Une meilleure vie ... Better life...

20 Simple Ways to Get Happy

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Fri, 8 Apr 2011 00:15:00 +0100

Happiness is ephemeral, subject to the vagaries of everything from the weather to the size of your bank account.

be happy

We’re not suggesting that you can reach a permanent state called “happiness” and remain there. But there are many ways to swerve off the path of anxiety, anger, frustration, and sadness into a state of happiness once or even several times throughout the day. Here are 20 ideas to get you started. Choose the ones that work for you. If tuning out the news or making lists will serve only to stress you further, try another approach.

1. Practice mindfulness. Be in the moment. Instead of worrying about your checkup tomorrow while you have dinner with your family, focus on the here and now — the food, the company, the conversation.

2. Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones. Researchers at the University of California, Irvine, tested 16 men who all agreed they thought a certain videotape was funny. Half were told three days in advance they would watch it. They started experiencing biological changes right away. When they actually watched the video, their levels of stress hormones dropped significantly, while their endorphin levels rose 27 percent and their growth hormone levels (indicating benefit to the immune system) rose 87 percent.

3. Go to sleep. We have become a nation of sleep-deprived citizens. Taking a daily nap or getting into bed at 8 p.m. one night with a good book — and turning the light out an hour later — can do more for your mood and outlook on life than any number of bubble baths or massages.

4. Hum along. Music soothes more than the savage beast. Studies find music activates parts of the brain that produce happiness — the same parts activated by food or sex. It’s also relaxing. In one study older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery had significantly lower heart rates, blood pressure, and cardiac workload (that is, their heart didn’t have to work as hard) as those who had silent surgery.

5. Declutter. It’s nearly impossible to meditate, breathe deeply, or simply relax when every surface is covered with papers and bills and magazines, your cabinets bulge, and you haven’t balanced your checkbook in six months. Plus, the repetitive nature of certain cleaning tasks — such as sweeping, wiping, and scrubbing — can be meditative in and of itself if you focus on what you’re doing.

6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren’t necessary and that you don’t enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you’re feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things.

7. Make a list. There’s nothing like writing down your tasks to help you organize your thoughts and calm your anxiety. Checking off each item provides a great sense of fulfillment.

8. Do one thing at a time. Edward Suarez, Ph.D., associate professor of medical psychology at Duke, found that people who multitask are more likely to have high blood pressure. Take that finding to heart. Instead of talking on the phone while you fold laundry or clean the kitchen, sit down in a comfortable chair and turn your entire attention over to the conversation. Instead of checking e-mail as you work on other projects, turn off your e-mail function until you finish the report you’re writing. This is similar to the concept of mindfulness.

9. Garden. Not only will the fresh air and exercise provide their own stress reduction and feeling of well-being, but the sense of accomplishment that comes from clearing a weedy patch, watching seeds turn into flowers, or pruning out dead wood will last for hours, if not days.

10. Tune out the news. For one week go without reading the newspaper, watching the news, or scanning the headlines online. Instead, take a vacation from the misery we’re exposed to every day via the media and use that time for a walk, a meditation session, or to write in your journal.

be happy

11. Take a dog for a walk. There are numerous studies that attest to the stress-relieving benefits of pets. In one analysis researchers evaluated the heart health of 240 couples, half of whom owned a pet. Those couples with pets had significantly lower heart rates and blood pressure levels when exposed to stressors than the couples who did not have pets. In fact, the pets worked even better at buffering stress than the spouses did.

12. Scent the air. Research finds that the benefits of aromatherapy in relieving stress are real. In one study people exposed to rosemary had lower anxiety levels, increased alertness, and performed math computations faster. Adults exposed to lavender showed an increase in the type of brain waves that suggest increased relaxation. Today you have a variety of room-scenting methods, from plug-in air fresheners to essential oil diffusers, potpourri, and scented candles.

13. Ignore the stock market. Simply getting your quarterly 401(k) statement can be enough to send your blood pressure skyrocketing. In fact, Chinese researchers found a direct link between the daily performance of the stock market and the mental health of those who closely followed it. Astute investors know that time heals most financial wounds, so give your investments time — and give yourself a break.

