All That Jazz

HAIR TRANSFORMATION: DEMENTED BADGER TO MAJESTIC FIRE BIRD

2017-03-16T20:52:00.000+00:00

If you know me in real life, or if you follow me on any social media, you're probably aware of the fact that I've something of a fondness for dying my hair. You're probably also aware of the fact that I've a great affinity for fucking it up. A stand out example is the time I aimed for a deep, rusty orange and instead found myself at bright lime green (no, I'm not sure either). My most recent failed endeavour, however, saw me attempting a super cool Sweeney Todd black and white 'do and instead arriving at something that closely resembled Pepe Le Pew's strung out and slightly demented punk-rock cousin. While I didn't totally hate it, it was definitely one of the shoddier dye jobs I've done. Still, I stuck with it, as I do all hair colours, be they fab or tragic, until I got bored and decided to put it right;

Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be Fawkes the Phoenix

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think it came out looking pretty freaking dope. It was much easier and much less time consuming than I anticipated, too. All of the products I used were from La Riche Directions, a brand I've used for right around six years now and trust more than any other. I purchased all of mine from my favourite online store, Attitude Clothing and my total came to £24.96, including next day postage and packaging.

To start, I used the Directions Hair Lightening Kit in the 40 vol/12% version. This is where, if I were a responsible adult or any level of professional I would advise against following my lead; 40 vol is the highest volume of peroxide available to the general public (to the best of my knowledge) and as such, is most damaging to your hair. I would strongly advise that you use 40 vol only if you absolutely need to (i.e. if your hair is black/very dark brown, as the majority of my hair was at the beginning of this). I also didn't use any Vaseline on my hairline, neck or ears - something you should always do when using any kind of peroxide bleach product - chemical burns ain't cute, kids. Like most things in life, this is somewhere you should do as I say, not as I do.

40 volume lightening kit is
£9.99 at Attitude Clothing

The kit comes with the bleach powder, cream developer, mixing tray, tinting brush, sachet moisturising shampoo plastic gloves and developing cap. It's a very simple process to get the dye to the point it's ready to be on the hair; simply tip the entire sachet of blue bleach powder into the mixing tray, add the cream developer, and stir with the tinting brush until it becomes a thick, paste-like substance and no powder remains (I forgot to take a picture of it in this state!)

I mixed it on my toilet lid because I'm classy and
my bathroom is tiny. Don't worry - it's clean.

The blue tint of the powder means that it tones
as it dyes.

I would tell you what the cream developer looks like
to me, but my mother reads this blog.

Now, I'll take a moment here to say that I understood going into this that there was no way that this bleach - or any peroxide bleach product - would lift my hair from black to light blonde. That would require several rounds of bleaching and toning and, while doable, can be very damaging to the hair if not done professionally. However, as the look I was going for is all reds and oranges, there is no need to get the hair super platinum or pale blond; a gingery/russet tone will do the trick.

I didn't take any photos of the process of applying the bleach as my phone is near impossible to operate at the best of times, let alone whilst wearing plastic hair-dying gloves/ However, I didn't do anything different or special; simply used the tinting brush to 'paint' the bleach onto my hair then used my (gloved) fingers and a hairbrush to ensure that the distribution of the product was as even as possible. I then pulled it all back into a low bun and let it sit under the developing cap for right around 30 minutes.

A sexy look for anyone, I'm sure you'll agree.

The result of the bleaching was actually a lot better than I'd anticipated; the roots lightened nicely to a pale yellow-blond colour and the rest to varying shades of dark gingery brown. (Note: in the photos, it still looks black in some places. I attribute this to the harsh lighting in my bathroom - apologies, this was the best I had to work with). I wasn't put out that it wasn't a solid colour; if anything, I preferred it. It allowed for more dimension and depth in the hair once the dying was complete.

Honestly couldn't tell you why I look so afraid

Please do not be alarmed, it's only eczema on my arm

This shot took more attempts than I feel it should've

After drying my hair, I went on to applying the actual colours. First thing I did was slap Directions' Apricot on the bottommost layer of my hair. As a side note; I already had a tub of Apricot on hand, which I hadn't used in a previous dying endeavour. I decided to block-colour the lowest layer with this as I often like to pull my hair into a top knot on casual days and I felt the neon orange would look fantastic in contrast with the bright red and darker rust of Fire and Flame. Next, on the upper layers, I applied Fire, a bright true red, on the bottom two thirds of my hair and coated the roots with Flame, a stunning orangey-russet. For the roots, I washed off the tinting brush from the lightening kit as I felt like brushing it on would give a better 'fade' or 'blend' than using my fingers. As a side note; it is totally safe to use Directions dyes with your bare hands. Brighter colours will stain your hands a bit (as you have probably seen if you follow me on Instagram), but there are no chemicals that will harm your skin - and I speak as someone whose skin is baby-sensitive.

Fire - the bright true red - can be found at
Attitude Clothing for £4.99

Flame - the deep orange root colour - is also
£4.99 at Attitude Clothing

Apricot is, again, less than a fiver on Attitude Clothing

When you're metal AF but need to get your
five a day: Through The Fire and The Flames
(And the Apricots)

Coated t he lowermost layer with 'Apricot'

Added 'Fire' to the bottom two thirds of the next layer

No, I don't know why I made this face either.

Finally, covered the roots with 'Flame'

A top view of the roots. Something strangely
satisfying about this picture.

After letting the three colours sit on my hair for another half an hour, I hopped in the shower and rinsed it off. I'd advise simply rinsing the hair, rather than washing it as washing can deplete the pigmentation of the dye. It's also a good idea to wash your hair as infrequently as you can manage and only ever with cold water if you have red hair, as frequent washing and hot water tend to make the colour fade faster.

Overall, I'm beyond pleased with how this hair turned out. I'd definitely say one of the best hair looks I've ever achieved. All Directions products are vegan and are not tested on animals. The Directions sit states that their semi-permanent hair colours last up to eight washes, which totals out to about eight weeks for me.

The finished (slightly damp) look again because
I honestly can't get over how much I love it.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

BOOK REVIEW: THE MAGICIAN'S WORKSHOP VOLUME ONE

2017-03-15T21:28:00.000+00:00

BOOK TITLE: The Magician's Workshop: Volume One

SERIES: The Magician's Workshop

AUTHOR: Christopher Hansen & J.H Fehr

GENRE: Fantasy, Young Adult

MY RATING: 5/5

WARNINGS: Some imagery that may be frightening to very young or highly sensitive readers.

No, dear friends, your eyes do not deceive you. I am back from the dead. And by 'the dead', I mean masses upon masses of Uni work - which is basically the same thing, if we're being honest with ourselves. Worry not, though, year one is drawing quickly to an end and with it comes four glorious months of summer break - for most of which, I have no plans. I intend to get some serious blogging done in that time, and already have quite a few ideas in formulation. Hopefully we won't see an absence quite like this most recent one for a long while.

I was actually contacted by the lovely Jonathan from Wondertale publishing way back in December with a request for me to review Volume One of The Magician's Workshop series. Aforementioned uni work, however, has prevented me from actually sitting down and writing the review. Until now.

The Magician's Workshop series is set in the islands of O'Ceea, where everyone has the magical ability to bring anything they can imagine into existence. Those who master these powers are granted the title of magician. With the title comes fame, riches, powers, glory. The series follows the lives of a group of youngsters who strive to reach the top, for a place in the Magician's Workshop.

These kids include Layuana and Kai,

Layuana only manages to make horrible, savage monsters despite her desire to create beautiful things. For all of her life, she's tried to hide her creations; but when her power is discovered by a great magician, she finds that they may be of value after all. Kai is deemed a 'bad influence' by almost everybody on his island and forced to meet his friends in secret. When one of his creations goes out of control, with somewhat blazing consequences for the town, he becomes inclined to agree with his reputation. However, the arrival of two mysterious visitors and extraordinary promises for the future start to change his opinion.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It honestly took me way back to the days of my youth, and reading such fantasy gems as Eragon and Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone for the first time. The much-welcomed nostalgia, coupled with the beautiful imagery and magical writing style made for an altogether thoroughly enjoyable reading experience.

Now, obviously, this book is aimed at rather a younger audience. However, much like the aforementioned Eragon and Harry Potter books, I see no reason why those of us no longer considered 'younger' can't enjoy it too. If you're looking for a gift for a young reader, this is perfect. If you're looking to delve into the world of fantasy and you're not really sure how to go about it, this is a great place to start. And if you're a seasoned fantasy reading veteran, and you're looking for something whimsical and fun to read - this is still a great idea. Any chance you get to pick this up, I implore you to do so.

If you'd like to support me elsewhere on social media, or see what I get up to in my daily life, you can find me on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, LookBook and my Facebook Page. I'm also now on Bloglovin' - you can find me there on the following link!.

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Happy reading,

Jazz xo

EASY READERS/BOOKS ON THE GO

2017-01-29T22:42:00.002+00:00

When it comes to reading, I'm a girl with a penchant for the macabre and the heavy. A combined love for horrors and for classics means that my favourite books tend to fall into two categories; the niche horror and the dusty tome. In short, few of the books on my shelf can really be considered 'easy readers'. That said, I do enjoy something a little less brain-painful when I'm on the go - particularly on the train journey from uni to home, and vice versa. I don't know how or why I formed the link between being on the move and having an easier book to read, but it's a link that stands solid and one I imagine (or hope) some of you share. Perhaps, like me, you like to have a few easy-readers on hand to follow up a heavier text in order to cleanse the palette, so to speak. Or maybe you're just not one for a book you really have to plough through. Either way, these are five of my favourite 'easy reader' books, and I hope you enjoy them!

1. THE OUTSIDERS (S.E. Hinton)

If you're into books at all, I'm taking it for granted that you've at least heard of, if not read The Outsiders. The classic teenage rebellion story, this novel is actually home to two of my favourite fictional characters ever written (Sodapop Curtis and Dally Winston, if anyone was curious). While there are some rather upsetting scenes towards the end of this one, it's an all around pretty easy read. One I really implore you to read if you haven't already, even if you feel you've outgrown the lust for teen rebellion.

2. WEDDING NIGHT (Sophie Kinsella)

I'll be the first one to say that, while I'm not opposed to it, I'm not the biggest fan of 'chick-lit' either. There's nothing wrong with it, it just generally doesn't float my boat. That said, I find Sophie Kinsella (real name Madeline Wickham) to be absolutely hysterical. Now, I know she's probably most famous for her Shopaholic series, which gave us Isla Fisher's rom-com masterpiece Confessions of a Shopaholic, but I honestly think that she's got some stand-alone gems (spoiler alert; she appears again later on in this list). Wedding Night is a perfect example of this; it's ridiculous and sometimes cringeworthy (in the best way) but also hilarious and believable. An all-round great book, whether you're looking for an easy-reader or just a nice, feel-good novel.

3. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE SUPERHEROES (Andrew Kaufman)

I won't spend an immense amount of time on this book because I wrote a whole review on it a while back, which you can read here. I will say for it that it is a perfect follow up to a heavier or more upsetting text, as a kind of 'brain-rinse'. It's short, sweet, light-hearted and funny. An absolute recommendation to anyone who likes to laugh.

4. FLUSH (Virginia Woolf)

This is the oldest and perhaps most unusual book on the list. Generally, when one thinks of 'easy readers', Virginia Woolf is not the first person to enter one's mind. However, I recently finished reading Flush for the first time as a part of my uni course, and I can honestly say that it's definitely one I'd consider as an on-the-train read. While there are definitely some deeper undertones and analyses that can made from the book, at face value it's a nice, easygoing story about the life of a very special dog. Again, does contain some upsetting scenes.

5. TWENTIES GIRL (Sophie Kinsella)

As promised, another Sophie Kinsella book. This one - as well as being hysterically funny and endlessly entertaining - is one that actually holds a very special place in my heart; bought at a service-station WH Smith's on a Year Eight roadtrip, this was the first proper 'grown up' book that I ever purchased for myself, and I absolutely cherish it. One of those books that I can read over and over again and never get bored of. Highly recommended by me.

So those are my top five easy reader/on the go books. What are your favourites? Let me know!

