Life is Beautiful

The Little Things We Take For Granted : HONEY and CINNAMON

2012-06-08T17:32:00.005+08:00

Honey is the only food on the planet that will not spoil or rot. What it will do is what some call 'turning to sugar'. In reality, honey is always honey. However, when left in a cool dark place for a long time it will "crystallize". When this happens loosen the lid, boil some water and sit the honey container in the hot water, but turn off the heat and let it liquefy naturally. It is then as good as it ever was. Never boil honey or put it in a microwave. This will kill the enzymes in the honey.

Bet the drug companies won't like this one getting around. Facts on Honey and Cinnamon: It is found that a mixture of honey and Cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of today also accept honey as a 'Ram Ban' (very effective) medicine for all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without side effects for any kind of diseases.

Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, when it is taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm even diabetic patients. Researched by western scientists:

HEART DISEASES:

Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply it on bread instead of jelly and jam and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack. Also, those who have already had an attack, when they do this process daily, they are kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart beat. In America and Canada, various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have found that as one ages the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and the veins.

ARTHRITIS:

Arthritis patients may take daily (morning and night) one cup of hot water with two tablespoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. When taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week (out of the 200 people so treated) practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain -- and within a month, most all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis now started walking without pain.

BLADDER INFECTIONS:

Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder.

CHOLESTEROL:

Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water given to a cholesterol patient was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, when taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol is cured. According to information received in the said Journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.

COLDS:

Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and, clear the sinuses.

UPSET STOMACH:

Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears stomach ulcers from its root.

GAS:

According to the studies done in India and Japan, it is revealed that when Honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.

IMMUNE SYSTEM:

Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacterial and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of Honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles (where DNA is contained) to fight bacterial and viral diseases.

INDIGESTION:

Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food is eaten relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals

INFLUENZA:

A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural 'Ingredient' which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.

LONGEVITY:

Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Use four teaspoons of honey, one teaspoon of cinnamon powder, and three cups of boiling water to make a tea. Drink 1/4 cup, three to four times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans increase and even a 100 year old will start performing the chores of a 20-year-old.

RASPY OR SORE THROAT:

When throat has a tickle or is raspy, take one tablespoon of honey and sip until gone. Repeat every three hours until throat is without symptoms.

PIMPLES:

Three tablespoons of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it off the next morning with warm water. When done daily for two weeks, it removes all pimples from the root.

SKIN INFECTIONS:

Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin Infections.

WEIGHT LOSS:

Daily in the morning one half hour before breakfast and on an empty stomach, and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup of water. When taken regularly, it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also, drinking this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.

CANCER:

Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder three times a day for one month.

FATIGUE:

Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts are more alert and flexible. Dr. Milton, who has done research, says that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, even when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, when taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3:00 P.M., the vitality of the body increases within a week.

BAD BREATH:

People of South America, gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water first thing in the morning so their breath stays fresh throughout the day.

HEARING LOSS:

Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder, taken in equal parts restores hearing. Remember when we were kids? We had toast with real butter and cinnamon sprinkled on it!

Source:
Parts are from http://www.drmortonwalker.com/2011/06/honey-and-cinnamon-%E2%80%94-a-mixture-for-cures/
and
http://herbs.lovetoknow.com/Cinnamon_and_Honey_Research
and
http://shadyshealthyliving.blogspot.fr/2012/04/honey-and-cinnamon.html

10 Anti-Aging Food

2011-10-12T13:23:00.000+08:00

This fruit, which is usually eaten as a vegetable, is a good source of healthy monounsaturated fat that may help to reduce level of a bad type of cholesterol in body. Avocado is a good source of vitamin E and can help to maintain healthy skin and prevent skin aging (vitamin E may also help alleviate menopausal hot flushes). It is rich in potassium which helps prevent fluid retention and high blood pressure.

Berries

All black and blue berries such as blackberries, blueberries, blackcurrants and black grapes contain phytochemicals known as flavonoids-powerful antioxidants which help to protect the body against damage caused by free radicals and aging.

Cruciferous vegetables

The family of Cruciferous vegetables includes cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, kale, turnip, brussels sprouts, radish and watercress. Cruciferous vegetables assist the body in its fight against toxins and cancer. You should try to consume at least 115g/40z(of any one or a combination) of these vegetables on a daily basis. If possible, eat them row or very lightly cooked so that the important enzymes remain intact.

Garlic

Eating a clove of garlic a day (row or cooked) helps to protect the body against cancer and heart disease. The cardioprotective effects of garlic are well recorded. One 1994 study in Iowa, USA, of 41,837 women between the age of 55 and 69 suggested that women who ate a clove of garlic at least once a week were 50 percent less likely to develop colon cancer. Another study at Tasgore Medical college in India suggested that garlic reduced cholesterol levels and assisted blood thinning more effectively than aspirin, thus helping to reduce the risk of heart disease.

Ginger

This spicy root can boost the digestive and circulatory systems, which can be useful for older people. Ginger may also help to alleviate rheumatic aches and pains.

Nuts

Most varieties of nuts are good sources of minerals, particularly walnuts and brazi nuts. Walnuts, although high in calories, are rich in potassium, magnesium, iron, zinc, copper and selenium. Adding nuts to your diet (sprinkle them on salads and desserts) can enhance the functioning of your digestive and immune systems, improve your skin help control prevent cancer. Nuts may also help control cholesterol levels. Never eat rancid nuts, however, as they have been linked to a high incidence of free radicals.

