Love Bites

I'm Back...

2011-11-30T07:48:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone,

Sorry I have been missing in action... in the past few months I got married and bought a home so I have been busy getting settled in, however I am back and hopefully my posts will be better than ever... I have gotten some great feedback recently and at the request of so many of my readers I will be trying to post at least once a week again.

I am currently accepting topic requests as well...

Happy Reading!

xoxo

Another reason to love Watermelon this summer!!

2011-08-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

Watermelon is a summer favorite, its cool, refreshing, cheap and abundant, but how can it make a difference for you in the bedroom?

According to YourTango.com, "eating watermelon makes your body fluids smell (and taste) delicious". The natural sweetness and the fact that its mostly made up of water works in your favor to give semen, vaginal secretions and saliva a sweet taste and aroma. They recommend that couples who engage in oral sex and enjoy sloppy wet kissing, to share some of the fruit a few hours before lovemaking (or include feeding watermelon into your foreplay) to enhance their sexual experience.

In addition to helping you cool down this summer, watermelon can also "heat things up" as we step into fall. Some other great foods to enhance the "flavor" in the bedroom are strawberries, grapes, oranges, and my personal favorite pineapple.

Fruit Salad anyone?

5 Signs that you need to improve your head game (For the MEN)

2011-08-13T06:49:00.000-07:00

Oral sex is a beautiful thing... Men love it, women love it, but not everyone is good at it. There was a time when oral sex was considered to be very taboo, and although it is widely accepted today, its still considered to be a special treat to some. For this reason when someone decides to give us "head" we are gracious, whether we are enjoying it or not.

Cunnilingus (oral sex on a woman) is a lot harder than it looks, the anatomy is complex and every woman is different (for tips on "Eating Out" see my tutorial here), and the worst part is that women will seldom come out and tell their partner that they are not enjoying it. Here are some tips for the guys to decode the female "getting head" behavior:

1. "I don't like head" - This is the number one line that a woman will use when a man is giving her crappy head. The truth is, WE ALL LIKE HEAD (well every woman I know). Head is great when its done right, but nothing is more boring than bad head. This line is an easy escape.

2. "Hurry up and put it in" / "I want you NOW" - This should be read as "I am bored, lets skip this part and move onto something you're better at. Women enjoy the tease, foreplay, and climax of oral sex just like men do, unless its not good. If she rushes you to actual intercourse, she is bored and is hoping that you're better at the rest.

3. She Dry - If you are giving a woman head, and she is enjoying it, she will be soaking wet, in preparation for intercourse, if she is dry you have a big problem on your hands. It just might be time to reevaluate you technique.

4. She cums way to fast - Getting bad head is so boring that women often try to fake an orgasm to speed the process up. Lots of women can climax from oral sex, but its a process, usually a long one. If she is screaming and praising god and your mouth isn't even a little tired yet, then she just wants it to be over.

5. "I would rather please you" - If your woman ALWAYS offers to give u head the minute you try to give it to her, then you aren't doing it right. NO ONE prefers to give head than get it. Lots of women enjoy giving it but not all the time. If its a battle to get her in the receiving end of oral sex, then she isn't enjoying it.

Hopefully these tips are helpful and if you fall into any of these scenarios please refer to my "Guide to Eating Out" . Always remember, sex is about pleasing your partner and enjoying yourself, nothing is sexier that being with someone that is confident and sexy and enjoys making you feel great!!

The Mile High Club

2011-05-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

The term "Mile High Club" refers to two people engaging in sexual activity (sexual intercourse) at an altitude of no less than 5,280 ft (a mile high above the earth) in an airplane. As silly as this might seem, its a HUGE fetish for many people. Some people claim that the allure is the slight vibration of the aircraft, others have pilot/air host fetishes, personally I think its the thrill of possible getting caught... Semi-public sex is always a little taboo and exciting, so I attribute the hype to that.

Its most popular to "join" the Mile-High Club in an airplane lavatory, but I have heard stories of people, "doing the deed" in their seats, partial or full nudity, and in the reclining bed sections of some overnight flights.

Its often said that only pilots could be members. but over the years its become so popular that there is a growing industry that helps people fulfill this fantasy.

Some companies have specially outfitted private jets, with beds etc, that couples can rent, for a hefty price, to fly into their fantasies for about an hour...which is usually enough to satisfy the thrill. There is even a website with tips and stories, submitted from other "club-members".

Now let me ask the readers, are you members of the "Mile High Club"?

Tighten Up!!

2011-04-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

This post is mainly for the ladies, although women and men alike could benefit from reading this..

How many of you would like to experience longer, stronger orgasms? I think we all answered "YES" to this question and the answer for many will be this..... "You need to tighten up"

No woman wants to admit that her southern regions are less than tight but the truth is time, gravity, and childbirth are not kind to our V-zones, and our muscles aren't as strong as they once were. The simple answer to this is to do Kegel exercises. Kegels are the tightening and relaxing of your pc muscles. An easy way to explain this would be to pretend to hold in your pee. Thats the area you want to isolate and focus on. Kegels are easy to do and no one will ever know that you are doing them, so you can do it ANYWHERE.

Another way to exercise this area is with the use of "Ben Wa" balls. Ben Wa balls are small weighted balls that you insert in the vagina and are worn for a few hours. The trick with these is that wearing them forces you to tighten your muscles to keep them in, resulting in a tighter vagina after just one wearing. It is said that Ben Wa balls provide a subtle sensation, not meant to cause orgasm, but to create a subtle tease.

