Just Jordan

Happy 1st Birthday, Tripp

2012-02-18T09:39:00.001-06:00

Tripp,

Today we are celebrating you . . . Not in the way we wanted or in the way we planned, but we are celebrating that you were brought to us.

I was recently re-reading a post from March 9, 2011 titled, Good Life. In it I wrote:

When I saw pregnant women and women with small babies and the thought, it's not fair, popped into my head, I reminded myself that they didn't have what I wanted. They didn't have Tripp. I wouldn't trade their beautiful healthy baby for my beautiful sick one and I wouldn't trade a lifetime with their baby for the 5 days I had with Tripp. I was so lucky to have him even if for such a short time. There is no doubt in my mind that having Tripp was a good thing. Having Tripp was an amazing thing.

That was true then and it is certainly true now. Tripp, we miss you with all our heart. You are a piece of us. You are in our soul. We wish we had you here with us today and every day.

Love and missed forever,

Mommy, Daddy, and Calder.

This is the first photo of Tripp we have put in a frame. I would like to thank the Wallingtons, the Millers, and my Brook's girls for the Willow Tree angels.

I Wouldn't Trade A Day

2012-02-17T06:10:00.000-06:00

On the radio a while back they were debating how much time from your life you would trade to have your "perfect" body without doing any work for. A lot of callers were suggesting that they would give up a year or even more if it meant that for the duration of their life they wouldn't have to worry about working out or about what they ate.

Some callers were even saying, "what's the difference between 87 and 88? I could give up that last year for a life-time perfect body, easy." I wonder if these callers had really given their responses any thought or if they had ever lost big.

I gave it some thought and I wouldn't trade one day.

Maybe that is easy for me to say because I don't struggle with my weight. I hardly have a "perfect" body, but most days I am very happy with how I look. In all honesty, they posed this question at a time quite early in my grief and the only thing I could think of was that these callers are willing to GIVE UP TIME just to look good. The callers responses seemed vain and selfish. Our time here on Earth just feels so precious to me.

At that time my thoughts drifted off to what I considered to be a trade that actually warranted some reflection and thought. Would I give up a year to spend 1 more hour or even 1 more day with Tripp?

It turns out I wouldn't.

You see I believe that time doesn't exist in Heaven. I believe that when we see Tripp again he won't have even noticed we were gone. Tripp isn't hurting in Heaven. He doesn't miss us. He is at peace. Tripp is completely happy.

I realized that if I was willing to give up a year to spend time with Tripp I was being just as selfish as those radio callers wanting the "perfect" body. If I died at 87 instead of 88 or 34 instead of 35, I would be leaving loved ones hurting in a place where time and sadness do exist. All I kept thinking was, "what if Calder needed me and I wasn't here?" Tripp doesn't need me right. I am confident in that.

I would love to hold my baby again, but I will have to wait.

Not to mention the fact I don't know any fairytale characters who even grant those kinds of wishes ;-)

p.s. There are times when I think that people SHOULD be selfish. You need to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. So if you are someone who would pick the perfect body or time with a someone you lost I HONESTLY don't judge you for it. We all need to do what is best for ourselves. I would actually be quite envious if you had one of your wishes granted.

Picturing Saturday

2012-02-16T06:00:00.000-06:00

I did some reading last night on the first anniversary of a loved ones death. It reminded me that it is better to have a plan than to just try and "wing" the day.

I started by emailing the Cupcake Conspiracy.

Months ago when the first thoughts of Tripp's birthday came swirling into my mind I knew that the one thing FOR SURE that we needed was cupcakes. Then a few weeks ago my niece, Maddy, was asking about Tripp's upcoming birthday. She said that we couldn't celebrate because he wasn't here. When I informed her that just because he wasn't here didn't mean we couldn't celebrate she had the brilliant suggestion to have purple cupcakes. Tripp's birthstone is amethyst and a few of the members of my family wear his birthstone, including Maddy.

I wanted to combine my favourite cupcakes from the Cupcake Conspiracy with Maddy's thoughtful suggestion so yesterday I emailed them (they were already closed for the day) and asked if they could put a small purple icing flower on each of the 6 cupcakes I ordered. I know there are only 3 of us, but I want to be prepared in case it is a 2 cupcake each kind-of-day!

I have also started to try and REALLY picture how I want Saturday to go. Some things know for sure:

1. I want to be with Hugh and Calder.
2. I want to go outside for a bit - maybe the zoo.
3. I want to visit Tripp's bench and leave a candle there.
4. I want to have my house filled with the warmth of glowing candles.
5. I want to light the candles on our front step and have them burning ALL day.
6. I want to do little or no cooking (pizza is a good fit for a birthday, I think).
7. I want to do some writing - I am not sure if I will post it, but I do want to have some quiet time.
8. I want cupcakes with purple accents.

