My Cup Runneth Over

Aussie Migration - Our progress so far

2011-07-24T20:10:00.002+08:00

Today is day 4 and a Sunday. We feel like we've been here for weeks. We've done so much, met so many people, provided with so much information. Kinda overwhelming.

I'm sitting in bed in our host's house feeling just like that; overwhelmed. Progress so far is impressive. I thank you God for the road that has been laid right in front of us and all we have to do is just to step on it and keep walking. So far, we've gotten a rental. The property belongs to a friend of a church friend who also know our hosts Jess and Daniel. It's a 4-bedroom 2-bath in a suburb called Knoxfield. One of the rooms will be locked up to store the owner's stuff or use whenever her parents come to Melbourne. They are PRs and return a few times a year. Since the house is big enough for all of us, we don't mind sharing.

Then we've gotten all the usual stuff done; Tax Filing Number (TFN), Medicare, Bank Accounts. The TFN can directly be applied online here but you will need a mailing address. We used Jess and Daniel's address for this initially.

As for the Medicare, you can just drop by any of the major shopping centres in the suburbs and you will find Medicare offices there. KK just had to fill up a form for us and showed our passport to the nice lady. Ten minutes later we have our temporary cards in the form of computer slips printed out directly. The actual card will only arrive in a few weeks I think. Anyhow it doesn't matter as we can present our temp slips to enjoy Medicare benefits whenever we visit a clinic.

Both of us opened bank accounts with Westpac. Tomorrow will move some funds over from our online MBB account. There is a limit of 10k for online transactions on Maybank's side and we can only transfer this maximum amount at a time. I do know that if you want to transfer more than that, you will need to do it over the counter using telegraphic transfer.

We also bought a car! But then, that's a story for another day. I'm pooped!

Aussie Migration - Packing & Shipping Stuff 3

2011-07-18T22:47:00.002+08:00

HBRelo came and went. It was a smooth process of stacking, loading, form-filling and cheque-issuing, all wrapped up with a neat handshake. Even the too-large framed wedding photos that would not fit into any boxes are accepted. Nothing is left behind, so it's totally awesome. I'm glad we went for this.

Last minute labelling:

Some of the boxes:

The 3-ton truck from HBRelo that came to our house.

The boxes after our packer stacked them together to simulate how it will look within the container:

Goodbye stuff! See you again in 2 months time!

Seremban's Miracle Lake - Old Convent Site

2011-07-17T23:04:00.005+08:00

I heard the most intriguing thing today from my aunties in Seremban. We were returning from a wonderful dinner in Taman Megaway and during the trip home, we passed through the old Seremban Convent (aka Convent of the Infant Jesus) site which is now an abandoned football pitch-sized plot filled with water. This plot has been abandoned for more than a decade.

Apparently, locals believe that the water has taken miraculous qualities ala "air zam-zam". A friend's mother who had shingles (Chinese 'snake') swabbed herself with the water from the site and the sores on her skin dried up and formed scabs, leading to quick healing afterwards. Then, another guy who had stage 3 cancer swigged this same wonder drink and later walked out from the hospital with a clean bill of health. Pretty bold claims!

The Seremban Convent was demolished and rebuilt in another location when the original piece of land it stood on was jointly purchased by 2 companies (one of them Metrojaya) to erect a 7-storey shopping centre complete with entertainment outlets, bowling alleys and restaurants. However, due to the economic crisis in 1997, all construction work stopped. Three levels below ground were completed at that time before it was discontinued. This body of water is actually 3-storeys deep!

The land was acquired based on an agreement to relocate the school and the statue of Mary. However the latter term was not adhered to and the statue was simply thrown into a rubbish pile.

Soon after that, the project site mysterious filled up with water coming from underground. No matter how much the engineers and workers tried to siphon out the water, it just kept filling up again and again! It was then when the project was abandoned and the water completely covered the 3 base levels (easily 60 feet deep) together with the water pumps and machinery.

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According to Aunty, there was a man who was at the edge of the water who was trying to fill up some bottles. He slipped and fell into the water and his cries for help alerted a security guard who was stationed nearby. Apparently, the guard jumped in to help and during the dive, he claimed to have seen the Mother Mary statue at the bottom of the lake with her head still bowed in eternal prayer. I was thinking, if you could see 3 storeys deep into a lake, the water has to be super clean!

The freaky part about it, is the water level of the miracle lake does not decline or increase despite heavy torrential rain or long drawn-out droughts. It is also inhabited by tropical fishes and plant life. On a good day, you can even see waves on the surface of the water!

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Some people take the miracle lake as an eyesore, while some think of it as a blessing. I take it as Nature getting back at Man. Fascinating, ain't it?

Coloring at Home

2011-07-17T16:44:00.004+08:00

Abby is so into colouring books and stickers nowadays. What she loves best is to sit with us at the dining table (while we're on our laptops) and colour and print stuff onto her art block. She has the full supply of crayons, color pencils, magic pencils, Mickey mouse chops, stickers, you name it!

I bought Abby a pair of plastic kid scissors in hopes that she can learn to cut stuff and play crafting with mommy but at this point she's still struggling to hold it properly. Once in a while, she would manage to make a small snip and that will please her so immensely!

