A day in the life

Seasons

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 18:28:00 +0000

1 Corinthians 4:5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.

Came across this powerful story and wanted to share it with you.

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted them to learn to not judge things too quickly, so he sent them each on a quest to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. He sent his first son in the winter, his second in the spring, his third in summer and his youngest in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no - it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

After hearing all his son's responses, the wise father replied, "Sons, you are all right -- because you have each seen only one season in the tree's life. But you cannot judge a tree, or a person, or anything else by only one season. Most things can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons have come to pass".

Peace,
Tim

No one stopped

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:02:00 +0000

The other day I was coming home from downtown Savannah. To get from downtown Savannah to my house you can take the expressway for a faster trip. The ramp I normally get off on is always backed up with cars. When I say backed up I mean there are about 25 – 30 cars from the stop light to the beginning of the off ramp. On this day at the bottom of the ramp there was a man & a woman standing there on the sidewalk by the stop light. I could see that they were probably in their 50s or at least looked like it. I could also see they were holding a sign but from where I was in line I could not see what it said. I figured they were there asking for help as I’ve seen other people there doing the same thing. As the light changed and all the cars moved down the ramp I began to notice that not one person was stopping to give them anything or even ask them if they were ok. After a few minutes I was finally close enough to see what the sign said… “We are stranded and need help”. By the time I went through the stop light still not one person had stopped to help in anyway.

Now I know what your thinking, most people are afraid to stop or think that the person you are giving money to will just blow it on booze or drugs. If you’re a so called Christian this is not the way you should be thinking. Because what they do with the money you gave out of the kindness of your heart is between them and God. We can never truly know someone's motives, only God knows their heart and they will have to answer to Him for what they do with the kindness you showed. Christ never gave restrictions on kindness.

Matthew 25:40 "As you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me".

US envoy says world must push for peace in Sudan

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:18:00 +0000

SaveDarfur.org has a post called "US envoy says world must push for peace in Sudan" that's worth checking out...

By FOSTER KLUG WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama's special envoy to Sudan said Tuesday that the world must make urgent efforts to help the African country fully apply the terms of a 2005 peace accord that ended a 22-year civil war between…

Amazing !!!

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:52:00 +0000

A couple of days ago I was running (I use that term very loosely) on my treadmill, watching a DVD sermon by Louie Giglio...and I was BLOWN AWAY! I want to share what I learned....but I fear not being able to convey it as well as I want. I will share anyway.

He (Louie) was talking about how inconceivably BIG our God is...how He spoke the universe into being...how He breathes stars out of His mouth that are huge raging balls of fire...etc. etc. Then He went on to speak of how this star-breathing, universe creating God ALSO knitted our human bodies together with amazing detail and wonder. At this point I am LOVING it (fascinating from a medical standpoint, you know.) .....and I was remembering how I was constantly amazed during medical school as I learned more and more about God's handiwork. I remember so many times thinking...."How can ANYONE deny that a Creator did all of this???"

Louie went on to talk about how we can trust that the God who created all this, also has the power to hold it all together when things seem to be falling apart...how our loving Creator is also our sustainer.

And then I lost my breath.
And it wasn't because I was running my treadmill, either!!!
It was because he started talking about laminin.
I knew about laminin. Here is how wikipedia describes them :"Laminins are a family of proteins that are an integral part of the structural scaffolding of basement membranes in almost every animal tissue." You see....laminins are what hold us together....LITERALLY. They are cell adhesion molecules. They are what holds one cell of our bodies to the next cell. Without them, we would literally fall apart. And I knew all this already. But what I didn't know is what laminin LOOKED LIKE.

But now I do.
And I have thought about it a thousand times since (already)....
Here is what the structure of laminin looks like...AND THIS IS NOT a "Christian portrayal" of it....if you look up laminin in any scientific/medical piece of literature, this is what you will see...

Amazing!

The glue that holds us together....ALL of us....is in the shape of the cross.
Immediately Colossians 1:15-17 comes to mind.

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.
For by him all things were created; things in heaven and on earth , visible and invisible,
whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities;
all things were created by him and for him.
He is before all things,
and in him all things HOLD TOGETHER. "
Colossians 1:15-17

Call me crazy. I just think that is AWESOME!
Thousands of years before the world knew anything about laminin, Paul penned those words. And now we see that from a very LITERAL standpoint, we are held together...one cell to another....by the cross.

You would never in a quadrillion years convince me that is anything other than the mark of a Creator who knew EXACTLY what laminin "glue" would look like long before Adam even breathed his first breath!!

Rome is burning

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 11:37:00 +0000

The article below was written by Stanislav Mishin, a blogger and columnist for the Russian newspaper Pravda.

American capitalism gone with a whimper . . . . .
It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American decent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people.

True, the situation has been well prepared on and off for the past century, especially the past twenty years. The initial testing grounds was conducted upon our Holy Russia and a bloody test it was. But we Russians would not just roll over and give up our freedoms and our souls, no matter how much money Wall Street poured into the fists of the Marxists.

Those lessons were taken and used to properly prepare the American populace for the surrender of their freedoms and souls, to the whims of their elites and betters.

First, the population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather than the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas than the drama in DC that directly affects their lives. They care more for their "right" to choke down a McDonalds burger or a BurgerKing burger than for their constitutional rights. Then they turn around and lecture us (Russia) about our rights and about our "democracy". Pride blinds the foolish.

Then their faith in God was destroyed, until their churches, all tens of thousands of different "branches and denominations" were for the most part little more then Sunday circuses and their televangelists and top protestant mega preachers were more then happy to sell out their souls and flocks to be on the "winning" side of one pseudo Marxist politician or another. Their flocks may complain, but when explained that they would be on the "winning" side, their flocks were ever so quick to reject Christ in hopes for earthly power. Even our Holy Orthodox (Russian Orthodox) churches are scandalously liberalized in America.

The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama. His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America's short history but in the world. If this keeps up for more than another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America at best will resemble the Wiemar Republic and at worst Zimbabwe.

These past two weeks have been the most breath taking of all. First came the announcement of a planned redesign of the American Byzantine tax system, by the very thieves who used it to bankroll their thefts, loses and swindles of hundreds of billions of dollars. These make our Russian oligarchs look little more than ordinary street thugs, in comparison. Yes, the Americans have beat our own thieves in the shear volumes. Should we congratulate them?

These men, of course, are not an elected panel but made up of appointees picked from the very financial oligarchs and their henchmen who are now gorging themselves on trillions of American dollars, in one bailout after another. They are also usurping the rights, duties and powers of the American congress (parliament). Again, congress has put up little more then a whimper to their masters.

Then came Barack Obama's command that GM's (General Motor) president step down from leadership of his company. That is correct, dear reader, in the land of "pure" free markets, the American president now has the power, the self given power, to fire CEOs and we can assume other employees of private companies, at will. Come hither, go dither, the centurion commands his minions.