Soya:

Menopausal women might find that soya helps to maintain oestrogen levels. Soya may alleviate menopausal hot flush and protect against Alzheimer's disease, osteoporosis and heart disease. Look out for fermented soya products, which are more easily digested, therefore more nutritional, and do not generally cause food intolerances. You may want to check that soya products have not been genetically modified. Soya should not be confused with soya sauce, which is full of salt and should be used sparingly, if at all.

Whole meal pasta and rice

Complex carbohydrates provide a consistent supply of energy throughout the day and should make up the bulk of your diet. Wholemeal pasta is an excellent complex carbohydrate. It is high in fibre and contains twice the amount of iron as normal pasta. Brown rice is another recommended complex carbohydrate, which is high in fibre and B vitamins.

Watermelon

Both the flesh and seeds of the watermelon are nutritious so try blending them together in a food processor and drinking as a juice. The flesh contain vitamin A, B and C ; the seeds contain selenium, essential fats, zinc and vitamin E, all of which help against free radical damage and aging.

Water

Drink at least 8 glasses of water every day in order to remain healthy. Water helps us to get rid of the toxins and unwanted waste materials from your body.
Don't rely on thirst; this sensation diminishes with age. Drink often and choose from nutritious liquids, including 100% fruit and vegetable juices, skim or low fat milk, broths, sparkling water, and teas. You can also get fluids from foods, especially those that are liquid at room temperature. Try gelatin, frozen yogurt, soups, watermelon, pickles, oranges, lettuce, tomatoes, etc.

- Source : WomanFitness
Avocado

How to be HAPPY?

2011-10-12T13:00:00.002+08:00

You define your own happiness, no one else. If you choose to be happy today, then you will.

There are a lot of things that can help you on how to be a happier person today, so let's look at some of the things that you can do to make you happy...

1. Practice mindfulness. Be in the moment. Instead of worrying about tomorrow, focus on the here and now — the food, the company, the conversation.

2. Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones. Researchers at the University of California, Irvine, tested 16 men who all agreed they thought a certain videotape was funny. Half were told three days in advance they would watch it. They started experiencing biological changes right away. When they actually watched the video, their levels of stress hormones dropped significantly, while their endorphin levels rose 27 percent and their growth hormone levels (indicating benefit to the immune system) rose 87 percent.

3. Go to sleep. We have become a nation of sleep-deprived citizens. Taking a daily nap or getting into bed at 8 p.m. one night with a good book — and turning the light out an hour later — can do more for your mood and outlook on life than any number of bubble baths or massages.

4. Hum along. Music soothes our feelings. Studies find music activates parts of the brain that produce happiness — the same parts activated by food or sex. It’s also relaxing. In one study older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery had significantly lower heart rates, blood pressure, and cardiac workload (that is, their heart didn’t have to work as hard) as those who had silent surgery.

5. Declutter. It’s nearly impossible to meditate, breathe deeply, or simply relax when every surface is covered with papers and bills and magazines, your cabinets bulge, and you haven’t balanced your checkbook in six months. Plus, the repetitive nature of certain cleaning tasks — such as sweeping, wiping, and scrubbing — can be meditative in and of itself if you focus on what you’re doing.

6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren’t necessary and that you don’t enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you’re feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things.

7. Make a list. There’s nothing like writing down your tasks to help you organize your thoughts and calm your anxiety. Checking off each item provides a great sense of fulfillment.

8. Do one thing at a time. Edward Suarez, Ph.D., associate professor of medical psychology at Duke, found that people who multitask are more likely to have high blood pressure. Take that finding to heart. Instead of talking on the phone while you fold laundry or clean the kitchen, sit down in a comfortable chair and turn your entire attention over to the conversation. Instead of checking e-mail as you work on other projects, turn off your e-mail function until you finish the report you’re writing. This is similar to the concept of mindfulness.

9. Garden. Not only will the fresh air and exercise provide their own stress reduction and feeling of well-being, but the sense of accomplishment that comes from clearing a weedy patch, watching seeds turn into flowers, or pruning out dead wood will last for hours, if not days.

10. Tune out the news. For one week go without reading the newspaper, watching the news, or scanning the headlines online. Instead, take a vacation from the misery we’re exposed to every day via the media and use that time for a walk, a meditation session, or to write in your journal.

Take your pet out for a walk. There are numerous studies that attest to the stress-relieving benefits of pets. In one analysis researchers evaluated the heart health of 240 couples, half of whom owned a pet. Those couples with pets had significantly lower heart rates and blood pressure levels when exposed to stressors than the couples who did not have pets. In fact, the pets worked even better at buffering stress than the spouses did.

12. Scent the air. Research finds that the benefits of aromatherapy in relieving stress are real. In one study people exposed to rosemary had lower anxiety levels, increased alertness, and performed math computations faster. Adults exposed to lavender showed an increase in the type of brain waves that suggest increased relaxation. Today you have a variety of room-scenting methods, from plug-in air fresheners to essential oil diffusers, potpourri, and scented candles.

13. Ignore the stock market. Simply getting your quarterly 401(k) statement can be enough to send your blood pressure skyrocketing. In fact, Chinese researchers found a direct link between the daily performance of the stock market and the mental health of those who closely followed it. Astute investors know that time heals most financial wounds, so give your investments time — and give yourself a break.

14. Visit a quiet place. Libraries, museums, gardens, and places of worship provide islands of peace and calm in today’s frantic world. Find a quiet place near your house and make it your secret getaway.

15. Volunteer. Helping others enables you to put your own problems into perspective and also provides social interaction. While happy people are more likely to help others, helping others increases your happiness. One study found that volunteer work enhanced all six aspects of well-being: happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, physical health, and depression.

