Holy Fire, Cake Girl!

What This Firefighter Wife Does with Clay To Help Kids Blows My Mind!

2015-05-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

Using Clay To Help Families

It is heart wrenching when children miss parents, but especially when they are gone long or often while serving their communities, like firefighters, police, or military. That's why when you see what one inspired and passionate firefighter wife does with some clay, love, and some creative genius to ease the pain of some kids, you will be beyond happy you did.

With a little imagination, pixie dust, and firefighter inspired fairy doors, she is connecting children with their parents all over. Fly on over to Backlund's Backlands and see all the magic happening. you might want to bring a tissue! A few doors definitely might make you tear up!

Yes, that is me, smarty pants. Anyone else totally sick of titles like blow your mind bla bla la?! LOL. Me too. Gotcha! But for real only about the annoying title part. If you love children and ending world hunger and world peace you better hurry up and go there and like the Backlund's Backlands FaceBook Page, before terrible things happen, like the fire fairies blow something up again. ;)

Funny People Can Hurt the Most: Robin Williams Possible Suicide Will Shed Light on Firefighter Suicide and Depression

2014-08-12T09:41:00.001-07:00

Yesterday the shocking news of Robin Williams' possible suicide has struck a cord with people suffering from depression, anxiety, and PTSD, like firefighters. It was a shock to some that the comic genius Williams was a sadly tortured soul. Often the funniest people are the ones with the deepest wounds. Much like many sad endings they can change the way the world sees things, like he already has so many times. Once again he can shine light an another stigma, the one that surrounds reaching out for help.

I hate even saying reaching out for help. It hurts too much to even think about reaching sometimes. Your body doesn't want to move out of the spot you are in. It literally hurts to think of moving your arm to another person, it is more like sharing your human-ness. You're unique scars and wounds so we can heal them up together. The way we were designed to. I feel we weren't designed to heal on our own.

Felt Like He Was Family

Like any child of the 80's I grew up hearing him call, "Gooooooood mooorning Vietnam!" and jamming to music in that movie. I knew every single word to Aladdin. I cried at Mrs. Doubtfire. He saved my from Captain Hook as Peter Panning. He was like my Dad too. Like him, I turned many of my enemies into friends with laughter. Including myself. I wish he could have kept doing the same.

Pictures showing favorite roles flooded social media. I was able to keep it together. I distracted myself from the thoughts I knew would try and stab my heart with worry. I am married to a firefighter. I feel we have both suffer from depression. I have/had postpartum. My husband is a firefighter, an officer, and was on the fire investigation team. He has seen a lot. Though he says he is fine. Suicide is #2, next to heart related deaths at #1 for firefighters. Both are totally preventable.

What happened???

What makes a person click from being fine, to shocking the world with one day not being there. Leaving everyone asking, "What happened? He seemed so happy." Did you have these thoughts too?

As the day went on, I wanted to make sure that doesn't happen. What are the signs? I know how our lives seem from the outside. I also know how hard we fight in this world to stay sane, if you know what I mean. No one knows what we are going through. Because we hold it together really well. Because, of course, like any couple, we fall apart really well together when we need to. We have been one of the lucky ones, we just keep holding on, while the right weapons to stand strong on have found us. Each time making us stronger once we come out of the issue at hand. It is what happens while you are going through those unavoidable issues of life that brings that concerns me. Does it you? Here is a hot line that is free and confidential from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255.

You see Robin Williams touched millions of lives since he was real in his comedy. We could look in his eyes and see sadness, joy, struggle, love. Most thought he was just a really good actor. The character trait that I admired most of all was his self acceptance. I guess he really was a good actor.

I tried to stop thinking about it because we are also actors, my hubby and I. Creators. Artists to our core. Why are artists so tortured? Our dream is to be someone like Robin Williams. This amazing artist who was able to help the world, to radically change it for the better, by having the courage the audacity to be who God created him to be. Like Tim Allen. Even Tim Burton.
Perfectly imperfect, and using it to help others.

I hope to help you keep doing that Robin, if this was indeed your last act.

My husband put it perfectly when he cried out, "Who has hope if he couldn't figure it out?"
I guess that is the big lie of life, that people actually figure it out. That everyone else is doing well, while you struggle. The big reality is that we all struggle, hurt, and cry. There should be zero stigma around our faults, and especially our want to grow, change, and get better.

My hubby actually didn't believe me when I told him. He went right to where all accurate information comes from, Google. I prayed he would find that it was one of those celebrity rumors you hear about, like when I was 12, Zach from Saved By the Bell died and I found out it was fake. I prayed it was the same. Instead he found this from our President.

President Barack Obama

"Robin Williams was an airman a doctor, a genie, a nanny, president, a professor, a bangarang Peter Pan, and everything in between. But he was one of a kind. He arrived in our lives as an alien- but ended up touching every element of the human spirit. He made us laugh. He made us cry. He gave us immeasurable talent freely and generously to those who needed it most."

Tears shot out of my eyes sideways at the Peter Pan part. That is my favorite roll. Next to When Dreams May Come.

My friends at Firefighter Behavioral Health, who fight to prevent suicide agree.

Yesterday they said,

"There was a guest on CNN who said of Robin Williams, that he could ring laughter to millions but never could he find laughter or peace in his own life. This seems very similar to FF's and EMT's. We provide help to people we don't even know during a crisis in their lives, yet when we are suffering we find it difficult to ask for help. Overcome what our culture dictates and reach out brothers and sisters. If you are struggling with issues in your life extend your hand for help."

"With the death of RW by suicide, it solidifies FBHA's mission to provide awareness and prevention.Our focus is on firefighters and EMS but it doesn't stop there. If you know of someone suffering, there is help.This is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-27-8255. #RobinWilliams."

YOU are loved. You are worthy. You deserve to be happy.

Happy Thought

Right now I want each of you to think of a happy thought. Shut your face and just do it. Think of one thing that will keep you going no matter what. A moment. A promise. A gift. A dream. A kiss. A child. A spouse. A sibling. A parent. A friend. Your why. Can't think of anyone? Perhaps this is your chance to share your human-ness. Your unique story. Your crazy little life might just be what someone else will connect with, giving them the courage to keep going.

When you are feeling low, surround yourself with that happy thought. Just like Williams taught us to. I pray that we can all find that Happy Thought.

Bangarang

What is your happy thought? Please write them in the comments below. As always the best discussions happen after the posts, in the comments, or on my Holy Fire Cake Girl Facebook page. Be sure to share this now on FB, Twitter, Instagram, and all your other little pages. You never know who's picture perfect life is cracking away under the surface and needs help.

Once again here is the free and totally confidential number to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255.

Robin, may your light spread and dissolve any stigma around reaching out to prevent suicide in the strongest around us, like firefighters, military, and our loved ones who carry the weight of life.

Getting Ready For the Flame Fest Firefighter Couple's Ball

2014-07-06T14:59:00.000-07:00

This will be the second official year FirefighterWife.com will be having their annual firefighter couple's convention Flame and this Holy Fire Cake Girl is exploding with anticipation! Wooo #Flamefest14 Here I come baby! I am so excited I might just do a flying firefighter slash ninja kick flip right now. Last year's was as awesome as the crème brule I had,

and this year is bound to be 100 times better. PLUS, I found THE perfect dress to do it all in.

I can barely sleep thinking of all the things I have to make, clean, organize, let alone all the things that await. Last year was AMAZING! Lori and the crew at FirefighterWife.com have really out done themselves with this weekend's agenda. With the amazing line up of speakers and sponsors, like Money Saving Mom, Marriage experts the DiLorenzo, The LowTCenters.com, Behavior Health Consultants, E3consultants, and of course the ever insightful and inspiring Lori and Dan Mercer, this is sure not only to be a huge party, but life changing as well. Plus, I will have the insiders perspective right here for you! Stay tuned to my Face Book and Instagram to stay up to the minute on all the excitement. Raffles. Amazing food. Music. Laughter. Tears. Grab Bags! You know how I love to create! Well, chasing another long time dream, I started making ceramic fairy doors at Backlund's Backlands. (LOVE the name right?!)

Inspired by all the love I have fore firefighting, I am making thee awesome fairy doors I have designed out of ceramic firefighter helmet shields to put in the grab bags! Grab bags aren't the half of the value either. SO much I can't even convey. They are even having a touch a truck event!! Seriously, I need some advice on that! Like do I need snacks, a pee bucket or what?? ;)

I am beyond humbled and honored to be a tiny part of this amazing group of women. I get to blog a bit, help write books, and just be a part of an amazingly special group of women that bless me every day just knowing them. AND I actually get to hug them in real life in 5 days!!! You have no idea how I neeeeed that hug! We have been through so much together in the fire service this past year, even if only connected online. The hope of the crew and I at FirefighterWife.com and in the exclusive Sisterhood, want nothing more than #Flamefest14 to strengthen and secure firefighter marriages all over the nation.

On the 4th of July I had the opportunity to make a last minute wedding cake. See!? Not too bad!

I almost didn't do it, but it gave me the extra cash to go SHOPPING! Thank God for sales. I wish they gave firefighter discounts too! LOL

What so you think of the three dresses!? Which would you have picked?

If you are a fan on my FB page you'll know what I did pick. Otherwise you'll have to see!

I'm super pumped to get some time alone with my firefighter. He is so on the go, I am not sure if we would take the time to take a just us vacation this year. Thank God for they are doing this just for us!!This will be so much better than the awkward Christmas dinner I'm used to. Maybe he will wear his class A's. Mmmm!

I think he is going to LOVE them. I'm going to pair them up with a pin up hair do I think.
Since I have my dress picked out now I could call my bestie hair dresser for an at home cut. Aren't I lucky!?

Here is a sneak peak.

Bwhaha Oh baby!

What are you doing to get ready for the firefighter couples convention called Flamefest?

Released Today! How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: Reigniting Your Love's Fire

2014-04-11T09:53:00.002-07:00

Today is finally here to get your copy of How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: Reigniting Your Love's Fire.

Someone pinch me.

I am very honored to share my story in The Fire Wife Academy of how I went from dreading night time, avoiding the advance from my hot firefighter, to having 27 Days of healing amazing sex with my husband. Sounds like a blast? Well, it wasn't at first... but with the 27 Days Challenge that is laid out in the new eBook is designed to reignite those choking embers into a fiery inferno of pleasure and a stronger marriage.

Here is a blurb from a post from FirefighterWife.com:

"In How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: Reigniting Your Love’s Fire, I share my very personal story and explain exactly how I put the flames back into our marriage. Get ready to fire it up yours too, with the lessons I learned in the my story, personal relationship secrets, and my romance tips. Follow this unconventional challenge I used to save my marriage with sex. I hope 27 Days make you laugh, inspires, and gives you the confidence to reignite your marriage too! Simply follow along to rekindle your intimacy with your man. Don’t be caught wishing you had."

Hear what Lori Mercer, head chief and owner at Firefighterwife.com, says about this new bold book:

"Today is always a good day to reignite those love fires. And on this day (Friday April 11th) ((((TODAYYYY!! EEEE! That's me saying that. ;) ))) you have 2 good ways to do so.

#1 It’s the LAST DAY to get access to all 6 Dating Divas Marriage Makeover Conference Speakers for ONLY $37 – Click here to register

#2 It’s the day we release our newest eBook “How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: Reigniting the Love Fires”

"46 (single spaced!) pages where this fire wife spills out her story with raw emotion, passion and a witty style that just keeps you turning pages."

HERE IS THE BEST PART!! SUPER AWESOME STEAL OF A DEAL!

"PS – if you are a Fire Wife Sisterhood member you always get 50% off Academy programs and if you register for the Divas Conference above, you get this ebook and a second one for only $7!!!"

"Do you think this is a book just about sex? We don't want to shock you like that. It's about being in a pit in your marriage and doing everything in your power to dig out and bring the love back. It's about commitment and honesty and falling back in love with your self and your husband."

