Say What?

Ignore The Weekly Reader

2019-02-12T21:49:00.000-06:00

Growing up as a baby-boomer and attending West View Elementary School in Rockford, Illinois, one of the highlights of any week of the 1960s was the distribution of the Weekly Reader. The Weekly Reader was a current events newspaper geared to elementary aged kids. I always enjoyed the articles until "that day." That day when I opened up my Weekly Reader I stumbled on to an article with a chart that clearly defined annual family incomes as poor, low, middle and upper. I sort of knew what I thought my dad made per hour so I multiplied that out time 40 hours a week and 52 weeks a year. I did the math, looked down on the chart and came to the shocking realization that our family was low income according to the Weekly Reader editors.

I was shocked and was sure my parents had no idea about how dire our situation was. Surely this fact had slipped by them or how else could they be so happy? I was sure not going to break their hearts by letting them know. Dinner time came that night and I was much quieter than normal. Concerned my mom asked me, "Is everything OK? You seem so quiet tonight." I could not hide my fear for them any longer. I pulled out the folded periodical I had stuffed in my back pocket and pointed to the chart. "Look at this. We are low income. We are on the verge of poor. The Weekly Reader says so!"

My wise mom smiled and asked me, "Did you get new jeans this year for school? Do you have a nice house and warm room to sleep in? Don't you have a nice bike and a baseball glove to play with your friends?" I nodded and said, "Well, yes." "Then I think we are going to be OK," she said, and suddenly all was right again with the world.

It is interesting that the Bible tells us who we are and who we can be in Christ and we should be fine with that, but along comes the internet, media, commercials and self defeating comparison and we forget who we are and whose we are. Don't let this world define you as poor, inferior and defeated. Listen to the One who made you, knows you best and loves you most. Learn to count your blessings and ignore your Weekly Reader.

Don't Worry. Choose Happy!

2015-07-02T17:00:00.002-05:00

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” — Abraham Lincoln

Old honest Abe got it right. Do find yourself worrying about whether or not you are making this person happy or that person happy as if it was your duty to make others happy? Well here is some good new! Give it a rest. You do not even have the ability to make other people happy. Happiness is a choice and you and others have to choose to be happy in the midst of what is happening. The Bible calls it joy. A peace that cannot be understood because others base happiness on what is happening, while wise people realize joy is a choice in the midst of what is happening. So take the advice of honest Abe and don't worry, choose happy!

Sympathy or Solution?

2015-02-27T19:16:00.001-06:00

It is really important to know when people want a solution from you, versus when they simply want sympathy from you. This is especially true for guys. If you are not convinced just check out this video and I think you will agree. I think the video hits the nail on the head or well, you get it.

Not lonely is not the same as in love

2013-05-26T20:03:00.001-05:00

Young adults who leave the excitement and energy of so many friends from high school and college can often find themselves lonely and alone. Along comes someone that fills the gap of alone and POW!, that person may think they are in love. Don't make the simple mistake of thinking that the absence of loneliness is the same as love. You can be alone and not lonely, but you can also be lonely and not alone. Real love will put your best interest first (and by the way if you love them you will do the same). Many a lonely heart that found a partner thought they had a found a soulmate. Make sure as you leave college and launch out into the real world that you take time to be picky and choosy in your relationships even if they are harder to find than they were on campus. What you got ain't no nicknack! Don't trade love for simply not being lonely.

Maturity is the ability to postpone pleasure

2012-10-19T21:04:00.003-05:00

Need a definition of maturity? Today's title is a pretty good one. The person who takes their own lunch to work instead of daily eating out chooses to pass on the Happy Meals in favor of a memorable feast of Filet Mignon. The person that keeps driving their used car just may be able to pay cash for a new ride down the road. You get the idea. Whether it is financial, moral, educational, spiritual or other; the person who postpones temporal pleasure in the short term gives them-self the opportunity to claim the greater and higher pleasures later. Many a senior wishes they had hit the books a bit harder as a freshman. Pay now and play later or play now and pay later. Maturity IS the ability to postpone pleasure.