16. Spend time alone. Although relationships are one of the best antidotes to stress, sometimes you need time alone to recharge and reflect. Take yourself out to lunch or to a movie, or simply spend an afternoon reading, browsing in a bookstore, or antiquing.

17. Walk mindfully. You probably already know that exercise is better than tranquilizers for relieving anxiety and stress. But what you do with your mind while you’re walking can make your walk even more beneficial. In a study called the Ruth Stricker Mind/Body Study, researchers divided 135 people into five groups of walkers for 16 weeks. Group one walked briskly, group two at a slow pace, and group three at a slow pace while practicing “mindfulness,” a mental technique to bring about the relaxation response, a physiological response in which the heart rate slows and blood pressure drops. This group was asked to pay attention to their footsteps, counting one, two, one, two, and to visualize the numbers in their mind. Group four practiced a form of tai chi, and group five served as the control, changing nothing about their lives. The group practicing mindfulness showed significant declines in anxiety and had fewer negative and more positive feelings about themselves. Overall they experienced the same stress-reducing effects of the brisk walkers. Better yet, the effects were evident immediately.

18. Give priority to close relationships. One study of more than 1,300 men and women of various ages found that those who had a lot of supportive friends were much more likely to have healthier blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood sugar metabolism, and stress hormone levels than those with two or fewer close friends. Women, and to a lesser extent men, also seemed to benefit from good relationships with their parents and spouses. Studies also find that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to get sick and die prematurely than those who have feelings of love, connection, and community.

19. Take care of the soul. In study after study, actively religious people are happier and cope better with crises, according to David Myers, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. For many people faith provides a support community, a sense of life’s meaning, feelings of ultimate acceptance, a reason to focus beyond yourself, and a timeless perspective on life’s woes. Even if you’re not religious, a strong spirituality may offer similar benefits.

20. Count your blessings. People who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, etc.) experience a heightened sense of well-being.

- Source : RD

If you feel like you're drowing, go swimming

2011-05-17T21:09:00.002+08:00

This is what you do.

If you feel low, you stand tall.

You mess up, you move on.

You want to try something, try it, and if it was a stupid thing to try, you look it in the eye.
There's no turning back.

You apologize if you're sorry, but know that the nimblest, strongest hands can't rebuild a bridge out of embers, so cut new wood. Start from scratch.

You love with your whole heart. If you're jealous, talk yourself from the ledge. If you can't talk yourself down from the ledge, have a good time up there, looking down on the world.

If you have to lie to make everything true again, lie like you mean it.

If you find yourself in a cage, reach out through the bars for the key, unlock the door, and run away. If running away gets dangerous, run home.

If home doesn't mean what it used to mean, decide what home will be in the future.

If your best friend says she doesn't trust you, hold her jaw in your hand until it hurts, and make her face you.

That's all it takes.

If you think you love a guy, see how his hand looks in yours, that's all it takes.

If you get exiled into a new land, then go discover it.

And if you feel like you're drowning, go swimming.

~ Excerpt from : Hobson Brown ~

10 Fashion Trends with Staying Power

2011-04-05T12:52:00.000+08:00

by Ingela Ratledge, RealSimple.com

Experts predict which fashion fads have come and gone―and which will come back again.

Photo : Chris Bartlett

Leather Bomber Jacket

Why it keeps coming back: Strictly for the cockpit set when it debuted during World War II, the bomber jacket, which saw plenty of action on terra firma after it caught on with 80s-era trendsetters, like Madonna, is "chic and a little tough at the same time," explains Valerie Steele, director and chief curator of the Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology, in New York City.
Keep it if: The cut flatters you and the style sticks as close to the original as possible, as any major variations tend to look passé. Take stock of the cuffs, too: "Leather cuffs are more classic than the ones with the knit ribbing," says Kathryn Finney, author of How to Be a Budget Fashionista (Starting at $9, Yahoo! Shopping).
Toss it if: It's exaggerated in any way. "No tight sleeves, loose bodies, or belts," cautions Robert Verdi, a fashion stylist based in New York City. "And if it's red with an embroidered eight ball on the back, ditch it."

Photo: Chris Bartlet

Baby-Doll Dress

Why it keeps coming back: Ubiquitous in the 60s, the 80s, and even just recently, the Empire-waisted wonder “always returns because it’s very forgiving,” says Rebecca Taylor, a fashion designer in New York City. “People from thin to not-so-thin can wear these dresses, so no one wants to part with them,” says Nicole Miller, a fashion designer in New York City.
Keep it if: It is made from a long-wearing fabric, like silk or wool, and has a trapeze or A-line shape―“but no more voluminous than that,” says Finney. The most recent iteration was positively billowing, bordering on maternity gear, and it probably won’t be trendy again. Instead, store the subtler shapes that gradually flare away from the body.
Toss it if: The color (like an over-the-top hot pink), embellishments (ruffles and rosettes), or length (Shirley Temple–short) make it too youthful looking. “The age limit on looking good in this style is lower than you’d think,” says Steele. “If you’re not sure it’s right for you, then it probably isn’t.”

