a submissive's musings

i'm embarrassed, but i shouldn't be.....

2012-01-22T09:27:00.002Z

i went to the doctor this week to talk to him about some symptoms i've been having for a while now. i pretty much knew what the likely diagnosis was and i was right, but since he has confirmed what i am suffering from i have found it difficult to talk about with anyone except Sir. i am embarrassed to have this condition, even though it's a common one, there's nothing i can do about it and it's not my fault.....

i have Irritable Bowel Syndrome - "IBS-A" (more info here if you want it). The doctor has sent me away to keep a detailed food and drink diary plus a diary of all my symptoms over the next 2 weeks to see if there is any link between the two. Then he may trial me on one or more of the treatments available (probably peppermint oil capsules first) to see if any of them help. And he has recommended i get 30mins of gentle exercise each day (walking, swimming, etc), try using probiotic yoghurts and try to keep as stress-free as possible, including having alternative therapies to help me relax if needed.

So that's my news, i'll keep you updated as and when i find out more about my particular version of this condition.

A Finn escapade

2012-01-21T19:50:00.000Z

Today i had one of those moments where i suddenly realised that Finn was very quiet and had been for quite some time......

after a brief search for him i find him in the kids' downstairs playroom and as he hears me come in he looks up with guilt all over his face.......

turns out that little Finn has found a bottle of hand lotion and decided to experiment with what happens when you squirt and smear it all over the laminate flooring and all over the walls......

cue much "glah"ing whilst said activity is taking place but a silent Finn as soon as he is discovered, followed by a cute little head tilt and an offering of the nearly-empty bottle to me with one of his newest phrases: "wannit?" (want it), which is what he says when offering things to people which he now does numerous times each day.

Very cute but very messy and mischevious - sums up Finn all over!

2012 - looking forward

2012-01-15T14:37:00.004Z

A little late i know, but i'm easing myself into the new year gradually, trying not to make the same mistakes as previous years by setting myself difficult resolutions and throwing myself into things too fast and tiring myself out and getting really stressed. But i am looking forward to this year and i have a feeling that it's going to be a busy but productive year and that most of it is going to be enjoyable. So here's a list of things i would like to achieve or have happen this year:

- help my sister celebrate her 30th birthday in style
- enjoy going to the Olympics
- take the kidlets away on a summer holiday
- progress in my training to Sir
- help Poppy start 'big school' and enjoy it and learn lots
- send Finn to nursery part-time
- continue with and add to William's therapies
- redecorate our bedroom
- get a new three-piece suite for the lounge
- read some books and increase my knowledge
- do more with the garden
- see several films at the cinema
- teach William to sit independently
- teach Finn not to make so much mess
- teach Poppy basic money and time
- get spa treatments regularly to recharge my batteries when needed
- be more patient with 'stupid' questions about William from members of the public
- spend more time with baby Callum
- meet and get support from a bigger group of mummies with special needs kiddies
- scene more in the P&H channel

Not going to go into any more details yet, but as and when i work on or achieve these targets i will expand on each of them at the time. BTW, i am aware that the deadline for my 101 list has expired but i have decided to continue to work on them and will announce here when i have met them all

formspring.me #86

2012-01-08T13:03:00.001Z

My husband and I are looking to add some light BDSM to our sex life. Do you have any website suggestions were we can learn proper and safe techniques for spanking and bondage?

Try these:http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/library/articles_us/bkurs01.htm
http://www.seekers.org.uk/http://www.leathernroses.com/http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/http://bdsmforbeginners.blogspot.com/

Anyone else have suggestions?

Ask me anything (250 characters)

So... Disneyland

2012-01-07T18:46:00.001Z

The past week seems to have gone by very quickly since we got back from Disneyland so i haven't had a chance to post and tell everyone how it went, but am finally grabbing some blogging time now to update everyone!

For those who don't know, we took all 3 kids to Disneyland Paris for new year, staying there 3 nights, 4 days from 30th Dec to 2nd Jan. The journey there was fine, the Eurostar service was great and the kids were all given special Disney kids packs though William wasn't at all interested in his and it only occupied Finn until we got on the actual train! But Poppy spent most of the journey there colouring in the pictures and talking about what she could see in the pack so that was useful for her. For the boys i took along some of their favourite toys and books and they were kept entertained (William even had a little nap on the train which was good). We had booked the Disney Express service so the Disney staff came and found us on the train and gave us all our tickets and hotel information plus we handed over our cases at the train station on arrival so we could get straight into the park - that was brilliant as the kids were raring to go by then!

The rides and shows and parades in the 2 parks (there's a Walt Disney Studios Park there too) were every bit as good as promised and the kidlets had an absolutely fantastic time. i'll detail each kid's favourite rides and moments and souvenirs a bit later. We got to go on all the rides we wanted to without queuing too much due to William being given a disabled pass which meant we could skip the queue and board each ride from the disabled entrance if it was a ride he was going on. For rides which Finn and/or Poppy wanted to go on without William, we got fastpasses to minimise the queuing and they were kept entertained by the music as they waited so that was fine. Sir and i did get to go on some of the adult rides by getting a fastpass and going on by ourselves while the other person looked after the kids, but to be honest i enjoyed the rides we went on as a family the most. The food was good, we ate in a variety of places and Finn and Poppy had plenty of choice - we took our own food for William due to his fussiness.

The Cheyenne hotel we stayed in was nice, we had a good-sized family room with a double bed for me and Sir, bunk beds for Poppy and Finn and a cot for William. Finn really liked the cowboy/Western theming too and there were saddles on stools for the kids to sit on, a DVD area for them and characters who popped in for meet and greet sessions each morning. Breakfast was included and it was a buffet-style which suited us well, we could fill up and find stuff that everyone liked and we actually managed to make it to the parks before the official opening time each day so that we got to go on the rides before the queues built up too much (a special perk for guests staying onsite). We managed to see quite a lot of the characters wandering round the parks and got to greet them without waiting for too long, thanks again to flashing William's disability pass at the staff members. Poppy took her princess dress and insisted on wearing it the first day, though she got cold even with thick clothes underneath so was happy not to wear it after that. But she did get to meet lots of the princesses and have her photo taken with them so she was a happy girl.

We saw all the main shows and parades - Mickey's Winter Wonderland show which was an ice-skating singing and dancing one with lots of characters, Princess Aurora's Christmas Wish (just for Poppy), Mickey's Magical Celebration with Merlin the wizard, the Christmas tree lighting ceremony, Disney Dance Express which popped up at random moments and got everyone dancing along the streets, the main Disney parade, Fantillusion the after-dark parade with lit-up floats, Cars and Stars parade in the Studios park, Stitch Live show and Sir and Poppy went to see the New Year's Eve fireworks over the castle (i was in bed with the boys by then). Also we'd booked tickets to see Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show on New Year's Eve which was fantastic - lots of horses, cows, bison, cowboys, lassooing, tricks, competitions, lots of fun and the kids loved the atmosphere and it came with a nice dinner and unlimited drinks. We got good spots for all the shows and parades, lots of them had a special reserved area for disabled guests so we made the most of that and the kids really enjoyed them all as did Sir and i!