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

COFFEE TALK #16 - EAT WELL ON A STUDENT BUDGET

2017-01-06T21:01:00.000+00:00

As you'll likely known if you're even a semi-regular reader of my blog, I'm right about to go into my second semester of my first year of university. I can by no means say that I'm yet an expert of the topic of uni life, but I feel that I'm comfortably in a place that I can at least give out advice on how to get through semester one with as much ease as possible. One thing I think I've become pretty well-versed on is how to live on more than just the typical student diet.

It's a common stereotype, and one that is almost universally held; you sign up to go to Uni, you sign yourself up to a 3-4 year diet of instant ramen noodles. However, this doesn't necessarily have to be the case. Don't get me wrong - it's always good to have a stock of instant noodles in the cupboard or on the shelf. They're an easy, filling and quite tasty meal that isn't really all that bad for you, given that they're a convenience food. That said, you don't have to make them your sole source of caloric intake. If you know how to shop smart, you can eat reasonably well at a cost not significantly greater than that of a noodle-only lifestyle.

For me, the key to saving money on groceries is knowing where to shop. I know there can be stigma around more budget-friendly supermarket chains like Aldi and Lidl. It's important to remember, however, that cheaper doesn't always equal poorer quality. There are some areas where you can absolutely scrimp on price without scrimping on quality. Dried foods (think rice, pasta and lentils) and canned goods (beans, peas and tinned fruits) have long shelf lives and the cheaper versions are usually not all that different from their more expensive counterparts. The same is true of frozen foods - things like pizzas, ready meals and meats from the freezer aisles can easily be switched out with little to no difference in quality. In fact, the only place I'd say it's really worth spending the extra couple of quid is in fresher areas like meat and produce.

Learning to cook will also be massively beneficial to you before you jet off to Uni. I lost track of the number of friends at whom I was appalled for their cooking skills - or, more appropriately, lack thereof - right before or upon arriving at uni. I'm by no means saying that you need to be Gordon Ramsay or Heston Blumethal at Fresher's age, but learning to make a few simple dishes will be of massive benefit to you. Stir fries and pasta bakes are filling, nutritious and easy to make. You can also find a plethora of easy-to-make and reasonably affordable recipes on websites such as this one, and in books such as The Student Cookbook (one I personally have and use frequently) and NOSH for Students, which has a second volume and a vegetarian version. There is also, thus far, one recipe for Chinese Style Chicken here on my blog and I plan for there to be more in the near future. Learning kitchen skills may be a pain but it's cheaper and better for you than living off convenience foods and takeaways - trust me, you won't regret it!

It's also mentioning the odd bevvie - after all, students wouldn't be students if we didn't enjoy a drink now and then. My best tip here is to keep your eye out for offers; if you're not to opt for the supermarket-own brand (admittedly, these can be hit-or-miss) it's worth making note on who has the best deals and discounts on drink. This includes pubs and bars; often times the ones nearest to the uni and uni digs will have student deals. And, of course, there's always the Union!

NEW-RELEASE READING WISHLIST 2017

2017-01-06T01:36:00.000+00:00

Hi there friends! I did originally consider making this post a 'TBR' but if I'm perfectly honest with you and myself, I don't know if I'll get round to reading all of these books this year. For a start, I've a small mountain of books I already own that I'm trying to get through. Also, I've discovered that Uni generally means two things; a tight budget and lots of textbooks. Although this list is short, whether or not I can purchase all of these books depends entirely upon how my financial situation goes over the course of the next semester. Instead, then, I opted to calling it a Reading Wishlist; a compilation of some of the new-release books I would like to read in 2017. Credit to Reading Books Like A Boss for providing a comprehensive list of 2017 book releases. Apologies to those of you to whom these seems like 'lazy blogging' - I have more exciting posts coming as soon as I get back up to Glasgow and back to my proper camera.

#1 FREEKS - Amanda Hocking

Summary: Mara has become used to the extraordinary. Roaming from place to place with Gideon Davorian's Travelling Carnival, she longs for an ordinary life where nobody has the ability to levitate or predict the future. She gets her chance when the struggling sideshow sets up camp in the small town of Caudry, and she meets a gorgeous local guy named Gabe. But before long, Mara realises there's a dark presence lurking in the town threatening the lives of her friends. She has seven days to take control of a power she didn't know she had in order to save everyone she cares about - and change the future forever.

Why I Want To Read It: A little known and highly strange fact about me: I've a great love for any story set in or around a carnival, circus or theatre setting. Perhaps it's my great fondness for Angela Carter - in particular Wise Children - seeping out. Whatever the case may be, I was tremendously excited to read the summary for this book. I also like that the blurb suggests something of a creepy horror/thriller element, as those are two of my favourite genres.

#2 KILL THE FATHER - Sandrone Dazieri

Summary: When a woman is beheaded in a park outside Rome and her six-year-old son goes missing, the police unit assigned to the case sees an easy solution: they arrest the woman's husband and await his confession. But the chief of Rome's major crimes unit doubts things are so simple. Secretly, he lures to the case two of Italy's top analytical minds; Deputy Captain Colomba Caselli,a fierce, warrior-like officer still reeling from having survived a bloody catastrophe, and Dante Torre, a man who spent his childhood trapped inside a concrete silo. Fed by the gloved hand of a masked kidnapper who called himself "the Father", Dante emerged from his ordeal with crippling claustrophobia but, also, with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and hyperobservant capabilities. All evidence suggests that the Father is back and active after being dormant for decades. Indeed, he has left telltale signs that he's looking forward to a reunion with Dante. But when Colomba and Dante begin following the ever-more-bizarre trail of clues, they grasp that what's really going on is darker than they ever imagined.

Why I Want To Read It: Dazieri is a critically acclaimed crime writer, and with good reason. As a lover of the genre, I've enjoyed many of his books in the past. From the summary of this one, it sounds like it will be no exception!

#3 THE DEVIL CREPT IN - Ania Ahlborn

Summary: Young Jude Brighton has been missing for three days, and while the search for him is in full swing in the small town of Deer Valley, Oregon, the locals are starting to lose hope. They're well aware that the first forty-eight hours are critical and, after that, the odds usually point to a worst-case scenario. And despite Stevie Clarke's youth, he knows that too; he's seen the cop shows. He knows what each ticking moment might mean for Jude, his cousin and best friend. That, and there was that boy, Max Larsen... the one from years ago, found dead after also disappearing under mysterious circumstances. And then there were the animals: pets gone missing out of yards. For years, the residents of Deer Valley have murmured about these unsolved crimes... and that a killer might lurking around their quiet town. Now, fear has been reborn - and for Stevie, who is determined to find out what really happened to Jude, the awful truth might be too horrifying to imagine.

Why I Want To Read It: As I've mentioned time and time again, I'm a huge fan of the horror genre. While I've never read any of Ahlborn's works prior to now, I know she's rather lauded in the horror-fiction community and that her books have received high praise in the past. The ominous title and gripping summary of this novel have me hanging on the edge of my seat awaiting its release.

#4 HER EVERY FEAR - Peter Swanson

Summary: Following a brutal attack on her ex-boyfriend, Kate Priddy makes an uncharacteristically bold decision after her cousin, Corbin Dell, suggests a temporary apartment swap - and she moves from London to Boston. But soon after arriving Kate makes a shocking discovery: Corbin's next door neighbour, a young woman named Audrey Marshall, has been murdered. When the police start asking questions about Corbin's relationship with Audrey, and his neighbours start coming forwards with their own suspicions, a shaken Kate has few answers and many questions of her own. Jet-lagged and emotionally unstable, her imagination playing on her every fear, Kate can barely trust herself. So how can she trust any of the strangers she's just met?

Why I Want To Read It: I seem to remember having read one of Swanson's books - The Girl With A Clock For a Heart - a year or so ago, however I've since been unable to locate it. Perhaps it was lost in the moving process back in July, or maybe it was borrowed from a friend or a library. Either way, I' remember thoroughly enjoying it. Swanson may only have three novels published so far, but he's got the kind of thriller-writing skill seen in the greats like Gillian Flynn. I'm really anxious to get my hands on this one!

#5 - CONTAINMENT - Hank Parker

Summary: When a gruesome new tick-borne virus breaks out near a major US city and is traced to an extremist group in Southeast Asia, the race to stop a global bioterrorism conspiracy is on. Government epidemiologist Mariah Rossi must leave the safety of her lab to help fellow scientist and covert CIA agent Curt Kennedy to track the disease back to its source. Their worldwide net leads them to an underground lab in the jungles of the Philippines, then to a deadly and climactic battle in the coral reefs near Malaysian Borneo and finally to London and back to America, where the virus must be contained.

Why I Want To Read It: If you know me, or if we've ever had a discussion about books, you probably know that one of my all time favourite books is James Herbert's '48 - for which I have a full review on this blog. Containment intrigued me for the same reason '48 does; I'm a bit of a medical history nut, and I've quite the morbid obsession with the concept of biological warfare. Especially cool about this book is its author's origins; Parker is a former US Government advisor on agroterrorism, so he really is writing what he knows. This is his début novel and I thoroughly look forward to reading it at some point.

#6 MY HUSBAND'S WIFE - Jane Corry

Summary: What if your life was built on a lie? When lawyer Lily marries Ed she's determined to make a fresh start. To leave the secrets of the past behind. But when she takes on her first criminal case, she finds herself strangely drawn to her client. A man who's accused of murder. A man she will soon be willing to risk everything for. But is he really innocent? And who is she to judge?

Why I Want To Read It: There seems to be a trend emerging, friends. I'll hold my hands up and admit - I'm a sucker for a good mystery story, and I particularly love a courtroom-drama. The deliberately vague summary was what really drew me in here. I can't wait to give this one a go.

So those are the books off of RBLB's post that caught my eye most (trust me, it was tough to narrow down!) What's on your 2017 reading wishlist? Let me know!

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

PRODUCT REVIEW - CLARINS SKINCARE

2017-01-04T21:33:00.001+00:00

If you know me at all, you'll know my policy when it comes to beauty products is that, if made to choose, I tend to be more inclined to splash out on high end skincare, rather than high end make up. As someone who suffers with dry skin to the point of suffering from eczema, I'm keen to test out most anything that might help me. That said, Clarins has never been a brand I've known much about and, for whatever reason, I've never really looked into it that much.

Please excuse the stray eyeliner sharpener-shaving so classily strewn in the middle of my setup.

I was rather intrigued, then, when my mum gifted me this set of travel-sized goodies on Christmas day. The kit contains minatures of The One-Step Gentle Exfoliating Cleanser, HydraQuench Cream moisturiser and the Booster Detox oil in a generously sized and really rather pretty quilted white cosmetics bag. It's actually a great thing that has come in real handy for me, as it quite comfortably contains all of the make up that I use on the daily - including the Too Faced Chocolate Bar palette and all of my brushes.

I've used the products that came inside the bag pretty regularly since Christmas and I feel I'm at a point now where I can give a pretty fair judgement on all of them.

I'll start with the product I had the most neutral feelings on. Initially, I was very excited about this face wash; it was grainy, but not overly so, which is generally the perfect type of exfoliating cleanser for dry skin. This one also contains orange extract and shea, both things that historically works quite well with my skin. However, I found this to be underwhelming at best. It does meet all of its claims - removing make up, cleansing pores and softening/brightening skin. It really is quite good. The issue for is the price tag for the full size product; at £21 it just doesn't do the things it does any better than cheaper face washes I've tried. If you're after a decent face wash and you really feel like splurging on one, then this one could absolutely be a good idea. However, if you're not looking to spend as much I'd recommend the Soap & Glory 3-in-1 Face Wash (usually £8, on sale for £6 at the time of me writing this post) as an every day wash, and the Nivea Daily Essential Facial Scrub (£3.99) as a deeper exfoliant once or twice a week.

I was much more impressed with this next product! I'm something of a moisturiser junkie, and I'm always on the market for a new one. I switch my moisturisers out so often that I can't really say that I've got a 'holy grail', however my most recent favourite has been the Clinique Moisture Surge Intense Skin Fortifying Hydrator (£34). I generally like to use moisturisers for a month or so before I come to a final decision, but this one is well on track for knocking Clinique off the top spot. At £36 a tub, the difference between this and the Clinique one is nominal enough that I'd not feel at all guilty for switching them out. This one is similar to the Clinique one in that it is very lightweight and doesn't clog pores. However, they're very different textures; this is more of a traditional lotion-y moisturiser than a gel-cream hybrid.

