The Call Of Love

I don't understand and maybe I never will

2014-09-27T16:07:00.002-04:00

Even though we aren't as close as we used to be, I still miss my friend. I miss being able to say hello to her. I miss being able to ask her how her day was. I miss being able to be a friend to her, instead of being someone that is ignored.

It was nice to be able to clear the air, but it would have also been nice to know that what she was really doing, was apparently saying goodbye to me, without coming right out and saying, I am glad I could get some things off my heart and I do care about you, but I won't be talking with you anymore. It feels like high school all over again, where a girl says she just wants to be friends, but then ignores everything about you, as if you never did exist. I thought we were friends to begin with. And for some reason, a guy is supposed to not take it personal when a woman, who is a friend and claims to care, goes on to ignore all contact after unburdening her heart.

I wasn't asking for things to be like they had been. I realize that that isn't going to happen. What I was asking for, was having my friend be a friend, and expressing how I miss her as such.

Were the words I care about you empty words? Does that caring about someone include not sharing with your friend what is on your heart and mind? Does that caring about someone include not sharing with them when you are upset, mad, or angry about something? Does that caring about someone include completely ignoring him when he reaches out to say he misses talking with you as a friend? Does it include ignoring someone who has, and will continue to stand by you as a friend, even though you ignore him as if what he thinks or feels is meaningless, or that the friendship shared was meaningless?

I thought when we cleared the air that night, that we would still talk as friends. I had no idea that that would be what appears to be the last time you would ever speak with me again, even though you said you cared.

My heart is heavy and hurts deeply over what has been happening. I don't understand how you can treat me this way. We were always able to talk before. Now, it is as if I don't exist and never did. I won't reach out anymore, as it seems you want it that way.

It hurts being shunned.

2014-08-12T21:28:00.002-04:00

I am a man made of clay. I have flaws and imperfections. I have scars upon my heart. I have made mistakes like many of you reading this blog. I try not to make mistakes. I try not to let past get to me in the present. But, sometimes it does. And the one friend that I need to talk to the most, has shunned me, as if I had betrayed a trust, been cruel, uncaring, unwilling to listen, or stuck a knife in his / her back.

I am not guilty of any of those things. What I am guilty of, is being human with frailties. I am guilty of allowing an insecurity to get the best of me in a moment. I am guilty of getting a little carried away in my emotion (meant for good) with a friend. And though I have apologized from my heart, I am still shunned, as if I am some terrible person that is no longer worthy of being talked with. What terrible wrong(s) have I committed to warrant such mean and hurtful behavior towards me?

I thought that friends who cared about one another talked problems over; speaking the truth to one another as best both can, instead of acting like I don't exist and no longer matter.

It hurts to be treated as if I am defective, and no longer worthy of being called a friend or treated as such. I am not some defective whack job. I am a man with a big heart that made a few mistakes.

It hurts to be treated in such a manner, when I don't believe my actions warrant being shunned.

Why am I held to some impossible standard that apparently punishes any wrong done in such a hurtful manner? Are those I have called friends not without flaws and frailties as well?

I have not sought perfection in others. I have not shut friends out of my life when they have messed up. I have done my best to be understanding of them knowing that I have my faults as well. I have done my best to be compassionate and tried not to judge harshly, lest I be judged. I have tried to speak the truth to others, even when i had to share something very personal, or had to admit something very shameful or embarrassing. I did not shut them out and turn my back on my friends when a problem or disappointment came. I believe in trying to work things out as friends, not hurting them more because they had a moment or two of weakness and exposed a flawed side of themselves.

Not every problem can be solved or agreed upon. But, if you don't communicate with the one you call friend, you will never know.

I hate when I mess up. I try not to especially with those people in my life who I call friend and hold a very special place in my heart.

My heart is hurting, because someone I still consider my friend has tossed me aside and shunned me. I would never treat my friend in such a manner.

If any of you have a friend and you two are going through a rough patch in the road, don't shut them out in silence and shun them. Talk with them not out of anger, but with open ears and heart. You both may be the better for it in the end. You may end up being the best friends you could ever imagine. But, you aren't going to know unless you try.

I hope none of you ever have to feel the pain of being shunned, especially from someone you still call friend and have in your heart. It hurts deeply.

