Frizzy

Eight Hours

2012-01-25T13:47:00.000-08:00

While sitting at my desk today and finding myself shifting every few minutes, I began to wonder

If they can make 18-hour bras, why can't they make 8-hour tights?

My thought for Wednesday....

This week's theme for GBE2 is Time.

Why are you being so mean?

2012-01-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

This week's GBE2 prompt is Work

At my job we purchased this handy in an out board. We have a lot of tutors working for us and the board helped us to know who was in the office when students asked. I purchased colorful magnets and we used the board all semester. I noticed this last week
All the pink buttons have been pilfered.

I suspect a college student. I don't think it was one of my employees. More than likely, it was a student visiting the office. The theft occurred between the last week of the semester and the week after that.
I bet the person responsible has a Hello Kitty themed dorm room.

Source http://magimg.chinayes.com

I expect a certain level of pilfering from university students. It is for that reason that all of my pens have silk flowers taped to them and all of my office supplies are labeled.
Or I could purchase some of these ☛

source: http://www.moxiebird.com

I used to have name badges for my student employees. That is, until I realized that despite being able to maintain a smartphone, college id which doubles as a library and ATM card, and a mp3 player with monsterbeats headphones, these students could not keep up with a name badge for work.

see more Funny Graphs

I had to start ordering badges every semester (without names) for students when I learned that my graduating student workers were taking them home as souvenirs.

I love my job. I really do. I love working with college students. But,I am still baffled by the magnets. I bought them from Wal-sucks because of the color choices. What do I do now?

Taking magnets from an in and out board is just wrong.
I want them returned.
But not if they were in an HK themed dorm room. ...

This blog entry is dedicated Sayyidakitten

Big Money, Big Dreams

2012-01-05T18:44:00.000-08:00

24 hours

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T23:30:00.000-08:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Nail her like a teen

2011-12-30T11:49:00.000-08:00

I am writing this post in response to this week's GBE2 prompt
Free writing for 15 minutes.
I have a topic. A subject to consider.
What will be the subject titles for my posts for 2012?
For 2011, I used the subject headings from my SPAM folder. I must say AT and T does an excellent job of filtering out such email message subjects.
I don't have a favorite for 2011 but "Blood won't leave Willie" would make a list of my top two.
The show titles for episodes of the Jerry Springer show are being considered for my 2012 posts.
I just don't know if they are varied enough
"My sister stole my boyfriend"
"Lesbian threesomes"
"Transexuals confront secret lovers"
My content isn't so risky.
I just like to write about the funny people that I know and when the darndest things happen to me.
And happen to me often they do.
No one will forget the possum under the couch.
Nor will I

Or my drunken texts from a night of sake and martinis
FYI Don't mix sake and martinis.
I think I am going to have some sake tonight. Yup.
This weekend I expect to spend the last days of 2011 with my dad and his family.
That should be entertaining. My step-sister has three little girls stair-stepped and adorable.
I can't wait to give to them their Giftmas presents.
I still have to head to Game Stop to purchase a gift card for my nephew.
When I went there on Sunday it was crowded and it smelled like man funk.
You know man-funk. It smelled like a living room during a football party- including snacks.
I was out shopping at Hallmark to pick up some cards for 40% off. I like Hallmark cards. I feel that when I send them for the holidays, I am impressing my friends with my cultured expressions of season's greetings.
I really like Hallmark, I also frequent their stores because they are locally owned by small business owners. I am doing two good things with my patronage.
I can find the most interesting small gifts from their stores. I just wish that so many hadn't closed back in 2008. It takes more of an effort to shop there and it is so much easier to pick up a card at the grocers or some stupid box store.
I did not pick up a calendar. I like to wait a long as possible to purchase a calendar. I find that someone will give me one for free that I will absolutely love if I just wait.
I do head to the locally owned garden and beer making supply store for their annual Farmer's Almanac calender for its garden hints. I picked up some basil seeds while I was there.
I am going to attempt grow indoor basil this winter for my cooking.
I just know it will not work for me.
Just like my Christmas Cactus has not bloomed in two years.
I probably need to plan that better. I want a bloom. Dawggonit.
At least the cat doesn't bother that plant.
She just likes to poo when ever I am down or up wind of her litter box. Doesn't seem to matter how much I spend on the litter.
Well that is 15 minutes. I hope to write one more post before 2012. I hope you enjoy it and all the other ones.
Happy New Year

Germany shows Portugal the strength of another inch

2011-12-22T05:02:00.000-08:00

Today's blog title comes courtesy of Vanilla Wafer's spam box.
Aw VW. I miss you.
This post is loosely based on the Wonder prompt for GBE2 this week.

I haven't written in a few weeks. Blame it on the changing weather and SADS.
First, my grammie became ill. That was a distraction. Then my semi-annual sinus-infection appeared. After that I stopped sleeping. I do not enjoy the Fall as much as I should.
In between those events, Uncle Handyman did what all handymen do. He disappeared. I learned later that he was with Grammie. So, all is forgiven. Kinda.
During this time I acquired a houseguest. mmmm, an intermittent houseguest.
Wonderful....

