diary of disastrous dates

Friendship...

2013-05-23T21:43:00.000+01:00

The last time I wrote a blog I apologised profusely for not doing it more often yet here I am yet again making up for lost time. I've been supa busy you see... lots and lots of change in Missy's World.
I'll tell you about that another time though... today I want to talk about Friendship.

Friendship to me is as important as a good relationship... good friends make me happy... very happy... and I am lucky to have the friends I do. They are and have been particularly amazing these past few years and I can't thank them enough for being there when I needed them most.
Sometimes we think of friends as being amazing and when the shit hits the fan they're nowhere to be seen... those are the kind of friends we can all do without... because crap friends... well... they're just crap!!!

My friends will get vetted by THE LIST to some extent... I can't have friends that don't have anything in common with me. I've got different friends for different hang-outs. Drinking friends... laughing friends... dicking about friends... heart-to-heart friends... hockey friends... rugby friends... night in friends... night out friends... sometimes we'll mix it up and do different things but rest assured that my friends mean the absolute world to me. An argument or a break-up will cause me a lot of stress and heartache. The problem is... I'm truly the most stubborn cow and particularly argumentative; my standards are just as high with my friends as they would be for a boyfriend. Piss me off and you'll know about it!

I fell out with two very close friends last year... both fall outs really upset me but like any breakup... you get over it... eventually!

Cast your mind back to my 30th Celebrations... not the fun party... no no that was ace... nope go back to my weekend in Manchester... remember how I didn't really tell you about it? Well it's because it was dreadful!
As you'll know... if you followed me long enough... I wasn't looking forward to turning thirty... not one little bit... the year had maxed out the stress-ometer and I was a woman on the edge. It was another milestone I just wasn't ready to conquer and my birthday certainly became one of those disastrous dates...

I'm not sure I've got the strength to re-live the antics; but 5 girls squashed into the ugliest people carrier heading north on a Friday night a month before Christmas and tensions will be running high even before you add in a reluctant birthday girl and two slightly jet-lagged passengers. Needless to say, none of us have fond memories of that weekend and it proves the strength of my friendships with two in particular because I was an absolute nightmare even without my so-called best-friend being an utter cunt and trying to pin all her bad planning and everyone else's disdain on me.

She was one of the friends to go, the so-called Best-Friend. She dumped me (by facebook) within hours of our return on the Sunday evening following a classy doorstep slanging match after the last party-goer collected their car and headed off. We had both realised that weekend that we were worlds apart and both being incredibly stubborn and hurt (for different reasons) we called time on our friendship. I still to this day am shocked how quickly I got over it; at no point since then have I had the urge to pick up the phone and tell her about something. I didn't worry that she was getting married and no longer had a bridesmaid. I didn't worry about not having her in my life anymore because actually looking back we'd been drifting apart long before the fall-out and it was almost a relief her not being around anymore.

Thirty is that milestone that we all set ourselves... a massive target to have made some serious life achievements and make good choices. I had been doing ok... I had the career... the amazin salary... the flash car... the dreamboat boyfriend... gorgeous house... I even had the Laura Ashley wallpaper in my dining room! Life had been good up to 28...

At 28 life changed... I gave up the career... went back to full-time education and got a part-time job in a supermarket. I traded in my lovely expensive company car and bought a tired yellow £700 Fiat Punto Convertible which I named Pretty Beast Coooor... all of a sudden I had lost 10 years and was a teenager all over again... except at 18 I had been way cooler and even then had a better car!

At 29 my life changed even more... my wonderful dreamboat boyfriend (Z-List) and I broke up and with my tail between my legs and huge amounts of University coursework I packed up my life... left my beautiful home and moved to a cottage literally smack-bang in the middle of arse-raping nowhere.
I found out later that he'd been having an affair... it killed me... really it did... I'm still not over the betrayal and fear I never will be. A hurt like that takes years to get over doesn't it???

To add just a little bit more woe to my story; last summer my darling beautiful dog & best-friend Pablo passed away after a very sudden and quick battle with cancer. Losing him hit me even harder than losing Z-List; suddenly I felt I was completely alone. I was carrying this huge heartache around with me from previous and he had been the best thing in my life and kept me going. Everyday I would look forward to coming home from work and having the evening with my boy. He was my life and suddenly he was gone. I had lost my best friend, the bestest friend ever; a dog rivaled by none.

Anyway, you'll know pretty much the in between stuff (read previous blogs if you don't) because today I'm not here to trawl through the history of it all again. Today is about my friends. As I've said before... I literally have the best friends in the whole actual world. Some are new, some are old but they really are absolutely fuckawesome and bettered by none. They make me who I am today, and despite being a bit of a (hilarious) basket case I 'm actually quite pleased with the Missy of today.

So this is just a little thank you to every single one of my friends for keeping me company, making me laugh, smile, dance & getting me pissed over the past 31 & a bit years. You've kept me together, stopped me falling apart when I was teetering on the edge of insanity and despair. I love you all so very much, I can't begin to tell you all how wonderful you are.

To everyone else... value your friendships... realise how special they are and what an impact they have on you and your life. The good ones really will be bloody amazing when you need them if you treat them well :)

Silent Sunday

2012-05-06T17:04:00.001+01:00

I'm going to 'borrow' the idea my good friend Mamcymraeg has for her blog... On a Sunday she posts just a picture... she calls it Silent Sunday.

I'm aware I seldom blog... I have too much mess going on in my head at the moment to make sense of any of it and produce a blog worthy read... sorry.

So today & for every Sunday here's the start of my (not so) silent Sunday...

The Bullshit Times

2012-04-08T10:30:00.000+01:00

When I fist split with Z-List it was my best friend JD more than anyone else that provided me with the support I needed to get me through daily life. She is an absolute gem. Without her I would undoubtedly be fucked!

I stumbled upon this pearler buried deep in my email inbox this morning and it made me chuckle... I remember how we laughed at this for weeks and how laughter really is the best medicine and she is the best administer of that laughter. I love her and am truly thankful for her friendship.

She wrote this... I have changed only the names and some details that would make anonymity pointless. Enjoy x

The Bullshit Times can exclusively reveal that '***' from Sky1 and Sky3's recently axed 'Road Wars' – has recently allowed his girlfriend of four and half years to move out of their Thatcham love nest to a secluded private location over the border into Hampshire. Rumour within the force, where ****** now works on the Dog Section, would suggest that ***, real name ****** '*******' ******, has been
romantically linked to fellow officer and trollop, ****** '*******' ******. The imaginatively nicknamed duo have been romantically linked as far back as September, however love rat ****** denies any wrong doing claiming there was nothing in it. When confronted with his 30 page 1000 text message mobile phone
bill to the still married mother of two '*******', *** still denied any romantic involvement insisting to Welsh beauty, Missy Welsh, that he was fond of ****** but that she was involved with someone else who was her boyfriend not her husband or the father of her children.

'******' added further insult to injury with a barrage of facebook status updates and overly flirty back and forth comments with the suggestively profile pictured '******' and stooped to new lows of disrespect and disregard for the bilingual lovely Welshs' feelings by revealing a 'relationship' with the despicable ******.