Do you want love in your life?

2014-08-01T20:03:00.003-04:00

It has been said, that love is a many splendor thing. For most of us, it is the one thing in life that we strive to find and embrace. At the same time, many people find it and then turn away from it, because it seems too real, as if they were wishing for love never really believing it would ever happen. Love that is genuinely expressed becomes something that is shunned, and often replaced with a relationship that is routine, predictable, and convenient.

Is it love itself that scares people so much, or is it the vulnerability and sacrifice that is a part of love, that scares many people to the point of embracing relationships that aren’t truly fulfilling, just so they can see the routine instead of living the love that they claim to want in their lives?

Love shouldn’t be an ideal or an experience that is scary. It shouldn’t be a dark cloud that constantly hangs over us due to bad experiences in the past. If a person doesn’t believe he or she will ever experience love, they are conditioning themselves to prevent love from entering their life. Many people do this by creating walls around different areas of their life. Many people try to control when and to what extent they will allow love in their life, especially in the deeper parts of their heart that they don’t like to talk about much less feel. Love doesn’t work that way.

When a person, in thought or through actions, tells another, that he or she wants love in their life but under very limited conditions, what that person is really saying is I don’t trust you, believe in you or myself enough to give love a chance to grow. And over time, a person that treats love and others in such a manner becomes very cynical and closed off. And the more they see or feel love in their life, the more they push those people away who represent the very kinds of things that they claimed to want in the first place.

Have you been hungry for love in your life? If so, how many walls have you created around yourself daring someone to break through? Do you want to truly experience love in your life or just talk about it as if it were nothing more than an empty dream?

In the Stillness of the Night

2014-07-08T22:25:00.002-04:00

In the stillness of the night, when memories of the past come knocking upon your heart's door and you know not the way, may you never forget there is one who silently holds your hand.

In the stillness of the night, when words fall empty in the depths of your soul, and you start doubting all you have ever done and ever known, may your heart hear that faint soft whisper "I believe in you."

In the stillness of the night, when tears flow like a river and you know not why, may you feel the fingers of compassion and understanding gently wipe your face. For in your friendship, there is such loving grace.

When regret and confusion cover your eyes, and you feel your feet start to give way as you try and climb the mountain in your life, may you feel the gently breeze of outstretched hands behind you, holding you up in prayer, lest you fall and break the precious dreams and desires found deep inside the woman of you.

BasicGreatGuy 2014

Regret makes our souls bleed.

2014-07-08T19:12:00.001-04:00

Live your lives without deeds undone or words left unsaid. However painful it may be, embrace the moment, the feelings, the fears, and the dreams. Regret, it makes our souls bleed. And sometimes, that bleeding can last a lifetime.

Chains in our Lives

2014-07-08T00:35:00.000-04:00

As we live our life, it is easy to become cynical and jaded, due to events and circumstances that come into our life. It can be easy to embrace the status quo of life and love, especially when we see so many examples of heartache from friends, family, and strangers. If we are not careful, we will start living our life based on the expectations and fears of others.

It is easy to immerse ourselves in the fantasy of movies and the ideal of love as we understand it. It is easy to say, I wish that love would happen to me but, it never will. Have you ever stopped to consider the possibility that you have chained up your heart and your life, so that you can't see and feel happiness and love when it touches you in some small way?

What are the chains in your life, that you have wrapped yourself in, that keep you from experiencing the fullness of love?

Whispers Falling on My Heart

2014-07-07T00:18:00.000-04:00

Whispers Falling on My Heart

Whispers falling on my heart like slow, fat drops of water in a Springtime rain. With each drop that falls, my soul breathes its first breath all over again. Its echo travels on the wind like an old lover from another time and place. It caresses her body with such tenderness and familiarity, it makes her cry. She slowly turns. Her heart is aching, her pulse is racing. Her breath is taken from her… the soul taking its first breath all over again.

Question of the Week

2007-09-26T16:39:00.001-04:00

Each week, I will be posing a question, that we all need think about, and hopefully take positive action towards.

If you have question you would like to post, feel free. I only ask that if you do post, that it be in good taste ;)

Question of the Week:

September 26, 2007

"If unconditional love is the goal and desire of our hearts, why do we chain ourselves to conditions?"