She is an OPK, daughter of my cousin.

I shall call the little houseguest, Bebe.

At 17 years old she is quite sassy. Delightfully so.
I invited her to use my house computer to apply for jobs.
She took me up on the offer.

That is what she said when she entered my home

Sadly, Uncle Handyman's worker left messes everywhere. I avoided cleaning for the fear that he would return to leave another mess after his departure.
I finally had to tell Uncle Handyman that I didn't want his worker in my home by himself because he was slow and messy.
Unfortunately, Grammie's illness required Uncle Handyman to leave his worker unattended to take her to appointments. Finally, I paid them to leave.
And what a mess his worker left.
At least I have this to report

	Old kitchen ceiling
New kitchen ceiling

Back to my cousin visiting me. I enjoyed Bebe's visits. If you follow my OPK tag you will note that I find OPK's to be full of wonder and humor. I am honored that any child would share my company. Bebe's visit warmed my biological clock. It may have started ticking again.
I would pick Bebe up or her mom would drop her off to my house. After settling her things, Bebe would log into the computer, apply for jobs, connect with friends on facebook, and watch TV. Someone would escort the teenager back to her own house after a few hours. Her half day visits turned into overnight visits without much warning.

But this presented a problem, so I asked
	She responded with an exaggerated shrug of her shoulders.

She put it back on me. I had to find her a way to school in the morning.
This is how OPKs get over on me. Their problems become my problems.
Remember a few years back when my nephew turned me into his personal valet? Just imagine me tying the shoes of an eight year old boy because I was too silly to recognize his deceit.
Since I had somehow become a personal assistant to Bebe, I contacted Leeza, the next door neighbor. She agreed to carpool both Bebe and her daughter to School.
Problem solved.
I informed Bebe that she would not miss School. Unimpressed, she mumbled, "Okay."

One day, I spotted her wearing my clothes. When I asked, she explained that she was cold. Okay, I guess. Resourceful, I thought.
Sitting in living room after a long day of work, I pick up my roommate to select a channel and I noticed that she had created and labeled her own Favorites list of channels on the cable. I found this amusing.

A few days later, I found new recordings on the DVR. Bebe had set the timer for a few of her shows.
My snacks were dwindling, as well. I went to the store and bought some microwaveable snacks for her to eat after School. I wanted her out of my rice cakes. I need them for my Nutella. Oh, I gave her a key to the house so she could use the computer.
My sister started teasing me that I had a new roommate. I began to wonder if she was right. Then I thought about it.

I reminded her that roommates pay rent. Bebe, ate my food, used my computer, slept in my bed, left her dirty clothes for me to wash but did not pay rent.She was an OPK. Not my teenager.
Just to prove it, I asked Bebe to dust mop the floor on her next visit. I demonstrated the technique, assured her that it wasn't like sweeping or mopping. She agreed.... But she also has not returned to the house.
I wonder why.

Friendly support and best offers!

2011-12-20T17:20:00.000-08:00

Youth Life Excellence

2011-12-13T08:20:00.000-08:00

So many stories, these photos tell.

Be her devil of love

2011-12-07T11:40:00.000-08:00

Image Source: http://goo.gl/Bzw59

Your Job Application is Pending

2011-11-30T11:55:00.001-08:00

Private Windows House

2011-11-02T08:43:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

Jizz inside her again and again

2011-10-26T07:45:00.000-07:00

Ownership The joys of homeownership.
This week's GBE2 prompt is ownership.

I thought this would be the blog entry to update you on the Possum Occupation of 2011.
This is the hole dug along my foundation.Uncle Handyman felt that since he was digging along my foundation then he should check for leaks.

This is the worker looking for the possum entrance.

So much for the garden.
Contractors don't respect anything.
I got a call saying that they were there, I rush home and my clematis is already destroyed. Uncle Handyman determined that the possum must have dug a hold under the house addition.

This should have happened as the building codes stipulate construction should go to at least 5 feet below the ground. The previous owner only oversaw the depth of 3 cinderblocks. This makes sense to men.
Have at it.

What remains of my collard greens.
I think there is enough for one half of a holiday meal.
That is a lot of dirt. When they attempted to fill the holes the backyard did not appear to be level. As if, more dirt joined the party. I am still trying to level the back yard before the frost.

They found it. Uncle Handyman compelled me to jump into the cavity in my backyard and see the possum hole for myself.
I didn't want to do it. But here is the proof that I did.

A better view for you. I had to reach up to get this photo.

This entry makes me nostalgic. I began blogging shortly after I purchased my house. So many things went wrong in the first six months.
I would link you to those old entries but they went away with Yahoo! 360. That experience taught me to have two sites, one acting like a backup

I found some pictures that were used in the original blog:

Fall of 2004. I hired a company to remodel the upstairs bathroom. When they were complete, I complained that the water pressure was too low.I described it as showering in a rainstorm.
Their attempts to review the problem and my plumbing resulted in a discovering that the water main had completely rusted.

