiped the drool from her mouth. She had to stop watching those late night horror movies.

** My fantasy novel Zoolin Vale is currently free for Kindle (weekend only) US http://amzn.to/goblinff UK http://amzn.to/goblinff

Thirty Fifth Friday Flash: Santos, The Mermaid, and the Marine Biologist

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 11:26:00 +0000

*** this is a follow up from Gorilla Pequeno,Santos Returns,Mermaid Tale and Santos Vs. The Mermaid

Benson Marine Research Institute

“I don't believe you,” said Margie.

Santos had arranged to arrive with the crate. “Trust me, you want to see this.”

“This better be good, I like to sleep in on a Sunday.”

The delivery truck unloaded the large crate into the Institute's delivery bay and left. They seemed to sense that they weren't carrying around normal cargo.

“I remember from when you worked at the carnival that summer.”

“I can't believe you remember me.”

“You and Maria were inseparable, that's hard to forget.”

“How is she?”

“I would rather not talk about it.”

“Ah, she did have a roaming eye that one. Now open this up please.”

Santos ignored the comment and cracked open the crate, the side panel falling down to reveal a tank and the mermaid inside.

“Holy mackerel!” Margie backed away. “You weren't kidding.”

“We have to help her, she has had a tough time.”

“She looks sick, the water must be warm, I have a tank we can use, wheel her this way.”

Using a hand pump truck Santos followed with the mermaid close behind. The mermaid woke up and thrashed around in the small portable tank.

“Is she dangerous?”

“Yes, I would say so.”

Santos parked the tank next to round and larger tank that was almost crystal clear. As soon as he stopped the mermaid gripped the side of the portable tank and launched herself into the larger tank. Landing with a big splash.

“She's magnificent!” said Margie standing with her face almost pressed against the glass.

“I agree.”

Santos looked at the creature in the eyes, but it did not change, maybe it was too tired, or it didn't see him as a threat anymore.”

“The marine field will be blown apart! This is such a discovery!”

“What will you do with her?”

“Oh my word!” Margie fell back, trying to get away.

“What happened?”

“She changed... changed to look just like my husband!”

“That's her defense mechanism.”

“I wonder if I'm still wrapped up in bed and dreaming all this, this is just too strange.”

“Maybe you should believe that ma'am,” said a new voice.

Santos and Margie turned around swiftly. It was a man in black with dark sunglasses.

“Who are you?”

“Special Division. We will take over from here.”

“The hell you will!” said Margie with hands on her hips.

“You have no choice, step aside.”

The man took one step forward.

“Freeze creep!” said another new voice.

“Jonas! Thank you.”

The man in black took a step back, “This is the not the last you will see of me.”

Margie and Jonas hugged once The Man had left.

“Jonas?” asked Santos.

“Yes, he's my husband, I asked him to come, meeting someone I knew 15 years ago was just too odd for my liking.”

“I don't blame you. He's a Marshall?” There was something not right about the man's qet up. A little too flash for his profession.

The muscular man smiled, “Not exactly, I can do many roles, I'm strippergram, but it's only until I get some proper work.”

“Ah, I get ya.”

Margie was smiling ear to ear, “And he will, he's a really talented guy.”

“He sure saved us a spot of bother! What are you going to do with her?” asked Santos.

“Observe, and study, there must be more of her kind out there somewhere.”

“Keep me posted of any developments.”

“I will, and thanks for thinking of me, this will put the Benson Marine Research Institute on the map.

House of Fear, M is for Monster and PULP! (Summer/Fall 2011) Progress Review Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 08:29:00 +0000

You can find part 1 here

Here's a continuation of the reviews I'm doing of the books I won earlier this year via the #coffinhop and Kamvision review blog. I'm reviewing 3-4 stories of each book per blog post.

I've included website details of the writers where I could find them. I will also be posting the reviews on Goodreads (If you're one of the writers involved and I didn't link you, please let me know and I will).