Now onto each kid's favourites:

William - William's favourite rides were 'It's a small World' because of the music and singing and lots of colourful characters, 'Mad Hatters Teacups' because he loved the spinning motion, and the 'Slinky Dog' kids rollercoaster in the new Toy Story part of the Studios Park. i have a lovely photo of William meeting Mickey Mouse, where Mickey has bent down over William in his buggy and William is reaching up to tap his nose, though not all the character meetings went so smoothly - Santa Goofy patted him on the head and made him scream in protest! William loved all of the shops because of the bright colours and lots of things to look at, but wasn't interested in any of the soft toys - instead his favourite souvenirs are a light-up spinning Buzz Lightyear toy, a flashing Mickey Mouse keyfob and a book which has buttons to press to make noises and play music. William was a very alert and happy little man for the vast majority of the time we were there, taking in all the sights and colours and music. He loved all the shows and all the parades, especially the after-dark one because of all the pretty lights on the floats. And his seizures were at a minimum the whole time we were there, which was a blessing. He did get a little cranky on the journey back and had a grumpy day a couple of days after we returned, but on the whole i think it was a very positive experience for him and very stimulating for him in a good way, giving him lots of sensory experiences and opportunities to practise using his improved vision. And he didn't get overwhelmed by the crowds like i worried he might do, so it was all good.

Finn - Finn had many favourite rides: 'The Disney Railroad' because it was a train, 'Casey Junior Circus train' for the same reason, 'Autopia' and 'Cars Race Rally' because he could 'drive' a car, 'Pirates of the Caribbean' because of the boat and the music, 'Dumbo' because he could fly in an elephant, but his absolute favourite ride of all was 'Buzz Lightyear Lazer Blast' - he found it hilarious to zap the targets with his lazer gun with Sir's help and of course he fell in love with Buzz and Woody from Toy Story and had to get a Woody costume, Buzz and Woody toys and a lazer gun of his own to zap people walking past his buggy as well as several other toys! Finn also loved lots of the shows, especially the Cars and Stars one, the main Disney parade and the Stitch Live Show. He chose the Ratatouille character for his soft toy, maybe because we watched some of the film on TV on Christmas day, called it "rat rat" and cuddled it in his buggy the whole time we were there and in bed since getting home. He surprised us all by suddenly saying "fankoo" for the first time ever when i handed him his "rat rat" toy after paying for it, perhaps because Poppy had just said it when receiving her toy. And he got super-excited when he spotted the Ratatouille character meeting and greeting people in the Studios park, almost couldn't contain himself when waiting for his turn and then ran over and gave him a great big hug shouting "rat rat!" when beckoned over - another super cute photo! Finn was very good in the shops, not wanting everything like i thought he might but being content when told he could choose one thing. He thoroughly enjoyed himself and keeps wanting to look at the photos on the iPad since we have returned - a real pleasure to go on holiday with.

Poppy - Poppy loved Sleeping Beauty's Castle of course, but wasn't quite brave enough to visit the dragon underneath, especially after watching Finn go bounding in all confidently and then come out yelling a few seconds later! Her favourite rides were: 'Dumbo', 'Sir Lancelot's carousel' a traditional horses carousel ride, 'It's a small world', 'Slinky Dog', 'Peter Pan's Flight' and the 'Flying Carpets' ride. She wanted to go on the 'Snow White' ride but then got scared by the wicked witch so wouldn't go on again. Poppy absolutely loved meeting all the princesses and chatted their ears off when it was her turn to sit with them! She also persuaded Belle to dance with her and i have a lovely picture of the two of them dancing together. Poppy loved all of the shows, especially the ice-skating one and the parades with the princesses on the floats. And she was amazed by the horses at Buffalo Bill's show. Poppy wanted lots of the souvenirs in the shops but was happy to choose between them, especially when told we would be back another day - she is now the proud owner of a princess colouring book, a set of princess dolls with accessories, some Minnie Mouse ears on a headband, a Mr Potato Head with parts she chose herself (like a 'pick and mix' counter), a Mickey Mouse soft toy and lots of other things too. Poppy was very well-behaved, very patient, very kind to her brothers, said 'thank you' for everything and was a delight to have with us.

**Edited to add my favourite moments and rides i went on without the kids:
- Big Thunder Mountain (which Finn was disappointed he was too small to go on but enjoyed waving as the train went past), Phantom Manor, Space Mountain, Star Tours, Rock N Roller Coaster, Tower of Terror, Armageddon, Studio Tram Tours, Crush's Coaster
- i loved seeing the look on the kids' faces when the lamposts in Main Street started twinkling and the fake snow came down - it was magic :)
- eating at the Rainforest Cafe the first evening was fantastic and all the kids were mesmerised by the decor - we were sat right by the large elephant which was moving and making noises the whole time and every 20mins or so there was a 'thunderstorm', the food was nice too!
- seeing the kids interact with the characters
- all the Christmas decorations, music and special shows and parades - even though we went after Christmas i was still in the holiday mode and it made things more special
- the Fantillusion parade
- the Buffalo Bill show (we had front row seats)
- seeing the kids' excitement when Santa brought up the rear of the parade - Finn was yelling "Sanny!" so loudly!
- the delicious traditional sweets and fantastic cakes, pastries and fudge sold in one of the shops along Main Street - i had lots of treats from there :)
- all the lovely photos we took of our special holiday to keep as memories forever.

All in all a great holiday and a lovely start to the new year.

Survey of the year 2011

2011-12-29T15:36:00.001Z

Getting a couple of posts in before we go away to Disneyland tomorrow, so here's the now traditional survey of this year:

1. What did you do this year that you've never done before?

built and used a sensory room in the loft, gave injections to my baby, wore a clit clip, demo-subbed for a product stand at a play party, held a birthday party at the sealife centre with 12 kids, had sex outdoors.... many things!

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i purposefully didn't make any this year and feel much freer because of it, so not planning to make any for next year unless Sir tells me to.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth this year?

my sister gave birth to a little boy called Callum and he is gorgeous :)

4. Did anyone close to you die?

my nan did and it was sad, but she had a good life (she was 100).

5. What countries did you visit this year?

we are just about to visit France (Disneyland Paris), right at the end of the year!