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She would, however, absolutely not allow you to teach her. She would look at initial demonstrations, but not more than that. Such a smart-aleck. This kid is stubborn. Don't wanna contemplate how she will be when she's in her teens.

Also noticed that Abby could be left-handed. Another creative person in the family. Praise the Lord :)

S2 Park in Seremban

2011-07-17T16:20:00.004+08:00

We went to the S2 Park yesterday with Abby. Weather was great, with minimal haze and slightly cloudy. There was a great breeze and it wasn't hot at all.

Surprisingly, the park is very well-kept with a huge lake. Fish-feeding is allowed too. Unfortunately we only had time for playground-time for Abby before rushing off to somewhere.

There were a few security guards scattered all over the place. One of them even cautioned my husband to not sit on the seesaw with my daughter as adults are not to use the playground facilities! So strict, but then if this level of control played a role in the great maintenance of the park, I don't mind.

Playground parts and props are all spick and span. Some are aged but functioning well. Grass and hedges are trimmed. It's really gorgeous! Haven't had a such a relaxing time in a Malaysian park for the longest time.

After a while the skies grew cloudy and it started to rain. We ran back to the car and went instead to the newest McDonalds drive-tru outlet in Kepayang for some munchies. There's an indoor playground in there too!

Sweet smiles all around from the ice cream and fat saturated food. Thank God for times like these!

Aussie Migration - Packing & Shipping Stuff 2

2011-07-17T15:34:00.006+08:00

Finally gotten the quotation from HBRelo. Details as below:

Our breakdown charges as follows:
1) Origin service and ocean freight up to Melbourne port -RM 2,650.00
2) Destination service upon arrival Melbourne port up to your residence inclusive of AQIS fees, destination port, wharfage, NVOCC fee, Delivery order fees and THC charges- RM 6,100.00
Total: RM 8,750.00

There are 25 boxes. It will take 2 months including quarantine. Door to door service.

Still pricey but at least will have some peace of mind that the boxes will arrive at our doorstep, with other people handling the clearance, quarantine, transportation, etc.

Will need to fill up and provide the below:
2) Photo-copy of passport (all pages including blank pages and visa)
3) Completed Australian Custom form
4) Marine insurance form (3.5% of total estimated value)
5) Packing list

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The plus point of going with relocators like HBRelo instead of Air Asia Cargo is that our boxes could be collected ahead of time before we fly off, and stored in a temporary storage. Until we get a rental in Australia, we will only provide a 'care-of' address. Once we have an actual address, we can email the relocator. Timing-wise, this is more convenient for us.

On top of that, they also accept cheque, unlike AirAsia Cargo who only works with cash. AirAsia Cargo sends the lorry over with the weighing machine. For all the boxes you want to ship, they will weigh and require the total bill be settled in cash. So if its tens of thousands, you'll still have to pay in cash. Headache!

Boxes will be collected tomorrow. We issue a cheque and don't have to think of it anymore. Ah, bliss.

Aussie Migration - Translating your Malaysian Documents

2011-07-17T14:44:00.004+08:00

Before you fly off, do remember that some of your Malaysian documents still hold some importance in transitioning your old life in Malaysia to your new one down under. Most of the Malaysian documents are not directly acceptable by Australian government bodies. You will need to provide translated copies of your documents in order to apply for certain things in Australia.

You will want to translate the below:
1) Marriage certificate
2) Driving License
3) Birth certificate

While in Malaysia

If you're still in Malaysia, you can translate your documents via Persatuan Penterjemah Malaysia (PPM) aka Malaysia Translators' Association.

As PPM is located quite far in KL @ Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka in Jln Maharajalela. You can also give them a call at 03-21424381.

Last time I called, the nice lady there told me that I can courier my documents over and they can translate and courier the copies back to me. Each translation of a standard sort of document costs around RM40. An additional RM10 for courier charges if you need the translations posted back to you. Any additional copies will incur a following RM10. All this is payable by cheque issued to Persatuan Penterjemah Malaysia.

For the Malaysian Driving License, you have another option of requesting for your 'butir-butir lesen pemandu' from any JPJ branch. This is actually cheaper (RM10) and takes only 15 mins - 1 hour (depending on how busy that branch is). Just let the officer know that you need the information on your driving license for in English in order to apply for a road test in Australia.

KK and I got our driving license translated this way in JPJ. It was pretty painless. Do remember to bring a photostat copy of your IC and Lesen kopi ok? :)

While in Australia

Sure you could do it when you're in Australia, but it will cost you a pretty penny.

Not having done this myself, but based on research, you could get this done via the High Commission of Malaysia. It is cheap. The catch is, however, the place is in Canberra. It might prove to be a problem if you're actually settling down elsewhere in Australia.

As far as I know, the only way to translate documents is via NAATI.

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You can go through the website to locate the nearest NAATI-certified translator and engage the right person to do the job. I am not sure on the charges but I heard it could go up to AUD75 per document.

Be sure to translate all your legal documents before you land. It will be useful to have at least a translated copy of each of the document with you when you land. Bear in mind that you will also need to bring the originals!