It turned out that I had thought about this day enough to have planned some things without even really thinking about planning. There are still a number of hours in the day that I want to think about, but that is definitely a start.

• • •

I have already started to have friends and family ask us, "what can I do?"

After some careful thought and a conversation with Hugh, I think that the best thing you can do for us is to light a candle and keep Tripp close to your heart.

Unpredicatable

2012-02-15T06:30:00.000-06:00

Tuesday 8:12 pm

My job can be exhilarating, fun, and rewarding.

My job can also be confrontational, stressful, and frustrating.

Everyday can have parts of both lists, but today was a lot of the 2nd list. As we approach the anniversary of Tripp's death I am finding myself to be a lot more angry at things and a lot more sad at things. Today at school my eyes filled with tears on 4 separate occasions. Some of the tears were out of frustration and some out of sadness.

At one point, as I sad with my elbows on my desk holding my head in my hands, one of my students said, "Mrs. Hamilton, you look stressed." I was stressed and I was thinking about Tripp. I kind of wished she would have asked why I looked that way. I might have shared Tripp with her in that moment. . .

I am going to snuggle on the couch with my Valentine and get to bed early.

Here's to a Wednesday filled with more stuff from the first list than the second. The great thing about my job is you can't predict how the day will unfold.

Happy Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T06:30:00.000-06:00

Hugh and I fell in love in Florida in August 2005.

Hugh could not stop laughing about this our entire trip!

These people RENTED a cart to push their stuffed animals. They were super pumped when we asked if we could get a picture with them!

Hugh,

Loved you then. Love you now.

Love you forever.

J

A little bit of a lot of stuff

2012-02-13T06:00:00.000-06:00

I would like to thank all of you.

In January the ads on my blog made $27.46. At the start of January I was excited because the ads had in December were set to make over $5. As Hugh just said, "at this new pace you could write a cheque to the Children's Hospital for over $300 at the end of the year." UNBELIEVABLE. The ads get 1 - 2 clicks a day, which surprises me. Very little clicking ads up to significant money. Since learning how easy it is to make money, I have been clicking on ads more often on blogs I enjoy. They might as well get paid for my viewing pleasure! Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you.

• • •

Calder skiing in Fernie

If you are looking for winter wear, Sport Chek has all of their winter coats, ski pants and accessories (toques, mitts, etc.) on for 50% off. The Center location had some great Helly Hanson toddler coats. If we hadn't of forgotten Calder's winter coat when we went snow boarding at Christmas and had to buy a new one in Fernie, I would have totally picked of those up for him (CAN YOU BELIEVE WE DID THAT? We forgot his WINTER COAT. . . when we left town. . . in December. . . It is actually funny now, but at Christmas time I felt like a complete idiot. Well, I still feel like a complete idiot, but at least I am laughing while feeling like an idiot now.). Sport Chek online ships all purchases over $99 free, so if you have some things to get and aren't close to a Sport Chek, this could be a good option.

These are the only 2 photos I have of Calder skiing. This is a good reminder to me to get the rest from my brother's girlfriend, Brittney! Regardless, that coat is going to look GREAT on Calder next year!

• • •

The winners from my Competitive PartyLite Candle Party draws are Kim from the group that commented on my blog and Sarah from the group of people who attended the party! I have your votives here and will get them to you! Thanks for all the comments and all of you who made purchases at the party.

• • •

Hugh and I watched the movie Drive with Ryan Gosling. He is HOT, the movie is TERRIBLE. It got 9.3/10 on Rotten Tomatoes, but I absolutely hated it. It was gruesome and I couldn't even make myself like Gosling's character, because he only said 15 awkward words the entire 2 hours. If you are just looking to stare dreamily at Ryan Gosling, re-watch The Notebook instead.

• • •

It is less than one week until Tripp's birthday. For the last month I have been wondering and trying to predict how I would feel on the anniversary and even though I am now less than a week away, I have no clue how I am going to feel. I do know that Friday is going to be hard. Tripp was born on Friday, February 18 and although this journey started on the 18th, for me it started on the Friday. I am finding the last few days my tears are closer to the surface. I am used to crying, but I haven't cried this often for months.

Thursday in a tear soaked moment in front of Hugh and Calder this conversation took place:

Calder: Are you sad, Mommy?

Me: Yes, Calder I am.

Calder: Why Mommy?

Me: Because I miss Tripp. Do you remember where Tripp is?

