{walker whimsy}

From a mother to her son

2012-03-08T09:09:00.000-08:00

Dear T Dubbs,

1. Please stop using your head as a battering ram.

2. Please stop trying to pee in my mouth when I change your diaper. Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT the baby version of skee ball.

3. Please stop doing alligator death rolls when I try to get you dressed. I would totally let you be a nudist, but that is not socially acceptable.

4. Please stop pulling daddy's armpit hair in the middle of the night (even though it's hilarious ... )

5. Please stop trying to meet all your nutritional needs with dog food.

6. Please stop getting stuck under the table/chair/baby gate. Babies do not have four-wheel drive and reverse only works occasionally.

7. Please stop trying to eat those toilet bolt cover doo-dads. Despite daily bleaching, I'm pretty sure they're not sanitary.

8. Please stop trying to escape from your walker. I don't like coming around the corner to see you dangling perilously by one foot.

9. Please stop stealing the TV remote and hiding it under the bed.

10. Please don't grow up too fast, even if it means you have to keep doing all these weird baby things.

I love you, little baby munchkin :-)

What do you mean, "Crayons are not for eating"? They taste pretty good to me.

30 Day Photo Challenge ~ Day 12

2012-03-07T07:41:00.001-08:00

Day 12 ~ Hands

T Dubbs "helping" with the love letters

DIY Love Letters

2012-03-06T17:07:00.003-08:00

Hey peeps,

Just dropping in today with a quick tute for scrapbook paper letters. They are incredibly versatile as you can choose any paper and any letter combinations!

I can spell "Love", "Vole" or even "Ole". Pretty epic, no? I bet you've always wanted to honor your favorite blind rodent or Ricky Martin with giant letters.

Make yourself a whole alphabet if you want to!

You will need:

Mod Podge OR the cheap version - a mixture of equal parts white glue and water
A paintbrush (you can also use your tongue if you like the taste of school glue ... KIDDING.)
Cardboard
Scrapbook paper
Pencil for sketching your letters
Utility knife

All you do is:

Glue/decoupage your scrapbook paper to the cardboard. Let dry completely. Sketch your letters. Cut them out.

Hang them up. (I used yarn. Those classier than I may use ribbon or other string-like substances ... )

Ole, ole, ole!

Because I'm Actually Irish

2012-03-02T06:04:00.003-08:00

I love March for three reasons - my birthday, the beginning of spring (which means nothing in CO, but still), and Saint Patrick's Day. I'm assuming no one wants a (really long) list of all the things I desire for the anniversary of my birth, so instead I offer some kick ants St. Patty's Day crochet patterns and a couple o' Irish proverbs:

"May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live."

"Don't break your shins on a stool that is not in your way."

And my personal favorite:

"Never bolt the door with a boiled carrot."

That may save your life one day.

Here's the links. Enjoy!

A Crocheted Pot O' Gold

I would skip adding the handle and fill with
gold candy (so I have an excuse
to buy chocolate)

Adorable Shamrock/Clover Pattern

I love the shape of these; I'm planning on making
a garland with them.

Leprechaun Hat Candy (or other small object) Dish

Hooray for another excuse to buy chocolate!

Supa Cute Shamrock Bookmark

These would be lovely gifts.

Rainbow Coasters

Stick your pot o' gold nearby and use it as
an excuse to act like a stingy little green person!

Shamrock Lariat Necklace

The perfect amount of green for your
St. Patty's day ensemble ... and I can think of
at least three ways it would help you
survive a zombie apocalypse.

Credit where credit is due: None of these patterns are mine. All oohing and aahing should be

directed towards the original creators.

Differences the Second Time Around

2012-02-29T08:22:00.000-08:00

In case you missed the announcement, we are expecting bambino number two in September! I've got lots and lots to tell you after 8 weeks of secret-keeping.

There are quite a few differences the second time around. Here's what I've noticed:

Don't forget some kick ants band aids
for your fake paper cuts.

> You're achier.
I sat down at work around 8 weeks preggo and a random and extremely painful twinge in my rear caused me to yell "YOWCH!" rather loudly.

My coworker: "Are you okay?"
Me: "Yeah, I uh ... just paper cut my neck."

Golden Nugget of Wisdom: To hide a pregnancy, blame everything on paper cuts.

>You forget you're pregnant.