Their manipulations caused it to rupture and the City issued a notice to me. My co-workers still refer to my homestead as the Lake House.
One even took the time to create an neat image of my house with a lake in front of it. I started a blog not long after this incident.

This is how the front lawn looked in Spring 2005.It recovered from the excavation from the Fall. I ended up firing the original contract company and filing a complaint against them. Long story... that I can't link you to because the journal entry is gone.

I learned as time went by that like contractors, Handymen can be very undependable. Each would get so far in the repairs and then disappear. I hired my first handyman in 2006 and he addressed my curb appeal.

nThe new handyman, Scott, reseeded my lawn. He disappeared before he could build a rain barrel for me. I believe that was around Spring of 2007. I made one for myself using a chisel, pantyhose, grated pipe cover, roofing tar and a threaded hose. Uncle Handyman said that he never saw anything like that before.

This was the only time I have had a real lawn. I remember that Spring in 2005. Just look at it.
Scott fixed the poor jobs that the contractors had left behind in my basement. I liked Scott. By the end of the Fall, I felt that I could handle all future home repair issues by myself.

When my bedroom closet, that I had PROUDLY hung, fell, I had to call back Scott to fix it. I sat on the floor crying after it fell. I almost fired him when he told me that I had too many shoes. HOW DARE HE.
In 2006, I redecorated the porch by myself. See the pictures here. Scott was out of the picture by then having left me hanging without a water barrel. I found a new handyman in 2008, Mark. He fixed some of the errors committed by Scott. He left without a word and with half the dining room molding stripped of stain.I think that was in 2009. The next guy that I used did his own disappearing act after not properly sealing the flat roof. After that incident, I decided to only work with family and Uncle Handyman.
After a few years of this I learned to live with the little inconveniences and the gray hairs.
This Spring, the light fixture in the kitchen crashes to the floor leaving two holes in the ceiling, it doesn't bother me. I ask Cousin L to install this light fixture.

I think it is a great fix. Uncle Handyman laughed.

Look at what this guy did

see more There I Fixed It

Let me provide you with a listing of my favorite home ownership adventures that survived the move to Multiply and Blogger.

1. Strays: I wrote about roommates that reminded me of stray animals. I have since learned to be more particular.
So, my recent roommate entries have been about great people.
2. Yard work:
*I have written extensively about my lack of lawn care management skills and; grass.
*My attempts at mulching, growing and gardening are documented
3. Outdoor pests: My feral cat problems, which continue to plague me, again
4. My life with my neighbors and that one annoying family across the street
5. That time my TV broke Day 2 and Day 4
6. Changing handyman because they like to disappear. This is the only surviving handyman entry-the Case of the leaking bathroom vent
7.The mysterious pooing of 2008
8. The flying trashcan
9. The insane house cats: Fuzzy, Fattie, Halle
10. The gnome that protects my home and garden
11. The bat infiltration of 2010
Blogging has been loads of fun and given me an outlet for my home ownership adventures. Thanks for reading.

Gaoyang，在Facebook

2011-10-19T17:39:00.000-07:00

World Company Register 2012

2011-10-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

I frogged the baby blanket again. I think I am up to six times.
I am working on a new pattern with a larger hook.
Similar to the ruana that I created last year.
It is Tunisian crochet.
I am starting from the corner with three stitches.

Foundation row
I crocheted four stitches.
Inserted my hook into the second chain from my hook, yo and drew the loop but did not pull through the stitch.
This left two loops on my hook. Then I repeated the step ending with three loops on my hook.
On the reverse pass, I YO then drew through the first loop keeping it on the hook. Then I yo and drew through two loops at a time until the end of the row.
You know typical stuff.
The second row is where the fun began.

Source: http://www.crochetme.com/

Forward Pass
I had three vertical bars and one loop on my hook. I need to increase.
1. Inc by pulling a loop through the horizontal stitch between the loop on the hook and the first vertical bar (which is under the working loop).
Next I began the pattern

source: http://www.chezcrochet.com/page22.html

2. Insert the hook to the right of the back loop of the second vertical bar. Grab the back loop with the hook. Pull it up on the hook while bringing the hook back the front. YO and pull through, keeping loop on hook. I don't know the abbreviation for this stitch. It is a reverse simple stitch.
3. Insert hook right to left under the next vertical bar. YO and draw loop through, keeping loop on hook
I repeated that until the last vertical bar of the previous row.This is tunisian simple stitch or TSS.
4. Inc one stitch
5. Then complete the final tss.
Reverse Pass
6. The reverse pass is YO then drew through the first loop keeping it on the hook.
7. YO and draw through two loops at a time until the one loop remains on the hook.
The reverse stitch looks sorta like this. Where the loop twists from left to right or clockwise.

source: ravelry.com

In the subsequent rows, I took care to follow the pattern from the previous row to make vertical bars.
I like it.

source: http://turtledovecoo.blogspot.com/

No more frogging.. Still don't get it?