Calder: No I don't.

Hugh: Tripp is in Heaven.

Calder: Heaven is far away.

Me: Yes, and a long time away too.

Happy Friday

2012-02-10T07:01:00.003-06:00

I am actually writing RIGHT NOW! Usually I write in the evening and delay the publishing of the post until the morning. Yesterday was just too busy, so here I am!

I don't have time to write anything exciting, but if you have time to do some reading this morning check out my friend Daniele's blog. I lived with Daniele for a while when I lived in P.A. She is a delightful woman and a fabulous mother. Make sure you scroll down to look at her snow day photos. They are beautiful.

If you are a parent in and around Saskatoon you will want to check out THIS blog. It is a great place to find information about activities going on in the city. I was introduced to this wonderful blog when the author lost her daughter, Ava. Click on her blog tab if you want to read a bit about her family.

If you want to be inspired by generosity check out THIS post. I absolutely LOVE this blog and frequently find myself in awe of this woman and her ability to see things with such clarity and her ability to write with such conviction.

Enjoy your Friday!

p.s. Hugh's Birthday tomorrow. My future self is pumped to celebrate with the love of my life and eat cupcakes!

One minute is better than no minutes

2012-02-09T06:30:00.000-06:00

It has been a week of my future self vs my present self and I am definitely better for it. I have made lots of good choices for my future self like working through lunch to get "stuff" off my list and not having that extra helping of perigees.

I will say my future self didn't fair too well on the weekend. In fact, it lost just about every time. I ate junk food at the rink, hotdogs for supper, and I didn't do any work. I am not that upset about it though. It was the weekend. My hope is that my future self can start winning the occasional weekend battle.

One of the things I did this week was start a one minute work-out in the morning. The last few weeks I have really started to notice my lack of strength, so on Thursday morning my future self decided to get my present self's butt into gear. I did 10 sit-ups and 10 push-ups.

You guys - I cannot do 1 unassisted sit-up. It is BAD. I am happy to report (for my future self) that my present self is now doing 15 sit-ups (assisted- feet hooked under dresser so I can get some serious leverage) and 20 push-ups. I also added 5 burpees into the mix the last couple of days after some motivation from Courtney!

The last 2 nights I have added a 5 minute run in the evening to my exercise regime (is it a regime if it only lasts 6 - 7 minutes?). Before Christmas I was primed to start running in the evening. . . I even wore my pedometer for a couple of days to motivate myself and then I didn't run once. My future self was definitely helpful last night. I was exhausted and had parent calls to make along with keying an exam, but I knew I would be happier today if I ran!

I am going to continue to do my future self vs present self internal dialogue this week. I used to be REALLY into the one minute rule (not delaying any tasks around the house that could be done in one minute or less), but now that I have used the rule hundreds of times it just comes natural to pick things up as I go, or fold the laundry now, rather than later. I am hoping that all this self talk turns automatic for me too. I will be writing things down this week and will let you know how my mini-workouts are going.

This OR That

2012-02-08T06:30:00.000-06:00

Occasionally, Hugh and I play the This or That game in the car.

Popcorn OR Peanuts?
Fork OR Spoon?
Hamburger OR Hotdog?
Blue ORGreen?
Car OR Truck?
Sardines OR Anchovies
Edmonton OR Calgary?
Summer OR Winter?
Rangers OR Islanders?
Dogs OR Cats?
Mustard OR Ketchup?

The key to the game is that you HAVE to pick one. You can't hem and haw and then try and make a case to just sit on the fence. It doesn't matter if you hate both choices or love them both, you have to choose ONE.

There are always surprises when we play and often there are minutes of conversation that follow each This OR That justifying why we picked the thing we did.

Hugh and I always take turns coming up with the This OR That. Sometimes our discussions will go on so long and get so off course that we forget who's turn it is!

I usually have to twist Hugh's arm to get him to play with me, but when I tell him it is either This OR That or Hum That Tune, he quickly comes up with the first pair of items!

In case you were wondering, I would pick Popcorn, Fork, Hotdog, Blue, Truck (my brother's), Sardines (gag), Calgary, Summer, Islanders (I like the orange on their jerseys), Dogs, and Mustard.

Court

2012-02-07T06:00:00.000-06:00

We all have those friends. The ones we don't see enough. The ones that regardless of time and distance things always pick up right where they left off.

Courtney is one of those friends.

Court and I this past summer at her wedding.

Hugh, Court and I the night before our wedding (2006). I had wanted to show a picture of the two of us at my wedding, but I can't find the digital copy of ANY our wedding photos right now. This is a problem.