Sorry

2007-09-26T14:01:00.000-04:00

I made a bad mistake in html, and forgot to save the file before working on the site. :-(

I will get the site back to what it should be later on tonight.

I am sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused anyone.

Alone in the Woods

2007-09-25T20:15:00.000-04:00

The question was raised: "If a man alone in the woods speaks, and his wife cannot hear him, is he still wrong?"

I have considered this question in light of the principles of Modern Physics and offer my thesis, dedicated to my wife, who anchors me in reality.

In the year 1900 Max Planck discovered that the energy of light is quantified. In 1905 Albert Einstein used Planck's Constant to write the theory of the Photoelectric Effect, that light behaves as a particle when it comes to energy transfer. Louis de Broglie proposed that particles can have a wave nature and this fact was later verified.

These discoveries led Neils Bohr to propose a radical theory of the atom, which was partially successful in explaining the emission spectra of the hydrogen atom. Neils Bohr was compelled to introduce the Principle of "Complementarity," that light is both a particle and a wave.

The modern theories were extended when Max Born showed that the distribution of energy was a function of probability. Further, Warner Heisenberg wrote the Principle of Uncertainty, which says that it is impossible to determine the exact location of an electron and the vector direction of its momentum at the same time.

This was followed with the master stroke penned by Erwin Schrodinger. Using the "Psi function" of Quantum Mechanics, Schrodinger could map the "wave field" of any particle, thus giving us a theoretical explanation for the structure of an atom and the entire periodic table of the elements.

The Quantum mechanics predicts that a wave of a single frequency would stretch out to infinite proportions, the superposition of a narrow range of frequencies produces a standing wave function which can be localized to a much more precise location. Thus the electron and its position within an atom becomes a cloud of probability.

From this I infer that there are such states as being right and being wrong, within certain parameters of uncertainty. Applying the Psi function, the more vague the statement of the man the greater the probability of him being correct. The narrower and more specific his utterance the greater the likelihood of his being wrong.

Also, the Principle of Complementarity assures us that if a man alone in the woods speaks, and his wife can not hear him, he is BOTH right and wrong until he comes out of the woods.

In the analogy of Schrodinger's Cat, the cat in the box is both dead and alive until someone opens the lid. The act of observing the phenomenon determines the outcome.

Thus, the inevitable conclusion is that it doesn't matter what the man says, only his wife can determine whether or not he is correct.

Author unknown

How to Make Women Happy

2007-09-25T20:03:00.001-04:00

How To Make Women Happy...
The Point System
(advice according to women)

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

Social Engagements At a Party:
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)

Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted in all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)

A Night Out With the Boys:
Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)

A Night Out:
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called DeathCop 9 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-800)

Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)

The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

Author unknown

Understanding Men

2007-09-25T19:25:00.001-04:00

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a
real babe."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum
cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner
was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but
will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me doing?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more
outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"I DO HELP AROUND THE HOUSE."
Translated: "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR DOING WHAT I'M DOING "
Translated: "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."

"I DON'T NEED TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS "
Translated: " I am perfectly capable of messing it up without printed help."

" THIS RELATIONSHIP IS GETTING TOO SERIOUS"
Translated: "You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck. "

Author unknown

I Want You

2007-09-25T18:41:00.000-04:00

I want you when the shades of eve are falling
And purpling shadows drift across the land;
When sleepy birds to loving mates are calling -
I want the soothing softness of your hand.

I want you when the stars shine up above me,
And Heaven's flooded with bright moonlight;
I want you with your arms and lips to love me
Throughout the wonder watches of the night.

I want you when in dreams I still remember
The ling'ring of your kiss - for old time's sake -
With all your gentle ways, so sweetly tender,
I want you in the morning when I wake.

I want you when the day is at its noontime,
Sun-steeped and quiet, or drenched with sheet of rain;
I want you when the roses bloom in June-time;
I want you when the violets come again.

I want you when my soul is thrilled with passion;
I want you when I'm weary and depressed;
I want you when in lazy, slumberous fashion
My senses need the haven of your breast.

I want you when through field and wood I'm roaming;
I want you when I'm standing on the shore;
I want you when the summer birds are homing -
And when they've flown - I want you more and more.