Photo: Chris Bartlett

Platform Shoes and Boots

Why they keep coming back: Platforms have made a footprint on almost every decade of the last century―arguably no more so than in the 70s, when they graced the feet of Stevie Nicks wannabes and hustled the night away under disco balls. “For a heel, they’re easy to walk in, and they have a slightly funky edge,” says Finney. Adds Trina Turk, a fashion designer in Los Angeles, “Hey, it’s a powerful feeling to be taller!”
Keep them if: The shoe is sophisticated (you don’t want to look like a mall-prowling teen) and at least somewhat practical. “A four-inch heel and a one-inch front platform is the max,” says Nicole Miller. Any higher will look a little RuPaul―and be tough to walk in.
Toss them if: “Anything about them is too extreme―like design, material, or thickness of heel,” says Carson Kressley, the host of Lifetime’s How to Look Good Naked. In that case, what goes around definitely won’t be coming around again.

Photo: Chris Bartlett

Peasant Skirt

Why it keeps coming back: This floaty, feminine style has been a favorite of Summer of Love hippies, carpooling moms, and everyone in between. Who doesn’t groove on an elastic waistband?
Keep it if: “It’s unique looking, interesting, or hard to find―anything very ethnic, printed, or embellished, for example,” says Verdi. Adds Rebecca Taylor, “Eyelet peasant skirts always look fresh.”
Toss it if: “It’s a bright color or neon,” says Kressley. Most likely, those skirts won’t come back; and if they do, you should be able to pick up a new one at low cost. Also, anything that’s overly costumey―making you look like an extra in Pirates of the Caribbean―has got to go.

Photo: Chris Bartlett

Tie-Neck Blouse

Why it keeps coming back: “It’s a way to communicate sexy femininity without being revealing,” says Trina Turk. Which is why power dressers from the hard-charging Gordon Gekko 80s to today have tied up deals in them.
Keep it if: “It’s well made by a big-name designer, because they tend to use better proportions. Or if it’s dramatic, with an extra-long tie, so it is a statement piece, not just that season’s fad,” says Verdi.
Toss it if: It’s a cheapo, mass-produced take on the look, in which case it’s bound to bear signs of its era (a too-boxy cut or a synthetic material that won’t age well). And, says Taylor, “get rid of anything that’s too reminiscent of Tootsie.”

Photo: Chris Bartlett

Leggings and Skinny Jeans

Why they keep coming back: Ultra-fitted bottoms―veterans of Debbie Harry’s style era and Debbie Gibson’s, too―are a recurrent trend for a reason. “Skinny jeans can be dressed up or down,” says Charles Malka, the founder of the Charles David line of shoes and accessories, while “leggings are a great way to show off your legs without showing skin―and perfect for layering in the winter,” points out Taylor.
Keep them if: You’ve invested in high-quality leggings, “because they’re charging more for them each time around!” says Valerie Steele. Any pairs in dark colors and free of lacy trim are worth stashing; they can stand in for tights during times when leggings are not au courant. As for skinny jeans, keep yours if they’re figure-flattering and made from “a pure, classic denim,” says Verdi.
Toss them if: Era-specific details―such as a distinctive wash, zippers at the ankles, or prominent embroidery―decorate the denim. “And get rid of any leggings in bright, all-the-rage colors or patterns―they’re not going to work again,” advises Kathryn Finney.

Photo: Chris Bartlett

Ankle Boots

Why they keep coming back: Said to have been inspired by the footwear of 19th-century soldiers, ankle boots are “easy for women of all calf sizes to wear―and you can get the look and the height of a boot without having to go full-length under trousers,” says Robert Verdi.
Keep them if: They’re “made from fine leather in classic colors, like black, brown, and dark blue,” says Finney, and any necessary rehabbing can be done easily at a shoe-repair shop.
Toss them if: They have an obvious faux finish, like lizard, which can make the boots seem cheap, or if “the toes are too pointy, which makes your feet look a bit funny,” says Charles Malka. And retire boots with studs, fold-over flaps, or other touches that scream of-the-moment fashion.

Photo: Chris Bartlett

Patent Leather

Why it keeps coming back: Since its invention in the early 1800s, the high-gloss finish has been hot (think Jazz Age Mary Janes and swingin’-60s go-go boots), not, and then hot again―repeatedly. “Patent leather gives your outfit an instant wow factor, but it’s still an approachable and wearable trend,” says Verdi.
Keep it if: It’s an accessory in a timeless style, such as a clutch or a simple handbag, skinny belt, or pumps, “especially in a basic color that will always resurface, like black, nude, red, or Bordeaux,” says Malka. Also a keeper: a patent trench coat with a classic cut.
Toss it if: It’s used in conjunction with another fad, like “a shiny shrunken jacket with shoulder pads,” says Kressley. “Joan Collins gave hers away, and you should, too.” The odds that two trends are going to be popular again at the same time are slim to none.

Photo: Chris Bartlett

Wedges

Why they keep coming back: Generations of high-stepping women have loved these shoes since Italian designer Salvatore Ferragamo crafted the first pair from wine-bottle corks in the 1930s. “Wedges give women the psychological feeling of great height―but with much more comfort than typical heels,” explains Verdi.
Keep them if: They’re in pristine condition. Wedges are often made from materials―like cork, natural sisal, or Lucite―that are vulnerable to wear and tear. “This trend comes back in almost exactly the same way, so hang on to the ones that have that vintage look,” says Kressley.
Toss them if: “They don’t have an open toe; closed-toe wedges tend to be uncomfortable, and you’re never going to want to wear them again,” warns Nicole Miller. Says Charles Malka, “Chuck the winter ones, too. This is a style mostly worn in the summer.”

