Dai's Blog

Complete.

2013-06-21T00:03:00.000+08:00

It sure took some time. But it doesn't matter now.

200613.

Love and be loved.

M.F.B.D

2013-06-16T05:33:00.001+08:00

Met at Vivo, she was late and lost. Went to S.E.A Aquarium, then had Starbucks (introduced to Soy Green Tea Latte), went to play the luge and skyride, dinner at Hard Rock Cafe (funny reservation story), then luge and skyride for the other trail, then cable car back to Vivo, Toy'R'Us, Timezone, light drinking at Sports Bar, Fast 6, then supper at Old Hong Kong Cafe, then sent her home. Yep. You could say it was a good date. Good job well done!

Something to ponder

2013-06-03T00:13:00.001+08:00

Is it really that hard to ignore your emotions, put it aside, and stand for 'the greater good'?

Because I've done it, and it wasn't as hard as I thought.

Then again, 'the greater good' is what one perceive as, and might not be the absolute truth.

But we can't deny that ignoring one's emotions may also mean running away from it.

So I guess the battle between the heart and the mind rages on.

Which side would you take?

空虚

2013-04-14T05:20:00.000+08:00

you walked away,
you say, let's not talk anymore

i didn't stay,
i took off, closed the door

you told me things,
i never thought could've be

and so it seems,
i've lost myself, indefinitely

there's a special place for me in hell.

Y U NO APPEAR?!

2013-03-18T22:54:00.001+08:00

Broken promises die, like roadkill

Their on the side of the street

Concrete casualties of love

Chewed up and spit out

Raise high then dropped down

And now I don't know what's left of me.

but I'll collect myself and crawl through the shadows.

Reach up my hands to the sky and shout out

I'll never make these same mistakes again.

Cause someone up there holds the key to my heart

I'd do everything to tear it apart

By never allowing myself to let you win.

When all I want is for you to see.

The side that I don't show to anyone in fear that they may turn and run.

Alone and incomplete,

No more tears to cry and no more blood to bleed.

I'll fall forever endlessly

When you should be the ground beneath my feet

The better half of me.

When all I want is for you to see

The side that I don't show to anyone in fear that they may turn and run.

Alone and incomplete,

No more tears to cry and no more blood to bleed

Mayans please be wrong

2012-12-19T01:05:00.001+08:00

I should be sleeping now.

After all, I'll need to wake up in just a few hours time to depart. Will only be back on 21st.

Ah, the 21st. And the Mayans. Legend has it that it will be the end of the world then. Not a strong believer here but I have this feeling something WILL happen.

I personally don't mind a zombie apocalypse. Survival of the fittest eh?

The reason for this post is, that in an event the world really does end, this would be the post to show my gratitude for all the people in my life.

Not exactly good with words, so it's all gonna be short and sweet.

To my parents, I know we don't communicate as much as we should, and that's really not healthy, but I'm very thankful for bringing me up all these years. I doubt I was a pain in the ass, but there were times I made you cry, made you sad, made you disappointed and all. I'm sorry for those times. If anyone were to ask what have I achieved in life, I probably can't give a good answer, but I do hope I am enough of a son that you can be proud of. I love you, mum & dad.

To my friends, whichever clique you are, whenever and wherever I've know you, no matter how long it was since we last met and catch up, I just want to say thanks, for being part of my life, be it a short period or even still ongoing, you have been part of my life no matter the extent of it. Thank you for supporting my nonsense, putting up with me, getting into trouble and getting out together, suffer and enjoy as a whole, it has been one hell of a ride! And yes, I might not meet up with all my friends frequently, but rest assured, once 'registered', you will always have a place.

To the haters, not like I'm a superstar, but in life, you are bound to have haters. I can think of mine already. Sorry if I was harsh with the words I used, but in my defense, I had to vent my anger someway, and that worked for me. I'm sure you are in a better place now. I sincerely wish you well. If my apology does make a difference, then here it is. I'm sorry. I'm not expecting things to go back to how it was, but I hope my apology is accepted, it does feel good to know, that if I die, one person less hates me.