6. What would you like to have in the next year that you lacked this year?

i honestly can't think of anything, though i am really looking forward to going to the London Olympics in August next year, so that should be good :)

7. What date from this year will remain etched upon your memory and why?

30th September - the date my sister gave birth (early) to her first baby.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

learning to tolerate the single-tail whip being used on me without panicking.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?

nothing beyond the usual colds, i've been quite healthy this year.

10. What did you get really, really, really excited about this year?

my sister's baby being born and our trip to Disneyland Paris.

11. What song will always remind you of this year?

can't really think of one, though the Sesame Street theme tune will serve to remind me of Finn's obsession with Elmo this year!

12. Compared to this time last year are you:- happier or sadder? :- richer or poorer? :- thinner or fatter?

happier (a little) because i am more accepting of William's disability and can see the fantastic progress he has managed to make, about the same financially and about the same weight wise though probably a little thinner as i have got rid of the baby weight from last year.

13. What do you wish you'd done more of?

been more patient with people making annoying comments about William - i'll try to work on this next year.

14. What do you wish you'd done less of?

falling asleep while using the laptop in the evenings - i'm going to get myself in trouble about it one of these days.

15. Did you fall in love this year?

i am already in love and that has continued to grow.

16. What was your favourite TV program for the year?

again, i haven't watched much TV this year but i have enjoyed 'Miranda', 'Outnumbered' and 'An idiot abroad' on the internet, as well as Big Brother.

17. What was the best book you read this year?

i don't think i had time to read a single book this year :(, too busy with the kids. Maybe next year?

18. What was your favourite film of the year?

Arthur Christmas, not because it was an amazing film but because it was the first one i have taken the twins to see at the cinema and they were so well-behaved and it got me in the Christmas spirit.

19. Who was the best new person you met this year?

moly (from the chatroom).

20. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned for this year?

that sometimes i won't be able to achieve everything Sir wants me to in my training, but so long as i try my best He'll still be pleased with me.

Our family Christmas

2011-12-27T09:15:00.000Z

Just a quick post to say that we all had a great Christmas. Thank you to everyone who sent messages or emails with Christmas wishes and a special thank you to one friend and blog reader who sent a voucher which will be spent on the kidlets soon!

Christmas Day itself we'd decided to spend together at home, just the 5 of us and it was a lovely day. Poppy and Finn were very excited the night before, culminating in Finn pulling his stocking down and wearing it on his head like a Wee Willy Winky hat, running round the house squealing..... but we did manage to get everyone settled down in bed and asleep at a reasonable time! Finn was the first awake in the morning and came toddling through dragging both his and William's stockings with him, shouting "Sanny! Sanny!" (Santa) so very soon after that all 3 kidlets were in our bed opening their presents from Santa - we give them a stocking of smaller gifts and a sack of larger gifts from Santa and then we save other presents under the tree from family to be opened after dinner. Poppy got the bike she wanted from Santa and was a very happy girl, Finn got a drumming Elmo and a cookie-counting Cookie Monster and was beside himself with delight and William got plenty of sensory toys and was happily learning how to play with them as i went downstairs to sort out the breakfast.

We watched some Christmas movies together in the morning and the kids played with their new toys some more (and Poppy tried out her bike down the driveway - it has stabilisers so she can ride it by herself, we'll remove those as she gets older). me and Sir had agreed to share the cooking this year and i wrote a schedule of when everything needed to be done, so it worked out really well and we didn't forget anything. Dinner was very tasty, there was plenty of it and all 3 kids ate some of it, even William ate the mashed potatoes mixed with a little gravy. Though we did have one moment in the middle of dinner when Finn suddenly took a dislike to his brussel sprouts and threw them at the wall shouting "Noooooo!", so had to have a couple of minutes calming-down time in the lounge while we got the wall cleaned up and then explained to him that that's not what we do with food we don't like! After dinner we sat round the Christmas tree to open more presents and this is when Sir and i exchanged gifts too. i got lots and lots of lovely things this year - spa vouchers, bath stuff, smellies, perfume, jewellery, clothes, DVDs, books, bags, shoes, nail polish, things to keep me warm in bed.... and Sir was very pleased with the presents He got too. The kids were thoroughly spoiled and got more toys than they knew what to do with and everyone went to bed that night full and tired and content :)

Yesterday (Boxing Day) we had my parents and Sir's mum round for lunch and the kidlets got even more presents, though William had had enough by then and we had to give him some quiet time in the sensory room to chill out for a bit. But leaving aside all the presents and food, what really made Christmas great for us this year was spending it together as a family, being with those we love, seeing the children so happy and content, playing together and appreciating how lucky we are to have each other. And as i sat there watching the kids playing and interacting with each other, i realised just how much each one of them has grown and progressed in the past year, in their own ways, and it made me really look forward to 2012 to see everything they are going to achieve next year. And of course i'm super excited about taking them to Disneyland (Paris) at the end of this week!

i hope everyone else had a great Christmas and got to spend some time relaxing with family and friends. And have a good New Year too!

Happy Christmas!

2011-12-24T11:45:00.000Z

i would like to wish all readers of this blog a very happy Christmas. i hope you all get to spend time with the ones you love, with plenty of presents, good food and lots of time to relax. We're planning on spending Christmas Day as a family together, then there'll be visits to and from extended family before we get ready for New Year's at Disneyland.

Happy holidays everyone :)

William (aka 'little peanut')

2011-12-24T10:43:00.004Z

And so we come to the last of my posts on my brilliant kidlets and i've saved possibly the most brilliant till last - this post is about William.

For those who don't know i'll give a brief explanation of William's disability (you might want to skip this paragraph if you already know): William was diagnosed with a condition called Tuberous Sclerosis before he was born - he has over 50 tubers in his brain, which basically means he has brain damage to every area except for the brain stem. He also has 2 subependynal nodules in his brain which have to be monitored because they could grow and cause fluid on the brain in future and he has smaller tubers in his heart but these are shrinking and haven't caused him any problems. William's brain damage means he has developmental delays (he is currently functioning at the level of a 3 month old at the age of 16 months) and epilepsy resulting in several seizures a day, despite being on a cocktail of medication. William also has a cortical visual impairment, meaning his brain can't process the messages from his eyes properly, sensory processing difficulties making him hyper-sensitive to some sounds, tastes and textures and he is also displaying some characteristics of autism which is strongly correlated with his condition. William is enrolled in an early intervention clinic and receives speech therapy, physiotherapy, hydrotherapy, a group music and movement session and advice and input from an occupational therapist and a visual impairment specialist. i also carry out daily therapy with William in the sensory room we built in our loft.