As far as I'm concerned, this Booster Detox is the shining star of this set. It's really been a game changer in my foundation game; I've recently fallen in love with the W7 Photo Shoot Foundation in Buff (£6.95). Although the foundation was already beautiful with great coverage and a good lightweight feel on the skin, I did find I had a little trouble getting it to blend over the dryer patches of my skin. 3 drops of this Detox oil make it blend absolutely seamlessly everywhere. I also find it incredibly useful for mixing with the HydraQuench cream. Like an idiot, I fell asleep in a full face of make up on New Years Eve and, as you can imagine, woke up with my skin feeling quite dull and angry at me. Four drops of this oil in the moisturiser after I finally got round to the bath really helped me join the land of the living again. I have no doubt that I'll drop £30 on the full-size when I run out of this one.

I'm not sure if this set is still available, but I hope this review has helped you decide if you want any of these three individual products in their full sizes!

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

COFFEE TALK #15 - GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE 2016.

2016-12-31T00:00:00.000+00:00

Contrary to what this title may suggest, I'm not after dedicating this post to some woeful diatribe of how dreadful 2016 has been; I'm sure you're all as sick of reading all that as I am. Truth be told, 2016 has been okay for me. Of course, the Walking Wotsit and his Pencey little pal getting into power, as well as the loss of countless beloved celebrities, has meant that the year hasn't been so grand for the world in general. But I'm a firm believer in focusing on the positives and in my own personal life, those have far outweighed the negatives. Within the past twelve months I had an article published on a student website, won 'article of the month' for said article, passed my A-Levels (and passed them rather well, if I can say so without sounding boastful), started university at my first choice institution, got good grades on my end-of-semester assignments and had one of the best family Christmases I've experienced in years. While 2016 has been a hell of a year - and not always in the best way - I think that it's important that we remember the sun always comes up in the morning and things will be better when it does. God willing, 2017 will be the metaphorical sunrise, and we'll see things improve in the next twelve months.

Now that the sappy bit is out of the way, it's time for us to acknowledge that Lie To Yourself™ season has come around once more. It's at this time of year that we all promise ourselves we're going to eat healthier, hit the gym, do more charity work and call our parents more. Generally these promises last all of six weeks (if we're lucky) and, to be honest, I don't usually buy into them. I'm really not a fan of the idea of 'New Years Resolutions', and I'm a firm believer that if you would like to better yourself you should just do it and shouldn't need the New Year as an excuse to do so. That said, I have set myself a number of goals for the coming year, and I'd like to share them with you;

GOAL #1 BE A BETTER BLOGGER

If you read this blog on the reg you're undoubtedly aware that I'm a bit shit at posting a lot of the time. It seems I operate at one of two extremes; either I make post after post after post over the course of just a few days, or I go weeks without making a single one. I really do enjoy blogging as a hobby and I'm really going to use this year to try and make more of an effort to post very regularly with better and more creative content.

GOAL #2 MAKE A CONSCIOUS EFFORT SAVE UP MONEY

Something else I should put more thought into is my finances. Thing is, I've always been good with money; I'm not really what you'd call a 'spendaholic'. That said, saving up isn't something I've ever really put any conscious effort into, mostly because I've never really had to. Living at my mum's, the rent and bills and food shopping was always paid without me having to contribute too much. Since moving out, I've unfortunately kept the same mentality about budgeting and, while I'm not totally broke, I'm pretty skint because of it. In 2017 I'm going to try to consciously budget my money and hopefully have a bit extra pocket money as a result.

GOAL #3 GO TO EVERY SINGLE CLASS

Something I swore I'd never become guilty of, yet am a bugger for. I can't say that I've made a habit of skipping out on classes after an all-nighter or because of an annoying cold. However, it's something I've done on more occasions than I really care admit to. While it doesn't seem to have had a severely pejorative effect on my grades, I inevitably end up missing something of at least some importance - or something interesting. I'm going to make it a goal this year to attend absolutely every class that I'm capable of going to.

GOAL #4 DO MORE CREATIVE SHIT

For as long as I can remember, I've been really rather into arts and crafts; I love making things, dying and painting and altering clothes, knitting, cross-stitch... you name it. If it's arty and/or creative I probably like doing it. The thing is, I've not had much chance to do so since I headed off to uni, and that's something I'd really like to change. I've had tons of crafty projects in mind for weeks, and I'm hoping that this will be the year I manage to get through them.

GOAL #5 READ MORE OUTSIDE OF CLASSES

As you probably know by now, I'm an English Literature student at the University of Strathclyde. This, of course, means lots of mandatory reading. Being a bookworm, of course, I love this. However, in the past three months since moving up to Glasgow, I've fallen off the wagon of reading for the hell of it. I'm really going to try to get back into it in 2017, and I'm setting myself a goal of 50 books outside of my mandatory class reading.

So these are my goals for 2017. Are you guys making any? Let me know in the comments!

Happy reading and happy new year,

Jazz xo

SHOE REVIEW - JEFFREY CAMPBELL SPIKED HAWK FLATS

2016-12-30T18:58:00.005+00:00

I'll preface this post with an apology if the photos of the shoes aren't the best quality. I left my proper camera back up in Glasgow and had to take them on my mobile phone. I also don't have the greatest lighting here, but I'll do my best. I bought these shoes way back in July with the intention of wearing them on a trip I took to London. However, due to a moderate fuck-up in ordering (entirely my fault for not reading the listing closely enough) they were about a size and a half too small when they arrived and there just wasn't any feasible way that I could've worn them trekking round the capital without my feet being rubbed raw.

That said, my mum jumped to the rescue and ordered a pair of wooden shoe stretchers from Amazon, and within a couple of days they fit comfortably. At that point I was still pretty much solely dedicated to my Essex Glam double sole creepers which I found on Amazon and which, I might add, have lasted remarkably for being so affordable. However, I left those behind in Cumbria when I moved away for university. Since arriving in Glasgow, my Hawks have pretty much been my every day shoe.

There's a few reasons these have become my favourite pair of shoes; the loafer-style means that they're easy to take on and off and comfortable to wear. I have no issues with them now that they fit properly and I wear them almost everyday, up and down the steep, steep hills of Strathy. It's also a simple shape and style, meaning they're very easy to pair with any outfit. However, the all-over spike design means that they're still a real statement piece and helps them fit much better with my personal style. While the spikes on the top and outsides of the shoes are incredibly sharp and will leave you with nasty scratches, if not full on cuts, the inside edges have flatter studs, meaning your ankles will be a little bit safer. I found them on Office's eBay store on a killer sale - down from £105 to £38.50 with postage and packaging included. Unfortunately, it seems like the spiked Hawk design has been discontinued, and I can't seem to find it anywhere online. However, similar sizes such as the Hawk ZN and Studded Martini are still available. It's also always worth keeping an eye on sites such as eBay, Vinted and Depop if you don't mind buying a pair secondhand - you'll probably get them even cheaper from these places as you would from a mainstream retailer!

In the UK, Jeffrey Campbell shoes are generally available in women's sizes 2-8. I'll include a size conversion chart below so that you can translate this into international/men's sizes if you want to.

Happy reading,
Jazz xo

BOOK REVIEW - THE LONEY

2016-12-28T15:28:00.000+00:00

BOOK TITLE: The Loney
SERIES: N/A
AUTHOR: Andrew Michael Hurley
GENRE: Horror, mystery
WARNINGS: Some violence, strong language, heavy themes of religion
MY RATING: 5/5

As a self confessed connoisseur of all things creepy and admittedly something of a snob about the horror genre, it's rare that I come across a horror novel with which I can find no fault. I tend more towards somewhat older books in the genre, when horror royalty such as Stephen King (horrible pun intended) and James Herbert and Ray Bradbury were at their peak. I picked up The Loney back in the summer, from Manchester airport, to act as poolside entertainment while in Mallorca. As it went, I actually didn't end up doing too much reading on holiday and totally forgot about reading it until fairly recently.

The story follows a nameless narrator and his brother Hanny, a mute who suffers from learning disabilities. Following the death of their old vicar, the entire parish to which their family belongs takes his replacement on their annual trip; a pilgrimage to a rural, seaside town in the North and its shrine to Saint Anne, where they pray for Hanny to be 'cured'. Here the boys find the Loney, an isolated area on the sea front where they go to play and escape their mother's nervous and borderline-fanatical behaviours. A place they've gone to for years, the narrator confesses that the Loney can be a dangerous place, however, he and Hanny have never experienced any real threat there. Until their final pilgrimage.

My only regret is that I didn't get round to it sooner. The Loney is well deserving of the 'Book of The Year' award it has won. Evocative of those older novels I hold so dear, Hurley creates an atmosphere that is genuinely unsettling from the novel's outset all the way to its disturbing conclusion. He also artfully crafts scenes that are legitimately terrifying and sometimes highly distressing. The Loney is well praised and with good reason. It also provides the kind of sickly twisted ending in which a character gets exactly what they want, just not quite in the way they might have hoped.

All in all, The Loney is a fantastic, darkly beautiful, frightening novel, and definitely worth a read for anyone who's into horror.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

THE CHRISTMAS TAG!!

2016-12-25T00:00:00.000+00:00

If things have gone well and I've actually managed to queue a post successfully for once, this should be going up on Christmas Day. As is the way with me and tags, nobody actually tagged me or asked me to do it. However, as I've not managed to get too many Christmas posts done I thought it was high time that I got some festive blogging in, right at the last minute - just my style, really. I'm not entirely sure who originated this tag, but I found it over at Make Up Savvy. She did the tag November of 2014 and did a fantastic job of it. If you do know who created it, please do let me know in the comments and I'll credit them fully :)

1. What is your favourite Christmas Movie/s?

I actually made a post last year which listed my Top 5 Christmas films, which you can read here. The list is more or less still the same this year, and each one is pretty much equal in terms of how much I like it. However; if you were to really really force me to pick a favourite, it'd definitely be a toss-up between Frank Capra's classic 'It's a Wonderful Life', and the true cinematic artistry that is 'The Muppet Christmas Carol.'

2. Do you open your presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

In my family it's always, always been Christmas day. Once in my life, my brother and I were allowed to open one present each on Christmas Eve. This is partly because Christmas Eve is my mum's birthday, so we generally spend the day celebrating that. It's also partly because we're a somewhat traditional bunch in my family; Christmas day is the day we all get together and exchange gifts. There's never been any inclination to swap gifts the day before.

3. Do you have a favourite Christmas memory?

As a whole, Christmas of 2010 was a pretty good one. One thing in particular that stands out to me about that year is my now eight-year-old cousin attempting to put various adults on the 'naughty step', after feeling that her own being put there was grossly unjust. The same year, my now thirteen-year-old cousin was gifted a rather elaborate Lego play set, which the entire adult population of the house that day struggled to build - to no avail.

4. Favourite festive food?

Unpopular opinion: I bloody love sprouts. I'm also a huge fan of parsnips. These are both generally considered to be 'Christmas dinner' foods, I know. However, both are pretty commonplace at regular old Sunday lunch in my family, so I don't really consider them 'festive' per se. With that in mid, I'd have to say that my favourite Christmas food is Quality Street - specifically the ever-coveted Toffee Penny.

5. Favourite Christmas gift?

This was a difficult one to put my finger on; I've got the most fantastic, generous family and friends and over the years I've been gifted some truly wonderful things over the years. There were several I could have picked for this question; however, one particular stand out is the gift I got from my dad in 2011; if you knew me throughout childhood or early-teenagehood, you'll know I was unabashedly obsessed with Spongebob Squarepants. You can imagine my excitement, then, when my dad turned up at my mum's house that Christmas with this Spongebob guitar.

6. Favourite Christmas scent?

I assume that this is the place where I'm expected to gush over one Yankee candle or Lush product or another; however, my favourite is much more general. To me, anything that smells of apple and cinnamon is the absolute essence of what Christmas is.

7. Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions?

As I've said already, Christmas Eve is my mum's birthday. Generally, we go out for dinner. However, this year is shaping up to be a little bit different; since we moved in July, there's nowhere that we can go for dinner within walking distance of our house, and driving would mean that my mum couldn't have a drink. Instead, we're going for coffee at a tea room not too far away at lunch time.

