The Boss Lady

Most Improved!

2011-12-16T10:51:00.000-08:00

Ashford Park Elementary 2nd Grader MOST IMPROVED!

Salem got the "Most Improved" award yesterday at her school. She accepted the award at an assembly that the entire student body attended, she was so proud. I am so proud too, as school has been something of a struggle for her. It's a relief to see she IS trying to focus and IS making a difference with her studies. This little award is just what she needed to maintain her path, make her feel good about herself, and proves to her that her efforts aren't unnoticed.

Yay Salem!

Now, Mommy just needs to remember to have her remove the yellow gum from her mouth before I shoot her photo. I swear to you, her bicuspids are not solid butter.

The Situation with the Elves

2011-12-08T06:08:00.001-08:00

Adding to the complication with DNA and Santa's elves ...

Along with a few typical items a kid would ask Santa for Christmas, she has come up with a couple that can not be found in a store, on Etsy, Ebay, or even by massive searches using multiple key phrases within our all encompassing mother: google. It's going to take a little creativity on Santa's part to fulfill her item specifications.

I asked her to sit down and make a list for Santa, I gave her a catalog of toys and pulled up a few stores on the interwebs to browse then indicate choices on the hello kitty notebook paper she had prepared for the task. She bulleted a few from the Toys R Us catalog but then she stopped short.
"Mom?"
me: "Yes? How's your list coming?"
her: "Well, I have a problem. I think that Santa might get confused by one of the presents I want."
me: "How so?"
her: "I want a guinea pig that is motorized. You know, that has wheels and moves around on the floor. But, I'm worried that Santa will think I want a ZuZu pet!"
me: "Well, find it online and we'll print it. Then we can put it with the letter!"
her: "It's not online mom. It's something the elves will have to make for me in their workshop!"

*Great. Of course my kid wants toys that have to be built to spec.

her: "And I want a Coraline with a raincoat, but I don't want the button eyes, I want the regular eyes. She needs to not be a tiny plastic statue that you have to keep on a shelf, She needs to be big and not have a cloth face!"

*After she went to bed, I searched and searched for said Coraline. I found the figurines she was talking about not wanting. I found some homemade dolls folks have posted in their Etsy stores. Some were cool, but I'm not willing to spend $70.00! Not to mention they had fabric faces. Usually I'd find a way to make a doll, but I gotta tell ya, I just don't have the strength this year. I can see it now, molding a Coraline face out of some kind of resin - and ending up with something that looks more like hap-hazard combination of Elijah Wood and the Dutch Boy.

My solution was to have the 'elves' draw a portrait of Coraline. They even signed it "North Pole". On the back, Santa made sure to address it himself. In hind-sight, I find it hard to picture Santa penning anything in glitter, ooops. I guess I'll rely on the old adage of "it's the effort and thought that counts"....right?

"Coraline in her raincoat" for: Salem From: The Elves of the North Pole

Santa goes a little nuts with the glitter pen.

8th Annual Skate Deck Art Show

2011-12-02T06:23:00.001-08:00

View my skate deck -->

Santa's Elves and Genetic Engineering

2011-11-29T07:44:00.001-08:00

Chuk and Salem were having a little conversation about what she'd like for Christmas. She told him she thought she might ask Santa for a "live animal". He answered her by addressing the fact that they already had enough live animals in the house, suggesting that adding more was probably not a good idea.

Her response: "Well, I probably couldn't do that anyway, because I don't think Santa's elves could make that DNA."

Skate Deck Art Show

2011-11-28T10:59:00.000-08:00

I will be showing a piece at the 2011 Skate Deck Art Show this Saturday 12/3 @dooGallery. $10 Door Donation, Refreshments, Raffle Prizes, Bands, & DJs.

Proceeds to be given to Toys For Tots.
Receive a free raffle ticket for each toy you bring and donate to Toys for Tots.

http://www.doogallery.com/doogallery/Skate_Deck.html

Addendum - Cupcake Show moved to 11/19/11

2011-11-14T09:46:00.001-08:00

The cupcake show I'm in has been moved to Saturday the 19th at 8:00pm from Friday the 18th. Thank you!

2011-11-14T09:45:00.001-08:00

Mmmm...Cupcake Art Show

2011-11-02T06:17:00.000-07:00

November 18th, 8pm

dooGallery

dooGallery.com

I will be showing a new piece in this group show. Come out, see art and taste some yummy cupcakes!
You may find the perfect piece of art for the pastry-lover in your life...just in time for the holidays.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

Hey there Halloweenies!

