Tina-cious.com

Eve was framed.

2009-07-10T08:00:00.007-04:00

So... remember that M@rilyn b!tch? OMG, that whole situation has spiraled into some real Twilight Zone sh!t.

No, seriously, you won't even believe it.

Really.

Her husband, P@ul M!ller (don't worry, after this suit is over you will get ALL of his information, trust and believe), is a f#cking lunatic.

So like I said, I filed a lawsuit against those f#ckers for using my son to get to me to collect a debt. Statutorily, you can sue for $1,000 if a debt collector shows his ass when trying to collect a debt. Plus attorney's fees.

Up to THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS in attorney's fees.

Ehem, yeah.

Anyway -- I figured, what the hell, I get an easy grand and they get taught a lesson about following the rules and not doing d!ckwad things like manipulating a parent-child relationship to get a phone call.

So, I filed the first lawsuit I've ever filed in my life (on my own behalf).

DEAR. LORD.

First off -- this P@ul douchebag guy, is representing himself.

Now, his sons and my son are friends from school. Jeremie has slept over their house on two occasions. I actually talked to that M@rilyn wench on a few occasions (twice regarding sleeping over and once at the elections).

You. Would. Not. Believe. the sh!t this motherf#cker has filed in court. Sh!t that is not only 1,000% irrelevant but 1,000,000% untrue and 1,000,000,000% insane.

For instance, he sent things in saying that because my son slept over twice he has a "pseud0-p@rental" relationship with him and that I gave him the title of Gu@rdian by allowing it.

Sh!t, if you're a "pseudo-p@rent" then how about paying some "pseudo-child-support" motherf#cker.

He also sent something to court saying that his son, "single-handedly" saved my son's life when he fell through the ice.

G'head re-read that blog entry. Did I mention someone saving his life?

That's because no one did. They may have wanted to but no one could reach him on the thin ice. Jeremie saved himself. And even IF this f#cker's kid saved his life... tell me again, how that sh!t is relevant?

Now I hear he's trying to use his bogus "c0llection agency" to poke around my credit reports.

How this guy has lived this long without gettin' shanked, I have no f#ckin' idea.

Anyway -- so I went online and put a security/fraud freeze on my accounts.

Then I find out that he has two felony convictions.

I'm not kidding when I say this guy is the lowest form of sh!t. That's right, he's diarrhea. And I wish that upon him. The horrible stomach-wrenching kind.

Truly, what bothers me more than anything else is him constantly putting Jeremie's name in sh!t. I mean, for God's sake, he even printed and sent to court a private communication between Jeremie and his son on F@cebook!

That's right folkz, a F@cebook page was Exhibit E.

As far as I'm concerned this sh!t will NEVER be over.

EVER.

And any and all ideas for public humiliation, h@rassment, t0rture, whatever will be considered.

Email me. Please don't think I'm kidding.

Build a man a fire, you warm him for a day. Set a man on fire, you warm him for the rest of his life.

2009-07-09T08:00:00.000-04:00

On Monday was my first group for Trans*Partners.

It's a group I created via the Center for the partners of transgendered folk. There were only 3 in attendance -- which isn't bad for a first meeting -- and I thought the discussion was really interesting.

It's kind of interesting the role of the partner in a transition.

It's a bit isolating - at least it can be if you allow it to be.

There's also this sense of everyone else being true to themselves but you and that is something that you really have to wrestle with.

I mean, in my case, if Jess is true to himself he has to transition. But how does that jive with my "true self" the lesbian? Truth is, it doesn't.

Which then causes you to boil your relationship down to bare bones to figure out that it is about that person that you love. One rarely has to examine their love for someone -- absent of conflict -- with such a big magnifying glass as does the partner of a transman/woman.

Questions abound:

"Can I stay?"

"Can I love a man?"

"Can I be attracted to a man?"

"Can I live with/without _____________ (insert: boobs, soft skin, curvy hips, facial hair, change in scent, excess body hair, etc.)?"

"What will be my place lesbian community?"

"Will I have a place in the lesbian community?"

...and those are just some questions.

As for me, I'm currently residing in a non-panicked state.

I've settled down and am pretty much just gonna "wait and see" what's coming next.

So far Jess hasn't made any huge changes. He's been going to the gym a lot -- which apparently this need to exert energy is a new thing. So he's getting more muscular.

His voice is hovering at the low end of his register more often than not.

Mostly that's it for physical changes so far. So far, it's no big deal for me -- so I'm still comfortable.

It's nice to have a group of people to talk to who are at various stages of being a trans*partner - to see both where I've been and where I'm heading.

In the meantime... I wait and see.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-08T08:00:00.000-04:00

But for my absence of skills, I would totally be a ninja.

2009-07-07T09:09:00.005-04:00

Val says I need to blog and -- oddly enough I have a lot of sh!t to talk about -- just hadn't had time -- work's been kickin' my rump...

But... we'll start w/ the mortgage stuff...

Ok, so remember the fiasco with my mortgage company?

Wellllllllllllllll, here I thought that sh!t was handled, and it wasn't. So here's what happened after that call:

Mr. Russell -- what-the-fuck-ever-his-name-was never called me back with a confirmation number.