We all live this side of Genesis 3

2012-09-27T10:41:00.001-05:00

Thanks Greg for recently sharing a profoundly "unobviously-obvious" observation with me. We all live this side of Genesis 3! Jesus pointed out that "in the beginning it was not so." In the Sermon on the Mount He shared many examples of "you have heard it said, but I say." So what was it like in the beginning? Prior to Genesis 3, and the entrance of sin into the world it was, well, perfect. But you and I (all of us) live on this side of perfection. This side of Genesis 3. To that end Jesus pointed out in his ministry launch hillside sermon that the religious leaders had gone out of their way to tell others how good they were because they did not commit adultery, murder and more. Jesus, on the other hand, pointed out that everyone is guilty of anger, lust and greed. Ever murdered someone? You need grace. Ever been angry at someone? You need grace.This was more than a higher standard of behavior to strive for, it was a standard that no one can meet putting everyone in need of grace no matter what they have NOT done. So here we are. In need of grace everyday. Imperfect with no grounds to feel smug or righteous. Able to accept and share the truth of John 3 that we all live on this side of Genesis 3!

If you don't make the right choice, make the choice right

2012-09-26T20:57:00.004-05:00

Ever make a mistake? Sure you have. Everyone has. So now what? Well, if you didn't make a right choice, now is the time to make the choice right. You may need to confess, repent, restore, forgive or more. But do so and move on and move forward seeking to make right anything you did wrong or to move on from wrong things done to you. You cannot change the past, but you can change the future with new and better choices now. Don't live in the past, but do learn from it.

I+A=T

2012-09-08T11:20:00.002-05:00

You can study, observe and even agree with the information and facts of nutrition, fitness and training. You can even go to the gym and watch others apply that information, but until you personally apply those truths in your life, you will never see any transformation in your life. What is true in fitness is true in salvation and spiritual growth, financial management and any other area you want to grow in. Many a man or woman headed to hell agreed with the truths of the Bible, they simply did not act upon them. James said that even the devil acknowledges the facts of scripture. Most companies and individuals that go bankrupt were aware of the truth that income must be greater than out flow. Knowledge is good, but truth simply agreed upon and not acted upon is nothing more than information. Information without application will never bring transformation. Jesus put is this way, "whosoever believes IN Him should not perish." There is an eternity of difference between believing and believing in. Do the math. I+A=T Only information with application will ever bring transformation.

Puppy love is real to the puppy!

2012-09-06T23:44:00.000-05:00

Parents often blow off the heart break and emotional ups and downs of adolescent crushes. While overreacting is never smart, neither is under-reacting. While you may have the advantage of years of experience and true love insight, realize that "puppy love" is real to the puppy. Use these young relationships as opportunities for you to demonstrate your love, concern and open ear to your kids. These are teachable moments about how to deal with honest confrontation, communication and moving on. Show "dog-gone" good judgement in how you react, and they will learn how to not let bad relationships dog them for the rest of their lives.

When they trot out a mouse, look for the elephant!

2012-08-16T13:23:00.003-05:00

When people seem to over react to something that seems so small (the mouse) you can almost always assure yourself that they are hiding something much bigger (the elephant). Don't write off someone's over reaction too quickly as simply being that. It may well be that they either have an all consuming issue that they either don't want to expose yet or they are not sure if they can trust you with it. Hurt people, hurt people and you should always look for the elephant when you see too much drama over a mouse! Your problem is not your problem and it just may be that the issue is not the issue!!

Your problem is not your problem

2012-08-15T22:16:00.001-05:00

You usually find that the things that trouble you in others, the problems they seem to have that spill over onto you is really not the problem. Know what I mean? That friend that explodes with anger has a hurt. The one who struggles with addictions, lying and abuse is usually using those things to deal with their real issue. Oh yes, problems and issues are a hassle, but they are usually simply symptoms of the actual root problem. So what can you do? Dig a little deeper. Wait a little longer. Pray a little harder and realize that the problem is not their problem, but a symptom. And if YOU are trying to deal with an issue, get real and get down to your real problem. The goal is not to point fingers or make excuses, but to deal with your past so you do not drag it into your future. You can't change your past, but you can change your future.

Talk to me, not about me!

2012-08-15T08:53:00.002-05:00

Confrontation really is the greatest thing you will most likely never do! Out of your fear of thinking you will only make a situation worse by talking to someone, how can you think that talking about them is better? Gossip is anything negative (even if true) you tell others that they have no power to do anything positive about. Confrontation is when you speak the truth in love to someone who can use it to make a positive difference. If you have been guilty of talking about people rather than talking to them, ask yourself how that has worked for you so far. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Talk to them, not about them and you just might solve an issue rather than lose a friend!