Welsh, now 29, gave up everything and left her small welsh village to be with '***', some four months into their relationship. Testing times followed for Missy as her new love, ******, failed to help her settle in to her then new home and surroundings. Finding friendship and solace in new pals from both work and college, Missy was as committed to making her relationship work as ****** was in ultimately ending it.

So as Welsh born Berkshire beauty Missy moves into the middle of arse raping nowhere, her friends stand united and will watch and wait to see the newly named Daddy ****** try to make the best of a bad-un in serial cheater ****** '*******' *****.

* Z-List
* The Trollop

Making a plan...

2012-04-07T23:57:00.001+01:00

I'm an on/off blogger aren't I. Some days I feel I can write and ramble non-stop... other days I'm barely able to function in the real world let alone write anything of value.

You'll all know of the turmoil I've faced since my split with Z-List... I'm not even sure just how much I've revealed but the gist of it is that he did a bad thing, treated me quite appallingly and it broke my heart.

Fifteen months on and there's still not a day where I've not thought about him. It's not that I love him still... that went a long time ago... but the hurt remains just as raw and it still kills me even now.

There has been a 'Thing' looming and that was my test... how would I cope? Turns out quite well. I've had long enough to prepare myself for it and think out every scenario possible.

He is now a father... the woman that he wasn't having an affair with fell pregnant very quickly into their (official) relationship and now he's got a complete family. She came with two young children from a failed marriage and now they all live (I imagine) happily in their new home having finally moved out of mine.

I should be able to move on... but sadly I can't. I'm stuck in a limbo of distrust and sadness and I have absolutely no idea how to get out of it. The past year has been a bit of a blur... I've given up with my University course... something I worked so very hard for became even harder in reality... it was an incredibly emotional course and sadly I wasn't quite strong enough to deal with it... I'm also financially fucked... so it's back to work and on the payroll... get myself back to the career I thought I'd left behind. The money is good and it'll sustain me at least until I know where I'm going with my life.

I'm desperate to get myself back to being the true Missy... I'm not far off... I'm most definitely getting there... I just need a plan... I like a plan as much as I like a list... I've not made many lists this past year which is quite unlike me... but... I've started making them again and actually crossing things off... the 'TO DO' lists are getting done... I'm on my way back... Hurrah!

So here we go... I've got a couple of days off work... I'm working hard on finding a new job and the hunt is on for a new housemate... I'll be ok... just not today x

I've had a date that wasn't disastrous... I was pleasantly surprised by just how un-disastrous it was and look forward to seeing him again. He'll be a good influence on me I think and that can only be a good thing eh!

The Welsh One

2012-03-28T20:41:00.003+01:00

So you're up to speed now on how things sadly ended with The Bloke. I'm still sad about this... I really liked him and sadly I hadn't realised how much until it was too late. Bugger!

I still text him... more to make a nuisance of myself than anything... I know he won't change his mind and give it another go... but I'm happy to remind him he's a douche and made a rubbish decision.

So what next...? Well... there was a chap that I had been texting on/off from *dodgy fishing site* and without The Bloke or Pilot to think of I agreed to meet him at last.

If you've not guessed from the title of the blog... He's Welsh... what's even more exciting (probably only to me) is that he is also a fluent Welsh speaker... this bumps him up a good few notches up the favourites list because I rarely get to speak to anyone in Welsh these days and having a Welsh boyfriend would've been just super.

That's not going to happen... not with this guy anyway! This is why....

First meet/date.... I drove up to Oxford to meet him... he's very recently had knee surgery and unable to drive so I'm more than willing on this occasion to make the trip to him. He lives on an RAF base somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Oxford. I get there... he meets me in the car park... we have a 30 second 'hello, nice to finally meet you' type greeting and in we go to the security office to have my photo and ID scrutinised and held on RAF database forever before I'm allowed on the base. Bit awkward and weird but I'm funny when under pressure so cracked a few gags had everyone in fits of giggles and BOOM I'm in with everyone...bahahaha!

Turns out he was driving... had a go that morning and did ok but wasn't sure doing anymore than a tour of the base would be a good idea. Not a problem... showing he has a sensible side... going well so far. I follow him back to his barracks... we drop the car off and he gives me a tour of the base... all very interesting... he thought it was a bit nerdy and boring but the chances are I'll never get to see it again so actually I quite enjoyed it.

Anyway... tour done... we hopped back into my car and went off in search of a country pub for a bite to eat and a good get to know you afternoon. Conversation flowed... we had lots in common... he's very handsome... and we're getting on great. Food done... he suggests we go into a nearby village to get a coffee and a wander... we did... again all very lovely... lots of shits and giggles... it's all grand.

He told me 'my' joke which stunned me... a joke I'll tell anyone when there's a duck about and rarely anyone laughs... he told it to me... I'm planning our wedding! I'm not really... that's a little irony I'm throwing in for the punchline later...

Besides being Welsh... handsome and funny... he's BIG into his rugby and we seem to have a huge amount in common. The afternoon was splendid (think hard... when was the last time you heard that word) and I was in no rush to call it a day... we had got as far as holding hands and I could sense he wanted to kiss me but he hadn't tried and I wasn't leaving without a smooch so I invited myself in on the pretence I wanted to know what RAF barracks looked like. Lame as it might be... it worked. To be fair I was quite surprised... it was better accommodation than most University halls and his room was spotless. Winner!

After a bit more chatting... I finally got my snog... seriously felt like a teenager again... in the boy I fancy's bedroom waiting for him to kiss me... again it was all very lovely and he'd started to relax and we're getting on great. I stayed all evening, we just watched TV, chatted and snogged... so very 1996 :) it was lovely.

Couple of days later he's making his way to me and I'm introducing him to my Pooch... it's a big moment in any girls life when she introduces a guy to the dog because if the dog doesn't like you well you've got no chance of seeing me again. So he turns up at mine with a stunning (seriously just stunning) bouquet of hand tied flowers and a bag of doggy chews for Pablo... he's a winner for sure. I really this guy for his manners... they're very important to me... and he's picked up on this.

We had a lovely evening... chatted some more... a few kisses and cwtches and then bed time... he's supposed to be staying in the spare room... I'd rather he stays in with me for a cwtch up. I've no intention of sexing him up... I've not waxed my legs in 6weeks... but a bedtime cwtch I am absolutely loving the idea of. He's a real gent... he's even brought his pyjamas with him... cute! So we do... he doesn't try it on... there's none of that awkwardness where he thinks he's getting a shag and all he's actually getting is a cwtch... he was happy to have a nice cwtch up and some sleepy kisses.

So we're all good so far... sounds blissful doesn't it? Yeah I know... this is where I start counting my chickens... I'm thinking bloody hell... what a lucky girl I am to have met The Bloke, The Pilot and now The Welsh One and all of them be absolutely lovely. Well errr... yeah... there's a saying Missy... and they ain't hatched yet!

Our next meet up is the following Wednesday... I've forgotten that I've already made plans with a friend and we're supposed to be having a girly night and going to the cinema. I tell him Sunday evening that we'll have to re-arrange... he's fine with this but we're both busy every other day of the week so it's going to be Sunday the following week before I get to see him again. I'm a little bit sad about this... a week is a long time... but it can't be helped. We chat on the phone for a bit most nights... text throughout the day and play Draw Something in the evening. It's all good and I'm excited about getting to know this guy.