When I unravel the blanket it I am ripping out the stitches. I -rip it and rip it and rip it.

Friendly Win Place

2011-10-14T06:30:00.000-07:00

My wordless blog post for this week

Spend this night boning her

2011-10-13T12:52:00.000-07:00

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

OneStopBlogWorld

Since my roommate moved out, I have had only Fuzzy to keep me company at night. So I guess that I have been paying more attention to her behavior.
For instance, I caught her doing an impression of ceiling cat in the basement.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

She exited from a small opening that led to the area above the basement drop ceiling and under the main floor. I wondered what she could be up to in there and then quickly put it out of my head.
Until, I spotted a stain on ceiling tiles.
I removed the tile and found some very strange stuff. Leaves. Like from the Fall.
Eh.
I made a call to Uncle Handyman and told him that I wanted him to come over.Remember the groundhog burrow under my garden? I figured that somehow the leaves had blown in at the start of the season. Sometime after April when AT and T pulled down ALL the ceiling tiles to replace my telephone wires. Besides, the garden was done for the season seeing how all the veggies were eaten the week before.
I couldn't schedule him to come to the house right away because I work late Tuesday thru Thursday and that weekend I had events to attend. The groundhog burrow and leaves in my basement could wait a little while longer.
Fuzzy started acting strange again. I noticed around Sunday night that she had stopped eating.
Tuesday morning as I am leaving for the gym I smelled something awful in the living room. I see Fuzzy pawing at floor near the couch and remember that I forgot to clean her liter box.
Feeling remorse, I drop my bags and look under the couch to see where she poo'd.
I spotted one of my elephant toys under the couch and cried, "Not Ellie." Fuzzy surely had poo'd all over Ellie in retribution for my not cleaning her litter box.
I pushed the toy back behind the couch with a broom and climbed the couch to reach out with my gloved hand to grab the filthy toy.

It Blinked.

I screamed.

Fuzzy ran.

Well, Fuzzy sure was helpful.
I called a friend and described the animal through gasping breaths.
It was a possum.
I called Leeza, next door, and told her about it. She came over with a net. Yes, the same net she brought over last year when I had the bat in my bathroom.

The neighbors were a godsend.
Leeza insisted on taking a picture of it.

After some silly running around to rearrange furniture, we realized that we were out of our league. I walked out onto my porch, observed the houses with lights at 7 am and picked the neighbor who I liked more.

She sent her husband over and the three of us created a pathway out of the house for the possum that was in no mood to leave. Finally, Leeza got her German Shephard to coax the creature out of the house.

And he sure did. Coaxed the poo right out of the possum all over my living room.

We finally got the dog away from the possum and the possum into the net.

Here it is playing possum. In the second picture it is pooping again.

During all of this my horrible sister made numerous "helpful" calls,
1. "No one from the city will remove a possum. They are vicious."
2. "Be sure to use gloves, possums carry diseases"
3. "You should check your basement. Possum's have ten babies"
4. "Kitty litter on the possum poop is a good idea. That stuff is a hell to clean up"
5. "My co-worker said that you should buy two animal traps: one for the outside and one for the inside"
6. "If you don't catch them all, they will just keep coming back"

After thanking my neighbors, walking past the poo filled living room to sit in my upstairs bedroom, I decided to draft some poetry while I calmed myself:

The groundhog eats from

the garden treats and invites

possum for nightcaps

Small possum all alone

Wonder where large possums go

After sunrises

Goldilocks critter

cat food not too hot or cold

kitty traps the thief

Stuffed toy under chair

Does not blink but possums do

Kitty runs and hides

Barkless dog sniffs prey

Jaws clamps down and poops exhudes

From possums stink hole

I posted the verses on Facebook and my online friends helped me to get back to my life and head to work. So, it would seem that I had a lot of help from my friends in getting my house back to normal. Too bad I had ignored all of Fuzzy's signs that something was wrong in my house.

Your number one 1 fan has sent you an eCard

2011-10-10T18:13:00.000-07:00

Three weeks ago on a Saturday I weeded the garden. This is what I found the next day

Two devoured collard plants.

I saw this a few days latter. Another collard plant devoured by the animals.

I spotted a groundhog back in July. I spied the tail end of a rabbit Monday night. I am thinking they are friends and had dinner in my backyard.

By Thursday I found all the half eaten tomatoes. My irritation mounting

Monday of the following week the freeloaders had eaten the zucchini and acorn squash vines down to the stalks. I'd had a thriving garden just ten days prior. It makes me so sad.

Strange but the okra had not been touched. Really, strange. Okra is so tasty.

All of my gardening this summer only succeeded in establishing a thriving outdoor eatery for small animals. I bet they are just dancing and eating the night way.