EVER.

I called him later that day, the next day and the next day and no return call.

So on July 2nd I called to talk to someone else.

Guess what they told me -- g'head, try to guess.

Oh never mind, you'll never guess. Russell f#ck face supervisor NEVER put the payment through nor did he even put a note in my account. Nothing.

Soooooooooo I had to start over explaining and what not. Finally, I called ANOTHER supervisor and he finally put it through WITH a confirmation number.

Ok, then, FINALLY it's done, right?

Nope.

Yesterday I see the payment cleared my account (ouch...) and so I'm like YAY! It's all good!

I check my account online.

So far only May's mortgage payment has applied (since that rate wasn't in dispute and it was June and July that had jumped $800).

But the rest of the money was in the suspense account.

Ok....... not sure why, but since they had to make a payment adjustment for those two months maybe it takes longer.

This morning I come into work to find an email from my mortgage company saying that a payment has been applied.

I log in.

What do I see?

They applied the money to June at the +$800 rate and applied the rest to late fees and my July mortgage payment isn't made.

Seriously, I totally get it now why people become snipers and sit on top of buildings picking people off.

So -- I call them again (which just feels like torture to me now)...

I again run through 4,000 security questions -- then explain how those payments should've been applied -- he was very nice and said it should be taken care of in 7-10 days.

We shall see.

The conversation was relatively short and pleasant.

I find it ironic that he was the only one to suggest I take the customer satisfaction survey at the end of the call though.

I can't believe that first supervisor just yes'd me to death and did nothing. These are peoples HOMES you a f#cking with... what kind of sick, rat bastard plays games w/ sh!t like that?

I know one thing, Russell's gonna be "signing up" for a whole lot of phone solicitations from now on.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

Adventures in Customer Service

2009-06-30T10:53:00.002-04:00

Background: Apparently I have two tax bills for my property. For 6 years I didn't know that. I talked about this once before.

Apparently they didn't take the money out of my equity but instead shorted my escrow account and increased my mortgage payments about $800.

I called in January to tell them that I couldn't pay an extra $800 per month (which is nearly double what I was originally paying) and they said that I could pay back the escrow shortage over 24 months and that my mortgage payment would go up $200 starting in March.

March and April I pay this new amount.

May, for whatever mishap, we missed the mortgage payment. I called and made arrangements to pay it this month.

Yesterday I called to square my account.

6:00pm June 29th: Call customer service to make a 3 payments on my mortgage, for May, June and July.

We endlessley run through the numbers with the guy who says I owe $1,800 for each of those months.

I explain to him how I came to an agreement with them in January to pay an additional $200/month for 24 months and that I was prepared to make 3 payments that day at that rate.

Put on hold over and over and over again.

He says, OK, the difference between the $800 extra and $200 extra would be added to the shortage and that I can pay that back over 18 months (not sure why the time period shortened) and that starting in August my mortgage would go up $400 and change per month instead of $200/month like they agreed in January (which sucks monkey nuts but can be scraped together).

Fine. Let me give you the money.

He says he can't take the payment and that the collections department has to take the payment.

Super.

7:00pm June 29th: Connected to collections who I have to explain everything to again. I tell him the arrangement that customer service made with me.

Put on hold over and over and over again.

He says he can't take the payment because I made the arrangement with customer service.

Super.

8:00pm June 29th: Connected to customer service who I have to explain everything to again. I tell them the arrangement again.

Put on hold over and over and over again.

She comes back and tells me she can't take a payment because the collections department has a hold on my account and now they are closed.

I tell her the 1st guy says that it's supposed to go in the "suspense" account anyway.

Put on hold over and over and over again.

She says she can't take my payment because she doesn't know how much to take because apparently the 1st customer service guy didn't put in the amount of the payment they were supposed to take that day.

I tell her the amount and that that amount matches my last two payments and tell her to just put the amount in herself.

Put on hold over and over and over again.

She comes back and says she can't do that without talking to a supervisor and that now they are closed now that it's 8:30pm so I'll just have to call back tomorrow.

My head explodes.

8:30 am June 30th: Call back and talk to collections who I explain EVERYTHING to AGAIN and she says they can take the payment.

Put on hold over and over and over again.

Comes back and says she can't take the payment and that I have to talk to customer service since they "made the deal."

I tell her to please take any holds that are on my account off so that I can pay customer service since that was her excuse last nite for not taking my payment.

"There is no hold on your account."

Ok. Fine.

::::feeling completely defeated now:::::

9:00 am June 30th: Tranferred back to customer service -- go through an hour of "security questions" to which I refuse to answer any more (which now makes her pissy but at this point I'm sure I can liquify my arm and reach through the arm and strangle a bitch).

Again.

I.
Explain.
Everything.
All.
Over.
Again.

She tells me that she can take the payment.

Put on hold over and over and over again.

She comes back and tells me she can't take the payment because collections has a hold on the account.

<::I::>
<::H::><::A::><::V::><::E::>
<::A::>
<::M::><::E::><::L::><::T::><::D::><::O::><::W::><::N::>

I explain it all once again and how I can't understand why they can't honor their own agreements.

She puts me on hold.

Comes back with her supervisor on the line.