So it should be no surprise that the American president has followed this up with a "bold" move of declaring that he and another group of unelected, chosen stooges will now redesign the entire automotive industry and will even be the guarantee of automobile policies. I am sure that if given the chance, they would happily try and redesign it for the whole of the world, too. Prime Minister Putin, less then two months ago, warned Obama and UK's Blair, not to follow the path to Marxism, it only leads to disaster. Apparently, even though we suffered 70 years of this Western sponsored horror show, we know nothing, as foolish, drunken Russians, so let our "wise" Anglo-Saxon fools find out the folly of their own pride.

Again, the American public has taken this with barely a whimper...but a "freeman" whimper.

So, should it be any surprise to discover that the Democratically controlled Congress of America is working on passing a new regulation that would give the American Treasury department the power to set "fair" maximum salaries, evaluate performance and control how private companies give out pay raises and bonuses? Senator Barney Franks, a social pervert basking in his homosexuality (of course, amongst the modern, enlightened American societal norm, as well as that of the general West, homosexuality is not only not a looked down upon life choice, but is often praised as a virtue) and his Marxist enlightenment, has led this effort. He stresses that this only affects companies that receive government monies, but it is retroactive and taken to a logical extreme, this would include any company or industry that has ever received a tax break or incentive.

The Russian owners of American companies and industries should look thoughtfully at this and the option of closing their facilities down and fleeing the land of the Red as fast as possible. In other words, divest while there is still value left.

The proud American will go down into his slavery with out a fight, beating his chest and proclaiming to the world, how free he really is. The world will only snicker.

Stanislav Mishin

Praise report

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Sat, 02 May 2009 13:22:00 +0000

Glory be to the living God !! Yesterday my landlord informed me that he wanted us out ASAP. Understand, our landlord is a good man, he just can no longer carry us. Since I've not had a steady job in 8 months we've always been behind in rent. He has never charged us a late fee and always tried to work with us. I could tell when he called he was at the end of his financial rope as well. I could feel this coming, so over the last few weeks we had been praying for a miracle from God to somehow meet our needs in this area. With each passing day nothing changed. I knew that if there was not some kind of divine intervention that we were going to be living in the street.

After my conversation with our landlord I will be totally honest here, I truly felt totally abounded by God. I thought to myself, "this is great! Where are you God? You're WORD promises to take care of us... well?" After about an hour of feeling sorry for myself I settled down. I knew somehow God would take care of us.

About 2 hours later my landlord called back. He informed me that if we could come up with something that he would work with us still. Prior to this our landlord only took full payments for rent, now he was will to take partial payments. There is no other explanation, God touched our landlords heart.

Thank you God !!! You have never failed us, even in our darkest hours YOU have always been there. I want to thank you and praise your HOLY NAME for protection and blessings in my life.

Psalm 30

1 I will exalt you, O LORD,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.

2 O LORD my God, I called to you for help
and you healed me.

3 O LORD, you brought me up from the grave;
you spared me from going down into the pit.

4 Sing to the LORD, you saints of his;
praise his holy name.

5 For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

6 When I felt secure, I said,
"I will never be shaken."

7 O LORD, when you favored me,
you made my mountain stand firm;
but when you hid your face,
I was dismayed.

8 To you, O LORD, I called;
to the Lord I cried for mercy:

9 "What gain is there in my destruction,
in my going down into the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?

10 Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me;
O LORD, be my help."

11 You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

12 that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

May God bless and keep you always,
Tim

On the road

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:36:00 +0000

I have just returned from Salt Lake Cit, Utah. This was my second trip out in search of employment. Prior to going out this time I had been in contact with the HR department of a pretty big financial institution concerning an IT position with their firm. I was scheduled for an interview on a Wednesday. I had a 50% off bus pass for Greyhound so I was able to go out there for about $80.00. Not bad considering it’s about a 2000 mile trip. The bus schedule had me arriving in Salt Lake one day before my interview. At this point everything seems to be coming together easily. The way it was all coming together I truly felt God’s hand was in it and that this is the direction He wanted me to go in. So I take the step.

The trip goes along as scheduled until we stop for about a 2 hour layover in St Louis, Mo. After the layover there, we head out on the bus. We get about 20 miles down the road and the bus breaks down. I wasn’t concerned at this point. I’ve always felt that everything happens for a reason. Like God’s and steering you in the directions He wants you to go. After about what turns out to be a 4 hours we are headed down that highway again. My next reconnecting bus is in Denver and there is only a one hour window to catch that connecting bus to Salt Lake City. I’m thinking to myself, well maybe the driver can make up a little time along the way. I start praying that the connecting bus is Denver is late or at least they will wait for us. Not a chance! My bus arrives in Denver 4 hours late. The bus to Salt Lake City… gone. The next bus to Salt Lake City was not going out until the next morning at 8:30am. This means I will not be able to make my scheduled interview.

The next day as we are traveling to Salt Lake City at one of the stops for a break I called the HR department and told them what had happened. I was informed that this was the last day of their interviewing process and if I didn’t make the appointment time that I would not be asked to come in another day, at least until they are hiring again.
I was pretty bummed out. I truly felt in my heart that God had placed this job in my lap for me to follow up on.
After a couple of hours of feeling sorry for myself I began to look more at the big picture. I thought, will maybe that wasn’t the job God had for me there, maybe that was just the bait to get me moving in the right direction.

I arrive in Salt Lake City about 24 hours from the time I was supposed to arrive. My brother in law was there at the bus station to pick me up. His wife and him had offered a place for me to stay while I was there looking for work. This was a very generous offer and I will forever be in there gratitude for allowing me to stay there.

I won’t bore you with the rest of the details of my trip, only the part about the trip that God used me for from the beginning.

It’s now 3 weeks later; I’m sitting in the bus station at Salt Lake City waiting for my scheduled departure time to go back to Savannah. As I’m sitting there, looking around at all the people I notice a young black man in his early 20’s (turned out to be 21) talking with some other men. Seemed they all kinda knew each the way they were joking around and talking. As they were talking I could hear the young man talking about how he was going home after failing a drivers test or something. I also heard him talking about this book called “The Secret”. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s about what the author calls one of the natural laws in our universe. This law has to do with magnetism, and how if you think the right way all of you’re hopes and desires will come true. This idea has been bought and sold down through the ages in so many different disguises it’s not funny. Anyway… moving along.

There were allot of people already in line for the bus heading east that I was going to be riding. So by the time I got on the bus it was packed. In fact there was only one seat left, the seat sitting next to that young man I told you about earlier. I stopped and looked down at him and asked if I could sit there, he nodded his head yes, and this is where the real story starts.

After a few miles down the road I introduced myself. He told me his name was Tony and that he was from West Virginia. I asked how he was doing; he said he had been better. I could tell that he was really troubled despite the outward appearance of being carefree he displayed in the bus station. He began to tell me how he had been accepted to attend this truck driving school there in Salt Lake. He said after 3 days of classroom study they had them all go down and take the commercial driving general knowledge test. After just a couple of days to study it’s pretty hard to pass this test. Tony failed the test along with about 3 other guys. So now he was on the bus with me and on his way home. After telling me this Tony began to really open up. His frustration with life to this point was all coming out. For the next 2 or 3 hours I was drilled with questions about life. His questions mainly pertained to why he has failed so much in life to this point, not matter how hard he tries. I could tell he had a good heart and was really searching for answers. I asked him where God was in his life. I figured that if he was reading books like “The Secret”, he must have wondered from the truth. He said he was raised a Christian but had not been to church in years. This is where I let go and let the Holy Spirit take over and drive. I was fortunate to have to very important books with me on the bus. The Bible of course being one, the other book I had with me is called “The Hole in our Gospel” by Richard Stearns. Richard Stearns is the president of World Vision. I don’t have enough paper to go into details about the book here. I can tell you that it is one amazing book that speaks the truth about the gospel that is being taught or not taught today.