I am fighting a war here and I am losing. I am losing to four legged creatures with voracious appetites. I am in this war for the long haul. My garden or my sanity. The first battles involved the great slug infestation of 2010 and now the 2011 critter siege.

source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rea_photo/

The following Saturday, I knew I had a serious problem with the rodents as I headed to the garden store. I purchased some spray for the remaining three plants and covered them with bird netting. The spray should downgrade my garden eatery to one star making the food undesirable to the local residents.
Those residents include the groundhog, the rabbit that I spotted and a family of raccoons living in the VanDamme's tree.
Hopefully, this will leave me with just enough collard greens to eat for Thanksgiving (USA).
You know, if my childhood hadn't given me a healthy fear of putting my eye out, I would invest in a BB gun.
On the other hand, if I take up arms so will the animals.

source: http://www.fanpop.com/spots/bugs-bunny/images/21506000/title/hare-brush-screencap

Next year I am having raised bed gardening plots.

Top soft house

2011-10-09T15:19:00.000-07:00

I completed the cap for my co-worker a few weeks ago. She completed her chemotherapy just a few days before I finished the cap. I asked another staff to model it.
You can find the pattern here : chemo hat
I like that the cap will hide her hair as she grows it back.
I have had this yarn in my stash for a few years, now. I must say that I like the DiVe Melanite. Too bad that it is discontinued.

I try to participate in the Komen Race for the Cure every other year. This year (my off year) I decided to participate anyway. You can see my donation page here

I am no back to working on the baby blanket that I have unraveled - now- six times.
I am using Berroco Comfort DK and I have not been happy with the way the blanket has looked.
This yarn is very soft. Almost too soft for the original pattern.

I have now abandoned my crochet hook and I picked up my afghan hook. So far, I am happy with the texture. Crossing my fingers.
Stay tuned.

Make her deserted by morning

2011-09-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

I saw this poster in a training room on Saturday.

Using google, I attempted to understand it better.

It is quite clear to me now.

Your thingy won't go down

2011-09-25T18:15:00.000-07:00

This week's GBE2 word prompt is judgment. I had been working on this entry for a few days and realized that it expresses several definitions of judgment.

judgment: An assertion of something believed. (Life is better with chemistry)

I have mentioned a few times that I am back at the gym in another attempt to shed these Paxil pounds I gained back in 2008 and the Prozac belly that followed them. (Acquiring central obesity while in a mellow mood was less satisfying that being anxious and slightly overweight). Fortunately, I have not give up on addressing my PMS and SADs . Whether it is tea, exercise, sex, or a pill, I don't want to be high strung anymore.

I work-out in the recreational center at the local university. Yes, I get sweaty and winded around the beautiful people. Young men and women between 18-24, whose bodies have not acquired the stretch marks that identify the departure of the 20's or the shift of fat that takes place just before one achieves 40 years of age. I am at that age where the simple long-arm wave or high-five gives me pause.
I will wait for you to do the visual on that one. Don't judge me, I have arm fat.

judgment - the cognitive process of reaching a decision or drawing conclusions (the great bag search of 2011)

After some consideration, I realized that this new routine required a new gym bag.
I have been researching gym bags for the past two weeks.
OMG
Selecting the correct gym bag requires careful consideration. You would not believe the technology that goes into a simple gym bag.

Ventilated shoe pocket (Keeps dirty shoes from my wet clothes)
anti-microbial pocket (to keep wet clothes from becoming smelly wet clothes)
Water bottle holder (There's nothing worse that making that 200 yard walk from the car to the gym floor only to realize that I forgot my water bottle)
Pocket for mp3 player and wallet (The extra pocket for the items which individually cost more than the bag)
U shaped opening (Hot dog! Opens up like a suitcase)
Durable self repairing zipper (Self-repairing means that if the zipper spreads open below the slider, you can simply pull the zipper back down to reseal the teeth.; I had to research that one)
Padded shoulder strap (The bag be heavy, yo)
Large enough to hold a towel, makeup bag and shower kit (I can work-out longer if I head straight to work)
Lots of handles (Makes it easier to pull out of the locker)

Finally, armed with a new gym bag I am ready to enter the locker room.

see more Funny Graphs

judgment - the act of judging or assessing a person, situation or event (who knew that Co-eds find their nudity awkward)

Since the gym added more shower stalls with curtains, I decided to shower on site again.
I have a lot of quiet time while showering, dressing, and grooming in the ladies' locker room. Time to people watch.

First, I noticed a sort of compulsive mirror behavior while I applied my makeup. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot women checking the mirror just before heading to the gym floor to straighten their hair. I don't see the point. The men are quite busy doing their walking squats and looking at themselves in the mirror in front of the weight rack.

The stuff I witness in the lockerroom is also quite interesting.
It baffles me to observe students wearing shower shoes to class, around campus, and to work but not in the locker room. Not even in the shower. I continue to observe.