Personally, I haven't tried these but I know many people who have and they all say that they notice great results after just one use. They come in many colors and textures and some even come attached with a string or connected for easy removal.

I think that if you want to work on your muscles and kegels alone don't seem to make a difference to you, then this is a great option. They are very affordable, some as cheap as $5.00 and as expensive as $50.00 depending on the material and the packaging (some come with carrying cases and storage bags).
We all know that the secret for better sex for both men and women is a tighter vagina, so do your kegels, and tighten up!

S&M... Do you like it ROUGH?

2011-03-28T21:52:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

Its been a while since I last posted I had a little writers block but I was compelled to write about Rough Sex... Ever since the song S&M came out (Rihanna), everyone seems to "feel so good being bad" and claims to like it "rough", so lets explore that a little....

I can honestly say that I liked it a little rough even before it was cool to like it rough.. I always found the appeal in doing something a little taboo, that sort of feeling that the pleasure is so good I need a little pain to make it real. Now S&M is very different from liking sex a little rough... There are several different types and it involves a lot more than a little hair pulling and butt slapping.

S&M stands for Sadomachocism, a form of sexual role-play, which broadly reffers to recieving pleasure from pain or humiliation. I know this sounds very strange but it can be broken down even further into BDSM, which is bondage and dicipline S&M, which would even encompass being tied up, or gagged during sex.

Now here is the fun part, my Rough Sex for Dummies tips:

Establish a Safe Word - Often times begging and saying no, and stop are part of the pleasurable experience of "rough sex" and S&M type role playing, so a safe word insures that the "play" never gets too rough or a misunderstanding is to occur. The word should me something that you wouldnt normally use during lovemaking, something like "turtle" or "orange" works well, it should be short, and easy to remember too.
Remember to get consent - Rough Sex is the kind of sex that you need additional consent for. It falls into the same category as oral, anal, and anything else that you wouldnt imagine your grandparents ever doing. The right time to approach this would be during some playful foreplay, or maybe during a flirting session. Always remember, just because you have the green light for sex, it does not mean rough sex is okay.
Start Gradually - Begin with a heavier tough, before any other rough play begins, start off my caressing a little harder, pulling his/her hair lightly, and then ease into spanking and biting. These are easy ways to determine what your partner enjoys.

Restraints - People often talk about wanting to be tied up, or tying up their partner but few people acutally do this and end up enjoying this... heres why... most people opt for handcuffs, and handcuffs HURT! Instead, save yourself a few bucks and use a scarf or a mens silky tie, its strong, you have it handy for spur of the moment sex, and it wont hurt like a handcuff. If you want to buy something for this specific use, then invest in some Japanese silk rope, its a strong silky rope that wont bruise or fray and it has lots of creative uses.
Scratching and Wax - These sort of go hand in hand because they can both easily get botched and end up hurting badly. With dripping any melted substance I like the 3 second and blow rule. Before applying it to the skin, blow it and wait three seconds, chances are its not going to burn the skin. With scratching, I like to save that for the climax, its not sexy to have someone scratch you during foreplay, its hard to keep it gentle like a nibble. During climax all the blood is rushing to other areas of the body and scratching can almost express the intense feelings you are feeling, just be careful not to break the skin.

Rough Sex can be very pleasurable if done right, just remember, enjoy it, be careful and mindful of your partner, and remember your safe word ;-)

How to put a condom on with your mouth

2011-03-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone!!

Lets face it, no one "likes" wearing a condom but in order to be safe and healthy, to prevent the spread of STD's and STI's and avoid unplanned pregnancy, condoms are necessary. Here is a little trick to getting your guy to wear a condom!

I discovered this a few years ago and I have tried it a few times, let me just say, this works best with a flavored condom, I have done it with other kinds as well but some lubricants have a funny taste or leave a numbing feeling in your mouth, its my strong recommendation that you use a flavored condom when doing this.

Basically you would do this either during of before performing oral sex. Simply open the condom, place it with the rolled side facing up, in your mouth, slightly suck at the tip while using your lips and teeth to gently roll the condom down over the penis. See the video below of an actual demonstration.

This is not only a great way to encourage your partner to wear a condom during sex and oral sex but its also pretty sexy when done correctly.

Try it ladies, and guys be sure to show this to your ladies...

How safe is your Sex?

2011-03-01T18:13:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone!

Today I want to talk about safe sex.. A close friend of mine and myself often post a Question of the Day on Facebook about various topics and sometimes I use the responses to get ideas for my blogs.. Recently we wrote about Oral sex and how many people use protection when engaging in this type of activity. I also polled random people I knew, etc. I was shocked to see that very few people use protection during oral sex and of the few that have used it, all but one person said it was not pleasurable. What I found interesting is that most of these people said that they used a condom during sex with the same people that they engaged in unprotected oral sex with.

In addition to preventing pregnancy condoms should be used to prevent the spread of STD's, we all know this but it seems that fewer people are aware of how easily STD's can be spread. When performing oral sex on a person (male or female) you are coming in contact with bodily fluid, and these fluids may contain sexually transmitted dieseases.

Here are some ways to have safer sex:

-During fellatio, use a condom. There are lots of flavored condoms designed for giving head, they are slightly lubricated and come in lots of colors and flavors, using a condom like this will not only taste good but will protect you. Also if you are afraid or not willing to swallow or taste semen, the condom will contain the mess. Always remember not to wear any lipgloss when giving head with a condom, as the oils in the lipgloss will break down the latex.