It all turned very sour on the Wednesday afternoon... I hadn't heard from him all day and whilst I was online checking my messages on *dodgy fishing site* he was online too so I opened up a chat box to say hello and opened with...

Me: Hello you... is your phone broken?

Him: No... why?

Me: Thought it must be 'cos I've not heard from you all day

And just like that... the dream was no more. Talk about take a bit of banter the wrong way... fuck me... he went right off on one... who am I to be keeping tabs on him... i could've phoned him... if this is what I'm always going to be like then he's best calling it a day now... it was amazing... the kinda mentalist reaction you get from the boyfriend you've been seeing for years and actually hate... the one you just can't bring yourself to get rid of... yeah you know the one... he was being just like that... shocker!

I left it until the next day before dropping him a text... thinking after a day to think about what happened he'd accept that his reaction was a little on the mental side... errr seems not... It would appear that I had been pushing things and moving everything too fast... those two meetings where we'd NOT talked about marriage... NOT talked about kids... NOT talked about anything remotely 'in the future' stuff... NOT EVEN HAD SEX... I was rushing it all too much... what a fucking weirdo!

So that was the end of that one... two dates... it seems to be the standard for me... fuck it... I'm not sure if I can be arsed with it all now... we'll see eh! I honestly have no idea why I'm attracting everyone else's share of weirdos but I think it's time they all fuck off and let me find a normo now please...

The Bloke...

2012-03-27T22:55:00.001+01:00

so i haven't blogged for ages again… sorry.

Things have taken a turn for the worse with The Bloke… I didn't see this coming and to be fair I'm quite disappointed.

I introduced him to my best friend on the Saturday… Big day for us all. She… more than anyone else in my life has the most influence on my decisions… other than myself of course! It's important the right impression is made on her… if she doesn't like him… well quite simply he's gone!

Anyway… Saturday… Wales v England… me & JD out in Reading on the smash and The Bloke was meeting us just after KO… he was late… quite a bit late so JD and I were on our way to being a little bit smashed by the time he rocked up.

The Bloke isn't a big drinker… we are… he tried to play catch up... and well... basically we ruined him… destroyed by two girls… not good! We were back in the house by 11pm at the absolute latest… he was sick everywhere… the bathroom looked like a murder scene… he really was in a bad way. Not quite sure what actually finished him off… could've been anything… black, white or raspberry sambuca… the enormous quantities of Jeager Bombs or the pint of Vodka Coke I made him down as the bouncer was escorting us out of the pub for being rude to the barman hahaha! Whatever it was, it seemed to have been the start of the end.

Neither of us were very well on the Sunday... he was clearly a broken man particularly after a day on the Golf course. Me however... I went and did all again with the girls and had a funday Sunday with my ladies. Sunday night was a chilled out relaxed night in and Monday morning was the last I saw of him. He dropped me off at the train station on the way to work and I flew out to Copenhagen that evening for a few days.

He dumped me by text... it wasn't an outright 'you're dumped' text... we'd been chatting about an issue that we had and it turned into 'sorry welshy, but I can't see you again'. Gutted to say the least. We obviously talked about it when I got back but he firmly believes that despite his feelings for me 'the issue' will be a big problem for us and renders us incompatible.

Boo hoo Missy but really? Big deal I hear you all shouting. I've been bleating non-stop for the past year how I'm not ready or wanting a boyfriend... well that's kinda true until I met The Bloke. He made me genuinely smile when I thought about being in a relationship with him. I was happy to tell everyone about this wonderful guy that I'd met and he was my boyfriend (kindof).

I genuinely miss him. We've talked and text a few times since but he's still adamant that despite calling me the funniest and most genuine girl he'd ever met i deserved to have someone who was crazy about me and that just isn't him.

I can't say I'm not disappointed... obviously I am... JD reckons it's because we emasculated him so badly on the Rugby day... I've a fairly good idea he's talking sense and despite being brilliant together we're not compatible for the long haul. Shame.

Back to the drawing board...

It's always the same...

2012-02-24T16:09:00.000+00:00

... the older we get the wiser we get surely? We stop making the same mistakes yah? Apparently not!

I've finally met up with a few chaps now from *dodgy fishing site* and so far so good. There's two that I like... and now... I'm torn... the good & the bad... 'The Bloke'... good... 'or... 'The Pilot'... bad! Why the pilot even gets consideration is baffling me but I'm hooked... and it's bugging me BIG TIME!

He plays a good game... just when I start to question whether he even likes me... he'll drop me a text and start a new game play... Foolishly I'll engage and it starts all over again.

He's affectionate until he remembers he's supposed to be The Cunt and not The Nice Guy... a facade he dons so well. The arrogant drops his guard... you can see he's lovely inside... this is why I like him... he's witty beyond the arrogance and so very very handsome... a smile so cheeky it just makes me giddy. He's the one you chase, knowing full well he'll break your heart...

Ahhh but then there's 'The Bloke'... he brings an instant smile to my face... there is nothing not to like about The Bloke... he's perfect... I like him... I like him a lot... BUT... I don't know what the but is... there's just a but... WHY?
I love being with him... love talking to him... I'll even go as far as admitting I miss him a bit when he's not around. So why put all of that at risk for The Pilot who I'm pretty sure couldn't care less if he never saw me again? Fear of commitment? Maybe! Fear of falling in love and getting hurt? Probably... Most likely... that's how it usually works right? Someone that didn't deserve you last time fucks it up for the good one that comes next? The ex's final legacy to fuck you up forever!

So I have a decision to make... The Pilot is away for the next three months... time to give me and The Bloke enough 'getting to know each other' time to decide exactly where this is going... he's an absolute gem... tomorrow I'm introducing him to my best friend JD and her boyfriend... we're going to get drunk watching the Wales v England rugby match... One Welsh... Three English... A GOOD DAY WILL BE HAD BY ALL :)

The List...

2012-02-17T18:04:00.000+00:00

A friend of mine who is recently single & being fresh back on the dating scene emailed me the other week to share with me his stories of disastrous dates. The dating scene is killing him already. It's a grim place to be... single & dating... even worse... divorced & dating!

You're all fairly up to date with the disaster that is my life and it appears I'm not on my own. Most of my single friends are experiencing the same horror... dates turn up not resembling their profile photos... some are using photos 10yrs old... one turned up to meet Dave with an arse the size of Wales... turns out she'd only uploaded head shots! Some of them are just plain mental... they've had a hard time with an ex and need saving by their new fella... poor Dave... poor singletons.

Desperate measures... cue a bit of organisation... Dave made a list!

The list is fairly comprehensive... he's not left much out... nothing wrong with having standards...

So his list got me to thinking about my list... I have a list... of course I have a list... I have a list for everything... my whole life is about lists... I am ridiculously anal about list making... often I'll write something on my list just so I can have the pleasure of marking it off... mental? Hell yeah!

This list of mine... I wrote it years ago. Long before Z-List and I think maybe even before Fiancee No.2. I think it was after a particularly disastrous encounter with some dodgy 'Monkey Doorman' from Swansea and my mother was fed up with my poor choices in men. My Mammy & I compiled the list together... she typed it up... laminated it & made purse sized copies for all of my friends. Mammy Welsh wants me married off!