House of Fear

Driving the Milkway by Weston Ochse

This was more a haunted RV than a haunted house, but a great tale none the less. Weston really plays on the nostalgia factor of what it was like to grow up, how wild our imaginations were (and sometimes still are). It shows us what lengths people will go to keep a friendship alive, a story I won't forget anytime soon.

The Windmill by Rebecca Levene

This is an honest look inside the head of a prisoner, how they feel they did nothing wrong and it's society that is persecuting them. An error he soon pays for, maybe a little too harshly, but that's for you to decide.

Moretta by Garry Kilworth

When and if I reach retirement I hope I have some excitement in my life like the main character does in this story, but maybe not as life threatening. Although the story wasn't particularly frightening it still had a nice charm to it.

M is for Monster

D by John Prescott

This story was quite chilling. Like what a proper movie should be like. Well some of it was predictable, it made up for it with its creepiness.

E by Paul Freeman <- I'm not sure if I've linked to the right Paul Freeman

This story was a surprise, you don't get many horror stories (that I have seen) set in South Africa. It shines a light on the seedier side of trade with China. Namely ivory, but unlucky for the poachers and smugglers involved it was cursed. As you can imagine the those involved meet an appropriate sticky ending. It's unfortunate that it isn't true true story, the poachers and the people who trade in it deserve as much punishmet as we can dish out.

G by Geoff Nelder

A fresh take on the David and Goliath myth. One that turns the tables on those involved. An interesting concept well executed. And it reminds you there's always at least two sides to every story.

H by Zach Black

This story will make you think twice before talking a walk at night, especially through an old church, not that many people would do that in the first pace. The story could have been a bit tighter, but overall a great tale. And I can relate to the main character, all he wanted to do was go home and get on with his life.

I by Jonathan Green

This story was unexpectedly hot and steamy and have to say Jonathan did a great job of writing from the female POV, although the ladies out there might disagree. A story that explores forbidden desires that most would steer clear of.

PULP! (Summer/Fall 2011)

Darwin's Demons by S C Hayden

Being a fan of the Fortean Times magazine I quite enjoyed this one. A fictional take on a typical article. Sort of like the day in the life of a Cryptozoologist. A must read for mermaid fans.

A Reason for Living by David M DeMar

I loved the banter between the two characters in this, a clash of two different generations and I can definitely relate, it's quite shocking what people call 'music' these days Haha I just made myself sound so old. Even though the probable outcome of the story is revealed early on it was still very enjoyable.

Good Fences Make Good by Chris O'Grady

I enjoyed the story, and even though it had a pulpy feel in some areas it felt out of place in the anthology. The action scenes were great and it shows you no matter how tough you think you are there's always someone out there who could most probably kick your ass without breaking a sweat.

Wonderboy by Charles Martin and Will Weinke

Anne Fredrick is the secret bastard daughter of a superhero, so you can imagine she has some issues. I think Charles and Will did a great job of imagining what it must be like to grow up with a father the whole world loves. A hero with a secret. A secret that takes up the latter half of the story. I appreciate the story is part of a series and I got what the secret it was, I think it could have been executed a bit better, it lacked that punch I was expecting. Not exactly a bad thing, it's all the more reason to find the rest of the series and find out more.

Thirty-Fourth Friday Flash Santos Vs The Mermaid

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 14:36:00 +0000

*** this is a follow up to Gorilla Pequeno/Santos Returns and a mash up with Mermaid Tale

Santos and his agent Winston T. Ford had milked his 15 minutes of fame for all it was worth, it was good while it lasted, but it was over now. His talk show had taken a nose dive, and his reality TV show was canceled after the second season.

He still had a few paid TV appearances from time to time and he got some royalties from the banana dance commercial and his other TV work, but it wasn't enough to pay for his lavish lifestyle and support his daughter.

That night he was playing at a place called Rusty Steve's, it was going to be a mishmash of his banana dance and some standup comedy he had been working on. Santos didn't mind that it was the smallest venue on his brand new tour, it would give him some time to iron out the kinks in his act.

