Beyond the Balcony

The Inspirational 'Standout: The Ben Kjar Story' Documentary is My Latest Review for The Video Librarian

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Sat, 16 May 2026 09:39:54 -0500

One of the most popular stories throughout movie history is the underdog tale of the perceived outsider rising up and proving their worth. It has a predictable formula, but when done right, it can be inspirational, motivational. and uplifting. Standout: The Ben Kjar Story takes the successful format to the documentary film, by sharing the true story of Ben Kjar, who was born with Crouzon syndrome and went against doctor orders and a lack of natural athletic talent to forge a successful Greco-Roman and freestyle wrestling career.

The feature explores the many obstacles Kjar must endure and overcome throughout his life, including bullying, medical challenges, and unexpected hardships. We meet the many friends, family, and teammates he positively impacts throughout his life. The movie showcases the importance of anti-bullying, open-mindedness, endurance, hard work, and the power of being loving, kind, and compassionate.

You can read my full review over at The Video Librarian.

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If my work resonates with you, then please consider supporting me either by subscribing to my Life on the Balcony newsletter, throwing a tip my way through the Support Me badge or my Ko-fi page, or considering hiring me for your business.

On the Docket

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Fri, 15 May 2026 21:59:00 -0500

I wrote a review for The Video Librarian. It won't make me a member of the Millionaire Club, but doing some work is a positive direction during a time when I feel caught in a vortex of infinite despair.

I'm hoping for quite a bit more work in the coming days, and start that slow chiseling away of debt and gradual piling of money towards supporting my family and maybe even affording new shoes and a phone plan.

What should you expect other than my usual stream of throwaway posts?

I saw The Sheep Detective, which means a review will be on its way.

I'll have The Movie Breakdown with reviews, but also an exclusive interview.

I've been debating writing a piece about the hidden struggles of appearing 'easy-going' for my return to Life on the Balcony.

I also have a screener to two movies, which means I can review them.

The most important thing for me is recognizing that none of those will come off perfect or hit the exact days I want. I just need to be compassionate to myself and take the proper time to create my best work yet.

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Little Fissures of Success

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Thu, 14 May 2026 15:18:00 -0500

I've been looking up for a miracle.

I don't really believe it's possible. But desperation alters how you see things. When overwhelm and anxiety dominate your day, and nothing seems to get the motor running, you hope for a majestic mechanic to appear from thin air and make it all better.

Sometimes that means crossing fingers that an X will mark the spot and sudden treasure will appear. A thousand dollars will take off some of the pressure and give me the confidence to take a chance or two, rather than feel paralyzed by the idea that my next choice must be the game-changer.

This leads to my other constant thought about my yearned-for miracle. A breaktrhrough.

The hope one viral post, one landed gig, one published article, or one sent newsletter will suddenly land me hordes of loyal readers where I can monetize my work or leverage it to better-paying work or a book deal. The sudden moment that it all changes, and life is a field of lollipops and disco-grooving unicorns.

Except the reality is a breakthough only appears that way to an outsider. They hear about a new hot writer or discover a game-changing invention. They don't know that the writer or inventor has been spending years or even decades working through that idea and trying things that fail and other things that end up being a stepping stone to their eventual 'overnight success'.

I need to realize when I am at my most down and frustrated, where I am desperate for some money to get me out of debt and build some momentum, that breakthrough only comes from a series of small cracks.

Success fissures.Little moments that create the large crack and give the outside world the belief it was a breakthrough. A sudden moment. A out of nowhere victory.

It comes wth just a little victory every day.

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Stesh Frart

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Wed, 13 May 2026 15:07:00 -0500

Likely, many won't ever read this post.

That is fine.

It is one of many throwaway, pointless posts that I chuck on here to keep some meaningness streak alive without pushing through the roadblocks, fears, and overwhelm of actually putting myself out there with something authentic and vulnerable.

Can a movie review be vulnerable?

Can a pop culture piece be vulnerable?

It is when every piece you create feels like a judgment or a reflection of my worth. I define myself as a writer because I often feel there isn't much more left to define me. It is the thing that I am good at, but if my best is a fart in church, then what does that say about me?

Yet that fear has played a staggering role in my current dilemma.

I need money, I need work. And I sure would like this site, my newsletter, and podcast to be able to play a positive part in my career.

But it doesn't really do that at the moment. I am very lean on work, and lack the readers or listeners open to paying for my work.

This, of course, is all fine.

It means I need to take more chances. I need to just push forward. I need to craft something that justifies my hopes and dreams.

I need to write something that has a chance.

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Warm Winter

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Tue, 12 May 2026 14:04:00 -0500

The snow is long gone, but my love for these two ladiers blows on.