I want you, dear, through every changing season;
I want you with a tear or with a smile;
I want you more than any rhyme or reason -
I want you, want you, want you - all the while.

Arthur L. Gillom

The Road Not Taken

2007-09-25T18:33:00.000-04:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Robert Frost

Commentary: Far too often, we are all guilty of taking the common road, because often times, it is an easy road. It is a safe road.

Relationships of any kind, and value, take work. If we want to make a difference in this world, especially in the area of love, we must take the road less traveled. We must be willing to walk where we have never walked before.

Are you willing to take the road less traveled?

Drop a Pebble in the Water

2007-09-25T18:21:00.000-04:00

Drop a pebble in the water; just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water; in a minute you forget,
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;
You've disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go,
And there is no way to stop them, once you've started them to flow.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute you forget;
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you've stirred,
And disturbed a life was happy ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave
Til you wouldn't believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;
But there's gladness still a-swelling, and there's joy a-circling yet,
And you've rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard
Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.

- James W. Foley -

Commentary: What kinds of pebbles are you casting into the waters of your life?

Great Replies

2007-09-25T17:34:00.000-04:00

Attention female readers! Are you sick and tired of those stupid old pick-up lines that men continue to use? Here are some great comebacks!

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you some place before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Author unknown

A Dictionary for Women

2007-09-25T17:19:00.000-04:00

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. -- What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. -- You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat, and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner".

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. -- Gotta get married in a church.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. -- You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus...breathe....push...."

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. -- An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. -- A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. -- The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery list (grow*ser*ee list) n. -- What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. -- Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician".

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. -- Similar to a black hole in space: if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. -- Before children, a verb meaning "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. -- The most important ingredient for dating, marriage, and children. See also "tranquilizers".

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. -- A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. -- Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Author unknown

The Messenger: A Soulmate Story

2007-09-25T13:22:00.001-04:00

It was a beautiful sunny day in Seattle, which is so unusual for the 4th of July; a day for fireworks and celebration honoring our country's independence. That day, little did I know that I was soon to receive a very special message from the most unusual messenger.

It was early in the afternoon and I was seriously busy refinishing some very old windows out on my back porch. All of the doors and windows throughout my home where open, letting in the light and fresh air.

My life was certainly going through some changes. Only a month before, I had been struggling with a relationship that I knew needed to change form. A few days earlier I had said my goodbyes. I had always heard that when one door closes another door opens, but I didn't know if I was fully prepared to step into the new door that was presenting itself so quickly. You see, I was finally realizing that the dearest male friend that I had ever known, was the soul mate I had been looking for my entire life. What a shock to my senses this was! I had always thought of myself as an intuitive person, but I didn't see this one coming. It was like I had a veil pulled over my eyes.

Needless to say, I was filled with bliss from this new awareness. But also scared and a bit unsure at the same time. They say that the chance of someone single in their mid forties finding true love, is like finding an old vintage "oat penny" in a jar full of pocket change--highly unlikely. (What do 'they' know :-)

I knew in my heart that my friend Kirk was a soul mate, but my head was swimming in some type of fear that I couldn't really fully understand. So, I did what I do when I need to process so many emotions. I worked on something tangible in the physical world that needed to be fixed.

As I was refinishing the old window frames, I began to notice layer after layer of different colored paint. It seemed like I was going through the generations of a family tree as each layer was exposed. Each of the colors of paint was sharing a story about different cycles in my life. As each layer exposed itself, I had some sort of revelation. I can't really tell you every thought that went through my mind, but it seemed so very revealing at the time.

There came a point when I was so full of thought that I knew I needed to take a break. So, I decided to walk into my magical dining room where the beautiful stained glass windows surrounded my favorite plants. It was at that very moment when something unusual caught my eye. I have always had an affinity for butterflies and love to watch them outside, but this was the first time I had ever seen one indoors.

"Wow!", I thought to myself. "This is the most unusual looking butterfly." I have seen Monarch butterflies up close, but never one like this before. So I slowly walked up to take a better look. I was in awe. This butterfly was so very large, black, white, and orange and incredibly beautiful. He seemed quite calm really; much calmer than I was for sure.

I wondered, "Now, what does a person do with a butterfly in their home?" I can tell you what I thought. I was concerned that he was going to die if he stayed inside any longer. It is unnatural for a butterfly not to be free. So, I wondered what to do.