We kicked off this Halloween season by making certain to perfectly roast the pumpkin seeds from our jack-o-lantern. (Man, things sound sooo exciting at Chez Norfleet!) In years past, I either tossed them out with the punkin' guts or burned the heck out of them in the roasting process.

Feeling a little kitchen-creative, I tossed them with some curry, cumin, olive oil, and salt and pepper - forecasting them as a culinary delight. Pulling the roasted seeds from the oven, they looked scrumptious.

However...

The salt didn't stick, the curry tasted extraordinarily bitter, and the texture was worse than chewing bark directly off a crepe myrtle. Not only were they a gastronomic disaster, but the noxious odor that formed in my apartment from roasting cumin and curry has almost made my living space unbearable. It's like a giant pumpkin fart in there and it hasn't gone away since! I may resort to getting the whole place repainted just to get that stink out.

Salem loved carving her pumpkin though, but I may retract the idea of turning our jack-o-lantern into pumpkin pie, based on the seed roasting fiasco.

Darnell, the cross-eyed Jack-O-Lantern and mother of stinky, badly roasted seeds.

Last night was a fantastic trick or treating time! We went to Salem's Dad's house like we do every year and had a blast. Salem dressed Frankie Stein, a character from Monster High, complete with a black and white wig adorned with a built-in bump-it.

Salem complaining about something.

Avery, Matt (with his tiny camera), Salem (with her tiny 'tude) and Sage.

As noted, Matt has taken this tiny camera everywhere. This little thing is actually a helmet cam and can be attached to anything. He's been hooking it up in the car while we drive to film en-route conversations...which to our surprise, are quite entertaining. We need our own show.

Avery and Sage

Jay and Frances, Avery's adorable parents.

Chuk (uber scary!) and Salem.

A hilarious close-up of Salem's reaction to her dad's costume. She looks both intrigued and apprehensive. Classic.

Brook Run Skate Park, Meet Fearless Salem

2011-10-19T06:23:00.000-07:00

Saturday, Salem's buddy, Aiden called to ask if she wanted come see him working on his rad moves at the skate park.

As it was our maiden voyage to this park, we went under the notion that we'd sit on the sidelines and observe the action ensue. However, from the moment we arrived, she was awestruck.

Pestering me consistently, she rambled on and on, "I wanna try that!... I bet I could do it!... Man mom, I just wish we brought my rollerskates!... This is boring just watching these dudes have fun!"

Overhearing her, Aiden offered to grab the board he outgrew from the car to see if she could balance on it. Granted, we weren't prepared for her to ride that day, as you can see she's sans the recommended padding, but alas, she's got a helmet on! (Judge if you will, but seriously, we weren't prepared. Next time she'll have on her roller derby pads, I swear. When I was a kid, nobody wore helmets, pads, or even the proper footwear. Kids these days look like crash test dummies and probably move just as freely. Safety comes at a price, I suppose.)

She hopped on the board and with Aiden's help, she gained her confidence nearly immediately. Not more than a half hour into it, the kid was riding down ramps and keeping up with Aiden! As I mentioned, he got a new board, an upgrade in size, which he was learning to ride that day. Since Salem showed so much enthusiasm and an instant love for skating, he gave her his old board "for keeps".

How saa-weeet is that? Such a thoughtful, nice boy! Aiden, Salem, and her buddy Sage had a blast riding their boards much to the chagrin of the older punks at the park.

Mr. Cool Ice

2011-10-13T06:04:00.001-07:00

Mr. Cool Ice
Originally uploaded by Ashley Norfleet

New work for you pumped up kids!

Mr. Cool Ice - Acrylic on canvas
Ashley Norfleet 2011

Cottonball Kid

2011-10-04T12:54:00.000-07:00

Just a few recent videos of Salem and her antics:

Decorating Around the Lollipop Air

2011-09-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

As I have come to realize and finally accept, I am now calling my current residence "home". Moving from my house to a third floor apartment wasn't what you'd call a big Win, in my opinion. I've had to do some adjusting and rebuilding within my personal life which in-turn left little reserves for decorating.

Over the weekend I went a little nuts with the stack of Bed Bath and Beyond 20% Off coupons that had been piling up on my bar counter. I needed a new shower curtain and found one with a huge image of a brown barren tree, a new duvet cover and pillow shams, candles, place mats, and tons of picture frames. I love my duvet cover, it's white with embroidered stylized brown and silver leaves. I topped it all off with the purchase of a cafe au lait textured accent pillow. Man, now I feel all lame talking about this, but I am proud of my purchases.