-During Cunnilingus - (Oral sex on a woman) Use a Dental Dam. This is a new term for most but I dental dam is basically a silicone or latex sheet used to form a barrier between the vagina and the mouth. They come in lots of flavors and you can also make one out of a unlubricated condom, cut into a flat sheet.

Dental Dams are thin and also come in flavors just like condoms. They are placed over the vagina and can even be held in place with tape (some come with adhesive on the sides).

Dental Dams may be difficult to find but should be available in most Adult specialty shops and can be ordered online.

In the video below there is a demonstration on how to create a dental dam out of a unlubricated condom.

What men notice first!!

2011-02-21T18:52:00.000-08:00

As we near the end of February, the month of love, I wanted to spotlight something interesting that I learned this month. Women are always interested in learning more about men and the things that they find attractive, this is a topic that I often write about, but just this week I read about men and their attraction to healthy hair. According to Glamour:

74% of men indicated that they notice women because of their hair.
44% of men surveyed said that hair is the first thing they notice about a woman, more than her clothes (26%), legs (25%), or makeup (4%), and most men surveyed would be more likely to approach a woman at a bar with great hair than a woman wearing a low-cut shirt.
82% of men indicated that sexy hair is a key element to a woman's overall sex appeal.
60% of men surveyed say they would rather date a woman with great hair than a woman with big breasts.

78% of men surveyed consider healthy hair to be a turn-on.

So ladies, treat your hair well, he might be paying more attention to your locks then you thing!

How to handle a break up ONLINE!

2011-02-12T18:02:00.000-08:00

As we approach Valentines Day (Feb 14th) and Break up with your Ex/National Unfriend Day (Feb 13th), I want to tackle the topic of how to handle a break up, online. In today's society your life, especially the social aspects are very much intertwined with the Internet, whether its Facebook, or twitter or Foursquare, we are all linked to the net, but when you are going through a break up, that isn't always a good thing. As a matter of fact, its a horrible thing. Here are some of my tips to help those that are going through the Post-Holiday/Pre-Valentines Day break up blues...

Don't drink and tweet... or text or post or whatever it is that you do... I know its easier to sleep at night after a few glasses, or bottles but keep away from all forms of communication after hitting the bottle. You don't want to end up pouring out your heart to your ex, or anyone else... its just going to make things worse.. so be careful. You don't need the whole world to know about your broken heart.
Don't check in - If you are using FourSquare or twitter or FB, don't broadcast your whereabouts, you never know who might see it and you definitely don't want a stalker ex to know where to find you.

Block your ex... out of sight = out of mind. Its much harder to stop thinking about someone who is everywhere you look. Someone who had mutual friends will keep popping into convos and posts so once u block them, you wont have to deal with seeing them online. Get friendly with your privacy settings and protect yourself from the intrusion.
Don't make your friends choose - If you have many mutual friends, its okay to talk and vent to them, but never make them choose. Not only is it unfair but it makes you look like a bad friend. Real friends will be there for you and support you in your time of need, but remember, just because you are hurting it doesn't give you the right to be a bad friend in return.
Unfriend when you are ready - If you are ready to unfriend now, then more power to you! But....if you aren't ready, then just block that persons feed, and keep it moving.. if someone is really a pain in the ass, then unfriend them. Remember, its JUST facebook, you wouldn't keep a bad friend around in real life so what makes "friendship" different via the Internet? Remember, you and your happiness comes first.

Break up with your EX Day! Feb 13th

2011-02-06T17:34:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone! Today I would like to spotlight fantastic website that I follow and share with you their concept of "Break up with your EX Day"!

YourTango.com is a great website that basically talks about love, life, and SEX and I love their articles. Recently they have begun a campaign to help their readers "Break up" with their ex's. Though it sounds redundant, it makes a lot of sense. These days when you break up with someone, they are still very much a part of your lives, via Facebook, Twitter, BBM, Email and Text forwards, etc, so by Feb 13th, in preparation for Valentines Day, BREAK UP WITH YOUR EX!! Cleanse your life of the stress and the constant "in your face" reminder of the past, let it go and get rid of all the connections. Delete them, unfriend them, unfollow them, erase their number, and let yourself move on!

There's more tips and advice all about "Break up with your Ex Day" here! Check it out!

Valentines Day, the LoveBites Way!

2011-01-30T05:42:00.000-08:00

As we venture into the month of February everywhere you go its all about Valentines Day.... Now I won't lie, its sweet to celebrate and shower each other with affection during this time, but I am one of those people who thinks that you should appreciate the person you love everyday... however, I do still celebrate V-DAY!

Now recently many male friends of mine have been asking me what to get their girlfriends for Valentines Day so I decided to blog about it...

Firstly, suggesting a great gift is going to be hard because everyone is so different, and you want to get something that she will love! I am going to break down my suggestions by the length of time dating... its just easier that way!

1-6 Months

At this point the relationship is still very new, often times you haven't said the L-word yet but its your first Valentines Day together and you don't want to be cheezy. In my opinion most guys go the very predictable and safe route and get flowers, a card, candy, or a teddy bear. While all of that is sweet, unless your girl is a pre-teen, none of it is memorable. This is your chance to wow her and to make her remember this Valentines Day, whether you are together or not.

Plan a couples activity: This means doing something together, preferably something that you have never done. Go to the spa, go ice skating, plan a picnic, go on a local sight seeing tour in your city, take a pottery class, visit a museum or the zoo. Its your chance to do something she will not expect.

