Successful Parenting - Happiness to Chaos

Preparation Tips for Delivery Day

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:09:00 +0000

by Alan Cassidy

Bringing a new baby into the world may seem daunting, especially for first time parents. While parents welcoming their second –third or fourth – baby know how to prepare for delivery day, first time parents may be unfamiliar with what to expect and how to prepare. Therefore, it’s important to give first time parents an idea of what to expect before and during delivery.

Before Delivery

The first thing moms and dads need to do is pack a hospital bag and have it ready to go at a moment’s notice. A full term pregnancy occurs at 37 weeks, which is a good time to get that bag packed, even though the baby’s due date is often more than 3 weeks away; some babies come earlier and it is better to be overly prepared than not prepared enough. Doctors, hospitals and parenting information books have checklists of what to pack for the hospital for the entire family.

The Day of Delivery

On the day of delivery parents need to time labor contractions and write down how long each one lasted, what time it started and what time the next one started. Once a pattern is noticed, the contractions happen closer together and the pain is becoming greater, it is time to call the doctor and head to the hospital. Breathing techniques learned in child birthing classes can come in handy at this time and should be used on the drive to the hospital. In addition, parents should make a final decision as to what to do regarding the baby’s cord blood. Cord blood banking is the process of collecting removing blood the left over blood in the baby’s umbilical cord and storing it for potential future medical use later in life.

Expecting the Unexpected

When a woman envisions her moment of going into labor, it goes something like this: she wakes up in the middle of the night with contractions, excitedly tells her husband it is time and rides off into the sunrise to have her baby. However, labor is usually unexpected and every family needs to plan for the unexpected, such as what to do if mom goes into labor at the store or when her husband is at work or when she cannot get a hold of him on the phone. A back up plan to get to the hospital is mandatory.

Childbirth should not be something women fear because of the unknown; it is an exciting, positive and wonderful day for all new parents. Having a little pre-planning in motion only makes it easier and more enjoyable for all.

This article was written by Alan Cassidy, an active writer within the blogging community covering maternity and childbirth, and always advocating for infant and children’s health. Connect with him on Twitter @ACassidy22

"Sometimes I Don't Like My Child." Great Article

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 18:55:00 +0000

I found this great article and had to share it. I feel like this too often. It is written by D ebbie Pincus, MS LMHC from empoweringparents.com

It’s a truth we don’t often admit, even to ourselves: we don’t always like our kids. I can hear the guilt in parents’ voices when they say, “Sometimes I really don’t like my child. He’s a pain, he argues with me all the time and he’s just not fun to be around.” Or maybe your child just isn’t the person you thought he would be: perhaps he’s not academic or outgoing enough, or maybe he likes to complain and is very negative. It’s important to accept the fact that you won’t always like your kids—and they won’t always like you. This is especially hard for parents of difficult, acting out kids to grapple with. But the fact is, you’re on your way to less guilt and a better relationship with your child when you can acknowledge your feelings.

You can’t change a tiger into a leopard; these are your child’s stripes.

I’m very empathetic to parents in this situation because I recognize how painful it is. It’s important not to feel guilty about it because we all have expectations of what our children will be like, and it can be very painful when they’re not what we expected. You feel let down, and then you feel guilty for feeling that way. But remember, as James Lehman says, you have to learn to “Parent the child you have, not the child you wish you had.” Facing the truth is always an important first step.

The first thing to do is ask yourself, “What am I feeling and why?” Take a minute to pause, step back and think about it for a moment. Maybe you don’t like her because she’s so different from you. Maybe you don’t always like your child because she acts out, is defiant and oppositional and causes havoc in your home. Maybe her behavior is stressing you out and wearing you down and causing friction between you and your spouse. All understandable reasons to feel dislike towards your child. Why would you like someone who treats you poorly, is contrary or behaves in obnoxious ways?

But if you look closely, disliking your child is more about you than about her because these are your feelings—your reactions—to her. And in turn, those reactions may even contribute to your child’s unlikeable behaviors. That’s the good news, since the only person you can change is yourself anyway. Here are a few things that you can do to build the relationship and like your child at least most of the time.

Face your feelings: Acknowledge and accept your feelings. Don’t push them away because you think it’s bad or wrong to dislike your child. You don’t have to like your truth; you just have to own it.

Find the cause: Recognize what’s causing you to dislike your child. If it’s because he’s different from you or because he’s not how you want him to be, then manage your own expectations. Accept your child for who he is and pay attention to his strengths, rather than focusing on what you think are his weaknesses. Remember, it's very easy to forget that it's the behavior you don't like, not the whole person.

Get to know your child better: Get to know who your child is and what he needs; find out what really makes him tick, rather than who you want him to be. Your child can read it if you are disappointed in him; his acting out and negative feelings towards you may even increase because of it.

Are there contributing factors? If you’re feeling dislike because of your child’s defiant behavior, is there any way you or others in your family are contributing to his behavior. Is he acting out other unresolved issues?

Ask yourself the following questions, and answer them honestly:

• Could your child be behaving poorly as a way to keep you and your spouse engaged with each other by focusing on a “problem child”?

• Is his behavior poor because no one is holding him accountable?

• Is he overly or underly focused upon in the family?

• Does he have too much power because you allow yourself to be intimidated by him? Do you always give in or never give in?

• Is your relationship with him defined around problems instead of just enjoying each other?

• Are your frustrations and unresolved issues with your own parents intensifying your reactions and actions with your child?

• Is your child somehow getting caught between your difficulties with your mate?

The importance of playfulness: Bring more playfulness and less seriousness to your interactions. Recognize that your child may be a problem, but he is not the problem: your interactions have been the problem. You’re a part of that, too, so stay focused on changing your role in the dance. Make special dates and times together. Listen to him—really listen. Accept him for who he is. Be yourself with him. Let him know your preferences, beliefs and values. Love him and stop worrying about him so much. And remember, loving him also means holding him accountable.

Anger creates reactivity: Remember that your anger and resentment about feeling disappointed in your child creates more judgments and reactivity. Stop reacting and start responding more thoughtfully and positively. Power struggles often happen when you try to change someone else into who you think they should be. Just let go of the rope in that tug-of-war you're in with your child. Don’t always try to get the last word or prove you’re right. Admit to your mistakes and struggles.

Maximize the positives and minimize the negatives: You can start focusing on what’s right––not wrong––with your child today and begin building on what is good. Having a positive mindset leads to more positives. Build your relationship by letting your child know what you appreciate about him daily. Ask him to help you in things he’s strong in, so you build on his strengths. Spend time together without discussing the problem.

Commit to not criticizing him or trying to change him. One of the things I do is I actually get up in the morning and I really say, “Okay, not one criticism can come out of my mouth today.” I actually have to make that a very conscious thought and activity. It’s so automatic for some of us. And so half the time I really don’t even know when I’m saying something negative. So make a conscious effort.

I think about the concept of appreciation or gratefulness as well, because sometimes I just take so much for granted. After all, in the heat of the moment, it's easy to only see the negatives. But try to find the positives; notice when your child does something well. The more you look through positive lenses, the more you'll appreciate what's in front of you. Point out your child's strengths and describe what you see. For example, you can say, “You looked like you were about to scream at your brother, but I noticed how you pulled yourself together and walked away. How did you do that? That was impressive.” So point out a very specific behavior and move it to positive instead of somehow making it into a negative.

Focus on your reactions: Get more focused on yourself than on your child in order to build and improve your relationship with him. Decide how you want to behave with him, no matter how he behaves with you.

When There’s a Personality Clash with Your Child

What if your personalities simply clash? Maybe your child is not a friend you would have chosen. Perhaps you're too different or too similar. But look at it this way: You might not like your boss, but you still have to find a way to get along with her. Problems start when you carry around a lot of disappointment about somebody and try to change them in some way or another. That's when that negative cycle—that push–pull—begins.

If you decide you want to change how you’ve been reacting, stating it can sometimes be good. You can take responsibility for how you’ve been feeling and dealing with your child up until now and even apologize for some of the ways that you’ve responded to things. Show that you really see and understand it and that you’re working on doing a better job. Kids really appreciate that. I think it’s worthwhile to talk to your teen or child and say something like, “It’s really important to me for us to get along. And I recognize that I haven’t been so easy on you. I recognize that I can be too hard on you sometimes (or whatever the case may be) and I just want you to know that I apologize for my part in it. I’m really working on it.” Leave it at that, and don’t add, “And I hope you do too.”

Just own your part in it. I know it’s very hard for parents to apologize for their part when they really see it as their kids being bratty and obnoxious. And maybe your child is being obnoxious, but don't wait for him to change. Instead, take responsibility to make those interactions different.

You can’t change a tiger into a leopard; these are your child’s stripes. Now get to know him, appreciate him and enjoy his good qualities. Deal with your own issues and anxiety around it. If you absolutely can’t get over it, seek out therapy. Get to the bottom of what’s really bothering you and try to understand and manage your emotions. If you can calm down and come to terms with who your child is–and accept him and not try to change or fix him–then you'll be able to relax. Here's the paradox: if your child can feel deeply accepted for who he is, warts and all, he'll be able to look at himself and change what he isn't satisfied with. That’s when your child can feel good inside of himself–and blossom into the person he’s meant to be.

Why do Kids Say Bad Words

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 15:57:00 +0000

Why children acquire harsh language.

Children begin using words that raise the hair on the back of our necks after they’ve heard others use those words, or after those words have been aimed at them. Grownups use this kind of language when they’re upset, and the behavior trickles down toward children, usually with the original emotional heat welded to the words. Because harsh behavior spreads like a bad cold from adult to child and then from child to child, just about every child on the planet is exposed to name-calling, or bad words behavior, sooner or later. So it's not your child's fault that he has acquired harsh language, any more than it’s his fault that he gets a runny nose.