Over the next 2 days I was able to share allot of scripture with Tony. I know it was only two days with this young man, but I truly believe God’s Spirit filled this young mans heart. On the last day of the trip that we were together a homeless man had got on the bus. He brought a big duffle bag on the bus with him that looked like it had all of his worldly possessions in it. At one point he pulled out a piece of cake that clearly had been taken from a trash can somewhere. Seeing the homeless man brought more questions from Tony about God and where God is in the homeless mans life. I’m so thankful that our Lord Jesus Christ was not afraid to hang out with people like the homeless man we saw. It sure makes it easy to be able to use Christ as the example on how to treat the less fortunate. As we were talking about this man at one point Tony even had to wipe a tear or two away. I knew at that point that HIS love was in Tony’s heart.

Before we parted ways we exchanged phone numbers and email addys. We hugged and said our goodbyes. As I watched Tony get on the bus I said a prayer for him. I prayed that what God had started in that young mans heart… He would finish. I have no doubt He well. His word promises that fact!

It’s been about 3 days since I’ve been home and today I got a call from Tony. I was so happy to hear from him. He told me that he had been reading both the Bible and the book I gave him (I gave him the book “The Hole in Our Gospel). In fact, he said his mother started reading it as well and loved it so far. He is still looking for a job, but he knows now that God is in control and has a purpose for his life. Thank you Lord !!

I know this has been a long one, but it’s something I felt important to share. If you are open to Gods will and purpose for your life… HE can use you anywhere. Look for the broken hearted… the lost… the confused… the seekers… the less fortunate. You’ll find them everywhere and they need to hear the good news. Plant the seed and let the Holy Spirit work His magic.

May God bless and keep you always,
Tim

Your help is needed

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 00:34:00 +0000

Greetings !!

Hope everyone is doing well.

I have a huge favor to ask. My sister-in-law (Her name is Becky) had a biopsy done on her stomach this week. They want to make sure she does not have stomach cancer. They will not get the results for 7 to 10 days. In this time I’d like to ask that we lift her up in prayer. Pray that the results come back negative and that God will get the glory. I’ve seen firsthand God’s healing work on another cancer victim last year. That person is still cancer free.

Thank you ahead of time for your thoughts and prayers. May God bless and keep you always.

Love,
Tim

Malachi 3:3

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 13:23:00 +0000

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining
Silver..

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

I don't know about you, but sometimes it sure feels like I'm in the fire way to long... LOL !!

Thank you LORD GOD for never giving up on me.

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF KEVIN CARTER

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 13:40:00 +0000

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF KEVIN CARTER Visiting Sudan, a little-known photographer took a picture that made the world weep. What happened afterward is a tragedy of another sort.

BY SCOTT MACLEOD/JOHANNESBURG

The image presaged no celebration: a child barely alive, a vulture so eager for carrion. Yet the photograph that epitomized Sudan's famine would win Kevin Carter fame - and hopes for anchoring a career spent hounding the news, free-lancing in war zones, waiting anxiously for assignments amid dire finances, staying in the line of fire for that one great picture. On May 23, 14 months after capturing that memorable scene, Carter walked up to the dais in the classical rotunda of Columbia University's Low Memorial Library and received the Pulitzer Prize for feature photography. The South African soaked up the attention. "I swear I got the most applause of anybody," Carter wrote back to his parents in Johannesburg. "I can't wait to show you the trophy. It is the most precious thing, and the highest acknowledgment of my work I could receive."

Carter was feted at some of the most fashionable spots in New York City. Restaurant patrons, overhearing his claim to fame, would come up and ask for his autograph. Photo editors at the major magazines wanted to meet the new hotshot, dressed in his black jeans and T shirts, with the tribal bracelets and diamond-stud earring, with the war-weary eyes and tales from the front lines of Nelson Mandela's new South Africa. Carter signed with Sygma, a prestigious picture agency representing 200 of the world's best photojournalists. "It can be a very glamorous business," says Sygma's U.S. director, Eliane Laffont. "It's very hard to make it, but Kevin is one of the few who really broke through. The pretty girls were falling for him, and everybody wanted to hear what he had to say."

There would be little time for that. Two months after receiving his Pulitzer, Carter would be dead of carbon-monoxide poisoning in Johannesburg, a suicide at 33. His red pickup truck was parked near a small river where he used to play as a child; a green garden hose attached to the vehicle's exhaust funneled the fumes inside. "I'm really, really sorry," he explained in a note left on the passenger seat beneath a knapsack. "The pain of life overrides the joy to the point that joy does not exist."

How could a man who had moved so many people with his work end up a suicide so soon after his great triumph? The brief obituaries that appeared around the world suggested a morality tale about a person undone by the curse of fame. The details, however, show how fame was only the final, dramatic sting of a death foretold by Carter's personality, the pressure to be first where the action is, the fear that his pictures were never good enough, the existential lucidity that came to him from surviving violence again and again - and the drugs he used to banish that lucidity. If there is a paramount lesson to be drawn from Carter's meteoric rise and fall, it is that tragedy does not always have heroic dimensions. "I have always had it all at my feet," read the last words of his suicide note, "but being me just fit up anyway."

First, there was history. Kevin Carter was born in 1960, the year Nelson Mandela's African National Congress was outlawed. Descended from English immigrants, Carter was not part of the Afrikaner mainstream that ruled the country. Indeed, its ideology appalled him. Yet he was caught up in its historic misadventure.

His devoutly Roman Catholic parents, Jimmy and Roma, lived in Parkmore, a tree-lined Johannesburg suburb - and they accepted apartheid. Kevin, however, like many of his generation, soon began to question it openly. "The police used to go around arresting black people for not carrying their passes," his mother recalls. "They used to treat them very badly, and we felt unable to do anything about it. But Kevin got very angry about it. He used to have arguments with his father. "Why couldn't we do something about it? Why didn't we go shout at those police?' "

