Getting TUITE

At it again!

2019-02-25T19:30:00.000-08:00

I have been hoping to find my blog and add a post to share. I cannot believe that it has been years...yes years since I have shared with you. Now that I have finally found it, I will be attempting to update and post on a regular basis. There are several things that I want to share including my time in Tiffin, my weightless journey, my life as the mom of a dancer and most importantly, the value of being a child of God. There is so much more, but that is where we will start. Stay tuned and I pray that my reflections will be a positive impact on your life!

Baltic Amber changed my life!

2016-03-09T14:50:00.001-08:00

I don't like taking medicine for aches and pains. But as I have gotten older, some of my joints were a bit stiff in the morning and a day full of activity leaves me sore. Not to mention the pain from fatigue and tension. I felt as though my only choice came in a bottle with a dosage in the label.

Doing some research for natural alternatives, I came across Baltic Amber. I was skeptical. How could a simple necklace, albeit pretty, take away my pain?

Lucky for me, I was able to purchase a necklace for less than $30 with shipping! Even if it didn't work, I would have a pretty new bauble to wear.

Let me tell you, it worked almost immediately! After a few weeks, thinking it was a fluke, I took them off and found that the pain was returning.

That sealed the deal!!

I love my Baltic Amber necklace and have no plans to remove it anytime

soon!!

#nutrishdish Rachel Ray feeds my Dog!

2016-02-17T14:26:00.001-08:00

So I was chosen as an #influenster to let my pup, Tucker Doubt (say that quick!)

try Rachel Ray's dog food #nutrishdish

We were asked to gradually intro the food to the dog. Put in 25% new and 75% old and let him gradually get the taste and make the change. Religiously, we measure it out and this is what he does....

He picks out the pieces of real carrots, real peas, and yummy nutritious food that is new AND LEAVES HIS OLD FOOD IN THE BOWL!!!

Wait! What?

He LOVES his new food and I think we will be dedicated new buyers to #nutrishdish

Thank you #rachelray #influenster #voxbox #adogslife #tuckerdoubt

Promotional product was given for us to try.

Dance

2015-05-16T15:25:00.001-07:00

A whole day spent near Cleveland watching my littlest compete with her teams. She is so focused and has practiced for this moment for several months. And then, it is over in just a few minutes. She lives for that moment. She lives in that moment. The only measure of how much it means to her is the smile that beams from her beautiful face. The smile that never ends. Our lives are similar. It all happens in a blink. What will be conveyed to those who are watching me? Will it be something positive or negative? I pray that the impression I leave is one that will positively affect those it touches.

Unbelievable. No really.

2015-02-14T07:20:00.001-08:00

I haven't been on here for a very long time. There are many reasons. Most of which are linked to a crazy mental state that I dwell in. It has been so overwhelming that I missed my 2 year anniversary appt with Dr. Lalor. I was too embarrassed to go in. I just knew that I had gained my weight back. That I was on the highway to destruction. I feel ugly at times. With my new desk job I have had to make several changes to keep movement in my world.

Anyhow, I have been beating myself up for several weeks.

I decided that whatever the ugly news was, I had to go back to the doctor. I needed to face my fears head on and figure out how to make the changes at that point. I figured I would join the many who have had the surgery, lost the weight and then gained it back.

So, I went and got blood work and went back to the doctor yesterday.

I haven't been there since August, 2013. What will the damage be?!?!?

Well friends, my blood pressure was 100/70. My blood work was PERFECT with the exception of low hemoglobin. Possible anemia. (Nothing new, my disdain for red meat has always had me test at borderline numbers).

And the weight?

I have gained 3 pounds.

THREE POUNDS!!!!!!

I have been toe trying myself over 3 pounds?? That could be water retention! I am beyond thrilled and excited!!!

The short of it is that I have acquired some great tools and keeing them in place has been a daily task.

I'm so grateful for the encouragement the strength from God the conversations that I have had with so many others.

I am living proof that God is good! He is faithful and true and will give you the desires of your heart if they align with his will.

Happy Valentine's Day to me!!!

Oh one more thing!!!

For all of my life, I wanted to sit on my boyfriend (husbands) lap and wear his clothes. I don't know why. Maybe society I never thought it could happen. Until today. I am proudly wearing Don's new shirt. A size large. SHUTUP!!!!!!

The only thing that is certain is....CHANGE!

2014-07-11T10:32:00.002-07:00

Skylar is such a motivator for me! She has encouraged me to begin walking again. I have a neat video that allows me to walk in the comfort of my home without a treadmill. It measures my distant and I really like it.

Today, she had me out riding the bikes. We did about 3 miles and made it to the woods! She would make a super personal trainer!