When children use harsh language, they may not understand what the words mean literally: it’s the tone that makes an imprint on them, and it’s the tone that raises parental warning flags. That electric emotional charge irritates the child's delicate internal system, and makes the words stick like little globs of muck in their innocent minds. Then, when the child is feeling isolated, threatened or upset, out comes this little pre-fabricated routine of harsh words and a harsh tone, just the way he once heard it. It isn't what the child really wants to be doing, but he literally can’t think of any other way to signal that he is feeling badly. He’s upset. His behavior says, "See what I've been exposed to? It's nasty and disturbing. I'm going to show you how awful it is." Then, he gives you a vivid picture of what he’s heard at school or on the street. It’s a cry for help.

Traditional interventions don’t really help.

If you demand that your child stop, and get angry at him for having this difficulty, he may stop out of fear, but the anger and the fear hamper his intelligence. One more experience of harshness makes it even more likely that he will fall into this behavior again soon. Meeting an upset child with harshness just compounds the tension he's under. It's not the best way to go, though generations of parents have given that kind of heated response. The child uses the harsh language silently in his mind, stewing with anger, and it all pops out later, having festered. We’ve all had this experience: “Go ahead. Shut me up now. You’ll pay later,” is the bitter attitude that punishment fosters.

On the other hand, reasoning with a child who's using bad language doesn’t work that well, either. Reasoning can sometimes work to distract a child for a time, but it doesn't address the emotional tension he’s harboring, the tension that sets the stage for the harsh behavior. That’s the real cause of his troubles, and It's that tension that needs to be addressed.

But we definitely do not recommend just letting name-calling behavior go unchecked. It’s frightening to children to have their hurtful behavior ignored, and it wears on everyone in the environment. Some response must be found that honors the goodness of the child, but definitely curbs the harshness.

Start with yourself!

If you react with upset or anger or sudden outbursts, you won’t have much flexibility with your child until you’ve handled your own storehouse of feelings. There are important questions, the answers to which will help you defuse the situation so that you can be of real help to your child.

Find someone who you can ask to listen to you, simply listen, while you talk about what happens inside of you when harsh language is being used. You don’t need advice. You need someone’s supportive and undivided attention while you explore what’s behind the heat that erupts when your child needs help from you.

That heat comes from some tense experience you have carried forward from your own experience. Were you punished harshly for talking that way? Did you see siblings being punished? What kinds of language did your parents use when they became angry? What's your history with the exact word your child is using that triggers a big response from you? These questions are important, and answering them may put you in touch with how you felt as a child, how you were treated, and with the longings for closeness and belonging that you had. A good cry or a good laugh will help you relax.

Try to remember: your child is going to turn out all right! He needs some guidance, but you don't have to worry that a few bad word incidents mean he's on the road to disaster!

Then, observe.

Second (and this may sound odd, but bear with me), observe. When does your child use these words? What kinds of situations? Right when he comes home from school or daycare? When his siblings are playing with his things? Only around a group of children? When you've been busy for the last ten minutes? Fifteen minutes? When he faces a transition? Try to figure out what the situations are that make him feel separate, lonely, or disconnected enough to act harshly. There are clues to places where he loses his confidence in the timing of his behavior. For instance, one child I knew only called names when he came into preschool after a group of children had formed around an activity. Entering the group, he must have felt scared that there wasn’t room for him. So he called his friends names! Once you understand the situations that strain your child’s confidence, try offering support. Here are a couple of ways to do that.

Use Special Time strategically

Try Special Time. It's a very simple but powerful tool, especially when used just before or after challenging situations. For instance, do 10 minutes of Special Time right when you get home at night, if he's using harsh language late in the day. Or if he tends to mouth off by 10 a.m. on Saturday mornings, then start Saturdays with a good 20 minutes of Special Time. Or offer it several times a day, just 5 minutes, if he's targeting his sibling. It can serve to help a child feel more connected, and get reconnected. It's a proactive tool--do it before trouble starts, and see if it helps.

Set limits with warmth and, when you can, with humor.

Special Time won’t erase the use of harsh language, but it will make the limits you set work to help relieve your child’s frightened or aggressive behavior. You need to stop the harsh language, but with good will toward your child. You don't have to pull a serious parental power play every time a child uses a harsh word. You DO need to address that behavior, the very first time it appears. But you don't have to be the bad guy. It works much better if you assume that your child is tender and loving, and is just trapped underneath some unpleasant bad feelings for the moment. To help him get free, try something like one of the following interventions:

• Good naturedly scoop him up in your arms, and say, "Ahhk! I heard that S-word! I heard you say "S-lovely!" Nuzzle him, cuddle him, see if you can get him laughing with the physical affection you offer him.

• Say, "When you say "Stupid!" I say, "Here comes the Stupid sweeper!" Then, be a silly Stupid Sweeper, lumbering around after him with your arms out, in mock fork-lift fashion, attempting to scoop him up in your arms or throw him over your shoulders and bounce him around a bit.

• Say, "Oooh! I'm going to get anybody who says that Stupid word! Here I come!" and chase him around, taking care not to catch him too soon. When you finally succeed, toss him and wrestle him some, affectionately, with warmth.

Why do this? Because your child is signaling that he can't think--the use of harsh language means that he can't feel his connections with anyone in the family. Playing with good humor, getting laughter and affection going, tussling and wrestling and chasing in order to make lively contact without trying to punish, helps a child recover the feeling that it's good to be in the family. Your protest, goofy as it is, sets a model for protesting when he is called names, or when others are called names and you're not there to moderate the action. The laughter and physical play will help him relax, offload the bad feelings he's been carrying, and get oriented to being a cooperative member of the family again. Don’t be surprised if he wants to play “the Stupid Game” over and over again: he can feel the healing action of the laughter and the affection you are offering, and he wants to soak up as much of that as he can. He’s trying to recover from the effects of behavior that has rankled his system. His instincts are good!

Often, a good cry is waiting in the wings for a listener.

If there’s sadness or fear stored underneath his use of harsh language, those feelings will burst forth when you tell him it’s time to stop playing the “Stupid Game,” or when you simply reach over, put your arm around him, and say gently, “I can’t let you say those things to me. What happened to make you want to call me Stupid?”

You don’t always need to respond with humor: sometimes, just moving in, offering eye contact and warmth, and a limit, will help him notice how badly he is feeling underneath. His feelings will make him want to run away, or call you more names, or lash out with fists or feet. Stay nearby, keep him from hurting anyone, and follow him if he leaves. He needs you nearby so that he can feel the possibility of connecting with you. He needs a listener.

When the name-calling happened, he was stunned, and probably frightened. He couldn’t tell anyone how he felt. Now, he has you. Now is the time to pour out the upset and confusion and anger he absorbed. He may aim his upset at you. But if he’s crying, perspiring, or thrashing, your listening is a healing force that’s going to relieve the stored tension that’s behind this behavior. He may not cry right when you stop the name-calling, but find a little excuse five minutes later: his noodles have too much cheese on them, or water has spilled onto his shirt. Don’t quibble with the way he began to cry, no matter how trivial it is. It kicks the door open so he can feel the hurt that throbs and bothers. LISTEN. He's clearing out the emotional roots of the harsh language kick that he's been on. When someone was calling him names, or calling his friends names, he didn't protest, he was too frozen or confused to do so. So now, safe with you, he can finish the protest he would have loved to launch, if he had had support while names were being called.

Listen, be patient, keep directing him gently toward looking again at his cheesy noodles, or at the wet spot on his shirt, but leave lots of time for him to have these big feelings first. He'll get back to functioning when he's finished, and you'll see positive changes in his behavior soon.

When Should You Start Disciplining?

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 20:31:00 +0000

By Kathryn Perrotti Leavitt

A Necessary Action

Whenever my 1-year-old son, Luke, is near rocks, he likes to shovel them into his mouth. And when he sees our cat, he likes to lunge, even though the cat likes to swipe and hiss.

These kinds of moments make up any given day, and figuring out how to shield my son from harm without breaking his spirit usually leaves me totally confused. In my humble experience, getting a toddler to stop eating rocks is easier said than done.

At this tender age, traditional discipline, such as time-out, doesn't work. But what does, and at what age is it appropriate to try which tactics? As you may have guessed, it's as necessary for parents to learn how to discipline properly as it is for children to learn that some behaviors are unsafe or just socially inappropriate.

Ultimately, it's a long process, but when it's done well, it will be a positive experience that will help your child.

The Birth of Discipline

Setting limits, reinforcing good behavior, and discouraging less-desirable behavior can start when your child is a young baby, according to experts. "There are things that even young babies have to learn not to do, such as pulling your hair," says Judith Myers-Walls, PhD, associate professor of child development and family studies at Purdue University in Lafayette, Indiana.

Because little babies have limited language comprehension, memory, and attention spans, the best strategies to employ early on are more about damage control than about teaching an actual lesson. Distracting (helping him move from a not-so-good activity to something better) and ignoring (just what the name implies) are two very effective strategies. If, for example, your 4-month-old discovers how much fun it is to yank your hair, you might gently remove her hand, give it a kiss, and redirect it toward something fun and appropriate, such as a rattle or other toy.

Of course, you never want to ignore a behavior that's potentially dangerous, but looking the other way when your 7-month-old cheerfully pelts his 59th Cheerio from his high chair is a smart move. It's essential to remember that very young children are utterly guileless; your Cheerio pitcher isn't trying to annoy you. He's learning how to control his hands and beginning to understand the concept of cause and effect. As annoying as this behavior is, it's important not to get upset or overreact.

In fact, a recent study found that 39 percent of parents think that their baby is taunting them when he continually changes channels on the remote. Many parents become frustrated when a child engages in such behaviors, says Nancy Samalin, author of Loving Without Spoiling (McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books, 2003). Your best bet is to maintain a calm demeanor and carry on with what you were doing.