Salem came back from being with her father and was shocked and amazed by my home improvements. She loves it when she discovers new household items...she just gushes. It's adorable. She went on and on over my new shower curtain, rambling her way out of the bathroom she stopped short at the sight of my new bedding.

"Mommy! Your new bed covers are...beautiful! It's like all the leaves from the tree on your shower curtain blew off and landed right on your bed!"

Later we were leaving the house when Salem stepped outside, lifted her head and breathed in a hearty proud breath. "Ahhhh. It smells just like the inside of the lollipop wrappers they have at the doctor's office out here."

I began sniffing the air for myself, trying to determine if I agreed with her assessment. That's when I realized I wouldn't be able to distinguish the scent of the inside of a lollipop wrapper from the doctor's office with the inside of a lollipop wrapper from the bank, or the mechanic, or the ones from trick or treating. I am clearly not an authority of candy wrapper scents and their geographic whereabouts.

Derby Brats Debut!

2011-09-11T08:13:00.000-07:00

Last night was Salem's first roller derby bout. She may have been the youngest and the littlest kiddo in the pack, but she still proved that she can rock the rink. For one round, they chose her as the jammer, and she skated very well. I have to keep in mind that the kid could barely stay upright the first several times we went skating. I'm amazed at how much she has improved over the summer.

Hooray for Salem! She's an official Derby Girl #7!

On another note, I had a little "Come to Jesus" revelation about myself last night.

When I was a kid and playing organized sports, (I played lacrosse, yeah, not nearly as cool as roller derby... but I digress) my mother would come to the games and she'd yell and scream to support my team. Her voice would always stand out over everyone's - effectively embarrassing the living hell out of me. Over time I learned to accept those pipes were a solid fixture at my games - even the other teams, year after year, would take note of her. But looking back, she wasn't received negatively at all, it was just Team Spirit Candie Norfleet blazing a trail with her cheering in support of my team.

I say all this because the voice you hear in the above video I swear, isn't mine. It's the very same voice and inflection of my mother, just coming from my mouth.

I'm glad she got to be with us last night to see Salem kick some ass.

Weekend Forecast

2011-09-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend is Salem's first roller derby bout! I'm really excited to see her as "Dakota Frightening" riding around the track and struttin' her roller-skills. I think one of the main reasons she loves derby so much is that it's a spectator sport. The gal loves an audience!

Speaking of Lil' Miss Hollywood, over the weekend, she and her buddies Cali & Skyland were supposed to be playing outside, fishing in the creek, and enjoying the weather. Alas, the girls decided it was a better use of their time to stay indoors and adorn themselves in gaudy ensembles made up of feather boas, hoop skirts, and giant wigs possibly from the Dolly Parton Collection.

Salem and her hamminess:

That's right guys, I expect my dressing room to be outfitted with nothing but Funyuns and an endless supply of blue Fla-Vor-Ice. Now, get on it!

Later, we went home where Matt's dog, Gracie was soooo happy to see us. Now, I'm not a dog person. In fact, I'm not even an animal person. I take after my father on this front. Unlike dad, I am able to tolerate them and on the rare occasion am able to let my guard down and learn to love them. Again, this is rare. Yeah, go ahead and be all self-righteous - judge me for not being an animal person... oh pshaw, who cares! I don't expect you to like the things I'm into either, I mean who likes Morrissey, beets at every meal, or living sans television? Each to her own.

Getting back to it...Salem and Gracie have developed a special girl-bond. When I put Sal down for bedtime, Gracie will quietly enter the room and curl up right next to her bed and sleep all night. It's adorable. Gracie and I have become quite close too, she actually lets me brush her and enjoys it. Matt is still marveling over this one.

Gracie loving on Salem

Door Knobs - a fashion statement

2011-09-01T06:47:00.000-07:00

We were at Mommo's yesterday visiting and having dinner. Salem was updating her with all the new activities she's involved in and how she's doing at her new school.

Salem has loved being a part of her roller derby team, recently they had team photos taken. She, not surprisingly, is the tiniest one of the bunch, sitting amongst the other gals proudly displaying her match-stick legs and knobby knees. Mommo glanced at the photo and immediately chuckled to herself, "Well, there's Salem! Or should I say 'little Charlie'...those knobby knees and all."

For one reason or another, Salem misunderstood what Mommo said. She heard "Door knob boobs" instead of "knobby knees." Don't ask, I have no clue how she arrived at that arrangement of words.