14. Visit a quiet place. Libraries, museums, gardens, and places of worship provide islands of peace and calm in today’s frantic world. Find a quiet place near your house and make it your secret getaway.

15. Volunteer. Helping others enables you to put your own problems into perspective and also provides social interaction. While happy people are more likely to help others, helping others increases your happiness. One study found that volunteer work enhanced all six aspects of well-being: happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, physical health, and depression.

16. Spend time alone. Although relationships are one of the best antidotes to stress, sometimes you need time alone to recharge and reflect. Take yourself out to lunch or to a movie, or simply spend an afternoon reading, browsing in a bookstore, or antiquing.

17. Walk mindfully. You probably already know that exercise is better than tranquilizers for relieving anxiety and stress. But what you do with your mind while you’re walking can make your walk even more beneficial. In a study called the Ruth Stricker Mind/Body Study, researchers divided 135 people into five groups of walkers for 16 weeks. Group one walked briskly, group two at a slow pace, and group three at a slow pace while practicing “mindfulness,” a mental technique to bring about the relaxation response, a physiological response in which the heart rate slows and blood pressure drops. This group was asked to pay attention to their footsteps, counting one, two, one, two, and to visualize the numbers in their mind. Group four practiced a form of tai chi, and group five served as the control, changing nothing about their lives. The group practicing mindfulness showed significant declines in anxiety and had fewer negative and more positive feelings about themselves. Overall they experienced the same stress-reducing effects of the brisk walkers. Better yet, the effects were evident immediately.

18. Give priority to close relationships. One study of more than 1,300 men and women of various ages found that those who had a lot of supportive friends were much more likely to have healthier blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood sugar metabolism, and stress hormone levels than those with two or fewer close friends. Women, and to a lesser extent men, also seemed to benefit from good relationships with their parents and spouses. Studies also find that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to get sick and die prematurely than those who have feelings of love, connection, and community.

19. Take care of the soul. In study after study, actively religious people are happier and cope better with crises, according to David Myers, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. For many people faith provides a support community, a sense of life’s meaning, feelings of ultimate acceptance, a reason to focus beyond yourself, and a timeless perspective on life’s woes. Even if you’re not religious, a strong spirituality may offer similar benefits.

20. Count your blessings. People who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, etc.) experience a heightened sense of well-being.

Marriage Advice

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Wed, 6 Apr 2011 18:06:00 +0100

Have you ever wondered "what is the secret to a long and happy marriage?" Our collection of tried and true marriage advice tips will help you answer that very question! These secrets to a happy marriage come straight from the horse's mouth -- those who are happily married!

long marriage

1. Never assume.

2. Compliment more than you criticize.

3. For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.

4. Remember that it is ok to do things differently (e.g. there is more than one way to peel a potato or fold the laundry).

5. Always make time for the two of you.

6. Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.

7. Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.

8. Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.

9. Be fair! Split the housework, spending money, etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.

10. Never go to bed angry. (Unless it's 3a.m. and you're exhausted, angry, and not thinking straight.)

11. Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.

12. Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it.

13. Fight naked. ;)

14. Agree to disagree.

15. Never, ever mention the "D" word (divorce).

16. Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?

17. Respect each other's privacy.

18. Remember that "love is like childhood. You need to learn to share."

19. Marriage is not 50/50, it's two people giving 100/100 all of the time.

20. Surprise each other now and then.

21. The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!

22. Have date night!

23. Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".

24. Hold hands.

25. Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).

26. Always believe that you got better than you deserved.

27. Be quick to say "I'm sorry".

28. Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose.

29. Keep the in-laws out of your marriage!

30. Love isn't always a feeling, it's a decision.

31. Hang in there. It's worth it.

32. Play nice, play often, love much.

33. Never air your dirty laundry as a couple in public.

34. Never keep secrets from each other.

35. Be each other's champion. No matter what, take your husband or wife's side first!

36. Communication is the key!

37. Always respect each other.

38. Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.