8. What tops your tree?

Our tree is far too tall for my short ass to get a decent picture of it, but for years now we've had the same white, glittery star atop our fir. However, as a child, I remember a rather pug-faced, pink-skinned fair in an awful sparkly frock making her perch there. I think we've Made a good swap!

9. As a kid what was the one (crazy, wild, extravagant) gift you always asked for but never received?

I don't really remember ever asking for anything 'crazy', 'wild' or 'extravagant', but I have very clear childhood memories of asking Santa for some kind of small furry pet every single year; something I was never given. I was, however, given several soft toys and one horrifying animatronic cat in lieu of the real thing, and my young self was completely satisfied with that.

10. What's the best part about Christmas for you?

This is where I show my sappy side. Simply put, I love how Christmas and the build up to it brings out the best in people. In my experience, over the Christmas period people are more cheerful, more generous and kinder to each other in general. In short, I love the unity that comes about with the Christmas period.

Happy reading & Merry Christmas,

Jazz xo

1. What is your favourite Christmas Movie/s?

Ah, there's SO many, I love National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, Elf, The Santa Clause etc. but one that I watch every year, without fail is The Snowman on Christmas eve. I absolutely adored the Snowman and The Snow dog. My dad bought me the little plushie last year, so cute.

2. Do you open your presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

Always on Christmas morning (usually whilst scoffing Christmas chocolate) We usually get new Christmas Pyjamas on Christmas Eve, but we save the present opening for Christmas day morning.

3. Do you have a favourite Christmas memory?

My parents always used to go all out at Christmas. We'd come downstairs to presents, balloons, reindeer prints made out of glitter, red and white tape for the north pole, it was so magical as kids!

4. favourite festive food?

Aside from chocolate...Roast potatoes during Christmas dinner, so many roast potatoes.

5. Favourite Christmas gift ?

I can't remember how old I was, but it was the year of the Furby. I'm sure there were small riots amongst the shelves in Toys R us. My parents pretended they couldn't get me one but then it was hidden behind the sofa! (anyone else hide theirs in the wardrobe at night, they were so creepy!)

6. Favourite Christmas scent?

Christmas dinner cooking, mmm or the smell of the Christmas tree!

7. Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions?
Just that it's family time, we'll usually all have wine, the fire on, lots of yummy food and sit down in our new pyjamas to watch Christmas films.

8. What tops your tree?
For years and years it was a little gold vintage angel, my dad always lifted me up to put it on the tree, when I was a kid... at the very end of decorating everything. She was always kind of wonky and worn looking, but it was tradition. These days it's a big gold glittery star.

9. As a kid what was the one (crazy, wild, extravagant) gift you always asked for but never received?
Not in an ungrateful way. I mean, I used to circle half of the Argos catalogue!But every year I would ask for a dog, without fail. One year my parents brought it a huge box, with holes in and something was moving. I was certain it was a puppy...it was a rabbit ha ha Still one of the best pets I've ever had though. Then last year, I finally bought myself my own Christmas puppy :) Oscar on the 21sr of December. He was certainly worth the wait.

10. What's the best part about Christmas for you?
Spending time with my loves ones, friends and family, after eating Christmas dinner, watching Only fools and Horses episodes that we've seen ten times already. Watching the snow fall and generally having a lovely time.

- See more at: http://milkbubbletea.blogspot.co.uk/#sthash.eOak9PKB.dpuf

1. What is your favourite Christmas Movie/s?

2. Do you open your presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

Always on Christmas morning (usually whilst scoffing Christmas chocolate) We usually get new Christmas Pyjamas on Christmas Eve, but we save the present opening for Christmas day morning.

3. Do you have a favourite Christmas memory?

My parents always used to go all out at Christmas. We'd come downstairs to presents, balloons, reindeer prints made out of glitter, red and white tape for the north pole, it was so magical as kids!

4. favourite festive food?

Aside from chocolate...Roast potatoes during Christmas dinner, so many roast potatoes.

5. Favourite Christmas gift ?

6. Favourite Christmas scent?

Christmas dinner cooking, mmm or the smell of the Christmas tree!

- See more at: http://milkbubbletea.blogspot.co.uk/#sthash.eOak9PKB.dpu

CHRISTMAS SONG BOOK TAG

2016-12-23T16:38:00.000+00:00

Much too late, I'm trying to squeeze some festive book blogging into the last few days of Christmastime. Though I wasn't tagged by them, I discovered the Christmas Song Book Tag over on Fandoms On The Run's Wordpress blog. I liked that it was rather a different take on your standard Christmassy book posts, and decided to give it a bash myself.

1. "You're a Mean One Mr Grinch"- Name a villainous character you can't help but love.

Not technically from a book, and not at all surprising to those who know me IRL, my number one fictional villain of all time is the demon Mephistopheles from Christopher Marlowe's play Doctor Faustus. An all-round pretty interesting character, who's rather more powerful than he seems and surprising honest for a literal servant of Satan, Mephistopheles is just everything I love about villains.

2. "All I Want For Christmas Is You" - Name a book that you hope to see under your tree.

As a fan of all things 80s, I've been after getting Corey Feldman's memoir Coreyography for a little while now. However, it's a bit of a bugger to get ahold of here in the UK - I've not actually seen it in any branch of Smith's or Waterstone's and Amazon seems to be perpetually sold out. For that reason I don't expect to see it there, but if anyone does know where I can get hold of a copy, let a girl know.

3. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" - Name a character that overcomes major obstacles and learns to believe in themselves.

This was hard to narrow down; this question is so general that it can be applied to almost any protagonist. That said, in my mind it can be applied especially to Hoke from James Herbert's '48. While he's an all round badass from the offset, Hoke has a lot of flaws that he has to fight and eventually overcome across the course of the novel.

4. "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" - Name a character you think is (a) at the top of the naughty list and (b) at the top of the nice list?

The top of the naughty list has got to be Assef from Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner. I've expressed my distaste towards this character on several occassions; he truly is the most rotten of the rotten, and he can be easily summed up in one word; bastard.

The nice list spot can, in my opinion, only be gifted to one person; Johnny Cade from S.E. Hinton's teen-rebel classic The Outsiders. Johnny is just generally good; selfless, brave, kind and completely undeserving of all the misfortune that befalls him. 'Nice' is a pretty lame summation of all the great things that Johnny is, but if anyone was ever deserving of topping Santa's list, it's him.

5. "Frosty The Snowman" - Name a book that just melts your heart.

Speaking of The Outsiders, I think the answer here is going to have to go to that one as well. If you've read it, it's plain to see why. Especially towards the end, the novel is absolutely heartbreaking.

6. "Feliz Navidad" - Name a book which takes place in a country other than your own

For some reason, this was tricky for me, as I didn't want to say The Outsiders for a third time. While I'm sure I've read lots of other books that aren't set in England, none of them are jumping out at me straight away. I'm going to have to say The Hobbit / Lord of the Rings novels - sadly, I'm not actually from The Shire.

7. "It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year" - Name a holiday themed book you'd use to spread Christmas joy.

Here, I'm going to be really cliché and obvious and say Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Partially because it's the only explicitly Christmas-themed book that I've read and partially because I feel like it really emulates what Christmas should be about - selflessness, and our love for one another.

8. "Sleigh Ride" - Which fictional character would you choose to spend the holidays with?

This spot, of course, goes to my beloved Stephen Dene from Maureen Johnson's Shades of London series. I just feel like Stephen deserves to spend a Christmas where he's loved and cared for and can at least try to be happy. After all, given that his parents forgot to pick him up from boarding school for the summer holidays, I can't imagine Christmas was a very exciting affair in the Dene household.

9. "Baby It's Cold Outside" - Which book that you didn't like would you sacrifice to keep warm?

The Fifty Shades series.

Burn them.

Burn them all.

10. "Do You Hear What I Hear?" - Name a book you think everyone should read.

Being a lover of Angela Carter as I am, I think it's a crying shame that more people don't talk about her stuff. In particular, my favourite of her full-length novels, Wise Children. If you don't mind a bit of raunchy humour and you're after finding a good read, I'd absolutely advise you pick up a copy.

Happy reading and merry Christmas,
Jazz xo

LAST MINUTE BOOKISH GIFT IDEAS

2016-12-18T21:05:00.001+00:00

This post is going up rather later than I intended it to - I had originally meant for this to have gone up at the beginning of the month. However, as is the way with me, life and laziness got in the way and I never got round to it. Worry not, though - everything on this list is still available for delivery before Christmas as of the publication date of this post, so if you are on the hunt for anything last minute, this could still be helpful.

If you've a bookworm in your life, you may know the struggle of buying gifts for such people. At face value it seems easy - buy them a book, of course. The issue comes, however, when you're standing in a bookshop, scanning the shelves and you realise that they've got so many damn books that you haven't a clue what they don't have. This can leave you in something of a pickle - but never fear, reader dear, there's a whole world of bookish gifts out there waiting to be given to your loved ones.

1. BOOK STORE VOUCHERS/GIFT CARDS

Now this first one is a little obvious, and possibly the most easily accessible on this list in that you can just walk into a shop and buy it, meaning it has the extra benefit of being super quick to obtain. This might be your best shout if you're planning on leaving your shopping really last minute.

A gift card is a great idea as it effectively allows the recipient to chose their own gift, but is a little more personal than gifting the equivalent in cash. Gift cards for high street bookstore chains like Waterstones (available in £10, £20, £50 and £100) and WH Smiths (available in £5, £10, £15, £20, £25, £50 and £100) can be purchased both online and in-store. Don't forget to also check local bookshops for voucher/gift card options!!

2. MUGS

I don't know about you lot, but I bloody love a mug. I like buying them for other people as much as I like adding to my own collection. If you know your bookworm is also a hot-drink lover, then a mug that references their love of books or their specific favourite is bound to go down well. Several sites offer bookish mugs for sale, including;

The Literary Gift Company - the above is an example of one offered by this site. They also offer several personalised options.

Redbubble - not only a great marketplace for unique mugs and other gifts, but also a great way to support the independent artists who sell their designs here.

3. CLOTHING

As well as mugs, The Literary Gift Company sells an array of t-shirts, baby-gros, ties, scarves and socks that could be absolutely perfect for your stylish reader. T-shirts are offered in unisex size small (36inch chest) to unisex XL (45inch chest) and are made of 100% cotton.

4. JEWELLERY

If you know the recipient of your gift is a lover of jewellery as well as books, this could be your best route. Jewellery is easily displayed when in public - more so than a mug - but is less 'in-your-face' than a t-shirt, scarf or tie. A pendant or bracelet referencing a book, or reading in general, is a good option for the bookworm who prefers subtlety.

The Literary Gift Company offer a range of bookish jewellery, including the above necklace. It is important to note, however, that some pieces are rather on the expensive side. You may want to reserve jewellery from here for the more special bookworm to you - perhaps a parent, sibling, or partner.

Chances are your bookworm is also something of a Potterhead (Harry Potter superfan, in leyman's terms), alternative fashion website Attitude Clothing recently began offering a modest range of HP-themed jewellery, at a slightly more affordable price than LGC.

5. MAKE-UP

Speaking of niches, indie cosmetics brand Shiro Cosmetics offers a vast range of eyeshadows, cheek products and lipglosses whose names relate to various fan-followings. While the names are certainly not limited only to books (movies, TV shows and anime are also featured), the line does offer shades with names that reference The Hunger Games, The Hobbit and the Game of Thrones series, to name but a few. The line is also mostly vegan and entirely cruelty free, with only natural and organic ingredients, meaning it should be suitable to almost everyone. Its low price point means it should also fit most budgets. Pictured is Shiro's eyeshadow in 'Lingered In The Twilight'.

Those are five last-minute bookish gift ideas for those of you who are stumped as to what to buy. Hope I managed to offer a helping hand to some.

Happy reading & Merry Christmas,

Jazz xo

COFFEE TALK #14 - ONE SEMESTER DOWN, THREE AND A HALF YEARS TO GO

2016-12-07T03:36:00.001+00:00

As 2016 draws to a close, so does my first semester at Uni. As of writing this blog post, I submitted my final piece of coursework for the term three hours ago, and am due to be heading back to my home town... home village... whatever... in just shy of a week. You know how they say that time flies when you're having fun? Well apparently, the same applies for when you're stressed to the eyeballs.