These same young people who wear shoes that cost less than my nail polish will shower barefoot AND in their underwear or swim suit. Why so bashful? I wonder why they just don't wait for one of the curtained stalls. I have see them when they wear tights as pants. I have see them underestimate the elasticity of spandex. I don't understand the modesty.

Once showered and barely dry I have seen some women ☛Get dressed in the bathroom stall (still barefooted). This type of modesty seems so silly. There are rows of lockers behind which one can hide.

In my opinion, these these gym guests should purchase shower towels with velcro with or without straps ☛
or a larger super absorbency towel.

judgment: criticism or censure (that is how hand,foot, and mouth disease is spread)

Oh and the best part. The behavior that makes me shake my head every day I visit the gym.

Not washing hands after getting dressed in the bathroom stall.

That makes me shudder. So nasty. Not using the stall in the way in which it was intended doesn't preclude the previous occupant from touching the handles and knobs after a BM. They don't even stop at the hand sanitizer station. I on the other hand wash my hands before leaving the gym as a general rule.

judgment - an opinion formed by judging something (I get the last laugh)

Now, I shall admit to my own behavior. Working out at the campus gym means that me and my body are continuing to age and sag while the students return each year younger and firmer. To assert myself I like to fart before I head out onto the floor.
A really big one but silent. I like to leave them unsuspecting, my final judgment.

cloned rolex watches buy best imitation rolex

2011-09-15T18:31:00.000-07:00

This subject

cloned rolex watches buy best imitation rolex

From my junkmail folder is quite incoherent. Let's take the sentence apart

Or is it.

I simply do not know.

Perhaps, I spent entirely too much time on that.

eh....

Summer continues and I am still getting veggies from the garden.

Last week's garden haul.
Basil
Zucchini
Cukes
Tomatoes
Cayenne Peppers
Jalapeno peppers
And eggplants

I have been watching the acorn squash. I might be picking it next week.

Yesterday, had to be one of the oddest days so far this Summer.
Wait.
Despite what you have heard, it is still Summer until next week. I wear white until the equinox. You can deal with it.

As a matter of fact, I will be attending a White Wine party. Yes, I thought it was a party featuring only white wine initially. I reread the invitation and pulled out some of my favorite white pieces that I shall wear one more time.

Now, my story
Last week, the storage room emitted a mildew-like smell. We shut the door. This week the stench overwhelmed anyone required to view old files. By Wednesday, the odor lead to the quarantine of the room. I contacted plant facilities.

"Hi, I have a storage room that smells like something may have died it in."
"Oh, that is terrible. I will have the maintenance guys head over to your location after their lunch hour."

That was easy. I waited. An hour latter, four big guys in blue coveralls pile into my office suite. The first guy, I shall refer to him as Al, says

Where do you smell smoke?
I looked shocked. "Smoke? No, it is a dead animal."
"We received a report for the smell of smoke."
"Let me take you to the room and you can smell it for yourself."

I lead the huge guys to the backroom. Two, I recognize as the electricians and the other two as the overall maintenance men for the building. The electricians look annoyed at being called out for a dead animal and not an electrical fire. I guess, we look for different types of excitement in our jobs.
I open the door and quickly jump back.

"Oh, that is just mildew. You should have the custodians disinfect this room" says Al.
"That is not mildew."

Al, motions to one of the electricians.
Apparently, I am to be ignored for being a woman.

"This is just a strong mildew smell. She should call the custodians to disinfect."
"That is a pretty strong smell," says the electrician at the frame of the storage room door.

In his defense. The room is pretty narrow and is filled with furniture. If he had entered the storage room, it would have been a tight fit. I inform the gentlemen that the smell has gotten worse over the last ten days.

"I am telling you that is not mildew."
"It could be a mouse. Probably in the ceiling tiles," says the electrician

Al begins to walk back and forth in the small room, looking under things and behind boxes for what he assumes to be an nonexistent carcass.
While he searches one of the smaller electricians joins him in the storage room.
The remaining men begin to discuss the time-frame for small animal decomposition. I asked them to stop talking about it.

"Hey there is a beer can in here," shouts Al after a minute or two.

"Don't tell me there is mildew in that can."

I am mortified. He picks up the can to demonstrate.I immediately begin to wonder if one of my staff members has a drinking problem. A problem hidden in the storage room where few people venture.

From where I stood, it looked like a beer can. I am so embarrassed. How do I address this? Do I call HR? Do I start smelling the breaths of my staff? How do I accomplish this being the shortest member of the office?
Fortunately, Al pulls me from my thoughts.

"This is the source of your smell."

He carries the can out of the room and attempts to induce the electricians into smelling it. Everyone smells it (even his partner in maintenance). I decline.
Instead, I note that it is not a beer can. It is a meal replacement shake.

I have an employee trying to secretly lose or gain weight.......Arghhhhh

He carries the can out of the suite with an extended hand. Everyone in the office pinches their respective noses as he walks past them. Being too dignified to pinch my nose, I opt to holding my finger under the bridge while glaring at each member of the office.

