My Daily Travels

Ever.....

2013-06-14T23:41:00.001-07:00

Ever feel like your life was not in your control? Like everyone else in your life is calling the shots and your just there to follow the directions given to you?

Ever feel like your just failing no matter how hard you try?

Ever feel like every decision you make is wrong?

Ever stand in a room full of people and still feel alone?

Ever feel like just throwing up your hands and saying I quit?

Ever stop looking toward the future cause you know it's just more of what your already in?

Ever feel like no one gets you?

Ever feel like you just don't belong?

Ever feel like you just can't connect with other people?

Ever feel like no one would miss you?

Ever feel alone?

I do.

Frozen in time

2013-02-15T13:05:00.001-08:00

Well being a truck driver you have a lot of time to sit and think about stuff. Do self reflection If you will.
As I sit here and look at my life it's like looking at pictures frozen in time. Snapshot here. Snapshot there.
Flash of when I was a kid. Swimming with my cousins during the summer. Hanging with my friends in high school. The birth of my first child. The day I got married. First time I climbed in a truck. The day I got divorced. The day I met my gf.

Everything is just snapshots frozen in time. But it's these snapshots that make us who we are. So don't ever lose even one of those or you lose a tiny piece of
who you are.

Friends

2013-01-29T22:33:00.001-08:00

How important are friends? Do people have to have them? What the secrets to making and, more importantly, keeping friends?

I have no answers to the above questions because I for one don't have any friends. Sure I have the occasional person I text a couple words to now and then. Couple people I talk on the phone with every now and then. But I don't have that one or two people that you can tell anything to. That knows your fears, likes, dislikes, favorite pizza, how old you are, and your feelings.

I try to be myself but evidentially that isn't how you make friends. I've been told to not speak my mind so much. Not be judgmental, not have a opinion about everything. Basically not be who I am truly.

I guess if the key to making and keeping friends is to be a mindless drone follower, with no opinion, who doesn't tell anyone what they think, then I guess I'll just stay lonely. Cause I can't stop being who i am. It's the only thing in the end that you truly have to hold onto.

Mistakes

2013-01-29T10:23:00.001-08:00

I hate making mistakes. I seem to do it quite often though. Example: today I overslept and now have to wait all day to get loaded. Which in turn will put me late for my delivery, which makes me late for my service, which makes me late for my next pick up etc etc.
one of these days I will stop making mistakes.......one day..

Fudging a little

2013-01-17T17:37:00.001-08:00

Well the last 2 days have been kinda fun. I've had to "fudge" my log book in order to get my loads done in a timely manner. Had to move this here then move it there and show I'm somewhere else then show that I'm where I'm suppose to be but only at a later time. Yeah this is why being a truck driver is fun. I'm really gonna miss when we go to electronic logs and I can't "fudge it a little."

Year in reflection

2013-01-15T23:40:00.001-08:00

Well almost a year ago my world was torn apart. I lost my wife, my house and my life as I knew it. My wife wanted a divorce. I had failed as husband. I went into a deep depression and tried commuting suicide twice. It was a very very dark time in my life.
Now fast forward a year. I have met a great woman. I have a house (hers but hey I live there). I have a good job that gets me home every weekend so I can be with my kids. I have stopped playing video games (part of my problem was this addiction). I am now family oriented. So I guess maybe the divorce was a blessing in disguise.
Jenny (my gf) has been asking me to marry her since we met. I have dodged the question and avoided the subject at every turn for fear that I will end up like I did last time. Alone and broken.
Well I think it's time to stop dragging my feet and get back on the horse they call life and move onward and upward. Maybe get remarried, maybe start being a little more religious too.
Maybe just start living a little more each day.

Danger load

2013-01-15T04:20:00.001-08:00

Well picked up my load today after it being over 2 hours late due to paperwork. Start heading down the road, look out my mirror to check my reefer indicator light and what do I see but a error. Stop and clear the error but still won't start. Call my maintenance and they send me to a truck stop where the mechanic proceeds to stand there and look at it and say I can't do anything. Thanks bud.
Now here I sit with a load of fresh meat in a trailer with a reefer that won't run. My only saving grace? The wonderfully cold Iowa winter weather. I love this state.

Back at it

2013-01-14T04:35:00.001-08:00

Well I'm back at it. Been away for awhile and decided I missed trucking. I was a shagger, also called spot truck, also called yard dog etc. for a local meat packing plant. Did that for about 6 months. I went through a divorce and had to get off the road for awhile. Well the divorce is all over and done with and I've moved on. Found me a good girl that takes care of me and my kids very well. I'm back trucking with Sharkey transportation out of Quincy, Illinois. Good company. Can't miss our trucks either: big with yellow and green stripes lol. Well I need to nap before getting unloaded. This is only the first in what I think will be the resurrection of this blog. I look forward to getting the thoughts out of my head and out where others can see them.