Time flew by tonight. We ate and discussed just about anything and everything under the sun. I loved every minute. As Courtney messaged me tonight after I got home, "I seriously had such a great time tonight. I know I've said it before, but I freakin' love our friendship!! xoxoxoxo "

Dito.

WinterFest 2012

2012-02-06T06:30:00.000-06:00

We hit up WinterFest on Saturday. It is such a great event put on by our community.

They have flooded the creek that runs by the rec centre. It is AWESOME. We didn't take our skates, but Hugh and I are going to take Calder there next weekend (weather permitting). Calder took one step on the ice and laid himself out. It was hilarious. We did tell him to wait to hold a hand, but Mr. Independent was having NONE of that.

Calder was crawling on the ice after his spill

You can still see a tear :-(

There were also sleigh rides!

This is my fake smile. We had to wait a significant amount of time to get this sleigh ride. Although I am not a patient person by nature, I know there are times in life when you have to wait. Unfortunately, there was a group of about 4 adults and their 6 children that for some bizarre reason completely lost their heads and had forgotten that waiting is a part of life.

This group of 10 had just had their turn and the line moved forward to load. We were still shy of getting on, but now were 2nd from the front. As we waited for the sleigh to make it's run, those 10 people just stood at the front of the line. They DID NOT leave. And not only did they not leave, they just hopped right back on the sleigh when it came around. The mom in front of us and her 2 kids were the only people to get on the sleigh from the line. I was miffed and a bit ticked off to say the least. By the time our turn rolled around I wanted to elbow smash a couple of those parents getting off. Thus, the fake smile.

Calder waving to Dad

After our sleigh ride we went inside to check out the festivities. It was here that I met one of our neighbours that I had been anxious to meet. She orchestrated THIS. Her hug came at a moment that I was missing Tripp. I had just been glancing around the room which was filled with young families and their children wondering if anyone else was feeling the way I was. I was thinking that there were probably other families in the room who had experienced loss or who were having trouble conceiving who might just be a little sad too. As I felt my eyes filling with tears, my neighbour stepped towards me.

Sometimes things work out like that.

Here's to the weekend

2012-02-03T06:00:00.000-06:00

I am really looking forward to the weekend. The last couple of weeks Hugh has been super busy with hockey and as long as he wins his game tonight against Meadow Lake the rest of the weekend will be completely hockey free! Go Shellbrook! Uncle Billy and Auntie Abbey are having Calder over for a sleepover, so I will be at the game doing my best not to shout at the refs (normally I wouldn't have an issue with this, but I really am making a concerted effort to let my voice heal :-)

• • •

Do you remember what it felt like to ride your bike for the first time without training wheels?

I don't.

But I'm pretty sure it is the same feeling of pride and accomplishment I am having over getting some of my computer issues sorted out. I have been grinning ear to ear about my recent computer successes (too boring to write about, but believe me. . . EXCITING).

• • •

If you are looking for something fun to do outdoors with your kids this weekend give these Toddler Ice Sculptures a try. I think Calder and I are going to. It might not be quite cold enough this weekend for us (it is projected to be plus 1 and plus 2 this weekend in Saskatoon. . . unbelievable), but I figure we will get them started. I have been trying to take Calder outside after daycare on the couple days a week we are having leftovers. The weather has been incredibly nice, so it has been working out really great. Even if we don't get to play with these sculptures on Sunday, they should be great during the week!

If you are in Martensville this weekend you will want to check out Winter FunFest. We have been before and the city does a great job. Sleigh rides, skating, sledding, and a bonfire, to name a few. Not to mention a number of indoor events as well. We will be there!

• • •

On Sunday night Hugh was gone for hockey so Calder and I decided to have a hotdog and a movie night. We laid out a blanket and ate on the couch for our special date. Calder and I shared a salad and both feverishly ate 1.5 hotdogs each. Thinking we deserved a treat to cap off our great meal, I suggested a chocolate chip cookie that I had baked earlier that afternoon. Calder dropped to his knees crying. He obviously didn't want the cookie, but I could not make out what he was saying through the wailing. It took a few moments and some encouragement for a deep breath before I could clearly make out what he said:

"I don't want a cookie. I want more salad."

"Pardon me?"

"Please."

Some days I question how he could have came from me :-)

Have a great weekend!

My Present Self vs My Future Self

2012-02-02T06:42:00.000-06:00

I watched a TED talk about a month ago from Daniel Goldstein titled: The battle between your present and future self. In it he uses this quote:

“To abstain from enjoyment which is in our power, or to seek distant rather than immediate results, are among the most painful exertions of the human will”
― N.W. Senior

I have read that quote 4 times and can't stop thinking about just how true it is.