And this is my list... compiled at the tender age of 22 maybe 23(ish)...

My requirements have changed somewhat over the years... different priorities now but standards are just the same.

I think it's time to compile a new list... Here goes...

5'11" or Taller... I'll sacrifice my heel collection for nobody
Fit not Fat... You need to be a gym bunny or sports fanatic but do it naturally... Steroid users need not apply
NO Kids... Sorry lads... I'm not budging on this one... I want my own before I play Mam to someone else's.
Only a maximum of 5years older... 6 years younger :)
Table Manners... Don't talk with your mouthful or take food from my plate... I WILL stab you with my fork!
Good Oral Hygiene... It's not hard to brush your gnashers and swig a bit of mouthwash
Personal Hygiene... Shower... Often
Clean shaved... I can't stress the importance of a shaved chest, back, neck, shoulders and man garden... I am totally freaked out by body hair... my phobia will never go away.
Animal Lover... My pooch is my life... I'd be lost without him and the cat... NEVER stick a peg on my cats tail... it makes us both mad!
Drivers Licence and Own Car... I'm not your mum or a taxi service... If you're too dumb or drunk to drive... jog on!
Witty... There's a difference between making a joke and laughing at one... if you're not funny... I'm not interested
Have your own life... Do your own thing... Do it often and give me my space... I don't like cling-ons... Don't be needy... I'm a bitch when I feel smothered.
Confidence... do not confuse this with arrogance... whilst its funny for you to be a cunt on times... tone it down when we're together... DON'T be a twat... nobody likes a twat!
Intelligent... you don't need to have a Masters or PhD but a modicum of intelligence and ability to hold a conversation is desirable... even advantageous.
Ambition... You don't need to be Alan Sugar but have the desire to be the very best in life at all times... if you are driven to succeed you will be successful
Be clued up... know what's going on in the world... read the national paper... watch the news... take an interest... your small insular world is of no interest to anyone but yourself
Don't be shallow or selfish... self-explanatory!
Be honest... Liars have no place in my life... ever
Be a demon in bed... there's always time to play.
Treat me as I treat you... If I've got time for you then you've got a place in my heart... you are loved... don't abuse that... its precious.

So... there you go... the revised Missy's Love Interest Shopping List... what's the chances there's someone out there that fits the bill?

Auditions start week Wednesday... tweet me your CV for consideration

@Missy_Welsh x

Busted!

2012-02-14T13:02:00.000+00:00

So I'm still fishing... just about... they really are a strange bunch of bellends...

Anyway... success has so far been limited as you'll know from my previous blog... I'm staying optimistic tho and I've been chatting to a few more potentials... but last week I got busted good & proper!

I've been chatting a fitty in the RAF that's recently moved to Reading. Friends in the area are limited as is his local knowledge... cue Missy's Travels and a friendly tour of the town centre, and their alcohol filled bars. Just my type... a little hairier than I'd normally go for but there's razors and wax strips that can sort that bad boy out ;)

Sadly... meeting up wasn't as spontaneous as I'd have liked... he had to go away with work for a week or so but we'd agreed to get in touch when he got back and that's how it was left.

In the meantime... I got bored... I'd saved a few fitties into my favourites but hadn't got in touch... feeling a bit cheeky I decided to message one smiler and the banter began... he's gorgeous... beautiful teeth and a really cheeky grin... he's also a pilot in the RAF... the banter was top notch and he oozed arrogance... which made him all the more appealing.

Turns out however... and in hindsight it was glaringly bloody obvious... Pilot and Smiler are friends!!! Not just friends... they're actual fucking flatmates... Oh Jeezus wept... just my luck!

So... where do we go from here? I'm told that the 'Bro Code' rules out a meet... gutted... but totally understood... us girls are just the same... never go with your mates men... they're out of bounds... forever!

We had a few flirty messages back & forth but I was clear that I wasn't going to meet either of them... it's not allowed... EVER!
So I was quite surprised to receive a message a few days later from Smiler telling me he'd chatted to his flatmate and Pilot1 has given Pilot2 the ok... fancy meeting this week?
WTF? Is this a test? They're testing me aren't they? If I say yes... I get blown out by both of them... If I say no... I don't get chance to ever meet either... Fuck it... Test or no test... I want to see those lovely teeth and I want a night on the lash with the smiley pilot. So I said YES... we texted... seriously LOVE this guys banter... he's sooooo incredibly cheeky... and I encouraged it even more... I really like a guy that can play the game... this is the type of guy I've been looking to meet. Hurrah... they do exist and not just in my head!!!

So we meet... both a bit tired from shitty day at work... there's no AMAZING meet & greet... he plays it cool... I think I did too. We went for a few drinks and Smiler doesn't come up for air... He really does like to talk about himself... this guy is the male version of me... and I'm slightly smitten. Tee hee!
Genuinely I don't think we said a nice word to each other all evening... I loved it... just like being out with my friends... I WANT... NEED... TO SEE THIS MAN AGAIN!
His arrogance was overwhelming... he kept me on my toes and he's a filthy little fucker to boot. If I was ready to be chasing down a man for a boyfriend I'd definitely be setting my sights on this one... but I'm not... sad times... can I make him my new best friend? I want this cheeky fucker in my life... he'll make weekends on the lash all the more fun!

Success at last... thank you *dodgy fishing site* :)

Slippery Little F**kers!!!

2012-02-14T12:25:00.001+00:00

It feels like an eternity since I last blogged... Apologies... I think I needed a bit of a break from the laptop and I've had a few 'family' issues that made it essential to make a trip to the motherland.

I'm still fishing and it's all just getting dodgier by the day.

I've part-completed a few blogs so I'm a little out of sync now... I'll try my best to get you back up to speed (in order)...

As of two weeks ago I still had my date with 'Guns' planned and I was supposed to have had a date with a 25yr old Welshman living near *smalltown* but he blew me out at the last minute with some sorry arse excuse. I'm not too sure what's going on but the meeting thing is something that's definitely NOT on these guys agenda. Weird little buggers!

So my date with 'Guns' finally arrived... six weeks of texting and chatting... very excited that we're finally getting to meet... he even phoned me at midnight the night before to tell me how much he was looking forward to meeting me... we talked about what we'd do during the day etc... all good... so WTF went wrong? He didn't turn up... stood me right up and then ignored all calls and texts!
WHY? I'm puzzled... soooo bloody puzzled. Why would anyone put in 6 weeks worth of effort... texting... emailing... chatting... if you had absolutely no intention of ever meeting? If that's all you want to be doing then fuck off to the bloody chat rooms. What's the actual point? I'm on *dodgy fishing site* to meet guys... I don't want to be texting constantly... I've got twitter for that...!!!

So I've been chatting to a few more guys... I persevere... most of them I'm doing it out of politeness rather than fancy. I actually just can't be arsed this week, it's the same old crap in every message...
"Hi, I saw your profile & liked what you'd written. I think we've got loads in common & look forward to hearing from you"
Oh good grief... boring! Something original please lads, it can't be that bloody hard can it?

I've collected plenty of phone numbers... my diary has been booked up every day but they all get cold feet at the absolute last minute. I can't quite work it out... what's going wrong?