Anyhow, after last week at camp, my body is craving physical activity. I LOVE the feel of the burn in my muscles. Of course, that is after I caught up on my lost sleep. lol

WE were in a cabin that had a mouse family. I have NEVER laughed so much over a rodent's appearance. I have to give a shout out to "Patty"! She is an amazing hunter and I envy her courage to actually set traps and rid them of the dead lil bodies. YUCK-A-ROONI!

Patty aka Laura, kept us in focus. She is such a kind hearted soul who is level headed, loving, and truly an inspiration. Her love for our Lord is as clear as glass. She exemplifies all of the wonderful things of Christianity. I was blessed to spend a week with her!

Then there is her Cray SIL..."Amy", who is legally named Jenn...She made me lol all week long. Jenn is a nut! She was so supportive to our sweet Crystal about the spider who was bunking with her. (NOT!) She told her to embrace it! This is camp, she said...that is until the mouse made his debut. BAHAHAHAHA....I have never seen a grown woman move so fast! I still chuckle at the memory. The mouse violated Jenn's living space. Poop everywhere! I mean everywhere! I didn't tell Jenn then, but I bet that thing thought they were bunk mates. YUCK!

She moved her bed and all of her belongings and then turned to see that 4 precious girls were joining her. What a hoot! Up tot his point, I had not heard Jenn utter a single negative thing about camp. She was all about the sulfur and the "rustic" conditions and the dirt, etc. Then the mouse comes out. I asked her what we should name him...At this point, I have tears in my eyes..."DEAD!" she hollers. "We shall call him DEAD!" Poor mouse. He and a few of his friends were caught last week. Jenn is still an awesome and amazing person. She is UBER positive and so thoughtful. Jenn is the one who took my Maggie an umbrella at Buckeye Girls State. I wish she lived closer so that we could work together. Oh, and if you are wondering...she does get REAL ghetto Southern when she gets tired, annoyed and slap happy!

I had a super week with some amazing girls and they taught me so much.

I will be sharing more later...You know you want to read more!

The shocking reality

2014-04-16T18:31:00.001-07:00

Well folks...

The harsh reality is that I have not lost a single pound since May of last year.

I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

I am pleased to have maintained over the 12 months but am not ready to be done.

Now, I have to share that I am not actively attempting to lose.

I am still refraining from caffeine and carbonation. I have protein priority but not as strict as I should be. I do not drink and eat together. I eat very little red meat and poultry.

I think my downfalls have been the increase in gluten and sugar.

While I cannot eat large amounts, I think the small amounts I am consuming are working against me.

I have come to a very scary place where the weight is not just melting away. It is still here.

I have also found that I am where most people are when they have the surgery. I have 100 pounds to loose to meet my doctor's goal. Sixty to lose to meet my goal. So I am 70 % to my goal and I want to gear up and make it.

My plan? Get back to what I know works.
No sugar
Protein priority
Low to no gluten
Increase activity

I have also found that in stressful situations I want to eat. I guess old habits die hard. I have taken up knitting and have taught myself how to do some pretty cool crafts. It keeps my hands busy and away from food.

I will tell you, I am still recuperating from 40 plus hours in the truck on our recent voyage...Boy can my ankles swell!

It is time to get this party started again...I will keep you updated!

It's the little things...you know?

2014-03-08T16:27:00.001-08:00

The past few days have been incredible for my ego.

For almost two weeks I have been feeling the stress and dismay of day to day living. The stress of life can sometimes get me down.

I hear God saying, "Be still", "Trust me".

I have been diligently in prayer every day to talk to him and attempt to gain some sort of peace.

My sleep has been interrupted, my days are filled with tension and angst, my neck aches, my kids feel it, my husband feels it and I am sure everyone around me knows it.

So, I go through my days doing the best I can and try to smile. Try to see the bright part of the situation. I am constantly telling the devil to get behind me.

There are times when I allow other people's assumptions and opinions get to me. I listen to what they say or what is relayed to me and it truly pricks my heart. I question if what I am doing is what I am supposed to be doing.

Does God have another road for me to travel? Is my time finished where I am? What is the next challenge in my life? Although I am comfortable where I am (usually) and love what I do, where I do it and with those I do it with I am always cognizant that God has a plan for me. His plan may not coincide with my plans and if they don't, well, I need to abandon my plans and accept his. ALWAYS.

So I question myself. I ask him for guidance and insight. For clarity and the ability to see the situation as it will glorify God, not me. And finally, I received a prize. Well, several of them.