In conclusion,
it takes two electricians, two maintenance men and one stubborn woman to remove a nasty smell from the storage room.
P.S.
No one admitted to leaving the can in the storage room. I really don't care.

Make her Yearn More of You

2011-09-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

Part 2
I decided to break up the last post into child sized bites.
Continuing with my reflections of what it was like to be children.

What if playground rules applied to work situations:
Remember these:

1. Listen to and obey the supervisors.

That is a classic playground rule. Unfortunately, in the real world sometimes our supervisors are more like playground bullies or socially inept smart kid. Our bosses are not the kind playground lady or our protective parents. It is hard to take someone seriously that leaves work for two hours to reapply a broken “Lee Press On” nail. Or report to someone who never seems to get things done but is a really great guy.

2. Use the playground equipment safely, following all rules.

I wish that I could affix a sign that read this…. "Don't walk away from a paper jam" on the office copier. It is completely frustrating to go to the copier in a good mood only to realize that some butthole has left the copier with a jam or an error message and has not bothered to notify the program head or contact the service department.

It is like some stupid childhood game where you put the broken toy back in the bin, fart just before you leaving a room or scatter when something gets broken.

3. No chasing, kicking, fighting, play fighting, pushing, shoving, wrestling, spitting

Ahhh. We can’t do any of these things so we do other stuff like.. 1. linking people’s paperclips together, 2. leaving food to rot in the refrigerator, taking office supplies, 3.damaging the copier, 4. putting colored paper in the printer, 5. withholding mail or faxes, 6. unplugging coffee makers, printers, and fax machines, 7.hoarding napkins, 8.yelling “Hello or Good Morning” halfway down the hall to people you don’t like or don’t like you just to unnerve them and 9. publicly or loudly harassing people for going out to lunch and not inviting you.

4. No profanity, name-calling, or teasing

I find this to be difficult from time to time. I can say “Oh Pooh Bear, ”"Dagnabit" or “Mother of God” so many times before I just want to play some gangster rap on the Internet radio station.

Doesn’t everyone in an office have a nickname? “Queen of the Damned” was really funny for awhile. “The Minions”, “The Yes Mayamer”, “The Figurehead” “The Secretary who doesn’t want to be called a secretary”, simply “Unhappy”, “The Counselor.” "The King of Cover up"." The “On her/his Way Out” guy/gal is the person that we avoid.

5. No throwing ice, ice balls, snow, snowballs, rocks, stones, or anything that could hurt someone.

Just thinking about this one is making me have giggling fits. Papercuts hurt. So does leaning over, stooping down or lifting the copier or printer to find the dawgone paper jam. Hell, black ink all over my clothes because no one bothered to mention that the printer was out of ink, that really SUCKS.

Keep in mind: Throwing reports at people the day before you need them even though you knew about your meeting with the division head two months ago is like throwing an ice ball at someone's head.

The playground I understood, office spaces - I endure.

http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slideshows/1061/slideshow_106198/display_image.jpg?x=227531

6. No visiting or talking to people in cars, on the sidewalks, or any strangers.
This is probably a good rule to remember from the playground. Once I told a friend that she could visit me at work. I guess that I had forgotten to tell her that I was part-time because the day she came to visit me she shouted, “you are never here!” in front of the secretary and my supervisor. I can’t imagine why anyone would think that is an appropriate comment to say aloud with witnesses.
I think this rule should be amended for office environment. It should read, “No visiting or talking to people in cars, on sidewalks, in cubicles on the other side of the suite, hollering down the hallway or to any strangers.”

But then I would have to follow that rule. Cubicles make me too lazy to walk over to someone and have normal conversation. It is so much easier to push myself away from my desk and call out to someone in the break room which I can see from my door. Heck, we have an intranet instant messenger but we still shout over our cubicle walls.

Cubicle visiting is fun. But sometimes it can hurt you when you are noticed too long at a cubicle of the “On the way out guy” when he is on his way out. Come on, we all treat those people as if they have some form of cooties when it is obvious that they are being pushed out of their jobs. They become the creepy guy in the white van watching the kids play.

7. TREAT ALL CHILDREN AND ADULTS KINDLY AND RESPECTFULLY.
There are some easily identified forms of harassment that takes place in the office. There is, of course, sexual harassment, age harassment and then there is hostile environment harassment. I am sure that you can think of examples of each. I have an example of hostile environment harassment that no one ever considers. I call it “Greeting” bullying.It is like telling someone that they have a bad case of the Mondays because they did not greet you with the same level of Prozac induced enthusiasm. You remember bullying from the playground.

Once I was labeled the “One who does not speak to her co-workers” girl because my allergies clogged my ears and my throat. The episode reminded me of the whispers I heard about the girl who showed the boys her panties during recess. (I know what you are thinking but it wasn't me.)