6 Months-1 Year

Around now its possible that you have said the L-Word and you're having sex, this is definitely the Honeymoon phase and you should know enough about your sweetie to get her something that will be special. She is going to probably expect the usual, its still your first V-Day together and you still want to make an impact but you also want to pull on her heart strings a bit by wowing her with how well you know her, and expressing that you intend to have a future together.

Give the gift that keeps on giving. This shows that you know what she likes and you want to give her something to not only make her smile today but again in the future. You can buy her something she needs or wants, like an iPod loaded with "your songs", an E-reader if she likes to read, make her a gift basket of wine and snacks for a movie night in the future, buy a package of dance classes for you both, get two open tickets for a trip, buy her tickets to see a show in a few weeks, make her a great dinner and tell her that she owes you one. These are all ideas that point into the future.

1-3 Years

If you have been together this long then this should be a little easier, you have probably spent a few V-days together so you might know what she likes and dislikes by now. Now you need to show her that even now, after a few years, that she is still sexy. You need to ignite the spark!

Buy her some sexy lingerie, plan a romantic evening, get a "toy" for you both to play with, take her out to dinner to a Fondue Restaurant like the Melting Pot, where you can feed each other something sinful and gooey! Offer her a massage, take her out dancing, do whatever you think will make her feel like the sexy woman you know she is.

If you are living together or moving in

This can be at any time in the relationship. Once you are thinking about or already are living together then you can buy her something special for your home. I know people always say not to get her something for the house but this is different. You are not going to buy a blender or a vacuum, you are going to buy something that will make her smile every time she even looks at it.

You can make her some art, get a canvas and some paint and get creative, when she sees this she will always remember how unexpected that gift was.
Frame a memento, something she might not expect like some old movie stubs, a printed out movie sign from the first movie you ever saw together, the menu from the first dinner out, something special and unique to the both of you.

Buy a his and her item. I love this idea, there are his and her robes, aprons, tooth brushes, coffee cups, pillow cases (which I love). Just something special that says "you are my other half".
Get a pet. This is a touchy suggestion because this is something that you both should have discussed before but if you have been talking about it, its a great time to finally do it! Don't run out and buy a dog but maybe buy her a set of cute doggie bowls and a leash, maybe a dog t-shirt for the pup, and on valentines day make it a date to adopt your new family member.

There's are just a few ideas, and of course they are all generic, as the man you will need to tailor your date and gift to the likes of the lady in your life. Women love flowers, we love the cards and the candy, and not to mention Jewelry, those are all usually safe bets but my suggestions are a little more unique and definitely more memorable!!

Happy Romancing to Everyone!!

Anal Sex, yay or nay?

2011-01-25T21:23:00.000-08:00

Do you "do" anal? - Every woman has probably been asked this question many times, and the answers may vary depending on what is meant my "Anal". Anal sex most often refers to the sex act involving insertion of the penis into the anus of a sexual partner. The term anal sex can also sometimes include other sexual acts involving the anus, not limited to but including insertion of toys or fingers into the body. In the past anal sex was believed to be a purely homosexual act but in 2009 a study of American college undergraduates revealed that one in four heterosexual individuals admitted to having anal sex.

Though anal sex is pleasurable for many people most find it very painful. Most women rate the practice among their least favorite sexual activities because of the pain or discomfort involved. Psychological factors, as well as technique, were found to play a role in the experience of pain during anal sex.

Regardless of the pain factor, Anal sex is needless to say the most popular of sexual taboos. While many people are at the very least curious enough to try it, few go about it the right way and/or have a negative experience, and never do it again. Its easy to see why people are so intrigued about this act. Men like the idea of tightness and friction, and both partners can appreciate the allure of doing something naughty, unique and venturing into an unknown area together.

If you or your partner fall into the category of people who have only tried anal sex once and then swore it off for life it is probably because you had a painful experience, or have heard enough horror stories to last you a lifetime. The anus is nerve-packed and with the right kind of stimulation, anal play can feel amazing. Unfortunately, the same cluster of nerves responsible for the pleasure can cause great pain. When having anal sex you must show your concern for each others pleasure and comfort.

Here are some tips, summarized from Askmen.com:

1. She needs to be relaxed and prepared; anal sex is not suited for a quickie. The anus will tighten if she is nervous, which will make it hard for you to get in and more painful for her.

2.You probably already know what really turns her on, so whether it’s a bubble bath and a massage or hardcore porn and costumes, have your tools at the ready. Getting her aroused is of the utmost importance.

3. Use foreplay and make sure she is horny and very into it before you even think about touching her butt, take time and start slowly, using your mouth and fingers to stimulate her before putting your penis anywhere near her. You might even want to just use smaller toys and your fingers until she gets used to the idea of having something inside that particular opening.

4. Use lube -- lots of lube. Unlike the vaginal opening, the anus does not create its own lubrication; you’ll need to use plenty of artificial wetness to ensure a smooth ride.
5. Always use a condom for anal sex. Because of the increased chances of small tears in the anal cavity during anal sex, it is easier to transmit several sexually transmitted diseases and infections, including HIV and hepatitis C.

6. Be gentle and communicate every step of the way. Its important to do so, if not you may hurt her.

7. DO NOT try to imitate what you see in PORN. Porn stars are often stretched out or too damn high to understand the pain that they are feeling. The often use desensitizing products as well to numb the pain, which is the body's way of telling you that something is wrong. Take it slow and remember that it should be pleasurable for both partners.