Striving for a Natural & Drug-free Birth

2011-07-17T00:05:00.002+08:00

When I was pregnant with my first, family and friends flooded me with congratulations and well-wishes. As felicitations slow down to a steady trickle, the horror stories started; the excruciating long labour, usage of forceps and vacuum, and so on. It was bothering me quite a bit until at one point of time, my mother took hold of me and told me the most important thing every pregnant woman should know; that every healthy woman has the innate ability to give birth without external intervention. Our bodies are equipped to give birth naturally without drugs.

God has designed our bodies to know what to do for some things like wound-healing or fighting off a cold. When it come to giving birth, I still think that doing it as how nature meant it to be, to be the best way. This is, however, only for mothers who are not facing any medical complications during the pregnancy or labour.

If you are planning for a drug-free natural delivery, these are the main areas to be aware of.

Induction of Labour

Induction might be recommended for various reasons, so it is crucial for the mother to evaluate if the reasons for doing so are valid. Unless there is a real reason to do so, do not opt to be induced. Your doctor cannot switch labour on at will. Putting drugs into your body to force contractions will result in adverse reactions that will block the body's natural mechanisms from functioning correctly during labour.

Despite the side effects from the procedures and drugs, induction without cervical ripening will greatly intensify the contractions within a short period of time, resulting in more intense pain. Research also shows that induction in first-time mothers considerably increases the likelihood of a Caesarian section.

There are several natural ways of inducing labour that are gentler to our bodies. If you are past your due date, your obstetrician might offer a 'membrane sweep' during the final few antenatal appointments. Your O.B. will 'sweep' with a finger around the your cervix to separate the membranes from the baby. Usually, this brings on the release of prostaglandins which could bring on labour. This could be done a few times and should by right be tried before you consider other options of induction.

Usage of Epidural

Epidural seems to be a popular choice of pain relief during labour. I have heard and read of many good experiences with this procedure. There are, however, side effects to this procedure besides the rare postnatal back / leg numbness, etc.

Epidural can slow down contractions and thus, prolonging labour. This psychologically and physically drains the mother. Following this, it could also increase the possibility of a Caesarian section, usage of forceps and vacuum, as well as induction.

The mother will also not be able to feel the contractions coming on and will not know when to push. Women on epidural will need to rely on doctors and nurses when it comes to pushing. This is called 'purple pushing' or directed pushing. It increases the chance of a tear at the perineum and it is most difficult and tiring for the mother.

Inarguably, epidural is still one of the most effective procedure in pain management for labour. Some of my friends swear by it and cannot imagine going through the last stages of contractions without it. However, before deciding on it, please be aware of the potential side effects that could be detrimental to your plan for a natural birth.

Fear is your Enemy

Childbirth IS painful, but the majority of the pain happens during the 'active labor' phase. This is when the contractions come fast and thick and your body is stretching the cervix so the baby can move into the birth canal out into the world.

Avoid getting admitted too early into the hospital. Most doctors will just check your dilation and ask you to come back if you are not ready. Some mothers get admitted too soon and ended up in the hospital bed, strapped to monitors for more than 10 hours. This is extremely taxing mentally with all the flurry of activity in a highly-pressured environment. Be aware, however, of the situations when you need to go to a hospital immediately, e.g. leaking of fluids, abnormal bleeding, etc.

You will hear many different versions from different people. The best thing you can do for yourself is to read up on the stages of childbirth and what each of their tell-tale signs are. This way, you will understand what your body is going through when your labour starts. In addition to that, you and your partner can make an informed decision should any complications occur during labour.

During labour, remind yourself that the "real pain" is just momentary. For me, having my husband with me helped. I was able to scream and rant at him between contractions and he was there to comfort me when there were no nurses about. After everything was over, we were able to revisit the events that unfolded and it significantly bonded us. He was appalled with the goriness of it all, but he was glad he was there when our baby was born.

Lastly, relax and believe that your body knows what to do. Pray hard and hope for the best!

For more information on birthing naturally, please visit: www.givingbirthnaturally.com/.

Keluarga Epal

2011-07-15T14:30:00.004+08:00

I got myself a MacBook after quitting my IT job. I was using the company laptop for 8 years so I've never actually had a lappie of my own. As KK got a MacBook Pro but missed out on the OS update, I thought getting a MacBook now with that OS update feature would benefit him too. Yours truly ended up with a MacBook White from Sunway Pyramid Machines outlet. The idiot of a salesguy gave me the wrong size Quirky PowerCurl cable coiler.

Seriously, if you're a sales man in Machines and you see an auntie coming in to buy a MacBook, you would assume she might not know that the adapters come in 45W, 60W and 85W. The one I got should go for the 60W one, but Mr. Salesguy gave me the 85W one instead. We only realised we got the wrong one after reaching Seremban and when KK tried to coil the cables into the thingie for me. Aiyo, face palm moment.

I called the store and they said I need to return it on the same day. After huffing and puffing and speaking to the store manager, Gerald, we managed to get him to agree to an exchange from the 85W coiler to the 60W the following week. It's just not possible to make another trip to KL amidst the packing and paperwork runs in the next few days.