Though Carter insisted he loved his parents, he told his closest friends his childhood was unhappy. As a teenager, he found his thrills riding motorcycles and fantasized about becoming a race-car driver. After graduating from a Catholic boarding school in Pretoria in 1976, Carter studied pharmacy before dropping out with bad grades a year later. Without a student deferment, he was conscripted into the South African Defense Force, where he found upholding the apartheid regime loathsome. Once, after he took the side of a black mess-hall waiter, some Afrikaans-speaking soldiers called him a kaffir-boetie ("nigger lover") and beat him up. In 1980 Carter went absent without leave, rode a motorcycle to Durban and, calling himself David, became a disk jockey. He longed to see his family but felt too ashamed to return. One day after he lost his job, he swallowed scores of sleeping pills, pain-killers and rat poison. He survived. He returned to the S.A.D.F. to finish his service and was injured in 1983 while on guard duty at air force headquarters in Pretoria. A bomb attributed to the A.N.C. had exploded, killing 19 people. After leaving the service, Carter got a job at a camera supply shop and drifted into journalism, first as a weekend sports photographer for the Johannesburg Sunday Express. When riots began sweeping the black townships in 1984, Carter moved to the Johannesburg Star and aligned himself with the crop of young, white photojournalists who wanted to expose the brutality of apartheid - a mission that had once been the almost exclusive calling of South Africa's black photographers. "They put themselves in face of danger, were arrested numerous times, but never quit. They literally were willing to sacrifice themselves for what they believed in," says American photojournalist James Nachtwey, who frequently worked with Carter and his friends. By 1990, civil war was raging between Mandela's A.N.C. and the Zulu-supported Inkatha Freedom Party. For whites, it became potentially fatal to work the townships alone. To diminish the dangers, Carter hooked up with three friends - Ken Oosterbroek of the Star and free-lancers Greg Marinovich and Joao Silva - and they began moving through Soweto and Tokoza at dawn. If a murderous gang was going to shoot up a bus, throw someone off a train or cut up somebody on the street, it was most likely to happen as township dwellers began their journeys to work in the soft, shadowy light of an African morning. The four became so well known for capturing the violence that Living, a Johannesburg magazine, dubbed them "the Bang-Bang Club."

Even with the teamwork, however, cruising the townships was often a perilous affair. Well-armed government security forces used excessive firepower. The chaotic hand-to-hand street fighting between black factions involved AK-47s, spears and axes. "At a funeral some mourners caught one guy, hacked him, shot him, ran over him with a car and set him on fire," says Silva, describing a typical encounter. "My first photo showed this guy on the ground as the crowd told him they were going to kill him. We were lucky to get away."

Sometimes it took more than a camera and camaraderie to get through the work. Marijuana, known locally as dagga, is widely available in South Africa. Carter and many other photojournalists smoked it habitually in the townships, partly to relieve tension and partly to bond with gun-toting street warriors. Although he denied it, Carter, like many hard-core dagga users, moved on to something more dangerous: smoking the "white pipe," a mixture of dagga and Mandrax, a banned tranquilizer containing methaqualone. It provides an intense, immediate kick and then allows the user to mellow out for an hour or two.

By 1991, working on the dawn patrol had paid off for one of the Bang-Bang Club. Marinovich won a Pulitzer for his September 1990 photographs of a Zulu being stabbed to death by A.N.C. supporters. That prize raised the stakes for the rest of the club - especially Carter. And for Carter other comparisons cropped up. Though Oosterbroek was his best friend, they were, according to Nachtwey, "like the polarities of personality types. Ken was the successful photographer with the loving wife. His life was in order." Carter had bounced from romance to romance, fathering a daughter out of wedlock. In 1993 Carter headed north of the border with Silva to photograph the rebel movement in famine-stricken Sudan. To make the trip, Carter had taken a leave from the Weekly Mail and borrowed money for the air fare. Immediately after their plane touched down in the village of Ayod, Carter began snapping photos of famine victims. Seeking relief from the sight of masses of people starving to death, he wandered into the open bush. He heard a soft, high-pitched whimpering and saw a tiny girl trying to make her way to the feeding center. As he crouched to photograph her, a vulture landed in view. Careful not to disturb the bird, he positioned himself for the best possible image. He would later say he waited about 20 minutes, hoping the vulture would spread its wings. It did not, and after he took his photographs, he chased the bird away and watched as the little girl resumed her struggle. Afterward he sat under a tree, lit a cigarette, talked to God and cried. "He was depressed afterward," Silva recalls. "He kept saying he wanted to hug his daughter."

After another day in Sudan, Carter returned to Johannesburg. Coincidentally, the New York Times, which was looking for pictures of Sudan, bought his photograph and ran it on March 26, 1993. The picture immediately became an icon of Africa's anguish. Hundreds of people wrote and called the Times asking what had happened to the child (the paper reported that it was not known whether she reached the feeding center); and papers around the world reproduced the photo. Friends and colleagues complimented Carter on his feat. His self-confidence climbed.

Carter quit the Weekly Mail and became a free-lance photojournalist - an alluring but financially risky way of making a living, providing no job security, no health insurance and no death benefits. He eventually signed up with the Reuter news agency for a guarantee of roughly $2,000 a month and began to lay plans for covering his country's first multiracial elections in April. The next few weeks, however, would bring depression and self-doubt, only momentarily interrupted by triumph.

The troubles started on March 11. Carter was covering the unsuccessful invasion of Bophuthatswana by white right-wing vigilantes intent on propping up a black homeland, a showcase of apartheid. Carter found himself just feet away from the summary execution of right-wingers by a black "Bop" policeman. "Lying in the middle of the gunfight," he said, "I was wondering about which millisecond next I was going to die, about putting something on film they could use as my last picture."

His pictures would eventually be splashed across front pages around the world, but he came away from the scene in a funk. First, there was the horror of having witnessed murder. Perhaps as importantly, while a few colleagues had framed the scene perfectly, Carter was reloading his camera with film just as the executions took place. "I knew I had missed this f--- shot," he said subsequently. "I drank a bottle of bourbon that night."

At the same time, he seemed to be stepping up his drug habit, including smoking the white pipe. A week after the Bop executions, he was seen staggering around while on assignment at a Mandela rally in Johannesburg. Later he crashed his car into a suburban house and was thrown in jail for 10 hours on suspicion of drunken driving. His superior at Reuter was furious at having to go to the police station to recover Carter's film of the Mandela event. Carter's girlfriend, Kathy Davidson, a schoolteacher, was even more upset. Drugs had become a growing issue in their one-year relationship. Over Easter, she asked Carter to move out until he cleaned up his life.

With only weeks to go before the elections, Carter's job at Reuter was shaky, his love life was in jeopardy and he was scrambling to find a new place to live. And then, on April 12, 1994, the New York Times phoned to tell him he had won the Pulitzer. As jubilant Times foreign picture editor Nancy Buirski gave him the news, Carter found himself rambling on about his personal problems. "Kevin!" she interrupted, "You've just won a Pulitzer! These things aren't going to be that important now."

Early on Monday, April 18, the Bang-Bang Club headed out to Tokoza township, 10 miles from downtown Johannesburg, to cover an outbreak of violence. Shortly before noon, with the sun too bright for taking good pictures, Carter returned to the city. Then on the radio he heard that his best friend, Oosterbroek, had been killed in Tokoza. Marinovich had been gravely wounded. Oosterbroek's death devastated Carter, and he returned to work in Tokoza the next day, even though the violence had escalated. He later told friends that he and not Ken "should have taken the bullet."

New York was a respite. By all accounts, Carter made the most of his first visit to Manhattan. The Times flew him in and put him up at the Marriott Marquis just off Times Square. His spirits soaring, he took to calling New York "my town."