I found AskMen.com EXTREMELY useful when writing this post, to read more here's the link : AskMen.com - Anal Sex

What's a cock ring?

2011-01-24T20:25:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday Everyone (yeah not really, I know)...

Today's post was a question is pretty interesting and was sent in my an anonymous reader:

What exactly is a cock ring, and what does it do?

Basically a cock ring is a sexual device made of either silicone, leather, rubber, or metal that fits snugly around the base of the penis and sometimes the scrotum and creates a trap to enhance sexual pleasure and cause stronger, harder erections. These can be worn to prolong an erection and also to treat erectile dysfunction. The come in a variety of designs and sizes, so theres guaranteed to be a cock ring for everyone.

Some cock rings even have small bullet vibrators attached to the top to serve as clitoral simulators, these are AWESOME... not only will it create a long lasting erection, preventing circulation, but it will stimulate your woman till she begs you to stop... literally... These cock rings are usually silicone or rubber and are often one size fits all because they are stretchy. I like these because it enhances the experience for both partners and theres no size dilemma to worry about. These are also reusable.

What are your thoughts on this item? Have you tried this? Would you be interested in experimenting with this?

Are stuffed animals sexy?

2011-01-23T09:24:00.000-08:00

Recently I saw an article on Yahoo about Celebs posing with stuffed animals, trying to be sexy, so with Valentines Day right around the corner, I find myself wondering, do men think this is sexy? and I wonder why?

Basically, I happen to think its sort of sexy, but we all know that a lot of the time women and men have totally different ideas about whats sexy!

Like this pic of Lindsey Lohan.. I happen to think its sort of sexy in a playful sexy way, but some people find this kinda picture offensive and even a little creepy..

What are your thoughts??

Should men Shave??

2011-01-16T14:40:00.000-08:00

Lets face it, its 2011 and almost every woman does some sort of pubic grooming, but what about our men?

A reader emailed me and told me that she's been with her boyfriend for over a year and she always shaves and recently began waxing and he boyfriend has never shaved or even trimmed for her. She asked me if its common and how she could get him to groom a little more.

The sad truth is, many men don't feel the need to shave or trim their pubic areas. Society has created this stereotype that women should be well groomed, whether that be shaved, waxed, or trimmed, at all times, and that men can be hairy beasts. Personally, I think men should shave or at least trim their pubes. I wouldn't expect a man to go get a "Brazilian" but at least try to clean up the bush if you expect me to be poking around down there. There are some men out there that have taken a cue from all that porn they watch and have decided to shave and even use hair remover to go totally bare, which is awesome, but not every guy out there is that considerate.

My advice to the men out there is this, "If your woman shaves, waxes, etc, then be considerate and at least trim and consider shaving for her. No one wants to head south and choke themselves on a Brillo pad."

My advice to the women out there is even simpler, "Ask him to shave", chances are he never even thought about it, so before your blame him for not doing it, bring it to his attention. You might be surprised at his willingness to please you in the sack, even if it means taking a razor to his... :-)

Contrary to Popular Belief, Older women are better in Bed... via Yahoo

2011-01-09T08:58:00.000-08:00

Good Morning Everyone!

Interesting topic this morning! While doing my daily news feed read, I came across a article on Yahoo Shine, about the popular misconception that younger women are better sex partners. Basically the article touched on the point that culture has a huge impact on what people tend to find sexy and western culture has an unrealistic model that young = sexy/more sexual. More and more women of today find themselves feeding into such stereotypes and try to appear younger and feel less and less sexy as they age, when it should be the opposite.

We are brainwashed into thinking that women in their teens and early twenties are sexually perfect, because from the evolutionary perspective men are naturally attracted to women that are the most fertile (full hips, large breasts, etc) but if you think for a moment about what makes a woman a good lover, its skill and experience.

After reading that article I made a few phone calls and asked around to men that I know.. All seemed to agree, Older Women = Better Sex. Older women know their bodies, and how to use them, they are more comfortable discussing sex and trying new things, and they are usually more sexually skilled over all. One guy I asked said "When I was 17 I had sex with a 32 year old woman, and she licked my ass, and I liked it, so when I was with younger women I would ask them to, and they would be grossed out", that's just one example. Another man said "Hell yeah, older women are way better in bed, they know how to give head, they aren't afraid to swallow", and my favorite response was this one, "Older women are not only better in bed, but they don't make you feel nervous to try new things and do what comes naturally, think about when you were 18-20, are you a better lover now?" and the truth is, I am.. Years later I find myself happier with my body then I was when I was a teenager, although its not half as "perfect" and I know enough about myself to enjoy sex a lot more, and like I always say, the key to great sex is enjoying it and seeing your partner enjoy it.

What are your thoughts on this topic??

How to give GOOD head...

2011-01-02T20:53:00.000-08:00

As we welcome in 2011 I wanted my first post of the year to be a really good one, and thanks to a good friend, I have decided to cover the art of fellatio.

Basically I got an email from a friend asking me to write a blog about how to give good head. The interesting part was that she knows how to give head but she asked me if I had any special advice and stated that shes always looking to improve. That's the best way to look at any sexual act. Its not all black and white, there's not simple right or wrong, its all a matter of what your partner likes, and your ability to tailor your skills to please them.

First and foremost, its just a blow job. Don't over think it or go into it with a plan or agenda. Contrary to the name, its not a job, its an act of passion and when you enjoy it, so will your partner. Don't do anything you are not comfortable with and follow your partners body language. From the onset, listen to every noise, look out for every twitch or ever subtle change in his breathing, use these changes as your road map. Don't expect him to be vocal, it will kill the mood, just get to work and pay attention.