"Available at this link: http://firefighterwife.com/product/27-days-sex-changed-everything-fire-wife-academy-ebook/
http://firefighterwife.com/product/27-days-sex-changed-everything-fire-wife-academy-ebook/"

and she boosts:

"Have you ever had sex with your husband 27 days in a row? That's not as easy and exciting as it sounds, especially if you've been in a slump. But sometimes it's exactly what we need.

This Friday you can read the whole personal account by... Holy Fire, Cake Girl as she has bared her soul for the benefit of helping others through that season.

Lyn shares:
"Between my husband going through firefighter academy, starting our own business, and having a new baby it was easy for the days to have turned into a week. Then when I found myself hiding in the bathroom until I was sure he was asleep, I knew I needed a major 180 in the intimacy category. "

Read an excerpt from her book here at the blog:
http://firefighterwife.com/blog/2014/04/08/27-days-sex-changed-everything-reigniting-loves-fire-firewifes-story/"

Are you ready to champion up? Fire it up today. Get started on your 27 Days Challenge now.

Thank you all again for all of your support it I pretty crazy to feel like you are outing your self out there for all the world to see. My prayer is that it help couples all over, not even just in the fire service. Marriage is a dying breed anywhere. Most agree in the fire service it is about 75%. If you like what you see, like and share this with your friends. You never know who it might reach. Then follow me on FaceBook at HolyFireCakeGirl or where I live (LOL) at FirefighterWife.com.

Announcing! How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: New EBook

2014-04-09T11:18:00.001-07:00

I'm Spilling it All in How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything

Spring is finally in the air where I live Holy crap that was the longest freaking winter I have ever lived through. My pipes are huge from shoveling. Sweet right? LOL

This winter I have also especially been living a hermit's life writing this seriously awesome eBook. Sort of the opposite of my normal running around fire fighter wife life. I have missed everyone and I am super pumped to stick my neck out there, in more ways than one, into the spring light. This REALLY IS the perfect time to have a book release about the power of sex.

I am cracking up as I write this.

Not that this is a laughing matter, but in TWO days I am gong to be revealing more of myself to the world than I ever have. AND you guys know I share a lot here. When I get nervous I giggle. Like bad. Needless to say everything is making me giggle Don't you dare go on FB land and try to get me to laugh either, I can't take it!! My head is going to explode!!

So my lovely, lovely hotties you, I am REALLY going to need your support here. I swear I have been quiet for good reason. Hotties, don't fail me now!! ;)

If you have ever liked, shared, commented, or followed anything I have written, all of that work has lead to this crazy moment.

I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for standing by me.

There were times when I felt like no one was listening except my Mom. And then I wondered if she even was. LOL. I know that 350 some odd FB fans may not seem like a ton to anyone. But I would rather have each and every one of you, then 300,00 fake ones. (Even if only 4% of you get my stuff Thank you FB and your fabulous rules. :) )
With out all of your words of encouragement, and pushing me to write and share more, there I no way I would have written this.

Here come the goods.

How 27 Days of Sex Changed Everything: Reigniting Your Love's Fire is a book where I bare my heart and soul, sharing my story.
I was depressed. Post partum. My hubby had just joined the fire department and was going through Fire Academy. Which meant a full time hours for that. We had just started an asphalt company after the failing car industry ate our finances. And our lunches. I had just had my second baby. We lost our house. Moved in next to family. We had no money. My hair was even falling out. I felt ugly. Alone. Exhausted. I joke here in this post that it was "The worst year of my life". Although it just wasn't funny at the time.
On top of that he was a super crabby mess from lack of sleep, high stress, no time at home, loads of work to do everywhere he went, and the pressure of passing classes tests.
I was also a crabby wreck.
I was spent.
The last thing I wanted to do was give it up.
Can I get an Amen to that if you have ever felt this way??
I was desperate for something to change for fear of losing him.

Since then I have seen huge things happen in my marriage, and the least I can say here, s that we are both much, MUCH happier.

If you desire and pray for a deep change in the intimacy in your marriage, this book might JUST be what sparks that fire back in you and your spouse.
This book is among a series of eBook written for FireFighterWife.com called
The Fire Wife Academy. See the sweet things she says about the book being released here. <3

If you remember I had the huge honor of helping with the first one The End Of Worry Fear and Sleepless Nights. It has helped so many of my sister become stronger, I was super pumped to share my 27 Days Challenge to fire up love lives. My number one mission is to help strengthen fire marriages out there, and putting myself out on a limb (and Faith) seems like a total logical way to do just that. Who better to ask than a firefighter wife right?
I hope you feel that fire too!

How 27 Days will be available April 11th through Fire Fighter Wife.

So share with your friends everywhere who might be in slumps too. Who doesn't need some fire in their bedroom right?
Again, THANK YOU for being you!
I adore you!
AS always I'll be at my HFCG's Face Book page and in the Fire FIghter Wife Page. Though I usually hang out in the secret one you have to be a member of so we can get real. :) Give a shout out ether way and tell me what you think!

Detroit Mutual Aid Mission Attack

2014-01-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

Cake Girl Goes Home with Detroit Mutual Aid

This weekend I was honored and blessed to be a fly on the wall at many of Detroit's Fire Houses, by being a tiny part of something huge. I got to tag along with FirefighterWife.com's Lori Mercer and help with her Detroit Care Pack Mission. We all know no one throws a party like a Firefighterwife party, right? I mean just check us out with these extraction tools! Makes you want to pitch right in!

FirefghterWife.com was asked be a guest of the National Firefighter Endowment, and join them in spreading some true love to our firefighting brothers in Detroit. We did what we do best, united and spreading the love! Wives all over the US came together to collect donations, make crafts and cookies, so we could give warm fuzzies to the fire families, as a bonus to what AMAZING things that NFE was already doing. Even our tiny town's Hamburg Township Fire Department wives got together to make some items! A sisterhood member even drove over an hour to help! (Thanks Rebecca!) They sold Detroit Mutual Aid T-shirts to raise over $60,000 with t-shirt sales which was then leveraged with partner vendors to bring approximately $150,000 in new gear and equipment to Detroit.

The firefighters were so touched that wives like us, thought of them and their families that they leave behind each day to fight a new a dangerous battle.

If you follow me on FaceBook or Instagram, you saw this live as we traveled through the city. The National Firefighter Endowment to deliver equipment to these very deserving houses, Detroit Mutual Aid.

When I heard that there was a chance that I could help in any way give back to the city that raised me to be the brazen, tough, spunky, quirky, sarcastic, determined, surviving soulful singing girl I am, I was ecstatic to say the least.

Burning City

The city I knew, that we had to leave behind, was a place of strength, of enginuity, of pure industry and survival. Tough like the steel it produced in its cars. Yet at he same time, it was an enormous place of joy, love, and beautiful as the songs it birthed. All surrounded by red privacy fences and mall strips of grass and your one tree per yard, ours was the prettiest on the block in the fall. My heart nearly broke when we moved to the country. What else is a family to do when under attack, but run to safer ground? Well my 13 year old self wanted to fight, there in the battle grounds.

Well, my 34 year old self, can fight in another way.

Determined, leaving my sick kiddos behind, I put on my snow pants, except that they aren't pink anymore. I bobsledded my car through freezing temps and record snows, passing by pin outs and car accidents. Nothing could stop me from getting a chance to thank my brothers, and join arms with my sisters.

If you have ever seen the movie, or the trailer for BURN, this is what I am talking about. Our brothers, the men our husbands work with and depend on, are fighting a city burning down, while people shoot at them, without proper safety gear and equipment.

In all they visited 14 stations, 2 of which were shown in the Burn movie. I got to talk to Chris Palm, and several other who shared similar stories. People steal equipment right off the trucks. They come for food, we give it to them. Then, they make fake calls, and run in the opening doors to steal food, gear, and equipment. We talked about how sad it was, how torn your heart is for the need of the city, and of the station to save them from themselves. "The other day," Chris Palm pointed to a corner of the bay, "We backed the truck up and found a guy sleeping right there."

Here is just one example of the beauty that lies here in the ruins and hope of a burning city. This old station actually faces the new one, surrounded by boarded up houses. ne of the firefighter here told me the neighbors paint pretend drapes on the boards to cheer up the atmosphere of the surrounding homes.

Driving through the city blocks was haunting in a way. I could hear kids playing, building snowmen, throwing a fat snowball at another, but there were no children to be seen.

In fact there are blocks upon blocks of beautiful old houses, taken my the streets, but still standing like a proud old man. Blocks of burnt, or half standing abandoned houses, with maybe one or two houses with residents in them. Gorgeous brick work, and architecture, make me long to jump in a time machine, so I can see it in its former shining glory.

Then, like little sparks flying up from a fire, little flickers of hope would rise in me. Powerful graffiti, with gorgeous and triumphant styles would peek out in between alleys. Alleys that are vacant to the passer by, but full of hope and perseverance to me.

This what runs in the veins of the Detroit Firefighters. Hope and perseverance. They are battling this city a blaze against all odds, and they do it with the grace an humility of a knight.

They showed such a gracious, humble, appreciative side, I have been blessed beyond all measures to see.

The knights in the patches, badges, and faded axes.

"It's been a long time since we've seen yellow on an ax." one Captain said.

My eyes swelled with tears many times over gloves, flashlights, things our men don't think twice about. Tools that bring them home safe. Ones that every firefighter should have the RIGHT to have. That is NFE's mission, to help bring them home safe.

Some Detroit VIP's, eager to show their appreciation for what NFE did too!

I mean who can say no to that face???

Who didn't want to be a fireman when they were growing up?!

Who's hearts wouldn't be full?!

Shane, from NFE, THE Dan and Lori Mercer, and Me!

Kindness is contagious.

Of course, as any good baby blogger would, my second favorite part was watching all of the "Big Wig Stars" of the fire world come together in real life was awesome.

Here is Rhett from The Fire Critic. My bestie Lori Mercer from Firefighterwife.com and her daughter!

There Lori and I are in front of a gorgeous motor city old school car.

There with that amazing 'stach is Captain Willie Wines from Wooden Ladders and Iron Firemen. Ladies, both men love kilts almost as much as me. Plus they are stand up firemen with hearts of gold for this service and the well being of its people. Even The "Model City" Firefighter was there! I was like a groupie at a DTE music concert. If you haven't go checkout there blog and subscribe today!

I felt like the dork tagging along, snapping pictures of the crews even, but I don't think anyone cared!

If I broke any baby blogger rules, no one told me! ;)

Here is Channel 7's interview! Click Here For News Cast or Here!

IF you didn't know, LIKES and SHARES are my LOVE language. ;)

Come sizzle on over to my Facebook page Holy Fire! Cake Girl!!!!

Thank you beautiful Detroit! The BIGGEST thank you goes to all of YOU who helped create craft, bake cookies, and shared all of those t-shirt promotion for #detroitmutualaid!

If I actually get this published in time, tonight is the VERY last night you can purchase a #Detroitmutualaid t-shirt to help raise future funds too!
You've got two hours! GO!!
<3 All my fiery heart
Lyn AKA CakeGirl

Please Help Detroit Fire Families

2013-12-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

This is an email I just sent to our secretary I would love your prayer and positive thoughts for! Thanks!

Hi Rita,

This is CakeGirl, Sgt. B's wife.

I know that you are very busy so I will try to keep this short and sweet, but I could really use your help getting this out to the department. Could you do that for me? I wasn’t sure who to talk to about it.

Dear HTFD,

This is CakeGirl, Sgt. B's wife. As you may or may not know, Detroit's Fire Departments are in deep and desperate need of help. If you have watched the movie or seen the trailer for Burn, you know the real need and suffering these guys go through. Did you know they go without some basic safety gear and protection. They are in such desperate need there was a campaign started where fire departments can sponsor or donated equipment. http://www.detroitmutualaid.com/

The are asking for things like gloves, and hoods, flashlights, and axes. I mean simple but VITAL equipment. Here is a picture from one of their wish lists. It might shock you.