Just then I heard thoughts in my head telling me to fill myself with love and then to place my hand beside this radiant butterfly. So I did just that. As I was feeling this incredible sense of love oozing from my being, I watched him so intently while pressing my hand close to him against the window pane. In my amazement he slowly and steadily crept over to my hand and I watched him carefully step right into the center of my palm. I was motionless and in shock. Why would a butterfly as unusually beautiful as this one come inside my home and end up in my palm?

Just then I heard another thought fill my senses, and this time it seemed to be coming from the Butterfly!

"Trust dear one. Trust your life and trust your heart. Here you are with the door open, and the light is shining the way. I am here to show you that you now have your independence. Do with it as you wish. In going through the door before you, your life will have more freedom than you have ever known before."

This was so weird. I had this incredible peace fill every inch of my being. I just knew this butterfly was sent to me as a messenger, to tell me everything was okay; that my love for my wonderful friend and soul mate Kirk, was perfect, so not to fear.

I slowly walked the twenty-five or so steps through my dining room and out onto my front porch. The butterfly contently lay in the palm of my hand, not about to leave until he knew I received my message. At the point of mutual acknowledgment, I raised my hands to the sky, and watched as the butterfly so elegantly ascended from my palm up into the sky.

I stood there for a while and watched him circle the yard, as if he was smiling back at me, saying his goodbyes. I thought to myself, "What a magical messenger indeed." From that moment on, I have never turned back.

This soulmate story was published in," Romancing the Soul, True Soul Mate Stories from around the World and Beyond."

By Sandy Breckenridge

http://www.askalana.com/stories/messenger.shtml

Love and Time

2007-09-25T13:10:00.001-04:00

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,
"Richness, can you take me with you?"
Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

Author unknown

The Rose Within

2007-09-25T13:03:00.000-04:00

A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it.

He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.

We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess, is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.

Author unknown

BasicGreatGuy's Quotes and Poems

2007-09-24T22:53:00.000-04:00

The following quotes and poems, ( as updated ) were written by me BasicGreatGuy ( Robert S. Nowell III). They are copyrighted. They are not to be used in any way, without my express permission.

"Dreams are heavenly whispers from above, that both tickle and awaken the longing of our soul. Dream with your arms stretched outward, your heart open, and your spirit looking upward. It is then that you will see the endless beauty and joy of your dreams transformed from mere visions, into the blessings of love".

"If flirting with you is fun, may I forever laugh".

"If love is a gift, that is to be freely given, without pretension or condition, why do we hold onto it so?"

"If love is the drink of man, let me forever drink from the depths of your soul. May I forever swim in the deepest parts of your heart, kissing the cracks that humanity has left there in its callousness".

"Let your actions be the light that illuminates your integrity".

"Love is my lighthouse. I will traverse whatever seas there may be, in order to find the right harbor for my heart and soul."

"Love is reaching deep inside someone's soul, and kissing them so deep inside, that they are never the same".

"The depth of one's words sheds light on the quickening of the soul".

"The essence of a relationship is exchanging the clothes of the heart with one another, wearing them so close to your soul, lest you miss the blessing of communion".

I was Created

"I was created in His image to speak.
His love and understanding that I do seek.
May my life not be one of things left undone,
but may my life be seen as deeds that were done.

May I live my life not as a period
of those who have gone before me, or the comma
of those who had not the
strength to continue on,
but let my life, and my love,
ring as proudly and true,
as the voices of a thousand song birds.
May my life, and my love,
always be filled with gentleness,
as the sweet morning dew.

Say not to me you but love me,
but so live because you love me.
It is not me that you must live for,
but love that commands us all."

The Canvas of My Heart

"If I could lay color to the canvas of my heart with all the glorious impressionistic shading and hues of Monet, Seurat, and Boudin, I would paint for the world, the colors of my heart, and how they all blend together to create the blessing, the friend, and woman of you.

If I could lay color to the canvas of my heart, I would color it with whimsical shades of morning glories dancing in the sun of our friendship.

If I could lay color to the canvas of my heart, I would color it with purple lilacs and lilies, to show how much passion, and beauty, the flowers of you have grown in the summer fields of my life.