9:25 am June 30th: She hands the call off to her supervisor.

Once again I explain EVERYTHING.

9:27 am June 30th: He accepts the payment confirms the arrangement the first guy made and said he'd call me later with a my confirmation number for my payment.

Now tell me -- if any of those f#ckers I talked to knew they didn't have the knowledge and/or power to solve my problem, WHY didn't THEY suggest I talk to the supervisor?

Why put me through 4 hours of SHEER hell??

NOTE TO SELF: Always ask for the supervisor.

The jig is up.

2009-06-29T11:14:00.004-04:00

Remember the chicks from the first part of this blog entry?

This is what one of them drives:

I rest my case.

Pride Parade post tomorrow. Hopefully.

Why it's OK to mourn Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T08:36:00.008-04:00

As you know, yesterday was a rough day for celebrity icons. First, Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer. Farrah's death saddened me in that she was on one of my favorite shows of ALL TIME.

Seriously, Jaclyn Smith -- MERCY!!!! Ehem.. yeah...
And this picture still makes me shake my head in appreciation of nipples:

Then later in the day Michael Jackson passed suddenly.

While those who of us who knew Farrah was battling cancer expected her death sooner rather than later -- Michael Jackson, on the other hand, was a complete and total shock.

At least to me.

Jess and I were getting texts from people saying he died so we hopped on CNN.com and saw that he was in a coma. Then we reloaded the page.

The headline that appeared drew an audible gasp from the two of us.

He, of the two deaths, was the one that actually drew a reaction from our 20 and 16 year old children. The kids didn't have a clue who Farrah was (sigh).

Of course, I was all over twitter and facebook when it all went down to see people's reactions when Michael died and most were, "OMG, I can't believe it." and "I'm so sad" and so on and so forth.

Then I started to see them, "Oh, he's a pedophile, good riddance." and "Michael was already dead." and comments like that.

And I thought -- "Wow, that makes me sad."

This morning when I popped my ipoop into the player in the car, it just so happened that Say, Say, Say was the first song to play. And I remembered...

So let me tell you why it's OK to mourn Michael -- especially if you're a child of the late 60s through the 70s.

Michael is/was a visual representation of our youth.

Michael was the first celebrity that ignited me and the rest of the world with me.

When he was still black he was ADORABLE.

In fact, I asked my mother if I could marry him if he was 14 years older than me. She, of course, said no that was too big an age difference -- then proceeded to marry a man 13 years her junior (Gawd, I love my mother).

His music and his vision and his charity were legendary.

His concerts were true entertainment (I've never been to one but I watched them on TV).

He was on top of his game in a time of my life when TV was actually good and the characters staring back at me on the screen were not yet walking talking advertisements for botox, anorexia and peroxide.

He was never good with the status quo and pushed boundaries of music and entertainment in general.

We have every right to be sad about the sad ending to a tragic story of what was once a great man.

I think the most tragic aspect of his life was that he was mentally ill and his celebrity prevented him from being diagnosed and treated. He was surrounded by Yes-Men who never questioned anything or did anything to help the man that was self-destructing right in front of their eyes.

His self-loathing was evident in that he made every attempt to wash away the fact that he was a black man. From bleaching his skin to thinning his nose (beyond human limits) to having blonde-haired, blue-eyed children.

He also had an obsessive need to recreate his lost youth.

What he did or didn't do with the children he was accused of molesting is really not anything we'll ever really know.

I do know one thing -- after the first accusation of molestation any child after that that slept at his house and then accused him of impropriety was at the very least 1/2 their parents' fault.

What parent in their right mind would send their child to sleep at a strange (in more than one sense of the word) man's house unsupervised? ESPECIALLY if there are already accusations of sexual misconduct with other children.

I find those parents disgusting. They intentionally put their children in harm's way so that they could steal a bit of the Jackson empire.

I sincerely hope they get what's coming to them.

But I blogress...

Michael Jackson has left this world but not before leaving a big-ass white shimmery glove print on it.

How many of us will leave that kind of legacy behind?

Is it a shame that mental illness destroyed this man and caused him to make poor judgments and that he had no true friends to rely on to help him see and treat his mental illness? Absolutely.

But does that mean we can't mourn the man he once was? No.

I mourn his talent, his bravery, his vision, his aid to the less fortunate and his fire.

Thank you for your contribution to my youth, for sparking my imagination and opening up all the boundaries my mind set on what was possible in this life.

No amount of nose surgeries or pet monkeys will take away what you gave to the 12 year old Tina-cious.

So -- to two icons of the days of yore I say, thank you.

May you finally enjoy the peace of no longer living under the scrutiny of this cruel world.

We will miss you.

Friends

2009-06-25T08:57:00.005-04:00

When you come from a dysfunctional family, your friends become like family. It's always been that way. I've always relied on my friends to be my support system (poor bastards). Never since I have had a choice in the matter have I ever fell back on my family.

Maybe that's because I can't relate to them. Maybe it's because my mom is emotionally disconnected from me and always has been, even before the big gay bomb dropped.

Who knows, but it is what it is.

Some friends have come and gone over the years. At one point or another I spent a lot of time with them and then they were gone. Either distance caused the detachment or we just grew apart... or grew up. Who knows.