*
Extrication Gloves

COST NEW: $46

QUANTITY REQUESTED:14

Purchase

Donate Surplus

*
PIG - FORCIBLE ENTRY TOOL

COST NEW: $190

QUANTITY REQUESTED:2

Purchase

Donate Surplus

*
FlashLights

COST NEW: $56

QUANTITY REQUESTED:14

Purchase

Donate Surplus

*
NOMEX FIREPROOF HOOD

COST NEW: $23

QUANTITY REQUESTED:14

Purchase

Donate Surplus

*
Flashlights - Helmet Mounted

COST NEW: $120

QUANTITY REQUESTED:14

Purchase

Donate Surplus

Things that every firefighter has the right to have. It breaks my heart to think of these guys going out, while their city burns all around them, without even basic safety gear. What bothers me even more is the families that they leave behind, promising them they are safe. Telling their sons and daughters, and wives that they will come home. Yet not even having the proper equipment. Which to me means, not the proper chance either.

As a department, as a brotherhood, we have a policy that everyman goes home, right? How can we not extend this to our brothers next door? How can we sit by and do nothing, while we know that only an hour away, there are brothers who are not safe. Their families need them to be.

One of the reasons I agreed to enter this fire life together with my husband, when he joined the department, is because his chief promised me he would be safe. That every man goes home. That we look after each other. As a wife, that carries me through some tough spots.

I can’t imagine what the firefighters in Detroit bravely tell their spouses, children, loved ones.

I can’t imagine, facing the dangers and the amount of fire they see, being one of their wives. It terrifies me to think of it and I am not sure if I would be that strong.

How can we help?

Well, here is project we are linking arms with. Firefigherwife.com is an online community of fire wives acros the US. We started in 2012 with a FaceBook page, and quickly realized we needed a private and safe place to talk, and support each other. As many of you know, I help blog and administer the site. This place has been a life saver for me, and the 250 members, growing at an amazing pac, with over 24,000 fans. Every single day we get ladies who are on the verge of divorce, who are full of anger, hurt, fear, worry, and we help them through it with our shared experiences. It is place to go where other people get the stress, joy, hardships, sacrifice, and independence needed to be a fire wife. Marriages and lives have been changed, and it is are real blessing to be a small part of it.

Logically, after we heard that there was an opportunity to help we jumped on it. We are moved to go beyond the equipment and do something for the families. Across the nation we are asking fire wives out there to get together and make care packs for their families! We are looking for 350 carepacks in total to be donated. The items we make and that people donate will be collected by January 15th and delivered late January.

I am looking for a group of wives locally that would like to help with making some easy crafts, a modge podged memory box or frame, to send in care packs. Again we are looking for one for each Detroit family, 350 all together, and we already have 100 pieces promised to be made across the US. I say we need to represent, being so close. That’s where you come in!

Growing up in Detroit, even having my spouse train with some of these guys, I feel compelled to personally help this way. If you do too, please contact me at blablabla@gmail.com. I will be getting together with fellow fire wives that want to help. As a thank you to anyone who helps by making a craft, they will get one FREE month of membership to the Firefighter Wife Sisterhood. For all the details click here. You can donate $5 to cover the cost of the supplies at the meeting. I will need a head count quickly, as we all know December flies by. To sign up for donating a handmade item, please register at this form and watch for details and instructions and email me letting me know you did to help with the head count so I can buy the supplies in advance for us. For more details on the craft project click here.

I will send you more information, and we can work out a time that will work for most of us.

If you want to help, but can’t meet up or don’t feel like being crafty, their are item on sale at firefighterwife.com that can be directly donated to the families that will also go in the care packs, like stocking winter hats, necklaces, tumblers, and more donatable items here at this link.

I will also be at the Christmas Dinner and Breakfast with Santa if you’d like to talk more!

Thank you in advance!

Antlers Maltese Cross Thermal for A Hunter Fire Fighter Lover

2013-12-04T19:14:00.002-08:00

A Special Breed
Ever feel like, "Isn't it enough that he is a fire fighter? DOes he have to have a whole other time consuming hobby/lifestyle like hunting? Whether you are like me with an avid hunter fire fighter, you join him in the woods, or maybe he only can get out a few times a year, we are a special breed right?

Check out this Thrmal that says it all! I am so super pumped! I made a shirt with an antler an a Maltese cross in our private firefighterwife.com Sisterhood, and the ladies went crazy! So very special, just for us, we made up this simple, unisex, versatile Thermal Tee. One that shows everyone how you roll!
A perfect gift for you, your firefighter hunter, or favorite family member fan!

http://inktothepeople.com/marketplace/ink-detail/14484

Here is the link with all the details on FFW's FB page.
Available for 5 DAYS!!! Thru December 9th!
Order quick! Just in time for delivery for Christmas!

Here is the link directly to order.

I can't wait to cozy up in one! Or next to one! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

We hope you LOVE it a much a we do! Can't wait to get one for me and see my hottie in one!

Happy Hunting
Happy Holidays
<3 Lyn Aka Cake Girl

Cake Girl Goes To Flame Fest- An Exclusive Review Of Fire Wife Convention

2013-08-07T21:35:00.003-07:00

Well, the clouds have parted for the moment. All the kids are being good. Finally, I have a minute to write about the very first Flame Fest! Woo HOO! What is Flame Fest, you might ask? It is a gathering of fire wives across the nation, with the goal of educating, encouraging, and strengthening marriages. Why, you might ask? The first thing that pops in my head? Well, because of the 75%. The 75% of marriages that are statistically doomed to fail in the fire life! That is just unacceptable, and as you know, has been my whole reason for starting this blog, specifically for fire wives, my passion, nearly three years ago now. Crazy! I never thought I'd still be talking!!!

Fighting to change the fire industry
from a 75 % divorce rate a 75% success rate.

Secondly, I feel like women are the glue that hold stations together. Even though they aren't even there, we keep things flowing. We fill in the gaps when needed. Make those bonds at Christmas dinners, or picnics. Who keeps the guys happy at home? Able, energized, emotionally stable, peaceful enough to come back? I know we aren't responsible for that, but we sure have a ton to do with it! And you know what? If they aren't keeping them happy, mark my words, either the marriage is going or the fire department is. Or both. If that happens, then really, what was the point of in the first place? The fire life is so different then most, as you know men. That can leave us literally alone, and feeling alone with no one to connect with. Leaving us with more challenges to face then we should have to deal with. Things happen, that only another fire wife can help with. I know personally, my marriage is better directly from conversation held at 1 am, with another wife up with a similar situation. Or the other side of the 1 am conversation, helping us battle the worry and fear that can grip us all, while you guys a gone fighting the fight. (We know you love it.) Flame Fest is a place where wives can make those in real life connections. We will have real people we can trust, that we actually know will be there for us, say if something does happen.

Here they are. Real life, non catty, non gossipy, uplifting Wives!

Tokens that stay with me and keep me fire strong.
My Flame Fest chip, the cross my hubs got me,
and my Fire Strong Sister Pendant.
Special Gifts given at FlameFest.

Flame Fest is put on by a fire wife I am blessed to call sister and friend, fellow blogger extraordinaire, Lori Mercer owner of FireFighterWife.com, and her husband Dan. Here is what she said about the event. Plus there may or may not be a quote or two from me. (Lori, by the way has an even bigger heart for changing those stats about divorce in fire, if that is possible.) I wanted to take this opportunity to thank her for all the work behind the scenes she put into this. Personally, I have been to probably, well let's see 8 years, 6 conferences a year, plus weekly meetings we never missed, not to mention a gazillion at home parties and expos, over at least 100 conference type thingys. By far, Flame Fest 2013 was a 5 star event! One of the top events I have been to. Plus, for being the first one ever, it was unbelievably amazing! Next years' should be even bigger and better.

The Ladies!

One of the best hugs ever!

As if that wasn't a big enough dream come true to put me into star struck mode, I was also meeting the rest of the Trusted Advisors Board for the first time. If you didn't know a little over a year ago now, I was super humbled and honored to be asked to be a part of it. We have been through so much as a community, in the wife community in general, plus with so many LODD's this year,

I made such special bonds with each of these girls. Plus so
many others. Love you Jennifer, Cindy,(me),Lori, Flat Reggie,
Flat Katt, Jessie, Trina, and Heather. The hottest Advisor Board EVER!

us Mama's needed to be the pillars of strength and of frailty at the same time. The lighthouse in the group. Let's just say it was a little emotional for me to meet them all. First, my fellow blogger loves Cindy from FireWifeLife.com and Trina from TooHotToHandle.blogspot.com, and Jessie, Heather, Jennifer, and we made Flat Reggie and Flat Katt, whom couldn't make it. They were so hilarious! If you are around the forums you will recognize them.

Husband who were able to come had a blast too! They went to a shooting range when we were having our "girl talk afternoon." Mine loved seeing the Pink Heals Truck who drove there, but more on that later.

Food, Fun, and Prizes

There was tons of great food, treats, and drinks. The dinner was so very delicious. I even tasted Crème Brule for the first time ever!! SO scrumptious! There were vendors with tons of cool new things to introduce and buy. I loved this glow in the dark Helmet wrap FoxFire is putting out as an exclusive glow in the dark matching heart. That way I can keep the heart by my bed on nights when he is out and it reminds me he is a little extra safe.

The Swag

I also won a ton of stuff from raffles! Everyone did!! Let's give a huge shout out to all the sponsors and vendors who helped either with donations for raffles and for the goody bags. There were so many, I am going to highlight my favorites. I seriously went home with so much swag, I felt like it was Christmas. Paintings, prints, T-shirts, stickers, collecting chips... I even got a Beach Body FocusT25 work out DVD! The hubby and I are gonna do it together. I am super excited to get buff!

It was way more than what I expected or even hoped for. The dinner alone was more than what our ticket costs. Not to mention, all I learned from the speakers that were there! She had the perfect variety of speakers. No one was too long or stuffy.. Actually now that I think about it, 3 out of the 6 key note speakers mentioned how important sex is to relationships. As you know if you follow here, that lines up with what I promote and encourage here. A super hot, dare I even say, steamy, sex life that will keep your marriage hot, no matter the age or background. We even got to here from Chief Laskey, awesome guy, via video on how important he felt our mission to help strengthen and encourage fire marriages was to the fire service. That is was essential. Why, I was even surprised with the honor of awarding our first Mrs. Flame to Mrs. Lori Mercer! I was so excited! For once, I wasn't nervous! I even got to share a little in the afternoon from stage! It might not of made sense, but I did share!

Even the Marla Taviano was there. She sat at my table for most of the event, and until she got on stage, I had no idea she was a famous lady! My hubs and hers got along great. Her husband , the very talented photographer for the event as well, Gabe has an incredible story about how a firefighter touched their lives during a heart attack. Do you want to know how awesome these people are?! They are one of those people, wait for it... go BACK to the station and thank the fire fighters who saved his life! Yes- one of those!who She is the Author of The Husband's Guide To Getting Lucky, and has a fabulous blog. I know what you are thinking, you are buying a ticket now! Right!? Well you should it was that god of a talk. Ask my mister! Plus, she spoke to us about her 52 zoo trip, and her mission in Cambodia. Truly amazing. Check her out!! They traveled the US completely on faith alone, to 52 zoos, after a very tough situation prevented them from going overseas on a planed mission trip. They already had there kids pulled out of school and the decided to make the best of it. It is a cool story of relying on faith and the kindness of strangers, per say. I love her now an you should too.

Signs of Post Traumatic Stress in the Fire Service
My husband, really enjoyed talking one on one with Mark Lamplugh, a miracle survivor really,
from 1stResponderTreatment.com. He was there to talk about PTSD, his touching story, and the dangers and signs that we as wives could watch out for. I found this highly educational. One thing that stuck with both of us, was how he basically said a department or brotherhood will help a fellow fire fighter, with anything. They put all this time, training, and money into them. They will help them move a 100 times, raise funds for things they need, go through literal fires together, but then they will watch a brother burn away emotionally. How true is that? Sounds just like what I have been saying! They will watch his life fall apart, possibly creating addictions to escape, their marriage crumble, and their brother broken. We have got to stop this. There has to be a better way. If you know anyone facing this, you have got to get them this information.