When giving head, don't be afraid to be a little sloppy. Wetter is better and your partner will definitely agree. Feel free to spit on it or use a specialized lube, but the penis should slide in and out of your mouth with ease. Don't be shy or worry about being neat.
I like to think that a BJ is best as a surprise, don't get me wrong, its great in bed, but I think its better when its least expected, in the car, the bathroom, during a movie.. you get the idea. The risk of being caught is half the excitement..

Don't be intimidated by your inability to DEEP THROAT. Despite what most men think, its not at all easy, but that's what makes it so special, its a skill, but its very easy to FAKE. A lot of women think that a blow job is all about your mouth, but your hands should be equally involved. Use your hands as an extension of your mouth, wrap them loosely around the penis, close to your lips and glide them up and down the shaft in unison with your mouth, if done correctly, to him it will feel like you slid his entire penis into your mouth. Another alternative is to use a numbing agent. There are tons of products on the market that are specially designed to numb your throat just enough to suppress your gag reflex. GO DEEP Oral Sex Mints are a great product for this. Its a great mint, not to strong, and it slightly numbs your throat, the minty sensation is also pleasant (like the popular Altoid trick from the 90's).

Its more than just sucking.. Its a popular misconception that intense suction and head bobbing = good head... Its more about varying suction, lots of sliding and gliding, licking, stroking and making it all seamless. It sounds like a lot, and it is... My favorite quote is from Samantha in Sex and the City "You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement and jaw stress and suction and gag reflex and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing". And she is totally right! Keep your mouth semi relaxed otherwise it will begin to hurt and you wont be able to keep going long enough, also make sure your lips are relaxed.
Don't neglect his balls. Testicles are very sensitive and licking and light sucking on that area can feel amazing. Even massaging them while you are down there can feel really great, so don't be afraid to explore. The art of being good at any sexual act is to be confident and open to trying new things.
Give him a nice view. A friend of mine once told me that she hated giving head because she would look up at her boyfriend and he would be staring at her, and I thought to myself "That's the best part!". Men are very visual creatures, and no matter what position you are in while performing oral sex, he is getting a great view, so enjoy it, and let him enjoy it too. Look up once in a while, kiss and lick the head, touch yourself, and whatever else feels right, he will enjoy every moment, and he will get off on seeing how much you are enjoying it as well.
Nibble. Ladies, there is a huge difference between a nibble and a bite, a bite is sinking your teeth into something, where as a nibble should be light, small, and flirty. Learn how to nibble, or wrap your lips over your teeth and then "nibble through your lips". A little occasional nibble can feel good and add some variety to the blow job, but be careful not to apply too much pressure.
Use those lips. Men always say that women with full lips are dick sucking lips, and perhaps the porn industry is at fault. I'm not a man, but I'm a woman with very full lips and I think that any woman can give great head as long as she knows how to use her lips. Your lips are your best tool to use to avoid BITING or GRAZING him with your teeth. As I mentioned above, wrap your lips over your teeth. Nothing ruins the moment like PAIN. Most men I have asked mention that their biggest sexual pet peeve is a woman who gives poor head, and the reason why was almost always BITING.

Don't be afraid to try new positions. There are lots of great positions for a BJ. You can be on your knees in front of him while he is seated or standing, you can do the oh so famous 69, you can kneel over him while he is lying down, or my favorite, lay on the bed while he is standing. This way you are face up, and he is standing. In this position he is looking down on your ENTIRE body and entering your mouth upside down. In this position you can "tea bag" him and the sensation is different from any other. He is also in a position to touch you as well...

Anyway, I hope this was helpful... I would love to hear every ones feedback, also for the guys, What are your Blow Job Pet Peeves?

Happy New Year!!

2011-01-02T14:42:00.000-08:00

Wishing Everyone a Very Happy and Sexy New Year!!

I want to give special thanks to all of my friends who have shown me so much support over the past few months and gave me the inspiration to begin writing LoveBites!!

xoxo

Doggie Style, yay or nay?

2010-12-29T04:41:00.000-08:00

Recently I have heard a few people mention that doggie style is a bit overrated, its like the "go-to" position for wannabe freaks and its not living up to all the hype. There's an art to good sex, no matter what position you're in and this position seems to have lost some of its luster.. What are your thoughts?

To Gift or Not to Gift? - That is the Question!

2010-12-21T20:08:00.000-08:00

With the Holiday season only days away everyone is in a shopping and gift giving frenzy and I had a friend/reader ask me an interesting question that I would like to share with everyone...

Should I buy a Christmas Gift for my "Friend with Benefits"?

Now my answer for this is simple, "If you want", but let me elaborate. I personally am a Giver. I enjoy giving gifts and I understand that the concept of a gift is to give someone something that you would like them to have. Its a simple and easy concept to understand. There might be an occasion or event that creates the gift giving opportunity but the bottom line is still the same, you give a gift because you want someone to have a certain item, NOT because you expect something in return.

Now if understand that the was to give a gift is with an open heart and without expecting anything in return, then you are ready to select a gift.

A friend with benefits is not just a friend, but a friend that you have a sexual relationship with, so selecting a gift might be easy. If you have been friends for a long time or if you know of something that this person wants, then your job is simple but if you have no idea what to get, or if you aren't very close friends, then here are my tips...