I was hyper-aware of my first pregnancy, especially during the first trimester. I was constantly checking for any signs of ANY thing that could be wrong. Wait, what was that? A weird pain in my heel???

CALL THE DOCTOR, QUICK!

This time around, I've forgotten I'm pregnant several times. The good side is that it's making everything speed by, even the 8 weeks of being sicker than a circus peanut eating elephant. The bad part is that I get in trouble for things like this:

The setting: Husband is sitting in the recliner watching some random action movie on TV. Puffy bloated woman (that's me) walks in and picks up hubby's beer off the end table.

Husband: "Um, what are you doing?"

Me: "Taking a drink. Duh."

Husband: *horrified look*(punctuated by gunfire from the blaring speakers)

Me: "Oh yeah."

Puffy bloated woman sheepishly sets beer down and exits to kitchen to find some fried chicken and/or chocolate.

End scene

Lest you think me an unfit mother and decide to call child services, I invite you to try waking up four times a night with a screaming, teething 9 month old while trying not to blow chunks all over the opposite wall and we'll see how well your brain functions in the morning.

> You pooch. Excessively.

I was pretty concerned people were going to guess I was preggo due to the seemingly gigantic bump I acquired during the first trimester. Fortunately, people didn't seem to notice. Or if they did, they just though I had consumed a few hundred donuts (or Jimmy Dean sandwiches ... ).

This is what I mean by "excessive pooch".

> You're not so crazy about sharing the news.

To me it seems like there is some type of stigma about getting pregnant again, especially if your kids will be close together. I mean, it's embarrassing the first time around because everyone knows you, you know, do it. Or at least did it once. But if you get pregnant AGAIN, it's kinda like, "Fool me once, shame on you ... fool me twice ... YOU SEX ADDICT. What is WRONG with you?"

It's a curse.

Okay, okay. I'll go to sex addicts anonymous.

> You forget how far along you are.

See aforementioned note about sleep deprivation ...

"You're pregnant? Oh congrats (you evil sex addict). How far along are you?"
"Uhhh, maybe like 12ish, 14 ... a few months."

I might just be "a few months" along until I have this kid :-)

DIY Wax Seals for Envelopes and other Pretties

2012-02-27T14:34:00.000-08:00

>>> Ze Back Story <<<

(if you'd rather not listen to me babble, skip down to Ze Instructions)

Two and a half years ago, I was in a wedding planning frenzy. Pretty much everything that came out of my mouth was wedding related. My conversations went kinda like this:

"How are you today?"

"Oh, I'm pondering the difference between ballerina or cotton candy pink ... "

"Did you want fries with that?"

"I don't know. Will they lead to wedding dress zipper not zipping up DISASTER?!?"

It was pretty bad. But I really enjoyed the process, even if everyone around me did not.

One of my favorite parts was creating wedding invitations. My very talented aunt offered to calligraph (is that a word?) for FREE, so I decided to go all out. There were multiple inserts and ribbons and little golden aspen leaf charms and vellum envelopes and best of all, a gold wax seal on each one And lest you think I was an evil money-eating bridezilla, we only sent out sixty of them. (Our whole wedding was less than $3,000, in fact. Someday I need to write a post about how the heck we managed that.)

Anyway, the task fell to me to search out special gold wax for the seal and a low-heat glue gun (I had no idea those even existed) and the little stamper doohicky. I spent hours searching and finally came across a crafting site (whose name I do not recall) with everything I needed for $50. It was kind of stupid to spend $50 just for wax seals, but my self-induced wedding craziness blinded me to that little bit o' common sense.

I was not as amazingly amazing back then.

When I was creating the melted heart valentine, I had an epiphany. What if I used the same method to create a wax seal on an envelope? I could save another bride (or other crafty person) money! I could help them add a little something extra to those beloved invitations! I just had to try it out, and unlike J Lo's cleavage tape at the Oscars, it WORKED!

>>> Ze Instructions <<<

Materials:
crayons in the color of your choice (they come in every hue, so be specific!)
a candle
matches or a lighter
something to stamp the wax with*

*I used the stamper doohicky left over from my wedding. You can either buy one at a craft store, use a cute stamp, use something random you have around the house like a piece of jewelry, or make a personalized one using this tute.

I recommend practicing this technique first so you don't ruin any of your precious invitations. It truly is so easy a caveman could do it, but it's better to be safe than sorry!