One of the most encouraging people I know works with me at school. She comes to me at my lowest points, and usually has a scripture to give me. I don't know if she knows the magnitude of her presence in my life. She shares a story, an uplifting a message, a smile. She hugs me and shares my religious views. She pushes me forward. She understands and never judges. Thank you Beth! You are a blessing in my life.

I had another team member come into my office yesterday and share some words with me that were true, but I had never thought of them in the way that he said them. His sincerity and generosity, his insight was amazing. I was energized and blessed to hear his words. They touched my soul and pushed me to finish my week with a bang. Ravin, God blessed our community with your presence. You bring such a calm to the building. The children thrive with your instruction and the staff loves your humor and history. You may never know the impact you had on my life yesterday when you took the time to share with me. "Thank you" seems insignificant.

And then today, while I was stopping at Meijer to get two sweet girls a token of love during the passing of their grandma, I was stopped by a team member. She asked me if I was the principal at Elmwood...yes. Then she went on to tell me about her boyfriend's granddaughters. Such precious girls! She told me how much she appreciated all that I did and that she loved the musical program she attended. She explained that she had seen me on Facebook singing about a 2 hour delay and marveled at how well I do my job as a principal. I think I was left blushing in the book aisle. Another customer made a comment, "Wow! Nice to hear that you make a difference in people's life!"

And then another team member sent me a text that outlined the difference I have made in her life. I was blown away by her honesty and adoration. I respect and admire her with every piece of me. She has stood in as a sounding board and with her experience in "the real world" mixed with my history, she gets me. She seems to know what to say and exactly when I need to hear it. I love you Candace!

Now all of this may not secure for me a lifetime of constant. But it does give peace to my heart that it is what I am expected to do right now. My heart and soul is at peace and I can fully enjoy every day.

And the best thing? I get to see my sweethearts and receive their hugs and unconditional love every day until HE is ready to use me in a different way.

The Age of Aquarius

2014-02-01T14:51:00.002-08:00

My favorite month.

I LOVE FEBRUARY!!

It is the shortest month, the birth of my baby, my birthday and the month of LOVE!

I am drawn to hearts and matters of the heart. It is the perfect month to enjoy the cold weather, the Superbowl, the ground hog and celebrating birthdays.

Skylar's birthday is on the 6th and mine follows closely on the 10th. In 2006 and every year since then, she is the reminder of the perfect gifts in life!

I wanted to also bring you up to speed on how things are physically and financially.

As far as the finances…getting rid of those credit cards was the BEST! I feel so free. I have so much to be thankful for. God has given us great opportunity and we have been able to stay within our budget. The crazy thing is that we even had an unplanned event with the car. The estimate was way over what we ended up paying and we paid for it with CASH!

So the finances are going well.

And now on to physical. Most of you know by now that my hubby had a stent put in. He had a blockage that was greater than 95% and was experiencing some super pain. But he's all good now…feeling much better and almost back to normal.

I have lost another 5 pounds. That was a victory for me! I want to loose an additional 55 pounds and I know that I can. I MUST get to the gym! The flood over the summer ruined my stationary bikes, my center for lifting and the treadmill. SO I am in the market to get a few things.

I am happy to be where we are on this journey. It is apparent, every day how very good our Lord is. We have been incredibly blessed.

Another snow day? Bring it on!

2014-01-08T16:05:00.003-08:00

Well this winter break has taken an interesting twist. I had originally planned to be in Texas last week preparing for my niece's first birthday. Having just gone through a "plasticotomy", I am living a strict budget and there was NO room in the plans to venture out this holiday season. As much as I miss those little boogers, I am very proud of myself for setting a goal and moving forward. It has taken Don and I a LONG time to get to this point.

I am not sure if I have shared.

Probably should…nothing is a secret with me.

Moving out here 8 years ago exposed us to so many things we never anticipated.

The first being a house that would comfortably accommodate both of my parents. In Toledo, our house payment was so manageable. Here, it was based on a home that was purchased at over $200K. Luckily, we have been moving forward on that and only have a few more years to pay. We did a 15 year loan and make an extra payment yearly. (that takes many payments off…it really is a smart thing to do!) And the view is AWESOME!!

Anyhow, we then had to purchase many things that we didn't even know we would need. Mowers, countless landscaping ideas that I finally gave up on as they were destroyed by the elements, gravel for the drive, and much more. We also didn't understand the propane thing and the well thing and had to make many mistakes before we got that right. (You have to pay someone to come out every other year to clean all of your human waste out of the ground…eeewwww!)

And then the pool. You should all know that story. Who knew that field tile could ruin a project? That was one lesson I will never forget. And with over $20,000 tied up in that project, because there was no liner, it wasn't covered by insurance as it was not considered a pool.