8 to 12 Months

When your baby starts to crawl, around the 8-month mark, it's time to think about setting limits. Suddenly everything -- from the knickknacks on your side table to those rolls of toilet paper under the bathroom sink -- are big no-nos.

A child this age only wants to explore (he has no concept of what he should or shouldn't do), so if you don't want him to touch something, place it out of his reach through childproofing and let child-friendly items take center stage. Experts say this is the best way to help your child stay out of trouble and makes it a lot easier to follow the rules.

Of course, many of us merely say no when we catch our little ones getting into mischief. Unfortunately, it's not a reliable discipline method for kids this age. Your child can comprehend by the tone of your voice that "no" means something different from "I love you," but she doesn't understand the real meaning of the word. Furthermore, she doesn't have the self-control to heed your request.

Use other techniques to reinforce the lesson that some things are off-limits, as Cristina Soto of New York City does. "Starting at around 8 or 9 months, every time my daughter Sonia got near an outlet, I'd say 'Aah aaah!' in a playfully scary voice so she'd stop and look at me," says Soto. "I kept doing it. After a while she'd cruise over to an outlet, point, and say, 'Aah aaah!' to me."

12 to 24 Months

Around this age, your child's communication skills are blossoming, so you can start explaining basic rules -- don't pull kitty's tail -- for example. You can also begin using the word no judiciously, in serious situations. Too many could wear out the word and eventually render it completely useless.

Your child's physical skills are coming into full play, too. Your new little walker will likely be thrilled with his freshly minted independence -- and frustrated that he can't do all the things he'd like.

Enter the age of tantrums. While tantrums require a quick response from you, these emotional thunderstorms are a part of growing up and not a cue for harsher discipline techniques, such as taking away a privilege or sending a child to his room.

When tantrums strike, "you need to know your own child," says Claire Lerner, a child development specialist at Zero to Three. Some kids calm down quickly through distraction; others need a hug. But if a tantrum is lengthy, remove your child from the situation and gently explain what's going on ("We can't stay in the store if you continue screaming") until he calms down.

Frustration that stems from your toddler's inability to communicate effectively can lead to hitting or biting, too. Disciplining such scenarios involves telling your child what not to do quickly and simply and redirecting him toward an appropriate activity. For example, if your child hits you because you've interrupted his play for a diaper change, say, "We don't hit, it hurts," and give him a toy he can play with while you diaper him.

24 to 36 Months

The two-year mark ushers in twos' programs, preschool, and play dates, which are great for your child's socialization skills but also present a new set of discipline problems. Sharing -- toys, time, and attention -- is difficult at this age. What complicates matters further is that folks (and kids!) outside your family may end up in the path of a toy-snatching toddler who happens to belong to you.

Toddlers understand easy commands, empathy, and cause and effect, so you can now employ these concepts when you discipline. If your child grabs a crayon from his friend, for example, you can say, "We don't grab toys. Taking Billy's crayon hurts his feelings," and then give him a similar crayon to play with.

A key to disciplining toddlers and preschoolers is to keep things very simple. According to a study conducted by Susan G. O'Leary, PhD, professor of psychology at The State University of New York at Stony Brook, those moms with long reprimands were less effective than those with short and direct ones.

Susan Simmons of South Riding, Virginia, the mother of 2-1/2-year-old Mia, agrees. "When Mia hit 2, I started giving her long explanations as to why she couldn't do something, but I realized she didn't understand. Now when she wants to have an ice pop before dinner, I just say 'You can't have one now,' and leave it at that."

Using Time-Outs

Kids between the ages of 24 to 36 months are also ready for you to try using time-outs. Time-out works like this: When your child misbehaves, for every year of his age, he gets one minute to sit quietly in a chair or in his room to calm himself down (for example, a 3-year-old gets three minutes). He gets up when you say time-out is over.

Of course, every child is different, and no one discipline method will work all the time. But the more practice you get doling it out and the more your child understands boundaries, the happier everyone will be.

Kathryn Perrotti Leavitt, a mother of one, is a freelance writer based in Boulder, Colorado.

Originally published in American Baby magazine, November 2004.

Helping kids get out and get Fresh Air.

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 20:27:00 +0000

The Fresh Air Fund is a not-for-profit agency that provides free summer vacations in the country to New York City children from disadvantaged communities. Each year, thousands of children visit volunteer host families in 13 states from Virginia to Maine and Canada through the Friendly Town Program or attend one of five Fresh Air Fund summer camps. The Fresh Air Fund has helped more than 1.7 million children since 1877.

Thanks to host families who open up their homes for a few weeks each summer, children growing up in New York City’s toughest neighborhoods have experienced the joys of Fresh Air experiences.

If you or someone you know is able to host, please sign up now. In 2010, The Fresh Air Fund's Volunteer Host Family program, called Friendly Town, gave close to 5,000 New York City boys and girls, ages six to 18, free summer experiences in the country and the suburbs. Volunteer host families shared their friendship and homes up to two weeks or more in 13 Northeastern states from Virginia to Maine and Canada.

Thanks to host families who open up their homes for a few weeks each summer, children growing up in New York City’s toughest neighborhoods have experienced the joys of Fresh Air experiences.

How to deal with Kids And Stealing

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Tue, 10 May 2011 19:52:00 +0000

by Teresa, The CuteKid™ Staff

Most children try stealing at least once. How a parent reacts to the kid’s stealing usually determines whether or not the behavior is repeated. Some parents may feel that the item was insignificant and not worth really mentioning. Yet stealing often turns into a habit and as one friend pointed out nobody starts out stealing cars.

When young kids steal they often do not realize that it is wrong. They see an object that
they want and so they take it. It is up to the parent to teach their child that it is not right. If you find that your child has taken something without paying talk about how it is wrong. Take your child back to the store, make them apologize the manager, and return or pay for the item.

By the time children are about six they realize that stealing is wrong. Yet children this age
will still steal items. It may be because they want to see if they can get away with it or are struggling with loneliness or other issues. If you suspect your child stole something confront them directly. This is usually enough to make them tell the truth. Then do the same as you would with a younger child. Make him take responsibility for the stolen item and apologize.

Teenagers usually steal because of peer pressure or they want items that they cannot
afford. If kids are stealing they will usually go directly to their room and hide the object. If your child acts strangely when coming home from the store – investigate. My husband remembers the time when he and a friend stole a bunch of cassettes from a store. They were caught and the police were called. My husband’s mother allowed him to be taken to the police station in the police car. He also not only had to return the items but pay for them as well. Because of the discipline he received he never stole again.

For all children it is important that parents set a good example. Do not steal things yourself. If you find a wallet or money lying on the ground turn it in to the store and see if someone claims it. Once while four-wheeling my husband and I found a tent we turned it into the police department. After two months no one claimed it so it was ours. We can sleep in it without feeling guilty.
If despite your efforts the stealing continues you will need to determine the underlying cause for the stealing. Often a counselor can help your child overcome the desire and habit of stealing.

Top 10 Tips for Family Closeness

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 19:02:00 +0000

* Make family time a priority. Use pen and ink to schedule family time. Pencil can be erased. So often, family time takes a back seat to the business of the day. When you put your family first, you are showing your children that they are important.

* Have meals together. Coming together as a family unit on a regular basis gives you all a chance to catch up with each other. It also allows you to huddle together, and give your family your undivided attention. Turn off the TV, iPods, and don't answer the phone. You can even put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the front door so that friends won't knock (and you keep the neighbors guessing!) Please remember: Mealtime is not the time for reprimands or confrontations.

* Spend one-on-one time with each child. Whether you have one child or many, children like to spend individual time with each parent. So, make a date! The anticipation of time alone can be very exciting. The activity is not nearly as important as knowing they have time coming up to spend with you.alone! Whenever possible, choose an activity that you both have an interest in. If it is difficult to find a shared activity, then child's choice (within reason) should apply. Remember, this is time for your children to have you all to themselves, enjoying your company and sharing their interests with you. One word of caution: don't make a promise if you are not absolutely sure you can keep it.

* Take outings/vacations together. Time away together gives you a chance to leave the daily grind behind and spend time focused on each other. Try to take a little getaway; it can be simple or elaborate; inexpensive or a month's salary. It really doesn't matter. Or how about just running away for the day together and having a picnic, hitting tennis balls, or taking the children out for pizza and a movie?

* Develop traditions and rituals. Family traditions create a sense of belonging and cohesiveness. They can help define your family, sharing customs unique to you and yours. Traditions can center around holidays, ethnicity, cultural or religious practices and life cycle events. Or, make up your own. You can have bedtime rituals, weekend traditions, etc. Schedule a weekly time that all family members need to be present and accounted for. This could be pizza, popcorn and movie night, Sunday brunch, etc. Foster childhood traditions that can be carried into adulthood.

* Create and share memories. Keep a memory box for each child filled with photographs, artwork, school papers, birthday cards, etc. A scrapbook of your child's accomplishments, milestones and successes is a great way to build self-esteem. Share pictures and stories of when you were growing up. Children like to hear 'little mommy' or 'little daddy' stories, as long as they aren't the, "Well, when I was your age" sagas.

* Show an interest in your children's hobbies, etc. Showing interest in your children's activities, even if you wouldn't personally choose them for yourself, is a fabulous way to validate your children and maintain a close bond. So, if they ask you to play or hear all about it, by all means, do so. And appreciate that they want your involvement.

* Attend your children's activities. Nothing conveys love to your children clearer than your presence. Being at their sporting events, concerts, plays, field trips, and so on, will help continue your family closeness. And if all of the members of the family can be there to enjoy each other's endeavors, all the better.

