a glimpse of me

watch the crowd

2011-06-22T23:44:00.000-07:00

I am a loner

I love tranquil solitude

I safeguard my emotions

I find peace here

There is a crowd outside

They look bright and happy

They lure me to join them

They have my dear ones too

I long to join them

I get near to them

I find handful of joy

I get into the crowd

They are warm

I stay for a while

Then here comes the change

They all are not well as they look

A few are too worry

A few are too busy

A few wear many faces

A few are too rich that they don't care

A few are too poor that they can't afford to live

And the rest in the race of life

I get disturbed when I am with them

I love peace and yes I want joy too

I wish If they could exist together

Oh, Life is more of peace and less of joy.

I am watching the crowd through the window.

My story of "money" -2

2011-06-12T10:16:00.000-07:00

Finally, here it comes my way
Still wonder, how long will it stay
Yes it's true as they say it come and fly

the happy part...
i am not any more broke
and not anymore dependent too

the sad part...
it never promise me to stay forever
and i can't help it either

But this time i think i know a fact about it
Learn how to save it if you can and know where to invest
If you do so, it will grow big and with it life can grow bigger.

If wishes were fishes, we’d have a fish fry

2011-04-24T14:15:00.000-07:00

Fishy, fishy in the brook! Papa catch him on a hook ! Mama fry him in a pan! Baby eat him like a man happily.

And baby doesn't mind eating them because baby was a genuinely a kid, then.

And baby has been learning fishing since then, it was always an easy time because learning has been with this motive

Early to bed! Early to rise! Fish all day! Tell big lies!

But Baby is tired of doing the same thing everyday because baby can't be called a kid anymore.

Baby wants to be a Man now, baby really wants to catch some big fish by himself and this is how baby finally finds a new motive

Life is for the fishing ! Lure the Best ! Make fishing your mission ! May all your fishes come true.

Yeah it feels like i have been sitting and fishing all day all year on a sunny day near an abandoned lake since that time i started to think of myself that am not a kid anymore. But it took me 25 years to actually realize that am not a kid anymore. Today, i hit the so-called silver jubilee. I have been doing all these learning without a real motive that is the reason i said " learning was always an easy time ". I think Learning things is always easy for everyone it only starts to look difficult when one click stop/pause on that learning and starts to act and response to the needs of life. Any which ways i don't find any good reason for celebrating this birthday yet am celebrating it with a hope that " Not just a year older, but a year better "

F.Y.I : Do you know The little master Sachin Tendulkar? ( yes, an idiotic question ) , We share the same birth day "24TH april".

Another F.Y.I. : When you celebrate birthday with gentle-mens around you won't get any birthday bumps, yes am lucky this time my new roommates are gentle dudes. It was those college days at hostel where bumps showered all over my ass, hmmmm........... those are again shield as sweet memories with passing time.

Training @ Iyogi

2011-03-18T19:51:00.000-07:00

It's been exactly fifty four days going under training in this company as an agent for the domain,Technical specialist. Whatever the job process is leave that aside. Well here i am sharing about those people whom i have met in this place. A few left after getting offers in other company and a handful of us still remains. Any which ways i am sharing a little fact of each one them that have created an impression in my mind during this span of time. It's worth putting them in words because these are something i like about them. It's the comments they often pass on to others while talking.
Ok here it goes...

1. Abhishek Pathak: " I have watched plenty of adult movies and in fact i had learn many things after watching it but the only thing i couldn't learn is that the adult mindset never develop in me. Still an amateur "

2. Chinki : "stay away from me! don't come closer, get lost " She yells to all those dude who had a drink or taken a puff of cigarette. So no trespassing her vicinity until one killed the smell.

3. Sonia: "ohh goDD noW I goT 2 kno hW ppl ADjuSt and comPROmiSE missinG college n my SweT frnZ B"coZ khidki se kood k AA sktey thyY... buTT here in IYOgi gateSS r biometriC.... and NO BUNK... :) :) ..... buTT on daa otheR syd iT sounDS gud wen PplL calls mEE MA'M ...... and mY PG cook and pG maTEs asks mE DAt " aaj OFFICE nhI Gyi """"""............. :) :) ....... hahaa oofficeee..................... pEHLE toH sAB bolTE thy school jaoo college jao tution jaooo ... anDD noWWW OFFICEE....... hahahaa........ :) " ..I copied it from her personal notes.

4. Parikhshit: " Every damn single thing just went over my head"   This how he breaks his silence after attending a tiring session of training class, to which he had put his effort to crack down the technical stuffs.

5. Navhnit: " yes, she got more height than i do but again i don't mind" This is how he describes his girlfriend's height . And it will always be even he get change his girl because he is just under five feet. No offence to him i love his simplicity, in fact a very sweet comment.