So, with all of there unexpected costs we had good intentions of charging things and paying them off monthly. Which we did in the beginning. And then, I tell you, you let one month slip by and….well, that's all she wrote.

Add to that the stress of living away from my friends in Toledo in this faraway place and retail therapy was my drug. Yes, I am ashamed to admit that. I didn't know that at the time. I guess as I was eating to comfort, I was spending to comfort…look where that got me.

So I tackled the eating thing (mostly) and I am now working on the spending thing.

Together, Don and I have begun budgeting and utilizing various resources to get our finances in order.

Through my brother in law, James, I found www.mint.com to be very useful. Best of all, it is free!

It links to your bank account and monitors all of your spending.

With lots of discipline, we anticipate being out of debt in less than 4 years. Forty months to be exact.

How has this affected me?

Some days are better than others. I buy things that we NEED. I shop at the dollar store for cleaning and household items. I purchase smaller amounts as we need it. I shop more at Aldi's for grocery items and then there are items that I will not compromise on. The meat I feed my children.

We got rid of cable ($1200 a year). No landline ($500 a year). Maggie and I carpool when we are able to (about 3-5 times a week saving us at least $30 a week). I freeze leftovers and pack lunches. This saves us $2.40 a day for each child and myself. ($7.20 a day for 150 days is over $1000! We do allow them to buy once or twice a month)

I do get bogged down that I no longer have the luxury to just go out and impulsively buy for myself or others. However, it does force me to plan and to also be creative. For example, spending less that $50 I was able to make apple nachos,

candy canes, and butter cookies for my 75 staff members for christmas. I guess it is the thought that counts!

The next step will be to organize and begin getting rid of items that we no longer need. Much of it will be donated, however, I will be selling some of it to continue building our nest egg.

Above all, God has been so good to us!

And to who much has been given, much is expected. At this point, I realize that we have made many mistakes financially. We have also made some really good choices. Our retirement is going to be awesome! We have also made our girls a priority and each of them have bank accounts that we contribute to. But God has entrusted us with many monetary blessings and I feel convicted to be the best steward I can be.

So, that means that we have to make some changes, which we have already started and continue on making other sacrifices that will add to the progress we have made. We cut our plastic spending cold turkey about 4 months ago.

It has been more than difficult. I never realized how dependent I was on that spending. Each day pushes me further away from that style of living. It also helps me in purchasing necessary items only.

I look to the light at the end of the tunnel. I know that there is a goal in sight and I will reach it, by the grace of God.

I will continue to share my progress on this new venture. I know that if it helps just one person…it is worth it.

Also, tomorrow is day 20 away from work. I am missing my babies and my staff. I just know that we will be back together on Friday. I can't wait for my hugs and catching up on all the holiday fun.

Tomorrow is also my niece, Israel's first birthday! Happy birthday baby girl…I miss and love you very much!

Snow Crazy? Snow way!

2014-01-02T14:36:00.005-08:00

I have enjoyed getting back to my disciplined self over the past few days.

I vaguely shared with you at the end of last year about somethings that were going on with me.

As embarrassed as I may be in telling the truth…I have to. I have to share in case someone else will benefit.

Ok, so I gained 9 pounds. NINE POUNDS! What?!?!?

How did this happen?

First and foremost, I ingested more calories than I burned. DUH!
I believed that I didn't need to keep a food journal anymore. I thought I had everything under control.
I believed that a bit or two of cake, candy, chocolate, WHATEVER, would not bother me. (especially if I didn't write it down :o))
In an attempt to be "normal" I indulged in a few alcoholic drinks, with fruit juice.
I thought that buying fresh fruit was a waste of money and that I could cut corners and still do what I needed to do to lose weight.
I could eat whenever I saw something I wanted, not only when I needed to fuel my body.

^^^LIES! I was lying to myself. I singlehandedly sabotaged myself!

I am relieved to share with you that I must not have been too far off my good habits as it has been incredibly easy and satisfying going back to about 800 calories daily. I was, thankfully, ingrained in getting my protein in first, to sip my drinks (low to no calorie drinks). I have found satisfaction in doing what is right for my body and not for my mental state.

Folks, the biggest lesson I learned is this:

This will be a lifelong journey! I'm not happy about that, but I am not sad about it either. Everyone has a cross to bear. I heard a story long ago that if we ask God to make out load lighter, we may get to our destination with not enough training or stamina to make the final leg. I will accept my daily trials and will work my hardest to find the joy in each day.

What can you do?

Hold me accountable.

Find me on myfitnesspal.com and check out my food diary, my weight, my measurements, etc.

Ask me how I have done in eating today.

Ask me where I am on this journey, how much have I lost, what is my goal?