Buy something naughty - Theres nothing wrong with buying a "FWB" some lingerie or boxers, its cute, inexpensive and its a great way to remind that friend of how much you appreciate the special benefits that you have arranged.
Buy something that you can "Share" - If you feel uneasy about buying a gift for this person, but you really want to, a sharable gift is a great compromise. Think a massage for two, a sexy novelty game, a gift basket of yummy bedroom friendly snacks, a bottle of wine and a box of chocolate truffles, something that is a gift for you both to enjoy while you are together.
Buy a gift for his/her home or office - this is a great neutral gift. This gift says "I noticed you like movies/books/candles/lamps/throw pillows/pens/figurines of some sort/paperweights etc, so I thought you might like this. This shows that you pay attention and you just thought the recipient would have interest in the particular gift.
Steer clear of "relationship" gifts, like keepsakes, couples items (jewelry, ornaments, picture frames)
Don't spend a lot of money. A gift for a friend is coming from the heart, not your wallet, therefore shop from the heart as well...

Those are my suggestions, however, when buying any gift, take the recipient and his/her taste, likes, and or dislikes into consideration.

Happy Holidays!!

Millionaire Matchmaker - And Why All Guys Should Watch It!

2010-12-16T21:19:00.000-08:00

First let me begin by saying, I LOVE THIS SHOW... I am a loyal viewer not only because I love the drama, but Patti Stanger really knows her stuff. Bravo TV has a ton of Reality TV shows, and they all make for awesome entertainment but this show really teaches both men and women a little about life and love, not to mention it gives us an interesting peek into the dating pool out there.

Basically the premise of the show is to match single wealthy people, all claiming to be millionaires, with potential spouses. Patti Stanger is the owner of the Beverly Hills based "Millionaire's Club" where the millionaires are her clients and she basically helps them find love. What I love about this show is that Patti does not go out and find woman to fit a specific description, and sticks them with the millionaire who ordered them like a mail order bride. What she does is meets with her client, and tries to see what they are looking for and the reasons that they have not yet found a partner. At times the client needs a makeover, needs some sort of therapy, needs to take a class, or learn a personality skill, no matter the issue, she addresses that before looking for a potential match. She is aware that her clients are not perfect, and will not match a highly flawed or unstable person with a partner.

From watching this show and following her blog, I have learned a lot of things, but one thing that I always think to myself is "I wish more men watched this show". Here are a few things that I've learned that I wish more men knew:

One of the rules of the millionaires club is that there is NO sex till monogamy. This is a great rule because if you are using such a service to find a SPOUSE, then sex is not your primary goal, theres is sooo much more that should click first.
The first date can often map out the course of the relationship. Of course this is not written in stone, but we all know how important first impressions are and first dates even more so. Your first date is your partners first taste of you, your personality, your style, and where they stand in your life. Be yourself, be real, but be the BEST you possible.

The man should plan the first date. This is something a little old fashioned and many people may not agree with this, but I wish more men did this. Most women, whether they want to admit it or not, want a Knight in Shining Armor to sweep them off their feet, and what better way to begin a relationship than giving your man the chance to do that. Its the first date and everything is new and exciting, down the road you will have millions of chances to plan things and make more memories but give him the chance to romance you and slay some dragons for you, remember you cant expect romance unless you give him the chance.
Theres nothing wrong with chasing a woman. Women no matter the age, want to feel beautiful, sexy and desired. That's the bottom line. Some women are aggressive and some may play coy, but nothing makes a woman feel sexier than being pursued. Honestly, I feel very sexy even if a ugly guy is into me. Its just a little reminder that we are desired. More and more men are becoming more submissive and women are turning into the hunters, but sometimes even the hunter wants to feel like a prized prey, so don't be afraid boys, theres nothing wrong with being straightforward and displaying interest. Playing Hard to get will only get you so far...
Learn to use your dating data. Every date, good or bad, is one step closer to finding you mate. Men looking for a long term partner need to stop looking at every date as a "smash or pass". If it isn't great, well then you know what you aren't looking for, as simple as that.. If its great, then keep dating her, once you are officially only seeing each other, then head to bed!

There are a ton more great tips from this show, so much in fact that I just might write another post about this, but I would love to hear your thoughts on this...

Cougars, Cubs, and Manthers, Oh my...

2010-12-14T00:18:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone,

Thanks to some recent inspiration I have compiled an interesting collection of what I like to call, "relationship terms" for you...

Chickenhawk - an older gay man who sexually pursues younger males.

Cougar - The term is commonly applied to women who are forty or older and pursue younger men. Hunting their prey, enjoying the "prowl".

Cradle robber or cradle snatcher - a person involved with a much younger individual.

Cub/Tadpole - a younger male who is going out with an older partner, often paired with the term Cougar. The term is also often used in the gay community along with the term Bear^.

Gold digger - someone who develops a relationship with a much older partner or someone whom they do not find attractive physically, intellectually or congenially for primarily financial reasons, especially to inherit the partner's wealth upon death (which is expected to come soon), or upon divorce.

Jailbait - a sexually attractive young person who is below the legal age of consent.

Lolita - a sexually precocious girl who is the object of desire of a significantly older man. The term's origin is the name of the title character in Vladimir Nabokov's novel Lolita, whom the book's narrator, Humbert Humbert, calls a nymphet.

Manther - A male 40 years of age or older, who pursues younger women, typically younger than half his age.

May–December romance - a relationship in which the age difference between the two adults is wide enough to risk social disapproval.