6.Sheifalee: " okie tell me something more"   Her favorite line she often use to keep alive a dying conversation at time we sit bore that also after taking a deep sigh.

7. Sunny Paji : " one day! she will come to me and sob out keeping her head on my shoulder"   Comment he pass to every pretty girl that he sees hanging around with another dude in the office campus.

8. Ankit: " sorryyyyyyyyyyy..."   He pulls it long with style, humor and with little sarcasm every time someone pass a nasty comment to him.

9.Satyam : "I am literally telling you ........... and you know! i get little physical after getting drunk."   This is his signature line he used after getting drunk on every occasion. How often he use the word "literally".

10. Anurag verma: "Ok! I will buy that" When someone come up with a logical reason or ideas that is unconvincingly practical during conversation on certain topic, this becomes his complimentary line.

11. vandna: "....... ....... aaahhh what?" Every time she starts talking something serious/important in english she starts fumbling her words. It's not that she can not speak a decent English but the problem might be her think-tank works quite fast and her lips fails to sync or it lags behind which in Electrical term is called "out-of-phase". Just a random guess!

12. Manu : " Welcome to Iyogi tech service.... ...... ..... Thank you for choosing iyogi tech services, Good Karma."   Well he is most skilled speaker among all of us. Impressive! the way he handles the business conversation.

13 Abhishek sharma : "Sang-thu " This is how he pronounce "Shakthu"

14. Anurag Paul: "... ummmm"   He goes mum every time our trainer ask him question, as he is our trainer's target. But recently ha has improve a load. Good work!

14. Anuj : "It's easy to get an Elephant but it's hard to feed and tame them as pet" Only line to console his own feeling after gazing dozens of glimpse of cars that kept passing us while we sit leisure after shift time is over in the office lawn. From Mercedes to BMWs to Porsche, all mouth watering.

15. Pavit: "No! By doing hitch-hiking!"   He replied the same when i asked him Did you missed the office cab service? Loved his answer, he still find adventure in the way he come office which is 5 or 6 km far from his residence. Not a normal routine though he does on a few occasion. Adventurous dude.

16. Puneet:

Capturing these little moments that i had observed and experienced during all these days in my training days with my batch mate in fact make me learn the person in them. So far it's going good. Training would be getting over after a week or two and moving into the production floor will all together be a different think which is yet to experience. Well for time being the motto is "Work while you can ! Work can also be a fun". I am keeping it simple for now and as such i haven't exposed myself to the real work load even though i hope and believe things will always remain simple as it is now. It all our perceptions that make the little differnece, I guess so! For Puneet i won't forget i will fill their space as soon as i observed something very peculiar about him. And by the by, "shakthu" it's a profane word which is in my Manipuri dialect.

I think

2011-03-18T16:53:00.000-07:00

I think only once before i buy myself a bottle of beer and about other concerns i hesitate to think, in fact i hardly think because they doesn't come to my mind. This is how my mind works these days.
Is it my mind settings' fault or the Beer's fault or maybe nothing is wrong at all.

no one knows

2011-01-19T22:54:00.000-08:00

a faith or a fake?

For every heartbreaking failures fate is always an easy excuse and for those heartbreaking failures a hope for a better next time is always a motivating source.

illusion

2010-11-30T12:48:00.001-08:00

It's never easy to remain stick to a thing for a long time, one should either move on or pass it on or else things become an illusion and so does life. Nothing in life stays forever everything changes and whatever that persists to stay for long is only an illusion.

Sweet November

2010-11-15T06:33:00.000-08:00

Sweet November, Keanu Reeves & Charlize Theron, not many days ago I had watch this movie, though the story is little unusual I liked the romance in it. And the coincidence is, November is here again, trying to evoke the feeling in me which I used to cherish to my best, once. I had no clue that it can be as sweet as it is today before seven years. Let me say the content of my thoughts without much irony because it’s a subject not new anymore yet it has its unique everlasting charm and that’s it never gets stale.
Being truly a single from the beginning was easy. One always has many options to freak out/chill out his mind (as my friend say-so and to which I agreed). Live life simple as it comes expecting the least of sympathy from anyone. But being single all again after having a sweet affair where one had given everything he could, seems to have made life a little dull. No longer has any interest, life rolled on its own without being influence much by the glitters that are blinking around and just kept pretending to be interested. And my consciences questioned me many time is it still worth caring the sentiments. Consciences, how often they make me feel stupid. But our inner instinct or say our heart, they can be stubborn at times especially in such instance. Consciences provide me not one but many right reasons to follow them yet I fear them because they speak many minds and ultimately against all those reasons I kept glued to my heart’s wish, and it still gives me a sense of contentment.
I don’t know for sure that is it hard to find true love and I heard the world goes gaga over it a lot. I also happened to struck on something of that sort. Well it was beautiful, beauty that defies the rest of other natural phenomenon. Such beauties are that sort of thing which is never tiring even after getting used to it. And the funny part is, when you give away your heart you have given your brain too. (Don’t doubt about it, it’s damn true.)
She came into my life all of a sudden, filled my life with many surprises and made my admiration and belief in our love grow so big. And happiness of course cannot last forever, it didn’t last any longer. She left me and sailed away far without leaving a hint. That was the time I thought I had become a phoney. I thought I had wasted my life at that time it slipped away from my hand. I prayed that every grand memory just get vanish leaving behind only a name in vague, which is impossible, impossible because she has already planted in me the seeds of hope, passion and endurance. Season bids away. As I have perfected the art of nurturing feelings with utmost care. The passion in me never dies. Passion creates a life out of life. Life is worth living until one have a passion within, and it can be anything in my case it happens to be this love. It can bring absolute joy and sometime one even get succumb to it. After all these year I have learned that absolute happiness last only for a moment, the instant you first get a feel of it and the next moment it’s never the same again, though it persists to stay, it only seems to be great as ever, it’s not genuine any more. Like, in case of love. But a soulful love cannot be replaced nor can it be filled with any other alternative. And it continues to stay forever.
Feelings melt away slowly, memories promise to stay a little longer thus making all the difference.