Despite the drama, I am happy with the laptop. Learning curve is minimal as hubby is the resident Apple Genius. My only gripe is that the bottom rubber anti-traction layer is too white. It is now dirty with much dragging and pushing of the laptop on the greasy dinner table. Besides that all is good. I don't mind the sharp edges of the laptop. When my wrist start to hurt from resting on 'em edges too long, I am reminded to take a break and take care of my daughter. :D

Then yesterday, we used VLC Player to run a DVD. Halfway running, I noticed the Dock went missing. Nothing in the Setting we changed we could bring it out again. Only by checking and unchecking the 'Hide Dock' option managed to force it out again. Then when I tried opening Adobe Photoshop, it's freaking slow? Initial startup???

Doubting the stability of the OS lol. Please don't flame me.

Hubby has a 'cleaning cloth' fetish. He has a collection of multi-colored multi-fibered multi-textured wiping cloths from various toys (LCDs, Ipod, Ipad, Screen protectors, etc). He keeps wiping my MacBook and insists I need a keyboard protector. Aiyo no need la. Dirty ma dirty lo... wear and tear ma. Otherwise use 10 years also cannot change later.

I am very particular about desktop wallpapers though. Must have T&A. Electra below doing the birthing squat.

My daughter has an 'Epal' from Tesco. I guess this is the good way to encourage the family to support original software.

The Macbook edges are killing my wrists. This tells me it's time to wrap up.

Aussie Migration - Tax Clearance

2011-07-14T14:30:00.006+08:00

One of the least fun things we had to do before able to leave Malaysia properly is to ensure changes to corresponding address for bank statements, bills, insurance policies, etc...as well as notifying relevant parties of your intention before going off. These varies from painless to the extreme-pain-in-the-butt. Tax clearance could cause you to blow a fuse or two if you don't go prepared.

When I quit my job, I was not aware that my final salary will be held until I go to LHDN and do an official tax clearance exercise with them. My HR department issued me a CP21 Leavers' form instead of the annual EA form. The format is very much similar where my total salary to date and deductions are listed. I then had to bring the form to my home LHDN branch and submit it.

My home branch is in Damansara Perdana and it was the first time I was there. It's a huge beautiful wisma with lots of convenient parking spots within the offices. I brought my past years documents in case they want to do some sort of audit thing but in actual fact it was not needed. After taking a waiting number, I sat down in front of a friendly officer who quickly browsed through my tax history. He announced that everything is in place and I just have to do a quick fill up of the 2011 taksiran to record down all up to date earnings, etc. As it is still in the middle of 2011 when I did this, they do not have a 2011 BE form at that time and just got me a 2010 old form to fill in. Filling it up was a quick affair where I just used my CP21 information to record down my earnings and deductions. Luckily I remembered to also bring my book receipts for 2011 and was able to log them down for rebate.

Once all this is done, the form and the relevant attachments (receipts, CP21, etc) were submitted to the officer and it was done. I will need to wait for a maximum of 30 days to have this processed, however I was told that it should be faster than that. LHDN will issue a Clearance Letter, one sent to me and another to my HR department to advice them on what to do with my final month pay. For most cases, having your taxes done in the middle of the year, you will end up with rebates. So on top of my rebates, I'll be expecting also my final month pay to be untouched. I've yet to receive anything as it's only 2 weeks since I submitted for this so I'll update this post once I see the final result.

Despite this, KK had a different experience altogether. His LHDN home branch is in Seremban and he had to fill the 2011 forms on the spot just like me. Then the lady officer asked him to provide all photostated copies of EA forms and his passport. Because he only brought his originals and did not bring his passport, he had to go for the second time.

During KK's second visit, the lady officer looked at his EA form and told him that KK was missing his 2005 form. KK filled this up on the spot. Then, the officer asked for ALL his receipts since the year he started working. KK asked if he is being audited year by year and at last the lady confirmed it. We were kinda upset with all the runaround we were subjected. During the first visit, she should've told KK that they will be needing to audit him for all the years he worked. If we knew this, we would've come prepared with all the computer receipts, etc. Due to the fact that it was all rushed, there were a few documents which we could not produced. Ended up all those years kena recalculated and kena pay a total of RM2k.

KK managed to get the clearance letter on his 3rd visit. It is good in the sense that he can have his salary released now. For myself, I'm stil waiting. I just hope I don't get held up at the airport later!

Aussie Migration - Packing & Shipping Stuff

2011-07-12T21:24:00.006+08:00

We have a total of 25 boxes all packed up and stuffed into the downstairs room. These will all go through Air Asia Cargo if everything proceeds as planned. Price is not too crazy and it takes only 2 days. The problem will be mainly that they don't provide door to door service for KL - Melbourne shipping. For RM150, they provide a 3-tonne lorry to take the boxes from our house in Malaysia to the airport, but once the cargo lands in Melbourne, we'll need to figure out how to grab them 25 boxes from the cargo bay and drive it all the way back to the suburb. Yes, there are 'removalists' for hire by the hour in Melbourne, but it will be most convenient if we could find a door to door service instead. KK checked out a professional mover HB Relo from the internet the other day and will be arranging for a free house visit to obtain a price quote for these 25 boxes. Since movers like these ship stuff via containers, it will probably go by sea and reach much later compared to Air Asia Cargo.