Sitting in the front were his diehard fans that had been following him around in a mini-bus. They had endless questions and some were a bit odd, not that he minded, he loved the support.

Over the years he had become good friend with Winston, and even though he had bigger clients he still took time to come and see some of his shows.

Just before the show was about to start a lot more people crowded into the bar. Many looked like hardened sailors, it made Santos feel uneasy.

The show started and it seemed to be going well at first, but Santos soon realized it was just his fans cheering and clapping, the locals were just glaring at him. After a particularly bad joke even his own fans had a hard time laughing to, the crowd began to chant “Mermaid!” over and over again. Santos and his fans looked around in bewilderment. Rusty Steve himself walked through the crowd calling for quiet.

“What's going on?” asked Santos.

“It's time for the real show to begin.”

“Mermaid?”

“Yes, you're going to be fighting one.”

Winston ran up from the side of the small stage. “Are you insane?”

“No, but the bar is locked, and if the crowd doesn't get what they want, things might get ugly.”

“We'll call the cops!” shouted one of the fans.

Rusty Steve turned to a finely dressed man in the audience. “Good evening police commissioner?”

The man nodded.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“Not at all, last a minute with the mermaid and I will double your fee.”

“Double?”

“Yes.”

Santos shrugged. “Okay, we have a deal!”

“As your agent I strongly advise against it.”

“My daughter's tuition fees are due soon, plus how bad could it be? I grew up in a carnival, I've seen everything.”

“Okay Santos, just be careful.”

Rusty Steve laughed. “Okay, let's get this thing started!”

The crowd cheered and clapped, even some of the fans got caught up in the excitement. The large black curtain behind them dropped to reveal a giant tank. There was a barely discernible human shaped creature lurking in the murky water.

“Just one minute?” Santos gulped.

“Now hop on in there!:

“Don't look at it in the eyes!” shouted one of his fans.

The locals didn't seem to like this and stared her down, the fan stiffly got back into her seat.

“You better survive this, you have a lot more show to attend!”

“I will,” said Santos stripping to his boxers and climbing up the metal ladder.

The creature in tank grew restless and thrashed around, water splashed over the side. Before he could change his mind and talk himself out of it he jumped into the freezing cold water. An overhead spotlight switched on.

The creature was revealed, it really wasn't like anything he had seen before, it had a large pearly-pink tale, and scales that steadily got lighter and smaller as they reached the top of her body, but that's where the beauty stopped, her face was haggard and weather beaten, the skin of her upper body wrinkled, her eyes red, and her teeth sharp and yellow. He scrambled to get out, his short legs spinning wildly, he did his best to look everywhere but in its eyes.

It came at him swiping with its clawed hands, scratching him badly, then it caught his line of sight, and transformed before his very eyes. Transformed into the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. His wife, his cheating ex wife Maria.

A woman he detested more than anything else in the world. Boiling with rage, Santos punched and kicked away, it felt like he connected with the creature's nose, it coiled away from him. It felt good to let go of all the frustration he had been carrying around for the last few years, anger he had kept bottled to protect his daughter and show he was a better person.

The mermaid was far from done, it whipped him with its tail, knocking him against the side of the tank. Santos kicked off the from the side and continued the fight, but he couldn't see anything the water was so bloody, he was sure a good share of it was his own. A bell rang somewhere.

Torn up and bleeding Santos was yanked from the water, he locked eyes with the mermaid again, he thrashed in Steve's grip.

“Whao... calm down there cowboy!”

Santos wriggled himself free of the grip and landed on the stage, he clutched his aching sides and caught his breath. “You people are sick!”

“Good job boy, no one has lasted that long before!”

“Shut up! Forget my fee, this mermaid is mine now, and you will deliver it to an address I give you.”

Rusty Steve laughed, “And why would I do that?”