Kind of a lot has happened since I made my last life update-y post. I'll do the most exciting bit first, because I'm like that and I never can save the best til last. About a week ago I actually got to see my favourite band, The Levellers, live for the first time over at Barrowland Ballroom here in Glasgow. An amazing experience, one I've waited years for, made all the better by the fact that I went with my best friend, Carla. I won't subject you all to the torture of the videos, and consequently hearing me sing because that's a torture that few actually deserve. Instead, I'll simply share with you the only two pictures that I got of decent quality;

Gaz Brookfield - the support act - is every bit as cracking as The
Levellers, except he can't drink cider any more.

If you'd like to see more, you can check out my Instagram page, where I posted the less-than-par pictures, as well as the videos that I took at the gig.

Another fun - though admittedly more blurry - experience was actually hitting up my first proper nightclub since rocking up here in the wonderful land of Glaswegia. My beautiful friend Lara finally became a legal adult at the beginning of the month, and what better way to celebrate your homegirl hitting the big one-eight than a good old fashioned piss up? Might I recommend that, if you're ever in Glasgow, and especially if you're a member of the LGBT community, you hit up Polo Lounge in the merchant city. Drink and entry aren't expensive, and the music is fantastic.

Candid shot of us millenials doing what we do best

Let's play a game called: Spot the ex Emo Kid.
P.S: Don't worry about my arm, it's just eczema.

All in all, my first semester at university has been fun, if a little stressful. The work is surprisingly less horrifying than I expected it would be (though maybe that's cause I'm one of the lucky sods who had no exams this semester) and I've made some of the best friends I've ever had. Though I obviously miss some things about home, I'm really enjoying the independence of living away, and I honestly have no regrets about moving here.

Happy reading & merry Christmas,

Jazz xo

Cemeteries (Original Short Story)

2016-12-02T01:03:00.000+00:00

I like graveyards.

There’s an eerie calmness about being amongst the dead. A distinct lack of mindless chatter and other such distractions associated with living company make cemeteries the perfect place to get some work done. Besides, there’s nothing to dislike about the dead. They can’t hurt you or stab you in the back. They won’t gossip when you aren’t there or steal your lover. They simply lie in eternal rest, content in being silent, invisible company.

I do my work under a tree beside an obelisk immortalising the brave Mr Robson, who died a hero’s death at a tragically young age. He’s rather a good companion with whom to read books and an even better inspiration for writing them. He’s also, for the most part, rather lonely. In three years, I’ve not seen another soul anywhere near his memorial. It comes as a surprise when, for once, I don’t find myself alone there.

A young man – just a boy, really – is standing on the gravel footpath when I arrive. He’s studying the obelisk with intent, his forehead crinkled in confusion, like he’s struggling to read the inscription. He turns and smiles when he hears me approach.

“Hello,” he says, his voice heavy with the local accent.

“Hi,” I reply. I turn to look at the memorial too. “Beautiful headstone, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is,” he says, with a nod. There’s a long awkward while we both stand and stare at the granite tower before us. When I realise he’s no intention of leaving, I break the silence.

“A real tragedy, though,” I say. “Drowning. Supposed to be the worst way to go, isn’t it? And only seventeen too. That’s probably about your age, right?”

“Exactly my age,” he says. “You come here quite a lot don’t you?”

“I suppose I am,” I reply, though I’m surprised he knows that. “I’ve not seen you here before. Do you come often too?”

“I’m always around and about,” he says vaguely.

“I love it here,” I tell him. “So peaceful. The dead are fantastic company; wouldn’t you agree?”

“I like to think so, yes,” he smiles. “You’re the one who lays flowers here?”

“Sometimes, yeah,” I nod. “He doesn’t seem to get many visitors. I like to leave him something nice on occasion. Just in case he’s watching. I’d hate to think of him going forgotten.”

“Awfully kind of you,” he smiles again. There’s another silence, this one less awkward and more companionable. We both study the memorial for close to a minute, before I turn back.

“Sorry I didn’t catch your na-” I begin, but I’m caught short by the fact that I’m talking to empty space.

Without my hearing his footsteps on the gravel, the boy has gone.

*************

If you like what I post, hitting the follow button in the top right corner means the world to me. You can also find me on Instagram and Tumblr.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

Trypanophobia (Original Short Story)

2016-11-25T01:00:00.000+00:00

Carl Schroder has a crippling phobia of needles.

It began in his childhood when, at the tender age of four years old, he was dragged against his will to the doctor’s office and promptly stuck in the arm with a vaccination he was told was necessary.

Sharp scratch. Over before you know it.

Only three small beads of blood formed around the wound, and they were quickly wiped away and covered with an Elastoplast. He was presented with a lollipop and a Spongebob Squarepants sticker and called a good boy, brave boy. And still, he wept the whole way home.

Carl Schroder is a heroin addict.

It began in his teenage years when, at the tender age of fifteen years old, he was introduced to his mother’s new husband, an absolute brute of a man. They were married not a year when Carl began to seek something to simultaneously dull the pain and to help him forget. He was introduced to just that through a friend of a friend of a friend.

Sharp scratch. Over before you know it.

The first time, he was violently sick and struck about the back of the head for ruining the hearth rug. His headache the next morning was enough to see him swear off going anywhere near the stuff.

The second time, it felt like flying.

Sharp scratch. Over before you know it.

Carl Schroder turns his head away when he presses down the plunger, can’t bear the sight of gleaming steel piercing scarred and weathered skin.

He winces, hisses through his teeth at a split second of pain. But only a split second. And then – and then numbness, painlessness, the nothingness that he craves. He lives alone, his only company a flea bitten mattress propped up on four stacks of old phonebooks, the hypodermics he both fears and yearns for, and two anorexic-looking rats who have made a home for themselves inside the walls.

Sharp scratch. Over before you know it.

Carl Schroder is, despite everything, a clever man.

He’s always been aware that, one day, he’d turn his head away and press the plunger down for the last time.

As a child, he was told that his fear was silly, irrational, unfounded. Injections would never hurt him.

He always knew they were wrong.

Sharp scratch. Over before you know it.

In the flickering red light the neon signs shine through the dirty window, on a cloud of numbness, Carl Schroder dies.

**************

If you like what I post, hitting the follow button in the top right corner means the world to me. You can also find me on Instagram and Tumblr.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

Like You've Seen A Ghost (Original Short Story)

2016-11-18T00:50:00.000+00:00

“Where were you last night?”

The question – although pushy and intrusive – would be innocent enough, had it not come from my flatmate and best friend, who has been dead for the past eighteen months.

To say that Jimmy looks worse for wear is an understatement. He’s bare-chested and much thinner than I remember, with a gaunt, bony frame and sunken eyes, darkened by lack of sufficient sleep. His hair, once cropped military short, now brushes the top of his shoulders in a greasy tangle of curls. He looks almost like a dead man walking.

He watches me expectantly, waiting with his usual patience for my answer.

“I could ask you the same thing,” is all that I can manage. Here, he simply smirks, takes a sip from his favourite mug, the one I hadn’t the heart to throw away.

“I was here last night,” he replies. He always was a smart-arse.

“I thought you were dead,” it’s as much an accusation as a statement. He grins, smug all of a sudden.

“Good,” he says. “You were supposed to.”

“I went to your funeral,” I remind him.

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Cheers for that, mate. Didn’t really expect such a wild turn out.”

He is, of course, being sarcastic. Jimmy’s funeral had been a more than usually dismal affair – little family to speak of and even fewer friends had left the chapel empty, save for myself, two or three acquaintances and an older, bearded man who I took to be his father.

“Are you… y’know,” I shift my weight awkwardly from one foot to the other. “A ghost?”

Jimmy erupts into peals of laughter that spark in me a nostalgic ache. If nothing else, he’s got the most wonderful laugh. Like bells. Still, I can’t help feeling a little foolish. Something of a sceptic myself, I realise the question is silly. I’m just more than a little befuddled that the man I helped to put in the ground not two years ago is sitting in front of me.

“Don’t be so wet,” he says, when he finally manages to pull himself together. “I had to lie low for a while, that’s all. Stay off the radar.”

That much, I can almost understand. Jimmy had spent most of his adult life as a recluse, keeping to himself. This had changed in what I had believed to be his final months – late night meetings with friends whose names he neglected to mention, mysterious packages he was incredibly protective over, hushed phone calls that lasted for hours at a time. I suspected drugs at first, though he denied it vehemently when I confronted him. Drugs or not, it’s clearer than ever now that he was involved in something untoward.

“You could’ve told me,” I feel a little put-out. Jimmy doesn’t have many friends, but I’ve always considered he and I very close. He rolls his eyes.

“Think you’re missing the point of being ‘off the radar’, mate,” he sips his coffee and stretches, the bones in his elbow cracking as he does so.

“I wouldn’t have told anyone. I’d…I’d have helped,” I tell him, exasperatedly.

“Listen, I’m sorry,” he sighs. “I did what had to be done, given the circumstances. I can’t give you the details. Not yet, anyway. I still have a few loose ends to tie up. If there was any way I could’ve done it without upsetting you I would’ve. But there wasn’t. I appreciate it was a dick move. But I’m home now.”

“Right,” I nod, just trying to process it all. “Home… for good?”

“Home for good,” he repeats. Then, without my meaning to, I confess.

“I missed you.”

“I know,” he says. “I missed you too. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I reply, though it so clearly isn’t. I’ve a million and one questions to ask, but I know Jimmy well enough to know that he won’t answer a single one until he’s ready to.

“Anyway, you didn’t answer my question,” he says, smiling at me. “Where were you last night?”

***********************

Since I've proven myself to be absolutely shite in terms of reviewing books here on this blog, like an actual literary blogger should, I thought I'd take a whirl at sharing my own original short stories with you all. Some of them will be pieces I've written for my creative writing class at Uni, others will not. I hope you enjoy them, and any and all constructive criticism is welcome.

If you like what I post, hitting the follow button in the top right corner means the world to me. You can also find me on Instagram and Tumblr.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

COFFEE TALK #13 - THE GREEN, GREEN GRASS OF YAM

2016-11-05T22:05:00.001+00:00

Areet, marras. How'st fettel, eh?

Thoo probably know be noo that A took mesel up ter Scotland t'other month fer ter start Uni. It's been reet smart see far. Av telt thoo already 'ow A feel about classes and marras, and thoo can 'ave a deek at that here if yoower interested. Yan thing that 'asn't come up yit, though - bein' fre Cumbria, outisda Cumbria.

If you understood that then congratulations, and welcome! You're one of my fellow Mountain People - that being the translation of 'Cumbrian' from old English. If not, then you're in the majority; the people who, when you tell them you're from Cumbria, smile politely, assume you mispronounced 'Newcastle' and move on with their lives.

If you fall into the latter group, allow me to translate;

Hello, friends. How are you doing?

You probably know by now that I took myself up to Scotland in September in order to start Uni. It's been great so far. I've told you already how I feel about classes and friends, and you can see that here if you're interested. One thing that hasn't come up yet, though - being from Cumbria, outside of Cumbria.

If you're from Cumbria and have moved away or, indeed, have ever visited anywhere outside of the Lake County, you'll understand that there's a set of events and realisations that come with Cumbrian-ness. We're an odd people; this much is true. The local fashions tend to be roughly a decade behind those of the rest of the world, you're constantly within seeing distance of a sheep and why the hell would you drink clear lemonade when you could have it the colour of dehydrated urine instead? The outside world is a big and scary place if you're from the land of sheep and shit phone signal, and here's a list of some things that only Cumbrians who have moved away will truly understand.

1. WELLY BOOTS ARE NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE PUB ATTIRE

For me, nothing conjures up images of home quite like a roaring fire in a pub, set against a backdrop of greying skies and mountains, full of red-cheeked, windswept farmers in out-of-style jeans, flannel jackets and, most importantly, muddy Wellington boots. Being the place of mountain trails and muddy country walks, it's rare you'll happen across a Cumbrian who hasn't owned at least a handful of pairs of wellies in their lifetime. And what does one do after completing a 15-mile hike up a mountain and back down again? Go to the pub, of course!

Imagine, then, if you will, walking into a city pub to find that not only is nobody wearing wellies - wellies aren't allowed. Horrifying, I know.