Photo: Chris Bartlett

Animal Prints

Why they keep coming back: "Animal prints play off the idea of women being vixenish, wild, and fierce," says Steele. So it's no surprise that fashionistas have been spotted in the prints since the cave-dwelling days―though the trend is most strongly identified with the 50s and 60s, when it was favored by sultry pinup girls, like Bettie Paige and Ann-Margret.
Keep them if: The pattern is in the "large cat" family (cheetah and leopard prints) or black-and-white zebra zigzags, which have the most staying power. Accessories like handbags, belts, and ballet flats hold up well, as do blouses and basic sweaters, like cardigans and V-necks. And stow coats and dresses with enduring silhouettes, such as wrap dresses and A-line designs.
Toss them if: "The print is really bold―giraffe or spotted pony―or in unnatural colors, like lime green or pink," says Kressley. Also ditch larger-than-life patterns that aren't true to scale.

About Charisma Adam

2011-03-29T01:35:00.004+08:00

First of all, thanks for the invite. I shall try to contribute entries in here about my likes and dislikes, my thoughts, my hope and dreams, etc...

Who am i?

Yes, this was me at 1 year old... Who would have thought that years have passed and alhamdullillah, I turn out OK... May GOD give me strength and good health... My future is uncertained. I guess this is true for almost everyone.... I am trying to understand myself... :)

Happy Birthday, Angel NAH

2011-03-26T11:16:00.002+08:00

Wishing Zura all the wonderful things life could possible give..... Good Health, Weath and Happiness always.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, March Angel.

Happiness - EPL

2011-03-22T23:07:00.000+08:00

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Self-Respect & Loving Yourself

2011-03-17T22:56:00.000+08:00

Self-respect and loving yourself and others ~ by Toni Morrison

"You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right -- that his judgement and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him.

Don't. It's a bad word, 'belong.' Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn't be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can't even see the mountain for the clouds.

But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through, beacuse the clouds let him; they don't wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. You can't own a human being. You can't lose what you don't own.

Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don't, do you? And neither does he. You're turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can't value you more than you value yourself."

Happy Birthday, Ina

2011-03-08T11:17:00.001+08:00

Wishing her all the wonderful things life could possible give..... Good Health, Weath and Happiness always.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, March Angel.

Bundle of Joy - Kimi's Baby

2011-03-03T11:44:00.000+08:00

Nur Adelia a.k.a Queen Pret.

Kimi, our Angel, just gave birth to a junior angel....... Congratulations, Kimi.
Now you have 4 little angels in your beautiful home.

Happy Birthday, Leilanie

2011-03-01T11:17:00.001+08:00

It's Leilanie's birthday.....

wishing her all the wonderful things life could possible give..... Good Health, Weath and Happiness always.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, March Angel.

A woman should have.............

2011-01-25T05:51:00.000+08:00

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own even if she never wants
to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her
dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black
lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who
lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone
else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

HOW TO QUIT A JOB,

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year..."

— Pamela Redmond Satran

Reason, Season, Lifetime ~ by Aleksandra Lachut

2010-11-28T09:00:00.001+08:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,

Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson,

Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,

................. whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Living a Healthy Happy Life

2010-10-12T22:03:00.004+08:00

HEALTH:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy

5. Make time to pray.

6. Play more games

7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day

9. Sleep for 7 hours.

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

PERSONALITY:

11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..

18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Challenges are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more.

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

SOCIETY:

25. Call your family often.

26. Each day give something good to others.

27. Forgive everyone for everything..

28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

29. Do the best to make at least three people smile each day.

30. What other people think of you is none of your business.

31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

LIFE:

32. Do the right thing!

33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

34. GOD heals everything.

35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

37. The best is yet to come..

38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

10 Tips for Decorating on a Budget

2007-12-10T18:12:00.000+08:00

Most people are looking for great ways to save money on home décor, but still keep the designer look they are seeking. There are many ways to accomplish this. Below are some fantastic ways to decorate on a budget.

Re-use existing items -- This is one of the best ways to save money! In fact, you won’t spend any money at all. Take an inventory of items in your home and try to look at them in a different light. Sometimes we get so used to seeing things in the same place, that we don’t even consider using them in a different way. Just try moving things around, and you may come up with something you love!
Paint, Paint, Paint! –- One of the best ways to completely change the look of a room, and for only a few dollars per room! Try new colors that you never thought of. Go to the paint store and pick out some samples. You can even buy a small container and test it out first. Budget decorating requires that you use paint to update and change the looks of things, whether it’s a whole room, a piece of furniture, or creating new artwork.
Make Artwork –- This can be done by salvaging old items, or creating new works of art from photographs, canvasses, or a collage of interesting items or shadowboxes. Artwork is an important part of any interior design.
Clean up your act –- Clear out all the clutter so that people can see the beautiful rooms you have created. Sometimes starting with a blank (or somewhat blank) canvas can give you a new perspective on your spaces.
Dress your windows –- You get a lot of “bang for your buck” with window treatments, because they take up so much vertical space in the room, and draw the eye upward. Try looking online at different types of window treatments and see which kind you would like. Some of the easiest ones to install or create include mini-blinds, wood blinds, plain flat valances, square cornices, and pinch-pleated drapes. However, the array of window treatments available is endless.
Try new shops –- Such as thrift shops, consignment stores, and auctions to find new and interesting items. You may come across a great conversation piece, or an antique that is worth much more than you pay for it!
Illuminate! –- Be sure that your new design has plenty of lighting. It would be a shame to spend time and effort creating a new room, and the details not get noticed. Lighting is also a great way to add accents and unique touches to your budget design.
Don’t buy everything you see –- Just because it’s cheap, it doesn’t mean you should buy it. If it doesn’t work for your room, you won’t like it when you get it home. You will just be stuck with an old piece of junk with nowhere to put it. Focus on buying things that you have planned for and budgeted for.
Have a Plan –- Know what furniture you need (and don’t need), what your color scheme is, and what your style is. This way, you won’t waste time and money by purchasing things that you don’t need, and don’t like. Budget decorating is all about know what is a good deal and what isn’t.
Have Fun –- Don’t get stressed out over your room! Sometimes it takes time, and trial and error to get it right. Just make sure to have fun and enjoy the process of making your rooms beautiful as well as enjoying the end result.