William has made amazing progress despite all his difficulties and he is now able to:
- look at, focus on and track objects, toys and pictures in normal lighting
- show recognition of familiar people and favourite toys
- show preferences for some colours over others
- operate large switch pads independently to activate favourite sensory equipment
- reach out for and take toys offered to him
- pick up toys from the floor to investigate
- tolerate and enjoy some textures
- splash with his hands in water
- support his own head
- remain in a seated position with cushions to support him
- push up from the floor with his arms for increasing amounts of time
- make happy, cross and upset noises

William is a very determined little boy and he doesn't let his disabilities get in the way of something he wants to do. He will try and try and try until he succeeds and he can be very stubborn when he wants to be! William is generally very happy and affectionate, loves physical contact and snuggling with his family, is beginning to respond to his twin brother Finn more and more (he learnt a new skill from Finn the other day that none of his therapists have been able to get him to do!), has a gorgeous giggle and a beautiful smile and quickly captures people's hearts. Some of William's favourite things are: bathtime and water play, light-up toys, music and songs, bubbles, ducks, being outside in the sunshine, watching the wind blowing the leaves on the trees, being in the woods or on the beach, massage and being in the sensory room. For Christmas we have got William a variety of sensory toys - ones that light up, play music, makes noises or are for water play. We think he will enjoy using them very much!

Thanks for reading about my little peanut, William

Finn (aka 'Tazmanian Devil')

2011-12-23T12:02:00.002Z

Time for the next post raving on about how brilliant my kidlets are - if a mum can't be proud of her own kids, then who can? This one about Finn.

Finn is a delightful mix of contrasts and opposites - he is very patient and laid-back when waiting to have his needs seen to and always has been (e.g. eating, drinking, being changed, etc), but yet he is very energetic in terms of needing to be on the go all day, constantly running and climbing and doing things, hardly ever sits down for long, etc. He is very thoughtful when it comes to William, very intuitive and understanding of his needs, encourages him to get involved and try to do things and he has always been this way since birth, but yet he is very destructive in his play and exploration of the world - some of his favourite things to do are tipping things out, pulling things onto the floor, piling things into heaps, banging things together, playing in the dirt, making a mess in general. He is very happy and contented, always smiling and giggling, excited about new things he can do and new things to be discovered, easy to keep amused and occupied, but yet he is also going through a 'no' phase where he answers 'no' to everything we ask him to do, has occasional but very big tantrums if he can't get his own way and has started having 'grumpy' moments where nothing can cheer him up. Overall, Finn is happy, cheeky, cheery, mischevious, friendly, impulsive, patient, energetic, tolerant, destructive, caring, noisy, thoughtful, boisterous and fun.

Finn, like Poppy, is ahead in his development and has been since he was born. He was early to walk and to talk and now at the age of 16 months has already mastered these skills:

- say about 60 words recognisably and is beginning to put words together into 2-word phrases
- use pointing, gestures and body language to communicate as well as some signs if he doesn't have the words
- ask questions using appropriate vocal tone
- understand most of what is said to him and answer simple questions, such as pointing to body parts etc.
- recognise many objects and pictures and point to them on request
- walk, run, go up and down stairs, climb, dance, throw objects, roll and kick a ball
- use a 'big boy' bed
- build towers of bricks and use stacking and posting toys
- complete simple inset puzzles on his own
- dig in sand using a spade and pour water into and out of containers
- feed himself and drink independently from an open cup
- take his clothes off and attempt to put some on
- copy adults' actions and engage in pretend play, such as using a toy hoover
- scribble with a crayon
- search for hidden objects and people

Some of Finn's favourite things are: Sesame Street (especially Elmo), cars, trains, motorbikes, boats, planes, trucks, tractors, balls, painting, messy play, music, noisy toys, bricks and building blocks, interactive character toys, bubbles, being outside, being naked, bath-time, water, the park, the woods, mud. For Christmas we have got Finn lots of Sesame Street toys, Duplo, a toy garage, a new train set, sensory and messy play toys, a baby drum set, a bubble blower, a ride-on tractor, sand and water toys and noisy/sound toys. He should be very happy with his loot!

Thanks for reading :)

Poppy (aka 'Daddy's princess')

2011-12-18T10:50:00.000Z

So i realised i've fallen by the wayside a little in terms of posts here, but honestly things are just so busy around here that it's difficult for me to find time to think of what to write, let alone find the time to write it. But with Christmas fast approaching i've been thinking lately about how brilliant my little family is and how proud i am to be the mummy of all three of my kidlets. So the next few posts are going to be about my brilliant children and giving more details on where they're at right now. If you're not interested in reading about my kids, feel free to skip them.....

Poppy is now 3 1/2, going on 13. Seriously, she seems so grown up sometimes, has such in depth conversations about things, has such brilliant logic and insight and understanding that often i forget she hasn't even started school yet and is still a very little girl. Poppy is definitely brighter than average for her age and i'm not just saying this because i'm her mummy. Some of the things Poppy can already do:

- write her own name and all the letters of the alphabet correctly
- copy words below an adult model accurately
- know all the letter sounds and say the letter that some words start with
- read quite a number of words on sight and try to sound out others using phonetic knowledge
- draw people, animals, trees, houses and cars recognisably
- attempt to copy shapes drawn by an adult
- name all shapes on sight, including pentagon, hexagon and octagon
- recognise numbers to 20 and count to 50
- count a set of objects accurately up to 10
- make a set of objects the same as one made by an adult
- say which set has more
- say colours, numbers, days of the week and animals in French
- answer questions in French including her name, address, age, etc.
- know the days of the week and months of the year
- know her name, address, phone number and date of birth
- name all the species of birds which visit our garden
- know facts on many animals
- ballet dance and swim
- and many more :)

Poppy has a thirst for learning and is currently wanting to learn to tell the time and recognise coins. She loves learning about animals and knows more about some of the species than i do! Poppy has many interests including: ballet and dancing, music and singing, French, reading stories, painting, arts and crafts, cooking and baking, animals and birds (especially sea creatures), swimming, writing and drawing, colouring, cutting and sticking, puppets, pretend play and dressing up, playing outside, walking in the woods, going to the beach, playground equipment, TV and films, play dough, stickers, hairdressing, Disney princesses, Dora the Explorer, Peppa Pig to name a few.
She is a great sister to both the boys, very patient with them, loves playing with them and spending time with them, tries to teach them new things and very proud when they learn something new, very protective of William and understanding of his problems. Poppy is usually very well-behaved, has good manners, rarely has tantrums or refuses to do something, tidies up after herself, is very loving and affectionate and friendly, loves to be helpful, has a very caring nature, is never demanding in terms of time, attention or material goods, is very bright and inquisitive and thoughtful and curious about the world. She is a great daughter and a lovely little girl and i am very lucky to be her mummy.