* Delight in your children daily. Find reasons to be glad you're a parent, and share them with your children. Affirmations such as, "I'm so lucky to be your mom," or "You really brighten up my day," are simple ways to let them know that they bring joy to your life.

* Laugh a lot. Building humor into your family routine can make daily life more enjoyable. It might include having everyone tell something funny about their day, a new joke or even something silly they made up. It can be making silly faces (yes, mom and dad, you too), playing a game with mixed up rules or watching a funny video together. When you're laughing together you are usually not arguing!

10 Ways To Build Your Child's Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 18:30:00 +0000

by Teresa, The CuteKid™ Staff
A confident child is sure of his/her abilities, recognizing and accepting both his/her strengths and weaknesses. We all want our children to be confident. But for many children confidence does not come naturally. Confidence must be nutured even for the child who seems confident all ready. Read on for 10 ways to build your child's confidence.

1. Say you are proud Tell your child when they have accomplished something
and you are proud of them. Tell others about your child's accomplishments and positive qualities. Let your child overhear you praising them to others. I often tell others, in front of my son, what a great reader he is and how well he does at math. He thinks he's the best at math in his first grade class. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. The point is that he thinks he is good and that gives him the confidence he needs to keep trying and learn new things.

2. Give responsibility Giving your child jobs to do around the house helps them feel valuable. It also teaches them adult skills. Assign your child chores that they must accomplish everyday. As they complete their chores they will acquire a feeling of self-worth and confidence in their abilities. Have your child help you with the dishes. Even my two-year-old puts her plate in the sink after she is finished eating. My four-year-old loves to help me fold laundry. My six-year-old has to make his bed and keep his room clean. All of my children help me clean up toys. My children also love to help dad wash the cars.

3. Don't label One of the worst things a parent can do is to label their child. Yet it is so easy to do. I found myself often saying in a teasing tone that my youngest child was a "stinker" or "little monster." I realized my labeling was impacting not my daughter but my son when I heard him telling his sister that she was a "monster." As parents we need to be careful that we give our child positive labels that reflect inner personality traits.

Sometimes parents focus on the physical traits of a child. Either saying that they are beautiful or a certain trait is ugly, like having big feet or a nose that is too large. Focusing on our child's physical characteristics whether good or bad teaches them that looks are what matter.

4. Encourage talents Write down all of the things that your child is good at. Then choose one thing that your child wants to pursue. It could be as simple as taking your child to the library each week because they like to and are good at reading. Or you could enroll your child in sports, child dance class, drama, art, or music class. The goal is to provide a positive experience for your child and allow them to excel at something.

5. Listen Let your child know they are important by really listening to them. Get down on eye level and give them your complete attention. If your child feels that you are not listening they will stop talking. They will feel that their opinions and feelings are not valued. And if a child feels that their own parent won't listen to them then they will believe that no one else will want to listen either.

6. Establish routines When you have set routines and a home that is predictable your child will feel more secure. Your child will be less likely to be afraid to venture out into the world when they know they can come home to a secure and loving environment. Having established routines helps your child understand what is expected of them and reach those expectations thus increasing their confidence.

7. Address your child by name Calling your child by name shows that you value them and that you feel that they are important enough to address by name. Using your child's name gives them a label that they can wear proudly. When my son was younger he would go up to people and proudly say, "I'm Tyler." He knew who he was. Children who are confident will address others by their name more frequently. They are unafraid to address others by name and will be better able to ask for help.

8. Play with your child Parents playing with children helps build their self-confidence because it shows them their parents enjoy being with them. Children learn through play and one of the many things they can learn is confidence. Play is a great time to role-play and praise your child. Playing with your child and allowing them to dictate the play gives them a feeling of importance and accomplishment. My girls love to play dolls or have a tea party with mommy and my son likes to pretend to go camping and play board games.

9. Set rules and consequences Children need to have set rules and consequences. This helps them feel valued and secure. A child who is required to follow rules will realize that their parents love them enough to set and enforce rules. Interestingly enough one study found that few teenagers wished their parents had established fewer rules, but many teenagers wished there parents had given more rules.

10. Be a positive mirror How your child perceives herself is based largely upon how you perceive your child. Do you reflect negative or positive images? Does you child know that her opinions matter to you? Does he think that you enjoy being with him? Providing positive reflections of your child helps him feel good about himself. It is also important to help your child realize that you value them because of who they are not just how they perform.

Sit-Down Games

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 21:20:00 +0000

Buy yourself some couch time with these easy games

By Melody Warnick

You need a breather after chasing your child for hours -- but what if she's still raring to go? Buy yourself some couch time with these easy games:
Follow the leader. No marching required! Just have your child imitate upper-body movements, like clapping hands or waving arms. When she gets the hang of it, have her mimic a series of claps, waves, knee slaps, shoulder shrugs, and head nods.
Scavenger hunt. Draw pictures of household objects, like a cup, a hairbrush, and a pillow, then time your kid as she searches for the real things.
Sound off. Do your best impression of an animal ("Woof!") and ask your toddler to guess what you are. Once she gets it right, let her copy your sound, then move on to another animal.
Ball game. Sit on opposite ends of the sofa, then roll a ball between you, naming a new color each time one of you gets the ball. Let your kid chase after it if it falls.
Stick together. Draw a shape on a sticky note and have your child attach it to something that has that shape, like a plate for a circle or a book for a rectangle.
Sock it to me. Hold open an empty laundry bag while your child tries to score baskets using rolled-up socks. Gradually change the size of the bag's opening from large to small to keep the game interesting.
Don't wake the giant. Pretend to sleep while letting your toddler try to steal your blanket without "waking" you. Shift around and snore to build suspense, then roll over with a roar and tickle her silly. The only challenge? Not actually falling asleep.

The Importance of Children Being Active

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 20:03:00 +0000

It's easy to see why kids these days are often too involved with watching television, playing video games or playing on the computer. It's what many of the adults in their lives do as well.

The problem is that children need to engage in active play as a part of their development. It helps build physical, social, intellectual and emotional skills.

It's easy to tell yourself that you're doing well by your child to give access to educational television programs and computer games. There's even some truth to that at appropriate ages. But these cannot take the place of what is learned and accomplished with active play. It's a different kind of learning than what is done on a screen.

Active play builds both large and small motor skills, for example. There's a lot of skill that goes into something eventually as simple as catching a gently tossed ball. Just think how difficult it is for a toddler to play catch at first. But eventually the skill is learned and balls are caught.

Active play also allows children to increase their agility, coordination, balance and overall physical fitness.

7 reasons why you should prioritize children being active -

Activity increases self-confidence and self-belief, an extremely important part of development that will cultivate friendships and leadership qualities
Activity will enhance concentration for learning and understanding new challenges - it keeps the brain fresh
Activity burns body fats for energy, keeping your child fitter and leaner
Activity over a sustained period will develop passions and interests that help maintain a balanced lifestyle for today and into the future
Activity will lessen the chance of health-related disease such as diabetes and skin conditions
Activity with parents will strengthen the bond between child and parent
Activity with parents will help develop a healthy relationship around behavioral patterns and in turn develop a happier, healthier child

If you are not sure what kind of activities to do check out this great article.

PUT DOWN THE CONTROLLER: 15 IDEAS TO GET YOUR CHILD TO PLAY OUTSIDE

Encourage Young Siblings to Share

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 17:34:00 +0000

At this time of year when kids are getting new toys sometimes refereeing is the never-ending game of which toy belongs to whom. These steps can help you spend more time playing and less time blowing the whistle.

Step One Set aside a specific time when you will interact and play with your children. Young children learn and remember best when a parent works with them directly for consistent periods of time.

Step Two Suggest some toys to play with, and help your children get them out.

Step Three Bring the toys to an open area so you all have room to play.

Step Four Establish a positive and constructive play activity while letting your children remain in control of their play. If you want your children to play with blocks instead of climbing on the furniture, start building a tower.

Step Five Monitor your children and their play. Watch for an older sibling teasing a younger one. Keep mental notes of how long a turn one child takes with a toy other siblings want to play with.

Step Six If one child takes a toy from another, give the upset child a toy the other child likes. If she also tries to take away that toy, tell her she must give one of the two toys to the upset child. Explain that sharing is fair.

Step Seven If a child refuses to share toys, place her in a time-out area - a predesignated spot, separate from the play area, where she can be alone, calm down, and get ready to return in a more cooperative mood. She must give the upset child a toy and apologize before returning to play.

Step Eight Praise your child for sharing or helping independently. Say things like, 'What a good sharer you are. Nice manners!'

Step Nine Follow these steps during playtime and use them during the course of the day to reinforce the skill of sharing.

Tips & Warnings

Maintain a calm, neutral tone when explaining how sharing works: 'It is nice manners to share. Look how Tommy gets upset when you take away a toy. Please be nice and share with your brother.'

Try to use positive terms by telling your children what you want them to do instead of telling them what you don't want them to do. For example, say 'Please give Tommy a truck to play with' instead of 'Don't take that away!'

Child Behavior Modification - When To Let It Go

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 20:37:00 +0000

By Colleen Langenfeld

Behavior modification in children is a tremendously useful tool but it is certainly NOT a magic wand. Behavior modification falls under the category of good, old-fashioned hard work.

When a child has worked hard, he needs a break. (Not to be confused with wanting the break before doing the hard work, however.)

Knowing when to let the training go and take a breather and how to do that is a helpful skill to learn as a parent. Let's take a closer look.

- When to let go.

Sometimes a child has genuinely worked very hard on changing her behavior and frankly, she's tired of the whole process.

The key to knowing when to take a breather is knowing your own child. Has she been truly working on what you've asked her to work on?

Are there extenuating circumstances? Extra homework? Feeling sick? Simply going too hard for too long?

You definitely want to have compassion for your child. However, you don't want to be feeling sorry for your child. Do you understand the difference?