Encourage me with your comments, your observations…most importantly?

Please pray for me. Pray for this journey. That it will bring glory to God. That his hand will constantly be upon my situation.

I want to thank you, in advance, as you must already know that I am only as strong as I have been due to your support, love and encouragement.

All I want for Christmas...

2013-12-22T17:23:00.002-08:00

Hi all!
What a year! I cannot believe that we are at the end of 2013.
It has certainly been an adventure.
I am at a loss at what to share at this point. I hesitate being too honest. The replies from others are often an attempt to be supportive, yet in the mental state I usually find myself, I often take the comments to heart and allow it to propel me further into this dark abyss I live.
Why?
It is a combination of many things. And I assume that I am not alone. While I feel empty at times, I certainly live a full life and I am beyond blessed.
So those who are reading this, please add me to your prayers. God knows what I need. He knows what I am battling.
Merry Christmas to each of you!
XOXO

It's been too long!

2013-12-13T14:46:00.000-08:00

I have been awful at updating!

There are several reasons…I have been hit by so many Ohio Department of Education Mandates that my head is spinning!

This means that at year 22 in education I feel like a first year teacher all over again.

This also means that I have been SSSTTTRRRREEESSSSSEEEEDDD!!! UGH!

With the stress, I have had to work on how to decompress…

which brings me to another reason, I have been too self absorbed to share. I am angry that I have not lost another pound, angry that I look disgusting (more on this later) angry that I want to stress eat…I have even begun grinding my teeth…but I didn't want to share that and let you all down.

The battle has been so uplifting thus far. Not too out of control and NOW…I feel out of control. A failure, a fatty, so yucky.

And what I just typed, I was too ashamed to type before…still am. but I feel I owe it to anyone who is going through this process so that you know that you are not alone. I figure, it must be natural. The people I talked to about this said they felt the same way at some time or another.

What put me over the edge was seeing another picture of myself…I am having major body disfigurement issues. I feel so ugly and heavy and ugly.

Ok so, I have also been told that I will get past this eventually. I think I am needing some prayers. This is amazingly difficult.

So to be incredibly HONEST…this journey has gotten more difficult. I still have major issues eating chicken and turkey. I am completely turned off by red meat. I have stopped ingesting milk protein as it makes me physically ill (not too mention the disgusting gas). And with the summer gone, I am missing my fresh fruit…berries, melons, pineapple…

So I am attempting to learn to love citrus and apples.

My lunch contains tomatoes and cucumbers and for the first time this journey, I feel like I am on a diet. UGH!

Again, please don't get the wrong idea or feel bad…I believe it will eventually pass. I have to believe that. And I want to be an inspiration for anyone who needs that encouragement.

So I feel guilty not updating and will try not to make regular updates. Thanks for reading and Happy Holidays!!!

Fall is in the air

2013-10-16T17:56:00.001-07:00

These past few weeks have been physically exhausting.

Moving to fall comes new flavors, spices, smells, etc. I am currently missing my summer time foods. Like tomatoes, cucumbers, watermelon, blueberries, etc. It has been a crazy transition.

I have also had a surgical procedure that showed that I have multiple fibroids. Thankfully, they are not cancerous. Hopefully with medication they will lessen over time.

I also have so many more responsibilities at work...Thank you state of ohio!

But otherwise, all is well!

Trust in Him

2013-09-29T19:23:00.001-07:00

I have been through a series of events these past SEVEN days and I am feeling a major pull to post something that is not directly about me or my weight loss, rather, it is about life. Someone, some where is to read this and take from it what may soothe their heart and the situation they are currently dealing with.

Since last Sunday, people I know and love have been dealing with death (two to be precise) and life hanging on to a thread. There have been trips to the hospital, over night stays, agony, heartache, uncertainty, and grief. There have been late calls and deep prayers, cries out to the LORD to attend to the situation at hand. Just this evening I got a call to go to the hospital to see a friend who is physically struggling.

I don't know why the situations are so numerous, why they seem larger than life itself...but I do know this...

In every situation, I was able to share God. I was welcomed with love and allowed to pray and turn the situation over to Him. This evening, I had a wonderful conversation with a gentleman who also understands that God is in control. At least he wants to be. Give it to him. Let it go. There is no purpose in stressing or making yourself sick. He wants to carry you. When you are broken, that is when he can fully be glorified. Let him take your situation and be glorified. This is just a dress rehearsal...there is nothing so awful on this earth that I cannot suffer through as long as I know where I will be at the end of time. WIth him, covered in his grace.

I cannot type quickly enough to share all of the thoughts I have. He is here for you. He wants all of you...the good, the bad and the ugly. Letting go is a true walk of faith. I am thanking him for letting this touch just one person who needs the reminder and ask that he breaks each one of us to perfect us in his image.