“Because I'm sure there are plenty of laws against this, and my fans stream my shows live via the Internet.”

“Yes we do,” shouted one of the fans who was holding a camera.

Rusty Steve turned to the police commissioner, The Man shrugged.

“Sonofabitch!”

Santos was relieved that he had gotten all his frustrations out of his system. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with the mermaid yet, but he was sure he wanted to get it out of there and help it out in some way. Research would have to be done and favours would have to be called in.

A new The Red Stone review.

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 09:39:00 +0000

A new review was posted at Amazon.co.uk last night. And I have to admit it is one of my favourites! Thanks to @gavgates

"This is straight up classic fantasy, Smith has written a brilliant and very engaging introduction into a world that would fit perfectly into a Dungeons and Dragons campaign. The beauty of this novel comes into play through the interactions and the backgrounds of the different races to live on the Kingdom of Melin. Smith has used Giants, trolls, humans and Dragons and took them all from a very unique style of viewpoint where they don't necessarily have to be good or evil just because of what they traditionally are seen as, this, coupled with the brave writing approach of not needing to describe every sword swipe of every battle down to the finest detail makes `the red stone' into a very easy to follow tale.

From the first page in Tennen is a very likeable and obvious focal point throughout even before the introduction of his magical artefact or going into his history before your first encounter with him. Every character you meet from chapter to chapter is genuinely memorable and there are many lovely moments like the meeting of Tennen and Captain Norton who has a large role to play in Tennen's development and both wizards Rimotar and Venten whose opposing personalities work superbly with each other and makes me want to know about each characters back story a lot more than I got to. The real stand out is Berrinn, a Bronze dragon who befriends and builds a very solid human bond with Tennen that steals the story almost on its own.

The book ends on a perfect note and leads into a follow on that I can say with a huge relief I have sitting on my shelf and can't wait to start on next. If you are in any way a fan of classic fantasy then I can't recommend The Red Stone enough."

Story Challenge #55

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 08:30:00 +0000

Using the comment section below write us a story inspired by this image.

Just for fun and there are no limits

Thirty-Third Friday Flash - Raptor

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 10:20:00 +0000

They couldn't get in could they? Not through the solid door, surely? The door shook under another impact. Andy gripped the pick a little harder.

Why did he have to follow the gold rush? He was doing just fine back home, but no he had to let the gold lust get the better of him.

The commotion outside grew louder. They could sense him and they wanted to come in. How much of the rest of camp had been eaten already?

His whole mining shack was shaking under the bombardment, his pots, pans and utensils clanging together. He put his hands over his ears for a few seconds and took a deep breath. A bit calmer, he looked up, there was some morning light shining through his ill repaired roof. Pulling a stool closer he ripped away the roof tiles and made the hole bigger.

The door gave out and two raptors burst into the room. Freezing for a second he stared at the two beasts, their beady eyes were full of hunger, hunger for flesh.

He snatched his nearby satchel and tossed it up through the hole, a moment later he jumped up and scrambled through the hole, but he wasn't fast enough, one of the raptors had caught his ankle.

Andy screamed out in pain, the raptor yanked down hard, trying to pull him back through the hole.

Flailing his arms he grabbed the metal chimney, he held on for his life and kicked away with his free leg. Just when he thought the raptor was going to chew he foot off he managed to kick his way free. He tried not look at his shredded foot, biting back the pain he pulled himself further away from the hole. Before he could even catch his breath the roof began to tremble, the ravenous creatures jumping up at the ceiling.

The sun was just peeking over the hills, blanketing the valley in a golden light, any other day it would have been beautiful, now it was just mocking him. If only Jeb hadn't blasted his way through the rockfall and into the next valley.

Andy slowly made his way to the edge of the roof. He could see Jeb's favourite red hat, it lay a few feet away from his almost totally stripped carcase. Barely keeping down his supper he looked away.