1.Gather your materials. I recommend sealing your beloved invitations the old fashioned way first (lick 'em and stick 'em) just in case of any rough handling by the P.O.

2. Light your candle. (If you are like me, you may yell, "BEHOLD, I GIVE YOU FI-YAH!" a la Sid from Ice Age. Or not.)

3. Tear the paper off your crayon. Hold the now-nekkid crayon about an inch from the candle flame until it gets all melty.

4. Quickly position the crayon over your envelope and let the wax drip into a nice puddle in the proper place. If it's not dripping enough, you can roll the end of the crayon around on the envelope to get more wax to stick. Also, I found it easiest to move the envelope to the crayon instead of vice versa.

5. Stamp the wax puddle with your stamper doohicky or other item.

Voila! A DIY wax sealed envelope!

Karma's a B ... ad Word

2012-02-25T13:47:00.002-08:00

I should have known when I said, "Hooray, I'm not super fat anymore!", karma would sneak up and karate chop me.

Right. in. the. face.

It did. In a good slash exciting slash scary slash oh my word what are we going to do sort of way.

Anyone wanna guess what we found out January 2?

Yep.

Unexpected expecting is kinda how we roll.

It's more fun that way.

There, I Fixed It ...

2012-02-21T16:11:00.000-08:00

I'm happy to announce that all my photo links are fixed now. If you see anything wonky, let me know!

Speaking of fixing things, check out this hilariousness:

Things like this make people like me feel smart.

Pictures are from the There, I Fixed It web site.

It's Broooken, Cap'n!

2012-02-16T17:30:00.000-08:00

Hiya!

I am (finally) organizing my Photobucket albums, so some of my photos aren't going to show up. I will try to fix the broken links as quickly as possible. Please bear with me until that happens!

this is not a grasshoppa ... this is richard simmons reincarnated as a bug

Gracias, grasshoppa!

So there I was ...

2012-02-15T06:00:00.000-08:00

On Pinterest ... again.

Hoover dam you, Pinterest.

"You make me feellll, you make me feellll, you make me feel like a sleep-deprived moronnn."

And then I write stuff like that ...

Whilst you are feasting your eyes on the genius of others, remember this:

So very true.

Day 14 ~ Happy Valentine's Day! {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

14 Days of Fluffy Stuff is officially over! Hooray!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! In other words,

happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary,
manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day.

It may be true, but I got chocolate and steak.

I ain't complainin' :-)

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Day 13 ~ Fluffy Fashion: Update a Bracelet {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-13T06:41:00.000-08:00

Hola!

Today we are going to spruce up a bracelet in less than 30 seconds. You'll need a chunky bangle and a square scarf. Here's whatcha do:

1. Grab your materials.
2. Fold your scarf in half so you have a triangle.
3. Roll it up (like you would for a blindfold)
4. Thread the bangle onto the scarf and center it.
5. Wrap each end around the bangle.
6. Tie it, then twist the scarf around the bangle so your knot is on the inside.

All done!

It's fluffy!

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Day 12 ~ Melted Crayon Valentine {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-12T09:49:00.000-08:00

Hallooo!

I have a last minute Valentine idea for all you slackers. It's insanely easy and insanely cheesy. But that's okay!

The best part was my house smelled like melted crayons for a few hours. It takes me back to the time my brothers and I stuck crayons in the baseboard heater. Ah, those were the days.

You will need:
crayons
a candle
matches
paper
toothpicks

And here's the super simple process:

1. Draw a heart outline.
2. Remove the paper from the end of the crayon (you know, so you don't light something on fire ... not that I'm speaking from experience or anything ...)
3. Get the end of the crayon all melty over a candle. It melts surprisingly fast, so be quick!
4. Fill in your heart outline with the meltiness. You might need to reheat your crayon a few times.
5. Once the wax has dried, add a fluffy saying. I went with, "You melt my heart" cuz of the whole melty thing. You could also do, "I love you" or "XOXO" or even, "I really wish you would put your freaking socks in the hamper".

I also made this melted crayon art using the same process:

It's melty and rainbow-y and fluffy-y! Hooray!

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Day 11 ~ Valentine's Day Manicures {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

Hooray for the weekend! Hopefully you're doing something fun!