39. It's the little things that matter most.

40. Never use the words 'Always' and 'Never' in a fight.

41. It's ok to argue, but never use curse words to express your anger.

42. Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.

43. Don't make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of life!

Advice for a Good Marriage

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Wed, 6 Apr 2011 17:36:00 +0100

5 Secrets to Living Happily Ever After
By Susan Seliger
WebMD Feature

We've all read the statistics: Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Are the lucky couples who continue to love and lust and live in relative harmony just that -- people whom the fates have blessed? Over Cupid's dead body! Love isn't a present that gets handed to you; it's a special kind of learned behavior. WebMD consulted the marriage and relationship experts to learn the best advice for a good marriage - five secrets to long-lasting love.

"We're born with the capacity to have a happy marriage, but we still have to work to develop it," says Howard Markham, PhD, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver and co-author of Fighting for Your Marriage. "Having a good marriage takes education," Markham says. "We have to unlearn some bad habits and acquire other good ones."

Other experts WebMD consulted agree. The couples who remain close and content are the pioneer-spirited among us who share the same secret formula: When problems crop up, they don't give up. They use the following five basic pieces of advice for a good marriage that can help every couple live (more) happily ever after.

1. Listen Up! "Everybody has the need to be listened to and fully understood," says Jack Rosenblum, PhD, co-founder (with his wife of 29 years) of "Loveworks" couples' workshops and co-author of Five Secrets of Marriage from the Heart. You need to make your partner feel heard, even if that means pushing aside some anxiety or sitting on your hands rather than offering advice when your partner needs to talk. Sometimes "mirroring," or simply repeating what your spouse has said, is enough to let him or her know that you've been listening. For example, say something like, "I understand you're upset because I didn't take out the trash." Or "I hear that you want to talk about what happened at the office today." Provide evidence that you're paying attention to your partner's concerns.

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2. Set aside regular couple time. "Early on in a relationship couples talk as friends, they do fun things," says Markham. "But over time, those ways of connecting change." Work, family, financial woes, all have a way of overtaking daily life and eroding the sense of fun that brought you two together in the first place. Bring the fun back - even if you have to schedule it in the calendar once every week. Sharing a physical activity, like a bike ride or a walk around the block, is especially good for lifting your spirits along with your heart rate. Activities like going out for an intimate dinner, staying at home and playing music from your college days, or watching a favorite movie (will help you both remember why you chose each other. If cash is in short supply, trade off babysitting with a friend and plan a picnic in the park. There are 168 hours in a week: make a commitment to devote at least two of those hours to your marriage every week.

3. Don't throw things. Of course, you and your partner are not going to agree about everything. But in expressing disagreement to your partner, playground rules apply -- no insults, name calling, or throwing things. "If you disagree, do it in a civil way," says Jack Rosenblum. "Don't make the other person wrong, don't say he's stupid. Instead, say, 'You think we ought to do this. I have another thought about it.'" If your disagreement seems to be escalating, call a mutually agreed upon time-out, and make a plan to continue the discussion after a cooling-off period. Keeping things on a calm, even keel is better for your blood pressure and your marriage. When in doubt, follow Ogden Nash's sage advice for resolving conflicts:

To keep your marriage brimming

With love in the marriage cup,

Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

Whenever you're right, shut up.

4. Turn up the heat. "If your sex life is diminishing or you're not having sex as often as one partner in the relationship would like, then you have to make getting your intimate life back on track a priority," says Markham. "It's ironic that when we're wooing our partners, we make this tremendous effort, and after we get into a relationship, we put that on the back burner." Think about your partner as someone you want - and someone you want to entice to fall in love with you over and over again. "Pay attention to your grooming, be romantic, don't take your partner for granted," advises Markham. "Think about your mate as someone you want to end up in bed with at the end of the evening.