MILF (an acronym of "Mother [or 'Mom'] I'd Like/Love to Fuck") - a sexually desirable mother, though not necessarily an older woman. The term is used frequently as a descriptor of pornography featuring older women, assumed to be mothers.

Puma - a woman in her thirties who dates a younger man (i.e., 20-somethings), often considered a "cougar in training". It also means a cougar whose age disparity is less than eight years.

Sugar daddy/mommy - a rich, usually older person who offers money or gifts to a less rich, usually younger person in return for companionship or sexual favors. This differs from prostitution in that the older person is usually the sole financial provider to the younger person.

Boy Toy - a much younger boyfriend or husband of an older woman.

Troll - an older gay/bi man, often a less-attractive one, who cruises younger men for sex.

Trout - An older man who dates a younger woman.

Some of these I have heard, but most were pretty new to me... what are some interesting terms you have heard?

5 Interesting things that Turn Men Off!

2010-12-06T19:04:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone,

Today I did some interesting "research" and I am dying to share my results with you...
I asked around to different men and proposed this question "What turns you off sexually about a woman?"
and here are the most popular and interesting answers that I got...

Dead in Bed- Men hate a woman who is wack in bed... theres nothing worse that having sex with a woman whose body is limp and seems distant. This shouldn't come as a surprise, as a woman, we don't want to be intimate with a man who isn't passionate about whats happening, so why would it be any different for a man? Men want a woman who is passionate and full of "fire", she should be totally present, and take lots of initiative, aggressive even!
Poor Grooming - This was the second biggest complaint - Basically, say no to bushy pubes! No one wants to dig through a Forrest of hair to find the goods, so keep it trimmed, shaved, or waxed. Its sexier and cleaner and nothing is sexier than being clean!! Ladies, keep this in mind, when you are trimmed, your man gets a better view, and we all know how visual men are!

Worn Out Panties - It shocked me that so many women that I know thought that their men didn't care about the type/condition of their panties... I understand that girls want to be comfortable, but there are VERY sexy panties out there that are made of breathable cotton materials that are still extremely sexy. Why wear underwear with your man that you have been with for a while that you wouldn't wear on "opening night" with a new man?? Think of your panties as the "gift wrapping", and the kitty as the "gift", it should be pretty, clean, inviting, and welcoming.. get rid of the holey, worn out, stretched out, ripped elastic, seen better days panties at the bottom of your drawer... NO ONE wants to see that...
Vaginal Dryness - Whether you have a medical condition, are going through menopause, or are just not turned on, Vaginal Dryness is a HUGE turnoff. Like I mention on my previous post, wetter is better, and if you are dry, you have options... Get some replens, its a product sold to re-hydrate the vagina, designed for women with medical related dryness, or get some LUBE... Having sex with a dry women is the equivalent of fucking a guy who is soft, its difficult to do, and it makes you wonder if they are turned on... so get wet ladies!

Strange Odors - This is no surprise... men are turned off my women who smell, any kind of negative smell is a sexual turn off... I often hear women say that they find it very sexy when their man smells a little sweaty, but I NEVER hear men say that.. Men often hold their women to unrealistic standards, but that's just the way they are programmed and smells are part of that issue. If you are clean and well groomed then this will all fall into place and this shouldn't be an issue at all, all your body smells should be positive and pheromone packed!!

What are your thoughts??

Wetter is better - Lube for Dummies

2010-12-01T17:04:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone,

Tonight I want to talk about lube.. Basically I decided to write about this because someone I know confided in me that he and his girlfriend are still using baby oil gel in bed as lube, and basically, I cringed... so this is for him lol...

When I say "lube" I mean personal lubricant, sold for sexual or medical purposes, and designed specifically for use on the genital area. Lube basically reduces friction during masturbation or sexual acts, and theres tons of great products on the market for this purpose. Not every slippery substance is suitable as lube. This is something that I cannot stress enough! Baby oil, petroleum jelly, and crisco (lmao) are great for a ton of other uses, but not as lube.

Heres why:

Most oil based lubes will cause a condom to deteriorate and weaken, therefore increasing the chance of accidental pregnancy and spreading STD's.
Some substances are not easily washed off, they may leave a less than pleasant residue.
Some may encourage infection in women, just because its greasy, it doesn't mean you can shove it in there.

There are three kinds of personal lubricant on the market, water based, oil based, and silicone based. They are all great, but which is right for you depends on your preference and any allergic reactions you might have.
Here's the difference...

Water Based: You guessed it, Water based lube is made from WATER, its slippery, slick, and is easily cleaned up, just use a Little warm water and its GONE. The downside is that it will dry up quicker than oil based or silicone based products, but the plus side is that it is 100% condom safe, no matter what kinda condom you decide to use, a water based lube is safe! The most popular water based lubes are KY Jelly, Astroglide, and WET but there are tons out there.

Oil Based: Like I mentioned above, these are baby oil and petroleum jelly, neither are a great idea for use with condoms.

Silicone Based: These are similar to Water based in that they are condom safe and they clean up easier than Oil based lubes, they are thinner than most and are super slick. Unlike water based products, silicone lube will not dry out so theres no needs to keep reapplying (a huge plus) the only downside is that some people are allergic, so be careful when using this. Popular Brands are Wet PLATINUM and Bodyglide.

Now those are the basics, but theres also specialty lubes out there, like the His and Her varieties which offer warming, numbing, cooling and tingling sensations as well, the lube you pick is up to you but be safe and get WET!!