If I could lay color to the canvas of my heart, I would color it with burgundy and crimson roses, each one planted, and watered, from the soft gentle drops of the tenderness of you.

If I could lay color to the canvas of my heart, I would fill the sky with song birds. For every time I think of you, my heart sings.

If I could lay color to the canvas of my heart, I would fill the sky with white billowy clouds, slowly drifting to and fro, smiling down upon you wherever you may go.

If I could lay color to the canvas of my heart, I would place within it, a secret lake filled with compassion, strength, and understanding, that you could immerse your heart and soul in, when the days of your life are running long, and you barely have the strength to carry on.

If I could lay color to the canvas of my heart, it would be filled with all the colors that you have shared with me, in the person of you. I just wanted you to know, that I thank God for the woman of you."

BasicGreatGuy 2007

A Simple Gesture

2007-09-24T22:33:00.000-04:00

Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed that the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles.

Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked, Mark discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, that he was having a lot of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend.

Mark went home after dropping Bill at his house. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school, where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long-awaited senior year came. Three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.

Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. "Do you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill. "You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mother's sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up my books that day, you did a lot more. You saved my life."

By John W. Schlatter

Commentary: This story points out an immutable truth in my opinion. We may never truly know, the impact that our life, and our love has on other people.

If we love, only when love is given back to us, we are not truly sharing love with another person, in my opinion.

Let us all be mindful not only of our words, but our actions as well.

The Most Beautiful Heart

2007-09-24T22:29:00.001-04:00

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley.

A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.

The people stared "How can he say his heart is more beautiful?" they thought.

The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared."

"Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges - giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks.

He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.

They embraced and walked away side by side.

Author: Unknown

Intimacy Part Two - Talking to the Men

2007-09-24T18:34:00.000-04:00

In my first article on intimacy, I spoke in general terms about the different levels of intimacy in each of our lives. In part two of intimacy, I want to specifically address the men.

As I mentioned in my previous article, intimacy is a two-way street, as are relationships. In order for a relationship to grow, ( whether it be family, friends, significant other, or married spouse ) there must be active participation by both parties, as a whole. If that overall balance is not there, in regards to a relationship, and more succinctly intimacy, the relationship will slowly die.

One of the problems with intimacy, in my opinion, is how men ( as a whole ) not only perceive intimacy, but more importantly, how they embrace it in their own life, as well as with those closest to them.

There are many societal biases, and myths, that I believe are responsible for the lack of intimacy ( as it truly needs to be ) in the individual life of men, ( as a whole ) as well as with those they may be involved with, in whatever form or fashion. In this article, I will address some of the societal biases, and myths, that men ( as a whole ) are living in, and ones that prevent true intimacy from taking place in their life.

As men growing up in the 60's and 70s, many of us were taught, whether directly, through the example of our parents, or indirectly, through friends and advertising, that being a man was about financially providing for your family. Growing up during that era, we men were taught that working hard all the time, was the ultimate expression of intimacy. We were taught that if a man truly cared about his family, he would work as hard as he possibly could, in order to provide not only the essential needs of his family, but many of the wants of the family as well.

While providing for your family ( as best you can ) is important, it is not what should define us as men. Being a good provider for your family, does not equate to being a man, who is capable of being intimate with those he loves, simply because he may work 8,10, or 12 hard hours a day. Being a hard worker, is merely a part of who we are as individuals. It is not who we are.

Just because you were away from home all day, working as hard as you could, that doesn't mean you have some how fulfilled your responsibilities, as a partner in the relationship. Working hard on the job, does not translate into intimacy with your partner men. It never has. Working hard all day, does not entitle you as a man in a relationship, to come home, sit in front of the t.v. all night, while your partner or wife, is regulated to being alone once again, in her mind, and in her heart. You may have been taught that as a child growing up, but doesn't mean that what you were taught in that regard, was true.

Your wife, or significant other, worked hard all day as well, whether it was inside the home, or outside the home. Her work may be completely different from yours. However, that does not remove your responsibility of being intimate with her, each night. When I say intimate with her, I am not necessarily referring to making love to her each night. As I said in my previous article, there is a lot more to a relationship, and intimacy for that matter, than making love.