2. NOBODY KNOWS WHERE THE HELL CUMBRIA IS

That's us in red

It's the second biggest county in the whole of the UK, and has some of the most breathtaking scenery in the entire world. Yet when you explain to people that you're from Cumbria - they just scratch their head, look confused, then smile politely and ask that damn dreaded question;

"So... that's near Newcastle, right?"

Sure it is. If you consider clear across the other side of the country to be 'near'.

Mind you, Geordie isn't the only thing you'll get mistaken for. One of the blessings of living in Glasgow is never again hearing the question "Which part of Scotland are you from?", and just a couple of weeks ago, the man in the Samsung shop mistook me for being Welsh. Thing is, there's just not much happening in Cumbria that people know of. Even saying 'The Lake District' more times than not results in a blank stare. Take advice from me; if anyone asks where Cumbria is simply tell them to head North West - if you hit the sea or you hit Scotland, you've gone too far.

3. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

One of the most strange and wonderful things about Cumbrians is the fact that we've developed our own fluent dialect - almost our own language. And it's easy to forget that other people don't speak it; until you greet one of your new, not-Cumbrian pals "Ow'do?" or point out that you're "sweating like an 'oor in chutch" or ask for a piece of "chuddy", and you're met with peals of laughter, plain confusion, or your conversational partner weighing up whether or not they should be offended. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to explain what a word meant so far - even trickier for words that don't really have a single-word translation like clarty and claggy.

4. YOU'RE MORE CUMBRIAN THAN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE

A strange phenomena about the Cumbrian people is that when they live in Cumbria, they try the damndest to sound as un-Cumbrian as possible; mostly for fear of sounding common (anyone remember the "Dead, eh?" bloke?). I've always prided myself on sounding not-all-that Cumbrian - something I've discovered might not be the case since leaving home. As mentioned in my previous point, I've had to explain what the hell I'm talking about on more than one occasion, and I've found that it really is quite Cumbrian to describe things as being "over yonder". If you're planning on upping sticks and moving away from Cumbria, take heed of this; you're definitely more Cumbrian than you think.

5. EVEN IF YOU'VE NOT HAD THEM IN AGES ,YOU WILL MISS XL CHEESE

Produced by Golden Wonder and only available amongst the not-so-sunny hills, XL Cheese are a food group unto themselves in Cumbria.

Crispy pieces of salty, cheesy deliciousness, they're a snack that most Cumbrians take for granted. I myself have always just accepted that they exist, even if I don't partake of them all too often. One of the first things I noticed, however, is the distinct lack of them in bars and pubs up here in Glasgow. You know that old phrase about absence making the heart grow fonder? Never is it truer than when you move a Cumbrian away from their XL Cheese.

6. SOME PLACES DON'T FLOOD EVERY WINTER

Think of Cumbria and you probably think of water; and not just in the persistent rain, abundant meres and waters and the Lake Districts singular lake (points to any non-Cumbrian who can tell me what that lake is!!). Quite unfortunately, images like the one above have become almost a symbol of Cumbria; while beautiful, the scenery of wide expanses of water and acres upon acres of rolling green fields and countryside leaves the area extremely susceptible to flooding, and quite severe flooding at that.

Nothing highlighted that to me more than when I checked my weather app earlier this week and was genuinely surprised to see that there aren't any flood warnings so far into the official winter, despite there being plenty of rainfall here. Perhaps a refreshing change for me, I can only hope that the same is true of home and that everyone manages to keep dry and safe this winter period.

So there you have it - a definitive list of things Cumbrians leaving Cumbria should know/understand. If you're from Cumbria, hopefully you found this amusing or helpful. If not? Hopefully you understand us just that little better now.

If you like what I post, hitting the follow button in the top right corner means the world to me. You can also find me on Instagram and Tumblr.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

STUDENT CUISINE - CHINESE STYLE CHICKEN PHOTOS TO COME

2016-10-24T23:59:00.000+01:00

I'll admit I've not been a student for too long, and so I can hardly call myself an expert on all facets of campus life. What I have become rather well-versed in, however, is student eating.

I know how hard it can be. Sometimes, Super Noodles and pasta just get boring, and Pizza Hut is a tempting minx. It's all too easy to give in and ordered take-out when you've eaten nothing but chicken ramen for two weeks straight. I'm guilty of it myself - I mentioned in my last post about my absurd overuse of Deliveroo. Takeout often seems like a cheaper and easier option than cooking for yourself, but that doesn't have to be the case. You can make tasty and (relatively) nutritious food for a fairly low cost out of your own home. My biggest offender in the takeout department is Chinese, so I thought I'd give it a whirl and try and match the Asian flavours myself. This recipe made a great tasting dish, similar to sweet and sour with a bit of spice.

Servings: 4 if served with rice, 2 if served alone
Price per serving: £2.12 approx if served alone, £4.24 approx if served with rice.
What you need:

3 skinless, boneless chicken breasts, diced (can be found in frozen bags of 8 at Aldi for £3.49)
1 white onion, chopped (bag of approx. 6 is 79p at Aldi)
2 spring onions, chopped (bundle of 6 is 44p at Aldi)
1/2 red pepper, chopped (loose red peppers 45p at Aldi)
1 red chilli pepper, chopped (pack of 6 mixed chillies, 55p at Aldi)
Dollop ketchup (60p per bottle at Sainsbury's)
Dollop honey (£1.25 per bottle at Aldi)
Dash dark soy sauce (47p per bottle at Aldi)
Long grain rice to serve (45p per bag at Tesco)

Directions:

I always find it easiest to make the sauce before I do anything else. Take a bowl, or a jug, or a tupperware container, or any other such vessel that is currently clean (just make sure it's not your flatmate's favourite mug, I can guarantee that's not the way to make friends). Combine the ketchup, soy sauce and honey in your chosen mixing apparatus. I wish I could give more accurate measurements than 'dollop' and 'dash', but this part is honestly down to preference. I like to add a little of each at a time and taste it periodically until I'm happy. You can also add any herbs or spices you thing work here - I like to add All Spice, but it works without too.
Heat some oil in a large pan - you don't need much, just enough to cover the bottom of the pan. A frying pan is probably preferable for this, but I used a large wok and it worked out fine. You could probably get away with using a saucepan too.
Add the onion, spring onion, pepper and chilli to the heated oil and cook for 2-3 minutes, until the white onion and pepper have begun to soften.
Add the chicken to the pan and cook for 8-10 minutes until browned on all sides. Remember, it's really important to make sure you cook chicken properly - especially if you're making this dish for friends, or to impress the hottie from down the hall. It's one thing to give yourself salmonella. Passing it to others is another. Sharing is not always caring.
Once the chicken is browned, pour over the sauce and really stir it through. Allow it to cook until the sauce is a little thick and sticky, and the chicken is cooked all the way through (you can check this by cutting the largest piece in half and checking the middle for pink spots). This shouldn't take any longer than 10-15 minutes.
While the chicken cooks in the sauce, boil your rice if using so both are ready to serve at the same time.
Once you're satisfied that the chicken is cooked through, strain your rice and serve both in a bowl.

Hope this helps out some of my fellow students - or even anyone on a budget. If you do try and make it, please let me know in the comments how it was!

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

If you like what I post, hitting the follow button in the top right corner means the world to me. You can also find me on Instagram and Tumblr.

COFFEE TALK #12 - BLOG? WHAT BLOG? + UNI ADVENTURES

2016-10-20T01:33:00.000+01:00

If there was a prize for the worst blogger ever, truly, it would be in my hands.

After swearing up and down to post on the reg again, I only go and bugger off for two months without even blinking in the direction of this website. But fear no longer, my sweet, sweet friends. Here I am, like the gruff and gorgeous Dean Winchester; risen from the dead for the umpteenth time and hear to espouse my lunacy at you once more.

If you follow me on Instagram or are a personal acquaintance and Facebook friend (where I assume the majority of my readership comes from), you'll be aware by this point that I got into my university of choice back at the end of August, and have been living in Glasgow for right around a month and a half by now.

UCAS, ya beautiful bastard!!

I said in my previous posts about Uni (which you can find here & here) that, although nervous, I was excited as hell to shoot off to a new and exciting place. Remember kindly, if you will, I've spent my entire life well and truly out in the sticks, with not much of anything happening around and about where I was. It'll come as no surprise, then, that moving to a city as huge and as bustling as Glasgow was a massive shock to the system. I'm still not quite accustomed to simply crossing the road when there's no cars moving, rather than waiting for the green man, or to the apparently constant stream of people up and down every footpath and pavement. A slightly more pleasant surprise is the proximity of the supermarkets here; with a Sainbury's, an Aldi and a Tesco all close by, I've never got too far to walk for groceries.

Another absolute life saver for uni life is an absolutely fantastic app named Deliveroo. I've eaten a shameful number of takeaways since arriving here, and all of them have been thanks to these bicycle-mounted, unsung heroes of the city centre. Truly a blessing for when you're too hungover or (let's be honest) too lazy to cook, Deliveroo will bring takeout food from restaurants that wouldn't usually offer a delivery service, including some big name brands like Burger King, Pizza Express and Jamie's Italian. I'm not entirely sure who developed the app but I currently owe my life (and the five pounds I've gained) to them.

Of course, uni isn't all about the location and the food. First and foremost, it's an educational institution, and what really matters is the course that you do. As you can see in the above picture, my primary course is English with Journalism & Creative Writing. So far, I'm loving it. I've learned a lot about critical and authorial methods that I'd not considered before, and my productivity levels insofar as reading and writing have increased at least tenfold. Churning out a short story every week and reading a book, play or series of poems every few has truly gotten me back in the literary mindset, and I couldn't be happier (even if they did have us read Shakespeare first). I've also decided to take an elective in History - a subject I always enjoyed, but fell out of love with midway through A-Level due, quite frankly, to one of the teachers being a complete and utter, irredeemable cockwomble. Taking the subject at University, however, has truly rekindled my love affair with the past. So much so that a 3000 word essay on how far the nineteenth century can be considered an age of improvement seems more like an exciting time filler than an arduous chore.

One of my biggest concerns before moving to Uni was that tutors and lecturers would be intimidating and unapproachable - a phenomena not exclusive to me, I'm sure. The titles of Professor and Doctor can be frightening to even the most hardy amongst us. However, I bring glad tidings; if you've not yet gone to Uni and this is a fear of yours, chuck it right out of the window. All of the staff here are super friendly, know what they're talking about and are always willing to answer questions that I have about assignments, no matter how stupid I think they are. The best thing? They actually treat you like the adults you are. I've previously expressed my disdain that they apparently refuse to do this in most Sixth Form institutions, and so to be addressed as an equal and with respect, rather than treated as an inferior and a child is a welcome and refreshing change.

Another, even bigger concern? I'd hate where I lived and wouldn't make any friends.

Mercifully, both of those have proved to be false worries.

To start, my flat is pretty great (even though it doesn't have carpets) and I couldn't ask for better people to live with. Three absolutely cracking girls, each with their own gorgeous personality, make Flat B6 feel like a warm and homely place. The place that it's in is also absolutely to die for - the second-to-top floor in the block leaves us with absolutely amazing views. Not to mention it's a less-than-five-minute walk from Necropolis, a colossal, hilly cemetery where I - being that I am something of a creepy weirdo - spend a considerable portion of my free time.

The view from my bedroom window

Slightly rainy, very aesthetic-y view from the kitchen

Of equal importance, I've made some great friends with some of the best people a girl can ever hope to meet. Immediately accepting and constantly encouraging, having such a close, kind, caring and open-minded bunch with whom to mingle has really been a godsend in getting through the first few weeks. We don't necessarily all share common interests - heck, we don't even all go to the same Uni - but somehow the group dynamic just works, and I don't think that I could've asked for a better group.

Yer a Quizzard Harry (Pub Quiz Team week 1)

Major shoutout to Silja, Mags and Co. for allowing us to take up semi-permenant
residence in the Union coffee shop, and for always saving us the table with the couches when
they can.

Sneak peek at our album cover

Throwback to the day Will and I sat on a bus for three and a half hours to visit Carla and
find some Highland Coos. West Calder, where?

"You look like the poster for a cheesey 80s TV show."

Fresher's week vibes (I'm more hungover than I look).

All in all, I'm really enjoying myself so far, and I'd strongly advise anyone who's worried about Uni to not be. It's great fun, and a learning and growing experience for all.