Certainly a child needs to be rewarded for working hard on behavior modification issues. An appropriate reward - choosing dinner for the family, getting to play extra with a friend, etc. - can help a child stay motivated on working forward. Always, always catch your kids being good and tell them so!

Likewise, when your child is feeling - and acting - overwhelmed, have a system in place for working towards calm again. It can be a ten-minute hug, time in a quiet place until calm returns, or any other structure that your child and you have decided works, but whatever it is, use it.

The middle of a meltdown or a moment of acting out specifically due to overwhelm is a very important time in behavior modification. That's the moment to show your child how to step back and take a break, but without going out of control. A child has to learn how to handle his distressing feelings and then know what to do afterwards. It's not the moment for pushing harder, but for learning to let go and regroup.

So, when the frustrating moment has passed, sit down together and discuss whatever triggered this incident. Decide right then how to take care of that trigger. If it's homework, it still must be done (make a plan). If an interaction with a sibling was the trigger, relationships must be repaired (make a plan). This has the effect of keeping accountability in the situation while still working with the reality of the moment (i.e. your child had a meltdown).

It also gives a child valuable instruction on what to do next time this situation comes up and of course, it will. That's life. And frankly, those are the moments when change can actually occur, when frustrations come up. Guide your child into seeing that this change is beneficial for him and the more he cooperates, the more the two of you can find solutions that work - together.

Behavior modification in children is a practical approach to helping your child gain self-control through incremental change. You'll need patience (you knew that!), flexibility, a determination to succeed. A sturdy sense of humor doesn't hurt, either.

Your child will be amazed as he learns he is totally capable of handling himself and making changes in his own behavior that benefit him and make his life better.

That's called growing up and every child deserves the best shot at it possible. Colleen Langenfeld has raised 4 kids and can help you enjoy your mothering more at http://www.paintedgold.com. Do you know your child as well as you would like? Get a free report on reconnecting with your kids plus grab more child behavior modification strategies today.

Bedtime Without Struggling

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 20:10:00 +0000

- by Kathryn Kvols and Helen Hall, RN, MSN, CFNP

"Zachary, time for bed." "NO!" Two year old Zachary responds, running toward the playroom. Mother follows close behind, pleading, "It's time for bed, honey. C'mon, now."

"No, Mommy, no!" squeals Zachary as Mother swoops down to pick him up. Zachary's body stiffens, his back arches, and he begins kicking his feet in order to free himself of her tightening grip. Wildly, Zachary kicks his Mother as he struggles to get loose.

"Stop it! You're going to bed, NOW!" Mother declares, not to be outdone by her child's resistant behavior. Zachary begins to cry loudly as Mother, somewhat beaten and greatly exasperated, pulls off his clothes for his impending bath. This emotional and physical power struggle continues through Zachary's bath, pajamas, tooth brushing, and abruptly ends with a token kiss.

Exhausted and frustrated, Mother proceeds down the stairs hopeful for some solitude, only to hear, "Mommmmy, I want a drink. Me go potty!" Feeling guilty and yet, still angry, Mother hurriedly responds with the requested water and a brisk trip to the bathroom. Mother sets him on the bed and says evenly, "Don't let me hear another word. Good night!" Mother stomps down the stairs after slamming his door. Zachary is left huddled on his bed, crying into his pillow and Mother feels guilty and frustrated in front of the television.

Now, look at this same scene through the eyes of the child - in this case Zachary. We parents get accustomed to looking at this scene through our "adult eyes" and miss the opportunity to understand from our child's perspective.

Imagine that you are in the middle of a good book and your spouse says, "It's time for bed." In spite of your response, "No, I'm not ready just yet," you are helped unwillingly up the stairs, your clothes are removed and you are forced into taking a bath. Consider how you are feeling. Are you feeling disrespected, violated, angry, devalued or controlled? You may be thinking, "Yes, but a two-year-old doesn't feel this way - it's not the same, he's not an adult, besides, I'm the parent."

True, the child is not yet an adult. However he IS a person, has feelings and is at an important growth stage of wanting independence and experimenting with how to have his choices be known and honored. This is the beginning of his being an individual - he is establishing his separateness from his parents and is exploring his competence and capabilities.

Many times going to bed is not the issue, he may be tired and ready. Yet the command of being told what to do and when to do it brings up a feeling of being controlled. Isn't it true that this is often our reaction as adults when we are "commanded" in the same way? The issue becomes one of wanting control over ourselves and what happens to us. In this scene with Zachary and Mother, Zachary does not feel understood and it causes the struggle to escalate. Also, as Mother continues to overpower Zachary, he feels unloved and rejected and Mother is left feeling pretty much the same way.

Bedtime can be a special time between children and parents as it is natural for us to desire closeness or connectedness before going to sleep. Often times, however, parents have over-burdened themselves during the day and so they are eager to get the child in bed as soon as possible so they can have some quiet time for themselves. This can cause the child to feel that his parents are trying to "get rid of him." In our bedtime struggle story, Zachary's desire for more closeness is expressed through wanting a drink and "going potty" which results in more tension between he and his mom and both feeling hurt and rejected.

So, consider these questions: What did Zachary want in our story? More importantly, what does your child want?

To declare his independence or sense of self.
To feel close or connected with his parent.
To feel a sense of control over what happens to him.
To feel respected and heard.

How can you, as a parent, give your child what he wants and needs and still have him go to bed in a timely manner?

Respect your needs. Take care of yourself during the day so you are not feeling hassled and frazzled at your child's bedtime. Set your child's bedtime at an hour that allows you some solitude and/or "couple time"with your partner after your child goes to bed.
Whenever possible, have both parents be a part of the bedtime ritual. Bedtime is more fun and less of a burden when both parents participate.
Start your bedtime ritual forty-five minutes to one hour before your child's actual bedtime hour to avoid unnecessary stress and struggle. This process should be a winding down time, in other words, eliminate activities that would excite the child such as rough-housing or tickling.
Respect his sense of time by telling him that bedtime is in 15 minutes, allowing him to complete a particular activity before his actual bedtime hour.
Offer choices instead of orders. Your child will have a feeling of control over what happens to him when given choices. For example, you might say, "Do you want your dad to help you with your bath or me?" Or "Do you want to wear your red pajamas or your blue ones?" Or "Do you want to sleep with your gorilla or your kitty?"
Create a bedtime ritual with your child's help and advice. For example, read a story, snuggle, give three stuffed animals to kiss, give a hug and two kisses and leave the room singing a song. Routine is particularly important from at least 12 months of age through age two. The routine needs to have a quality of sameness or routine -- the same order or the same song -- to provide a sense of security.
Create closeness. For example:

Talk about "Remember When," such as "Remember when we went camping and that raccoon got into our food?" Or "I remember when you were a baby and loved to have your tummy rubbed."
Listen to your child's feeling about the day.
Say three things that you love about eachother. Start each statement with, "What I love about you is..." and complete it with a specific thing that you love. For instance, "What I love about you is the way you helped put your books away today," or "What I love about you is the way your singing can lift my spirits."

Ask the following questions that allow your child to share more about himself:

"What was the best thing that happened to you today?"
"What was the worst thing that happened to you today?"
"What was the silliest thing that happened to you today?"

Some children may talk more freely with the lights out. Try to discover what is most encouraging to your child in enhancing your communication together.
After you have completed your bedtime routine, leave your child's room. Explain to to your child ONCE when you start this new routine, "If you come out of the room for any reason other than emergency, I will lovingly guide or carry you back to your room." "I will not talk to you after saying goodnight and closing the bedroom door."

It is essential that you do not talk to your child after the bedtime routine is complete. Your child will pay more attention to your actions than your words. Further, if you continue to talk to your child, you are more likely to get into a verbal power struggle about going to bed. If you discover yourself saying, "Didn't you hear what I said? I told you to go to bed and I wasn't going to talk anymore!" Stop talking and take loving action by guiding your child back to bed. You may have to guide your child back to his room several times, particularly at the beginning because children will test their parents. However, as the week progresses, bedtime will become more pleasant for both you and your child.

You can make bedtime a time of nurturing, closeness, shared communication and fun. By involving your children in the decision-making process and spending this special time with them, they will feel valued and respected. By setting limits, you will gain the respect of your children and build their self-esteem.

Helen Hall is a pediatric Nurse Practitioner for the FM 1960 Pediatric Center and Learning/Development Center, both inHouston, Texas. Helen also teaches parenting educators through the International Network for Children and Families.

Kathryn Kvols is the president of the International Network for Children and Families and the author of Redirecting Children's Behavior. She is also a national speaker and workshop leader.

Early Childhood Education – More Than Daycare

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 16:32:00 +0000

If you are a single parent who must hold down a job (or, as is the "uniquely American" case oftentimes, two or three jobs) in order to provide for a family, it goes without saying that when it comes to toddlers and pre-schoolers especially, quality daycare is a necessity. But is it enough?

If you are among the fortunate enough to have family members or a neighbor who is willing to look after your very young child while you are on the job – or are able to hire a babysitter – your child is probably missing some important opportunities for intellectual growth. Yes, his/her physical needs for nourishment and protection are certainly being met, and there may be some socialization that occurs in a typical day care center, but many of them neglect learning activities that can stimulate cognitive function and give the child a firm foundation for furthering his/her education later in life.

It Starts On Day One

What happens to a child between birth and age five has a tremendous impact on their performance in school later on, this is a well known fact that Educators have long realized (even if policymakers refuse to acknowledge it). Sadly, although a recent policy decreed that "every child will enter school ready to learn," lawmakers on Capitol Hill were as usual very vague on how this is supposed to happen.