Another area where I believe men ( as a whole ) have been the recipients of societal bias, and myth, is the outward expression of emotion. Growing up male during the 60's and 70's, many of us were taught, that real men don't cry. If we cried, many of us were chastised, or even punished. We were taught that men don't openly talk about their inner feelings with others, especially someone you are dating, or even married to. Many of us were taught, that wearing your heart on your sleeve, somehow made us less manly.

Contrary to what many of you ( men ) may have been taught in this area, being a man's man, is not about keeping all your feelings to yourself. Being a man's man, is not about only showing some of those deep, and inner feelings, when it is a special occasion. Being a man, is about being who you are, being proud of who you are, and sharing who you are emotionally, with the one(s) you are with. There is absolutely nothing unmanly about crying, or being open and expressive, when it comes to sharing your thoughts and feelings with the lady you are with, whether those thoughts are focused on romance, or on something completely different.

That special lady that you have, or would like to have in your life one day, needs to know, in word, and in deed, that you are secure enough in who you are as an individual, and as a man, to be open, and vulnerable with her emotionally, and not just physically. As I said in my previous article on intimacy, making love with a lady, starts long before you arrive in the bedroom. If the lady you are with, has appeared to be uninterested in making love with you lately, it very well may be, that you are the one responsible for the disconnection in that area. Making love to a lady, is about much more than whether or not, you, or both of you, had an orgasm. Making love to a lady, is about sharing with her each and every day. Making love to a lady, is about being open and vulnerable with her, each and every day, as best we know how, and can, each and every day. Making love, ( as in the spirit of love ) is not something you turn on and off, like a light-switch. There is no YOU in love making.

The final area of societal bias and myth, that I would like to address in this article, deals with the the male mindset ( that many may have, and suffer from ) that what the man says, is always right, and thats that. Contrary to what many of you ( men ) may have been taught growing up, men are not always right in what they say, much less in what they do. Contrary to what many of you ( men ) may have been taught growing up, telling the person you are with, your already 'decided on' opinion, and one that has no desire for any further input, or comment, is not equitable to communicating with your partner. If that is how some of you have been talking to your wife, or significant other, it should be no surprise to you, that your partner may be treating you like a roommate.

Most of us, have heard the expression, "It is easier to ask for forgiveness, than it is permission". I believe that far too often, men ( as a whole ) try and use this thought process, as some kind of justification for their selfish actions. If you are saying to yourself, "many ladies do the same thing". You are right. However, this article is about us men, it is not about the ladies.

As I have already stated, being in a relationship, is a two-way street. Just because you are the man in the relationship, that doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want, whenever you want, without any regard to what your partner thinks, or feels, about a particular issue, or purchase. If you are a man, who frequently makes plans, and or purchases, without communicating with your partner first, don't be surprised if she appears aloof to you. Don't be surprised if she doesn't seem to pay attention to you at all when you do talk. You have shown her time and time again, that what she thinks, and what she feels, is not important to you. By acting in such a manner, you are saying to her, through your actions, that you don't acknowledge, and appreciate, who she is as an individual first, and as your partner. Would you be inclined to want to make love to someone, who does whatever they want, whenever they want, and only tells you things when they have to, or worse yet, after the fact?

If you have struggled in the area of intimacy with your wife, significant other, or someone you would like to get closer to lately, chances are, that you are struggling with, or completely out to lunch on, one or more of the areas of societal bias, and myth.

None of us men are perfect in all of these areas. We all struggle with some of these things from time to time. I hope that after reading this article, you see yourself, your relationship, or soon to be relationship, in a whole new light.

I believe

2007-09-24T00:48:00.000-04:00

I believe-
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe-
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a
while and, you must forgive them for that.

I believe-
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I believe-
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe-
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe-
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them

I believe-
That you can keep going long after you can't.

I believe-
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe-
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe-
That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there
had better be something else to take its place.

I believe-
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I believe-
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe-
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time!

I believe-
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe-
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe-
That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe-
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've
learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe-
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe-
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe-
That our background and circumstances may have influenced
who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe-
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other, And just
because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe-
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe-
That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe-
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe-
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a
friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I believe-
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe-
That the people you care about most in life are the essence of life.
Tell them today how much you love them and what they mean to you.

Author Unknown