Find more great ideas for budget decorating at Designing On A Budget and Sullivan Interiors. Angela Sullivan is an Interior Designer and budget decorating enthusiast. This article may be reproduced as long as it is not changed, and remains intact, including all links and this statement.

Article Source: Ezine @rticles

Scrapbooking

2007-09-29T09:00:00.001+08:00

Hello ladies... I'm hooked on scrapbooking :)

Definition: Scrapbooking: The creative art of taking books with blank pages and adding photos, memorabilia, journaling, and embellishments. The primary purpose of scrapbooking is to preserve memories for future generations, but a secondary purpose often is to exercise your creativity as you display your memories in a scrapbook. Also Known As: cropping, scrapping, making scrapbooks

:)

Mummy in a hurry - Part 2

2007-09-19T14:36:00.001+08:00

Chicken Tikka Masala Pasta

Prep time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes
Serves: 4 people

Ingredients:
400gm minced chicken
½ packet of spaghetti ( I prefer San Remo’s – available at Cold Storage)
½ onion
1 potato
4 tablespoons Tikka Masala paste (I prefer Patak’s – available at Cold Storage)
3 tablespoons of olive oil
Light cooking cream (available at supermarkets)
Salt to taste

The method:
1. Boil the spaghetti until tender in a large pot. Add some salt and 1 tablespoon of cooking oil while boiling.
2. Rinse the cooked spaghetti under cold running water for 5 seconds.
3. Dice onion. Peel and dice the potato.
4. Heat olive oil on a medium sized pan on low fire.
5. Saute onion until yellowish.
6. Set the fire to medium and add in Tikka Masala paste.
7. Stir for a while.
8. Add in the minced chicken and diced potato and stir until they're coated with the paste.
9. Let the chicken cook in its juice for awhile before adding in 1 cup of plain water followed by light cooking cream.
10. Stir continuously while the sauce boils.
11. Add salt (if needed).
12. Turn the fire off once the sauce seems thick enough to your liking.
13. Serve the sauce with spaghetti.

20 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

2007-09-15T20:15:00.000+08:00

Question #1: What percentage of our income are we prepared to spend to purchase and maintain our home on a monthly or annual basis?

Question #2: Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization?

Question #3: How much money do we earn together? Now? In one year? In five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?

Question #4: What is our ultimate financial goal regarding annual income, and when do we anticipate achieving it? By what means, and through what efforts?

Question #5: What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend?

Question #6: How much time will each of us spend at work, and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Will we prefer to work into the evening?

Question #7: If one of us doesn't want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?

Question #8: How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other's level of ambition?

Question #9: Am I comfortable giving and receiving love sexually? In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?

Question #10: Are we satisfied with the frequency of our lovemaking? How do we cope when our desire levels are unmatched? A little? A lot? For a night? A week? A month? A year? More?

Question #11: Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterward?

Question #12: Is each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (e.g., smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?

Question #13: What place does the other's family play in our family life? How often do we visit or socialize together? If we have out-of-town relatives, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods? How often?

Question #14: If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have with their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?

Question #15: Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?

Question #16: How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? Will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?

Question #17: Are we satisfied with the quality and quantity of friends we currently have? Would we like to be more involved socially? Are we overwhelmed socially and need to cut back on such commitments?

Question #18: What are my partner's needs for cultivating or maintaining friendships outside our relationship? Is it easy for me to support those needs, or do they bother me in any way?

Question #19: Do we share a religion? Do we belong to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple? More than one? If not, would our relationship benefit from such an affiliation?

Question #20: Does one of us have an individual spiritual practice? Is the practice and the time devoted to it acceptable to the other? Does each partner understand and respect the other's choices?

source from oprah's marriage & dating.

Mummy in a hurry

2007-09-07T14:17:00.000+08:00

Recipe name: Chicken Capsicum
Creation date: 5th September 2007
Test date: 5th September 2007
Prep time : 20 minutes

Ingredients

350 gm chicken fillet (cut into smaller pieces)
1 green capsicum
1/2 onion
4 garlic
1 cm ginger
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of tumeric powder (fresh tumeric is preferred)
Cooking oil

Preparing it

1. Combine garlic and ginger in the 'lesung batu' and pound them wholeheartedly.
2. In a 'tumericproof' bowl, marinate chicken fillet with the garlic/ginger paste, salt and tumeric powder for about 10 minutes.
3. Slice capsicum and onion thinly.

4. Heat 4 tablespoons of cooking oil in your teflon layered wok with medium fire.
5. Fry the marinated chicken fillet to your liking (juicy, dry, semi-brownish etc). Your kitchen will be filled with the aroma and your salivating children will be waiting behind you with plates in their hands.

6. Throw in onion and capsicum into the wok. Stir gently to even out your wok's content.
7. Lower the fire and cover the wok. Cook for 3 more minutes or until capsicum becomes tender.
8. Ready to be served with steamed rice and 'sambal belacan'.

** Aren't you feeling hungry already?
As usual, didn't get the chance to snap some pics because before I knew it, chicken capsicum was already gone (into 4 tummies).