With the Pulitzer, however, he had to deal not only with acclaim but also with the critical focus that comes with fame. Some journalists in South Africa called his prize a "fluke," alleging that he had somehow set up the tableau. Others questioned his ethics. "The man adjusting his lens to take just the right frame of her suffering," said the St. Petersburg (Florida) Times, "might just as well be a predator, another vulture on the scene." Even some of Carter's friends wondered aloud why he had not helped the girl.

Carter was painfully aware of the photojournalist's dilemma. "I had to think visually," he said once, describing a shoot-out. "I am zooming in on a tight shot of the dead guy and a splash of red. Going into his khaki uniform in a pool of blood in the sand. The dead man's face is slightly gray. You are making a visual here. But inside something is screaming, "My God.' But it is time to work. Deal with the rest later. If you can't do it, get out of the game." Says Nachtwey, "Every photographer who has been involved in these stories has been affected. You become changed forever. Nobody does this kind of work to make themselves feel good. It is very hard to continue."

Carter did not look forward to going home. Summer was just beginning in New York, but late June was still winter in South Africa, and Carter became depressed almost as soon as he got off the plane. "Joburg is dry and brown and cold and dead, and so damn full of bad memories and absent friends," he wrote in a letter never mailed to a friend, Esquire picture editor Marianne Butler in New York.

Nevertheless, Carter carefully listed story ideas and faxed some of them off to Sygma. Work did not proceed smoothly. Though it was not his fault, Carter felt guilty when a bureaucratic foul-up caused the cancellation of an interview by a writer from Parade magazine, a Sygma client, with Mandela in Cape Town. Then came an even more unpleasant experience. Sygma told Carter to stay in Cape Town and cover French President Francois Mitterrand's state visit to South Africa. The story was spot news, but according to editors at Sygma's Paris office, Carter shipped his film too late to be of use. In any case, they complained, the quality of the photos was too poor to offer to Sygma's clients.

According to friends, Carter began talking openly about suicide. Part of his anxiety was over the Mitterrand assignment. But mostly he seemed worried about money and making ends meet. When an assignment in Mozambique for TIME came his way, he eagerly accepted. Despite setting three alarm clocks to make his early-morning flight on July 20, he missed the plane. Furthermore, after six days in Mozambique, he walked off his return flight to Johannesburg, leaving a package of undeveloped film on his seat. He realized his mistake when he arrived at a friend's house. He raced back to the airport but failed to turn up anything. Carter was distraught and returned to the friend's house in the morning, threatening to smoke a white pipe and gas himself to death.

Carter and a friend, Judith Matloff, 36, an American correspondent for Reuter, dined on Mozambican prawns he had brought back. He was apparently too ashamed to tell her about the lost film. Instead they discussed their futures. Carter proposed forming a writer-photographer free-lance team and traveling Africa together.

On the morning of Wednesday, July 27, the last day of his life, Carter appeared cheerful. He remained in bed until nearly noon and then went to drop off a picture that had been requested by the Weekly Mail. In the paper's newsroom, he poured out his anguish to former colleagues, one of whom gave him the number of a therapist and urged him to phone her.

The last person to see Carter alive, it seems, was Oosterbroek's widow, Monica. As night fell, Carter turned up unannounced at her home to vent his troubles. Still recovering from her husband's death three months earlier, she was in little condition to offer counsel. They parted at about 5:30 p.m.

The Braamfonteinspruit is a small river that cuts southward through Johannesburg's northern suburbs - and through Parkmore, where the Carters once lived. At around 9 p.m., Kevin Carter backed his red Nissan pickup truck against a blue gum tree at the Field and Study Center. He had played there often as a little boy. The Sandton Bird Club was having its monthly meeting there, but nobody saw Carter as he used silver gaffer tape to attach a garden hose to the exhaust pipe and run it to the passenger-side window. Wearing unwashed Lee jeans and an Esquire T shirt, he got in and switched on the engine. Then he put music on his Walkman and lay over on his side, using the knapsack as a pillow.

The suicide note he left behind is a litany of nightmares and dark visions, a clutching attempt at autobiography, self-analysis, explanation, excuse. After coming home from New York, he wrote, he was "depressed . . . without phone . . . money for rent . . . money for child support . . . money for debts . . . money!!! . . . I am haunted by the vivid memories of killings & corpses & anger & pain . . . of starving or wounded children, of trigger-happy madmen, often police, of killer executioners . . . " And then this: "I have gone to join Ken if I am that lucky."

Life update for 02/12/09

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:03:00 +0000

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted here. So many things have happened, so many things have changed but yet many things are the same. I'm still in Savannah Georgia. Although back in Sept I did make an attempt to find a job in Salt Lake City, Utah. Since I'm in the IT field Salt Lake is one of the hot spots for the IT industry. In life timing is everything, and unfortunately my timing to go out there and look for a job was off. 3 days after arriving in Salt Lake the stock market started it's downward spiral and the job market doors shut. I was staying with family there, but with the doors closing I figured I better get back home to take care of my family there. Since then I have been doing odd contract jobs with different companies. Mainly IT consulting stuff. I have also been working part time for a local computer repair shop here in Savannah. Even though it's part time the money really helps. Still behind a couple of months on rent. But we have a wonderful landlord who is so understanding (God bless him).

Things are looking up though. Around the first of January I was contacted by this head hunter company about a local job here in Savannah servicing Dell computers. At first I was told I was perfect for the job. Then they said sorry but they needed someone with A+ certification (which I never got). I've always found the certification stuff kinda silly. I have over 10 years of experience in this field but because I don't have a piece of paper I'm not qualified. Anyway, about 3 weeks go by and I get an email from this same company for the same position. Seems now the company is willing to count the experience as good as having the cert. After a couple of more weeks of back n forth emails I was accepted for the position. Last Friday I took the drug test which they should have gotten the results back from like the next day. Due to some kind of mix up I won't find out till today. I already passed all the Dell tests, so soon as they get the results back I can start working (Thank you Lord)

To be honest my spiritual side of life has been as dry as my job search. I know God is there and is very concerned with every aspect of my life. But I've just been dry in that area. It's not HIM, it's me. I've just been so focused with finding work, trying to take care of the bills that I've put HIM on the back burner. As we all know, that is the opposite of the way it should be. This last week it's been hitting me hard how backwards I have it. So every day I've been starting in prayer time with HIM. I can feel the difference already. I don't know why we as humans tend to rely on our on so much. It never works out and in our heart of hearts we know better.

Better stop for now. I'll post here how the job thing along with my walk with the LORD.

May God bless you and keep you always..
Love,
Tim

Job

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 00:18:00 +0000

Greetings!

Life update here!!I quit my job today!!! Seems the USPS is changing up our route schedules. The economy is affecting even the USPS. The schedule that I already run has me working anywhere from 3:00am till 8:00pm. During those hours I only get paid for 6 to 7 hours a day. Since its contract work I only get paid for the actual pickup and delivery of the mail. Once we deliver on the other end (about 80 miles one way) we have to wait all day for the mail to come back in and then we bring that back to the apex here in Pooler (I run from Pooler to Hilton Head Island). Now there are a couple of days a week where I can come home for about 4 hours in the middle of the day. That's not bad, except for the gas to drive back and forth. This goes on 7 days a week in which I work 6 of them. I get the word today that they are cutting a couple of trips and requiring us to stay at the other end all day. No more coming home a couple of days out of the week. Hours will be cut from about 36 to 30. If I counted all the hours that I'm actually out on the job, it adds up to about 80 hours in a 6 day work week, and get paid for only 30… I don't think so!!!!