To not eat that cupcake so that you can fit into your skinny jeans in a month is DIFFICULT. To not buy those cute heels so that you can put a little extra on your mortgage this month is DIFFICULT. As Goldstein plainly states in his talk, "it is hard to resist temptation."

Goldstein talks about the power struggle been your present self and your future self. Your present self is in control and it wants to have that cupcake and cute heels NOW. Your future self barely has a voice. It has a hard time being heard.

I have been doing a little self talk the last few weeks in select circumstances by asking myself, "what would my future self want." I immediately know the answer and NOT ONCE has it been what my present self wanted. I can't tell you the satisfaction I get from listening to my future self. Not only am I proud of myself for having will power, but the next day when I think back to the cupcake I almost ate and the heels I almost bought, I am even more proud of the choice I made.

So with the small amount of success I am having with it I am making it my Happiness Project for the next week. I will keep track of all the times I have a internal dialogue and will let you know next Thursday who won more battles.

Let's hope my future self kicks some butt!

I Pulled My Vocal Hammy

2012-02-01T07:36:00.000-06:00

About 5 years ago I lost my voice as the result of a cold. My doctor took me off work for a week (which turned out to be a 2 week break from teaching because it backed the February break). She told me at the time that the voice is very delicate and that if you don't let it entirely heal it will start to take less and less to injury it. Makes sense, but I hadn't ever thought of my voice like a pulled hammy before.

I hadn't had any problems with my voice until sometime in this past spring. I remember blogging about it, but am too lazy to go searching for the post. I lost it again this fall and it has never gotten totally better.

Dozens of times I have had people give me sympathy about the terrible cold I must have when in fact I was perfectly healthy. It was just my voice that sounded awful. My voice sounds hoarse, especially at the end of the day. If I even get a sniffle it sounds REALLY bad. Sometimes it feels like work just to talk. And to top it all off I have a sore throat basically every night.

I went to my family doctor and she referred me to the ears, throat, and nose guy (sorry, I don't know his official title and if I was too lazy to look up one of my own posts, I'm definitely too lazy to look up that) and I met with him today. I suffered through an excruciating experience that involved a not-so-small tube being put up my nose and down the back of my throat. I was so ready to pass out and/or puke when he removed the tube that I am having a hard time putting together what he said.

Here is what I think I heard:

1. The vocal cords are strained.
2. Could have been caused by exertion (i.e. projecting my voice in the classroom) or acid reflux (I don't know what this is, so I am pretty sure that wasn't it).
3. I have to meet with the Dr. and a speech therapist to come up with a plan.
4. The speech therapist may decide I need a sound system in my class (I had one for 3 years and they are marvellous - think Britney Spears dressed in business casual minus the huge snake).
5. The therapist might think I need some time off of work to heal it.

She what?

Honestly, I knew point 5 could be a possibility going into this. . . my past experience topped with knowing a teacher who had to cut back her work schedule because of her voice . . . but I hadn't prepared myself that it could actually happen.

I was bummed out. I love teaching. Who wants to be off work because of their voice?

For now they gave me a list of things to do to help my voice heal. So for the next 6 weeks until I see the speech therapist I am going to be trying to drink more water, get a sounds system in my classroom without a doctor's note, and to talk more softly. If you know my family, you know we are loud talkers. The truth is I probably project my voice WAY more at home that I have to. I hate to even admit that. I can see Hugh's smirk even as I type, "oh no honey, you don't talk loud". That is dripping with sarcasm if case for some baffling reason it doesn't read that way.

On the plus side, they did a hearing test and much to Hugh's surprise everything is good on that front!

Organized?

2012-01-31T08:58:00.000-06:00

For at least 6 months I have been procrastinating organizing our pictures and movies. At first I told myself I wasn't organizing them because we needed a new computer with more space (this was in fact true), but we got a new computer before Christmas and I have barely used it. Our pretty new computer is just a reminder of all the work I have to do.

Computer work stresses me out. I am so afraid that I am going to lose photos or movies in the transfer. I have an external hard drive and a back-up drive, but I am still afraid.

I am going to begin the computer work today. I am sick of telling myself I don't have time. I just need to get some of it done. I probably will need to lock myself in the office for a few weeks, but it has to get done. It is completely weighing me down.

I miss him.

2012-01-30T05:47:00.000-06:00

It's 9:34 pm on Saturday night. I still have the flu. I am getting a head cold. I am tired.

But mostly, I miss Tripp.