The ones that have persisted, have for a reason.

I have a small handful of friends that I've known a very long time: Bobbie, Khadijah, Kat, Tina, Val and Katie, mainly. From Val who I've known for 7 years all the way up to Khadijah who I've known since I was a child. I love these people dearly. We have been through so much laughter, tears, heartache, joy and accomplishment over the years that these people are as close to me as someone really can get.

Not everyone makes the "close friend" cut, though. There are a ton of people that I'm happy to see if I run into them, but I don't make any real effort to be around them and I'm good with that. A lot of time there are personality differences that keep them from advancing to a closer place for me. But hey, not everyone is meant to be your best bud... so there it is.

In the past 12 months or so, though, we've made a slew of new friends. It's amazing to me how quickly these new friends have become a big part of my life.

We have spent so much time together lately and I am so happy about it. Most of the above "old-timers" included but new people have been added and it just feels like a big family.

We have a lot of plans for this summer that I'm so completely excited about. This weekend kicks it off with an outing to celebrate Kat and Tina's bazillionth year anniversary on Saturday and then a bunch of us are heading up to NYC Pride and are marching in the parade on behalf of Pepsi (they are donating to the Center in exchange for our frail bodies being dragged through the streets of NYC lol). So if you're there look for the Pepsi group who will be handin' out sheeit.

Anyway, my point is that I have no idea what driving forces pull people in and out of our lives... but right now I am thankful for those that I count amongst my friends -- both old and new.

You each bring your own little light into my life. And I guess all this blabber was just my way of saying thank you for that.

Well, that's enough gushing for me.

Happy Pride Month folkz!

Me and Jess, NYC Pride, 2006

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-24T08:00:00.002-04:00

Psssst...

Check out my new review and giveway on my review blog! You can win a free "toy" of your choice valued up to $50!

Pass it on!

Gettin' my edumacation.

2009-06-23T08:27:00.005-04:00

As you know, I finished my bachelor's degree in December of '08. Well, being as from the look of things, my department's days are numbered, I really really need to get back into school for my masters.

So... I'm in the process of applying for the instructional technology program at UB.

I'm gonna need two references. Raise yer hand if you wanna volunteer.

I'm kind of dreading being back in school but I'm kind of excited about it too. For two reasons:

1) I can put off my student loan repayments again (I'm dreading the day when I can no longer do that).

2) I will feel like I'm doing something to advance my life/career/situation.

I just hope I can finish school before my company totally dismantles my job site.

Though -- I have to say, I'm kinda wondering if I should switch my career goal to guidance counselor.

That recent suicide really has got me thinking I want to be more active with teens.

Hmm.

Sorry, this post isn't all that exciting.

So here's some excitement. Look for tomorrow's s3x toy review and free s3x toy contest on my review blog!

Excited yet?? ;)

Loss.

2009-06-22T08:00:00.002-04:00

This here is Juan.

I had a total crush on him back in the day.

He was sweet to me. Kind, handsome and well... just sweet... and he was sweet on me. :)... he really just made me feel like someone out there cared about me.

One day back in -- gawd, I have no idea -- maybe 1991 or 1992, we were supposed to go out one night but the asshole boyfriend I was with at the time was finally going to not be out w/ his mistress, so I didn't go out with Juan that night.

That night Juan played a game of Russian Roulette.

He didn't win.

He was brain dead for about 1/2 a day before his body finally realized he was already gone.

I. Was. Devastated.

At the funeral one of his friends was blasting that song, Hard to Say Goodbye by Boyz II Men. That song will forever make me sad.

I worked with Juan's step-father at McDonald's back then and he cried in my arms at his funeral. It was the first time I'd ever seen a grown man cry. Not just tears but the kind of heart-wrenching guttural sobbing the shreds your heart to witness.

I remember the sadness I felt that day. I remember it well.

We were both just teenagers and he was taken from me for no good reason.

The other day one of my son, Jeremie's, friends committed suicide.

She was just 17.

She was also bisexual. Gay youth are 4x's more likely to commit suicide than their heterosexual counterparts (source). FOUR TIMES.

Though known to be clinically depressed this girl, from the outside looking in, seemed to have everything. She had a ton of friends. No enemies, smart, beautiful and kind.

She slit her wrists the last day of her junior year of high school and left behind a ripple effect of sorrow and pain.

Every time I think of how devastated I would be if one of my children decided that was their only option, my heart shatters.

I can't imagine how her parents feel.

Jeremie told me how much sadness he feels because he didn't recognize her pain in time to help her. He is now on a mission to talk to youth about NOT committing suicide and getting help before it's too late. I'm so proud of him.

I am so happy that Jess wants to someday foster the LGBT youth to try to keep one more needless death from happening. Maybe we can make a small difference.

Her final facebook post was "5 exams... ewww."

Before that, "I can't sleep... I can't eat... what's wrong with me?"

The signs were there -- but now it's too late to interpret them.

I can't express to you the hurt and sorrow I feel for this girl I didn't even know.

You poor, poor child... I wish you had known that this too would have passed. This life would have changed. Your sorrow would have lifted. Your life would have brightened. It's never the end of your rope.

We have all been there.

We have all felt that despair.