So once again... if you could keep me in your prayers concerning employment I would really appreciate it. Thank you and God bless.
I'm outta here!!
Peace out!
Tim~

My son

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Sun, 11 May 2008 02:10:00 +0000

I miss my son Brett Ryan Moore so much. It's been 10 years since he passed away and I miss him just as much.

I love you Brett... Miss you so much my son.

Life update

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Thu, 01 May 2008 15:56:00 +0000

To my family and friends,

Just wanted to let you all know that at the end of May I'll be going to Springfield, Missouri to get my CDL. There is a trucking company there that trains you for free as long as you drive for them for one year. I gave up my CDL about 8 years ago, never thought I'd be going back to it. The money is actually really good now in the trucking industry. The trucks have microwaves, refrigerators, you can even get email right in the cab via satellite technology. I'll be gone a couple of weeks at a time from home, but I'm never home now, and the pay is allot less. The company has great benefits as well. There just isn't any tech jobs here in the Savannah area, and I've been out of the industry far to long to ever get hired again. So, I'm going back to what I was always very good at. Reminds me of something John Lennon wrote in a song "Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making plans".

I've been praying about this allot for a while now. Things that have happened in my life over the last year keeps pointing me to this decision. I'm keeping my options open, so please keep me in your prayers that this is the direction the Lord wants me to take. I have a real gift for reaching out to people out in the world. I used to minister to people all the time when I was driving before. The CB is a great tool for getting the good news out there. I used to think that the Lord wanted me to Pastor one of His churches, but as time has gone by, I think my calling is ministering to those out in the world.

Thanks for taking the time listen, it is my hope and prayer that the good Lord will keep you all safe and well.

Peace and love,
Tim~

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 22:13:00 +0000

Hello my dear family and friends,

Wow!! It's been forever since I last posted here. I've just been so busy with work and all. I so wish I had more time to work on my blogs. I miss sharing my thoughts and feelings here, especially when it concerns what the Lord is doing. Hope you all are doing well. Below here is something I found the other day, thought it's worth sharing. May God keep you all safe and well.

Peace,
Tim

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake." "Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her daughter. "How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!" "Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!" To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

I'm back!!!

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 23:49:00 +0000

My dear family and friends,

Guess who?? yup, it's me... I'm back from my 40 years (what felt like 40 years) in the desert. God has stirred my heart to start writing in my blogs again. This blog is one I wish I didn't have to post. A dear friend of mine is in need of our prayers. Her daughter was in a car accident the other night and she was pretty badly hurt. The text below is from the email I got from her.

Dear Everyone,

I need your prayers and those of anyone you know.

Two nights ago, my daughter, Arielle, was in a very serious car accident. The car rolled over and she was thrown from the car and into a split rail fence.

As of right now she's in critical condition at Denver General Hospital. She had emergency surgery on Tuesday night because she has an 11 inch laceration (about 4 inches deep) that runs from the base of her neck around to her back. She had a compound fracture of her clavicle, which they operated on today and put a plate and screws in. The break was a bad one and there was a lot of damage to the soft tissue around it and it was highly contaminated. She'll go back into surgery the day after tomorrow to clean it out and make sure there is no sign of infection. She broke her scapula and one rib. The most serious of her injuries is a severely broken pelvis. She goes into surgery tomorrow so that they can put in screws and plates. At this point all the doctors can tell me is that she could need two more or twenty more surgeries. She's looking at a year of recovery and rehabilitation.

Please pray for her. Right now she's intubated and heavily sedated. She is also on the verge of pneumonia and is running a slight temp.

Peace,
Elaine

If you'd like to send an email of support... Elaine's email is elaine.bonnell@comcast.net

Thank you for your prayers. Hope everyone is doing well. May God keep you all safe and well.

Your friend,
Tim~

Prayer request

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:56:00 +0000

Hello my dear family and friends,

I'm posting another prayer request from my dear brother in N.Y. His son (My nephew) is facing his last chemo treatment in about a week. But my brothers email is also about 2 young boys in the same cancer ward where they go. Please lift them up in prayer. We serve a MIGHTY God who is able to meet our needs.

Greetings to all;

My wife and I were in the Syracuse Hospital yesterday visiting Bobby Ostman which found out they he will have to stay hospitalized for another month. They want to make sure the infection does not come back to his leg. Bobby has already been in the hospital for the past 2 1/2 weeks and has undergone 2 operations to save his leg. Please pray for the infection to stay out of his leg and pray for strength for him as he will under go 3 more rounds of Chemotherapy in the next few weeks. He will start a round today. Bobby has been really down , but Chris and I had him smiling and joking last night. It was so good to see him smile. The real reason I am writing is because I found out last night that a young man named Jonathan which is 6 years old and has recently had a bone marrow transplant is not doing well at all. We have roomed with Jonathan and his grandmother (Wanita) many times in Syracuse ,and I can tell you by my experience that they have had one of the most difficult situations. As I said Jonathan is 6 years old and has leukemia. He has been in remission 3 times and it has came back worse each time. He under went a bone marrow transplant over a month ago in Rochester . He was doing well until a week ago. Chris spoke to Wanita last night and Jonathan is in a Coma and is in Guarded condition. His grand mother ask us to ask for prayers for him. Please lift him and his grandmother up and for the Lord . I have a had a wonderful verse on my heart lately and it just keeps coming back through different situations. It is Jer. 29:11-12 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. "

I will keep you all posted on these children and there Families and there situations. Our Son Billy had to be rushed to Syracuse this past Saturday as he had a nose bleed that would not clot. We did get it taken care of and he is back home. Please also pray for our Son Billy as he will under go his 14th and final round of Chemotherapy (Praise God) on Friday Feb.1- 6.. He will get Chemotherapy for 5 days and should be home by the 6th. He will need to be back in Syracuse every other day after treatment for at least two weeks. His doctor did say it will take over a year for Billy to bounce back from his treatment, but we are so thankful to the Lord for getting us this far. God has been so good to us. I personally want to thank each one of you for your thoughts and prayers for my Son and my family and all those families in the cancer ward that we try to be a light to. God bless you and thank you.

In Christ
Pastor Bill Lower
wlower@aol.com

Thank you all for taking the time to read this blog. May the good Lord keep you all safe and well.