I've shown my text conversations to friends... they'll be honest... brutal if needs be... am I being mental...? Do my texts scream 'I'm a psycho...run the fuck away'...? Apparently not! They're full of the usual flirtatious banter... they get back from me what they put in... nothing at all out of the ordinary. So what really is their agenda? I'm stumped... I've had lengthy analytical conversations with my friends... even pulled Brown Bear in on it... in his day he was the biggest player of them all... an expert in the game... even he's flummoxed! Surely the idea is to have a bit of banter... swap numbers... flirt some more... meet... shag... then the ignore is instigated? That's how it worked the last time I was single... granted that was quite some time ago... I jumped from a three year engagement straight into a relationship with Z-List... I had only a month breather between the two... the last time I was fishing for real I was 22/23... times have clearly changed!!!

I'm just about ready to sack off the whole sorry experience... I'm pretty sure that what I've heard about *dodgy fishing site* being a complete shag fest only applies to the folk in Welsh Land and to be fair they're not a picky bunch as a rule... The Southern English are a weird frigid bunch... I'm fed up!

Happy Anniversary...

2012-02-01T08:59:00.001+00:00

It's February 1st 2012... 15 years ago to the day I lost my virginity! Today I am celebrating that because it is exactly half of my lifetime ago & I have been romping like a nympho and loving every randy second of it ever since!

I lost my cherry to the paper boy... my first love! There was a lot of alcohol involved that night & it was freezing cold outside... which is where we were... who said romance is dead?!?!
I remember a lot of fumbling... a whole world of pain... and thinking afterwards that sex might ever so slightly have been overrated!

Not to be put off... I put a plan in motion to try again... I took a day off school (without my folks knowing) and invited PB over to spend some time together.

I love it that he & I remain such good friends to this day because I had forgotten just how comedy gold the day turned out to be.

Last night we were reminiscing of our adventures & it appears his memory is far better than mine.

I remember the finer details... how he made me feel... the excitement of doing something so grown up and it all being so wonderful & all so very secret.

He remembers that he forgot the condoms & I sent him home to get them... and although we lived in the same village it was easily a 10-15minute walk to his from mine. He ran all the way home... too shattered to run back he grabbed his bike and cycled to mine but was then too tired for immediate action. Love him!

I remember having a brilliant time... It became quite addictive and we were at it every opportunity we got... a pair of oversexed randy teenagers!

My Mam was clearly suspicious of our shenanigans... overnight I had developed into a rampaging young woman as opposed to the shy & giggly teenager she had known... We had 'The Chat'... you know the one where she tries to convince you to stay away from boys and tells me sex isn't all it's cracked up to be... Hahaha yeah righto Mammy... WHATEVER!
All I remember thinking at that time was how rubbish my Dad must've been in the sack 'cos I was having a great time!
I'm sure he's not... but I don't really want to give it too much thought... thinking about my 'rents being lusty... urgh!

So let's raise a glass... let's make a toast... to losing your virginity... the most fun I've had in 15years x

Love at first sight...

2012-01-24T16:17:00.000+00:00

I wrote this a while back but didn't have the courage to post it... it's sat in my blog list unpublished for months and months and every day I look at it wondering if today will be the day that I post it. Today is definitely the day...

Have you ever met a man and literally gone completely gaga for him the second you set sight on him? Love at first sight? Maybe.
There have only ever been three men in my entire life that have rendered me speechless.

The first... was a lad from my home town in South Wales... he was tall, strong and beautiful and I fancied him so much. I would just stutter and be a complete mess around him... I never spoke to him... never had the courage. I would literally throw myself to the floor behind the bar when he came into the pub where I worked and avoid any contact with him altogether, he was to be admired from afar. I could never face having my heart broken by a man clearly out of my league.

The second was Z-List... I really did fall in love with him the second our eyes met. It had been a very long & drunken day in Cardiff watching International Rugby but the atmosphere was brilliant and we were all having such an amazing day. I couldn't talk to him, I just stared and when I caught his eye I'd look away hurriedly and blush. Not my style... not my style at all!
My friends were baffled and after an hour or so they intervened Primary School style...
My friend fancies you... She does?... Yeah she does.... Doesn't she have a boyfriend?.... Nope, So you better get in there quick!
And that was it... pushed together in an awkward conversation we quickly hit it off and spent all evening chatting. He walked me back to the train station at the end of the night and the very next weekend he drove back down to Cardiff to take me on a date.
We were inseparable and totally head over heels for each other. Four months later I'd packed in my job, put my house up for sale and moved to Southern England to be with the man of my dreams.
Sadly... and we all know it didn't end well... a little over 4years later we called it a day and I moved to my lovely little cottage in the middle of arse raping nowhere to lick my wounds. I didn't think there would ever be anyone that made me feel the way Z-List did, at least not as quickly as it all happened.

Rambo... Obviously not his real name... was... still is... everything that I want in a man... he's strong... beautiful (in looks and personality)... witty... funny... kind... considerate... the list is endless... He was also my best friends brother... perfect!
You see... in my head... he was the perfect male version of BestieV and I adored her therefore I'd adore him too. Makes sense in my head anyway.

I've been friends with BestieV for about three years... we met through Z-List and her ex boyfriend and bonded over stories of our delinquent dogs and love of Gin. Our friendship went from strength to strength and I counted my blessings to have made such a wonderfully trustworthy, honest and drunken mess of a friend. Someone who really understood that Saturday nights are for getting plastered and mooning the taxi ques when you're just too drunk to order your cheese & chips.

I was finally fortunate enough to meet Rambo at BestieV's 30th Birthday party... I had cheekily been hinting that I was going to make a move on him... I'd seen plenty of Facebook pictures and knew that I fancied him so I was really looking forward to finally getting to see him in the flesh. He wasn't there when I got to the house, he'd popped out to get ice so my guard was down, all of a sudden this man-mountain walks through the door and my legs just went. I disappeared quick as a flash into the living room and was mumbling some incoherent nonsense to my other BestieJD about just how beautiful he was and OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD he's sooo lovely... can't go in there!
All of a sudden I've gone from Sex Bomb to Exploded Bomb, the 15year old insecure me back again and I'm struggling to make any sense of what the hell is going on in my head.

It actually took intervention to get us together... BestieV and her Fiancee had to pull us together for an introduction and a handshake and after a very quickly consumed two pints of Cider I had the courage to start the flirt. It all worked perfectly and I was hooked. The next few days were filled with messages of loveliness and the prospect of having a wonderful few days together before he went back out to sea. I was so ahead of myself I didn't recognise this new me. I was planning every second of his time back in the UK between jobs and looking so very much to being the new girlfriend of the man of my dreams... Dreams I never knew I had!

At this point it's really important to point out to any of you that don't know me that I'm not the marrying kind. I've no desire ever to be someones wife... unlikely I ever will. This is why I've been engaged twice and both engagements haven't got as far as a celebration party. Commitment in the form of submission and a new name isn't my thing... I like my own space... and the older I get the more I crave my own space. Odd seeing as I gave up my singledom so quickly for Z-List and ironic that he's the only boyfriend I was desperate to marry yet never got as far as the others thought they could. This is why Rambo really knocked me for six... he was supposed to be a cheeky fling... nothing more... yet all of a sudden I was happier than I'd been in years and dreaming of being a wife and a mother. WTF? Only one guy has ever made me feel like that and I was still devastated that he wasn't in my life anymore. I knew I was being completely erratic, I knew nothing of Rambo really, I had merely created this perfect person in my head based on BestieV and their obvious similarities. What scared me most was that I could quite obviously put myself in that vulnerable situation yet again to be hurt by someone that doesn't reciprocate the feelings.