“Moments, promises, excitements, compassion, obsessions....I had it all, and with time it has all dried up. Only memories linger around. Life all scattered into pieces, hoped of settling life back on track again, Started to look forward for something new and never dare to look back. But I always find myself standing back still on the way where we have ended.”

November, a month filled with celebration and I am missing a few, this time.

Delhi-Dengue

2010-09-11T12:01:00.000-07:00

Big crowds, noisy vehicles, construction works here and there, fast and hasty life styles, a lot of new faces and a few more things are those which i still find hard to coordinate with. I know life would be little tough here no doubt! i have landed up here with a desperate hope to buy a kind of dream, a healthy platform for my own so as it brings me a good progressive change to me as a consequence. And It's been a month I have wandering with this new vibes. Among all these, the very first thing to challenge me and my patience is "d-d-Dengue!!". The encounter lasted for a whole week. Dengue gave me a real bad time. And among all the things that I had gone through Dengue make me missed my home so badly, forget the sufferings, because my doctor was trying everything to relief me from the pains but home I can't ask him either. I thought Dengue had kicked the brake to my hard gain motivated momentum to work but it was not all true. During that dreadful Dengue period my body had ceased to move, appetite all wasted , I can't even eat a bowl of rice but during all those time my mind didn't ceased to think. So many thoughts were wondering in the vicinity of my mind including when will I get up again. In fact it gave me a solitude time to think many concerns of my present life. Even though I still can't find the final solution yet it make me realize "why I am here?" and it's importance, all again. But when one started thinking too much without the thoughts being applied to actual practice, mind starts to split, and conflict of mind is no good it increase the depth of frustration. Ok, enough! this is about the Deadly Dengue's wonder.

And by the way I am not the only dengue victim, Dengue also caught two of my very good friend, one still in the fight. Today I read in the "Times of India" that total dengue cases that has registered in Delhi till yesterday for this season is "a whopping 3-6-8-0!!!". I am sure I must be in their count. Hmmh!

Delhi is a haunted place, it's home to many such sophisticated weird diseases. Delhi is not the only place which is dirty there are lot other places with same essence of dirt like Delhi, but when it comes to outbreak of diseases, Delhi comes quite often at the top of everyone. Delhi 's a wonderland for sure.

place and it's people

2010-09-05T05:21:00.001-07:00

I used to love them both and with time it changes, feelings, no longer the same. Still I long to go there because I had my memories there but the hatred among them keeps me away and here I am wandering in a no man's land and it's been a while.

the hungry man

2010-04-16T12:31:00.000-07:00

He has won enough to celebrate.

Still he hasn't won enough to satisfaction.
That's why he always remain hungry.

summer

2010-04-16T12:15:00.000-07:00

i cut my hair too short that i can't even comb
now it's lighter and better and i called it as "summer cut".
i drink a lot more than i eat still i feel thirsty.
oh! this summer, how can i shoo it away?
Nor i can't run and escape.

this is the summer i know from where i stay...
what's yours?

the old lady

2010-04-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

“It‘s 9 a.m” says my alarm clock, one of my most faithful assets, every morning at 9. I will keep it on snooze for a while or i will just wake up, rubbing my eyes i will walk through the balcony to collect the newspaper and i will browse it once. (Hmmh... i have a habit of staying awake till late night....i guess you know such stuffs well, ha ha!!! all the late night talks with friends, watching movies, surfing internet or reading books etc etc... ) And hah!! At present i am strictly following “late to bed late to rise doesn’t makes a man healthy but it can still make a man wealthy and wise ;) ;) ”...anyway jokes apart, and then I will get ready for college and have to reach there before 11. Before setting out for college i have to visit Harsa aunt’s place for meal, she runs a Tiffin cum a mess service. It only takes 3 minutes from my PG room to get there. Every time i enter aunt’s house i would find her mother-in-law sitting or laying on the bed, very neatly and tidily, watching TV in their living room. She will greet me with a smile and sometimes she will even utter some words in "Guajarati" to me which i hardly can understand.. (No problem!!!) i would smile her back. After the meal i will rush for college... well! This is how my normal day starts....ok i will cut it short....