And if all else fails?

Chop all your hair off and dye it pink

Shameless vanity ft shower and polka-dot showercap.

If you like what I post, hitting the follow button in the top right corner means the world to me. You can also find me on Instagram and Tumblr.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

A TRIP TO THE CINEMA BOOK TAG / GUESS WHO'S BACK (BACK AGAIN)

2016-08-02T19:48:00.000+01:00

Although this title may have lead you to believe as much, I am, alas, not Eminem.

I am simply a lowly blogger, who's a bit shit at remembering to post. To jump gallantly to my own defence, July was an insanely hectic month for me. With a week long holiday, a house move and a trip to London that took up the best part of a week, the little time I did have, I spent too exhausted to actually sit down and even queue some posts to be published in my absence. But fear no more, reader mine, I am back at it again and this time, on the reg (fingers crossed).

As I've not finished any new books recently (though I'm not far off. Reviews to come, I promise!), I thought the easiest and best way to slide back into book blogging would be with the use of a tag. While perusing various other book blogs recently, I discovered a fun little tag created by the absolutely gorgeous and lovely Abigail, over at What Makes a Good Book. I decided I'd be a little bit cheeky and do it without being specifically tagged, as I thought it was a fun and innovative concept and some of the questions made me laugh. Without further ado, here are the questions:

1. Ice Blast: Name a book that exploded at the start, but slowly turned to slush.

Now there's no denying that Alice's Adventure's In Wonderland is an absolute corker of a novel. As a self-confessed weirdo, Wonderland is nothing shy of my dream home. But the ending of the book had me so annoyed that I'd like to build a time machine just so I can go back and tweeze every lustrous lock out of Lewis Carroll's head.

It was all a dream? Really, Lewis? Talk about a cop-out.

2. Premier: A book that you bought as soon as it was released.

It may be years old and intended for an audience much younger than I, but Jacqueline Wilson's Kiss has its own very special place in my heart. At the time of its release, Wilson was my absolute idol and I was blessed with the chance to meet her at a book signing in my closest Waterstones. Caps off to my dad, auntie and granddad who gallantly stood in line with my cousin and me for eight hours in the freezing cold so that we could pick up a copy of the then-new book and get it signed. This is one of those books that I'll never get rid of, no matter how old it gets and no matter how much I outgrow it.

What can I say, I'm a sentimental old bugger at heart.

3. Adverts: Name a book you wish would hurry up and get here already!

This question was probably the trickiest for me to answer. If you know me, you'll know I'm an old soul. The books that I truly fall in love with tend to be written pre-1900, and as such I rarely find myself gripped with anticipation for modern releases. That said, if you know me you'll probably also know I'm a touch obsessed with Maureen Johnson's Shades of London series. The title and release date of the fourth novel (which will complete the series) are both as-yet unreleased, and I really am rather desperate to find out more about it and, eventually, get my hands on the damn book. I just have to know what happens to my boy Stephen, okay?

4. Sneaking cheap sweets into the cinema: Name a book you didn't think worth the amount you paid.

Now if you've read my top 10 villains post you might be confused; this novels antagonist, the hideous and horrible Alton Turner Blackwood, placed rather high on that list. Don't get me wrong on this; What the Night Knows is a good book. It's just not Dean Koontz good. The quality of the writing just left me struggling to believe that this was churned out by the same man who wrote the Odd Thomas series, which, in my humble opinion, is one of the best literary horror series of the last century. I don't really regret buying this book, and I have reread it on two occasions. I'm just a bit miffed I dropped a whole £8.99 on it, is all.

5. Watching a guilty pleasure: Name a book from a new genre that you enjoyed.

Twenties Girl here acts as a place-holder for most every Sophie Kinsella book I've read. Generally, I'm not that enthralled by chick-lit. Not to knock the genre, I've just never really found it to be sufficiently stimulating to read. For some reason, Kinsella is the exception to this rule. Perhaps because she's so brilliantly and so cleverly funny, as well as breaking the trope of the heroine who's a bit of wet lettuce until her man comes to save her. If you're in any way trying to get interested in the genre, then Kinsella is absolutely the best place to start.

I hope you enjoyed this tag, guys, and I promise I'll try and get back into the swing of things.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

COFFEE TALK #11 - FINISHING EXAMS, LEAVING WORK, UNI PREP, MOVING HOUSE & HAIR ADVENTURES

2016-06-26T00:00:00.000+01:00

So I feel like this post is long overdue. As in, I haven't made a Coffee Talk post in about two months.

Whoops.

As you can imagine, a lot of stuff has happened in those two months. First and most prominently, I finished all of my A-Level exams. I sat my last one - LITB3 - on 17th June, and honestly? I've never been more relieved of anything in my life. While, as a whole, I've enjoyed Sixth Form, it was obviously a very stressful and a very time-consuming part of my life. I'm really happy that I now have more free time to do the things that I enjoy doing and to relax a bit. Not to mention that the stress-induced eczema that popped up on my forearms in recent weeks was all but gone within days of school being out. Now all that's left to do is sit out the nail-biting wait until results day in late August. I don't want to get too specific and jinx it all, but I'm fairly confident that I've gotten at least decent grades. Fingers crossed.

Of course, finishing A-Levels means that - for me, at least - Uni is the next big step. As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm as frightened as I am excited to be shooting off one way or the other across the country. That said, I'm fairly confident that I've at least gotten the grades for my insurance choice (touch wood), and some preparation has been necessary. I've my lovely mum to thank for most of this; as ever, she's the organised one while I'm living on Planet Jazz, in a state of organised chaos. She's started putting together a 'Uni Box' for me, comprised of all the necessary toiletries, including about eight thousand bottles of Alberto Balsam Raspberry Shampoo (absolute top hair product ever made, nobody will convince me otherwise) and literally every scent available in Superdrug's own brand shower gel. We've also begun stockpiling packs of instant noodles and UHT coffee cream. So far, the biggest investment for uni life that I have made is a beautiful blue wok, which I got using my last few days of Poundstretcher discount.

Another massive relief; I'm finally free of having to stand at that till twelve hours a week. No longer will I have to tell friends, oh no, sorry, I can't do anything, I'm working all weekend. Of course, I'll miss the money, but I've actually planned ahead for once in my life, and I'll only really have one month in which I'm not getting paid before I get my student financing, and I'm okay with that. The thing I'll miss most, I think, is the people I worked with. My particular branch of the store had some absolutely cracking staff members, and I really will be sad to see the back of them. Still, there's nothing stopping me popping in and visiting them whenever I'm nearby.

But, why Jazz? Why did you quit working there so long before you shoot off to Uni?

Well, I'm glad you asked me that. I'd like to spin you some fantastical story about the manager being an absolute hellbeast and me telling him where he can stick his poxy job, like the true hero I think I am. But, alas, 'tis not to be. It's a much simpler reason; we're moving a thirty-five minute train ride away.

Since I started doing my GCSEs many, many moons ago, my mum has said that she wanted to move back to the village where she grew up when I went off to uni. All of her family and most of her friends live in or around that area, and so it really makes sense for her to want to be there - since she and my dad got divorced, the only reason she's had to stay around here is my own and my brother's education. Of course, I'll be sad to be so far away from my friends and my paternal family. Nights out are going to be super tricky, as trains back to the village (mercifully it has a station) finish at 6PM and I cannot afford the taxi fair. But I'm trying to look at the positives - as we're moving in mid-July, we'll only be there for about eight weeks before I go off to university anyway, so it's not like it's any great Dickensian tragedy. If anything, it'll prep me for seeing my at-home buddies as infrequently as I'll see them at uni.

Now, arguably the most exciting thing that has happened in the past two months is this;

As of Tuesday night, and courtesy of the lovely Anna, my hair is now, quite literally, straight fire. Although the crappy lighting in my house refuses to pick up on the latter, there's a combination of red and orange tones and I am absolutely living for it. We first used Schwartkopf's Lightening kits in Max Blond to get my naturally dark brown hair fair enough to take the bright colours. Just for fun, here's how that looked;

Quick, call Vogue.

That slightly moist ginger hair, though.

We used four boxes of the ligthener, which may seem a bit excessive but bare in mind that I really have quite a lot of hair and it's pretty dark naturally. Once we had it to the desired lightness, we used three different dyes from La Riche Directions; Vermillion, Pillarbox Red and Coral Red. In total, it took about seven hours across two consecutive nights and I'm absolutely over the moon with the results.

The orange is slightly more visible here, but still not
true-to-life intense. I swear, the light in my house hates
me.

I know what you're all thinking. Four boxes of peroxide and three different dyes - when is your hair going to start falling out? Worry not, comrades. I've taken necessary precautions and my hair feels as healthy as it ever has; we combined the Directions dyes with a generous amount of Alberto Balsam's Coconut Conditioner - another hair product I'd highly recommend - so that it acted as not only a colourant, but as a sort of deep-conditioning hair treatment as well. I'll be sure to keep you all updated on the fading time etc. of the hair.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

OOTD - OUTFIT AS BLACK AS MY SOUL (I'M ON LOOKBOOK!)

2016-06-25T01:52:00.000+01:00

By the time you're seeing this, it's actually yesterday's OOTD, and I do apologise for not uploading it as quickly as I intended. Tommy Shelby called my name, and you really can't tell your husband no, can you?

This wasn't really a day where I did much. I helped my mum lug some stuff to the tip, and then we went out for my brother's birthday dinner. I wanted to keep it semi-casual, and it's been super warm out here recently. I liked the pairing of the black crop top with the black jeans, and I'm absolutely living for these shoes now that I've finally got them broken in. I'm also slowly re-becoming a hat person; I wore a lot of hats in my early teens and I'm not entirely sure why I stopped. I really like the way that they look on me; I especially love this simple black fedora, or a simpler black beanie, with my newly mad-coloured hair.

The black crop top I got from New Look last summer. Unfortunately, they don't seem to have this exact style in stock this time around. However, I have found very similar ones at Forever 21 and Missguided if you're after bagging one for yourself.

The jeans are the Black Straight Leg jeans from Dorothy Perkins. I took a pair of scissors to the knee myself to make them a bit funkier, and a bit more fitting to my wardrobe.

These shoes I am absolutely obsessed with. They're the Jeffrey Campbell Hawk Loafers, and unfortunately, I believe that this style with the black leather and silver studs has been discontinued. At least, I cant find a link to them online anywhere. Sarenza have the Hawk ZN's on sale at present - these are very similar, but not the same. I honestly had to have these shoes when I spotted them on Office's eBay store - they were on a killer sale, down from £105 to £38.50 inc. postage and packaging. I'd have been mad to pass that up, even if they were half a size too small and a son-of-a-bitch to break in.

The fedora is a relatively cheap one that I got from eBay. I will say that it's a little bit small for my head, but not so much that it's a problem. Also bare in mind that I have a pretty big head, so it would probably fit somebody of average cranial circumference.

If you liked this post, be sure to check me out on Lookbook, where I plan to do my best to post OOTDs as frequently as possible.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

THE BOOK LOVER'S TAG

2016-06-25T00:23:00.001+01:00

Remember what I said about regularly scheduled programming coming back now I've finished my exams?

Well, I've already fucked that one up, haven't I?

Thing is, I've hit a bit of reading slump recently. If anybody has any recommendations for things to read, I'll happily pick up anything (though I'd prefer no romances). I'm also low on ideas for Top Ten on Tuesday, so if you'd like to drop me some suggestions for what I could do, that'd be grand.

Now that I'm done make excuses for myself, I thought I'd do a tag which I can't believe I haven't stumbled across already. As per usual, I've not been tagged, nor do I have anybody to tag, so I'm doing this completely of my own accord. What can I say. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

I don't actually know who invented the Book Lover's Tag in order to properly credit them so if you do know, again, please do let me know in the comments section and I'll amend this. Without further ado, let's get started.

1. Do you have a specific place for reading?

Yes and no. Generally, I get most of my reading done in the bath. Up until now, that's been because bathtime has really been my only 'me' time, as the rest of it was taken up with revision and working a part time job. However, now that I'm done with sixth form and Poundstretcher, I suppose reading mostly in the bath is just a force of habit. I'm starting to grow out of the habit, and now also do a lot of reading in bed. I always like the look of the little reading hidey-holes with the masses of blankets and the fairy lights and what such, but as the self-proclaimed Queen of Claustrophobia, I know in my heart of hearts that I just couldn't handle being holed up in such a small space for an extended period. Perhaps a massive, empty field would be my ideal reading spot.