I'm thinking that engaging a professional mover will cost the moon. Right now, with AirAsia Cargo, it is around RM7-8k for around 500kgs. They don't go through fumigation and that's one key factor for me right now because we'll be shipping a lot of Abby's stuff (toys, etc..things she will put in her mouth). Though it's said that the methyl bromide chemical is harmless in small amounts, but who knows what it will do my kid 10 years down the road after she systematically puts every fumigated toy from the container into her mouth. Gah!

Hope to find the right channel to ship our 25 boxes of much-loved (though not valuable) stuff over. Packing was a bitch. Originally we wanted to keep a whole buttload of stuff but ended up throwing or giving away most of them. The good part is that we managed to sell all the bigger more valuable ones like the IKEA pieces, the aircons, fridge, wooden toys, etc. Even the half-used bottles and cans of food were not wasted and given to our neighbour (who in turn brought more ladies to sapu the pails, tong sampah, plants, etc). Facebook is indeed a valuable tool. I owe our garage sale success to it!

The house in KL is now standing empty and hopefully we can sell it in the next few days (wishful thinking!) before KK and I fly to Melbourne to get a rental. Both the Toyota Vios and the Perodua Alza have been sold and at a pretty good price. God is good. I've never doubted that. More often than before I'm now convinced that this is the right path to be walking on. I want a healthier and more fulfilling life elsewhere than what we have now in Malaysia. You can say that it's a case of grass being greener on the other side, but heck, it sure ain't green here anymore.

Despite all this, I still have to quash the feeling of being a coward and not choosing to tough it out and staying to make a difference to Malaysia. But then, it's just not my calling. This might not sit well later when I'm old and regretting in front of a fireplace, but right now I just go where the roads leads. To me, the worst regret is not to have tried at all.

Rule of Thumb to Delivery

2011-04-04T10:53:00.004+08:00

I'm saving this for future references for other women as well as myself when I have any other future kids. This is an excerpt for an email I typed to my friend who is about to have her baby soon!

I don't think using epidural is good. I did a lot of reading online and observed from my friends. Epidural can lead to a lot of other things being used, e.g. forceps, need to do C-sec, etc. However, epidural could also be used and the delivery is smooth sailing. Lots of my friends used epidural and they are OK....... For myself I wanted a pain-medication free birth and as natural as possible so I already had a mindset to say no to all medication they keep pressing to you.

Being your first baby, don't be in a hurry to go to the hospital. If your water not pecah yet, just feel pain, dont need to immediately go admit. My rule of thumb is to go when you feel the pain you cannot handle d (and contractions still reasonably apart)... then kira kira 30 mins to reach hosp/admit/check in/setlte on bed... should be timing just right.... if you go in too early, you will be very stressed from the environment, the nurses buzzing around you, equipment hooked up to u, etc.... and this causes the mom to give in to painkillers like epidural when the 'real pain' from the contractions comes.

Once you take epidural ... you will feel no contractions and wont know when to push, etc. Moms will usually depend on doc/nurses to know when to push. This is call 'purple pushing'. This is not natural because moms are supposed to push when the pain hits to trigger other natural childbirth processes. When you're not following the natural childbirth process, there is a potential of things being forced to happen before the timing is right...leading to usage of other medication/causing complications...

Unless there is a real reason to be induced, do not opt to be induced. This is an example of forcing the womb to open when your baby is still not ready to come out. However, I know doctors only recommend induction when you're pass your due date and baby is in danger of pooping in the womb, etc. But bear in mind there are some very teruk doctors who wants to increase the bills/save time and tell the mom to induce so the baby can come out cepat. If that's the reason, dont go for induction. Why dont want induction? Induction is very painful. It starts your contractions immediately and very closely and all the pain comes at once....

Last time I nearly passed my EDD and doctor said i should go in for induction if pass 3days. He checked me for dilation and also did something in the session. He "scratched" the membranes inside. This will sensitize the uterus to begin contractions. I started feeling funny that same night (like beginning of period pain) and started to have minor bleeding throughout the next 1-2 days. Then afterwards contractions started and i delivered. Lucky no need to through induction!

Relax and believe that your body knows what to do. During delivery, you let your body take charge. Doctors and nurses and yourself only react to events. Of course unless you have some complications during your pregnancy, you cannot rely on your body, but if you're healthy, believe that the delivery will be OK.

Childbirth is meant to be painful, but it's just a short period of big pain during the 'active labor' phase, i.e. just before the baby pops out. The many hours before active labor, it will still hurt but it's like period pain or tummy pain...but you can still sit up, walk around, talk, etc.

So keep reminding yourself that the "real pain" is just momentary. Must ask your hubby to be present. When you hit "active labor" you will start to abuse him and scold him for making you pregnant ahahahahaaaaaaaa~~

Active labor for me took 45 mins with the last 30mins at the unbearable stage. So that's not too bad. People said i have a very easy birth due to short timing. I don't think it was 'easy' cuz it still hurt like hell. However it was only 45 minutes (but at that time it felt like berjam-jam) and I cannot argue with them because some people go through 12-hour labors. Frankly, I think those with 12 hours of labor are not 12 hours of active labor. Just that they admit at the start of contractions and had to lie in the hospital bed for 12 hours until they finally reach active labor.