Our romance was short lived... turned out (yet again) that there was an ex-girlfriend back on the scene and she wanted her major share of Rambo... OF COURSE SHE DID... HE'S AMAZING!
....Oh and her... early twenties, blonde, petite, stunning... no contest!

So I'm back to dating... not looking for a relationship... just a bit of fun... because I'm safe that way... I won't fall in love again thus minimising the risk of getting hurt like I did with Z-List or Rambo... x

Unleashing the mental...

2012-01-23T23:25:00.000+00:00

Usually I can keep my 'mental' under wraps for at least a month or two, but apparently when it comes to 'TheFitBuilder' it all goes out the window... two weeks I lasted... two bloody weeks!

So this guy messaged me on *dodgy fishing site* a fortnight ago and we've been chatting ever since. We've been texting & chatting and were planning on meeting this weekend for our first date. I'm getting nervous and pretty flippin excited about meeting him but after today I doubt I'll get the chance.

Well done Missy... thumbs up!

So each morning just as my alarm is going off or I'm pulling up outside the gym, regular as clockwork I get my morning text from 'TheFitBuilder' wishing me a Good Morning. I'll send him a reply and then we'll text again around lunch time.

Today, I had a lie in... I didn't wake up until 9.30ish but he had text me first thing as usual and I text him back when I woke.

Later on, say about lunch time I dropped him a text saying the following:
"Right then... As we've now entered the week we're actually going to meet I'm starting to freak out a bit. I don't know anything about you or vice versa. Panic! It's all been a bit cheeky the whole time and a bit odd that I know what your knob looks like before I know what colour eyes you've got. Maybe we should be trying to find out a few things about one another. What ya think?"

By 7.30pm I'd still not heard from him and I'd started to get in a massive flap. To be fair, my iphone hasn't helped the situation today. I had to do a bloody reset on it and load everything back onto it from backup. My signal has been piss poor all day and whilst I've been staring at the screen waiting for a reply all I've seen is NO SERVICE raaaahhhhh!!!

Obviously none of the above is mental... a little weird I may have a photo of his willy but nothing mental. So where's the mental then Miss? Ah well here you go...

I was chatting to my good friend Brown Bear catching up on a couple of weeks worth of goings on and I told him all about TheFitBuilder, the text and the fact he'd not replied. Egged on by Bear I was encouraged to resend the message exactly as it was the first time and then send it again a third time immediately after the second. This obviously ensures that the message is received and... if he did get it the first time he'll then think that the phone has been a bit odd and sent the message lots of times thus releasing me off the hook for being a complete basket case.

I've not heard from him... I don't think I'll hear from him again... I think I've blown it... I'm clearly MENTAL!

Although this behaviour is commonly accepted by my friends... I need to understand and LEARN that it's not understood by strangers.
My friends love me... they've known about and experienced my mental on several occasions and sometimes I think its what they love about me most but apparently its not such an attractive quality in a girlfriend... WEIRD!

So... another potential bites the dust... do I dare log back on to *dodgy fishing site*? Eeesh... not sure I can face it.

I need a new plan!

Matt Cooper...

2012-01-21T06:28:00.001+00:00

Well well well... who'd have thought that *dodgy fishing site* would have the likes of international rugby stars like the adonis Matt Cooper on there? Not me that's for sure.

Now here's the odd thing, he is; or at least there is some idiotic goon posing as him. It's not just photos of the beautiful man-baby but a full on write up about how he's made the move from Australia to London & having given up rugby & retrained to be a hedge fund manager... WTF? Matt Cooper dealing in hedge funds...? He played a good game of rugby & now models his perfect body to earn the dollars. Oh and what a perfect body it is!

It was late at night and I was still awake when I got a message from Matt1979 asking if I wanted to chat. Of course reading through his profile (however beautiful and exciting the prospect of talking to such a GOD) it was fairly obvious immediately that it was an imposter *cries uncontrollably*. I replied but the conversation was short lived and by morning all trace of Matt1979 had vanished. No messages in sent or inbox and no profile to be found. Had I been blocked or did he just bin it for obvious reasons?

Hmmm, sadly my head has been turned yet again to the muscly, tattooed, rugby playing man babies.

Would the real Matt Cooper please step forward...? I think I love you x

Catch of the day

2012-01-11T23:35:00.002+00:00

Well here we go again... another day of catching dodgy fish.

I still haven’t heard from Fitty Rugby Bloke, he is blatantly ignoring me and I’m very confused as to why. I’ve re-read through the messages To & From and there’s absolutely nothing that makes any sense as to why he’s not responded. What a knob! I’m quite a lot gutted *sob*

But let’s not dwell on it for too long... time to move on eh! I’ve told you about ToyBoy, I thought actually I wouldn’t hear from him again. I had expected him to be just the same as HotGuy and Fitty Rugby Bloke but *surprise* he only messaged me first thing this morning suggesting some places. I’m still not going to hold my breath for a meet, I reckon he’ll either go all shy on me like the rest or I’ll get stood up but I’m trying to be optimistic as best I can.

There is also a further progress report... I have swapped numbers with the chap from Essex... he’s enormous... like an actual man mountain... a mountain made of man... I shall name him Guns due to the size of his arms... they are MAHOOSIVE! He’s a real sweetie though, he texts me all day long and says quite lovely things and asks lots of questions and none of it weird or perverse. He seems lovely and actually very genuine, I think I’ll have to step it up and make an actual phone call to him next week just to check he sounds normal and he’s not a complete dim wit. His spelling is good, that’s a start isn’t it?

I’ve ignored the Ginger Bellend, he messaged me again this evening with a polite ‘Hello’ type message but I just wanted to plant my fist through the screen as soon as I saw his red fuzzy face *blocks ScotchEggBalls immediately* I’m still very mad grrrrr!

SHAMLESS PLUG: I’m also quite impressed & touched with the wonderful tweets & Facebook messages I’m getting from you all about how much you enjoy reading my blog. Thank you. I’m pretty sure I’ve rectified the comments issue and you should now be able to leave a comment directly under the blog post, please do leave a comment. I would love to know who reads this besides my friends and hear what you think of it. I’d also really appreciate you telling everyone about my blog and passing the link around for everyone to read. Thank you all, keep reading, keep laughing x

Reeling in the fish....

2012-01-11T01:14:00.003+00:00

Wowzers what a difference a day makes!

Today I uploaded three more photos to my profile and goodness me my Inbox has been full all day. They're not rude or suggestive photos, just me at Reading Festival this summer and one at the races from August when we went to see Tom Jones. The races photo is a bit booby, I let the *girls* out for the day and well it's clear that they attract attention lol

I built up the courage to ask out the Fitty rugby player that I've been chatting to. We were chatting again this afternoon and talking about going to the same rugby game in February so I sent him a message asking him if he wanted to meet and .....................................................
NOTHING! Not a bloody word. WTF? I really don't understand here, am I confusing the purpose of this site? Do men really want to spend hours on end typing fruitlessly to women they don't know online and then not meet them when they have the chance?!?!?!?!?!