2. Bookmark or random piece of paper?

Are you ready for my ultimate sacrilege?

I'm a dog-earer.

I know, I know. Generally every book lover's greatest sin. But hear me out. I'm an old soul, and I like for my things to look old. I love broken spines and folded, yellowed pages. To me it doesn't look unsightly or unpleasant, it looks well-used and well-loved. Here's a pro tip; when buying books, always try second-hand and charity shops. The ones that look must thumbed-through and worn in are probably the ones that have been most loved, and the ones with the best stories.

3. Can you stop anywhere, or do you need to finish the chapter?

Always, always, always got to finish the chapter. And then just take a sneaky peak at what happens in the next one. And then the one after that. And a third one. And then the fourth...

4. Do you eat or drink while reading?

Anyone who knows me knows that I am rarely without a cuppa Joe buy my side, and this includes when reading. Generally I don't really eat whilst reading, unless I'm super into a book and find myself unable to put it down when meal times come around. While I like for my books to be dog eared and broken-spined, I'm not looking to get nasty old food stains all over them.

5. Music or TV while reading?

Neither. If I really want to focus on something, I'll have the disgusting old desk fan that I refuse to part with whirring in the background or, on the rare occasion it's too cold for even my icy, icy soul and the fan would give me actual pneumonia, I'll play the 'rain sounds' app on my mobile. Something I'll truly miss about this house is the rain on the roof of my attic bedroom.

6. One book at a time or several?

Usually several. As a kid, I always had two books on the go at once; my mandatory school reading book, and my own, at home, reading for pleasure book. A self-taught skill that actually proved useful to my life, it seems; my fellow literature students will understand the initial shock at being told you have to read and analyse five decently long books in three weeks. My insistence on taking on as many books as possible in the formative years has really aided my ability to fly through my Lit reading like no big deal.

7. Do you prefer to read at home or elsewhere?

Anywhere. I will read literally anywhere.

8. Do you read in your head or out loud?

Usually in my head, but I'll occasionally do it out loud in order to annoy my friends, particularly when I had mandatory reading texts from which I had to learn quotes. I found that incessantly spouting it to those around me really helped "Why, this is hell, nor am I out of it. Think'st thou that I who saw the face of God, And tasted the eternal joys of Heaven, Am not tormented with ten thousand hells, In being depriv'd of everlasting bliss?" and "Out, out brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, Who struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more." to stick in the ol' noggin.

9. Do you read ahead or skip pages?

All the time. My biggest bookish sin, in fact. I'm notorious for reading the last page of a book first. Strange, considering I hate spoilers.

10. Break the spine or keep it like new?

Break it. As mentioned previously, I like stuff that looks old and preloved. I love folding my books back on themselves to read them, too, as it makes them easier to carry and walk around with. There's just no sight more appealing to me than a shelf of dog-eared, yellowed, spine-cracked books.

11. Do you write in your books?

A force of habit of all Literature students, I think. Especially since taking the subject at A-Level, I have an affinity for analysing characters and plot points with a pencil. Also, I won't lie, I often underline certain words of whose meaning I'm unsure, and scribble in the definition, so I don't forget in the future. This method absolutely rescued my copy of A Clockwork Orange, I can tell you. I also enjoy scrawling in comments about the characters and narratives. Case in point; my copy of The Kite Runner contains the phrase 'What the fuck Assef?' a total of eight times.

So that's my Book Lover's Tag. Like I say, if you know who created this tag please do mention their name below and I'll credit them properly in this post. As usual, I'm tagging anybody who wants to do this tag over on their own blog :)

Happy reading,
Jazz xo

FILM REVIEW - CREEP (PLUS LIFE UPDATES AT THE END)

2016-06-17T19:15:00.002+01:00

Title: Creep (2014)
Genre: Found-footage horror
Starring: Patrick Kack-Brice, Mark Duplass
Director: Patrick Kack-Brice
Warnings: Graphic violence, references to rape, references to mental illness
My Rating: 4/5

I'll admit at the beginning of this review; I did not have high hopes for this film. At all. As a horror movie fanatic, I'm just about sick to the back teeth of 'found footage' movies. As far as I'm concerned, it's just beating a dead horse at this point. After glancing at a spoiler-free synopsis on the 'web, I couldn't help the groan that escaped me. At face-value, the film seemed so eye-rollingly cliche that I have no shame in confessing I went in expecting to absolutely loathe it.

I've learned, it seems, to not judge a film by its summary.

I was actually quite pleasantly surprised by Creep. The story follows Aaron, a film-maker responding to an ad posted by Josef, a cancer patient with just months to live who wants to document a day in his life so that his unborn child has something to know him by. However, when Aaron meets Josef he immediately notices the man's strange and erratic behaviour and, sure enough, discovers that all is not as it seems about his client, leading to a dark turn and some dire consequences for the videographer.

Like I said, totally cliché.

What absolutely saved this film, however, was the superb way in which it was executed. I literally cannot find anything to fault Duplass or Kack-Brice on in terms of their acting. They took a storyline and a genre which is - let's face it - entirely overdone and turned it into something that still managed to be genuinely unsettling. The fact that the entire film consists of only the two characters actually makes the found footage genre work a lot better, in my opinion. The illusion of raw footage really allows for the audience to experience Aaron's desperation and truly enhances the more frightening and unnerving aspects of the film. Aside from a couple of technical goofs that I can't explain without giving away spoilers, the film truly was done absolutely faultlessly.

For me, it gets a 4/5. Really impeccably carried out, just not my personal favourite sub-genre of horror. If you're into found footage movies, you'll absolutely love this and even if you aren't, give it a try. I guarantee it'll give you chills.

***

Some life updates.

So, if any of you are regular readers of my blog, you may have noticed that I've not been posting consistently for the past few weeks. This is largely due to the dreaded exam season. I'm happy to announce, however, that I've just sat my final exam today and so I need worry about those no more. I also have my final shift at Poundstretcher this weekend, so I'll be absolutely laden with free time and I should return to regularly scheduled programming. That said, July is set to be a pretty hectic month to me, with a holiday abroad, moving house, two birthday bashes and a three-day trip to London on my schedule. I will, however, do my best to get some posts queued up for you guys so you actually have something to read in my absence this time.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

FILM REVIEW - THE CHOSEN

2016-06-03T14:12:00.002+01:00

Title: The Chosen (2015)

Genre: Supernatural horror

Starring: Kian Lawley, Angelica Chitwood, Mykayla Sohn

Director: Ben Jehoshua

Warnings: Some graphic violence, blood, horrific/unsettling imagery, strong language, scenes of a sexual nature

My rating: 2.5/5

I'll preface this post with an apology about being M.I.A for over a month. Any student in the UK will know that exam season is basically upon us, and I've not made a post because between revising and working, I've had little to no time to read - or do much of anything, in all honesty. I didn't think anybody would be interested in repetitive posts about "look guys, I made a mindmap" "Hey look, another mindmap!" "Guess what I made? Surprise! It's a mindmap."

I did, however, allow myself a break during this week's half term and perused Netflix for something satisfyingly horrific to watch. Been a scare-junkie as I am, I've already watched a good 95% of the horror movies that are on Netflix. This one had been on my watch list for a while, but I was hesitant to click the play button because of the poor reviews it had received, both on Netflix and online. After watching the 2005 remake of The Amityville Horror for the umpteenth time, however, I decided I needed a change from Ryan Reynolds' face, glorious though it may be. So I bit the bullet and put this one on.

Sad to say, I see where all the critics are coming from.

The first alarm bell for me should've been that the film stars Kian Lawley, a YouTuber. Now, I've nothing against Kian - in the few videos of his that I've seen, he seems like a perfectly nice bloke and he's actually not a terrible actor. I just find that, historically, YouTubers making horror films doesn't tend to go well (Shane Dawson's Smiley, anyone?). Unfortunately, this film was no exception.

As a concept the storyline is actually fairly interesting. It centres around the demon Lilith, Adam's first wife who was shunned out of the Garden of Eden and has her mouth sealed shut and her womb cursed, so that she may never bear children. Embittered and angry, she stalks the earth stealing away the souls of children and taking them back to Hell with her. In the context of the film, once Lilith has decided she wants a child's soul, she will take it within six days - unless she is offered a sacrifice of six other souls directly from the child's bloodline.

The film focuses on Cam (Lawley) a young man who, upon visiting his sister Caitlin (Chitwood), a recovering junkie who is only allowed to see daughter Angie (Sohn) in secret, hears a fight in the flat next door. When he goes to break it up, the man escapes and Cam is immediately berated by the woman, Sabrina, with confusing statements like "He was the last one" and "She's going to take my baby." When Cam retrieves Angie from the now-missing baby's bedroom, he discovers her acting strangely and she immediately falls ill. Cam demands Sabrina give him answers, and she passes on a book which explains that he must sacrifice six other family members in order to save Angie from being taken by Lilith. Cam and Caitlin are then left with the most difficult of decisions - which of their relatives are they willing to kill?

Now as I said, the storyline itself has a lot of potential and the acting in the film is actually pretty decent. The execution of the story, however, leaves quite a lot to be desired as far as I'm concerned. For a start there are a lot of questions that remain entirely unanswered throughout the film, mostly centring around a mysterious nun whose purpose, aside from egging Cam on to kill, is never really fully explained. The final scene of the film - again, involving the nun - also makes very little sense unless Terror Films are planning on making a sequel - which, as far as I can tell, they aren't. The special effects also aren't great. I understand that the movie wasn't a high-budget, Hollywood deal but honestly? The SFX here looked like they're more befitting of a cheesy 1980s B-Movie than a 21st century indie flick. To be honest scenes that should've been scary or unsettling are just made kind of humorous by poor SFX. The score is also not the greatest choice for such a film - even in other bad horror movies I've watched (a prime example being Del Toro's Mama), the music has at least built tension if not put me on edge. Unfortunately just didn't cut it in this film.

In conclusion, I wouldn't say avoid this film. It's decently entertaining, just don't go into expecting anything frightening. Again, Kian seems like an absolutely cracking lad and I absolutely wish him the best in any creative projects he peruses. This one just didn't cut the mustard for me, I'm afraid.

Happy reading,

Jazz xo

All That Jazz

HAIR TRANSFORMATION: DEMENTED BADGER TO MAJESTIC FIRE BIRD

BOOK REVIEW: THE MAGICIAN'S WORKSHOP VOLUME ONE

EASY READERS/BOOKS ON THE GO

COFFEE TALK #16 - EAT WELL ON A STUDENT BUDGET

NEW-RELEASE READING WISHLIST 2017

PRODUCT REVIEW - CLARINS SKINCARE

COFFEE TALK #15 - GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE 2016.

SHOE REVIEW - JEFFREY CAMPBELL SPIKED HAWK FLATS

BOOK REVIEW - THE LONEY

THE CHRISTMAS TAG!!

CHRISTMAS SONG BOOK TAG

LAST MINUTE BOOKISH GIFT IDEAS

COFFEE TALK #14 - ONE SEMESTER DOWN, THREE AND A HALF YEARS TO GO

Cemeteries (Original Short Story)

Trypanophobia (Original Short Story)

Like You've Seen A Ghost (Original Short Story)

COFFEE TALK #13 - THE GREEN, GREEN GRASS OF YAM

STUDENT CUISINE - CHINESE STYLE CHICKEN *PHOTOS TO COME*

COFFEE TALK #12 - BLOG? WHAT BLOG? + UNI ADVENTURES

A TRIP TO THE CINEMA BOOK TAG / GUESS WHO'S BACK (BACK AGAIN)

COFFEE TALK #11 - FINISHING EXAMS, LEAVING WORK, UNI PREP, MOVING HOUSE & HAIR ADVENTURES

OOTD - OUTFIT AS BLACK AS MY SOUL (I'M ON LOOKBOOK!)

THE BOOK LOVER'S TAG

FILM REVIEW - CREEP (PLUS LIFE UPDATES AT THE END)

FILM REVIEW - THE CHOSEN

STUDENT CUISINE - CHINESE STYLE CHICKEN PHOTOS TO COME