When you have 2nd baby, you cannot follow this rule anymore because some people just pop without much leading time/pain.

Hope I gave you lots of good info and lessen your fear. Childbirth is painful and that's for sure. But every woman is equipped for it and they can handle the pain. Pray a lot and trust that God will let your birth be how He intended it to be....and that your body will perform as designed. This is from my own personal research and experience only. Please do not think this is set in stone. Different women are built differently with their own issues.

This feels like it's too much..

2010-12-03T01:43:00.001+08:00

LordLast month before go live and our job scheduling team tells us that they cannot put up 1000 jobs in 3 weeks. It's my fault for assuming they could do it. I should've sent out a timeline in Oct, but of course I was busy with so many other billion things. Not shirking responsibility. I don't mind taking the blame. Nobody else would've thought of it if I did not.

I could say I couldn't have known that the schedulers need so much time to schedule jobs, but it's my fault for assuming that they could. I'm not sorry cuz I'll be taking heat from the higher-ups but I'm sorry to see all our hardwork and reputation flushed down the drain.

What a way to fall.

I can't sleep and it's almost 2. I think my manager's ass is on fire right now, getting fired at from his manager. I'm mentally preparing myself to be chewed out by many many parties tomorrow..... And still need to remain intact so I could march on to the cutover.

O God this is so crazy. I've committed this project and my sanity into your hands. Please do what You will with it. I wouldn't have stayed on if not for this cursed guilt you have instilled in me. I would've just thrown up my hands and frustration if you have not trained me in patience and determination in all these years working alongside with you. You have never failed me. You have never deserted me and turned away from your promises. You have taught me to find joy in hardwork and the deeper satisfaction of waititng to receive my reward in full.

Christ, You strenghteneth me. Through you I can do all things. I have nothing of my own to boast of, as all comes from You.

You know how hard we worked. You know the pressure and went through and the sacrifices we made. I ask you God to remember this and not have all the heart we've shown be brushed away so simply.

I can say that I still trust in You.

I really need to sleep to disperse off all this adrenalin.

Lord, grant me rest.

Teething Hell Part Deux

2009-11-17T22:34:00.002+08:00

Today Abby was exceedingly fussy. Simple things like hot poo in her dipes set her off like a banshee. That never bothered her before. One moment she'll be clapping and singing to a commercial, and the next she'll be clambering for me with tears streaming down her face, snot flowing mightily like monsoon tide into her gaping screaming mouth. My ears are still ringing from her piteous crying.

So I packed her off early, gave her a nice long bath and set her into her cot. She stood up inside, hung her face on top of the railing and ranted feelingly about something. Those rants turned into frustrated cries and the head banging started. I plugged the pacifier into her mouth and she spitted it out, so many times, that I just left the thing lying on the floor.

I felt that my daughter's trying to tell me something and I was too thick in the skull to understand. I was also frowning a lot and asking her what's wrong. Like that's working.

Setting aside my stuff, I pulled a chair to sit beside her cot. Abby's saliva was dripping so fast that the front of her pyjamas were wet. She was desperately sleepy but her gums hurt her too much and she couldn't calm herself down to fall asleep.

So I broke into a song and sang to her. She stilled and listened, her mouth open. After looping between 'Jesus loves me' and 'I have decided to follow Jesus' for the third time, she finally fell into the bed and slept.

I can't believe that worked.

They don't make it like they used to...

2009-10-18T21:53:00.001+08:00

The old bamboo chair that my mom used to seat us during feeds, and which now I use to feed Abby. Dad saw one in the market a few weeks ago, and they costs a bomb. If i'm not mistaken, they are around 90 ringgits! Siowww!

On Adopting

2009-10-13T08:01:00.002+08:00

I read an article recently on adoption and I don't know why the idea seems to have taken seed and festered in my mind. Now and then my thoughts keep flitting back to it whenever I think of having a second child. My family, both my side and my husband's, did not have much luck with adopting. Both cases turned out to be a nightmare, with the kids growing up into delinquents who subsequently went into drug addiction, theft and went on to break their parents' hearts. Also, as there'll always be some stigma attached to the issue, and this by itself, I do believe, affects the growth and development of the child, causing him to be pretty messed up by the time he reaches adulthood.

Then, there's the whole sense of rejection by one's own flesh and blood. Not an easy thing to deal with especially if you're not getting unconditional love in a God-infused upbringing. Adults can be insensitive, and coupled with a sure-fire recipe of low self-esteem and jeers at school, the kid will be all set on the road to self-destruction.

I suppose not all of this is true, and I'm mostly pulling all these 'facts' out of my ass. It could be that the root of the problem drills down to the true motive of the adoption. Children are smart little creatures who can sense our less-than-perfect behavior. Or maybe it is our deeds which let slip when we're not functioning with a pure heart. The tongue betrays the evil of a human heart, after all.