Be mindful of the baggage that others carry throughout their day. Make sure that your interaction with them lightens their load and does not add to their burden. Be grateful for all you have...even the stressful moments. IT is in those moments that God truly can work in you. Count it all joy!

Love to you all!

Love this LIFE!

2013-09-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

Last night was mini cheer...

It is always such a wonderful time. The older girls really come through as mentors and the younger girls LOVE looking up to them. And what a crowd! We signed up to sell tickets and WOW! the line was longer than I ever remembered! EVER.

So we play an awesome first and I get to watch my girl cheer in the second...and then my Maggie marches the half time show. And during the show, I realize that Skylar is gone...so what follows is my facebook post from this morning.

"There are times that I miss my old life in Toledo. Our neighborhood and big old house, the convenience of being close to everything, people hanging out with us...and then something like last night happens. We live in an amazing community where people are genuine and kind, loving and compassionate. For about 20 minutes, I thought Skylar was missing. It was the worst 20 minutes of my life. And, while I am usually the one to tell someone to calm down and assure them that everything is ok...I was not able to tell myself this. I was frantically looking for her and the crowd was so large. I truly was fearful. That's when MY community came together. The kiddos started running around to search for Skylar. Parents, Kimberly Duvall, Alisha Manecke Bankey, James SometimesRoberta Bodnar Savannah Baker, SRO Thompson, Mrs. Stockwell, Sharon Logston, and so many others (forgive me, I was panicked and can't remember everyone!) came together to help me look for my girl. Part of me knew she was ok...and yet, the other part said, "they have a 20 minute lead"

I don't always understand why we undergo what we do, but last night, I choose to believe that God is showing me what a great place we are involved in. That remembering our past is great, but we need to live in the moment. That He continually works through others.

He also showed me that when I stray from him, it makes him feel terrible. He wants me to stay near him.

Powerful lessons for a Football Friday."

And when I finally saw her...the emotions were nuts...I was angry and relieved and she was confused. She knew she was ok.
She started to talk and I just put my fingers across her lips. She could tell something was wrong. I took her hand and began walking towards the gate to leave. And then I was overcome with emotion. I grabbed her and hugged her and every awful thing I imagined could happen flooded my mind with great force. I heard her say "mom, I can't breathe" lol. I had squeezed her so close. And she saw I was crying. I tried to explain to her how very scared I was and that she is so dear to me and all I could think of was that she was alone or hurt, or scared.
God has blessed me with these girls. I never want to let him down in taking care of them. I always want them to be "ok". And so, I was trusting with my spirit that he had her covered...and the flesh, it is SO weak.

She is fine, she will be on bench grounding for the next few games and is mortified that she has to be that close to me during games.
Thank you to all who helped. Thank you to my sweet students, current and past who sprang into action and began calling her name and racing to find her.
Thank you to my sister for making me be calm. For being around and physically finding her.

There are still so many bright and beautiful things and people in this world. That will be my focus over the next several days.

It's a great day for a game!

2013-09-07T14:49:00.001-07:00

For my hubby's birthday, Maggie insisted on getting him tickets for an Indians game. So here we are!

As we were waiting in line, two off duty employees were behind us. Apparently, the first 10,000 fans receive a jersey. So we struck up a conversation and found that this was a mom daughter combo. Amazing people who were very interesting to talk to. It turned out that they had gotten off work and were just going in to get the jerseys and head home. To top it all off, Rose saw where we had tickets to sit. "Not today." She said. "You are taking our tickets."

What awesome ladies!!! Next are pics of where we were supposed to sit and where we ended up.

Way up here!!

Thank you Rose! And you lovely daughter! We will think of you often and the generosity you showed our family. Paying it forward is a blessing for the giver and the receiver.

Time for an update

2013-09-07T06:37:00.001-07:00

It's been almost a month. School is off to a smooth start. For the first time in 22 years, I feel at peace. I was feeling a sense of anxiety and even annoyance at a situation in the beginning. I try not to complain....and my sweet husband asked if I was praying for this individual. I had not been. I was humbled. I began to pray and the results have been amazing. I feel enveloped in peace. My anxiety is gone. My relationships are better. Thanking God for the guidance and direction. Also for the amazing man he has put in my life! We truly are better together working for The Lord!

What a feeling!

2013-08-18T17:52:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I had a step backwards on Friday after my female procedure...a d and c, tubal and attempt at an ablation. The doctor found fibroids and will meet with me in a few days to set up a game plan. No big deal, but the anesthetic kicks my butt!