Working life differs from children's games in that when you play on the dodge ball team no one can just take a time out because the cute boy walked onto the playground. In the office environment, it is difficult to maintain confidence and respect for someone who on the day before a major report is due leaves the conference room to take chicken soup to her sick (rich) boyfriend and doesn’t return.

We must remember to play fair like we did on the playground when adults were watching. If no one will play by the rules imagine squeezing the heads of your coworkers with your thumb and index finger.

Earth may once have had two moons

2011-09-08T20:25:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/groups/209032889129479/

i am beginning to suspect that i have fleas

I was dared to post that sentence as the first line of my next blog.You are welcome.

Today's blog topic is children.
I explored several directions before I committed to a topic.
Originally, I considered another Other People's Kids entry.
For those of you who follow my blog, you know that I have been reported the antics of my sisters kids and my cousin's kids since 2005.
I have been using the tag OPK since 2009.A retired teach friend mentioned to me one day that she wanted to write a book titled, "Other People's Kids."
I recently watched Lil'T and Trey but I will save that day of hilarious for another blog.
Instead I want to pick up a few things from my childhood. I pulled three blog entries from my archives to assist with this post. I made edits and updates so, almost technically, I have not plagiarized myself.

I liked childhood. Back then I used to have fantastical imaginations.
I remember wishing that I could do anything as recorded in this post from 2007.

I have been thinking for awhile about what I would do if i had the means to do anything.
Here goes...
I would create a Smurf channel on cable TV. It would play all the episodes of the Smurfs all day long.
No. I will play episodes of the Superfriends Hour, Smurfs, Space Ghost hour and Mighty Mouse.
I would permit subordinates to order Mental Health days for their directors. It would be for the mental health of the subordinate.
People who get their hair done in weekly up-dos, buns, hair pieces or goddess braids would be obligated by law to also have pedicures as frequently.
Dr. Pepper vending machines would be easier to find.
"Seventy percent off sales" would occur more frequently.
I would be able to remember people's names.
There would always be wine, vodka, tequila, gin and rum in my house.
I would only have one chin.
It would never snow in April.
There would be more Riddick movies.
Someone would detail my car every few months.
There would be more episodes of Futurama, funny episodes of Family Guy and another season of the Boondocks.
All of my student loans would be paid off and I could work for the sheer pleasure of it.
I would become my own Handyman and be able to fix, make or do anything to my own house.
Aging would be optional.
The Shoe man would make house calls. He would shine and repair my shoes on site and we could have a great time playing dress-up.

I imagined that I had superpowers. Today, I just want to feel like my doctors are actually listening to me.
When we were children we played by rules.
We also had short attention spans so I am continuing this topic in a second post

Man charged after shop set alight

2011-08-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

Yes, "Man charged after shop set alight" was a subject in my SPAM folder. In the body was a link to purchase viagra.
I frequent this deli because it is close to my house en route from work and for this poster by the entrance.

I finally snapped a picture and I can't stop giggling over it.So, I submitted it to failblog.
By entering the deli I am clearly doing what the owners do not want me to do.
What a nice yet incoherent way to say "GTFO."

Set Love Mode On

2011-08-27T20:14:00.000-07:00

Growing Wild

A few years ago my neighbor Lydia planted a concord grape vine.
She found the vine in the "last chance" section of the gardening department. She never picked the grapes allowing them to remain on the vine and provide food for the birds over the winter.
She really did not expect the vine to live past the first summer. In fact the next Spring, her neighbor cut the vine in preparation for a new family of rentors.
This is the vine now.

In case you are curious, I snapped those pictures from behind my garage and from my driveway.
Below is the diagram of our houses. You see where the vine was planted and how it creeped onto the power lines and is creeping toward my house and Leeza's (VanDam) house.

I finally asked Lydia "What is going on with that grape vine?"

She had no idea that the vine covered the power lines leading to my home. She thought that it had died years ago. I am so tickled by this vine that I have been telling everyone about it. I have called other neighbors into the backyard to see it. I have picked the grapes. They are quite tasty. I have a canopy between the garage and the back neighbors mulberry trees. (Those trees are their own nuisance.)
This week, I called the electric company and took great delight in describing the shrubbery that covers the power lines and everything else behind my garage. They promised to send someone out to remove the vine.Lydia is so embarrassed but to me the 'vine gone wild' is just another summer on my block, this time reminiscent of one of my favorite sci-fi moves.
With that being said let me show you the out of control zucchinis I have growing in the yard.

This is the fourth one that reached this size this summer. I simply cannot keep up with them.

And I have lost the war with the groundhog. These pictures document what remains of the cabbages despite my attempts to thwart the ground hog

Apparently my garden = his grazing station. He ate all of the first cabbage and started on the bottom one. All of the red and green peppers were gone. He nibbled them from the bottom up. Sadly, I will have to pay someone to dig up area around my house since the horrible creature made tunnels under the house and along the driveway.

Today, a friend shared with me that Juicy Fruit gum gets rid of groundhogs. Next Year. I will be prepared.