For Christmas we have got Poppy a mix of educational and fun presents including Dora the Explorer and Peppa Pig stuff, a bike, a play kitchen, an Innotab (kid's iPad), art and craft stuff, paints, colouring books, reading books, clothes, play dough and animal stuff. She should be very happy on Christmas morning!
Thanks for reading about my Poppy :)

About Dominants

2011-12-04T11:36:00.000Z

A while back now swan of 'The Heron Clan' wrote a post about Dominants and what natural qualities would be required to make a good Dom. Here's her list:

Honesty
Trustworthiness
Integrity
Self-Control
Sense of Humor (even at himself)
Capacity to Love, Be Loved and to Express that Love
Desire to Learn and Grow, both for himself and for his partner
Dependability
SELF AWARE

i have said before that i consider Sir to be naturally Dominant, not in an arrogant arsehole got-to-be-in-charge-of-everything way, but there are many personality traits He possesses which make Him naturally dominant in all of His relationships, in the way He interacts with people, in a work situation, in His private life, etc. So here below is a list of the natural qualities i believe Sir has that make Him a good Dom:

- air of authority
- confidence
- practicality
- trustworthiness
- honesty
- good communicator
- good listener
- empathetic
- self-control
- consistency
- integrity
- dependability
- self-awareness
- sense of humour
- compassion

I think that people who possess the above characteristics are likely to act in a dominant way in their lives, even if they are not Dominants in the BDSM sense. Of course other people will possess some or most or all of the above traits to some extent, but it is when someone has them in abundance that they make a good Dom/me. IMHO of course :)

Sorry for not going into more detail on my thoughts on these characteristics and why they are so important to my Sir being a good Dom. Things are a little crazy round here at the moment trying to get ready for Christmas and our Disneyland Paris trip straight after, keep the household running, look after the kids and keep up with all William's therapies and the clubs we go to, teach Poppy who is super thirsty for knowledge right now, stop Finn from destroying the whole house and the Christmas tree in particular, be a good wife and slave to Sir and so on... you get the picture. But i'm very happy for anyone to leave their comments on this post and tell me the qualities you think a good Dom/me should have. Thanks!

formspring.me

2011-11-27T09:40:00.003Z

Ask me questions about BDSM http://www.formspring.me/libbysub

formspring.me #85

2011-11-27T09:40:00.001Z

I'm 20 and I'm having a hard time...does it get better? Were you lonely before you met Him? How did you cope?

i think it was different for me because before i met Sir i thought of myself as 'vanilla' (not that i knew that term, but i considered myself 'normal' and not kinky in any way), so i was perfectly happy with 'normal' boyfriends. i just happened to be attracted to men that were older than me and men that were naturally dominant and in control. Once i found out that i had an interest in kinky sex (which is all i thought my interest extended to in the beginning) i met Sir soon after and He led me through my training and discovery in this area and we have been together ever since. So i was one of the lucky ones, i never went through a time of waiting and wishing for my perfect Master to come along, or felt lonely or left out or different. i was never stuck in a vanilla relationship feeling that my needs weren't being met or endlessly searching the web for that one genuine Dom. i'm sorry i can't be of more help but i would say hang in there, do all you can to talk to and meet up with like-minded people so you don't feel so alone and i hope you find what you're looking for soon.

Ask me anything (250 characters)

In response.....

2011-11-23T07:19:00.001Z

... to a post on another blog which was obviously directed, at least in part, to me, though it didn't name me. i have been pondering the best way to respond to this post, if at all, and have finally decided to post my response here, quoting from that original blog post but without mentioning any names. Here goes:

Firstly i don't think it is ever a good idea to view your relationship as 'in a league of your own' or to state that your Dom's 'way of doing things is superior to nearly every other Dom/sub relationship out there'. Of course lots of us feel that our Dom is perfect for us, that He does things in a way which is suited to our unique needs and we cannot imagine another Dom being able to do things quite as well. And many/most of us feel that our own D/s relationship is better for us than other such relationships we might read about on the internet. But the crucial points in those sentences are the phrases 'for us' - saying that my D/s relationship is better and more suited to me than any other D/s relationship i have read about and saying that my Sir is a better Dom for me than any other Dom i have met is not the same thing as saying my relationship is in a league of its own or my Dom is superior to others. That just smacks of arrogance, one-upmanship and a complete lack of understanding that every sub is different, every Dom is different and therefore every D/s relationship will be different. What works for one relationship will not work for others, what makes one Dom great would make another not-so-good, what one sub needs another sub hates, and so on. One of the great things about the BDSM community is its tolerance and acceptance of a wide range of practices, beliefs and preferences and i think this openess is important and integral to the lifestyle, so it concerns me to hear someone using words and terms like 'league of our own' and 'superior'.

The post then goes on to list ways in which she believes her Dom to be 'superior' to others, which basically consists of statements saying 'because He does not......'. Again, just because something isn't right for you doesn't make it not right for others and certainly doesn't make your Dom superior to those who do carry out those practices. Some of the things listed are 'my Dom doesn't control every single facet of my life' (that's to do with the sub/slave thing, with whether you agree to hand over control of all of your life as a slave or whether you negotiate to retain control of certain parts of it as a sub), 'my Dom doesn't debase me' (humiliation and forms of debasement are an important part of some D/s and M/s relationships - you specifically mention my rule about leaving the bathroom door open when i am in there, which is something that works for me and my Sir, but yet you see it in a very negative way), 'my Dom allows me to have a job if i want one' (again this is to do with levels of control and doesn't at all make your Dom better or superior to those who have stay-at-home subs or slaves) and so on. Comments are made which start off with 'all it will gain the Dom that requires it is a sub that rebels.....', 'there is one thing that will make a woman submit faster and that is.......', 'there is no long-term future in any Dom/sub relationship where....', 'a Dom that.... is a Dom that doesn't deserve to be a Dom'. What you should have put is 'all it will gain the Dom that requires it of me is that i will rebel...', 'there is one thing that will make me submit faster and that is....', 'there is no long-term future in any relationship for me where...' and 'a Dom that..... is a Dom that isn't right to be my Dom' - what you are doing is taking your needs and preferences and projecting them onto each and every D/s relationship out there and any dynamic that doesn't follow exactly your ways is seen as inferior and not as good as yours. BDSM is not a cookie-cutter, one size fits all thing and to see it that way and to write about it with such clear contempt and disdain for other people's interpretation of the lifestyle does none of us any favours.

Thanks for reading, have a nice day.

VBA

2011-11-20T09:08:00.001Z

Master Dream's precious treasure very kindly nominated me for a VBA (Virtual Blogger Award)!! Here's the rules of how to participate:

1. Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass this award along to 15 blogs you enjoy reading.

4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.

OK, here goes!