There is a small incision in my belly button and I was amazed at how quickly I have bounced back. Today, I have had no pain killer but stayed home to rest after pushing it to much yesterday.

I was so pleased in Pemberville as my child was marching again for the fair. In the past, I have always dreaded walking to the school, back to the Post and then to find a seat on the route. This year, I walked that route THREE times. With an incision...30 hours after being put under!!

WHAT!?!?!?

It amazes me that God has given me another chance at this life. I totally took for granted what it could be. I LOVE this. I feel super, I look great and I LOVE life!

I want to thank God for all that he has given me. But most especially for giving me wonderful friends in each of you. I appreciate your support and kind words, your messages and texts, the pics you send and the hugs! I cannot tell you how very much it all means to me.

And on this eve of the first day back to school for the teachers, I am hoping that I can find a new purpose and more of a drive to kick in to meet my original goal. I am currently 143 pounds down...I have 57 to go to meet my original goal of loosing 200 pounds. I am going to do it!

With the help of God and each of you...I know that I will be celebrating that goal sooner than we know.

It's a pain in the Achilles

2013-08-09T22:15:00.001-07:00

IiWell I suspected that my pain in the ankle was the Achilles' tendon and found out today that it indeed is the source of my issues.

Funny thing is that I hurt myself while doing Zumba. I think I miss stepped on it and it has been tender on and off since then. The doctor wants me to start steroids and a brace. He wants me to ice and rest it. Maybe an MRI and walking boot if it doesn't respond to the steroids and start to heal.

I find it ironic that it has decided to hurt after I lost weight. I know I would not be able to walk on it with that weight back on.

I am to do casual stretches and no exercise. Not sure how this will affect me going back to school but I know that God had a plan and he will provide. I just hope it's not to slow down too much. I suppose I will accept it and move forward.

I am super thankful to a sweet gentleman who sent me this awesome tshirt. I cannot believe it fits AND looks good! A women's XL. Thanks Bucky!!

I know that there were two other stories I wanted to share and cannot remember what those were. Hopefully I will remember for the next post and they will be relevant.

One last thing, got a new haircut and love it short.

I have been practicing my makeup application and I have been pretty impressed with how good it turns out. My Maggie has me hooked on sephora and Mac. I love the colors!

Well it is late. God bless and keep you until next time! Peace!

Another start...and we are moving towards the goal

2013-08-08T16:32:00.000-07:00

I had my annual appointment with Dr. Lalor yesterday and walked away with mixed feelings. I was so stoked to get in there and see the whole team. They were welcoming and open armed. I appreciated how they made me feel. We did have time to talk and in the conversation we discussed what this next year may hold for me. With my original goal, I have another 57 pounds to lose. I have found that I was content at where I currently am. I love how I feel. Love how I look.

And then I realized it.

I am now just at the point that so many of his patients start. According to the medical chart for the optimal weight, I need to lose 100 pounds. He talks to patients at my size to begin their journey with the surgery. So talk about bummed.

I went from cloud nine to deep into the trenches. The nurse practitioner then tells me that this year was the easiest. The next years will be more difficult. HUH?

Use your tools, utilize your strategies, energy in less than energy out, eat your protein, take your vitamins, drink your water, eat when you are hungry, chew your food, and on and on. Then she says that other patients go back on the liquid diet to jumpstart the weight loss.

So I came home and proceeded to mope and feel sorry for my self. I felt dejected and angry. My husband was so kind and tried to get me to feel better. But you know what? I think it was just what I needed.

I woke up today with a new attitude and purpose. I was going to do this thing! I AM GOING TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT! I am beyond proud of me! I had cottage cheese and peaches, greek yogurt and tomatoes with cucumbers, olives, and fat free feta. I am at 612 calories AND got 64g of protein in...GO ME!

A big thank you to Brenda, who basically told me that this ride ain't over yet. And to a very special someone who appeared in my doorway this afternoon and told me how proud she was of me. You surely did not know what the past 24 hours had done to me and yet you said some pretty cool things to me. It was exactly the boost I needed to get through my day. I have no doubt that I can do this. Of course, I am taking it one day at a time...perhaps even hourly.

Thank you for those who still read. Thank you for loving me...no matter how much I weigh. You are my strength. God bless!

Reflection

2013-07-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

On the eve of the year anniversary of my gastric bypass surgery, I am honored and humbled to share with you.

What a difference a year makes!

I have lost close to 50 inches in the various areas I measure (waist, thigh, arm, neck)

I have lost 143 pounds...143 pounds!

I have gained my health: no sleep machine, no blood pressure medicine, no sugar or cholesterol issues!