If they will lie for you, they will lie to you!

2012-08-14T22:10:00.002-05:00

If asked to lie for someone your answer should be NO! Why? Because integrity is who you are and not something you turn on and off at will. If a boss would ask an employee to lie to cover for them, how does that boss know that the same employee would not lie to them? How does the employee know that the boss would not hesitate to do the same? You both might think the lie is doing you both a favor, but it is not. You are simply creating a culture of dishonesty and therefore saying that in certain circumstances lying is OK. Really? Whose circumstances? Yours, his or who makes the call. Employee, beware. Friend and family, beware. You are either honest or you're not!

You can't need to be needed

2012-08-01T21:47:00.005-05:00

Like the need to be loved, a leader has to make sure that they do no have a need to be needed. It is nice to be needed and we need leaders, but the leader who has to be needed is a leader that cannot and will not delegate to others. It is really a selfish attitude and not servant leadership since it really communicates, "I have to be more needed (more important) than anyone else." Thinking like this will paralyze you from empowering others and will create codependent followers, but not servant leaders and disciples.

You can't love to be loved

2012-08-01T21:41:00.002-05:00

If you have to be loved you cannot lead! Being loved is wonderful and when you can make people happy when you lead them that is icing on the cake, but the person that first and foremost has to be loved will never be in a position to make the tough calls. The hard decisions. He cannot lead. Speak the truth in love, but speak the truth and lead for the good of others and not yourself.

Do you work better under pressure, or do you only work under pressure?

2012-08-01T21:25:00.006-05:00

Procrastinators love to brag about how much better they perform when under pressure, but the truth is they really do not know for most of them only perform when under pressure! Many a student that crammed the night before the big test or did a semester term paper in a night walk around in a self induced caffeine stupor convincing themselves they really nailed it that time! If you are one of those, why not prove yourself right or wrong by actually starting something early. Giving thought to it and then rework it some more. After all, there is no good writing. Only good rewriting!

If you want to lead the orchestra you have to turn your back to the crowd

2012-08-01T21:14:00.001-05:00

Every audience loves to watch and listen as the orchestra performs. The musicians feed off of the crowd and soloists even play to the crowd, but if you want to conduct the orchestra you have to turn your back to the crowd. It is the conductor who leads the orchestra, but in doing so he/she must not focus on the crowd or the musicians, but rather on the music. Do you want to be a leader? Then you must be aware of the crowd, but you cannot play to them. You must be sensitive to the orchestra, but you have to be able to stand alone. Crowds are everywhere, musicians many, but maestros are few. Can you hear His music?

Truth is always simple, but seldom easy!

2012-07-19T10:35:00.000-05:00

Most of the great truths in life are simple, but simple does not mean easy. The fact that life is made up of basic decisions and the management of those decisions is a simple truth, yet making good choices and managing them for your entire life is not easy. Whether you are facing health, financial, spiritual, or relationship issues, look for simple answers, but be ready for the difficult task of implementing them in your life. You cannot spend more than you make, simple truth. Eat well, exercise and do it for the rest of your life; a simple truth. Do it for the rest of your life; not so easy. Embrace this simple truth; God loves you so much that He takes you where you are, but loves you too much to leave you there!

If you're going to do it, don't gripe!

2012-07-11T13:48:00.001-05:00

This one was handed to me from my wife, who got it from her mom and of course I passed it on to my kids. I don't know which is more fun, signing up for too much stuff or complaining about all of it? It is not just our kids that volunteer or sign up for little league, dance, drama and gymnastics only to complain on the way to each about "having" to go.
The truth is no one has to over schedule their life, but if you do choose to do so a sure fire truth is no one wants to hear about it. If you have too much on your plate, don't sign up next semester, but for this semester do it with a big ol' smile on your face. It is your plate. If you start it, finish it. If you hate it, don't sign up again. But please, please, please don't complain about all your extracurricular activities. After all they are EXTRA! In keeping up with all the other families you just might find yourself drifting to the rear of the pack, but that is a pretty good position for watching the rat race. Life is a marathon, not a sprint and mom did say, "Not everyone is doing it. You're not!"