Mommo laughed, "Salem! Door knob boobs? What on earth are you going on about? You don't even know what boobs are, do you?"

"Yes I do!" she replied. "They're the things that hold your dress up!"

Derby Brats - black team 2011 (Salem is in the pink bandana)

Mommo and Salem - the kid can nearly fit into my heels...but is that really hard to believe?

Schoolbumps

2011-08-19T06:16:00.000-07:00

Salem has had a rocky start to her 2nd grade year. Admittedly she's never been a huge fan of school, and to make matters worse, she started at a whole NEW school with a new curriculum this year. Montessori is a great program for kids, just not for my kid. She needs more structure, as leaving her to her own devices during the 'learning' hours of the day have proved unwise. She ends up turning her school-day into "Salem's Program of Creative Insanity and Social Over-Activity", otherwise known as inattentive ADHD.

I know it's hard to start back to school from a summer of fun; it's even more difficult to launch into a new environment with new teachers and kids to negotiate. I've had to cut the kid some slack. As we were sitting in the long line at car pool this morning she was chattering away at what we were going to do after school. I rounded the last turn, entering into the home stretch of the line when she quietly stated, "This is when I get the "frights".

"The frights?" I asked.
"Yeah, the frights. I get all nervous when I'm about to get out of the car and go inside. It's scary!"
me: "You'll be ok, kiddo. You've gotten over the hump of going back to school and you know what?"
her: "What?"
me: "I'm proud of you. This stuff is easy for you, heck, you're a professional now at being a second grader."
her: "I am! I can handle this, it's no big deal!"

And with that, she jumped from the car, yelled "I love you mom!" and headed into school.

On another note:
She misses her friends at her old school, but we have vowed to keep in touch as much as possible. Tee, my good friend and mother of one of Salem's best buddies, snapped a few cute shots of them playing this week:

American Gothic - Elementary Style

Salem eats!

It look like Sage has gotten his acceptance letter into Yale a few years premature.

Back to School

2011-08-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

To mark the end of summer break, my friends Venessa, Teresa and her son, and Salem and I went on a Chattahoochee adventure. We did the whole redneck tubing thing once again, but we all had a great time. Venessa, in classic style snapped photos of our trip along the way, despite the danger of dropping her phone in the water. I'm impressed by her skills! Teresa, who we've learned has an apparent fear of fish, held up nicely and had quite an enjoyable time. I got to relax and enjoy the company of people I love to be around. It was a blast.

Venessa shot a cute pick of Teresa and I. Too bad I don't have one with Venessa!


Venessa's cute pic of Salem and Sage making a Chattahoochee River mud castle. It was as gross as it sounds.


I took Salem to get a milkshake yesterday. She loved it so much, she called it "Metal".

Today is the first day at Salem's new school. She and I got up early to prepare and be all ready with school supplies, new uniform components, a belly full of 'first day of school' breakfast, and walked her in - she was so confident and grown up. Once in the classroom, she shooed me away with a quick kiss, switching her focus on the new faces in the room. I'm so proud of my kiddo, she is growing up to be such a self-assured, strong, and confident young lady!

School uniform - Khaki skirt, white polo. I thought uniforms would be annoying to negotiate, but turns out it solves a battery of "Salem-school-couture" struggles we have in the morning. She can adorn herself in whatever ensemble she wishes to fret over - on the weekends!

Walking up to school - Her backpack still just eating her up. But! her 7-year-old well visit at the doc proved she is filling out this year! Finally, she has graduated from the 5th percentile in weight to the 30th! Way to go Sally!

The 411 On Body Wraps

2011-07-26T13:37:00.000-07:00

I got a Groupon for 8,000% off a body wrap. Seemed like a grand idea, and ahem, it's indeed bathing suit season!

I went in pretty blind, as I had no clue what was about to unfold. It wasn't the pool of mud with candles lit around the tub like I thought (and I hoped it would be). It was these large sheets of rubber that wrap around the body and give off inferred heat making you sweat like a June bride on a feather bed. Let's just say that was one of the more unpleasant 60 minutes I've endured since the History of Colonial American Portraiture course I took in college.

1. It was confining

2. It got VERY hot

3. They gave me bottled water to drink, I downed it in 30 seconds. The second bottle they brought, they put it out of my reach by mistake (i hope they're not that cruel). That was pretty frustrating, like having a can of food on a camping trip but no can opener.

4. They played a movie for me, it was so bad, but I was a captive audience and had to sit there staring at it. Ashley is a never-napper.