I have gained energy, a drive to be active, time with my family, confidence, a new wardrobe and so much more!

I have morphed into another person...

NEVER

in my life would I have ever thought that I would have to be the age of 42 to be the most beautiful I have ever been in my life.

I am comfortable in my own skin and so much more healthier!

The proof was tonight.

My sweet nephew, Jamie wanted to go down the slide with Taylor and Skylar. The big boys were busy with the final touches of the float, Maggie was with her friends and there were no other adults available.

He looked at me..."I go on the slide Aunt Shelly?" The man said, he must go with an adult...you take him.

HUH? ME? NO WAY?

I haven't been on a ride since I was 15 years old.

I walked away with Jamie and immediately felt regret.

Why not?

I have come so far...I can do this!

I took Jamie back and climbed to the top. Not quite sure with each step I take...higher and higher.

Finally, we reach the top, I manage to sit down and the next 10 seconds summed up the past 365 days.

IT WAS THE RIDE OF MY LIFE!

I was free. I have broken from the bondage that I have been a victim to.

Praise the LORD for empowering me, leading me, putting me in the right places to truly accept and experience all that he has for me. I LOVE you Father! Thank you!

And thank you all for taking this humble trip with me. I promise to keep up with the great work and inform you of my growth over the next year. Love you all! Thank you for the support and encouragement. The prayers and the thoughts. You all mean so much more to me than you may ever realize. You take stock in this victory...in part, it is each of you who have helped me reach this pinnacle. We have more work to do!

It has come to this...

2013-07-26T15:27:00.001-07:00

Seriously feeling sorry for myself and I have no clue why. I want to sit and just stuff my face. I want to eat oodles of foods and do it all day long. I am in search of comfort and with being sick I think I am associating it to eating. My sister warned me that I would need to find alternatives to eating when stressed or old habits try to return. Yuck! Now I feel empty and icky and guilty for longing and then depressed. So I now have no choice but to get my head in the game. I am sharing because I feel it is necessary to show the down days as well as the off the chart awesome days. It has been a smoother ride then I anticipated. But these past few weeks have been a trial. I am hoping to overcome them quickly, get a sound game plan and move forward. The mental fight is difficult. My mind is screaming things that I know are untrue and yet, my lack of confidence allows me to entertain those thoughts. I am not ugly. I am not fat beyond repair. I am not repulsive. I am beautiful. I am intelligent. I am healthier. I am perfectly imperfect and a daughter of God who will shield me from myself.

Happy birthday!

2013-07-19T13:37:00.001-07:00

Today is Taylor Rothenbuhler's birthday. She is turning seven and I am so honored to be a part of this big day. I remember when she was born and have watched her grow into the beautiful young lady that she is.

So today is mani/pedi day with a viewing of Turbo and finally Texas Roadhouse! Yahoo!!!

Celebrating the life of a wonderful girl. Love you Taylor!!

Wonderful information...a little too late

2013-07-18T15:32:00.000-07:00

What a week! It is only Wednesday but I am feeling not only accomplished but also spent. A big day today at the pool...the Shepard Community pool. Karen Shepherd and her beautiful family hosted a wonderfully warm day at the new house. Now, I had not ever been swimming in a salt water pool. It was delightful! Her pool is large yet cozy and so many people! We got to see some old friends as well as new. Kendall's parents were there...a sweet baby girl that is in the Shepherd/Howard family. Anyhew, we had a great time. My husband was able to come and spend a few minutes swimming as well. I am proud to report that I am currently in a size 22 suit. I love it!

But with this change brings other complications. Ugly complications. I have always worn a tankini or skirted suit and feeling especially sassy, I purchased a one piece traditional suit. I have not ever given much thought to how I looked in a suit...I usually have the comfort of the water in mind first.

Well, I got there and not wanting to dive right in, stood and talked to the others at the pool. I was standing next to the pool while they leisurely had their feet in. We had a great many conversations.

All the while, I am oblivious to the view.

That is until my husband got there (a good 3 hours later) and while we were going to change informs me that I need to....I need to....I can hardly type this...I need to trim.

WHAT!?!?!?!?

YOU COULDN'T HAVE TOLD ME THIS EARLIER!!!

WOW! I think my head is spinning...I am certain that all has seen the damage and I am going to die of embarrassment. Well, if I can be embarrassed.

Anyhow, I guess that there are many new things I must keep in the forefront of my mind as I continue to loose weight. I just never thought it would come to this.

Girls, make sure you observe your new body with much speculation. If you are not sure of what you are or are not missing, consult someone....a spouse, a parent, a mirror!

Don't make the same mistakes I made! IT is life altering...for sure!

The victims names have been withheld as they have truly suffered enough.