Right away from here till the time i get back from college... i had met a lot of people on my way, walked the sun, drove in the rickshaw, attend a few lectures and bunk the rest, sip a coffee at the corner after college and i had my share of fun for a day with all my friends. Describing it in a different way

...I had shared a range of emotions and thoughts with a range of people belonging to different realms of work and age all in a single day through multiple activities...

and when i get back into my room... it’s almost evening... i will take a nap or i will read something to keep myself busy. And oh!!! by the time it’s time for supper, again. i go to aunt’s place.. There i will find the old lady, her mother-in law, on the same bed. We will do our greetings as usual. Yes it has become a habit.So this is my schedule for a normal day ( sometimes it alters a lot...hah!!!)

However there is a thought that has been rambling through my mind for quite a few days , i didn’t thought about it seriously before but now it's grasping my mind firmly. Every day as i visit my aunt’s place i will always find the old lady in the same place doing her usual stuffs... Yes she is quite old. And i would wonder how would she manage to spend the day as she does... Because i still find my day not so purposeful or maybe i can say boring after certain amount of activities i had. It’s not that i feel very sad for the old lady that she is a victim of what we says “old Age”... No doubt! she has also had her own share of life before getting till here, sometimes i think it would have been nice to see her smile, with her eyes cast down just as a normal pretty good girl used to do...but she had left those days quite a long way back.

The old lady’s mere presences, the little interaction with her truly remind me the fact that i am in the prime period of my life, the one we term as “youth” and she has make me believe even more deeply that life is indeed very precious. I have only made a little comparison of "time" taking her as one parameter but in return i got to learn a lot from it. She truly inspire me to know the essence of time in one’s life. Yeah at this point, i feel sad that everyone’s life is ebbing away with every passing day. We never know we are losing so many precious things every day.Knowing this fact again, it’s not that we can embrace life so tightly nor we can’t change our mind and habits at a whim and start doing nasty things... (yup! This would be crazy). Nevertheless, if there is anything i can try to save, that would be only "money" but when it comes to time and having fun.. no way!!! i can’t save them for tomorrow. (how can one try to save it?) That’s why i now give my thumbs up to the motto “enjoy life to the fullest”. Every day is a dream comes true, ( Is it?? )

This is a simple but a thoughtful experience i had after meeting the "old lady", recently. I had shared only a smile but not words... yet this slightest experience has made the appetite in me to embraces life grow huge.

" a new lease on life"

speaker and listener

2010-04-07T05:10:00.000-07:00

"the most patient and the most enthusiast listener of all is the speaker himself"

the two ultimate...

2010-04-07T04:46:00.000-07:00

a man fall in love with the one he aspire to make his own forever.

a man also falls in love with the one who will be gone forever.

child

2010-04-07T04:34:00.000-07:00

Make the child play with sand and dust in the sun and then give him the sweets.

i am intelligent

2010-03-28T15:33:00.000-07:00

I think I am intelligent, I think I have a great mind too but what makes me sad is that I keep losing them at times when I need it the most.

"HIM"

2010-03-26T13:38:00.000-07:00

I have faith in "HIM".

I pray to "HIM" because "HE" gives me the salve.

Every time I pray I found myself in "HIS" lap.

Yes, I can be called a religious man.

But it doesn't mean that I follow the rituals.

I am the least follower of any norms.

ashes of "love"

2010-03-22T13:07:00.000-07:00

He truly loves her...

He says " Her presence enhances the warmth of my feelings"

Again, in her remembrance...

He says " She has transformed into someone that I love and I am transformed into someone who loves her, it's not all the time. But it's enough..."

sense of humour

2010-03-22T12:13:00.000-07:00

My brother was once asked to make a sentence using the word "doubt" in his sixth standard English paper.He was not sure about the meaning of this word and nothing much came to his mind.But he always have a motto, never to leave the answer sheet empty where it is meant to be filled.

So he answered like this " I don't know how to make a sentence using the word doubt."

Well, to his answer some may say it is presence of mind, his teacher mayn't say a thing and instead give him a big zero but I would rather say my brother has a great sense of humour.

My story of "money" - 1

2010-03-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

when it comes, I am happy

when it goes, I am sad.

another similar story...

the sad part, I am always broke.

the happy part, at least I know that I am used to it.