Obviously i would like to thank MD's treasure for nominating me. She has a great blog herself, which is on my reading list in my sidebar: here. When she nominated me she wrote:

"libby is a blast to read! She's candid and upfront about everything she believes in! She's a slave living with her husband and three kids and her blog is anything but boring! There are struggles and many triumphs and as a reader you're drawn in like one of the family very quickly. i love to read this blog!"

Awwww, thank-you, that was very kind :) Now for the 7 things about myself (and i'm going to try to make sure they're things i haven't already included on this blog):

1. When i was little i broke my sister's thumb by shutting it in a door-jamb (accidently).

2. i am addicted to sponges (bath sponges, car sponges, etc) - i love to make them damp and then sniff them.

3. i like to sit on the loo and ponder things; sometimes i can be in there for quite a while and lose track of time! But i seem to do my best thinking in the bathroom.

4. i can be relaxed just by watching 'spa' videos on YouTube (e.g. massages, hair treatments, pedicures, etc).

5. my favourite song is 'Dancing in the Moonlight' by Toploader, because it is such a happy song.

6. i love buying 'knick knacks' for the house; my dream is to fill it with souvenirs from every part of the world.

7. i feel like some of the friends i have made online are closer to me than some of my 'real' friends are and they certainly know more about me!

i'm going to be a bit naughty and not nominate anyone else for the award because i think most of the people i would want to pass it on to have already had it. But if your blog is on my sidebar and you haven't received this award yet, consider yourself nominated!

A bit of a failure

2011-11-20T08:00:00.001Z

Those of you who keep up with these things will know that i've had 'cumming on demand' in my current training list for a while now. It's something that Sir started teaching me a long time ago and has continued to work on gradually, hoping to eventually attain the state where He can make me cum at any time just by telling me to.

When He first explained the training and expected outcome to me, i was sceptical, wondering if it was possible for anyone to get to the point where they could be made to orgasm just because their Master commanded it. After all, us women are fussy little creatures and some of us can find it hard to cum anyway, needing just the right stimulation in just the right spot for just the right amount of time in order to achieve it. i'm not as bad as that and normally i can cum pretty easily, but i do require some form of stimulation down there to make it happen.

Having said all that, there had been some progress in this training - i was able to cum on demand a few minutes after stimulation had ceased, and i was also able to cum on demand when i was feeling 'not quite there yet'. Sir has worked on both these areas and i am now much more consistent with them, and also He has gradually got me to the point where the amount of stimulation i need before He gives the command is quite a bit less than it used to be.

But.... it seems that is as far as i can go with this training. Sir has tried for months and months now to push it a little further each time, to get me slowly towards the point where i can cum from no stimulation at all. And whilst the mind is willing, it seems the body is not. There's a level of stimulation which i can't get beyond, where if He gives me less than that my body just won't obey the command to cum. So Sir has now declared this particular training 'finished' even though i have not 'passed' it. He hasn't used the word 'failed' because He says He is pleased with my efforts and there has been some success in the outcome, but i know He was hoping for more and it does make me feel like i have let Him down and failed Him to some extent.

Some people reading here are probably thinking that it was an impossible task and nobody can actually achieve true cumming on demand. But i have talked to other subs online who can do it (and they can do it just by reading the command on screen, since they live apart from their Masters) and Sir has successfully taught one of His previous subs to be able to do it. i guess it's one of those things which is possible for some people but not for everyone. But that still doesn't make me feel any better about it.

So today i am a bit of a failure.

formspring.me #84

2011-11-06T10:38:00.001Z

A couple of quick questions from my formspring account:

What is the age-difference between you and your Master?

13 and a bit years - Sir was 45 in February, i was 32 in August. But to be honest i don't really notice the age difference, and i think it would be weird to have a Master younger than me (for me personally, though i think it could work for some couples). Also i have always been drawn to men older than me, so it makes sense for me.

Do you have an email? or somewhere i can write you?
Sir's email is linked to the top of this blog: sir.peter@hotmail.co.uk
Sir passes all the emails about this blog onto me and allows me to reply to most of them and to send my email address onto some of them. He doesn't let me put my own email address on this blog because of all the trolls! i always like getting emails from blog readers, as well as comments and formspring questions.

That's all the questions in my account answered now, but please feel free to send me some more:

Ask me anything (250 characters)

'Spring forward... fall back...'

2011-10-30T08:51:00.001Z

What did all the UK readers do with their extra hour today? i would like to have had another hour of sleep this morning but the kidlets woke at their usual time (it's hard to explain clocks going back to an energetic 14-month old!). So we decided to spend some snuggle time in bed with all 5 of us instead, watching 'momo' (Elmo) videos while eating breakfast together. It was really lovely and a nice relaxed way to start the day and spend our extra hour and i'm so proud to be the mummy of 3 such gorgeous kiddies and a wife/slave to such a wonderful Sir :)

The Tabak thing

2011-10-30T08:12:00.000Z

So the British newspapers have been full of the Vincent Tabak story this week - the man who murdered Joanna Yeates in her own flat last Christmas. He has been sentenced to 20 years in jail, which in my opinion isn't long enough for taking someone's life..... but the thing which has upset me most about this whole thing is the way that Tabak's liking for BDSM porn sites has been depicted in the media.

The evidence wasn't allowed to be used during the trial so it didn't affect the verdict of the jury, but afterwards the papers have been full of the fact that Tabak used to visit websites such as 'Sex and Submission' and watch videos, some of which included women having men's hands round their throat during sex. These websites and videos have been described as 'sick', 'depraved', 'perverted', etc. and consequently so has Tabak with the media making much of the fact that this is how he killed his victim. The assumption seems to be that people who view these kinds of BDSM videos are sick in the head and in danger of 'acting out' their 'twisted perversions' by harming or killing an innocent stranger.

Now you and i both know that's far from the truth, but i can't help thinking that this whole case has hardly helped paint the lifestyle in a positive light or done anything to dispel people's prejudices against D/s relationships. If anything it has confirmed their views that people who engage in BDSM practices, or even 'fantasise' about them as in Tabak's case, are not right mentally, are socially inadequate and are a danger to those around them. i (obviously) disagree with this, much the same way i don't see that everyone who plays video games necessarily goes on to re-enact them in real life by going on a shooting spree (though a rare few do).

*Sigh*, i guess i just wish that for once D/s relationships and BDSM in general (even the porn sites) could be depicted in a more positive light in the British media. But i guess we're still quite some way off from that day.

formspring.me #83

2011-10-24T10:30:00.001+01:00

Have you ever felt like there was a day or two where you struggled with your submission, or felt like you werent being as submissive as you could have been?