A Bad Start Doesn't Mean Quit the Race

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Mon, 11 May 2026 17:04:00 -0500

No podcast today.

A few lower-paying gigs are all I have for the week.

It feels like the cycle continues.

But I also know sometimes I'll miss the targeted day for a review, podcast, or newsletter.

I'll not write the majesty that is shining in my brain. It will be something vastly different. But not necessarily worse.

I can improve. I can grow. I can have success. But none of that is erased when I stumble or struggle.

It is all part of the race. Or maybe better seen as a marathon.

Lots of time left, even this week.

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Success!

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Sun, 10 May 2026 21:11:00 -0500

So proud of Everett. He is a lot of fun as Doug, and he tried a few new things for this character. He also got to show off his tap skills. The entire cast is amazing, and Descendants was a magical family show.

A very special weekend, as is always the case when a family member performs on the stage. We love theatre.

Everett Isn't The Only Spicer Who Took to the Stage This Week

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Sat, 9 May 2026 22:12:00 -0500

After weeks and weeks of rehearsals, Danika performed in her school musical, Grimm, all week. I got to see her on Wednesday morning, and her performance was bewitching.

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Tonight is 'Descendants'

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Fri, 8 May 2026 12:44:00 -0500

@sleepyb4t_ Come to Brantford Collegiate Institute and experience this magical story! GET TICKETS AT https://20paa.com/tickets/#theatre #descendants #brantford #hamilton @20 Performing Arts Academy ♬ original sound - sleepyb4t_

It is the opening night of Descendants. The cast and crew of 20 Performing Arts Academy put on a successful show for schools this afternoon, and are ready to rock it tonight, and two shows tomorrow at BCI in Brantford.

Everett plays Doug on the stage, and apparently, a kid with bad attendance in this video (which is definitely acting).

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Bottom Up Processing

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Thu, 7 May 2026 18:43:00 -0500

Many neurodivergent people tend to think in a more “bottom-up” way, while many neurotypical people lean “top-down.” Top-down thinking is fast and efficient. You walk into a room, see a baked good on the counter, and based on past experience, you quickly go, “That’s a birthday cake.” Then you might notice the decorations, the colour, the details.

Bottom-up thinking works in the opposite direction. You walk into the same room and notice the smell of something freshly baked. Maybe a hint of smoke from recently blown-out candles. The red icing. The multi-coloured sprinkles. The sound of a fan. The breeze from an open window. All of that information gets processed, and then you arrive at: “There’s a cake here.”

It’s not that one is better than the other. But top-down is usually faster because it filters early. Bottom-up takes in more before filtering, which can look like “slow processing” from the outside. But it isn’t slow; it’s more data being processed before a conclusion is reached.

This is why many neurodivergent individuals excel at noticing patterns others miss, make unique connections, think outside the box, and thrive in creative environments. Bottom-up thinking isn’t a deficit. It’s a different processing style.

It does mean many do better with hands-on, visual, play-based, or exploratory approaches, need clear, direct instructions with limited assumptions, patience, and open-mindedness from others, and environments that limit overwhelm and sensory overload.

The right support and environment can lead to incredibly creative and unique outcomes.

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Embarassing, On My Knees, Begging

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Wed, 6 May 2026 21:31:00 -0500

I have been putting a few strategies in place, looking into new therapy, and have some new potential work lined up. Financially, I am still in a rough spot, and emotionally, it is even worse as I try to manage a variety of stresses and issues. Obviously, that hurts my creativity and ability to deliver my best work for this site and beyond.

But I feel that in the past, I have delivered great work. I know in the future I will continue to deliver my very best. But if you've ever appreciated something I created and want to show your love in the form of financial then this is the time to throw a little my way.

You do it via Paypal, becoming a paid subscriber to my newsletter, donating through Ko-Fi, or consider hiring me to write some copy for your business or magazine/site.

You are all amazing, and I am so grateful for the decade-plus of support.

Things AuDHd Taught Me

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Tue, 5 May 2026 22:03:00 -0500

A few things I’ve learned about myself after being diagnosed with autism and ADHD:

1. The “easy-going” myth

For 47 years, I thought being “easy-going” meant sacrificing what you want, bottling up frustration, and then venting when you’re alone. People saw me as laid-back… until they actually got to know me and saw the neon bouncing ball in action. I’m not even sure “easy-going” really fits a neurodivergent brain, when your head is full of racing thoughts, prone to anxiety, and living a sensory nightmare.