Research has proven that children may start learning even before birth; during the last trimester, the child may benefit from exposure to certain types of music as well as speech. The human brain undergoes rapid growth throughout the preschool years; it is safe to say that what happens to a child during the first five years of life largely shapes the adult s/he will become. At this stage of a child's life, s/he develops his/her basic language skills, a sense of self, his/her place in the group and the role of culture – all the basic tools required to function in a given society.

In short, the preschool years are those in which an elastic, malleable brain is "hardwired."

The Benefits

It has been clearly demonstrated that even one year of attendance at a certified preschool in which young children have opportunities for cognitive development through age-appropriate learning activities (such as educational games and other forms of constructive play) gives a child a tremendous advantage when they enter kindergarten. Such children have superior skills in reading, writing and speaking and mathematics – which are the foundation of every other subject. Additionally, children with a year or more of academic preschool have better social skills and are able to function better in a group setting. The effects of a quality preschool education will last a lifetime – and make it far more likely that the child will succeed as an adult in a Darwinian economic and social system in which every person is for him or herself and the only rule is "survival of the fittest."

Co-written by Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas

Emily and Kathleen are Communications Coordinators for the Atlanta day care facility, a member of the AdvancED® accredited family of Primrose Schools (located in 16 states throughout the U.S.) and part of the network of day care preschools delivering progressive, early childhood, Balanced Learning® curriculum.

My Kids Are Out of Control, HELP!

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 17:59:00 +0000

Are there any other moms out there that can help me with this?

My husband and I work opposite schedules. I work days and he works nights. I leave for work at 7:45 in the morning so my husband gets to do all the getting ready for school and taking the baby and two children to school. I get calls after he drops them off that the kids were fighting and biting all morning. I have them pick out their clothes for school the night before and lay them out. I have to approve them of course. So when my husband tells me that my daughter went to school again in a skirt with shoes that require no socks. I am annoyed at my daughter once again. It is 40 degrees outside and raining. I just told her yesterday she needs to wear socks to school or I will take tickets out of her jar, a reward system we use. When I pick them up from school my husband leaves for work. We barely have a chance to talk. When I ask my husband what he does for discipline he says he separates them and tells them to stop. He does not use any of the positive reinforcement I tell him to use or the reward system I set up.

If they are caught being good they get a ticket. If they do something without being told they get 4 tickets. If we tell them to do something and they do it the first time being asked they get 3 tickets for each time they are asked it is one less ticket. If we have to keep asking they owe tickets. Fighting they have to give a ticket. They can buy things with their tickets. For example, 20 tickets is a Slurpee or an ice cream.

They act a little better for me but do not do what they are told most of the time. I have to ask a bunch of times to get anything done. I feel like I am constantly struggling with them. My 4 year old gets really stubborn and does things on purpose just to make me angrier. My 7 year old just does what she wants. The reward system seems to not work anymore. I wish my husband and I could be consistent with the discipline but we are never together for me to show an example of how it works. I try to explain to him but he doesn't listen fully. I love my kids so much but lately I feel extremely frustrated.

Do You Say "Tomorrow I'll do better", Yet by 8am You're Yelling at Your Children?

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 18:17:00 +0000

by: Jill Darcey

Most parents put their hand up and say, "Yes, me too!" Exhausted from a day of nagging, yelling and demanding your children do things faster, better, or do something at all, you flop into bed and wish for more peace in home. With your head churning, you long for a better way to do things and hope for a little courage so you can try harder tomorrow.

While no parent is exempt from this pressure, it is especially true for those who are in a Complex Family; those who co-parent, or parent beyond separation, divorce, or some form of family breakdown. The Split Family or Broken Home places extreme pressures onto parents, and none more so than the solo parent.

Great parenting is not out of reach, it's not even that difficult — it takes one key element to lift it from mediocre to great. It requires you to be aware, or rephrased as parenting consciously. Be aware of how you handle the day-to-day mundane repetition that is your child's training ground. Every day is simply a progression of tiny moments that are all strung together over the course of 24 hours. If you feel overwhelmed, angry, resentful, or even plain exhausted, it helps to remember that the most important part of your day is right now. It's not what will happen in 10 minutes, half an hour, or even in two hours time; it's not important what has gone before you, previous days, weeks, or even years; it's only important what you decide right in this very moment.

If you get frustrated that your children seem unable to get themselves ready for school on time in the morning, choose how you will handle this repetition instead of continuing with your frustration and emotional outbursts. To yell at them, does little to lead your family in a strong and positive example; instead you reinforce to them the feelings of being out of control and powerlessness. When this becomes a daily ritual in your home, it's not surprising their behaviour will reflect this frustration.

The next time you're about to raise your voice and yell - STOP. Simply take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are the parent and it is your responsibility to lead your family.

As you climb into bed while you hold the wish for greater peace inside your home, take the time to reflect on how you might remind yourself to stop reacting and start responding to every little moment - the ones that are strung together to make up a day.

When you trip up and you hear yourself yelling before 8am in the morning in sheer frustration; don't give up — stop mid-sentence and say to yourself, "Let's try again..." In a calm, strong, and effective tone, continue to remind your children (without nagging) and do nothing more. This conscious choice encourages and empowers you for the next moment, and then the next, and next, and so on.

It helps to have practical solutions and I can give you clever strategies, and plenty of them — some of these are found inside my book — but even the most efficient and effective strategies inside a home can have negative effects if you carry them out while you harbour inner resentment, anger, frustration, or even disengagement from life.

It is most important to understand you first influence your family in every moment through who you are being, then second, through what you are doing. There is no substitute for taking responsibility for your choices in each moment and leading your children to greatness one seemingly insignificant repetitious step after another every day.

Warmest :o)

Jill Darcey

About The Author

Jill Darcey (Author, Parent, Founder & Speaker), a mother of three; thousands of hours in counseling and coaching; and more than a decade of split-family co-parenting. In Jill's book, Parenting with the Ex Factor (http://www.complexfamily.com/book), she works to inspire divorced parents to 'stop drinking poison' and start constructively building the new parenting model. Parenting with an Ex? Receive a free 'Care & Routines' eBooklet today or join Complex Family for free (http://www.complexfamily.com) and receive $330 worth of benefits for free!

SUCCESSFUL PARENTING

The Best Expert Parenting Advice Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:44:00 +0000

Article from parents.com

What your doctor, babysitter, preschool teacher, and all the other pros in your life really wish you knew -- but wouldn't dare say to your face!

Preschool Teacher

Okay, tell us the thing you'd never say to our face. If a parent doesn't follow my directions, I'll assume her child won't either. I give parents specific instructions -- fill out these forms by this date, e-mail instead of calling, don't put candy in your kid's lunch. As soon you break my rules, that creates an immediate bias against your child. And most teachers feel the same way.   Ouch. What else? The six most lethal words to a teacher at the end of class: "Hi! Do you have a minute?" We hate that. Make an appointment. Likewise, don't pretend you're in my classroom to volunteer and then try to use that time to chat about your child's progress.   What's the biggest secret among teachers?  Just as you have a preferred teacher you want for your kid next year, we have preferred students we want for our classrooms. How to become a preferred family? Start each school year by sending your teacher this e-mail: "Please provide me with a wish list of 10 things you would like for your classroom." She'll ask for things like Post-it notes, a chess set, a 50-cent deck of cards. When you spend maybe $20 on these items, it goes through the grapevine that you are here not just for your kid but for the entire class -- that this is the family that cares about the community, whose child is probably a team player too.

Pediatrician

Please speak for all doctors. What is the most annoying thing we parents do?  Overreact to the little ills of childhood. American kids are the healthiest humans who have ever lived. But their parents often fear they're one sniffle away from certain doom. So, please, have confidence that you can handle most of the little throat itches, earaches, goopy eyes, and low fevers your child has. You don't need me; you just need a little chicken soup and love.   But what about medicine?  As much as you want a prescription to fix everything, your kid probably doesn't need antibiotics. For example, 80 percent of ear infections go away without them. It's a dirty little secret of pediatrics that ear infections pay our bills. Doctors are nice, and sometimes we write prescriptions because we want to feel like we're doing something to help, even though you'll be fine without it.   What's another secret?  There's a syndrome called "Sick enough to see the doctor, but well enough for baseball." The kid absolutely must see me on Sunday, but just not until after his game. If your child is well enough for school or practice, he's really not sick enough to see me. On the other hand, if your kid is sick enough to see me, he's probably sick enough to have an adult stay home with him. I can't magically make him well enough to get back to school or daycare.  

Daycare Director

You've seen it all. Your biggest beef?  I call it Rule-Bending Acrobatics. You have 66 reasons why your kid shouldn't have to eat what everyone else does, nap when everyone else does, and should be allowed to wear her princess costume every day. But it's really not good for her to feel like she's special in the group. Everyone has to follow the rules.   What else would you like us to know?  I ain't Grandma. Pick your child up on time. I love her, but I'm overworked and underpaid, and I want to get home too.   Any advice you can't believe that you have to GIVE?  At pickup, get off the cell phone, make eye contact, and say hello nicely. It's a long day for a little kid, and he misses you. Give him all your attention. Say, "Hi, I'm glad to see you. I've missed you today. How are you? What have you been doing?" You'll be rewarded with a kid who's less clingy and whiny all evening.   Runner-up for most obvious advice that isn't listened to...  Quit negotiating! If it's cold outside, don't discuss it with your toddler. Put his jacket on, for goodness' sake!  