That loneliness.

That feeling that no one loves us and that we'd rather be dead than to live another minute.

I wish I could have told you about our youth group at the center so you could've found like-minded teens to help you through your pain.

I wish.

Yet my wishing will not return your beauty to this earth.

It is gone from us.

Like so many millions of others who issued a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

My heart aches for your family and your friends who are left behind to pick up the pieces and wonder what they did wrong.

For your younger sister who found you lifeless and covered in blood.

For you in those last seconds when life began to drift away from you and the darkness set in.

My heart. Simply. Aches.

Tina-cious Joyner-Kersee

2009-06-19T08:00:00.004-04:00

One of the most awesome sports to watch is track. At least to me.

I think that the sheer POWER demonstrated by runners is awe inspiring. You are relying on no one. Just pure strength and will. YOUR strength and will... and yours alone.

....well, unless you run relays but when I saw people dropping batons at the olympics my heart broke to a million pieces... I don't like relays :P...

Watching a lone runner pull out ahead of the pack and fly around a track is so utterly impressive to me.

I'm so sad that Kristie no longer runs track. I LOVED watching her run. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking to me. But I loved every second of it.

Partially because I love to see her run with those long giraffe legs (lol) and partially because it brings me back.

It brings me back to the days before I even had Kristie and I used to run. I remember the wind in my hair and the feelings of the muscles in my legs carrying me faster than even I thought they could go.

To the days when people would look me in the face and discount me as a threat before a race then soon realize they only ever saw the back of my head the rest of the race.

To the days of being midway through a race having general chit chat with a fellow friend/runner then say "goodbye" and leave them in roughly the same location while I finished the race.

The feeling of flying without leaving the ground.

I miss it.

Of course it was grumpy granny's entry the other day about going back to her love of swimming that got me thinking about what I missed.

And now that I'm about half way to my goal weight (oh yeah, by the way, I've lost nearly 30 lbs :P) -- I think I'm going to be setting my sights on getting back to running (yes, Beck, I realize how dangerous it is to say that within "ear shot" of you LOL).

So. I've updated my "34 things to do before I die" list over there in my sidebar. I now have 36 things to do.

Looks like I can't die any time soon.

(¯`·.¤ Follow Fridays ¤.·´¯)

Ok, so I KNEW I would forget to do these! I'm gonna call these "Follow Fridays" (like on Twitter) so that you can find new people to follow too. :) And iffen I make them on Fridays MAYBE I'll remember to do them on Fridays.

8th Day Planner is an awesome lesbian, mom, blogger that I read.

Her recent post about the story her daughter's friend wrote was just so sweet it made my teeth hurt!

Just typical of her entries, really. :)

Check her out here.

A lying politician? Quelle surprise.

2009-06-18T08:00:00.003-04:00

:::NOTE::: as this post goes on, I get more pissy, as you can see the swear words increase exponentially.. you've been warned::::

Ok, I voted for Barack Obama.

I bought his "Yes We Can" spiel and -- I have to say -- I was moved by him.

I didn't vote for him in the primaries though. Nope. I voted for Hillary. I voted for Hillary because I trusted her -- well, as much as one can trust a lying, dirty-ass, back-stabbing, people-crushing politician, anyway.

BUT -- since this country is a bunch of pussies and couldn't let a pussy run the country, my second choice was Barack.

And MAN did that man talk a good game.

So, as you may have heard, he got elected and inherited the worst economy EVER. Not just b/c the US is flat fucking broke, no... but because the Bush administration fostered an environment of unlimited greed and corruption like the country's never seen before.

The perfect example was Bernie Madoff. If someone like him DIDN'T come along, I woulda been shocked. Shit, in the US, the rich fucking over the poor is a national pastime, fuck a baseball.

Anyhoo -- so I've been watching the gay blogs and everyone was all -- "ok, you've been in office 100 days where are our gay rights that you promised us???"

Me, well, I thought... "ok, this guy has a BIG problem with the economy and wars and shit, give him a minute!"

I mean, hell, it takes me 6 months in a new job just to know where the hell to find the stapler.

Then I found out that that motherfucker actually allowed a brief to be written and submitted to court SUPPORTING DOMA. More on that here.

Are you fuckin' kidding me???

REALLY???

It's one thing to do abso-fucking-lutely nothing to help us achieve the equal rights you swore up and down just 8 months ago that you were going to be our "fierce advocate" and help us get... it's another thing entirely to ACTIVELY stand in the way of us getting it our fucking selves.

Wow.

That's just a low blow. For real.

Good lookin' out, buddy.

Watch how quick I vote for yer ass next time around.

Bunch of bullshit.

p.s. Happy birthday GREG!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-17T08:00:00.001-04:00

Taking T and I don't mean me

2009-06-16T08:54:00.004-04:00

(¯`·.¤ Jess ¤.·´¯)
Welp. Today is the day. Jess is most likely getting his first injection of testosterone - provided all of his labs come back OK.

My guts are kinda twisted in a knot right now.

Anyway, I'm not sure if Jess mentioned it or not, but we are making a documentary of his transition. Yes, I know it's been done before, but never from the perspective of both the "transitioner" and their partner.