If you get a minute or fifteen, try one of these pretty Valentine's Day manis:

chevron heart nails ... totally brill (source)

matte conversation hearts nails ... (source)

Sally Hansen Salon Effects "Love Letter" mani (source)

how to create a heart with a toothpick! (source)

And for those of you not so fond of V-Day, here's an anti-Valentine's Day mani idea:

broken heart crackle mani (source)

Have a very fluffy weekend!

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It's a bird, it's a plane, it's ORGANIZATION!

2012-02-10T17:02:00.000-08:00

So remember way back when I said I was going to add navigation to this site? I finally did it! On the right, ladies and gentlemen, we officially have organization! I may add more categories later, but for now we have:

Amazingly enough, all 97 of my insanely random posts fit into one or more of these categories.

Maybe I'm not as random as I thought ...

GIGANTIC PURPLE POLKA DOTTED ELEPHANTS EATING SWISS CHEESE!

Okay, never mind.

Hope you enjoy!

Day 10 ~ Winnie the Pooh {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-10T07:00:00.000-08:00

Whilst locating yesterday's video clip, I came across the Winnie the Pooh theme song on YouTube.

Who better for Day 10 than Pooh!? Being stuffed with fluff and all, I figure he's an expert on the current subject and deserves at least a mention. I remember listening to this song and singing it with my brothers. Yes, the weird scary brother, too :-)

I also found this fun personality test for determining which Pooh character you most resemble. Keyword: FUN. Don't get all freaked out if you're Eeyore, okay?

Anyone wanna guess what I got?

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New Name!

2012-02-09T12:35:00.000-08:00

Hiya peeps,

I am officially official! I am proud to announce {walker whimsy} has its own domain name! Hooray!

I am freakishly excited about this and I'm not sure why ... I could randomly burst into song at any moment.

randomly bursting into a song that makes no sense?
check.

Anyhoo, the new site address is http://www.walkerwhimsy.com. WOO!! You can change your bookmarks if you so desire, but the old domain should redirect here (hopefully).

Are you excited? I am SO excited. I might even do a backflip or something.

Actually, I would probably die if I attempted that. I'll just stick to the usual celebration ritual of a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

Hooray!

Day 9 ~ A Video Clip {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-09T07:00:00.000-08:00

Hey peeps,

It's fluffy Day 9 of 14 and I'm feeling kinda like this ...

How 'bout you?

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Day 8 ~ Five Fluffy Desktop Backgrounds {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-08T07:00:00.000-08:00

Hola!

Today we have some fluff for your desktop. Hooray!

And a bonus :-)

I found all these on Tumblr and I don't claim any of them as mine. If you are the owner of any of these

photos, please let me know.

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Day 7 ~ Flower Arranging 101 {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-07T07:00:00.000-08:00

If you're like me, fresh flowers are a special occasion thing. They are given to me for three reasons:

a) Valentine's Day
b) my birthday
c) when my husband does something really stupid (like losing his wedding ring in the river on our anniversary or smashing into a deer at 55 mph ... in MY car)

When I do get flowers, I like to take a few extra steps to make them last and arrange them all pretty-like.

And today I am sharing those steps with you for V-Day (or a major "oops" by your significant other ... whichever comes first :)

Sooo, here's what I do to ensure that my blooms blossom brilliantly. Boo ya.

you'll need ...

Materials:
flowers ... duh
a vase (make sure the opening is large enough to accommodate all the flowers without squishing them)
scotch tape
ribbons and other lovelies (optional)

Floral tape, wire and needle nose pliers can also come in handy, but they are not necessary.

Here's whatcha do:
1. Remove all the wrapping stuff.
2. Pull off all the leaves that will end up below the water line.
Why?
Because if you don't, they will rot and cause an explosion of bacteria that will murder your flowers.
3. Cut 1-2 inches off each stem. It's best to cut them at a 45 degree angle because it increases surface area and also keeps the stems from sitting flat against the bottom of the vase.

4. Check your flower height against your vase. Does it look good to you? Trim if needed, remembering 45 degrees.

flower food and CLEAN water

5. Fill your (clean) vase with (clean) water. Some people use distilled, but I haven't noticed a difference.
6. Add flower food if it came with the arrangement. If not, you can make your own with this recipe:

2 T lemon juice
1 T granulated sugar
1/4 t bleach

these are flower frogs

7. Grab your scotch tape and use it to create a grid across the opening of your vase. Depending on the size of your arrangement/flowers/vase, you might want to cut the strips in half so they're thinner.