Hello

2007-09-04T00:02:00.001+08:00

It's been a while since the last post... I just wanna say hi to everyone... InsyaAllah will update soon :)

Happy Mother's Day

2007-05-11T15:24:00.001+08:00

To all beautiful loving mothers ....................
Your love and passion towards what you have around you

are as pure and beautiful as the Callas

May your day be filled with love and happiness, always.

The 11 Biggest Time Management Lies

2007-05-04T09:26:00.000+08:00

In the world of Time Management there are things said to us that we accept as truth and we act accordingly. The problem is sometimes they are not truths. They are lies and as we believe them, they waste our time.

Those who speak these lies to us are not bad people at all because you and I are among them. We all speak these untruths to one another from time to time. So let's not wish harm and doom to the liars. Let's avoid the time traps their lying may cause us.

Here are the eleven biggest lies to shield yourself from.

1. "This will just take a minute."

Has anyone grabbed you with that line? Does it ever "just take a minute"? Rarely. What typically "just takes a minute", generally consumes several minutes and more.

Next time, when someone asks for your time and assures you," This will just take a minute", tell them, "You're lying. You may not realize you're lying, but you are. I'll give you five minutes. You may begin now."

2. "I need this as soon as possible."

No you don't. That's a lie too. You need it by a certain date and time because you are going to do something with what I provide for you. And if you're not going to do anything with what I provide for you, why am I doing it for you in the first place?

Don't lie to me. Tell me when I have to get it to you. Be specific. You and I probably have two difference dates in mind when we think in terms of "as soon as possible".

3. "I want this now."

I doubt it. In this 24/7/365 world, everyone is under a sense of artificial pressure to get it done "now" or worse," yesterday".

Things are generally not that urgent. Don't get caught up in someone else's urgent trivialities.

Call the liar to task. "I'm not sure I can get that done now. What if I got it to you one week from today?" Use an outside deadline to give yourself ample time to prevent getting into crisis management.

Oh, and if they reject that alternative, try three better dates for you. Why? Because they may keep lying to you.

4. "It's not about the money."

When it's not about the money, it's about the money.

5. "This is the best (investment, business opportunity, book, movie, restaurant, boss, job, etc.) you'll ever find."

Not true. There's always something better. The best is yet to come.

6. "I can get this done in an hour."

It's a fib. Ever notice how it almost always takes twice as long to get something done as what you thought it would? That's because few of us have a very accurate internal clock to estimate the time required to complete most tasks.

7. "He's a' late' person."

Most people who are "late" have a consistency about their behavior. My friend Dwayne is 20 minutes late all the time. If we need to meet for lunch tomorrow, it will take him 24 hours and twenty minutes to get there.

Dwayne is not "late". He's "On-time; 20 minutes later".

8."No Cost." You don't get "nothing for nothing".

Everything has a cost. It may not cost you your money but more often it will be your time and more of it than what you are getting in return for "no cost".

9. "I'll prove you're wrong if it's the last thing I do."

And it may well be. No one wants to be proven wrong. Everyone likes to be caught doing things "right". Most, however, don't mind being shown how to do things better.

10. "By the time I show him how to do it I could just as quickly have done it myself."

If it's a one-time proposition this may be true. It doesn't make a lot of sense to spend an hour to show someone how to do a task that takes only 10 minutes.

But if it's a repetitive task, it's a lie. If that one hour investment will save you 10 minutes every day, then in about a week you have your investment back and now you have a dividend of 10 extra minutes a day. What if you do that six different times? You get an extra hour in your day and 365 hours over the next year.

11. "This is going to be really hard."

Not true. Going through whatever you have to go through is almost never as difficult as you imagined it to be.

Mr. Smith, my high school principal, taught me that 95% of what we fear coming at us will never hit us. It will ditch itself before it ever reaches us. And as to the remaining 5%, God has given us the tools to deal with it.

Written by Dr. Donald E. Wetmore

Dr. Donald E. Wetmore, a full-time Professional Speaker, is one of the foremost experts on Time Management and the author of "Beat the Clock" and "Organizing Your Life". He is a professional speaker and president of Productivity Institute Time Management Seminars, 60 Huntington St., P.O. Box 2126 Shelton, CT 06484 (800) 969-3773 (203) 929-9902 Email: ctsem@msn.com Web: http://www.balancetime.com

Article courtesy of www.businessknowhow.com

The Human Gifts

2007-03-16T13:51:00.000+08:00

When ever we have stimulus coming to us (it can be behaviours, an action, words people say to us, problem occurs etc), we have FREEDOM TO CHOOSE our responses. However, more often than not, we tend to choose the response that we will regret later. How can we overcome this?

I would like to share with all of you readers today, (compliments of Stephen R. Covey), what are our Four Human Gifts that if we hold on to it, we will always be the proactive people, who will choose the appropriate response first time, every time.

The four human gifts are:
1. Self Awareness
- examine our thinking & motives
2. Imagination
- ability to create in our minds beyond present reality
3. Conscience
- internal guiding system
- allow us to sense when acting with or against principles
4. Independet Will
- capacity to act freely based on our own self awareness
- free from other influences

I leave you to reflect on this gifts, and where@how@why have we lost them, because as a child before, we are a different human being - we are what we are. As an adult? Share your thoughts with us here at Pourtavie!

(the below are examples of how as a child before, we use our four gifts in creative ways...)

Kids Think Quick

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria!

TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!

TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.

TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;

TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.