I have been missing him all day. I missed him this morning as I picked up Calder's cars. I missed him when Grandma Hamilton was playing with Calder and my nephew Pace in Calder's bedroom. I missed him when Hugh took Calder out to go sliding. I missed him when Calder curled up with me on the couch when Hugh left for hockey. I missed him when Grandma and Grandpa Fritshaw read Calder his bedtime stories.

I missed him so much that tonight as I lay in bed trying to sleep I convinced myself that the clicking of the nursery door was a sign from Tripp and not just a draft. I have been thinking of that clicky door being a sign for weeks, but tonight I let myself believe it was. In fact, it might be Calder's door clicking and not even the nursery, but tonight I am telling myself it IS the nursery and it IS a sign.

Tonight I wanted to curl up in the chair in the nursery, wrapped in the blanket my sister made for Tripp and just cry.

I didn't and I'm not going to.

I am too afraid that I would start crying and wouldn't be able to stop. Instead I just sit at my computer sobbing.

I am delaying this to post on Monday. I don't often let myself get emotional and type anymore. I'm not sure why, but tonight it feels right. By the time you read this I will be better. In fact, I will be putting on the Mrs. Hamilton show for my new semester 2 classes.

I guess I just want you to know that I still ugly cry miss my baby.

A Competitive PartyLite Candle Party II

2012-01-27T12:39:00.002-06:00

Calder was sick on Wednesday night (which was the night before my Competitive PartyLite Candle Party). I stayed home with him all day on Thursday. I had a couple of conversations with people about "should I still host the party?", but in the end decided the show must go on. You see this is the 5th time Calder has had the puking flu since the last weekend in November. Hugh and I had not gotten sick any of the previous times. With Calder being sick so much we have gotten so used to it that quite frankly I wasn't phased by it.

As always I washed my hands like crazy the whole time Calder was sick and wiped everything down with warm soapy water. Calder was in bed before any of the guests arrived.

I think you know where I am headed with this. . .

It was 8:30 pm. The Competitive PartyLite Party was in full swing. I thought it might be the 1/2 a glass of wine I had drank that might not be sitting well. Nope. By 9 pm I was puking. Half of my guests were still placing orders. What. A. Nightmare.

Last night's flu was even worse that the flu I had HERE. The only word I can think to describe it is horrific.

At this point I feel like quite the jerk. I was so convinced that Calder's flu was going to be isolated, just like it had been the previous 4 times this winter, that I invited a house full of people over. Oy.

Let me just publicly say to those of you I may have passed this on to:

I am an idiot. I am sorry.

And you can place online orders until Sunday.

A Competitive PartyLite Candle Party

2012-01-26T06:04:00.000-06:00

My sister-in-law, Abbey, recently decided to become a consultant for PartyLite Candles and she asked me to host her debut party.

I hestitated.

I have NEVER hosted any kind of "party" revolving around selling merchandise. My first fear about the party was that no one would come. My second fear was that people would feel obligated to buy something.

I have gone to these kinds of parties and felt obligated and I was afraid that other people might come because I asked and buy something because they thought they had to. After a bit of thought I realized that I have grown past those days of feeling obligated. I realized that none of my friends would EVER expect me to buy anything. My friends want me to come to their parties to be the vibrant, humorous, obnoxious person I am.

I emailed Abbey back with, "Yes!" I was pleased that I pushed past the fears, because I really wanted to be able to support Abbey and her new business.

First on my list of "party" things (besides the usual cleaning) was emailing my inner circle to see if they would come. I got a few responses and was pumped. The party was on. Abbey then forwarded me a "Hostess To-Do" list and as I read through I noted that they suggest asking 25 - 30 people. The rule-follower in me clicked in and I started inviting everyone I knew.

Somewhere, within all the emailing, I started to get competitive. I decided to see how many people I could get to come to my party. Then Abbey emailed me a link so that friends could make online purchases and I got a little more competitive. I figure if I am going to host, I am going to REALLY host!

As I write this I am beginning to realize that I might be too competitive to be a salesperson. In the very least would be a VERY pushy salesperson. It is all I can do right now not to email back 2nd and 3rd reminders to people I haven't heard back from!

I went to a CandleLite Party in December and got these. They are my FAVORITE! At Christmas I filled them with ornaments, you can see what they currently are holding, and I can't wait for the spring to try something new. . . I am thinking small succulents? I got them for a steal of a deal because they had an offer on where if you spent $50 you could by anything in the book for 1/2 price.