The Facts From The Fire Fighter Cancer Foundation
Cindy El from Firefighter Cancer Foundation was full of really good info you are going to want wives to know. For example I had no idea about washing and storing bunker gear separate because the are full of carcinogens. Some info just don't get passed on. Or where to make wills. My favorite was all the alternative places they are looking at for finding and curing cancer. They are even using dogs that can sniff out cancer! Even more exciting is that they have programs where they can bring these dogs right to fire departments, I believe, for like ten bucks each can have them check fire fighters!! How cool is that?! It was pretty eye opening at how many chemicals we come in contact with that could cause cancer from fire fighting. So much good info there!

The Pink Truck Was Here!

One of the coolest moments for many attendees was the signing of the Pink Heals Truck. This is a truck that has been donated by an area or FD that has either lost or been affected deeply by cancer. Then they name the truck after that person, paint it pink, and drive it all over, letting people sign loved one's names. The couple who drove GiGi here, happened to be a fire fighter and his wife. Whom by the way where awesome too, and do this on top of a crazy fire fighter schedule. It is sort of like a moving memorial. I didn't think I would be affected so deeply until my husband wrote an unusual name for me, a fire fighter wife's. Marybeth, who'd just lost her life to cancer, maybe a few months ago. Not a fire fighter, but a wife. Not a thought I have turned to often.

For Donna

For MaryBeth

I deal with the possibility of his death all the time, right? My own? Not so much. I sort of tuck that one way down deep. So, with a deep sigh I added another one, an unusual for maybe a Pink Truck. A child's name. Donna. My blogger friend, someone I have stolen as a friend because of how moving the story is that she shared on Huffington Post about Donna was, I can't let her go. I have never met Donna, or Donna's Mama, but I love them both so much. Her family has also been touched by fire fighters, as so many have been. You can read about it here in the link in this post. So, there is a truck named GiGi driving to towns, carrying on, in honor of Marybeth and Donna.

Woo Hoo The Dating Divas!

See here I am. Star Struck!

Then to lighten the mood, or fire it up, wink, wink, there was Tara and Wendy from the Dating Divas! Another start truck moment I had was when Lori and I were running around and ran into them by the pool. They were so stinking cute, full of energy, hilarious, just as awesome as I see myself in my own head. I am humble in real life, but not so sure that comes across here. I just like to be funny. come on people!! They have a site where there are literally thousands of dating ideas to spice your marriage up. Like sneak into our hubby's car, leave handcuffs and a note, hide in the back seat, and say I am kidnapping you, drive to the nearest bedroom sort of dates! HOT right!? On top of that they have a great support system, sort of like us fire wives on firefighterwife.com. So they have blogs and understand all the behind the scene action and effort it can take to stay or be in the mood. They were so sweet they even created a special super hot fire fighter themed date night, just for us! Woo hoo! Thank you very much! Don't mind if I do!! I seriously wish I could jump in their car and ride around laughing all day long, dating our husbands together. If they lived near me I'd stalk them. Bwhaha. Just kidding. Sort of.

Last but not least, I can't leave out Hal Runkel, the author of Scream Free Marriage, which hardly about actual screaming. This book is so amazing and has changed some really huge things in my life lately. My favorite points so far are that we create the very problems we are trying to avoid. Let's see, that even I have a lot of growing up to do. That it is OK for a woman to desire sex. That confidence is as much of a turn on as red lipstick, and much, much, more. So much I am going to do another post on it later.

There was even a very moving bag pipe tribute to the LODD's this year. It was beautiful, emotional, and respectful. We prayed for them and their families as a group.

All in all in was a life changing day and a half. It was a great get away with my husband. He said he loved seeing me hustle, leading some ladies again. That he saw a side of me that ignited while I was there he had never seen before. I can't pin point what that was, all I am telling you is that is what he said. What I walked away with, besides tons of swag, was more confidence in myself and my marriage. Of course, for me it further ignited and solidified my passion, giving me the confirmation that this conference is so needed in the fire service. There needs to be marriage rescue. Humorously I picture, all of us fire wives, instead of these sexy dresses, sexy ghost buster like outfits, wands in hands, spraying bad marriages down with healing, healthy slime! Yes, I know, I am weird. It's those dang 80's movies, I tell ya.

If you are looking for more info on sponsoring, donating, or attending next year's Flame Fest, just let me know. If your department is interested in sponsoring Fire Wife site memberships for the fire wives in your department and homes, we have that for that too.

Also if you like any of the items I won or you saw in the pictures, there is a full list of them on Lori's Blog Post about Flame Fest here.

Tell me you hotties, what other kind of vendors/ sponsors would you like to hear from next year?
Sniff...
Excuse me for a minute... I have something in my eye.

Or, maybe I just left Flame Fest and can't wait for next year!

Trying to Find My First Red Lipstick For The Fire Wife Conference

2013-07-22T14:44:00.004-07:00

If you don't know, very, very soon, I am going to the first ever, for fire fighter wives across America, a conference just for us, Flame Fest. There I am going to meet some very special ladies. A few larger than life bloggers, I have looked up to for a long time, and my closest ring of fire wives, well, plus almost 100 more of us, are going to meet in real life!

Now you know, this calls for a new pair of shoes, a few dresses, and some RED lipstick. This IS a fire fighter event. I need red, right?! The only challenge is that I don't wear makeup that much. I haven't bought a lipstick form the store in over 10 years. After all, I was in direct sales for a makeup company, why would I? Not that I evened owned lipstick then. I am gloss kind of girl. Anyway, this left me lost in the grocery store make up isle, yes I know some of you are cringing right there. Did she say grocery store isle???

This is not me!

It took me 2 minutes, but I finally found a red that matched my skin tone, wasn't orange, and wasn't too pink. Yes IS that hard to find just plain old red! Oy vey. I hate make up shopping.

Not me, either. LOL.

Needless to say, I was so excited I put it on in the car on the way home. Not while I was driving!!!! Geesh! I looked hot!! Unfortunately, my hubby was on call and had a training that night, and I didn't get to see him. The kids however loved I and couldn't stop touching my lips and kissing me. So funny. Wait till I paint my toe nails!! HA Ha Ha!

The next morning, I was grateful to find he made it home sometime in the night. I woke him up with a kiss on the cheek, before I hopped out to grab the crying baby that is my alarm clock. He slowly opened his eyes, squinting at the light, stretched his arms out, paused and looked at me with tilted head, and started laughing!! "Nice red lip stick babe. Did you put that on to kiss me?" My hands flew up and grabbed my lips. Great I thought, I am allergic to this lipstick or something. This is how clueless I am to make up. I grabbed the box out of my purse to read the ingredients, and noticed it says 6 hour wear!! FOR REAL!!?? Ha! This stuff is awesome. AND true to it's claims, does last and last. A little red for the bedroom morning look but, not for night time!! Bazinga!

Funny Being On The Other Side Of A 911 Call

2013-07-22T13:48:00.004-07:00

It was a late autumn night. I remember I was reading the boys a bedtime story when I heard tumbling into the door. It sounded like my husband, who had been out in the garage cleaning a deer, came in the house and threw a bunch of shoes out of his way. Not thinking much of it, until I heard him call my name, in a weird voice of dread. Jumping up, I ran to the kitchen and saw him holding the top bicep of his arm, him falling over, and then seeing a bit a blood coming out from his fingers. Great.

Rewind back to the garage. My husband is at the crucial point when preparing a deer to be meat, when you tae the tail off, or something. I am not quiet sure. Honestly, it has taken me 11 years to be comfortable cooking with it. All I do know is that my hubby said every hunter knows what he did. He turned the knife towards himself to pop the tail off, I think , hahaha, and as he told himself not to do it, he did it. Two seconds later, the bone at the base of the tail pops right off, and the knife continues in motion, right into the inside of his bicep. It happened so fast, it was like a stage knife, where the blade just disappears into the handle, except that it didn't. It was like he got in a knife fight with himself. Yep. He shanked himself.

It was his arm. Then the wound, became apparently serious, when it squirted, instead of dripped. Never a good sign. At first, my brother who was there learning the ropes, says, "You didn't!" At the sight of his beloved brother in law's blood, he turned white, and passed out on the floor! Some help, he was.

Back to in the house. The hubby, calmly says, "I need help, but I am OK. I need to make it to the bathroom. I stabbed myself." In return, I calmly say back, "You what!!!!???!!!!" The next thing you know, we are in the bathroom, and of course there are no towels anywhere! At the same time, I hear my brother come in, so I yell out, bring a towel when you walk by the clothes! He bring me a shredded wash rag I use to clean the floor. So in my normal fashion, I burst out laughing, "I need a TOWELL!!!" Still white as a ghost, he stumbles back and grabs another one. As my husband s calling out orders, like I need a t-shirt or a blanket. Like a nurse in an ER sitcom, I shout out the same orders, "Blanket, STAT!" My poor brother, returns from the biggest assortment of blankets you have ever seen. (My couch, that day.) I absolutely lost it laughing, when he brings me the most see through, hugest, holiest afghan, I own. I mean the hole on it are the size of baseballs! It was apparent to me at least he was going to have to go to the hospital. He for sure needed stiches. How is that gonna keep him warm in the car?!

It might as well of been a doily.

Before I knew it, I grabbed a different blanket, was helping him put a shirt on, and into the car. As I sped off, my hubby started thinking, what if I pass out? I am feeling a little dizzy. If I hit an artery, I could die on the way to the hospital. "L, you better call 911. Tell them I have a legion., bla, bla, bla,. Just drive to the station and we will meet the guys there. " I was already on it. The dispatcher clucked out a normal greeting, which I interrupted, sorry to whoever that was!! I tried to be calm, but all in one breathe I said, "My husband has a legion on his arm... Then, I quickly gave up on the technical jargon, and said, he stabbed himself in the arm, and he might have hit an artery! We are on the way to the hospital and but now he is passing out. I am worried about the time, and now we are on the way to the fire station!" This poor lady asked me some very frustrating questions like, what is my address, and how he did it. In my head I was not very nice and ashamed to say was like, Listen B, stop asking me dumb questions, just send out the call!! Because of course we are listening to the radio too. I felt so bad for getting angry, but then she said,
"Can I ask you to turn around and go home?"
Are you kidding me??!! There is no way I am turning around. #1 we are almost there. #2 My house was a mess. #3 My brother was throwing up when I left him, #4 My kids are probably duck taping him and throwing him in the closet by now! #5 By no means, did I need 8 FFs up in there! Instead I said, "Um, no. We are almost to the station now!" In the back ground he moans out, tell her it's Sergeant 12. Obeying, I told her, It s for Sergeant 12. Not kidding, one second later, the tones were dropped, we pulled into the parking lot, and there was someone flying in right behind me to help.

It was pretty awesome. Of course I was concerned, but as soon as Chief and about 15 firefighters. including all the newbies my hubby was teaching, the hunter man was chuckling, though still white as rice. The Chief even wet with him in his personal emergency vehicle. My man was no way getting in an ambulance, for some weird reason. That is a perk I never thought of having! I should have thought of that on the way to the hospital while going into labor, with the baby. Maybe I wouldn't have been sent home and had to go back!

Being a part of a brotherhood is something I love about being in the fire life. Thankfully this time, my 911 call was only something laughable, and only required ten stitches to fix. Have you ever had a funny emergency in your home?

911 Emergency! There Is Poop In The Bath Tub!

2013-03-27T09:08:00.001-07:00

Ahhh, yes. The life of a fire wife is sometimes a little silly. Especially, when your hubby is gone. As I am running a bath for my 10 month old, my oldest son comes running through the door, "I gotta poooop!!" As he flies by me, my 5 year old son, who is enamored with the thoughts of farting, burping, and any other bodily function, who laughs just like Seth McFarland, "Uh huhuhhuh." follows him in joining in all the pooping excitement.