Time flies, I'm almost 23, that is, if I survive. My life has been great so far. Sure, it has its ups and downs, but do I have any regrets? Not much. Will I go through all this again? In a heartbeat.

In a heartbeat.

DISCLAIMER: NOT AN EMO POST.

2012-10-30T01:09:00.001+08:00

Love is a game.

Games should be fun.

Where's my player 2?

And I need a gameshark.

what a rush

2012-09-01T03:22:00.000+08:00

And here we are living in a place where the good guy falls for the wrong girl, and a good girl chasing after the same guy who's not meant for her.

Still a better love story than twilight.

Don't wait.

Operation S.B.F.

2012-08-20T22:34:00.004+08:00

I hereby declare that Operation S.B.F. will begin tomorrow.

I truthfully hope it works. This might jolly well be one of things I really need now.

Godspeed.

'how do you learn to love someone, when you hadn't even learnt to love yourself?'

what's inside

2012-08-19T04:29:00.000+08:00

had too much to drink yesterday, but somehow, with help from friends, I managed to make it back home though I can't remember most of the details like climbing the stairs up from bf to take a cab and all.

but hey, my mum found me SIT-SLEEPING on the sofa so i guess its all good.

i have a theory as to how i made it back.

many should be familiar as to how we classify oneself physically. that is to say, we each have individual body parts, internal body parts, etc.

and these physical stuff would determine one's properties such as speed, strength, flexibility, IQ, blood pressure, cholesterol level, DRINKING LEVEL and what not. basically things that modern science can measure.

and then comes the NON-physically self. for the lack of a better word, i shall term it as our 'inner self'.

maybe it can be linked with our subconscious mind, but this is what i think takes over when our physical self fails us.

properties such as determination, perseverance, willpower, and all, which can't be measured, makes up our inner self.

so when we are drunk, or very sick(e.g. in coma), our inner self takes over. bring on the thunder and the rain, for if you have a strong inner self, you probably make it through.

just another random theory.

oh. randomly formed a quote too.

here goes nothing.

'love has failed me one time too many, that i feel the need to ensure it exist.'

120812

2012-08-12T05:24:00.002+08:00

today was a revelation for me. i realise various facts that perhaps i should have known long ago.

first off, it doesn't pay to be nice. you might have the right intention, but your counter part might not feel that way, especially so when they are intoxicated. that being said, it might, even the slightest possibility, turn everything into a mess.

i should not be nice. that's the lesson i learnt. it goes against my upbringing and teaching i've went through, but tonight, i've seen it first hand, things don't always work out the way you wanted it to be.

while i thought i would be of help, it ended up a huge big mess.

second, i am weak. i could not even defend my friend, resulting in some totally unnecessary physical damage to him. i am sorry. while i can argue that i am not exactly at fault in the entire saga, it doesn't change the fact that because of me, you had to go through physically pain which you totally don't deserve.

if all she wanted was to vent off the unforeseen anger she kept deep inside due to whatever reason, she could have come right at me man. WHY did you have to vent it on my friend?!

i am sorry, dear friend.

i give you my word.

i will get stronger, better, faster.

i must be able to defend my friends in whatever circumstances.

always.

enough.

2012-07-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

at a wrong venue, at the wrong time, in a wrong setting and a wrong attire...

i RANDOMLY asked a chick for her number.

i swear its EITHER i'm slightly high from some drinks, OR i merely have nothing better to do and just trying my luck cause she was relatively attractive.

ANYWAY, i got rejected.

i didn't felt super sad or whatever, probably because there's EITHER an icebox OR a blackhole where my heart used to be.

but enough is enough.

i hereby declare that, i shall now work my way to make myself stronger, better, faster.

in the distant future, i hope there's gonna be a change.

saint agnes and the burning train

2012-06-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

the awkward moment when... you just changed to an AWESOME phone, but realize it doesn't make a big difference since no one messages/calls you anyway.

a soldier never gives up.