Back to the party. . . I have decided that I will draw for a dozen votives for anyone who makes a purchase at my party. I thought it might be fun? Who doesn't like to win a prize? And I also decided that I am going to a draw another dozen votives for someone who leaves a comment about the best or worst item they have purchased at a "party" (jewelry, cookware, make-up, etc.). This way everyone wins. Yes. I already told you I am competitive. And I don't believe ANYONE who says that winning doesn't matter.

If there is something you want to purchase at PartyLite, feel free to get yourself in for the draw by purchasing something through my party online (PartyLite will ship directly to you). And yes I also said I would be a pushy salesperson.

Too Busy To Write

2012-01-25T12:54:00.002-06:00

The title says it all.

But I still wanted to post. I have 2 things - one to watch - one to read.

The first is about melanoma. My friend, Deena, posted this a couple of weeks ago and if you didn't watch it then, you MUST watch it now. I wish my 16-year-old self had seen it. The good news is my 32 year old self saw it.

The other is about ~~catching~~ identifying a stroke. It was posted on Facebook, so I am not sure if you will be able to see this without an account. My appologies if you can't.

Here's to getting a bunch of work done before semester 2 (which starts MONDAY!!!).

Cheers :-)

A Whole Pile Of Leftovers!

2012-01-24T06:00:00.000-06:00

My Grandma Jenny bought Hugh and I two chickens for Christmas. She has done this for a couple of years and it works out just brilliantly for us. We NEVER think to purchase a chicken to roast, but when we have them in our freezer they always get put to good use.

MEAL #1 Ol' Faithful
This included mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and corn (1 can creamed mixed with 1 can kernel). Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. I didn't take a picture, but I am sure all of you can make a pretty smashing mental imagine of this meal!

MEAL #2 Chicken Quinoa Soup

I used two recipes from all recipes.com for my guidelines. I like to make soup by letting it simmer FOREVER, frequently tasting and going with the flow. You can the guidelines I used for the broth HERE and the soup HERE. Instead of noodles I used 1/2 cup quinoa and I added red pepper and parsley.

By the time we finished the potatoes and gravy leftovers we had had enough chicken for the week, so I cut up what was left and threw it in the freezer for a rainy day. That rainy day happened to last night.

MEAL #3 Chicken Brushetta with Angel Hair Pasta

2 - 3 cups cubed chicken
1 teaspoon salt
1 large can diced tomatoes (796 ml)
1/2 cup water
1 tablespoon garlic
1 box stovetop stuffing
2 cups mozzarella cheese
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning

Mix the tomatoes, water, garlic, and stuffing. Let stand. Spray casserole dish with cooking spray. Layer chicken (sprinkle with salt), cheese, Italian seasoning, and tomato/stuffing mixture. Bake uncovered for 30 - 40 minutes at 350 degrees.

This took about 5 minutes to throw together (and that included washing the tin for recycling and wiping the counters!). I served it over capelli d'angelo pasta. This is one of my favourite recipes.

Trucks

2012-01-23T05:53:00.000-06:00

Calder LOVES anything that has a motor in it. Cars. Trucks. Quads. Semis. Front-end Loaders. You get the picture. For Calder, the bigger they are the better.

At Christmas when we were on our way to Fernie for some skiing and snowboarding, Calder was awe-struck by the "mighty machine" we saw off the highway. Sparwood, BC is home of the World's Biggest Truck. . . Almost (this is exactly what the website says, but I can't seem to figure out where a bigger one would be:-). This truck was used in a mine for 13 years before it was retired and restored. It looks big in the picture, but in person is is dauntingly big!

Calder's birthday is coming up in March. I know the gift that would elicit the biggest smile would be Matchbox cars. They are his absolute favorite. We could honestly spend $10 and he would be over-the-top. And although I have no problem spending a mere $10 on his birthday present, Calder has well over 100 "dinky" cars and is probably starting to push the 150 mark. Five more cars will just get lost in the mix.

So instead of cars I am thinking of getting this picture blown up into a poster for his bedroom wall. He loves looking at pictures of himself and he loves mighty machines. I figure a picture of him standing with the World's Largest Truck. . . Almost, might make Calder that "over-the-top" happy.

Who am I kidding? As great an idea as the poster is I know that come his birthday, it will get immediately tossed to the side. If we want that "over-the-top" happy, we better have some Matchbox cars waiting at the bottom of the gift bag!

Math on the Brain

2012-01-20T15:58:00.004-06:00

I have math on my brain. I am up to me neck in marking and planning for next semester which is why my blogging has been put on the back burner. I went to lunch with my friend, Deena (Sushi! Ate way too much) and she suggested I blog about math. Here goes.

I thought I would share with you some of the mad math skills my students have by showing you a sample of what they are doing.