It wasn't the way he wanted to go. Feeling weak from the pain and loss of blood he snatched his satchel and pulled out the bundle of dynamite. Before he could think himself out of it he lit the fuse. Waiting a few seconds, he cursed and rolled off the edge and landed in the midst of the creatures. Like pigs at dinner time they pounced on him.

“Chew on this you filthy varmints!”

Story Challenge #54

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 10:07:00 +0000

Using the comment section below write us a story inspired by this image.

There are no limits and it is just for fun.

Thirty-Second Friday Flash and #Divinehell - Treachery

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 15:10:00 +0000

Mick and Keith were the best of friends, doing everything together since they were children. Everything from playing video games, stealing sweets to robbing their first bank when they were sixteen.

Mick was more reluctant of the pair and threatened to quit numerous times, but Keith always convinced him to come back. Over the years they had stashed up quite a retirement fund.

Then one day Keith was looking really down.

“What's up?”

“We have been a detriment to society, I'm going to hand myself in, but you can enjoy our ill gotten gains if you like.”

“If you're going, I'm going!” declared Mick.

They walked into the police station together.

“This is your man!” shouted Keith once they were inside.

Mick was stunned to silence as he was cuffed and hauled away, watching in dismay as Keith grinned and rubbed his hands together.

#Divinehell - Violence

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 12:10:00 +0000

Gertrude loved sales, and nothing annoyed her more than people who tried to stop her. Today there was a sale at her favourite shop Elegant Girl.

After pushing and shoving her way through the masses she spotted a gorgeous coat and ran for it, just missing it. Her rival held and caressed the coat. Raging, Gertrude slammed her trolley into the unsuspecting woman and ripped the coat away. There were gasps and shouts as other customers went to help the stricken woman

A smile plastered across face Gertrude went over to the checkout point with her new coat and other sales items.

Suddenly she felt very hot and flustered.

“Ma'am?” asked the checkout assistant.

“Urgh...”

Gertrude collapsed to the floor clutching her throat. Her blooding boiling as she burst into flames.

“Ma'am!”

#Divinehell - Fraud

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 12:53:00 +0000

Tony smiled as notifications of more payments into his bank account came in, all from OAPs paying a monthly fee for identity theft protection. It made him giddy, it was amazing how gullible people could be. All his brochures and sales pitches were a lie, he did nothing for them, in fact if he wasn't so lazy he would be doing a bit of identity theft himself.

Walking though the park he saw an easy target, an old man feeding some pigeons. Plopping down on the seat, the old man took no notice of him and carried on throwing bread crumbs.

“Fine day today, isn't it?”

“Very much so...” said the man, turning towards him, his face changing into a spitting image of Tony's.

Tony screamed and ran, but not fast enough, the pigeons descended on him. Pecking and tearing at him until there was very little left.

Story Challenge #52

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 11:12:00 +0000

Micro story challenge #52: Using the comment section below write us a story inspired by this image (image via @squidsquirt and @grasscraig)

There are no limits and it's just for fun.

House of Fear, M is for Monster and PULP! (Summer/Fall 2011) Progress Review Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 08:14:00 +0000

I recently won these short story collections via the #coffinhop blog contest and a Kamvison book giveaway.

House of Fear from Kamvison

M is for Monster from Ash Krafton

And PULP! Summer/Fall 2011 and other #coffinhop goodies from Julie Jansen

All wonderful books, and to do the giveaway and the fine people above justice I thought I would do a thorough review of the books. I will try write up a short review of each story, trying my best not to spoil them. I will do 3-4 stories of each book per post. I've also included website details of the writers where I could find them. I will also be posting the reviews on Goodreads (If you're one of the writers involved and I didn't link you, please let me know and I will).

House of Fear:

Objects in Dreams may be Closer than they Appear by Lisa Tuttle:

A case of sometimes it's best not to let your curiosity get the better of you, it could have been a bit tighter, but an interesting tale none the less.

Pied-A-Terre by Stephen Volk

I think Stephen did a great job of writing from a female perspective, and it might make you even more weary when next you go house hunting.