2012-06-17T19:45:00.002+08:00

today, i lost a friend, a comrade.

joe went through a course with me back when we were all trainees.

we went through hardships before getting our badge.

like me, he was a fellow Monster Hunter as well(hah).

sadly, he left us today.

he put a brave fight nonetheless.

you will always be remembered.

RIP, joe.

what to say walking out of a burning building

2012-06-13T02:12:00.001+08:00

"we all have to face death eventually, but today just happen to not be that day..."

now you're just somebody that i used to know.

2012-06-10T04:56:00.000+08:00

Long legs and long eyelashes,
In your eyes, my heart crashes.
Tainted history that wouldn't go,
Angelic face, that's all I know.

Whether you were lying about whatever you said, it's was nice to know you. At least to the very end, you make it all worth while.

I sincerely wish you all the best in your future.

This one goes out

2012-05-27T03:05:00.001+08:00

To the fucking asshole wearing blue red white checkered shirt with signs of hair loss on the dancefloor of zouk tonight. You are a complete douchebag. There is a reason no chicks want to dance with you and thats because you are a piece of ugly fuck. And to think you dare to attempt to shove me away. Nice try but fuck off seriously. You are one of the reason people didnt enjoyed themselves tonight. Shoving around the dancefloor looking for chicks. Reality check, you are going to die alone, you piece of asswipe.

Sorrow

2012-04-01T15:06:00.001+08:00

Today, is my aunt's birthday.

Today, i also lost a cousin.

He has changed into someone... something that i cannot recognise.

Disappointed in me? Wanted to vent your anger?

COME AT ME THEN! Dont take it out on your own mother. She's the one that raised you up, that led you to where you are now!

So what if you got education, good career and shit? You have a scumbag personality that i doubt can be changed.

The only reason i didnt talk back is be cause i still respect you.. the old you.

But for now, fuck off from my life, you worthless piece of asswipe.

I wont deny/hide the fact that i teared because of his words.
I will grow stronger.
Watch me.

Fuck.

2012-03-11T04:41:00.001+08:00

You know what?

Forgive and forget, i'll do neither.
Even if it's not your fault,
It doesn't really matter.
Fuck this shit and all you've done.
I'm a fool,
that can't be undone.
Four years of my time i've wasted,
at least i know now,
love never existed.
I thought time could be the healing factor,
But as of now, not friends? It doesn't really matter.
I wrote all this,
when i ain't exactly sober.
The sight of you,
all i did was suffer.
I hope someday you'll get to see this,
so when u die,
you'll rot in hell and i'll be less pissed.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

it's not good

2012-03-05T07:08:00.002+08:00

when you are still in my dream, and i could actually REMEMBER it.

how deep have i sunk?

f*ck. this. shit.

you don't say

2012-02-22T23:21:00.000+08:00

我爱在你,你爱在自己.

wah, teh lyrics. EMO MAX.

and here i am

2012-02-20T01:14:00.002+08:00

trying very hard to swallow in this motherhood statement,

"you can't force feelings."

i also cannot help but wonder if there's any bypass or solution to this.

pfft.

unspoken thoughts.

2012-02-16T22:22:00.003+08:00

one important lesson in life is to learn - to let go.

天天难过，天天过。

that tuesday was... just a tuesday.

i can't help it when my brain syncs with my heart and feels its sorrow. and these unspoken thoughts surfaces. pfft, i thought the brain and the heart were never meant to be on the same side.

and then it happened...

2012-02-14T06:09:00.002+08:00

我。。。我。。。我。。。我失恋了！

i'm still at a loss for words. but one thing that really amazed me was that SOME SMALL MICRO portion of me still thought of my options left. REALLY?!

to self: ARE YOU FOR REAL?!

but seriously, i need to start thinking about my next course of actions. the more "sound" one at that, because currently, i got to admit i am letting my emotions and feelings affect me.

be strong. it's not like it's the end of the world eh?

And so it ended

2012-02-14T02:56:00.001+08:00

Close to 5 years.

I never swayed.

I stayed true all the way.

I always put in my all.

I would put you above everything else.

I did all that l could.

It didn't matter.

Diminishing faith for love.

A huge letdown.

Goodbye.