2. Not actually “obsessed”

I’ve been called “obsessed” close to a million times. But a lot of the time, it was just how a neurodivergent brain processes. We hyperfocus. We seek closure. We need to finish the loop. Yes, special interests can look intense from the outside. But they’re not a flaw; they’re often how we regulate, and stay emotionall healthy.

3. We need to redefine “immaturity”

A lot of neurodivergent people still find joy in toys, cartoons, games, and imagination. We stim. We get silly. We play. That isn’t immaturity. For years, I buried that side of myself because I thought I had to. Looking back, suppressing that “quirky” part of me did real damage to my mental health.

4. Comparison is a losing game

So much of my life, I felt like a failure because I didn’t have the same energy as others or struggled with “simple” tasks. Neurodivergence often means a spiky profile where you might excel in one area and really struggle with a seemingly simple task. Energy isn’t consistent either, especially with social demands or executive function tasks. But I’ve started to see that my imagination, pattern recognition, outside-the-box thinking, and ability to brainstorm are strengths many neurotypicals struggle with.

5. Communication is harder than I realized

I used to think I was good at communication. Now I see how often I struggle following group conversations, knowing when to speak, interpreting vague requests, or navigating all the unwritten social rules. I’ve gotten better over time, but I also recognize how much energy it has taken to appear “normal.”

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Creative Loop

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Mon, 4 May 2026 22:14:00 -0500

The majestic, glorious, world-changing plan was to post an episode of The Movie Breakdown today, then the pure sparkly magic of reviews, thoughtful posts, and a Life on the Balcony newsletter would prance out as the week progressed.

It could still happen.

I honestly need to stop believing in this perfect start where everything goes exactly as planned, and readers come flooding back.

It was a rough weekend, and I still feel a combination of brain fog from potential autistic burnout, along with a headache and raging cough from a sickness.

We'll see how this week goes. But perfection is a myth, and all those things can still come and don't need to be on exact days and done in exact ways.

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Don't Let It Go -- The Chance to Buy Tickets

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Sun, 3 May 2026 19:49:00 -0500

When Danika was three, we were playing in the snow in the backyard. She wanted to go swimming despite the weather. She moved over to her kiddie pool but noticed something was wrong.

"What happened?"

"Oh, the pool is frozen, sweetie."

"It turned to 'Let it Go'?"

Because you see, for young Danika, everything revolved around Frozen. She dressed up as both princesses, we watched the movie on a close to weekly basis, she would play out her favourite scenes and songs, and our imaginative play always found its way back to Arendelle.

It was an easy choice to accept the role of Duke of Weselton, so I can perform this sweeping musical along with my daughter, who has grown up and found new interests, but this is something special we can share together.

She will be part of the ensemble with a few solo lines and fun moments, too.

This is a ridiculously talented cast, and in traditional Playful Fox fashion, it has very unique ideas and terrific direction, and it is going to be a fun, epic time for the family.

The tickets are flying with well over 2 thousand sold, so if you haven't gotten your seats yet, don't delay. We'd love to see you there!

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Everett About to Descend on the Stage Next Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Sat, 2 May 2026 15:54:00 -0500

In 2022, Everett performed in his first big stage musical with Newsies Jr. The ultra-talented Theresa Noon-Hunter directed that show and has been a significant part of Everett's theatrical journey ever since.

It is with great joy and pride that I announce Everett is part of her latest production, Descendants. Everett will be playing the role of Doug, who is the son of the famous dwarf Dopey. If you love your Disney characters and always wondered what their offspring would be like, then this is the musical for you (and your whole family).

Everett has been devoting months to this show, and I know he is really excited. He would love to see you there. He will be performing this week at BCI on Friday night and two shows on Saturday.

You can get tickets here.

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Just Me

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Fri, 1 May 2026 15:51:00 -0500

One of the biggest challenges that thwack me right in the face is the idea of 'doing it right'. Looking at the creators I admire, and even though they each have their own unique style and types of niche, measuring up how much my own output compares.

This obviously seeps from my 'all-or-nothing' roadblocks, where if I miss a certain day or a review doesn't perfectly capture what was in my head, then the world will likely implode.

I constantly look at my site, podcasts, newsletter, and career, and ruminate if I'm doing this 'right'. Right means how it compares to other creators.

But that is ridiculous. I don't have readers or listeners because I am like someone else. And the online world doesn't need yet another creator to follow the same routine and style.

I need to snatch back my voice and be alright that sometimes a movie review will be 150 words or a deep thought will have to trickle out in a series of short posts. I need to run my platforms my way while still crafting and delivering my best possible work. But that doesn't mean a certain word count or following what worked for others.