We all got the giggles, until suddenly my 5 year old screams like bloody murder, "EEeee Ahh! Mom!! There's POOP in the bathtub!!" SO of course, we all scream like girls! Ew!!! Not really knowing what to do, I put the baby on the floor, then snatched a piece of toilet paper and just grabbed that floating evil turd! Needless to say, I almost missed throwing it in the toilet, which resulted in all of nearly throwing up! To fix that, my brilliant mind thinks, unplug the drain, so you can just grab it easier. You see, the only problem, is my drain does not have a cover over it. It is just a hole in the bath tub, because the lever broke. (Another thing with the hubs being gone all the time is little things like that just get placed on the back burner. ) There is nothing blocking anything form going down! Normally not a problem, except the hole was just big enough for this little log to get sucked down the drain and just sit there! I scream, Oh SH@t! (oopsy!) (No pun intended, wah wah!) My swearing sends my kids into utter panic mode and I start cracking up at the hysteria of it all. That is when my 5 year old lost it.

Totally freaking out, C yells, "Mom, call 911!!" Snorting with laughter, but trying to hold it back I asked why. He replied, "We gotta get my Dad! Itsh an Emergenshy! There's poop stuck in the baftub!"

Second brilliant idea, since I know my kid isn't going to stop the emergency talk, I'd let him call my hub's phone and leave a voice mail. Since he never picks it up while he is at the station teaching, I thought we'd be safe. That's what I get for thinking. My husband hears my little one stuttering, Dad, there's, there's am emergeshy. mumble mumble, something about a bath, and mom. Freaking out, I hear his father say, "Where is your Mother?!" C then says clearly as a bell, "There's is POOP stuck in the baf TUB!!"

Thankfully, my husband went from panic mode to hysterics too, faster than he could react to it! Even funnier is that he answered his phone in front of his class, thinking it was an emergency, and everyone got to hear our drama for the night... Yup. When they say welcome to the Fire Family, you don't realize how deep you are gonna get in!

Have your kids ever wanted to call 911 for Daddy?

Please Help Save a Dad, a Friend, A Hero

2013-03-24T07:38:00.003-07:00

We a have always been blessed for our struggles to mainly be financial. Despite my extreme allergies, asthma, and eczema, and my fear of having children that would need to live in the torture of the bubble as I call it, I pushed that fear down and had them anyways. Thankfully, they are all so very healthy. I may need n inhaler in my pocket where ever I go, but I am thankful we have never had to deal with anything serious.

A few years ago, one of my dear friends, someone who has served and served and served, started to fight. His wife I had become very close with, who also has a heart to serve others. Seriously people, they are the most giving, kind, and caring people I have ever met. Now, now, they need help. As it sometimes is with servers, we are not accustom to be the ones needing help. The same way, it is extremely humbling to ask for it. Won't you please watch their video and consider giving even a few bucks. It is all the 5's and tens that can add up to help for this family.

This fight has come a very difficult time for them. Only about a year after her first daughter was born, Kara's Papa, her hero, was sadly dying from cancer. While she was spending the last week of his life with him, her other hero was secretly going to his own Doctor appointments. After only a week after losing her father, Jud had to tell her while she was gone that he had now been diagnosed with cancer. With Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. Life often throws you blessings in times of sadness .. A week later, they were so blessed to welcome their second baby girl into the world. But now, they had 2 babies to live for.

After spending all of their savings over 200,000 on alternative treatments, now they have to go for Chemo. This is so costly. Over $8,000 per treatment... They have exhausted there savings, and he is still trying to carry on as normal for his two young daughters. I don't ask often for help, but this is extremely close to my heart. I am believing for a full recovery no matter what any Dr. says. Whether it is prayers or a donation, please help this family. Take your coffee money for one day and help 2 little girls, and a Momma, cling to hope. Hope. And Love. I love you Kara and Jud. You have meant so much to my family. You are there for others at a drop of a hat. I have seen you go above and beyond, over and over, for people you hardly know. You are true.You have always been inspiring, someone we have looked up to. Now it is time for us to help you.

If you feel led to give just click here on the BLUE GIVE button.

All of you reading this, please, please, hit the share button. That is the easiest thing to do to help! You never know who you know that can help. Thank you so much! From the bottom of my heart. xoxoxox

Guest Blog Where I Actually Admit I Was Wrong!

2013-03-09T21:56:00.002-08:00

Me!? Wrong?

I know right!? It is true! I admit I was wrong. I am so glad I did because

The first time I ever was invited to guest blog for FireFighterWife.com, I nearly peed my pants. I had dreams of being in a movie about blogging and fires, sort of like the movie Julie and Julia.

Anyway, it is one of my favorite blogs to do guest posts for. SO, will you pretty please, if you loved it, go over there and show them by commenting? If it spoke to you, consider sharing it too?

Thank you as always. You guys are the best and I love you all!!! Your support, kind words, love, and funny stories keeps me going. Some days I feel like there isn't anyone out there who knows what it is like. Then I open up an email to find soul sisters and men who are as awesome at encouraging as they are at being heroes. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! SO here it is, me bearing a little bit more of my soul,.. hoping it will help a relationship out there. While you are there, tell them I sent you!

Has there ever been anything you really had to own up to that was hard to do? Are you glad you did it? Did it turn out for the better?

Local Fire Fighter Plays Strongman In the New Oz Movie

2013-03-09T21:39:00.001-08:00

My super sexy, fire fighter husband and I met in high school, and started dating while we were both in acting in a play. He was an amazing. Even then he was the quiet guy, that came to life on stage, wowing all the girls, then being way too mysterious and cool to be into them. Ya. One of those James Dean types...Anyway, I have a huge thing for the theater, acting, plays, and anything to do with the stage. Since I was a child, I have felt like I belonged there. And I know he belongs there... Hmmm. Not sure how I missed being a famous actress, but who says I won't be, one day? That is why I love hearing stories like this!

When Livingston Parent Journal shared this with me I was so excited! Gotta love getting the inside scoop on a press release! Here is an inspiring story about a local Michigan fire fighter from Lansing, Tim Holmes, turned into hot new Hollywood actor! He stars in Michigan born, director Sam Raimi's Oz The Great and Powerful. I am a super huge fan of Sam Raimi's movie's, especially the cult classic Evil Dead (hilarious for one liners- one of my favs for sure!), so I'm excited to see it! Then, of course, I also adore The Wizard of Oz type movies. I haven't read the books, but I remember the crazy 80's sequel, (loved it) and I am interested in the back story. EEEE! I am so stinking excited!!! Sounds like a good Sunday afternoon date to me.

Now, that I know there is a fire fighter, from Michigan to top it off, I am even more pumped. Plus, I am sort of in love with James Franco, since the show Freaks and Geeks came on. I sort of relate... Have you seen the show Freaks and Geeks? If not, you must, so many awesome actors that became well known. I hope the same for Tim Holmes, who I found out, also starred in Real Steal! Loved that too.

Now, back to the much anticipated Oz the Great and Powerful. Tim Holmes sent in an audition that he made himself, of an on scene short film. If I met Tim Holmes in person, I think I would like him. All firefighters must have similar personalities, because I can just see mine doing something similar here. The Livingston Parent Journal interviewed Tim, and said, "When he uploaded it to his agency, they only agreed to submit this unconventional audition piece after much convincing. (from Tim) However, when Sam Raimi, the Michigan-born director, saw the piece, he requested letters from past productions Tim Holmes had worked on. they sent in on a Monday morning and Tim Holmes got the part that afternoon."

Oz the Great and Powerful opened this weekend, on March 8th. Let's go show our love of firefighters and sexy geeks everywhere! Popcorn and my hubby's arm sound like the perfect way to spend this afternoon. Follow the yellow... hose to the nearest theater and get you some Oz love too! Check out the whole interview Livingston Parent Journal with Tim Holmes here. They talk about how he researched the lives of actually carnival strong men, and what it took to shape his body up for the strongman role. Then there is also a Q and A about his parents, how they were a positive influence in his life, and how he felt about the movie. If you have questions for Tim Holmes, I think you can even join in the conversation there, so make sure you check it out! Tell them I sent you!

Donna's Day: A Chance To Help Kids With Cancer

2013-02-28T23:01:00.001-08:00

Today's topic is a little different from my normal posts. If you have been following me for a while you might remember a sweet little girl who touched my heart, and changed my life forever. Donna. Though sadly, I will never get to meet her. That sweet innocent girl, only a baby really, whom I think of often. Sometimes she will creep into my thoughts as I put my own little ones to sleep. As I sneak another look at their sleeping faces, her story and Donna's Mama wiggle right in. Reminding me to drink in the moments we have... You just never know who you could be helping by learning and sharing this information.

Too many children are lost to cancer. More adults get cancer, therefore children's cancer is one of the less funded types of cancer research. For example, from the National Cancer Institute, out of the money funded to researching cancer, only 4% is dedicated to children's. This subject deserves the utmost tenderness and respect, so I will try to be careful. I know it is uncomfortable to think about, but I beg you to read on. Cancer is such an ugly thing already, we especially don't like to look at it attached to children. I didn't even like writing it as the title. Kids and cancer. Yuck. A parent losing their child. Double Yuck. Double. Triple infinity suck. You can read why children's cancer research funds are so very underfunded here. If you are more the video type, here is an amazing one explaining why there is a need for funding.

My point is not to make you sad, or give you one more thing to worry about. Of all people, you know I am against spreading worry and fear. At the same time, I am completely for and believe we depend on truth. We have a responsibility to share any vital knowledge we may learn. No. Today is not for sadness. It is Donna's Day. Today is a day for choosing hope. Donna's story and her Mama continue to teach me things, about myself, about my loved ones, and even strangers with her bravery to share such an intimate story. If you would like to read her story at Huffington post you can find it here. This short video of pictures of Donna and a radio interview from her parents, shows how very important their message is. Her story has touched countless hearts, but that can only do so much. We have to take action.

Here is why:

*More US children will die from cancer than any other disease, or many other diseases combined:
*Before the age of 20, 1 in 300 boys, not mine, and 1 in 333 girls will be diagnosed with camcer
*Worldwide, child is diagnosed with cancer every three minutes:
*The cure rate for the most common form of pediatric cancer, ALL leukemia, is as high s 90%, but MOST other childhood cancers do not have that success rate, e.g., brain tumors have 50/50 cure rate, and some like DIPG, are known to be fatal with NO KNOWN TREATMENT OR CURE;
*73% of kids who survue their cancer will have chronic health problems as a result of their treatment and
42% will suffer sever or life threatening conditions like secondary cancers.
Those stats and more can be found here at St. Baldrick's website.

Now, we have all been there. In line at a grocery store, fast food place, or even when we see pink ribbons plastered on car bumpers, we get suckered into giving money to charities, particularly ones for cancer, without second guessing what those funds actually go to. It makes us feel like we are helping in some small way. Right? True. We just have no idea how very small it could be. Now hear me out, I am all for helping. But, what is most important to me, is that the money I give actually goes to cancer curing research. When I found out how LITTLE the percentage was from some places, I was absolutely shocked. Some are as little as 5%!!!

One of the many things I have learned from Donna's Good Things, (a foundation started by her parents to give dance scholarships in her name, plus so much more), is how awesome St. Baldrick's is. Their Foundation is a volunteer- driven charity that funds more in childhood cancer research and grants than anyone besides the US government. How they use it is even better. I like donating to where I know it is making the type of difference I can stand behind. Here are some stats that can be found here about why donating to St. Baldrick's is worth your while. As they say, "All childhood cancer research, all the time."

How Can I Help?

Join Donna's Good Things on Donna's Day! TODAY is a very special day dedicated to raising funds for Donna's Good Things head shaving event, March 30th in Chicago! It is a super awesome benefit, with people of all ages and backgrounds, shaving off their hair to help raise funds for St. Baldrick's. This year, the oldest shavee, so far, is 89 years old and is coming with her daughter, a returning shavee. Isn't that awesome! Way to go!