I'd also like to get some footage of our friends -- consider that a warning of an email to follow.

(¯`·.¤ In Other News ¤.·´¯)

Today is also the anniversary of Jess proposing to me.

It's been 3 years. Can you believe it?

(¯`·.¤ Happy Birthday ¤.·´¯)

....to Packie! Hope you have a great day! :)

I guess that's it for me. My office is swarming with bigwigs this week. Sigh.

Need. More. Coffee.

2009-06-15T08:51:00.005-04:00

Heya folkz. Been a minute since I posted, huh?

For those of you reading me via a reader/email -- get yer arse to my blog. I changed the layout. Lemme know whatcha think.

Though I loved my ladiez... well, it was time.

(¯`·.¤ Friday ¤.·´¯)

I took Friday off to spend the last of it with Berooni before she headed back to N. Carolina.

So after some putzing around online we went out to the mall (ugh) in Milford where Bob did a little shopping. Then the hair store in Bridgeport (I'm lookin' for those highlight clip-on extensions for less than $1,000,000 -- they didn't have 'em).

Kristie's "fashion show" on Friday was a bust.

If there was Marc Jacobs ANYTHING there, I'd be surprised. First of all it was in a bar and the "runway" was a path made of chairs on the dance floor.

They started an hour and a half late and charged $40 a ticket.

There were about 5 girls, no guys and each girl wore 2 outfits.

That's right, the show was over in 10 mins. There was no free food or free ANYTHING for that $40 either.

Livid isn't even the word for how I felt. Lemme tell ya. Shit.

Anyhoo, Kristie looked good as usual.

Here's my favorite pic of her in one of the TWO (effin') outfits:

So, needless to say we got home relatively early.

After that Bob said she wanted to go out to the club for her last nite so we all converged on the Brook in Westport.

I'd show you pictures but Bobbie was the only one w/ a camera and -- well, SOMEONE'S takin' their sweet time uploading 'em. :::ehem:::

I was sloshed that nite and apparently was talking to anyone who crossed my path.

Something else happened that nite that has never happened before.

Jess was this [] close to fighting someone.

I KNOW! LOL

Never thought I'd see THAT happen, seriously.

What happened was that there was this girl (let's call her Rolling Stones Hat Girl or RSHG for short) who kept following me around the club all night -- finding reasons to talk to me. Me, I was so drunk I just thought she was friendly and it was a coincidence that I was seeing her (I mean it IS a small place).

At some point Jess had walked over and introduced himself and told her that I was his wife, I guess (I kinda don't recollect).

Anyhoo.

At the end of the evening, Bobbie was on her 18th, "please dance with me!" so I forced Jess to do it and while I was standing there watching them RSHG comes over to say goodbye.

General chit chat ensues.

Then she says, "well, let me know when you get divorced, because you're hot."

Ummm. No?

So I laugh it off (as I am wont to do) and Bobbie and Jess finish dancing a bit later and we all go outside to smoke.

So I'm standing there and I say, "Ha, I just got hit on!" Jess, of course, asks by who and what she said, sooooooooooooooooo -- and here's my misstep -- I tell him.

Jess immediately turns on his heels and bolts for the door.

For about a milisecond I stand there in shock -- Jess never ever ever ever ever ever ever gets aggressive -- well, fighting aggressive anyway ;)

So I immediately throw myself in his general direction and catch him at the waist and WOW I really had a struggle.

The rest of our friends join in and we manage to pin him into a corner -- then Beck took him outside to talk him down.

Me? I had no idea where he had gone at first so finally I heard he was outside and we all went out where OF COURSE RSHG was nearby leaving w/ her friend.

The whole thing was an out of body experience for me... seriously.

I totally expected Jess to just be like, "what an asshole" and be done w/ it.

Guess I'm never doing THAT again! LOL

Though -- I gotta say -- if it weren't for the ass-kickin' aspect, Jess in "I'ma beat a bitch" mode, was kinda sexy. ;)

Of course, now that he's starting T, them days are about over, huh babe -- the rules they be a'changin! ;)

Anyhoo -- we got home about 3:30am (we went to the diner after the bar) and went to bed... well, that is until we heard Bobbie and Kristie shouting in the hallway.

When we got up to investigate apparently Bobbie's daughter was drunk on the floor. LOL

So we all dragged the girl back and forth between the bed and the toilet a bunch of times and finally she went to bed.

Shit, Friday's portion got long, ok, so...

(¯`·.¤ Saturday ¤.·´¯)

Saturday we got up and got breakfast and took Ashlee (all hungover and puking all the way) and Bobbie to the airport.

Afterwards we went home and took a much needed nap then got ready to go to a pre-op party of one of Jess' friends.

It's amazing how many transmen were in one place. What suprised me was how much all of them seemed to carry one common thread between them.

Like some kind of innocence or maybe longing for something...

I don't know - I'll have to investigate further.

Had a good time.

(¯`·.¤ Sunday ¤.·´¯)

I ATTEMPTED to just veg and recoup from the last several weeks of constant going but Jess badgered me into going out with Beck and Pia (lol -- sorry, guys I REALLY didn't wanna go out -- though now I'm glad we did) and we went to grab a bite to eat and watch that movie The Hangover.