Kids' Dentist

Most people don't like going to the dentist. Do kids know that?  You may fear dentists, but there's no need to make your kid be afraid of them. Tell him, "You'll meet some nice people, they'll shine your teeth and count them. They'll have some neat special tools they'll show you. And at the end you'll probably get a sticker!" Don't hold him tight in the waiting room, whispering consolations. Don't call out, "Be brave!" as he walks toward the chair. That makes him think there's something terrible awaiting him.   Don't make promises I may not be able to keep. Don't tell your kid, "The dentist won't take x-rays" or "You won't feel a thing," because it may not be true, and it undermines both parent and dentist. If he asks a question you don't know how to answer, say, "Good question, sweetie. Let's ask the dentist together." Also, it's not funny to joke with kids about having a tooth pulled.   So how should we prepare?  It's fine to read your child books about going to the dentist, but review them alone first. Most of them have at least one really scary picture of a dentist wielding a needle, even though three pages later everyone lives happily ever after. I had an otherwise good dentist book in my waiting room, but it had two pages that talked about yankers and scrapers, so I taped them together.  

Parenting Expert

What's one thing you wouldn't say in one of your books?  Becoming a parent is like contracting a debilitating disease. Imagine a disease where you couldn't sleep, you couldn't have sex, you couldn't travel, you had aches and pains all the time. Now, this doesn't mean you don't love your kids. In fact, the more you love them, the harder it is. Nobody tells you what the pull of loving your kids will do to the rest of your life -- including your relationship with your spouse. Even if you had a relatively healthy sex life before kids, after the second kid it's just kind of done. There's not always as much love to go around.   Let's say you could make one rule that no parent could violate, what would that be?  Don't give your child an annoying name. Especially, do not name your kid after a character in a movie. Nobody wants to end up being named Morpheus because his dad was really into The Matrix. That's just plain idiotic.  

Babysitter

What is the worst thing parents do?  Babysitters hate it when the mom hangs around. For example, when we're having fun and laughing, and you come in to see what we're doing, it spoils the momentum of our play. And if your kid's having a tantrum or being disciplined, don't come in either! It undermines my authority. I know it's hard to hear someone else discipline your child. If my kids were acting up with my sitter, I'd want to go see what the problem was. But trust me, or hire someone you do trust.  

Children's Entertainer

All those kids in one place! Yikes!  It's not the kids who are rude, it's the parents. You expect your kid to be quiet when you take him to adult events. But when you go to a kids' show, you chat loudly with the other adults. You're not showing the respect that you expect from your child. I even had a woman chat on her cell phone during my whole show. Also, don't bring babies who are too young to enjoy the performance. You'll feel torn when they start to cry -- even kids don't want to listen to a sobbing baby.

See more articles at www.parents.com

TWO BOOKS FROM PARENTING POTENTIALS TO SEE THEM CLICK HERE

Top Notch Tips to Getting Top Grades - Principal Parenting Potentials For a Back to School Overview

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 18:32:00 +0000

By Julian Anthony
With the end of summer comes the beginning of a new school year. If you made a promise to yourself that you were going to help your child to excel in Academics this year you are certainly not alone. There are a lot of parents becoming more involved with their children when it comes to education. Also many parents are a lot more involved with the Educational System itself, now more than ever before.

While I believe this to be a good thing it can have the potential to backfire. So here in this article will be a small outline of things that should be considered when probing deeper into your childs' school life.

These are just some helpful hints and an outline of things to consider in order to get the most out of school and education as is possible.

Every parent has high hopes for their child and really wants them to do well in school. It is a busy time for parents and children. When you are busy you can get stressed and anxious. Be aware of your own anxieties and be sensitive about it. Try not to let it get the best of you.

1. Keep the Pressure OFF. Having fun and exploring education in a positive way will keep a positive connection with school and your child. You want to keep your child interested in school in order to get the most out of it. In recent years the overall expectations of school based achievements and grade point averages have skyrocketed. Meaning parents and teachers keep the standards relatively high. Boys tend to be more competitive and girls tend to be more mature but all children share likes and dislikes.

The point being is school should, and needs to be enjoyed as a well liked experience by the child.

As mentioned earlier, we have a much higher standard and expectation rate than ever before. We must be careful not to let this get out of hand. So the most important thing EVER when it comes to keeping your child interested in school is to know when and how to apply the pressure. As well as when not to. Inspire in good spirits.

2. Understanding Strengths and Weaknesses. Continue to be observant and ascertain likes and dislikes. Letting the child make the decisions about what his/her favorite subject is and what they enjoy most. Do not let your influence or standard stereo types of gender or any other assumptions get in the way.

These are limits that children are not affected by and should not be restricted or bothered with. For instance a girl could be interested in fire-trucks or a boy dancing. It can be jolting but just be supportive and understanding.

3. Esteem and Academic Achievement. Keep a list of factors which will influence your child's development and learning capabilities. If your child enjoys something in particular this will usually mean they are good at it. Let them run with it and see where it leads. Once they build esteem through accomplished goals they will take an interest in school all around.

This is the highest goal. The worst thing is getting to a point where the children dislike school and find no joy in it. This is where all the problems rise up. The challenge just to get them to do their home work is very hard when the child just does not want to do it.

4. Motivation and the IMPORTANCE of a Great Morning Send Off. --This is wildly overlooked and underestimated. It is also the most important. When children are not given enough time to thoroughly wake up and eat a great healthy breakfast; they have a %50 disadvantage over one who does. This is very important to the maintaining energy throughout the day and feeling well from the beginning on.

The brain needs nutrients to function properly. Without it you are left feeling sluggish in the morning which means you are more than likely missing out. Studies have proven that this is the SINGLE greatest element to learning and overall performance in school for all children. So breakfast is a must and a big one at that. Healthy too, of course.

5. Structure, Structure, Structure. A child needs an organized life to live in. A strong foundation in which to work. Routine and scheduling helps a child feel safe and confident. They are making decisions for themselves for the first time. They are learning and need confidence.

Plus when things are organized children tend to be more focused. The clean and orderly manner of a schedule helps to keep concepts moving forward with no friction.

Just to help keep things simple, a quick rundown cannot hurt.

1. Be aware of your own anxieties and Keep the pressure off throughout the whole school year.
2. Observe how your child learns and ascertain strengths and weaknesses. Teach them to compensate.
3. Take interest and support your child's interests. Allow them to have fun and keep school enjoyable.
4. The best morning send off is beyond important to them. Great mornings with great breakfasts is a must.
5. Structure, keeping it consistent. A schedule of reviews of how things are going. Knowing your child's school life and environment.

This list could really go on forever but you have some of the most crucial back to school tips to get the most out of an education. These principals work. When you apply these tips to get good grades with your current routine it will have a definite impact and improve your child grades all around.

Does your child hear you explain rules and openly ignores them? Do you worry that when you go out with your child they will throw a tantrum in public? There is a solution and it does not require you to punish your child and damage your relationship. This Happy Child Guide To Discipline program is getting excellent feedback all across the country. Find out how to Raise a misbehaving Child with ease and greatly reduce the stress and anxiety you feel when your child misbehaves.

If you are a parent who is struggling with your child please do not hesitate. You need a plan that can help you in providing discipline and taking the worry out of your day to day life. This is more than just a solution to Behavior Problems Children have, it is an excellent system that will help you and your child with finding discipline without punishment. Deep inside your child really wants to behave.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Julian_Anthony
Successful Parenting

JOIN YourHCG Today!

How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 18:50:00 +0000

I saw this article and wanted to share it. I personally have been dealing with this issue a lot with my 7 and 4 year olds.  

by: Amy Twain

Sibling rivalry is almost common to parents with more than one child. Not only exclusive to young children, sibling rivalry even extends even to children's adulthood.

For the parents, if you hear the fighting and bickering happening, let each child ask what their problem is, and ask each of them to figure out some ideas which can help solve their problem. Give them a chance to share their own ideas on their own. If ever they can't find solutions on their own, offer some of your own which might work. Everyone must agree with the given solution and stick to it--so that there would be change.

If this set up is already being constantly practiced and complied, then it's time the parents should stay out of it. If children come to you to gossip/report about the other, answer them nicely that it's no longer your problem and you believed that they could both generate some solutions to their problems like before.

Even you can obviously tell one child is wrong, try and have that child recognize that for himself; try your best not to take sides with either of them. Sibling rivalry usually happens when the parents do not play fair and seem to pick favorites. Also, taking sides only teaches the child to evade their own problem solving skills when they see that someone older is sticking up for them.

Nevertheless, during those happy times when they play harmoniously together, compliment and praise them for getting along so well. And how about those times when they get to solve problems on their own? Be sure to remind them that you're always proud of them.

Model your behavior as you'd like your kids to emulate you. When you're in a dispute with someone, take note and be careful if your kids are there for they're learning how you deal with the situation.

About The Author

The author of this article, Amy Twain, is a Self Improvement Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Amy recently published a new home study course on how to boost your Self Esteem. Click here to get more info about her Quick-Action Plan for A More Confident You.

STOP SIBLINGS FROM FIGHTING.

12 Keys to Successful Parenting

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 16:34:00 +0000

AN OPEN LETTER FROM EVERY CHILD

DEAR MOM, DAD OR GUARDIAN,

I love you, and I know that you want to be the best parent that you can be. I am very sensitive, and I can feel your warmth, your caring, and your heart's desire to see me happy, healthy and successful in all areas of my life.

I first want to thank you for being my parent; for giving birth to me and providing for my physical needs--food, clothing, and a home. Without you, I wouldn't be able to survive. Thank you for all the wonderful things you do for me. I am pleased and grateful that you are choosing to be there for me

I understand how difficult parenting can be--I did not arrive with instructions. I know that you always do your best with the information that you have. You basically learned how to parent from your parents, and they did from theirs and so on down through the generations. Unless I learn other ways, I'll probably teach my children what you share with me.

To make your job easier and to help you and I reach our goals, I want to give you the gift of telling you what I want and need. With healthy guidelines we can both experience joy, fulfillment, success and harmony.
Thank you for your openness and your love.

The following messages come from my heart:

Please...