In the Absence of Murdock by Terry Lamsley

Terry has a very old fashioned feel to his writing and checking out his books on Goodreads he's quite the master of the short story. I think lovers of pulp fiction will enjoy this one.

Florrie by Adam L. G. Nevill

As much I liked the other ones so far, I liked this one the most, the transition the story makes from beginning to end is quite remarkable. It will certainly make you think about who lived in a house previously to you.

M is for Monster

(a collection of stories from A to Z, each letter representing a monster)

A by Ash Krafton

A fine little tale that shows you that nature has more ways to fight back than you realize.

B by Andrew Taylor

This story was quite predictable, but nicely written and it's not often you see a banshee is it?

C by D.M. Youngquist

I enjoyed this story quite a lot. A solider on the frontline discovers his family tree is more complicated than he thought and takes on a God...

PULP! Summer/Fall 2011

A Stranger in Ferrview by Frank R Sjodin

With a mysterious space monster and a space hero called into take it down you can really feel the sense of excitement and wonder in this story(told from a young boy's perspective), even thought it was recently written I think it would fit perfectly into a Golden Age Sci-Fi collection.

The Man in the Barn by D.L. Chance

Story has a Men in Black feel to it, but in a good way. It's sort of one of those stories where an alien race warns us that we are on the wrong path, but it has enough of a twist to make it interesting and enjoyable.

Darmok and the Mermaids of the Sea by Ethan Nahte

A hero with strange abilities that can take on pretty much anyone plus the allure of scantly clad women.. There were no surprises in this story, but finely written and a must for sword and sorcery readers.

#Divinehell - Heresy

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 10:57:00 +0000

Jonas should have just left when he saw the salesman was dressed up as a priest, they gave him the creeps at the best of times, but they were having a 75% off sale, how could he refuse?

“Welcome to the Sixth Circle,” said the man in black rubbing his hands together.

“Sixth Circle?”

“All our jacuzzis are round...”

“Ah, can you point me to your best one?”

“Right this way, care to try it out?”

Jonas wasn't in a hurry. “Try before you buy as they say...”

Jonas stripped to his boxers and jumped in. Within moments the water was boiling. He tried to get out, but the priest slammed the lid shut on him before he could, laughing as he did so.

#Divinehell - Limbo

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 10:11:00 +0000

Rufus was beginning to regret turning away all those missionaries from his door, not as much as he regretted helping his drunk friend move a large fridge up some stairs, but almost.

The successfully lower limbo bars were lined up as far as he could see. Not that you would notice, each one was only an atom lower than the previous one. But he didn't have time to dawdle, the burning sensation that engulfed his body got worse the longer he lingered.

Most of all he wasn't looking forward to the one that was only one atom high.

Thirty-First Friday Flash: Aether Gilileo

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 11:10:00 +0000

(Image Source)

Brünhilda looked down at the landscape as it drifted by down below, the wind blowing through her long gray hair. It felt refreshing.

Her cat Zeplin leaped up onto the rail, Brünhilda swept away her morning coffee just in time.

“Not today my furry little friend!” she said scratching behind his ears. “I would love to stay and chat, but we had better get to work.”

Today, a village just over the mountain was in need of some rain, and it was her job to take it to them.

Plopping behind the controls she guided the ship higher. Her airship's tiny, but powerful motors responding nicely. Zeplin took up the seat next to her, Bob's old spot.

“Things were easier when Bob was around, but I do appreciate your company.. Ah there's a suitable cloud, a bit too large, but we don't have time to mess around.”

Gliding into position above the cloud she pulled the lever beside her seat, the cloud hitcher lowered, a long thin and perforated silver bar that ran along the length of her airship Aether Gilileo.

Meow.

“Your instincts are correct, we are just about centre.”

Brünhilda pushed a button on top of the lever. Nozzles along the silver bar began to spray a special formula that bonded the cloud to the cloud hitcher, freezing it just enough so that it would stick to the bar. The airship began to sink as the cloud got heavier.