Of course. i think that's true of anything though - there's days when i feel like i haven't been as 'motherly' as i could have been, as patient as i could have been, as 'housewifey' as i could have been, as productive as i could have been, etc. And there's days i struggle with being a mum, with being a stay-at-home wife, with being responsible for a child with special needs, with being a good friend or sister or daughter or whatever.

i don't think i have more days where i struggle with being submissive or that i struggle with my submission more than i struggle with anything else, but it does feature more prominently in my life so it's something i take very seriously and try my best to work on and do well in and make progress in. And because it's the basis of my relationship with Sir it's something that affects me more when i have difficulties with it than perhaps another aspect of my life might.

i'm not sure whether you asked this question because you sense problems within me related to my submission (especially since William has been born) or you struggle with your own submission at times and feel it's only you. But either way i would say it's natural to have these struggles, that everyone has bad days and that the fact that these struggles affect us (me) shows how committed we are (i am) to our relationships and to being in the lifestyle.

Thanks for your question, anyone else want to ask something?

Ask me anything (250 characters)

More on my boys

2011-10-23T10:08:00.000+01:00

So yeah, if you're here to read about the BDSM stuff only you might want to skip this post. Try reading the one i'm going to post later today.....

Still here? Then it's time to boast about my amazing little boys (and Poppy a bit!). We took them to town yesterday to choose their Halloween outfits. Finn was very definite that he wanted this one:

and even tried hard to say the word 'skeleton' (but it comes out more like 'selly'). Talking of talking... Finn's language skills continue to amaze me everyday. Now he is 14 months old he should be using about 7 words correctly in context, but when i counted them the other day he has 42 words he uses recognisably and adds more everyday! He is also a very alert and clever little bean, shown by many examples such as when he suddenly shouted "HOT!" at a man opening an oven door in a kitchen showroom the other day - he wanted to warn the man not to get hurt because he didn't realise the oven wasn't working. Bless him!

Anyway, back to Halloween. We chose this costume for William:

because it's an all-in-one suit which doesn't have anything that goes on the head or the feet, both of which William hates. To be honest, William wasn't really interested in the costumes but he did like lots of the light-up toys which we got some of for him.

Poppy was very excited about getting her costume and determined to be a witch this year, even though i showed her lots of alternative (and cuter in my opinion) costumes. She assures me she will be a 'good' witch and has chosen this costume:

but in black and gold (which for some reason i couldn't find on the website). We also got her some black and gold stripey tights to wear under it and she does look cute with it on. Poppy is super excited about going 'trick-or-treating' with her Daddy again this year and we got her a cauldron-style bucket to collect her goodies in. While Sir and Poppy are gone, me and the boys will be manning the door of our house, giving out sweeties to any trick-or-treaters who might stop by (until the boys fall asleep, that is). And we've already bought plenty of decorations for the house, both outside and in.

Sorry for the slightly erratic nature of this post but my brain seems to be jumping around everywhere at the moment! In other news, William is doing really well with his sitting and i can now leave him propped up with cushions and he will stay sitting there pretty good. And he has so much better control of his head and neck now than he used to. Also he is tolerating food much better, though he will still only eat 7 different things. And he is using his hands much more functionally than before, only curling them into fists when he touches a texture he doesn't like rather than keeping them in fists for the whole time. His vision is so much improved too and he now enjoys watching the leaves blowing on the trees or looking at the cars driving past as he sits in his buggy, things that he wouldn't even have been able to 'see' properly a few months ago. He now receives a weekly session with a speech therapist at the early intervention clinic, on top of his weekly physio, hydrotherapy and group therapy sessions, plus all the daily work i do with him in our sensory room and the various clubs we go to, so i am hopeful that he will continue to improve :).

Finn continues to amaze me everyday with his sheer brilliance, his love of life, his cheeky nature and the way he just picks up new skills out of nowhere and starts using them as if he could always do it! This morning i was surprised by Finn toddling into our bedroom saying "Woo woo?", when i thought he was fast asleep in his cot in his own room. It seems he had woken up, seen William wasn't there (i had brought him into our bed in the middle of the night after a cluster of seizures), figured out how to climb out of his cot and came looking for his brother. Once he found him, Finn promptly climbed into our bed too and sat there "glah"ing at his cleverness and grinning at everyone!

Poppy is absolutely amazing too. She is only 3 1/2 but talks as if she is about 8 or 9! She can read approximately 20 words and is learning to sound out others phonetically (she knows the names and sounds of all the letters of the alphabet), can write her own name independently and copy some other letters under a model, counts to 30 and recognises numbers to 20, colours beautifully, cuts with scissors, paints fantastic pictures, makes up stories, engages in pretend play for hours at a time, knows lots of words and phrases in French, is a beautiful ballet dancer, swims confidently and now wants to learn to ride a bike! It's hard keeping up with her sometimes (and with Finn) but i want to let her try her hand at everything she is interested in and see what her full potential will turn out to be. Poppy is due to start in the Reception class of the local village school next September and we have been offered a part-time place for her at the nursery there after Christmas. After much debating we have decided to take up that place, so Poppy will be starting proper nursery school in January! i am a little nervous but mainly excited and i'm sure her development will surge forward once again as she will have access to some much educational resources and input.

Thanks for reading about my 3 poppets :)

What's 'wrong'?

2011-10-22T10:49:00.000+01:00

OK, so i know i haven't posted here for a while (anyone ever tried looking after a whirlwind of a 14 month old boy, another 14 month old with disabilities, a very bright 3 year old and a household and a very special Sir as well as finding time to blog?) and i'm apologising in advance that this post isn't going to be an interesting BDSM one but a bit of a rant instead. But i'll try to do some BDSM posts later this weekend.

What this post is about is all those people who come over to us when we're out (me and the boys), i guess because they are fascinated by twins, chat and interact with Finn, try to do the same with William and then turn to me and ask "What's wrong with him?".

There is nothing 'wrong' with William. He is perfect just as he is. To ask what is 'wrong' is to imply that he's 'damaged goods' in some way in contrast to his 'perfect' twin Finn. Yes, William has a disability and i guess what those people are really asking is "What is his condition/specific disability?" but to phrase it as "What's wrong?" seems very clumsy and insensitive to me. So my answer has become "Nothing's wrong with him. What's wrong with you?" which may not be the best way to deal with it, but when i'm tired and stressed it does make me feel a bit better.

Thanks for listening, rant over.

Why do it?

2011-10-09T10:10:00.001+01:00

Several times this question has cropped up on this blog: why do i bother going into online BDSM chatrooms when i have a r/l M/s relationship with my Sir? i know i've given some reasons before, but i want to properly answer the question here, giving all my reasons so that hopefully people understand a bit better:

1. friendship - i mainly go into the BDSM chatroom to catch up with my friends. i have made quite a few friends in the room and it's nice to be able to chat with them and find out what's new in their lives. It's a lovely thing to have people interested in my life and my family and supporting me in my achievements and helping me with my problems and stuff.