It is their second year holding this event, and I would really love to support them in any way we can. Here is the LINK to Donna's Good Things SHAVING TEAM if you feel it in your heart to give. Just click on the GREEN button. Even if it is only 5 or 10 dollars, those are the donations that can really add up. If we can share this and really get the word out, imagine how much we could help them raise! Last year's goal was $20K, and they blew it out if the water with $79K!!! Amazing what one little girl's story can inspire people to rally behind.

Let's do all we can, share this everywhere. We can send virtual hugs with what counts, our prayers, and our pockets. I encourage you, like never before, to give, even if it is only one dollar, 3, 5, or 7! Every little bit helps and shows you care.
As big as I wish this blog was, we are only a few. Our circle is only so big. The only way to expand it is with YOU, my friends. Normally, I don't grovel, BUT, with cherries on top, could you please, from the bottom of my heart, float on down to the share button, just under this post, and click on it. Click it and invite your friends to give a few bucks to kids who need cures. Sharing means caring. Who remembers that saying?!

As usual, you guys rock. Thank you in advance for all you do for this community. Love all you hotties out there. PS SHARE!!

Can You Be A Mom and Still be Sexy?!

2013-02-10T18:55:00.001-08:00

It was sort of shocking, like this.
Ya, know the Venus Di Milo.

As I am typing this, my stomach is in a knot, I really can't believe I am gonna share this. Yet, I haven't slept in days, since I started to feel the need to. If this helps even just one woman be inspired, one to be more brave, one marriage become closer, it will be worth it. I am going to share a highly offensive picture with you, of my son and I. (This is called sarcasm.) This may seem like no big deal to you, but the feed back I got either filled my bucket or left me in in completely shock.

A Hot Christian Mom?

OK. To be fair to was my
back. Maybe that is more
offensive?

When I took this picture of myself and my son, I felt beautiful. I felt like a woman. I felt sort of hot! Imagining the black and white skin on skin portrait of mother and son, in a natural dreamy light, just felt super natural, loving, yet empowering. Honestly I couldn't wait to show my husband, and every good friend I had. You see, I am experimenting in photography. Motherhood tends to inspire the creative side of me. So far, it has taken shape in paintings, cake, blogging, and now photography. Just as my love and awe for God, art finds its' way into all the areas of my life. Into my parenting styles, what I eat, my creativity, and yes even my bedroom. I am not a file cabinet. All organized, alphabetical, separate little sections of me. None allowed to cross over into the other. Each in it's place. No. I can not separate motherhood, from being Christian, from being a loyal, loving wife, let alone the role model of a woman should be for my sons. Maybe that is why some found my image shocking.

Plus, I did the unthinkable, and shared it in a super secret private group on Facebook. Mind you, I already shared on my photography page, so I wasn't worried about people sharing it or downloading it. Despite that, it still stirred up a big discussion. Normally, these sort of things roll right off my back. Awkward as it is, and as much as I really don't feel like doing it, seems this has been added to my ministry now. Since I can't stop thinking about it, it must be important!

Why Should I Care?

How bout the Birth Of Venus. Surely it had to do with it having
a baby in the picture with me? Being a Mom while also looking
smoking hot is strictly not allowed. Don't you dare embrace your MILfness!

When I had my first son, I struggled with being modest, and nursing. My mother nursed all 3 of her children, but I didn't really remember. Actually, I don't remember ever seeing another woman nurse a baby. My friends that had babies, choose to do formula. For some reason, I just felt extremely uncomfortable while doing it. Even while alone, I had to be covered up, and in a separate room with the door closed. I felt like a pervert. Even though I enjoyed it, I felt creepy. That meant a lot of hiding out, feeling like a milked cow pent up in a closet, ashamed and hidden. I only lasted about 6 weeks, nearly breaking my heart. Then with my second son who came 18 months later, during the year my husband decided to join the fire academy. Needless to say, with that high stress, I only lasted about 4 weeks with him, only adding to my postpartum.

It's because of the baby right?
This image has to be repulsive!

During that time, I even had an extremely hard time being intimate with my husband. I felt like my breasts were for baby. I could not switch over to now they are for my husband. When, what I should have been saying was they were for me! We are beautiful, no matter what size or shape we are. God made us a masterpiece. Being a woman means managing so many layers. As creatures of endurance, we tend to shut down the one's we feel are not so important. For example, putting ourselves first. Maybe, if I were surrounded by more women who were confident sexually along with all the other things a woman is supposed to be, I would have not felt the need to hide, for fear of some perv getting off on my breastfeeding. Or feeling so uncomfortable I'd rather stand in a bathroom stall then nurse at a restaurant table? I should have felt empowered, beautiful, free, instead of a late night actress, if ya know what I mean.

If that was your wife or daughter, would that be OK with you?

Maybe if we were surrounded by women like the ones in these pictures, we would all feel more confident in these situations. If we embrace images of women being comfortable in their skin, size, faith, and, general womanhood, it could be just what the next generation of Mommies need. Pictures, blogs, articles about being a strong, hot, mama, wife, and just pure lady. As a society, we need to encourage tasteful, classy, views of women in all her layers.

It must be gross because the picture
shows both of our skin.
Like here in Gustaf Klimt's painting.

Being an artist all my life, I have paintings and compositions in my head to create, some floating around since my first was born 7 years ago. To be fair, I didn't set out to take that picture with my son. I was sneaking, 10 second timed boudoir shots, while the kids were outside with their Dad in the snow. (A surprise for Valentine's Day, where I actually show less skin than here! Way, way less. You see, I guess I will do more for art. Ha Ha Ha!) When the baby woke up in a great mood, I remembered a photo I had been wanting to do. My room was all set to go, no one was around, the clouds parted, a beam came down from heaven, and I got the shots.

Perhaps it is because supposedly, it was not art. Understandably it is hard to find beauty or art in something that isn't painted, or sculpted.

Therefor, these that I found from Beautiful Breastfeeding: 25 Stunning Photos From Around The World, would not qualify either.

Compared to these, my shot blushes. These amazing, gorgeous,

graceful women, showing the strength, beauty, and just the

plain fierceness it takes to bear, nurture, and protect our young.

To me, that is the most motherly, sensual thing you could do.

To embrace all the things these pictures show.

Maybe it is because in my quickness, you can see my garter belt?

Because, ya know, babies come from storks.

Or is it because of my tattoo?

I bet I know. It is because I am Christian.

Man, I just love this one with the machete.

Because weapons, babies,

and nursing, definitely do NOT

belong in the same picture!

To be fair, I understand it is probably illegal to hunt naked while

nursing, because I don't live

in a tribe in Africa.

The fact that I had the baby and looked smoking hot, made people feel uncomfortable. It turned people away. My heart was sad for those that couldn't see the beauty in it. It made me feel beautiful, and hoped others would be inspired to do the same. Yes, I was thrown off guard when people viewed it as dirty. Motherhood is not dirty. Making love to your husband is not dirty. Maybe the fact I am openly a Christian threw them off. Or that I potentially shared it with the world, a "dirty" picture of me and my baby. Absurd!

Don't get me wrong. I don't feel you should flaunt your boobies for the world to see. As much as I see the human body as beautiful and artistic, it is equally important to hold yourself as a prize. To be a lady and know what you are worth. On the flip side I never want to add to the temptation of someone to cheat. Keepin' it classy, ya know.

Will my Christian friends shun me?

My quest was clear. My nerve was not. Then I thought to myself, "Why would I even think that?' Just because I believe in God, I can't be sexy, and be a Mom? Once you pop that sucker out, I guess you gotta bundle up, hunker down, and turn in your panties for granny's? Does the Bible even say anything that even sounds sexy? Isn't it just a bunch of stories and rules? Well, here are a few verses from the Song of Solomon.

1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth- for thy love is better than wine. 2:3 Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and they mouth is comely; they temples are like a pomegranate split open behind thy vei. 4 Thy neck is like the tower of David builded with turrets, whereon there hang a thousand shields, all the armour of the mighty men. 5 Thy two breasts are like two fawns that are twins of a gazelle, which feed among the lilies."

Not doing it for ya? Those are more like a love poem. How about his one? Tell me this isn't a little hot?

"Delight in Jerusalem! Drink deeply of her glory even as an infant drinks at its mother's breasts." Isiah 66:11

The Bible embraces the beauty of motherhood. It recognizes the importance, and quite romantically describes the love making between a husband and wife. It even uses it as analogy for how deeply God/Jesus loves His people/church. Get this. A sexual analogy for the love of His people. Yes indeed, I think God wants us to embrace our relationship, every bit, and be confident and proud of it. Not hide in a closet. To embrace all of what it means to be a woman, in my opinion, is not frowned upon anywhere. To have a successful marriage, you need to have a healthy relationship in the bedroom, as well as all the other rooms in the house. Why should I hide this from my children? I want them to choose confident woman in their lives too. Someone who will proudly nurse her children, knowing how much life she is providing, and to have them be fully supportive of it. So I am mustering up the courage to share this picture with you. In hopes that the beauty I see in it, finds you. That there is a girl out there that needs to feel more comfortable in her skin. There is a Mom out there, who needs to feel attractive, that I can reach. That possibly, it could help a woman feel free enough to go out with her family, because she can nurse in public. Even better yet, feeling beautiful, like hot mama, while doing it. A dream come true, would be to have people stand and applaud her.

Drum Roll Please!!

If you have made it this far, you deserve to see this highly controversial photograph. The moment you have all been waiting for!!!

I know! It is very shocking!

Suddenly I am feeling pretty empowered. So I am gonna share one even more shocking.

After all this, empowering the woman, I hope I haven't lost too many of you. Instead, I hope that you in turn stop judging and start encouraging each other. To be you. To be the many layers of you. Keep your standards high but embrace the nature of what it is to be a woman. Enjoy your curves, but enjoy the mystery.

My friends, I hope you feel moved to comment or share. Kiss your babies! Love your men! Love each other! Are you still there?!!

OK. One more!!!

2013-01-28T11:51:00.000-08:00

Really, this is the last one! As you can see, who could resist!?

Have a great day!!

Love Is In The Air

2013-01-28T11:30:00.001-08:00

Recently, I started dabbling in photography. Let me say, I am in love with this heart brokeh effect! It comes with PicMonkey, this free photo editing thingy I found. It is so fun!! Side note, I am not being paid to promote that site, I just thought you might love it too!!!

Here is my favorite picture I have made so far.

Have fun all you hotties making your own pics! Maybe a special boudior picture would be cute for Valentine's Day. Have fun!

It's The Small Things

2012-12-31T05:00:00.000-08:00

Choosing Life

With death, life, tragedy, hope and heroes every where, life can teach you a lesson anywhere, anytime. The good ones are when you thought you had it figured out just to find you have only been chasing your tail the whole time. My husband has an unlikely friend. An older man, that we will call Arthur. Just like the King. My hubby runs a landscaping type business in the summer. Arthur was a customer he was just clicked with. He was a thinker. He was in World War II. Plus, he owned a beautiful piece of land that always seemed to have deer running across. I am sure that helped! One day, my hopeful hubby asked if he could hunt there. To his surprise, Arthur had been wanting to thin the deer and turkey out, because they ruined his wife's flowers and farmland. His wife was all up for it. She even said seeing my hubby and his brother go out into the woods, reminded her of her brothers going out.

Sadly, and as life does happen, his wife died suddenly last year. It was sort of like that scene on Up. I won't even go there, but if you have seen the movie you know what I am talking about. I cry through the whole movie every time I watch it! Anyway, as you can imagine, it is so hard on Arthur. Thankfully my man goes over there all he time for hunting, and checks on him. Today they were talking, as they often do, about his wife. My husband has the kindest and biggest heart to sit by this poor guy crying, not knowing what to do or say, but still he stays. He talks. He listens. What they talked about today, I thought was very worth sharing. It deserves it's place in light of with recent events around the country, and following yesterday's post.