So anyway, while I was impatiently waiting for my reply from Fitty Rugby Bloke I messaged another hottie never actually expecting a response, but hey ho would you believe he replied straight back.
I spent an hour or so chatting to him, he made me laugh (alot) and again I found myself with a date invitation... although I'm under no illusions that this is a 'play-date' and not a 'romance date'. He's a cheeky little bugger... 24yrs old and he asked me if he'd be my toy-boy... I suppose he would be really wouldn't he. They all would. I'm going after the youngsters, I think that's part of embracing my Dirty Thirties is to just chase guys younger than me. I've never done that, they've always been older and quite frankly it doesn't work in my favour.

So...I've agreed to meet my ToyBoy...where and when undecided as yet. He lives in Manchester, he's keen to come to *Smalltown* which again I think is a bit weird.
I'll keep you posted how that goes...

In the process of chatting to ToyBoy I received several more messages from a few other potentials. One of them seems a real cutie and we've agreed to meet in a couple of weeks when we've both got a free day. He's not been suggestive or forward at all, was very polite and very sweet so I'm looking forward to meeting this one aswell.

Another that I've been chatting to this evening is not at all my usual type but had something about him that I thought I'd reply and have a little chat...see how it goes.
He's 26 and Ginger...like proper Ginger...he's even got facial hair...I'm massively freaked out by facial hair...but I thought sod it...my best friend loves the Gingers and she's always telling me I should get involved so I did.
Messages were all very polite, bit of banter and then I got this....
Can i just say you look great for your age! No joke I thought you were 23,24. You look great.

Is he fucking real? Like actually for fucking real? Who the hell does he think I am? Nancy Fucking Dellolio? I'm thirty not fucking forty or fifty, four bastard years older than that ginger bearded tosser and I'm being told I look great for my age....FUCK OFF...YOU MASSIVE BELLEND!
I shan't be replying to that one. I'll let him work it out for himself. With a bit of luck someone might smack him in the teeth along the way.

So I'm off to bed now, a bit sweary and ranty but my fingers are crossed for a reply from Fitty Rugby Bloke tomorrow. I'm keen to hear from him, I liked talking to him & would be keen to meet up, but we'll see if that actually works out.

Nighty night folks...sweet dreams...come back tomorrow x

The Early Bird may catch the Worm...

2012-01-09T14:42:00.000+00:00

...but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese!

I messaged a fitty I saw on *FishyWebsite* yesterday and oddly he replied... I say oddly because actually I'm not having that much luck so far. The guys I'm liking aren't liking me back, it's not something I'm used to and if anything has given the 'ol confidence a bit of a knock.
It's a harsh world online dating, I'm still not sure how I feel about it all but we'll see how it goes with the latest fitty before I make a decision.

It sounds promising but then so did the conversation with HotGuy... Can I take you on a date?... yeah ok, when? ... Hello?... Hello?... Where the hell have you gone?
I messaged HotGuy last night... just on the off chance that my message with date plans had got 'lost' in cyberspace but he completely ignored me *stinger*, I won't make that mistake again!

So anyway... back to Fittie... his banter is good and I really fancy him... I'm looking forward to chatting to him again & hopefully we'll get to meet soon. He's BIG into his rugby, not just a fan but also a player and of a bloody good standard too YEY!

Keep your fingers crossed for me, I'm hedging my bets on this one. But if it does all go tits up then at least lets pray for a gentle let down rather than a downright ignore *rude*.

Fish & Cheese

2012-01-08T23:14:00.000+00:00

So fishing & cheese...the two don't really go together but I've experienced the both in huge quantities today.

This site is hilarious, honest to God I don't know where these men are in the real world. Genuinely they're mental or at least the ones that message me.

I had the real fortune of bagging a real winner this morning. This was my message...

I don't imagine a generous 57 year old married man would be of any interest to you for a while.... lol ... or would he

Unsurprisingly I haven't responded but I did have a look at his profile which states in his write-up that he's a travelling businessman looking for a discreet bunk-up and in no way looking for any commitment... Oh yeah and his wife is frigid! I kid you not, it's what it actually said.
Oh dear Lord!

I've not heard anything from HotGuy even tho he's blatantly online... so I guess telling him I wouldn't be staying overnight on our first meeting was definitely what put him off...how odd!

I'm tempted to sack off the whole fishing experience but if nothing else I'm getting a good giggle and it's something to write about.

Enjoy the disaster that is my life... x

Fishing...day.?

2012-01-07T22:01:00.000+00:00

OMIGOD.... I'm not having much luck with this online dating nonsense. Good grief there are some utter scandalous weirdos out there, it's all very worrying.

Since I wrote & posted a profile detailing myself the messages have dwindled somewhat... no surprise really... I think a lot of men are threatened by an attractive woman with a brain. Unfortunately the messages I am getting are still majorly based on looks and you know they've not read a single word I've typed, just had a sneaky pervy peek at my photos and sent me some unimaginative message entitled Hi... yawn!

Some have made me laugh and some have just made me recoil in complete horror.

One guys profile was so full of self-confidence that I messaged him just to see if I fitted the bill as a 'fox'... it appears I do not... sad times!
I'm not surprised though, he likes a girly girl, petite, blonde etc etc. I think a Cider swigging, rugby fanatic would be his worst nightmare hahahaha!

I would have given up by now but there is one guy that's caught my eye... we've been chatting for a couple of days... his banter is good and his pictures show he's a complete fitty... just my type and as an added bonus... he's 6'3" BOOM!

He asked me on a date... kindof... well I'm not sure if he did exactly or if it was some 'down with the kids' gentlemanly way of asking me for a one night stand. It's all so terribly complicated isn't it!

The conversation went a bit like this... (I've cut out the boring bits)...
HotGuy (not his actual user name): So what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a full-time student, youth-worker and I work in a shop
HotGuy: Wow that's impressive... so it's going to be hard to pin you down for a date then?
Me: Well... I'm off Uni until end of Jan so I'm free this month but then it's gets a bit sticky until mid Feb & then Easter. I've obviously got a few days off in between but I work some really crappy shifts so it gets difficult on times to make a plan. I do drive tho... wouldn't actually expect you drive to *small town*... bit far... meet u half-way?
Hot Guy: No, I don't mind driving to yours! I can find a hotel and crash there. Hows that sound? x
Me: Sounds scary... *small town* isn't anything spectacular... U sure u wouldn't like to meet in London or somewhere fun?
HotGuy: Its totally your call! x
Me: I think we would have a more memorable time away from *small town*. I'm worried that you'll drive all this way and not have a very good time. Is it easy for you to get into London? It doesn't have to be London of course, could be anywhere else... just not *small town*.
When are you thinking anyway? Weekday or Weekend? I work Saturdays until 6pm but I'm always off on a Sunday x
HotGuy: Weekend, maybe a Friday? You gonna go home or gonna stay in London? Whens your last train?
Me: (At this point I'm in utter panic)... I work until 8pm on Fridays... told you I worked crappy shifts... sorry :(
I work Thu, Fri & Sat... free all day every other day up to the 30th
Do you mind if I don't stay? My housemate moves out next week so I'm stuck for a dog sitter until I find someone new to move in.
It's all a lot more complicated than it should be, sorry.
If you fancy an evening thing then trains run frequently until late so there's plenty of time and Sunday trains run frequently until late also x

And that's it... not a word since... two days I've been waiting for a reply... he's been online... I can see that much... and it's at this point I remember just how much I despise the dating scene... URGH!