If you were in my Foundations/Pre-Calculus 10 Math class, you might see questions similar to these on your final exam. I would consider these questions to be of average difficulty.

If you were in my Pre-Calculus 20 Math class, you might see questions similar to these on your final exam. Again, these are average difficulty.

Don't be feel bad if you can't remember how to do this stuff! Math is not like riding a bike. If you don't use these specific skills, you will probably lose them! Quadratic functions, Trigonometry and Factoring are not quite "everyday" math!

Set The Timer

2012-01-19T12:11:00.004-06:00

I had zero time to blog yesterday. Final exams started today at my high school and I had a number of final exams to prep for new courses. I am taking a quick break from my marking to sign in here! I am setting the timer for 10 minutes. Here we go.

I hate throwing stuff out, but I am not a pack rat. I have no problem purging our belongings to donate, but if the item I have is not appropriate for the Salvation Army, I will choose to keep it.

Case 1: I got a bunch of new socks for Christmas. So many, in fact, that I don't have enough room in my sock drawer. I went to throw a few of the older pairs out and I couldn't do it. The Salvation Army doesn't want my faded, stained sweat socks, but they don't have holes, therefore still had some serious wear left. What did I do? I jammed the new pairs in with the old mix. I can barely close the drawer, but my conscious was seriously eased. Last year I actually gave a bunch of the new ones away so I didn't have to "waste" any socks! lol

Case 2. I have this face wash. It is Burt's Bee brand. I absolutely love their lip glosses, but after a month of using their face wash I found my skin broke out less when I didn't wash it at all. This left most of the large tube unused on my shelf. It has been sitting there for about 8 months. This morning I considered throwing it out, but I just couldn't. There was even a moment that I tried to convince myself that the Salvation Army WOULD take it. That moment followed with a moment of making my Facebook status, "If anyone wants some Burt's Bees face wash message me. My skin broke out, but yours might not."

Why Are You Naked?

2012-01-18T06:00:00.000-06:00

Calder loves to look at pictures on the computer. Or maybe he just loves to look at pictures of himself! Either way, we were looking through my profile pictures on Facebook this weekend and as we scrolled through we got to the "pre-Calder" era. As I flipped to each new photo, he would ask, "where's Calder?". I would tell him it was before he was born, but he couldn't quite grasp that there was life before March 8, 2009.

Here is my favourite "pre-Calder" picture from Facebook. It was taken at the Country North Show in Prince Albert one week before we had Calder. People kept staring at me. At the time I thought it was because I must look fat. I was an idiot. Much more likely they were thinking "how the heck is that pregnant girl out so late dancing up a storm?!?! IMPRESSIVE!!!"

I thought I would add a picture of my belly from that night. The photo above I barely look pregnant. In fact if it weren't for my bust-line, I would have even thought that I was just a bit bloated when the photo was taken - possibly from something as simple as eating a half a pan of lasagne for supper. Oh wait, the half a pan of lasagne wasn't eaten in March 2009. It was eaten tonight. Sigh.

As Calder and I continued on our journey through Facebook photos, we took a long pause at the picture below. Instead of saying, "where's Calder?", the first words out of his mouth were,

"Why are you naked."

"I'm not naked, I have a strapless dress on."

"Where?"

"Right here." As I point to a spot below where the photo cuts off.

"Where?"

"Well, you can't actually see it, but it is right here." I again point to the spot where the photo cuts off.

"Where?"

"RIGHT HERE"

"Where?"

"Actually, I was naked."

"Okay. . . more pictures please, Mama."

And with that we were moving on. Not another thought given to his mother being naked at a wedding.

I guess at this point, I will apologize to Hugh's cousin, Megan for being naked at her wedding. I'm sorry. I probably ruined your day.

Blue Monday

2012-01-17T05:30:00.000-06:00

I can honestly say that although I am WAY behind at work and didn't get home last night until well after 7 pm, Monday, January 23 was NOT the most depressing day of the year for me.

According to psychologist Cliff Arnall, yesterday was the most depressing day of 2012 and he used a math formula to figure it out, so it must be true. I can understand that the cold and post-holiday let down may be factors, but I was actually delighted to drive to work surrounded by clean crisp white snow this morning. It could have been a bit warmer, but at this point I was so happy for snow I let it slide!

If you want to read more about Blue Monday check out CTV's article HERE. If you want to see the most outrageous picture of a raccoon and kitten scroll to the bottom of THIS Blue Monday article.

Happy Tuesday!

Update: Apparently, as Hugh informed me while I was putting on my make-up, yesterday was Jan. 16. Oops. I had Blue Monday right, just not the date!