I coulda done w/o that crappy movie but the company was awesome, as usual. :)

And that about rounds out the weekend.

I think. I'm sure I've forgotten somethin' but you catch my drift. :D

I'm not looking forward to this work week.. two bigwigs are gonna be hovering. Pray for me.

Peace out homeys. ;)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-10T08:00:00.001-04:00

I don't know how to let you go.

2009-06-08T09:25:00.005-04:00

"How are you doing with this?"

Is something I'm hearing a lot these days. And the truth is, I am _________.

Fill that in depending on the day.

I'm not going to lie and say I still don't feel like I'm in mourning -- but more often than not I'm really, really OK.

Like I told Jess -- I'm losing a wife and all the trappings having one brings.

But I'm gaining a husband -- and all the heterosexual privilege that having one brings.

We were talking the other day about how I feel about things... well... no... Jess was talking, I was all, "I'm good."

I mentioned how the fear of everything I know changing is just overwhelming right now.

And I said how I didn't even know what the sound of his voice would be.

And I burst into tears.

Typing that brought them back.

I couldn't hold them back. I've been working really hard at shutting off my emotions on this subject and there they were -- forcing their way to the surface.

I didn't even know that his female voice would be missed so much until the flood of tears.

But I know why.

It's always been soothing to me. I can't count how many times I've sent him an IM at work and said, "can I hear you?" and get a phone call.

Or how many times we lay in bed at night in the dark and that voice would lull me to sleep and I'd have to hear the next morning how I fell asleep on him in the middle of a conversation.

Or how many times we'd be driving somewhere in the car and a song would come on and he'd start singing -- no matter what the mood in the car was (we could be in the middle of an argument and he just busts out singing LOL).

Or the sound of my name from those lips.

Or the sing-songy/half-chuckling way he says "baaaaaaaaabeeeeeeeee" when responding to something silly that I say.

Other.

Sounds.

Today I mourn his voice.

C'mon 3:30!

2009-06-05T09:20:00.000-04:00

I. Am. So. Frickin'. Excited.

A) It's Friday (see Darlene, a FRESH post for ya!)

B) Tomorrow morning we're peddlin' our arses to Laguardia and pickin' up Berooni!

WOOT WOOT!!

C) Tomorrow night is an unofficial high school reunion in Port Chester (Melissa, you going??) -- I figured, why the hell not. And apparently -- according to Berooni -- my ex-boyfriend from high school is bringing a bottle of liquor for me and Bobbie...so there ya go. LOL

You KNOW pics will follow -- gawd, I wonder if Yo-honk-ass is going. ::groan::

D) I came in early today so I'm leaving at 3:30!

E) It's Friday. :D

Happy Friday my peeps!

June – LGBTQ Pride Month Contest

2009-06-04T08:00:00.000-04:00

Hi guys -- please get the word out about what's going on here.... and please write a review about the community center Jess and I volunteer for (TCC) for me so that TCC can win this competition!

This is where you will find the review I wrote: http://www.greatnonprofits.org/reviews/triangle-community-center-inc_105195

Which LGBTQ Organizations Are Making a Difference In Your Community? Voting Begins

"Reviews show the real human impact of an organization and raise the visibility and credibility of those nonprofits," says GreatNonprofits CEO Perla Ni. "This will help highly-rated nonprofits attract more support and volunteers."

GreatNonprofits is a nonprofit Web site where people can post reviews of nonprofit organizations, similar to "Yelp" or "TripAdvisor."

Nonprofits with the most positive reviews in their category will be announced as winners and receive national media coverage as well as promotion on GuideStar.org. Awards will be given out of 8 categories (5 geographic US regions and 3 budget size - small, medium and large). Contest Deadline: June 30th.

Plus everyone who writes a review is eligible to win fun prizes such as delicious Alter Eco fair trade chocolate, a subscription to Stanford Social Innovation Review, a getaway at Kimpton hotels (thanks Academic Ambassadors!) and more!

Submit reviews by June 30th at www.greatnonprofits.org/pride.

Here is a sample review for the National Center for Lesbian Rights (http://www.greatnonprofits.org/reviews/national-center-for-lesbian-rights):

"NCLR came to the rescue 8 years ago. My partner and I were kicked out of the San Mateo Community Center Ballroom Dance class for being gay. I never imagined being discriminated in one of the most openly gay place in the world. I realized then you are never safe from discrimination. A friend told me to call NCLR. They provided me with several options. We decided to write the Mayor of San Mateo and the Director of the Community Center of this horrific experience and requested sensitivity training to their staff going forward. To my delight, the Mayor, Director and facilitators sent us letters of apology and informed us they are conducting sensitivity training going forward. From that day on, I have been supporting NCLR with time and money." - Kristina Militante, review on GreatNonprofits

Media Contact:

Shari Ilsen
Shari [dot] Ilsen [at] greatnonprofits.org
Office: 650.234.4766
Cell: 978.621.3396

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-03T08:00:00.001-04:00

Few things...