Tiny Regrets
Looking back, Arthur, only regrets very small parts of his life. They are not small as in insignificant, or else he wouldn't sob over them now. They are small things, that he thought mattered, that didn't. Or rather small things that mattered and he didn't think they did.. With tears coming down his face, it was the money he didn't want to spend on the paint for the walls. She wanted to change the color of the kitchen walls. He said, I don't care about what color the walls are. It was twenty bucks. I told her just wash them. In truth, he just never felt it was important and didn't want to spend the money. They kept track of the weather. The monitor was too tall for her, and she asked him all the time to lower it. He said he never thought about how it affected her. I never thought about her, he sadly said. It would have made her known she was important to him. Now, you and I both know, that that isn't true, and we don't even know the man. Yet these are the things he regrets not doing for his wife.

Thankfully the hubs was there to tell him she knew she was important. That of course, she wasn't thinking about those things now. That she loves him... Oh, how proud I am of my husband.

What I saw hit my him the hardest, was that here was a man he had grown to look up to, who on the outside appeared to have all the things he wanted out of life. A gorgeous house with hunting area, a successful business, a happy marriage, a kid who loved him, no big debts... Who now, is sitting across from him, telling him the answer to the big questions do not have answers. Which is what my husband has been going through himself. Trying to figure out what he is supposed to do, where to spend his time, and ultimately what he invests his himself into. He has been doing a ton of soul searching and time alone to thinking in the woods. He was realizing the answers he had been searching so hard for, were not there. Nor would they ever be. For there was the proof, sitting right in front of him. This now broken man, pouring his heart out, with these tiny regrets. What was Arthur trying to tell him?! What he is left with is the walls he wishes he had painted. Beyond that he almost wished they were poor. That if he could have chosen to be poor, but at the same time had enough for bills, and their needs met, he would have done that in a heart beat. The big house, lots of land, the hobbies that took up all his time, were not important now. He told about saying no so many times, to his wife, or his kids, that he found himself thinking, "Why did I just say no? I don't really care if they do that. He got into a mode of doing instead of living and thinking about what you are doing in it. He felt selfish, wishing he would have thought more about his family and how they felt. All of this is completely normal in the grieving process, obviously, and just as heart breakingly. (I just made that word up!) I don't even wanna think about what it would be like of my hubby goes before me. Even though I don't have to worry about it. Like I told him, we are gonna die at the exact same moment, in our sleep, at 99 and a half. We all do things we are not proud of, that we regret, or wish we could take back more than anything in the world. Let's all make a promise to cut this list way down, by slowing down, and taking a little more time do to love those close to us.

Why slow down?

Blowing bubbles. Making fun out of a mistake!

Our time is limited. Tragedy comes in all sizes, and on any day. Constantly I am praying for protection over my family and loved ones, but I am not going to take them for granted anymore. I could not say it better than my very good friend did in her post here at FireHouse's blog. A lieutenant on her hubby's department, woke up a just days before Christmas, sadly to find their 2 year old son did not. Young or old, none of us are promised tomorrow. My heart breaks when I think about this. He even shared my son's first name. It hit me really hard, especially after being so upset with the shooting in CT. As many of us, my boys are the same age as many that were lost that day. Our time together can be so very short here on Earth. My blogger friend and fellow fire wife, Cindy wrote, "Even though most of you reading this don't know Cade and don't know our fire family, spend a moment honoring him too. Wrap your own family in your arms and make sure they know exactly how loved they are. In Cade's Dad's own words, "It is the little, everyday things, like reading a book to him or cuddling up to watch a movie together, " that you will miss the most. These everyday things are too easily taken for granted. So when you say good night tonight, don't shout it across the house. Draw your kids in close and breathe your love into their hair as you kiss them and squeeze them tight."

It's the small things they will remember.

Slow down
So, do just that. Breathe in your life. Lean in extra close, every day, and breathe it in. That sweaty, sweet hair smell. That burnt fire smell. The sugar cookie smells. The burnt macaroni and cheese smells. Even the, "my brother is poking me in the eye for the hundredth time again" smell. Hahaa, or the "I can tell he wants to do it, and I am so tired my eyes are gonna fall out" smell. If you pictured waking up the next day and they don't happen to, would you have wished for that moment back? Would you wish for the minute it took to hug your kids or read them a book. or make love to your spouse. Now don't make yourselves crazy. Take time to rest and reboot, or you won't have the patience, nor the energy to keep those tears back when the milk eventually spills. Get sleep and eat well. Have balance, but use your emotions, fear, or worry, and turn it into a tool to bless your family.
Breathe them in. Slow down when you can. Love and laugh every day. I hate leaving you on a sort of sad note. So I am gonna do what i do for my boys when they are battling bad thoughts before bed. Think of something funny. Like my baby peeing on me from four feet away! Thankfully he was in the bath tub and I had towels on the floor! I screamed like a little girl. My 7 and 5 year old thought it was hysterical.

With that, take care all of you Hotties out there. Is that a good nickname for you guys? I think y'all need one. Love to everyone. God Bless!

Why Do Bad Things Happen?

2012-12-29T22:30:00.001-08:00

As many questions as there are colors in this world.

In the past month our country, especially our first responders, have experienced so much tragedy. The CT elementary school shooting, the firefighters being shot and killed in several states, and hitting even closer to home, a two year old child does not wake up days before Christmas, one whom shares my son's name. Then, an older man befriended by my husband, lost his wife, out of no where, and today ponders all the little things he would do different. It seems every where you go, you can hear the questions of heart ache, "Why?" Or, "How could God let this happen?" Or even, "Who else could stopped this?!" The worst yet, "Why didn't He?" They are the toughest questions a person thinks about. I just do not think God works that way, all the time. I think though, He has a plan to free us. He has a plan. A plan... "Well what kind of plan is this? How could it be His plan..."

Our paths are not always easy to see.

Photos courtesy of Spinning Webs Photography.

Tough Questions of Life
Well first I will address that last question. I think that is the toughest of all to wrap our brains round. My answer is God didn't do that. It is NOT his plan. We did it. Well, they did. All of our decisions, what we allow into our lives. For God, death was not even in the plan for us. It is the very things we compromised on. Who we listen to. The things we let poison our bodies, possibly even the chemicals in our foods. Of course, when I say we, I mean we as a general society and the effects that our leaders make have on us all. Then, there is the other side of the problem. That there is evil out there. In my heart I know that God is doing all he can to stop it. That we are fighting it daily. Tooth and nail, some of us. People have free will and not God, nor us, will stop a person from choosing evil. Both of us ache, cry, and are hurt beyond hurt by this. In my opinion, God hurts even more, since He is the one who created us. Molded us. Thought about each hair on our head. Our eyes, our toes, our hearts. He has hopes and dreams for us too.

A Warrior's Battle
As fire fighter wives, we can be bombarded with worry and fear. We can find the why's coming out of our mouths everyday if we let it. We must guard our hearts by what we let in. What we watch, read, and put our energy into, can make all the difference. Here is a post I wrote called, "Fear Is The Mind Killer" to help with being frozen or living in fear.

At times, you have to keep your distance, or not attach your heart so much into the sad stories. I know it may sound awful and unfeeling, but we are still in the living. We must go on. Just like the dwarfs in The Hobbit, you can not just live in the wastelands, sleeping in caves, with no light, on the hard cold floor, waiting for the floor to give out right from under you. You must fight for the peace. To be a home, welcoming, whole and warm. Then there are times when you must carry each other through, like Sam Wise carrying Frodo out of the burning mountain. He couldn't carry the burden for him, but he could sure carry Frodo.

Choosing to Look For Good
You see, there are no real answers. Life happens. Bad things happen. Yet more often, good things happen too. People are reliable, trustworthy, loyal. Call me naive. Call me a silly girl. Call it Hope. I don't care. I expect it to be that way and I look for ways it is that way.

After all, it is what we do with the pieces we are left behind with, no matter how crumbled they are in our hands. It may take us a while, to mourn, to get through the storm. It is Who and What you lean on, what your foundation is built on, that will determine if your building will fall and tumble. What makes me sick is those who choose this time of heart ache to spread fear and doubt with these Why's. It is human nature to question, to doubt, to figure things out. so we naturally seek out answers to our hard questions during times like these. It is also when we are most vulnerable. Those who are hurt, or lost, can be easily swayed into unbelief, out of extreme anger, hurt, or dissappoinment. though who are you to take that from someone. To instill doubt and fear. Using the fact that bad things happen to innocent people that God does not exist is so very sad to me. If anything it should give you proof that EVIL does exist. and that now, more than ever we need God to move in our lives, not shun Him away, deny him, and speak badly of Him.

Let me ask you a question. I hold on to a message of hope. I pass on to my children a message of Hope and Light. What do you pass on? What do you cling to? If someone picks up what I am laying down, and I am right, their eternity and family's will be for the better. Amazingly better. If I am wrong, none of us will even know it. Yet, if I am right, and instead people pick up doubt, fear, and the unbelief some of us are laying down, it only steals, and takes away from people. In a major, major way. What right do you have to convince someone, of such a thing? What if you are wrong. None if us can say or prove what we know is true either way. So how can you be so arrogant to think you know something that is hidden from our knowledge. That we are not supposed to know for sure. That is why it is called faith.

Anyway! My point was we do not have to live in worry or fear. We are not suppose to. It isn't meant to be for us to carry. He can worry for us. Worrying is pointless. It gets you no where. We are supposed to have faith, do what we know is right, and love one another. That is all.

All I am asking is that you keep it to yourself. Do not spread worry and fear. If you choose to believe differently, that is fine. Just if it would take away from someone if you are wrong, than keep your mouth shut. If you are sharing your views in a positive light, with all the facts, and an open heart, I think you will find... I am right!!! HA HA! Just kidding. Only serious. ;)

Thanks for not judging me you Hotties! Tomorrow I will share a very touching story you are not going to want to miss. Make sure you sign up for the email notifications on the side of our page, if you haven't yet! More looking at life, and what someone wishes they could have done differently with their's in the next post!

The sun will shine in the morning.

Take Some Time
No one is promised a tomorrow. What did you put extra love into today?

I read a bedtime story extra slow, then scratched my kids' backs to help them fall asleep. They used to love it when they were tiny. Well guess, what? They still do. Hugs, laughter, and love to all.

Bamboozled and A Baby

2012-11-05T16:22:00.000-08:00

Ones of the most frustrating things for me about being a fire fighter's wife, is that I feel like I was bamboozled. When I am at my most weakest, most selfish, terribly tired points, the thought runs through my head, "I did not sign up for this!" That seed of a thought starts a huge negative downward spiral of destructive thinking. Otherwise known to most as a temper tantrum. This often finds me at about 5 or 6 am, when the baby starts to cry for the twentieth time that night.

Fighting Negative Thoughts and Postpartum

You see, I am not morning person. At all. Since I can remember, it has been my enemy. I resent waking up early. Shamefully, grumbling to myself about how I am the only one who can do anything it. Ironically, exactly like with my second boy, my hubs has up and ruptured two of his discs. Last time, he was unable to even pick up the baby for nearly six months. Now, five years later, the poor guy has done the exact thing again, right after our newest baby has been born. It is as if I am stuck in some awful loop. Doomed to repeat this seemingly exact set of circumstances, that nearly destroyed us and me, the last time. I wanna scream out, “Is this a test?! What did I NOT learn last time? Come on!”

As if that wasn't enough, at the same time, he also decided to open a business, have a miraculous recovery of his back, and decide to join the fire department. Oh, wait, and we lost our first home, having to move into the house directly next door to my in laws. At the time, it was a very hard pill to swallow.

Feeling Single

Thankfully, we made it through that most difficult year. Still during my most frustrating moments, it is that thought I have to fight. The fact that I did not sign up to be a single parent drives me bonkers. Part of me, gets so angry when I feel alone and single. Even more annoying, at the exact same time, I get to feel the opposite of single and worrying all day long about my hubby. Then the next thing you know, I am digging the single life, and comes home just long enough to mess up my mojo! Can anyone relate?! Only kidding! Well, sort of.