2. relationships - there are some people in the chatroom who i have formed special relationships with, who i am attracted to, who i love, who i have a deep connection with. It's important for me to continue going there so that i can keep up those relationships, otherwise i would miss those people who are so important to me.

3. advice - in my real-life there's not that many people i can go to for relationship or BDSM advice (except for Sir of course). i don't even feel i can really talk about that stuff with the subs/slaves of Sir's friends because i don't get to see them that often and don't know them well enough to share all my problems. But i know there's enough people in the chatroom for me to be able to get a range of opinions and advice from others who know what i'm going through and can share their own experiences.

4. relaxation - in the evenings when the kiddies are in bed and Sir and i are snuggled up together on the sofa or in bed, i need to find something to occupy myself and help me chill out. i'm not really interested in TV and usually too tired to read, so i choose to chat online instead. i feel like need a bit of 'me' time after being busy with the kids and the house all day.

5. slave needs - due to the fact that we have 3 young children and one of them has significant special needs, there's not that much time for me and Sir to do Master and slave stuff. Sometimes my slave side can feel neglected, not through anyone's fault, but because of the way our life is right now. i can't express my slave side in my interactions with mose people i meet during the day, so being free to be myself and act in a submissive manner in the chatrooms helps to redress that balance and make me feel more at peace.

i hope that helped explain some of the reasons i still visit the online chatrooms. Obviously i'm not there seeking a Dom/me or even looking for some 'play' because i get that in real-life. i will occasionally scene with someone i know well, but that's more due to my relationship with them than to get a need met. And i'm well aware of the difficulties and deceptions which are attached to online friendships, but i think they're worth the risk considering all the benefits i get.

formspring.me #82

2011-10-02T08:39:00.001+01:00

Are you still posting to this blog? what's up in your life?

yes i'm still posting here, just not as frequently as i once did. Which isn't surprising i guess, given that we now have a very bright and active 3 year old, a whirlwind of destruction aka a 1 year old and another 1 year old with complex disabilities and medical needs! But i still value and enjoy blogging here when i can.

Are you worried that your kids could find out about your M/s relationship when they're older?
Not really 'worried' because i hope that by the time they do 'find out' (that's if they ever do because i certainly never found out the details of my parents' relationship) they will know enough about us as people and our beliefs and values that they will realise it's a healthy relationship for us, it's what we've both chosen and we're very much in love with each other. We're bringing our children up to learn that there's different types of people in the world who make different choices about all aspects of their lives and they should value those choices so long as they don't harm anyone. So i don't see it being a problem.

Hey libby, you just answered my question....81. By pictures i meant just regular g rated pictures not x rated
Sir's rules apply to all pictures of me as He doesn't want us 'outed' to our friends and families unless and until we are ready to 'out' ourselves. Which is probably never. i'm not sure why pictures of me are so important anyway.

Your rules on sexual use are detailed with regard to your mouth. Does your master treat your mouth, vagina and anus equally or is your mouth of more use to Him?
Sir uses all 3 of my holes and is pretty equal with His use of them. He does go through phases where He tends to use one more than the others, but on a whole it balances out. i think the reason i have more rules regarding my mouth than my vagina or anus is because i have more 'control' when my mouth is being used, so Sir felt it necessary to stipulate His preferences and requirements from the outset on this area so i know what is expected of me. Also i am required to offer/give Him a blowjob everyday, so i guess that's also why there's more rules about my mouth.

What would you have done if your Sir had wanted you to abort William?
This is a really difficult and emotive question and one i have put off answering for a while. In a way it's irrelevant because Sir had no intention of aborting William so the issue never arose and because of the kind of person He is i never thought that He would so it's not something i even had to worry about. But if the situation had arisen that Sir wanted to abort William and i didn't we would have discussed it openly together, including all the reasons for and against and come to a decision together. my rules state that in all decisions to do with the children i have an equal voice, so the fact of Sir being my Master wouldn't have meant i automatically have to go with His decision in this case. And we had Finn to think about too, which would have/ did influence our decision.

What are some good ways to meet Doms?
Go along to a local munch or play party or other BDSM event.
Or start out chatting to people on the internet and take it from there (being aware that lots of people online are not who they say they are).

What does it mean when you put under protection of the Dom?
i think this is primarily an online thing, though i guess it could apply to real-life too, such as at play parties and events. It usually applies to an unattached sub, often someone new and inexperienced who is concerned he/she may be taken advantage of. So a more experienced Dom acts as the Protector and sets certain guidelines for the sub's conduct and anyone interested in the sub would have to go through the Dom. That way the 'bad eggs' can be weeded out and the sub can be prevented from doing anything which may lead them into a difficult or dangerous situation.

Did your Sir really make you poo onto a plate in front of Him for humiliation training? Was it as humiliating as it sounds?
Yes and yes.

Do you and Sir watch porn together? Do you watch porn or enjoy it? What type do you/ you and Sir enjoy?
We rarely watch porn together though sometimes Sir will direct me to a particular photo or video clip online and ask for my comments. i like the Kink.com sites (especially Hogtied and Device Bondage) but don't visit them anymore because they're now illegal in this country under the new porn laws and it's not worth getting caught. Porn isn't a big thing for me or Sir, so we tend to do without it.

hi im chris i have just become involved with a very exp slave i am a fairly new dom she is great and i need to learn more about her and what i need to do to make things work be good to her and her needs need some advice here thanks chris
The first thing i would say is it's difficult to take a Dom seriously when He types without punctuation at all and also i associate small 'i's with subs, but that's just me. i think that many of the same rules apply to vanilla relationships as D/s so imagine what you would do if in a vanilla relationship with someone more experienced and do the same. Having said that it is important for the Dom to take the lead and be in control, so set some rules and requirements for her to follow, ensure she keeps them and give out consequences if not, try to attend some training sessions on aspects of 'play' you want to learn more about and practice them (especially for any implement you may be using) and don't be afraid to get her to teach you. It's difficult for me to answer, being a sub, but that's the best advice i can give (and Sir is too busy for me to ask today).

Your "I had a dream" post was very moving. Did it take you a while to get used to being used anally? Did you train with a plug?
yes it did take a while and it was something i was very nervous and unsure about in the beginning, but now it is something i love. There's something very submissive about being used there, it instantly puts me in a certain headspace which i really like. For details of my anal training please see #46 and #42.

That's all the questions in my formspring account answered for now. Please feel free to ask me more questions (but please read through the previous answers first to check i haven't already answered them - thanks!)

Ask me anything (250 characters)