Your brother,
Tim

Prayer request

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 01:52:00 +0000

Greetings friends and family,

I'm still working way to many hours, but it sure beats not working. I got another email from my brother in N.Y. He always tells me stories of these families in the cancer ward where his son gets treatment. Shares with me stories of courage, pain, miracles from God and of course, love. He sent me a special request about a certain family there that has suffered many tragedies over the last year or so, and their not done yet. Please take a moment to read his email, and if you would include the mentioned family in your prayers. As always, even though I'm not on here much, you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace to you and your,Tim

"Hello Everyone

I have a prayer request for a young man that has roomed with my Son in the Hospital. His name is Bobby Otsman. Our family has become close with Bobby over the last 9 months. Billy and him room together when ever they are in the hospital. They were both in the Hospital last Monday and Tuesday as Billy under went his 13th round of Chemotherapy treatment. Bobby had a fever when he came in Monday and the doctors thought it was a virus. I received a call yesterday evening that Bobby had a serve infection in his leg (which had been rebuild because he had cancer in his tibia) and they had to take him to emergency surgery to clean out the infection and possibly remove his leg if the infection had gone to the bone. I ask you to pray for Bobby and his family. Bobby is tried just like our son Billy. They both are so close to the end of there treatments ,but they are also the hardest times as well, because the Chemotherapy has accumulated over the all the treatments. My wife and I went up last night to support Bobby and His mother. We had to leave late last night before his surgery to get home to our son Billy ,but I did get a call last night from Bobby's mother that all had gone well, but they will need to do more surgery Monday. They still do not know if they will have to take his leg. I ask you all to pray that the Lord would intervene and if it is his will , that Bobby would keep his leg. Please also pray for comfort as he is in a lot of pain. Pray for his mother (Shirley) as well as she has 4 younger children at home to take care of. She lost her husband last year unexpectedly ,so she is a widow in need. Bobby and his family are believers and his youth pastor was with him last night , so if everyone could lift our brother Bobby up to the Lord I and his family would graciously appreciate it.If everyone could please have as many people pray for this family , it would mean so much to them . I will keep you all posted on his situation and progress. Blessings to you all.

In Christ.
Bill Lower"

Update for Billy

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 00:17:00 +0000

Greetings my dear family and friends,

I wanted to pass along an update about my nephew. I talked with my brother today and he said that Billy (my nephew) is doing ok, but he is really sick of the chemo. On their last trip to the hospital Billy told his dad and the doctor that he didn't want to do anymore treatments. This was his 12th treatment and it was going to last a week. He only has a couple more to go through, but he is so sick of being sick all the time. He finally agreed that to finish the treatments would be best (along with a little loving push from his father). My brother and his family have been so drained through all of this. I can hear it in his voice, and this saddens my heart to know end. My brother is the Pastor of a local Baptist church there, and he knows that God is in control even in the darkest of times. The congregation at the church has been so supportive through all of this. He always goes on and on about how they have all stepped up and helped in one way or another.

I'm on my knee's asking all of you to lift my brother and his family up in prayer. Pray that God will continue healing young billy (he is 15), and that the cancer will never return. Also pray that God will give my brother and his family the strength to see this through. There is nothing more life draining than watching your child suffer, I know. They are almost at the end of the treatments... Dear Lord God, please be with my brother and his family. I know God you are with them... please fill their hearts with your peace.

Thank you all.
Love,Tim
http://www.theanchorholds.net/

Prayer update for Billy

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 13:12:00 +0000

I'm posting an email I received from my brother in upstate NY. He is a pastor there and still needs our prayers. Please take a moment and read what he has to say.

Greetings Everyone I know it has been a while since my last update on my Son Billy. Needless to say, all of our lives have been pretty much being in the hospital and waiting to go back. What I mean by that is that Billy treatment is every 9 days and in between the 9 days he has off , he goes back to the hospital twice at least for check ups and blood work or blood transfusions. Today we were back in for a Blood transfusion and for platelets. Billy has had a number of blood transfusions but today was the first time he needed platelets. As of today Billy has completed 8 hard chemo treatments with 6 more to do. He does go in for his 9th treatment if his counts are up and ready on Friday the Oct. 26. I would ask everyone to pray for the Lord to strengthen Billy as each treatment has become harder and harder. He has not bounced back as he had in the first few treatments. He is really vulnerable for infections. Chris and I have pretty much "locked Billy up" in his room to keep him away from people and sicknesses. He has not been to church in months but we do church at home. I can say that we as a family are tired. It has been real hard on my wife and I concerned for her. She is a strong women ,but she needs a break (prayer). I do stay with Billy while in the hospital on weekdays as my wife continues to work for the school district, but she still drives a hour up to see us and then drives home in the evening. Chris stays with Billy on weekends . No one (other than the Lord) can take care of their children like a mother. I do my best but God created mother with very special gifts. I do have some good news. We have only 6 treatments to go and after that our doctor tells us that Billy has a great future. He tells us he has a great prognosis. Also, out of his 6 treatments left 3 will be a hard 5 day treatment and 3 will be a mild 2 day. He will no longer have to do the 48 hour "Doxio" chemo. We thank the Lord for this as he was blistering on his hands and feet from the our his chemo. I have to say that Billy still has a positive outlook and is upbeat. He still likes to pick on his mother, but we have noticed changes in his personality. He has sudden "outburst" which is not like him at all. We talk to his doctor about this and he told us it is not only the Medicine but all the stress from all that he has gone through. But I want to let you all know I believe he has endured and handled this cancer/treatment better than I would have. I am so proud of him. He is a strong young man and I pray that the Lord would use this situation to grow Billy close to Him and to use his sickness to help others. Speaking of others, We have met some wonderful people up in Syracuse. The doctors/nurses are now family. I never knew how hard all these in this profession worked. Not only is the work hard but so stressful too. And then all the children and parents we have met. Every time we leave the cancer ward we leave half our hearts there. When we go up for check ups we go and check up on our friends. I want to all to know that Leon that we all prayed for is cancer free. He is home and is doing well. I want to thank you all for your prayers and Give God all the Glory. I have seen many miracles in the last 6 months. Many the doctors cant explain but I can. Please add Robbie, Jonathan and Chandra to your prayers. They are 5, 6 and 7 and are some of the strongest kids I have ever met. Bobby Ostsman 16 is doing much better , After almost loosing his leg after surgery he is doing well but still has some cancer left. He has 11 more treatments before he is finished. Bobby and his Mom are followers of Jesus Christ so we have become close over the last few months. Well I hope I have not taken too much of your time but It has been a while and I want everyone to know how we are doing. We are holding on to Gods word "That He will never leave us or forsake us" and I can tell you he has not. It is so true When we are weak then we are strong. I have never been stronger in my faith. He has been so faithful to us and I have seen so many prayers answered. Yes our life is hard and out of our control, but we know he is in control and we are thankful for that. I could not even imagine going through all this with out the Lord. I do not know how people with no faith no belief do it.Chris and I and Billy and Mariah want to thank each one of you for your continued prayers for us all. We want to also thank our Church WHCC. West Hill has been to good to us. We have a special group of people there. All the men that have helped and all the Ladies that have cooked us food or have given us gifts. What a Honor to be your Pastor and more importantly your brother and friend in Christ. Someday when we are all together in Heaven We will have the need time to tell you how grateful we are for you and your prayers for us. It will take years I am sure, but I am looking forward to it in the future. May God Bless you.Bill Lower.

I talked to my brother on the phone just the other day, he sounded good, but I could tell he is very fatigued. Please lift them all up in prayer. God is real and working in this family’s life big time... thank you ALMIGHTY GOD!!Peace to you all... and may the good Lord keep you safe and well.Tim

Tuesday Oct 23rd 2007

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 02:38:00 +0000

Greetings!!