A Heads Up Would Have Been Nice

My goal here is to help other wives out there avoid this fight all together. Joyce Meyers calls it the Battlefield For Your Mind. I call it brain ping pong. Whatever you call it, isn't worth our time and focus. In my house, I have so much to think about, I would rather this thought never plague me in the first place, ya know?

Call it my good deed, my paying it forward, my rant at the world. Whatever. When your man asks to be a fire fighter, and you have kids, you will know what you are getting into. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my husband’s career for a second. He absolutely loves it. He comes alive there. Honestly, tell me really, what else was he meant to do? He giggles when there is a fire. Our kids love that he is a fireman. They are so proud of their Daddy. Their faces beam when he comes to teach about fire safety at their school. Me? Seriously, could care less what he does, as long as he is happy. If he made yogurt, I’d follow him. That is what being married is all about! Happily, instead I look at him and I get to see the greatness he was meant to be.

Counting my Blessings

For when my tiredness has taken over my sanity and I have had enough three year old tantrums coming out of my mouth, it helps having a list of things to break me out of it. Most of the time it helps a lot. Of course there are times when the one hour of sleep will be the only be cure, but I that is another matter. I think of the military wives whom husbands are away for months at a time. I think of the friend who’s husband is in Iraq, and hasn’t even met their seven month old daughter. Yes the image of a Dad all cuddled up, giving his tired wife a break in the middle of the night, sharing the responsibilities, creating a bond over the pain of raising a baby, may never happen. Because I refuse to wake the poor guy who may have to go on a call or has been on a call all night. In reality, I would not be getting a break and more sleep anyways. I would be laying there listening, cause I know I would be done already, and it’d be done better. Oh, just give me that baby already! Darn it! Whew, sorry! So, I tried it once with my first born. Haha haha.

A Volunteer Army

Being part of an on call paid department has it perks too. I love the sort of freedom that comes with him sleeping at home verses a fire station, though some days that means less sleep for me, I am sure. He has more the option of going or not. Even though that has changed since he has become an officer. Also, you might guess, it is hard to find a flexible job that understands all the time he will miss. This has sort of forced us to own a business to make ends meet. Can I get an Amen for no bosses?!

When I married, I promised him I would follow him, where ever he might go. And go he has. Go. Go. GO. It is almost funny now, when he has to leave, rearrange, cancel countless plans, or miss an important event. Sure that is frustrating but think about what he is doing while gone. Saving. Helping. Hero-ing.

So when your panties are in a bunch and feeling single, and not signed up for, think of me. Count your blessings and hug your family. If that isn’t enough, picture this. No one is promised a tomorrow. Is there a world you would regret how you are acting and feeling right now. Is there something you would do different about this moment if tomorrow wasn’t coming for him? I know I try not to let there be.

Tell me ladies, is there something you think of to get yourself out of a pity party?

Does any one else feel like they were bamboozled?

All My Wildest Dreams Have Come True!

2012-10-20T09:12:00.001-07:00

In my best spanish accent,

all my wildest dreams are coming true!

Take your fingers and float on over to FireFighterWife.com and check out a very special story I shared there called Not Your Average Fairy Tale Ending. Please show your love and the ladies there how much you love this blog. If it has ever encouraged, made you giggle, or made you say wow, leave a comment! Have a great weekend!!

Woo Hoo! Guest Blog on FireFighterwife.com

2012-10-19T10:08:00.000-07:00

Being a parent to three youngins, makes me wonder how my parents ever did it. What my poor Mom must have gone through with us! It definitively makes me love her even more!

Thanks Mom For All Those Annoying Sayings

It isn't actually his curl on his forehead but...

When I was young, I must have been a stubborn little girl. "Once there was a little girl. Who had a little curl." You know that old nursery rhyme. "When she was good, she was awfully good. But when she was bad....", the rhyme ending in my mother attacking my sides with tickles. "She was awfully bad!" squealed my Mom. A genius, she probably reverted to this, instead of yelling at me for emptying my newly put away clothes drawers for the hundredth time. Sorry Mom!! Bless her heart, she would say all kinds of sayings, to teach us really big lessons in life. Not fully understanding the big words, my thought process would get stuck on the meaning of one. For example, I would focus on what the words together, awfully good, meant. How can you be awful and good? The moral of the lesson completely flying over my head! My beautiful mother was trying to teach us to not build walls, block love or help.

In fact, she said so many of these little rhymes I thought I already had a pretty good entry about these Mom-isms, in an older post here. Yet love finds a way, sometimes in the very unexpected ones.

I peed!

When I was asked to guest blog at Firefighterwife.com, I nearly peed my pants. Yes, I know I just had a baby you smarty, but that has nothing to do with it! I swear!

Just over two years ago my husband became an OJT officer at his department. He asked me to come to one of their first meetings, when the new recruits would bring their families in to ask questions they might have. He wanted a wife there to share some of the reality of it. The new approach when training, would be to first make sure the family is on board and on the same page. Afterwards, I was overwhelmed with an urge to help these familes out. To warn them about what was in store. To give them tools, and a shield to help. The way no one really did with us. Their were only a couple places that I could I could turn to. One was firefighterwife.com. I bet you can imagine how excited I am then, to guest blog there. They were such a huge help back then. (Thank you Val!)

My Why
If you haven't already, you must go over to their Facebook page and join their private group. Lori at FFW.com, has done an amazing job bringing ladies from all over the world in a private group. Trust me, you have to join! There is such a comfort in knowing that others are going through, sometimes in a super weird way, through the exact same thing you are! There are just somethings that can not be said, that are too funny, or too important not to say.

I Felt Alone
See, since we began our journey, I have felt firefighter wives needed something like military wives. My hubby also grew up on some twenty odd bases through out the world. Hearing stories from his Mom about how all the wives would get together, or to plain be there for each other, really left me hurting. I tried to get the wives together at our department, but it seemed everyone was just too busy. There was just nothing there for us but to sit at home and worry. Maybe it is because our town is so small, or if it because of all the politics, but the wives just do not get together except once a year for Christmas dinner. I talk to a few now, but only one that I am close to. At the same time, she is still very married to my husband's boss. So, ya have to be careful. I love her, but you never know when something will tip a boat over. Even if unintentional.

Despite that, what IS wonderful about fire life, even if you aren't close, they will be there if something goes wrong. All the same, we need so much more than that, don't we?

For now, this is my "wife" thing to do. My "Love" finding it's way. Amazingly, Lori has the same vision I do. To help fire families all over the world.

Soon she will be checking out making local lady chapters of support.

Peaceful, isn't it? Smoke on the water... Just for you to enjoy,. A little eye candy.

What do you think? Who would you be interested? Do you feel a need for a fire wife face to face group?

Don't forget to check out FireFighterWife.com tomorrow for my guest blog!!!
Love to you all!! Lyn, aka CG, aka CakeGirl, aka My Name Is Not Mom

A Letter To My Future Teenager

2012-09-23T21:11:00.002-07:00

This letter has been rolling around in my head lately. Whenever it gets quiet and I can think, it is there. Maybe it has been reading about poor Donna and her strong Mama. Maybe I have been wanting to write this because of my two oldest boys going to school this year. I suppose it could be the attitude that I am getting lately from them, growing into their own personalities, getting more and more independent. Probably has a tiny thing to do with how fast my new born has turned into a four month old tossing turning real life baby. Or the fact that I am constantly remembering when they older two where doing what this one is. Making me sort of sad and long for them to be little again. When I could do no wrong. Ugh! I love those little son of a guns so much!

So hopefully one day, they won't roll their eyes too much at this. I wrote this more towards my newest baby, but it certainly applies to all of my men. My dream is that this will one day bring understanding and perspective to something I have probably done. That they will forgive me. That they will understand. Maybe even prevent some trouble. Although I wrote it for my sons, I know that every Mom feels this way about their own children. Maybe there is a teenager out there that this will speak to, softening their hearts as well. Helping to let a wall down and to let forgiveness, understanding, and love in. Please feel free to share on your Face Book Page, email it to a friend, or whatever social media you are addicted to. You never know what could happen. Thanks in advance!

My Dearest Love,

Today I held you all day. You hung on my shoulder and drooled till it was soaking wet. I think you are teething but I really have no idea because you are so little. Not quite four months old. You are hot to hold since you have a slight fever, making me breaking out in hives that are so itchy, I can't help but scratch till I bleed. Your nose is so runny it is breaking my heart since you can barely breathe. You look at me with such a pout face, I nearly cry looking at those red puffy eyes. You keep rubbing them because you are so tired but you can't sleep since your nose is plugged. When you lay down it sounds like a mix of a bear and when my Gramps used to snore sitting in his lazy chair. I keep having to suck the boogers out with this sucker thing, which makes you cry, ever creating this circle of boogers. I feel like I am torturing you. I have cried 100 times today trying this and that to comfort you- anything I can think of. Your poor brothers have been covering their ears because they can't take it. There are moments I just sit and rock you, while I let both our tears fall. You also stopped nursing three days ago, which makes me feel like I failed, and now you are possibly sick and need the antibodies amd immune boosters to help you get better. Especially, since there really isn't any medicine you can give a baby. Thankfully and finally you fell asleep. I thought to myself how deeply I love you.

Your two older brothers are five years old and almost seven. they used to be so little so short ago. Time flies when you love. I love all of you so much. I started thinking how I never want you to hate me. That I hope our relationship is always good. Even more so I want you to love yourself as much as I love you. Simply because I have invested so much into you, even now at this young age. More complicatedly, because you are so amazing. Never forget how much I, your Daddy, and your brothers wanted and love you. So I thought maybe if I write you a letter, letting you know that I really am not a crazy person. Though you might think so by the time you are a teenager.

I ask your oldest brother if he will ever hate me, when he is a teenager, and he says, with a loving twinkle in his eye, embarrassed and looks away, "No way Mu Ma! You are the best Mom ever. I will always love you. I never wanna be a teenager." (Me neither. Only kidding! Sorta.) Then the next thing you know, I am saying it's bedtime, and then how quickly I am turned into the worst mom ever. The fact I can already see this love hate thing going on, makes me pray you guys only hate me a little. And only for a short time. I figure you will, at least a little, if I do a good job of being a mom. You are gonna want to be free just like I did.
You are suppose to. Just promise me you will, only a little. That you will remember I just want to keep you safe, and help you avoid the most costly mistakes I have made.

You can go off on your own. Make your own. That is my goal. For you to be happy, healthy, and have a life full of love and fun. I just pray you would honor me to be a part of it as you grow up. I promise that I am not going to snoop through your things, unless you are going to hurt your self if I don't. That I will be fair and will listen if you think I am not. Not promising I will change my view but I will hear you out. I hope you never have a reason to hide anything from me. Any of my boys. It is hard to look at your faces now and imagine that we could ever fight. That my past has allowed me a special vantage point that I will be willing to be completely honest about, so much so that I am putting it out there for all to learn from. That I will always love you and will never judge you, no matter what. That no one is perfect, including me. I have messed up plenty and have no right to. I am a very forgiving and forgiven person. I will never hold anything against you. That you can tell me anything- I am a really good listener. And if you want to hear what happened to me, I will tell you anything you wanna know.

I have had a crazy life. Let's just say, it would make a great movie. There is much that I am proud of and some that I am not. Paths I would change and some would not. There are many bullets I have dodged in my lifetime, that many others friends and loved ones were hit with. Not sure how I got so lucky to not only survive but feel thankful to succeed... Maybe it was so I could bring each of you into this world. Most of the dodges were luck, or protection rather, this I truly believe. There is a purpose to all things. So I suppose I wouldn't change it after all, since they have made me who I am. But that, my sons is for another time. Just know I love you, I put my heart and soul into you. I would do anything for you. Even stand in front of a spinning Bey Blade.
God Bless and Protect Your Lives My Loves,
XOXOXOXOXOXO,
Love Always,
Your Mommy

Don't forget to share! Is there anything you would add to a letter to your future teen?