1. Understand that I am growing up and changing very fast. It must be difficult to keep pace with me, but please try.

2. Listen to me and give me brief, clear answers to my questions. Then I will keep sharing my thoughts and feelings.

3. Reward me for telling the truth. Then I am not frightened into lying.

4. Tell me when you make mistakes and what you learned from them. That helps me accept that I am okay, even when I blunder.

5. Pay attention to me and spend time with me. That helps me believe that I am important and worthwhile.

6. Do the things you want me to do. Then I have a good, positive model.

7. Comfort me when I'm scared, hurt or sad. That will help me feel I'm okay even when I'm not feeling strong or happy.

8. Take responsibility for all your feelings and actions. That will help me not blame others and take responsibility for my life.

9. Be consistent with me. Then I can trust your words and actions.

10. Communicate what you feel hurt or frightened about when you're angry at me. That will help me feel I'm a good person, and learn how to constructively deal with my feelings.

11. Tell me clearly and specifically what you want. That will help me hear you, and will also know how to communicate my needs in a positive way.

12. Express to me that I'm okay even when my words or behavior may not be. That will help me learn from my mistakes, and have high self-esteem.

Thank you for hearing me. I love you!

(Excerpts from the booklet, e-book, book, "All You Need Is HART" and
Posters "AS I GROW" & "HELP ME GROW")

Kids Birthday Parties

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 17:02:00 +0000

What is Kids Birthday Party Etiquette? Successful parenting is hard when we have to make these kinds of decisions. When your child is invited to a birthday party are you as a parent supposed to stay with your child. Is the parent expecting that? Is the parent thinking it is rude that you are hanging around? I'm sure in some way it depends on the age group? I mean with a bunch of 8 year old children a parent hanging around with each might be a bit much, but with a bunch of 3 year old children parents are handy. So what is the age cut off. I have two kids that are invited to parties at opposite ends of town at about the same time. I obviously cannot be at two places at once and I also do not feel comfortable just leaving my child. I am trying to be a successful pare nt and not keep my kids completely sheltered and allow them a social life, but I also cannot help being a paranoid mom. I am a what if thinker. I think of everything can happen if I am not there. What would you do?

Constant Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 20:19:00 +0000

So often I find my mind going in a million directions. I have so many ideas of topics I would like to write about. Often these ideas come to me while I am lying in bed at 2 am in the morning trying to go to sleep. I think to myself I will remember that. What I need to do is keep a notebook next to my bed so that I can jot these things down. Do you ever find yourself driving and get to your destination and wonder how in the heck did you get there?, because you were just so deep in thought. My brain never shuts off. It is constantly going. If I were talking out loud I swear someone would probably think I was crazy. Just going off in a million directions thinking about one thing that all of a sudden leads to another thing. Being a mom you are constantly thinking about the kids. The things you have to do with them, get done with them, whether or not you are being a good enough mom to them, are spending enough time with them. I sometimes have very little patience. (Something I really am working on) I often end up saying things I end up regretting and end up being really sad and beating myself up over. I do not want my kids to be unhappy. I do not want to yell at them. But for some reason this little twinge happens in my brain and another person comes out of me. Evil mommy. My son likes to egg evil mommy on. I get horrible headaches, almost daily. When I have these headaches whining makes them worse, so then evil mommy comes out more, then there is sad mommy, then regrets mommy. It seems to be an endless cycle. Then I spend a lot of time thinking if I have been a good mom that day and if I have said anything or if my actions that day have permanently damaged my little children.

I love, love, love being a mom. It goes by so fast. I remember when my first was born, almost 7 years ago, people would tell me to enjoy every moment of it because it goes by way to fast. It really truly does. That is one piece of advice I would really tell moms to not take for granted. It is the hardest thing not to do. Life does not stand still it keeps going. Time cannot be stopped. Children keep on growing. Every minute they are another minute older. It is a heartbreaking fact. As much as I would like to turn back time and change certain events and make things better I can’t, all I can do is make the future better. I can’t help but stop and stare at my kids some times and admire the little being they have become. The little individual personalities they each have, the little smiles I receive and the love and happiness that dwell inside of them. It makes EVERY part of motherhood worth it.

Lots of times I find myself just watching them sleep. I still to this day cannot go to sleep till they are all asleep. I check and make sure they are all asleep soundly. I get out of bed a million times to check on them. They are so precious.

FORECAST - Crazy Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Fri, 21 May 2010 19:19:00 +0000

When I used to work at schools and in Sunday school for church. I used to deal with these boys that were totally obnoxious and I used to think I will NEVER have a child like that. That is until my boy came along and turned 4. Please do not get me wrong. He is a good boy. He is a complete sweetheart. But OH MY GOODNESS does he have the most energy ever. My couch cushions get a daily beating. He climbs the walls, literally. He knows what annoys you and likes to push your buttons and laughs every bit of the way.

My 7 month old is my favorite right now. She is excited to see me when I get home from work. She doesn’t yell at me, well except for if I am not feeding her fast enough. I have never heard a baby scream like that. Although even she is going through a faze of not wanting to sleep EVER! And I swear, my oldest is 6 going on 16. She has the total teenager attitude and is so bossy. I often wonder if she is like this now what am I in for in 10 years. She is so dramatic, everything is a big deal. I always pictured myself enjoying parenthood but lately not so much. I am tired and worn out. It is three against one. The one thing that gives me hope is all the comments I read on a recent blog post from one of my favorite blogs to read. Scary Mommy, she posted her kids were driving her crazy and there was about 50 comments from moms saying the same thing. So hopefully it is something in the air, the stars or whatever and this will pass.

You Know You’re a Mom When…

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Thu, 06 May 2010 19:02:00 +0000

Happy Mother's Day!

You Know You’re a Mom When…

…you leave the house with out knowing you have spit up running down your back.

…your kids are in bed and you have a chance to watch some tv and find yourself watching an episode of icarly you have not seen yet.

…you sing “Dora Dora Dora the Explorer” in the shower. 

…you sing to the Elmo CD that is playing on your radio long after you’ve dropped your children off at daycare. 

…you can’t wait to hug your own kids after you see something troubling on the news. 

…you lick your finger to wipe your child’s face.

…you reach into your pocket and pull out a crayon, a matchbox car and a dirty sock. 

…you have no issues sniffing another child’s butt for a poopie diaper. 

…you think yourself lucky to get out of the house without a visible spit-up stain. 

…a packet of crisps (chips), and a diet coke is considered a hearty breakfast. 

…you count the days until your next girl’s night. 

…your purse contains packages of Pepperage farm goldfish, a juice box, assorted wrappers and a binky. 

…you give up your cool car for a minivan, and within a few weeks, you really start to like the van, and use phrases like “It’s just so convenient.”

…you memorize and juggle more schedules and activities than American Airlines, and when people ask you where you live, you say, “In a tan minivan on I-95″ 

…you ask where “the potty” is. 

…you look through family pictures, and realize there aren’t very many of you, because you are always behind the camera. 

… “whine” is no longer simply red or white. 

…when people ask you what you do, you tell them you are a “pediatric logistics specialist”! 

…sleeping in means… sleeping IN the middle of three little bodies!!! 

…you’d rather listen to your 6 year old’s music than your own. 

…when you walk into another room in your house to get something and by the time you get there you forget what you were going to get.

…you hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"  

…you go to sleep with 2 people in bed wake up with three (or four or five:)

….you stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

…you hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.  

…you hide in the bathroom to be alone. 

…your kid throws up and you catch it. 

…someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating. 

…you've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching. 

…you hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats. 

…you can talk on the phone, pack a lunch & breast feed all once. 

…you spend an entire week wearing sweats. 

…you say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

…you get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet . . . you still managed to gain 10 pounds.

…when your toddler hands you a half chewed cookie, full of slobber to eat and you do it!

…you find Goldfish crackers in the glove box of your car.

…you wipe other kids' noses.

…you have caught spit-up in your hand.

…you leave for a date with your husband carrying a diaper bag instead of your purse.

…you have memorized the entire lineup of Saturday morning cartoons.

…you have finally paid for all of your groceries and are heading out of the doors when you realize one of your kids has lost a shoe somewhere in the store.

…you can recite Goodnight Moon and Green Eggs and Ham by heart.

…you silently curse people if they call during naptime.

…you are just as surprised when you sleep through the night as when your child does.

…when you are considered “child’s name’s” mom and not your own name.

…you find yourself humming the "Rubber Duckie" song in the shower.

…you cry at Johnson & Johnson commercials.

…you have considered trading your whole life savings for just one good night of sleep.

…you see your parents in a whole new light.

…you start the car and the volume of the radio blows you through the roof.

…a "girls night" includes 5 giggling 9 year old girls listening to Justin Bieber and watching High School Musical movies (and you're looking forward to it)

…your favorite luxury is to be able to go to the bathroom by yourself (without someone banging on the door).

…your shirt doubles as a tissue.

…you consider parenting be the best job in the world.

…the "5 second rule" becomes a thing of the past & you just wonder when was

the last time you mopped when your child drops food and eats it.

…you know more lyrics to cartoons and kids songs then you do on the top 40's chart

Get Pregnant in 7 Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Parenting Network) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 21:08:00 +0000

DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY ON FERTILITY TREATMENTS - TRY THIS FIRST.

Pregnant In 7 Weeks Is A Complete Guide That Teaches You How To Easily Implement Holistic & Natural Treatments That Will Maximize Your Chances Of Getting Naturally Pregnant In Just 7 Weeks!

Pregnant In 7 Weeks Is Based On The Evaluation Of Various Natural and Holistic Treatments that have worked for thousands of women worldwide, including myself.

This guide not only covers the natural treatment options that you need to be on, but also goes through every single holistic aspect of changes you need to make to your diet, lifestyle and surroundings to maximize your chances of getting naturally pregnant within 7 weeks.

Visit the website Pregnant in 7 weeks to get more information.

Another useful site is Maternity Acupressure.