Hubs hates the idea. But all those kids in the church orphanage breaks my heart. People usually go for babies, and abandoned babies (especially those who appear in the papers) get adopted so fast even before you can say 'CHUP!'. I'm thinking more about those older kids beyond toddlerhood, who have lost their baby fat and mostly stringy and gangly. They know their parents do not want them and there'll be no Mom or Dad who give a damn if they make it in life or not. I think orphans at this age are the saddest lot.

Now that's said, I've gotten it off my chest. Won't be totally ruling this out in the future. If there's a kid at my doorstep, I'm not about to send him packing to a less-than-capable parental replacement.

Drinking by myself!

2009-09-01T10:10:00.001+08:00

Yay! Managed to persuade Abbyboo to hold the bottle by herself!

Crikey!

2009-08-29T08:10:00.001+08:00

Took many direct frontal shots but failed to get good ones. The flash just throws her off. Look at that piggy face!

Wrestling

2009-08-29T08:08:00.001+08:00

Little sleeping traveller

2009-08-29T08:07:00.001+08:00

Teething Hell

2009-08-26T06:02:00.003+08:00

Abby's second lower teeth is cutting through and she's not happy about it. She gives us much grief over it as well. Her voice has been hoarse for many days now from all the yelling and complaining and crying and sobbing.

Fussing was at its peak yesterday but coincidentally I was on leave so I was taking care of her and had the honor of witnessing Her Fussiness operating in high mode. Nothing was good enough for her to bite, and she tosses everything from cold teethers to baby biscuits all over the place. Then she moans unhappily from her seat, or her Graco Activity unit, or from our laps, and this is no different whether she is sitting, lying down or standing up with support (however lying down gathers the most yelling and frenzied screaming).

Only thing that comforts her is picking her up AND walking around. Just picking her up is still a no-no in her books. Have to continuously walk around and point at stuff for her to keep her distracted. Once I try to sit down again, she resumes her tirade. I also couldn't differentiate the teething irritability from sleepiness. Many a times we try to put her down into her sarong and she screamed and kick at us in fury.

Mom finally suggested we take Abby to the clinic to check if she's sick or maybe sporting an ear infection or two, despite the absence of a temperature. Ok lah, so we dressed her up and called the doctor to request for permission to land. Doctor nonchalantly said, "Ok if you're worried can take her here....but it just sounds like she's teething to me." We went anyway just to confirm it's that.

Just as soon as we step out of the house, she stopped and turned into this sparkley-eyed baby. Then while in the car, I rolled down the window for her to get some wind and she started mumbling happily to herself. By the time we reached the clinic, she's exclaiming in fascination at the blur of activity around her. We sat her down at the waiting room and she did not even raise a peep and just looked at everything expectantly, like she's waiting for something fun to happen.

The nurse called and we entered the clinic. To my utmost annoyance, that Abby broke into smiles. I think I saw the Doctor mentally labelling us as over-concerned and psycho parents.

After some prodding and questions, Abby was pronounced disease-free and never-been-better. Doc gave us 4 boxes of formula sample so that our trip was worth it. After that we drove around for awhile and no trace of fussing surfaced.

We reached home and she was perfectly fine. She ate a gigantic dinner and went to sleep at a good time. It was as if everything never happened and she kept giving us that, "Me? Fussing?" look.

If it's a dream, I want to wake up pronto.

I'm a M.O.T.H.E.R

2009-08-18T21:44:00.003+08:00

I have come to accept the responsibilities and expectations of being a mother to my kid. Remember my inward resistance towards the work and fatigue that come together with the role 2 posts ago? It still comes and goes (especially during sleep-deprived mornings) but another stronger yet silent feeling of love for my kid has resided in me.

(I'm so accomplished at writing about my dissatisfaction and on what ails me that I feel embarassed talking about the more positive aspect of things now.)

I'm much more tolerant of the work and is grateful for my mom in law who does a huge bulk of everything, including the preparation and freezing of Abby-boo's meal. Then she throws in household chores and cooks for us as well. She's a superwoman! I must always remember to show my appreciation and never take her for granted.

I also watch out for my own trigger points; like things which press my hot buttons to make me get all upset and resentful of my 'trials' and sometimes even fling me into depression. I know that lack of sleep usually gets me all negative-thinking and instills me with this feeling of hopelessness and self-pity. A long no-apologies nap fixes that quite effectively, unless if the sleep deprivation also comes hand in hand with PMS...then that's a different story...

Then there's stuff at work which bothers me to no end even after hours. Things that usually deals with me having to eat humble pie and stuff. I have a pretty huge ego for a woman. Then there's those belittling things which sometimes people say without realizing that their being insensitive and they usually do not think any further of it, where else I will dwell and dwell and dwell on those words until I'm all spitting mad inside.

All these things I take note of and any change of emotional temperature within me I will carefully evaluate and manage. That's something I can at least do.

Looking at happy things, Abby-boo is almost 7.5 months now. She'll be mobile soon. She's at that stage where she's able to get onto her fours but couldn't yet figure out how to go forward. She just rocks front and back like she's doing some yoga stance. However, she's starting to cruise by pulling herself up by holding on to the furniture and can even manage some steps while she's up and standin' tall. Everybody tells us that we'll be starting our cow-herding phase soon.