Missed At Home

2011-11-07T00:53:00.000-08:00

Well I was told some disturbing news yesterday while talking to my mom. I guess she took my kids swimming and while they were swimming my son says to my daughter "lets pretend daddies dead." My mom asked him why he would say such a thing and his response was "Well hes gone on the truck ALL the time. We want him home for 50 days!" This hit home. This hit me hard. If my kids would rather pretend I'm dead then I'm doing something wrong. I know they miss me. I miss them. I hate being away all the time. So I'm not doing 34 hours at home anymore. I'm gonna use my full 2 days off so I can see them as much as possible. I'm sure its hard on them as they don't get to really see my wife either. She gets them up for school, then when school is over takes them to grandmas so she can go to work. They basically don't ever get to see either parent. I need to find a job where I'm home more often. I need a work from home job.

Back On The Road

2011-11-03T22:13:00.000-07:00

Well I am back on the road after being home just 34 hours. It sucks but I figure I gotta make the money. I just found out my cousin is starting to drive for Schneider on Saturday. Good for him. The bad part about it- he got the account I wanted. Its not his fault. Its Schneider. I mean they knew I wanted the spot. Why didn't they offer him this position then give me the option to switch accounts? I mean hes young, no kids, no wife so no real reason he HAS to be home every day. I on the other hand have a wife and 2 kids at home that would love to see me everyday. Totally messed up. If I can find a different job that gets me home everyday I will snatch it up. I mean this isn't all bad being home every week for 2 days but its just the point of the matter.

Self Reflection

2011-11-02T04:03:00.000-07:00

Well being a truck driver you have a lot of time to think. I mean you sit in a truck for 14 hours a day just driving. Its a very lonely life actually. Being alone all the time, every day, night and day. So you have lots of time to reflect on your life. I think about how I have changed through out the years. When I was 14 I swore I would never live to see 18. Well once I hit 18 I swore I'd never see 21. Well I am past all that now. I'm 29 and loving life. I have a beautiful wife and 2 kids at home. They are the only reason I'm out every day driving this truck. If I didn't have them to support and take care of I'd probably not be doing anything. I wouldn't have a reason. So having said all that I'm now upping my time out on the road by a extra day a week. I will now be out for 6 days a week. That extra day out will help them and me out alot. They say money doesn't buy happiness but it sure does make it alot easier to enjoy the other things in life.

Sitting So Close To Home

2011-10-26T01:51:00.000-07:00

Well my day started yesterday at about 1:45pm I picked up my load and hightailed it out of here to my destination in Illinois. Well 5 miles to my destination I hit a HUGE snag- traffic jam on I-290 near Chicago. Bumper to bumper for miles. Took me at least 10 minutes to move the last 5 miles. then when I finally get to my exit I find my turn is bocked on all directions by cars. Cars everywhere. If you have ever driven in or near Chicago you know the drivers can be....unforgiving. Such as I sat through 3 red lights waiting for a chance to turn when I finally gave up and headed back onto the bumper to bumper interstate down to the next exit. Finally made it to Target (right on time I will add) and did the delivery. Once done there I floored my truck )all 64 mph of it) and headed to Rochelle to get my backhaul at Sara Lee. Well long story short I am now out of hours and despite a most awesome attempt at getting home today I have failed. I got to the DC here in Cedar Falls with just minutes to spare so here I sit just 35 miles from home but here I will sit for 10 hours.

Lesson Learned

2011-10-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

Well after almost a year and a half driving I have learned a valuable lesson- when fueling up hold onto the nozzle. I learned this after being blasted in the face with 60 gallons a minute of diesel fuel after the nozzle fell out of the tank. I had my bungee strap holding it in but it just wasnt strong enough I guess. It slipped out and I looked down (dumb) and it proceeded to blast me in the face, along with the inside of my truck, as i had the door open. Diesel fuel in the eyes does not feel good and its very hard to get off. It's very oily. Well i finsihed fueling, came back to the distribution center here in cedar falls, dropped my trailer, and hightailed it back to the truck stop to shower. Mark this down as a lesson learned.

34 hour Restart

2011-10-24T14:53:00.000-07:00

Well i have been sitting at this Flying J since yesterday morning. I had to do a 34 hour reset since ive been out since Tuesday of last week. But I did get to help out a fellow truck driver save $10 bucks since I had a extra shower to give him. I figure I gain like 5 a week and I'm not gonna use them so why not help out a fellow driver? Feels good to help others.

Start of a truckers thoughts

2011-10-24T14:44:00.001-07:00

Well basically I have decided to start a blog about my daily travels on the road. I am a truck driver so I figured I would start writing down my thoughts, travels, and my daily encounters as a way to free up space in my head and maybe provide someone with some entertainment as they read them.