The engines whined and complained under the extra weight. Brünhilda applied more power.

“Come old girl, keep it together!”

Zeplin meowed again.

“Yes, that should do it. Let's go give a little rain to the fine people of Claytonville.”

Brünhilda pushed Aether Gilileo to the limit as she tried to make her deadline. Finally clearing the mountains Brünhilda and her ship ran into a raging storm, which wasn't possible, the area was supposed to be bone dry!

Snatching up her radio she got a hold of Claytonville's mayor's office.

“What is going on Rick?”

“Oh, Brünhilda, I...”

A red light began to flash like crazy, it was the proximity alert, she dropped the radio and yanked on the controls. It wouldn't be good enough, she had to release the cloud.

A large object loomed up in front of them, with the cloud now released they shot up. Aether Gilileo almost shaking apart under all the stress.

Her heart sank as she saw the large logo “Air Corp” brandished across the huge airship she had almost collided with.

She had heard rumours, she had hoped weren't true, of Air Corp expanding into the area. A swarm of flying objects came flying towards them.

“They want to fight do they?”

Brünhilda grabbed her double-barrel shotgun from its holder behind her and raised it to shoulder level, she had never used it, she wasn't even sure it was loaded, but she would use it if she needed to.

It was a swarm of watermelon sized hoverbots. “This is restricted Air Corp airspace. Leave or we will be forced to take further action against you,” said a mechanical voice.

“This is my seeding area, you have no right to steal it!” she shouted back.

“Air Corp legally bought out your contract and license to seed.”

“You did what?” Tears rolled down her eyes. What would Bob think? Their family business just being taken out like that.

She fired. The recoil of the gun sent her flying back into the wood paneling of her ship. One of the bots caught on fire and went crashing down.

The rest of the bots responded quickly and blasted away at Aether Gilileo with their green lasers, parts of the ship were catching on fire.

“I have to fight them off!”

She pulled herself up by the rail and tried to swat the dancing bots with the gun. Getting more and more frustrated that she couldn't hit any of them. Zeplin purred and wrapped himself around her legs.

“You're right it's hopeless,” she placed the gun down. “Alright! Stop! I'm leaving.”

The bots stopped instantly, and then zoomed off again. With the immediate threat gone she went about putting all the fires out, luckily there was no serious damage and most of the fires had been put out by the wind and rain.

Brünhilda sighed and picked up Zeplin. “Come on, I think it's about time we retired.”

Thirtieth Friday Flash: Roxy the T-Rex

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 10:22:00 +0000

Image Source

Calvin was one of the very few to have kept his Genopet, sure she ate a lot and didn't clean up after herself like the Robpets did, but she made up for it in companionship and loyalty. In addition for a four foot something T-Rex she was very cute. Not puppy dog cute, but close enough.

It had been a hard day at school and Calvin was enjoying the walk through the park with Roxy until Marybell the showed up. He didn't mind her too much, he just didn't like how negative and confrontational she always was. She made a beeline towards them.

“It's Cally and Roxy,” she pointed at Roxy. “You're so last cycle, how can you even look at yourself in the digimirror?”

Roxy scraped the ground with her clawed foot and snorted.

Calvin leaned over and hugged Roxy around the neck. “Don't listen to her Roxy, she doesn't know what she is talking about.”

Marybell scowled, her emotive clothing flaring red. It was the latest trend, matching the wearer's emotions Marybell's was often red.

“I so do know what I am talking about. I learned how filthy they are during my morning download.”

“I don't know how you can let them tamper with your brain like that. Six hours of learning crammed into half an hour is just not right. Plus they are way biased towards the Big Five. I wouldn't be surprised if half of it is brainwashing you into buying their junk.”

“You shut up! I am way smarter than you and you know it, but anyway that is not the point. Roxy is a polluter!”

“All lies, Roxy is very environmentally friendly, we use her waste as compost.”