Hubs and I are pleased at her progress, and always look forward to see her perform her new tricks. Abby-boo also eats well and consumes huge amounts of pumpkin, sweet potato, rice, oats, carrot, spinach, corn, apple, avocado, pear, banana, chicken, potato, papaya and peas. Recently, we introduced beetroot to her palate and the next in line is edamame and fish. It's always a pleasure watching her eat.

All these things bring me joy and gives me that very cliched 'worth-it' feeling. I notice I started feeling better about motherhood when Abby-boo started to respond more and express more of herself. She's a little person now who will someday grow into an adult who will grow into a loving relationship with her Heavenly Father and mirror the image of Christ. I want to sow the right seeds into her put her on the right path.

Who knows, I might even have more kids later. :)

Snack Time!

2009-08-18T21:33:00.002+08:00

Abby-boo was idling in her Graco Entertainer today and complaining a little. She doesn't like sitting and lying around much nowadays and will take any chance to roll or try to stand up while holding on to us. Being quite new to this, she's yet succeed much.

I gave her a baby bikkie which is shaped just nice for her little grasp. For the first time, she showed interest in it and actually started to gnaw somewhat determinely at it. I went to clear up some of her mess and returned to half a bikkie, still tightly clenched in her vise grip. She gave me lots of gummy smiles and chattered approvingly on the delectable snack she has in her little fist. Then the little flirt, oh so at peace with the world now, spent long minutes gazing at her own face on the mirror installed in the Graco unit, studying intently the crumbs and damn bikkie bits which are by now all over her cheeks.

I asked for a bite and Abby offered me her partly-mushed up bikkie and smiled most happily at our shared interest. I was surprised she understood what I wanted and that she actually offered me the biscuit in her hand. Just to confirm, I asked Hubs to do the same. To our amazement she offered to feed him as well.

The more interesting part is yet to come. After a few repeated requests from us her response changed. Abby-boo started to ignore her daddy and stopped offering him her biscuit. Daddy exclaimed in disbelief!

However when I tried, Abby-boo dutifully feed the thing into my mouth.

Poor daddy!

"No more buying toys for you!"

LOL !

S.E.L.F.I.S.H.

2009-06-21T23:22:00.004+08:00

I'm so selfish. I can't wait to have my life back on track again. I look at my baby now and she's already trying to crawl when she's on her tummy. I can't help but wish she can quickly learn how to walk and talk and sail right pass toddlerhood and straight into pre-schoolerhood, and is old enough to be interested in her own things while I get back into my comfy old routine of gaming, drawing and reading.

I can't believe that Abby's 5.5 months already, and I also can't believe that I still feel so out-of-sorts like I'm walking on coals everyday. For the past weeks, I still couldn't get used to this demanding routine.... Can't sleep when I am bone-tired.. Can't work when my emails are piling up.. Can't even pee & poo in peace...

Frankly speaking, we don't fancy the parenting experience so much as to have a 2nd or 3rd baby. I'm sighing loudly right now because a lot of people are trying to conceive and I'm complaining about me not wanting anymore babies. Urgh, but I just need to say it out loud! It's really eating me up!

I know I know. I'm so selfish. Some one can give me a right hard smack.

I want the best for my baby. I want her to have siblings to play with. I want her to be able to find comfort and share her burdens with her siblings later in life when we've passed on. I also don't mind having lots of kids (grown up!) keeping me company and having merry Tan family gatherings every year at new year.

I suspect this is a common gripe among new parents. I just didin't expect this to be like this @ 6 months.

Jehovah Rapha

2009-05-15T23:36:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, Life throws you a curveball. Few days ago, my Ipoh pastor suffered a massive aneurysm. He doesn't smoke, drink or over-indulge. He's a thin, lean, preaching machine, frequently at the pulpit delivering sermons in 2 to 3 languages.

I got a sms from my brother then, informing us to pray. I quickly fwded the news to my sister and emailed my mom in NYC - activating a prayer chain to cover Pastor with prayers and protection with the blood of Jesus around the clock.

Eventhough separated geographically, the Church functioned as one. One part of the Body is griefly wounded, and the whole Body feels the pain intensely.

Pastor's eyes were swollen and bulging from her face, due to the internal bleeding in the brain. Doctors suctioned out the blood and warned us of the high risk of permanent brain damage or death. Everyone started fasting to claims God's promises...our God Jehovah Rapha who is our Healer, our Physician.

We prayed for wisdom and discernment for the surgeons, for their hands to be guided and stilled by the Master. We prayed for His glory to shine through, from the miraculous healing of His faithful servant. We prayed for the pastor's deliverance from the Valley of Death. We also prayed for the family, his young son and daughter, and for his wife, to be able to lean heavily, and draw strength and faith from His spirit.

Today, i got news that Pastor was moved to Gleneagles. He stabilised and doctors proceeded with angiogram scan. They later decided on an operation to remove the aneurysm which was lying precariously between two nerves. Operation lasted 5 hours. It was successful.

To God is the glory forever and ever. And to the wonderful medical staff who were there, who did such a good job on the complex and high-risk operation.

Lets hope for a full recovery for Pastor, with all his faculties intact. Lets speak forth healing and restoration into his body. May the Lord reveal and unlatch the gates to His resources to make this happen. Amen!