This is a cheap-o version of a flower frog and it really helps arrangements keep their shape.

it's inveeesible ...

8. Now for the actual arranging!

This step differs based on flower type you have and the effect you're going for. There are literally hundreds of ways to arrange flowers, so have fun with it! For a classic arrangement with one type of flower, place them one at a time in the vase at differing angles for a nice rounded effect like this:

If you have a mixed bouquet, start with "fillers" - flowers with more than one bud on each stem (like baby's breath) and any greenery (like ferns).

fillers

Then add single stem flowers and any lovelies you may have in bare spots.

Voila! A classic and simple flower arrangement for V-Day (or any day)!

Remember, flower arranging is an ART. Trust yourself and you'll end up with something you love :)

Now go fluff some flowers!

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Day 6 ~ Roses are Red, George Washington is Cool ... wait, does that even rhyme? {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday, everybody!

It's confession time. For a brief period during my teen years, I was obsessed with George Washington. To the point that my then-boyfriend (now-husband) got a teeny bit jealous.

Of a dead guy.

With wooden teeth.

Riiiiight.

I am (thankfully) not obsessed anymore. But I'm still a nerd. And therefore I could not resist whipping up this little number.

Doesn't it just make that nerdy side of you go, "yesssth"?

If you want to share, right click and save the .jpg to your computer. Print it. Or email it. Or Facebook it. Or Pin it. Or Tweet it.

Exonerate your inner nerd!

Who doesn't want a bunny on their dashboard?

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Day 5 ~ Dust Bunnies {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-05T07:00:00.000-08:00

Anyone remember these guys?

It's Fuzzy and Wuzzy from the '90s TV show Big Comfy Couch! For some reason, when I think of fluffy stuff, I think of bunnies (hence the official fluffy stuff picture). And when I think of bunnies, I think of dust bunnies.

Possibly because they are currently colonizing my home.

Sometimes when I look at those gigantic piles of mystery fluff, I feel very bad about my skills as a housekeeper/wife/mother. But then I remember they just might be tiny galaxies (like Horton Hears a Who ... only with, um, dust instead of a flower) and I think, "It sure would be a shame to wipe out an entire civilization with a broom."

And that, my friends, is how I justify sitting on my butt instead of doing chores.

You should try it sometime.

Get fluffy:

Day 4 ~ Five Crochet Heart Patterns {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

Hiya!

Hope you are having a lovely weekend. If you happen to have any spare time (ha ha), I've rounded up five of my favorite crochet heart patterns. They are adorable and fluffy and quite easy to work up. So without further ado, here you go!

Amigurumi Heart from MyGurumi

Tiny Heart from julie-k

Crocheted Heart from Little Birdie Secrets

Granny Square Heart from Undisthreadness

Plarn Heart from Moira Crochets Plarn

Enjoy!

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Day 3 ~ Pretty Printable {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-03T16:39:00.000-08:00

Hola!

Today we have a pretty pdf printable.

Here's the link: http://freepdfhosting.com/5257f7e1de.pdf

Happy fluffies!

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Day 2 ~ Fluffy Flowers {14 Days of Fluffy Stuff}

2012-02-02T12:06:00.000-08:00

Hello peeps,

Today we are making some lovely paper flowers. The best part? FLUFFING is actually a step!

Many of you are probably familiar with the technique used. It is simple and easy and creates fluffy things. Therefore it is awesome.

Here's what you need:

>Paper (I used tissue paper and sheet music ... you can use any type of paper you want)

>Scissors

>Floral wire

>Pliers

And here's what you do:

For the tissue paper flower:

First, cut 5 squares of tissue paper and stack them on top of each other.

Add scallops to two edges.

Fold the squares in half, then accordion fold each side every half inch.

Cut a 6" piece of wire and wrap it around the center of the tissue paper. I used pliers because I do not have fingers of steel. Darn it.

Trim each end into a semi-circle.

Fan it out.

And FLUFF it up!

All done!

For the sheet music flower:

Cut two squares of sheet music.

Fold in half and then accordion fold (just like with the tissue paper flower).

Cut a 6" piece of floral wire and wrap it around the center of the paper. Again, pliers come in very handy.

Trim each end into a semi-circle.

Fan it out and cut along each crease.

And FLUFF it up! I curled the pieces in different directions with my fingers.

Ta dah!

There you have it, day 2 of fluffy stuff. Enjoy!

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