5. It got HOTTER - so hot that I began to get nervous, it didn't seem normal and I felt like passing out.

6. When it was over and I started to leave, I saw white, then fell down. I don't think I passed out, but it was embarrassing.

7. I learned that I'd rather take a DUI course on a Saturday with a hangover than sit through another body wrap session.

A Note for Bacon Street

2011-07-25T16:00:00.000-07:00

I said what I needed to say, this train is moving on. Clearly there are better and more important things that deserve our focus.

Cheers,
Ashley

USPS Brings More Birthday Treats

2011-07-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Salem got a few things in the mail in the form of birthday wishes and gifts.

1. Auntie Stephanie got her a new earring holder to hang on her wall adorned with all kinds of new earrings to wear! This was a BIG hit.

2. Nana Suzanne sent her a box filled to the top with teddy bears. After we counted them all, Salem announced, "There's seven bears here! Just like how old I am!"

3. Sayre, my adorable niece sent her a hand-drawn birthday card with a heart-shaped little girl face on the cover. It's too cute. When Salem opened it, she said, "Mom! Wow, Sayre is a really good artist!"

Yeah, so you can see my hack-job on Salem's bangs in the photo above. I don't know why trimming her hair proves to be such a challenge for me. I've been told when I cut her hair, she ends up looking like Mamie Eisenhower. (Minus the hatchet face)

Birthday Chompers

2011-07-18T12:56:00.001-07:00

Salem talks about her birthday and surprises me with something unexpected.

Happy Birthday To My Lovely Lady

2011-07-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

Salem's Floridian Odyssey is coming to a close this weekend. I am driving my happy bum down to see her today after work. (tick-tock, come on 12:00!) She has been gone for nearly 2 weeks, and I'm dying to get down there, scoop her up, squeeze and kiss on her little face until she can't stand it any longer.

My father has a last hurrah for her planned in the form of a magician themed birthday party. She turns seven tomorrow. Yep, you read that, seven years old.

Our lives have drastically changed in the past 7 years, we've lived and grown, learning lessons and developing our unbelievable bond. The years seem like they have gone by within two shakes of a lamb's tail. But enough time has passed, so much so, that it's hard to remember not having her in my life.

She starts at a new school next month, entering second grade. She has been practicing her math and reading this summer, I've been impressed with her comprehension and huge amount of progress she's made in her studies. No more threats of hobo camp are needed around here! Thankfully, as that would be one heck of an elaborate set design.

This year, she has climbed mountains, been on a photo shoot, surfed on cardboard, witnessed the great Atlanta Polar Ice Cap, has started looking more and more like her mommy, became a kitchen beautician, developed a taste for the stage, survived the 1st grade, developed a recipe for creating a unicorn, got her ears pierced, and has quantified for us how her Salem-Brain operates.

Happy birthday to my wonderfully creative and charming lil' lady. The feelings for you in my heart have transcended within these seven years. I have arrived at a loss of words for how important you are to me, as they far surpass and completely dwarf the term love.

Cotton, the company dog and I created a happy birthday video for you too....

Camp Pensacola 2011

2011-07-11T06:22:00.000-07:00

Salem is loving her trip to Florida this year! She went deep sea fishing with her dad, and had a blast. He said to her, "Now that's 5 hours of fishing, kid." She responded with, "No dad, that was 5 hours of AWESOME!"

She's now visiting Poppie and Mamae (my dad and his wife) and having a great time sailing, beaching, going to parties, and visiting Barbara's mom. Salem calls her Grammy, just like what I call my grandmother. I think when she was younger, there was confusion and she thought Barb's mom WAS my Grammy. But - does it matter? Nah, a Grammy is a Grammy to any kid I suppose and we love both our Grammies!

Out to Lunch

2011-07-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Summer Vacation,
Salem has embarked on a 2 week Floridian odyssey while I labor away at my regular employment schedule. What? Me? Jealous of my daughter's lengthy vacation? Naaaah.

She's with her father for the duration of this week, then it's off to her Poppie and Mamae's for another week. My father and his wife are ecstatic for her visit, it's just a little hard for me wrap my brain around such a lengthy time for her to be away.

I spoke to her today at length so she could regale me with stories of deep sea fishing excursions, how she's been enjoying the sandy beaches, dining on fresh bounty from the ocean, and her poolside antics. In comparison, I've been updating websites, working on freelance design projects during the 4th of July holiday celebration, and have been in a general mood of despondency.

Two weeks is a long time.