May is going to be a huge month. I am going to try to regain my voice. Write about pop culture but also focus on my personal touch, love of storytelling, and exploring neurodivergence. It will likely be messy and won't go the way I want, but who knows, maybe it will turn out all the better.

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Reality Check

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 15:41:00 -0500

Here we are. I am writing a post for April 30th, and it is April 30th.

I'm not scrambling to throw together 5 posts in an attempt to 'catch up' and date them with long-past numbers.

My brain is soothed. But at this exact moment, I have little assurance that the cycle will not flow through again. Or that my career will gallop along a shiny path. No promises of increased subscribers, new readers, or landing well-paying work.

Nothing but the possibility that one rather sabotage-filled routine has hit the end. At this moment, at least.

I am in a spot where making around a thousand dollars in the next 20 days would be a golden lifeline. My past and my shattered confidence are convinced that for this to happen, I need a miracle. My life says sometimes those happen.

My podcast numbers are so low that ad money from episodes accumulates to the equivalent of about 6 coffees over a few months. My ads are currently disabled on the site, with the money earned at around $16.00 since October, and the only way to activate them is to spend a few hundred dollars I don't have.

I do have pledges for the Life on the Balcony newsletter, but I can't access that until I launch the paid tier, and I want to actually be producing work before I do that.

So, can I reach a thousand dollars in 20 days? Maybe. If I suddenly land a surprising amount of well-paying work out of nowhere, and everything falls in place where I can activate ads, launch a paid tier, and maybe even sell a PDF of my best work that you know. . . actually sells a humble amount.

But for now, I want May to be a very successful and entertaining month here on the site. Being caught up means there is at least a shot.

Now, the real work begins.

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This is the Plan, Stan

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Wed, 29 Apr 2026 16:00:00 -0500

Or whatever your name is. This isn't just for Stan. This is for all my readers of the site.

The Movie Breakdown will return to weekly Mondays. On postings. It will include reviews of actual 2026 releases.

Then on Wednesdays, I'll get going with the Substack newsletter again. I'll start planning towards having the serialized fiction launched on Friday or Saturday. The day I don't post serialized fiction should have a new release review.

I'll continue to write about neurodivergence, but the main goal is to get my movie writing and storytelling back on track.

Some days may just be links to other places I've published. But for the most part, I'm going to try to get this back into gear, but also be gentle on myself knowing there will lot of stumbles. But lots of 2026 is left, and so this can still be a winner.

Thank you for your patience.

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If You Just Happen to Be Sitting on Tons of Cash. . .

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Tue, 28 Apr 2026 12:39:00 -0500

And you've always been a fan of my work, and you want me to be able to create rather than feel overwhelmed by taxes, debts, mental health, and bills, then I'd be eternally grateful if you'd either consider donating some money my way as a thank you for my years of work or consider hiring me to create copy for your business or publication.

I'm also going to launch the paid tier for my newsletter soon, so you can consider becoming a paid subscriber, where you'll get fiction and deep dive movie reviews.

As always, I'm very grateful for your support.

Maybe May?

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Mon, 27 Apr 2026 12:21:00 -0500

The plan was to finally post a podcast episode today, but it didn't turn out that way. I have several non-writing things I really need to do, along with upcoming appointments, and a desperate need to land way more work. Simply put, my brain and executive function is crashing, and my days feel about 5 minutes long. My hope is that the start of May can herald the 'fresh start' that always entices me but mostly disappoints me.

All that to say, I haven't forgotten you, and I haven't given up on creating fun things for this site and beyond.

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All Worth It

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Sun, 26 Apr 2026 22:14:00 -0500

Things are not great right now. For lots of reasons. It has made the executive functions and ability to focus even harder than usual.

But this is family. This makes all those hard moments worth it. Because with them, the gems and treasure do appear when I'm ready to look for them.

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About Two Months Late

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Sat, 25 Apr 2026 18:09:00 -0500

Danika's birthday, along with her amazing Wings of Fire cake, made by mom.

Reason #1456 That I Love Danika

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Fri, 24 Apr 2026 15:17:00 -0500

She made the Bunny headband herself for Easter. She also gave herself a bunny tail when she actually got out of her PJs and got dressed for the day.

I Realize It is Almost May

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Thu, 23 Apr 2026 21:58:00 -0500

It is about time to relaunch that newsletter, podcast, and movie reviews, isn't it?

Do You Want Your Movie Reviewed?

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Spicer) — Wed, 22 Apr 2026 16:36:00 -0500

I've had a few PR folks reach out to me for potential interviews with their clients or to provide screeners for their clients' movies. I just want to publicly make it clear I am more than open to doing this, and have over a decade of experience reviewing and analyzing movies. Check out how to contact me over here.