Dining Etiquette For The Fast-food Generation

2007-03-06T21:23:00.000+08:00

By Jill Bremer, AICI, CIP
Bremer Communications

Everyone needs an etiquette book on his or her shelf, one of those five-pound encyclopedias of everything related to manners. I think it should be a mandatory gift to every graduate, right along with the PDA and new briefcase. I received one when I finished high school and I still have it on my bookshelf. It's a little dog-eared, but the advice within isn't showing its age (unlike its owner).

Why is this book so important? You'll be glad you have it when you're faced with an invitation to a formal event. It will teach you first how to properly respond to the invitation and then, how to eat that multi-course meal with dozens of utensils, plates and glasses. It can help you plan a wedding, teach you how to write a letter, even how to get along with your co-workers.

But in this fast-food era, many people have forgotten - or were never taught - the fundamentals of dining etiquette. Which way should I pass? Which fork is mine? What do I do with my napkin? What follows are the answers to the basic questions many people have about dining. (If you need advice on how to combine business with a meal, please read "The Business Lunch" posted in the "Image Insights" archives.)

The first thing to do after being seated at a table is to immediately place your napkin in your lap. Unfold it into either a large triangle or rectangle. Never use your napkin as a tissue, but have one close by if you think you'll need to wipe your nose during the meal. Ladies should blot their lipstick with a tissue before eating so that they don't soil the cloth napkin and glassware. Don't flip over your coffee cup or other glassware you won't be using. If a beverage is served during the meal that you don't want, simply hold your hand over the cup and say, "No thank you."

If you have to leave the table during the meal, say a soft "excuse me" to the people on either side of you, leave your napkin on your chair (not the table) and push the chair under the table as you leave.

As you look at your place setting, remember that solids are on the left and liquids are on the right. In other words, your bread plate is on the left side above your forks and your drinking glasses are on the right side above the knife and spoons. Use silverware from the outside in. The first fork you will need will probably be your salad fork, the one farthest on the left. The larger fork directly to its right is your dinner fork. On the far right side of your place setting will most likely be a soup spoon, and on its left, a teaspoon followed by the knife. If you see utensils placed horizontally across the top of your place setting, save those for dessert. Remember - once a utensil has been used for eating, it never again touches the tablecloth, only the china!

Your "real estate" at a table consists of, not only your place setting, but also the other items directly in front of you. It is your responsibility to take notice of those things and initiate their use. Roll baskets, butter, cream, salad dressings, sugar, salt and pepper - if they're within your reach, pick them up and start them around. Pass to the right and refrain from helping yourself first. Those items should make a complete pass around the table before you get your turn. If you just can't stand not having first choice of the rolls, turn to your neighbor on your right and say, "Would you mind if I help myself first?" They'll always say yes. Whenever you pass something with a handle, such as dressings, pass it with the handle facing the other person so that they can grasp it easily. And always pass the salt and pepper as a set, even if only one was requested.

It's important that you place the butter first on the bread plate before buttering your bread. Break up your bread or rolls into one- or two-bite morsels for buttering and eating. Whatever you take up to your mouth to eat should be eaten in one or two consecutive bites. Your tablemates don't want to see the part that didn't quite fit in your mouth placed back on your bread plate!

To eat soup properly, draw the spoon away from you and quietly sip the soup from the side of the spoon. Tilt the bowl away from you to get to the last drops. When you're finished, place the spoon on the plate beneath the soup bowl. If there is no plate, rest the spoon in the bowl. Follow these same guidelines for any dessert served in a bowl.

Salads should be prepared so that they consist of bite-size pieces. But if the salad contains leaves that are too big to eat, use your salad fork to cut them into smaller pieces. And if that doesn't work, use your dinner knife. But only use the knife when all other methods have failed. Why? Because you'll also need that knife for the main course, and after you've used it for the salad, there's no place to put it so that it doesn't also disappear with the salad plate.

When eating the main course, pace your speed of eating to that of your tablemates so that you don't make them feel uncomfortable. In the United States, we eat "American Style". Here's how to do it. Cut your food with the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right hand. Cut only one piece at a time. Then lay your knife down along the top edge of the plate and transfer the fork to your right hand. Bring the food up to your mouth with the tines on the fork facing upward. Don't stab your food or hold the silverware with your fists. And be careful not to gesture or point with your silverware, whether or not it has food on it.

If you must remove something from your mouth as you eat, take it out the way it went in. In other words, if it entered your mouth on a fork, remove it with your fork. If it was finger food, use your fingers to remove it. Hold your napkin in front of your mouth to mask the removal, then place the item on the side of your plate. Don't try to hide it under the plate, because as soon as the plates are cleared it will be left behind on the tablecloth! Don't hide any paper trash you've accumulated during the meal under your plate either. Just place it on the edge of your bread plate.

At the conclusion of the meal, imagine your dinner plate as a clock and place your utensils in the 4:20 position. It's considered rude to push your plates away, stack them up or hand them to the server. Place your loosely-folded napkin on the table just as you stand to leave, not before.

Maneuvering through a meal doesn't have to be scary. Like all elements of etiquette, it boils down to common sense combined with kindness. Knowing the guidelines for dining etiquette gives you confidence so that you can relax and enjoy the meal and company. And in this fast-food age, it can also make you unforgettable!

Jill Bremer, AICI, CIP, owner of Bremer Communications, offers training, consulting and coaching in professional image development and presentation skills. Her clients include Oracle, Abbott Labs, W.W. Grainger, U.S. Department of Energy and the National Association of Realtors. She can be reached at 708-848-5945 or at www.bremercommunications.com

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