“Ew! That's disgusting.”

“They also spread disease.”

“More propaganda, the Big Five just want more people to buy their inhuman Robopets.”

“Poppycock!” Marybell folded her arms. Her jumpsuit flaming an even brighter red. “It does everything for me, look!”

The bright orange humanoid robot stood beside her holding up a parasol.

Roxy nuzzled his neck and Calvin giggled. “What about friendship? It doesn't seem to care very much at all.”

“Huh!” She turned to her robot servant. “That is where you are wrong. XP7, are you my friend?”

“Yes, it is part of my duties.”

Calvin shivered. “His voice is so real. Doesn't it freak you out a bit?”

“Not at all, are you technophobe or something?”

“No,” said Calvin. “Without technology I wouldn't have my Roxy.”

“You're so annoying!”

Calvin turned to the robot. “What is Mary's favourite colour?”

“I do not have access to such information.”

“Her favourite food?”

“Irrelevant.”

“Her favourite thing to do?”

“Irrelevant.”

“Hey! Stop it,” said Marybell. “I don't need a friend anyway, it is just here to do what I tell it to do.”

XP7 turned to Marybell sharply. “I am not your slave,” stated the machine firmly.

“Yes you are, you piece of junk!” Marybell hit the machine with her handbag.

Calvin laughed.

“Violence towards the XP7 is prohibited.”

“Do you think that will stop me!” shouted Marybell hitting the Robopet again, this time a little harder.

Faster than any of them could follow XP7 grabbed Mary's hand.

“Ow! You're hurting me.”

Roxy growled and her nostrils flared.

“Let me go,” whined Marybell, her face almost as red as her jumpsuit.

“First you must promise to never hit XP7 again.” XP7 lifted its arm, Marybell had to go on tiptoes to avoid more pain.

“I will do no such thing.”

XP7 pulled Marybell off her feet. She had gone pale, but not as white as her jumpsuit.

“Roxy!”

Roxy shot forward, clamping her jaws around the android’s head as she took it down. XP7 let go of Mary and she rolled to the side.

XP7 resisted, trying to get a hold of Roxy's muscular body, but it was of little use, the miniature dinosaur was just too strong. Roxy's razor sharp teeth making short work of the plastisteel skull. XP7 went limp.

Roxy proceeded to play with the lifeless hunk of metal, throwing it around like a ragdoll.

Cavlin helped Marybell to her feet.

“Thank you,” she said, not looking at him in the eye. The colour of her jumpsuit turning to a calm and neutral blue.

“No problem, it will teach you to take better care of your things

Marybell pulled away. “You owe me a new one, you know.”

“You honestly want another one of those things?”

“No, no, I guess not.”

“You're far too angry for someone your age.” Calvin sat down on a nearby bench and watched Roxy play catch with the robot's now detached head.

Marybell looked down. “I can be, it's just so lonely you know, my parents are always working, and I don't have much friends.”

“You need to go to proper school like me.”

“But isn't that boring?”

“Sometimes, but the teachers make it fun.”

Marybell sat down next to him. “I will talk to my parents. Maybe if I sell some of my stuff we can afford it.”

“That will be great.”

She smiled, it was the first time Calvin had ever seen her do so.

“And can you see if you can find me a friend like Roxy?”

“Sure can, I know someone that has a cute polar bear. Will be perfect for you.”

“Can't wait!”

Calvin got up and joined Roxy in playing with XP7's head. Marybell soon did the same, laughing as she did so.

Story Challenge #50

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 09:12:00 +0000

(image source)

Micro story challenge #50: Using the comment section below write us a story inspired by this image (Floating with Sheep)

There are no limits and it's just for fun.

Story Challenge #48

noreply@blogger.com (Craig Smith) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 06:23:00 +0000

Micro story challenge #47: Using the comment section below write us a story inspired by this image (CU-02 in Love by Goro Fujita)

It's just for fun and there are no limits.