2012-01-06T20:31:00.000+00:00

Today is the 6th of January... It's the start of a new year, new beginings etc etc blah blah blah

It was on January 5th 2011 that I ended my four year relationship with 'Z-List' and how quickly the year has flown by.

I've moved house, completed a college course & started University; I got made redundant from one job and promoted in the other. It's sufficient to say that 2011 was a busy busy year. I kept my head together as best as I could but as the year wound down and I faced the unavoidable turning thirty I quickly went into complete meltdown.

Turns out being thirty isn't that bad... I'm still me... I still get ID'd for alcohol in M&S and I can still drink a truckload on a Saturday night and not die of a hangover all day Sunday... BOOM!

Anyway... one year on here I am. I'm happier than I've been in years... looking pretty good and surrounded by a whole bunch of top friends. 2012 is going to be a cracking year... I can't bloody wait to see what's in-store.

P.S. There may be a date on the cards... turns out there's some dishy fish on that dodgy site afterall. I'll keep you updated x

Happy New Year...

2012-01-01T19:41:00.001+00:00

It's a New Year and in my head that means a fresh start, leaving all the misery and heartache of 2011 behind me and looking forward to a better year.

I went out last night with friends and what a good night it was. My dear lovely friends who are so special to me were the first people I saw this year and that's something I'll remember for such a long time. I can remember every NY celebration so far so I know last night will be banked in the memory for years to come. Thank you Lils & Dave for being such a cracking couple and such fantastic friends.

Here's a toast to my friends, a massive thank you to you all for being so incredibly wonderful and supportive. I have absolutely no idea how I can convey to you just how special you all are to me. Long may our friendship continue into this new year and for many more to come xXx

Fishing...Day 1

2011-12-29T23:54:00.004+00:00

Well today has been yet another one of those days. It was my first day back in work since I finished for Christmas and it was just as rubbish as I’d expected. I really do hate that job. Fast forward to 2 years time when I’m stressing about my dissertation and hey presto...completo & qualified BOOOOM!

Anyway, you don’t care about that and neither do I at the minute; I want to tell you all about my progress on the dating website I mentioned yesterday. I’ve still not written up a profile but at 1.20am this morning I uploaded three photos, they’re not anything special...Me in the pub...me on the sofa with Pablo...me in a restaurant. In 22hours I’ve had 34 Private Messages and 72 Meet Me’s hahaha LOSERS!

Virtually all of the PM’s have a heading of Hi / Hiya / Hello, these guys really are original aren’t they! Most of the PM’s are quite obviously a standard template they send to every unsuspecting girl. Here’s one of the most recent...

“Just had a read of your profile and you sound very nice and seem to be looking for the same things as me.
If you think we could be a match I would love to hear from you.
If not then I wish you luck in your search and have a great 2012”

I’m going to give that one a miss yah!

But here’s one of the first I received and it should make you giggle, it certainly made me laff. I’ve copied it exactly as it was written to me...

‘Hi there How are you? How has your Christmas holiday been? Did you enjoy it?
I like your profile and you look very attractive in your profile picture I have just moved to ******* from Ireland at the end of October and I like it a lot.
My name is Chris’

So....is there any chance I’m actually going to meet anyone with half a brain or is every guy going to be another Mr Fit or Irish Chris?

Wish me luck...I’m definitely going to need it.

Gone Fishing?

2011-12-28T20:06:00.002+00:00

It turned out to be actual flu...no exaggeration I have never felt so flippin poorly in my whole actual life... all thirty *cough* years of it. I had to take a whole week off work which didn’t go down well so close to Christmas, ah well... suck eggs!

Christmas has come & gone, I went back to Wales to see my folks for the festivities. A four day visit quickly turned itself into a two day visit on the basis that as much as I love my folks, I enjoy my personal space and my own bed a whole lot more. There’s only so much Dissarono the Old Girl should drink in one evening and only so much of Downton Abbey that should be aired in one go... seriously that Christmas special took the piss...it was soooooo long.

There needs to be a plan in place for New Year... resolutions etc. I need to get myself organised and get myself back on track. Along with a New Year plan... my friend wants me to get back into the dating scene, more so for her own amusement and a few more blogs of disastrous dates. I’ve gone as far as creating an account online but I just don’t have the energy or enthusiasm to write up a profile for myself.

I’m baffled by the quantity of messages I’m getting from what can only be described as complete desperados. So far my account has nothing...it’s empty...no photos...no descriptions...SWEET F.A.... yet every day I’m getting up to 5messages asking me if they could be the one and do I want to chat...err how about NO...delete & block! Weirdos!

Wish me luck folks...this week I’m going to upload a profile and photos. At least there’ll be plenty for you to read x

Woe is me...

2011-12-10T14:55:00.001+00:00

I'm full of cold... a really bad cold... maybe even verging on flu... there's a strong chance I might die!

A bit over the top? I'm pretty sure I can die from stuff like this so if u don't hear from me in a few days please come look for me.

In the meantime I'm all cwtched up on the sofa with my top boy and hoping tomorrow I'm going to be well enough to crack on with decorating the cottage for Christmas. If I leave it any longer there'll be no point in getting them up. I'm looking forward to getting all the decs up and making my first Christmas in the cottage extra special.

Photos to follow... Fingers crossed it goes well... wish me luck

BIG birthday memoirs...

2011-12-07T23:01:00.001+00:00

Well the BIG birthday has finally passed... It's official... I'm an actual grown up... cue more tears... sad times boo hoo sob sob

For my actual birthday I went away on a surprise weekend away with my best friends and it turned out to be a bit of a disaster. I had high hopes for an amazing weekend away with my girlies, I've been raving about it for months. I understand that doesn't make much sense... the surprise was the destination not that they were whisking me away. I'm far too stressy to have something like that sprung on me!
Anyway...as I said...the weekend didn't quite go as planned and fond memories won't be shared from that weekend.

The weekend just passed however was AMAZIN... absolutely bloody amazin and I had the best time EVER! There was absolutely no mention of the dreaded thirty and my lovely friend Miss Bear outdid herself with decorating the table at the restaurant and her mum made an absolutely AMAZIN cake.

Photos of my drunken antics are yet to be posted on Facebook but apparently I did alot of flirting with Mr Fit in-between swigging double shots of Jeagermeister from my 'Twenty One' engraved shot glass. Oh dear!

I have no recollection of getting home but apparently I pushed the dog off his bed & curled up there nice & comfy for a few hours. Oh dear again!

Sunday was a complete write-off, I was soooo poorly and my hangover was IMMENSE! Dying sooo bad.

I'm now full of cold, feeling really rubbish but absolutely loving the memories of a wonderful birthday weekend

Thanks mates... You made it sooo incredibly special x