2009-06-02T08:00:00.000-04:00

1) I'm scheduled for jury duty on July 13th. Which is exactly 3 years to the day that I did it last time. Dag nabbit! LOL - I hope I get a juicy case!! I gotta make sure my electronics are fully charged that day. :)

2) I won 3rd place in that Blog4Reel contest. I won $100. Better than nothin', I suppose. :)

3) T-Minus 5 days until Berooni comes to visit!! Wooooooooooohooooooooooooooo!!

4) Remember when I was all sad that Kristie would miss the Disney Day in Florida b/c of that Marc Jacobs show being scheduled the same day and then she didn't get it so she was able to come? Well, she did, in fact, get it. They just pushed it back a few weeks. :D

She only gets one complimentary ticket (for me, of course!) LOL -- but if anyone else is interested in going to the benefit show, it's $40/ticket. I will post details later. :D Yay!

5) I'm peeling so bad now that I look like I have leprosy.

That is all. :)

Florida

2009-06-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

So, FINALLY I had a chance to blog about Florida!

So after grabbing something to eat...

We all piled in the car...

...at about 8:30 pm on Wednesday the 20th.

The next driver sleeping in the back of the SUV in our make-shift bed...

Though the wee hours were a little tough...

...I'm so glad we decided to drive through the night, b/c we barely hit any traffic all the way down to Jacksonville.

Though, what did we encounter a lot of?

I love this picture. I think it captures our entire trip

RAIN!

Especially the further we went down the eastern seaboard.

We made a pit stop in N. Carolina to visit Bobbie:

Where she and Ashlee made us breakfast:

Which was soooo good! Thanks Berooni!!

And we continued our trek down to Jacksonville...

...and the kids started to lose their minds...

We even made a pit stop at the subject of the most pointless hundred miles of billboards:

We finally arrived in Jacksonville about 5pm (got lost a little bit in N. Carolina - damn road closures). First stop was my cousin Monica's house where her girls were all excited about going to the beach -- even though it was overcast.

So, we obliged them...

Is this an awesome butch/femme pic or what??

Finally, we went to see Puppy!

...and the rest of my Florida family.

The next day we went back and visited them some more then in the late afternoon, our tribe piled back in the car and drove down to Tampa to visit Darlene:

...and her 98 12 cats (hello Claritin!)

So we all joined her and her family for her birthday dinner (happy birthday Darlene!) and had a generally awesome time!

The next day Darlene made us breakfast and we all piled in the car to head over to our surprise for the kids:

A day at Disney!!

Thanks to Darlene and her partner's awesomeness, we scored 4 free tickets! Woot woot!

And what a blast we had...

After we got off the Rockin' Rollercoaster (THE most awesome roller coaster ever!) we were hit with a monsoon -- so we left and headed back to Darlene's house.

On Sunday we said our goodbyes:

Made a pit stop at a farmer's market:

And continued on our way back to Jacksonville to visit the family.

Finally on Monday -- our last day -- the sun came out proper. It. Was. Hot.

Soooooooo we went to the beach of course!

...where all 4 of us got burnt to a crisp (no seriously, it was bad LOL)

Afterwards I got my nose pierced...

...you already saw the video.

About 9 pm, we piled our burnt asses in the family truckster and started making our way back to the northeast.

We had such a jam-packed 5 days in Florida and I loved every single minute of it.

My family was so great to Jess and I already miss them all something wicked:

We're hoping to do the trip again for Thanksgiving. Though, they will be meeting a very different Jess by then. lol

I ♥ my family. :)

Queer Eye Candy: Call for Submissions!

2009-05-29T08:36:00.002-04:00

...a public service announcment of sorts...

“Queer Eye Candy is the on-line family photo album for the queer community.” – Geek Porn Girl

“As a straight woman I do not expect to identify with pictures of lesbians right away, but I do, because love is love, laughter is laughter, and happiness is all the same. Thank you for helping me to see this in a new light.” – Kelly

“After being featured in Queer Eye Candy as a femme, and reading all the comments, it made me feel like it was OK to be feminine again.” – Em the Femme

Queer Eye Candy – www.queereyecandy.com – is a community website dedicated to showcasing visual representations of butches, femmes, and all sorts of other queers. We as genderqueers know what it’s like to be out in the world and treated strangely, questioned (“Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?” “What are you doing, this is the ladies room!” “Don’t you know it’s dyke night, honey?”), or constantly stared at as we navigate through our days. We know what it’s like to feel outcast because of the way we look. But what if more people were more used to seeing us, in the wide variety of representation? What if the thousands of ways that butch and femme are reclaimed and performed were collected, so we could see how much variety exists within these identities?

And so, our mission of visibility was born.

With weekly features such as Wednesday Butch Hump Day, Date Night Thursday, and Femme Friday, Queer Eye Candy showcases all sorts of representation of and from our communities.

But we can’t do it without your participation! Here’s the part where we ask you to send in fabulous photos of yourself, your lover(s), your friends, your family. You do not need to identify as butch or femme to participate, though the project does focus on butches and femmes.

Submit your high quality, work-safe photographs to queereyecandy@gmail.com and go to http://www.queereyecandy.com/submit/ for further information about sending us your photograph. You can also submit photos through the Flickr group at http://www.flickr.com/groups/queereyecandy.

We hope to see your smilin’ face on the site.

Cheers,

Amber, Cheree, Denise, Tina, and Sinclair