Today was a busy day. I had two extra loads of mail to take out. They tell me as the holidays approach, this will only get worse... crazy kind of worse. The job is not that hard, but the hours are taking its toll on me. I'm taking tomorrow off. I need the day off to work on one of the surveillance jobs I have going. I'm also taking the day off to spend with the family. Suzzanne (my wife) has the day off, we don't see much of each other anymore. I never wanted to get to the point in my life where all I did is work... and look where I am. What do you do though, you gotta have the money to live and support your family. Oh well... enough bitching!!

I did see Transformers the movie over the weekend (for the 2nd time). Really entertaining!! Lots of action, with a really good story line. Suzzanne watched it, and she loved it. She usually does not like those kinds of movies, but she did this one. My son (Roscoe) and I had seen it when the movie came out in the theaters. This was one of those must see movies in the theater... crazy graphics.

I did have the chance to minister to a fellow co-worker today. She is a follower of Christ, but only for about 7 months now. Prior to that she knew about the Lord, and went to church on Sundays... kept the pews warm as they say, but she never made a commitment until this last year. She is truly a Godly woman. She had lots of questions for me, and I answered them the best I could. She is hungry for God, so good to see.

I also talked to my brother in Ithaca, NY. He is a pastor at a local church there. His life is really going crazy right now. He is the one with the son who is dealing with cancer. He is going through chemo right now and has about 6 treatments left. They have to travel to another town that is over an hour away. My brother also owns his own business... so he is being pulled from many different directions. Please lift his family up in prayer... for not only healing of their young son Billy, but that God would give the family the strength to get through all of this.

Enough for now.... Peace to you all. May God keep you safe and well,
Tim

Be careful what you pray for

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 16:43:00 +0000

Greetings family and friends...

I know it's been a while since I last posted anything... I'm sorry. The title of this blog is "Be careful what you pray for". I titled the blog that for this reason... As you all know, if you follow my blog, I was out of work for about 4 months. Well, I prayed, you prayed and many others from other postings I have that I would find a job. Well I did, or rather God found one for me. Now, I have more work than I can handle (Thank you God!!!). Things are getting better... big time!! One big help is our room mate. He is staying with us while recovering from an illness. He is better now, and working some again. He has a friend in the church who loaned him $1200.00 to help us get caught back up with rent. I want to publicly thank Doug and his friend for their friendship and faithfulness. Without their help we would be homeless!I'm working allot of hours, I mean allot!! So I don't have the time to spend that I would like writing here or other places. I will post when I can.

One last thing, our friend Doug has an older sister who just had a heart attack this morning. Her name is Barbara Pinkston. If you would lift her up in prayer, ask God to heal her. She has survived the attack so far, but she still is in the intensive care unit and has a long road of recovery ahead of her.

I hope and pray that you are all doing well. May God bless you and keep you safe and well.

Tim

I GOT A JOB !!!

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 23:22:00 +0000

Greetings all,

I want to take a moment and share with you all what God has done for me this day.

As allot of you know, I've been unemployed now for about 4 months. This last month I made an attempt to start a business with a good friend of mine, but nothing ever took off. Everything was coming down to the wire, rent was over due, utilities were coming up, water was due. Things were not going in our favor at all. Despite sending what must have been a hundred resumes out, I wasn't even getting a nibble on a job. I have to be honest with you, I was beginning to wonder if God had forgotten me. Even with all of your prayers, my families prayers and my prayers, I was not getting any kind of an answer. No other time in my life have I felt so alone in the desert. We've all been there, but this time was the longest for me, and the darkest. But, God being the faithful God that He is, has provided me with a job (Thank you oh merciful God). Last night I got a call from a dear friend who knew of our struggles. She was talking with her sister, and her sister informed her of a position that her husband knew of. The job is with a local trucking contractor who has a contract with the US Postal Service taking bulk mail from one location to another. Not that much driving really. The farthest point I drive to is like 40 miles away. You go between locations all day. Pay is almost twice as much as I was making at my previous job (thank you oh merciful God). I called the guy last night after I got off the phone with my friend. The guy was super nice and was really in need of some good help. He warned me that the hours were different from a 9 to 5 gig. I told him I didn't care what they were. So we met today over lunch (he paid... way cool ), and everything went well. We seemed to hit it off great. So he gave me all the papers to fill out. I have to go get finger printed at the Sheriffs office in the morning, that's no big deal. If I get all that into him tomorrow, I will be starting like on Friday...
Thank you Jesus!! Thank you Jesus!!Thank you Jesus!!Thank you Jesus!!Thank you Jesus!!Thank you Jesus!!Thank you Jesus!!Thank you Jesus!!Thank you Jesus!!Thank you Jesus!!Thank you Jesus!!Thank you Jesus!!

Dear friends, this has been the most trying time in my life. I know we go through these experiences for a reason, usually for the Potters Hand to remove more of us, to expose more of His Son... Jesus Christ. I just wish it wasn't so painful... LOL.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you this wonderful thing that God has done for me. I want to praise and acknowledge Him for everything He does in my life. Even the painful things, I know He does out of love.

Thank you all for being my friends. I wish I could meet you all and give you a BIG BEAR HUG!! Your friend and brother,
Tim

Prayer request

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 13:19:00 +0000

Greetings brothers and sisters,

Below is an email I received from my brother in Ithaca, NY. His 15 year old son is still battling cancer. He has begun chemo treatments, and Billy (that's the young mans name) could really use your prayers. So could the entire family. My brother William is the pastor of a local church there, and every since he took over the church he and his family have been under serious attack from the enemy. Like I always remind people, once you truly give your life over to Christ, all of hell is against you.

"Hello Everyone
This is going to a short update/prayer request for Billy. Billy is already in the hospital having his 4 th chemo treatment. Only 10 more to go. He was to start his treatment today Thur, But his blood counts were at a level that wanted to start asap. So Christina and Billy went up early yesterday morning and started his treatment. I went up last night and he was doing Ok. He did get sick about a hour after his treatment ,but his attitude is so good he makes it easier for Chris and I . Please prayer that the cancer will never return to his body and that the treatment will do exactly what it is designed to do and not harm his body. That the Lord would use this situation and all of us in the cancer ward in a mighty way. Well, I need to get to work as this is my busy time. God Bless and thank you for your prayers.

Bill Lower"Thank you all for your prayers and support,
Tim

Proverbs 3:5

tim_moore58@msn.com (Disciple Tim) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 18:37:00 +0000

Why do we have to make it so hard for oursleves?

I know that God will take care of us, but yet the minute adversity sets in we always tend to lean on our own understading. Something that God tells us in Proverbs 3:5 not to do "Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding". Most followers of Christ know this verse by heart, but yet how often do we actually apply it to our lives.

For me, what I find amazing is all through my life I've seen God's hand at work. Even in the darkest times I know He's been there with me. In those dark times He has always come through, never once failed me. But yet, to this day, I still tend to lean on my own understanding at first. The pain and heart ache I could save myself if I just learned to totally trust Him, I mean totally.

God grant me the wisdom to totally trust you... and NOT TO LEAN ON MY OWN UNDERSTANDING!!

Bless you all,
Tim