The hurrier I go, the behinder I get!

2012-07-10T11:18:00.003-05:00

Guess you heard about the butcher that backed up into the meat grinder and got a little' behind' in his work! Even as I crank out this post I am to be preparing to go on a trip and as usual there are always those last minute details that have to happen, well, last minute. Here is my issue though, when under the gun my first response is not to panic or worry, but to hurry. Sure enough, I then get a little behind in my work. Work smart not hard. Plan ahead but expect the unexpected and when it comes, take your time. An earlier post still rings true. When in a rush, slow down and take your time. Measure twice and cut once is not only true for the carpenter and the butcher, but you and me as well. And that is the meat of this post!

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.

2012-07-09T21:38:00.000-05:00

Anger is driven by a sense of someone owing you something they cannot or will not pay you. It could be money, but it is more commonly a stolen childhood, innocence, joy, opportunity or relationship. So what do you do when you feel they owe "it" to you, but you know you will never get "it" back? Forgive "it." Forgive the debt. Mark it paid in full so you can move on. Forgiving others allows you to get on with your life and is something you can do even if the other person never asks for it. Do yourself a favor and set yourself free by canceling the debt that will never be paid. Take it to the bank. It's the reasonable thing to do.

You Don't Have to Sit on an Empty Nest!

2012-07-08T15:44:00.001-05:00

As soon as a child is born you begin to raise an adult. You begin the process of taking that totally dependent baby and making him/her a totally independent adult. We should not be surprised, nor saddened, by our children's adventure into adulthood that takes them out of the nest. In fact, that is the goal! Independent adulthood launched at birth. But take heart empty-nester, you don't have to sit on an empty nest! You may miss those mandatory band festivals, Friday night lights and extended prom photo sessions, but you too can spread your wings and fly as you stop sitting on that empty nest. Date again, travel, eat real food, exercise, serve, find a hobby. Do all those things you wanted to do while you were at those PTA meetings. Now just may be your time to soar as well.

If you make your children the center of your world, they may grow up thinking they are the center of the universe!

2012-07-07T11:12:00.001-05:00

It is very difficult to dedicate your entire life to your kids and then expect they will grow up to be an adult who will give themselves selflessly to others. If we think people are becoming more and more self-centered we should stop and ask ourselves, "Who put them at the center?" The little boy who got trophies for simply showing up and the princess girl who slept in her tiara every night, just might have a tough time being tossed together into a selfless marriage later on. The bottom line is that the greatest thing a couple can give their kids is a solid marriage. What every kid really wants are parents that have a strong marriage. If you really want to put your kids first do so by putting your marriage first. In the end your kids will thank you and so will the rest of the universe.

If you have to tell them you're Gregory Peck, you're not!

2012-07-05T21:08:00.002-05:00

Reputation is who folks think you are while character is who you are when no one else is around. There is nothing more frustrating than to see something in the display case window only to find out they don't have it in your size or color. When people see your life are you more or less than what they see?
The story is told that actor Gregory Peck (kids ask your parents who this is) stood at the back of a line awaiting a table at a fine Hollywood restaurant when some of the folks in line began to recognize him and wondered why he did not cut to the front and make his presence known to the hostess. Upon being questioned Peck simply responded, "If you have to tell them your Gregory Peck, you're not!" Friends, if you have to tell them your spiritual, you're not. Let's make sure we have more in the warehouse than in the showroom.

Please make sure to secure your own mask before assisting others.

2012-07-03T21:32:00.000-05:00

The flight attendant always tells you that in case of a drop in cabin pressure to calmly take the yellow mask when it drops down in front of you and put your's on first before assisting others. Oh yeah, and breath normal! What makes sense in an emergency makes sense every day. There is nothing wrong with caring for others and we are taught at an early age to live a selfless life, but taking care of yourself is one of the most selfless things you can do. What good are you to those around you if you black out first?
One of the greatest things a husband can do to care for his wife is to care for his own health while young so as to be around later to care for her. One of the most selfless things a retiree can do is save enough money for themselves so as to not be a burden financially on their kids later. Put others first by not neglecting yourself. Don't care for others to the point you have nothing left for them or you. In the end everyone will have a better flight!