marriage

5. Ask for what you want - nicely. "If there's something you'd like your spouse to do, you have three choices," says Rosenblum. "Keep it to yourself and let it fester; bad rap them to your friends; or talk about it. The best choice is to talk about it." How's he supposed to know that you wish he'd bring home flowers or that a back rub would be a dream come true? Tell him - simply, sweetly, and directly. Don't drop obscure hints - this is not a test to see if he or she loves you. It's about giving yourself permission to ask for what you want and requesting it lovingly - without accusations or guilt-tripping. If a few weeks go by and you still don't get those roses, have a second conversation. "Gee, I don't know what to make of the fact that I told you I'd love to get flowers once in a while and you haven't bought any." If he gets defensive and discussion becomes impossible, you might consider seeing a marriage counselor who can offer advice for a good marriage. But more than likely he'll explain he's not good at buying flowers, he passed a shop and thought about it but didn't know which flowers to buy. Tell him roses or daises will do just fine. Most of us -- men and women alike -- don't realize that even small gestures go a long way to making our mates, and our marriages, happy.

10 Ways to Feel Better About Yourself

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Sun, 3 Apr 2011 18:50:00 +0100

Everyday, you have another chance to make things better.

Some days are better than others. On those days that go less well, we usually end up being hard on ourselves. Here are some tools to avoid doing so.

1. Keep going. Don't let life's changes throw you off track, but remember that most extenuating circumstances are temporary. Gain more clarity by staying the course and channeling your energy in a positive direction.

2. Trust yourself. Believe in your inner resources, no matter what, and you'll grow from the experience. I believe that the answers usually lie within and you are probably smart enough to figure out what you need to do. Give yourself a little time and have patience.

3. Be friends with life. Remember that the world is not out to get you and it does not punish you. You do that to yourself. Learning to focus on other opportunities or in another direction can give you some perspective.


thinking about have a feel better

4. Watch your thoughts. Your thinking will never be 100 percent positive. You must learn to dismiss the negative thoughts and stay open to other ideas that will help you move in a positive direction. Start recognizing negative thoughts and use your mind to quell them.

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5. Summon the strength you have inside. Learn to access and direct your strengths to the highest good for all concerned. Believe that your strength and intelligence can help you deal with anything. Remember that you have survived worse.

6. Learn to love yourself. You do not have to be who you are today, and your life is not scripted. Changing how you feel about yourself means creating a strategy, gathering some new tools, and making yourself into the person you want to be. A good way to start is to stop doing things that hurt.

7. Don't want too much. Desire can be a powerful motivating tool, but wanting something too much can be very painful and very expensive, so don't live beyond your means or covet the unattainable. Seek your desire, but keep your integrity.

8. Don't get insulted. It is wise to be dispassionate about critical comments. Human's will always bump heads, but consider the source, and if it's the other person's issue, ignore it. Learn to respond instead of react, and don't show your ire.

9. Recognize that disappointment is part of life. Even the most successful people have to deal with disappointment, but they've learned how to use it to get to the next level of life. The trick is to process your feelings, then take some kind of action.

10. Deal with your fears. Overcoming fear makes you stronger, and being a little scared can make you better. You want to have butterflies; you just want them flying in formation. It helps to understand and admit your fears. Then you can kick them to the curb.

Feel good about yourself, no matter what life brings. Know that each time you wake up, you have another chance to make things better. Don't waste it.

21 Ways to Have Fun …

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Sat, 2 Apr 2011 01:09:00 GMT

1.
Always wanted to visit Japan? Have a passion for Paris? Go to the local library and plan a dream vacation using the maps, cultural books, and travel planners to investigate your destination.

2.
Write notecards thanking your neighbors for being "neighborly." Stick them in their doors, ring the doorbells, and watch their responses of surprise from behind a bush.

3.
If you have snow in your part of the country, make sure you take advantage of the mud it makes when it melts. If you don't have snow, make some mud. In either case, get on some grubby clothes, grab some buds, and have a messy game of full-contact Ultimate Frisbee!

4.
Take your family to watch Little League baseball at the park. Ask your parents if they have sports stories from when they were kids. You may be surprised!

5.
Most libraries have movies you can check out for free. Try some of the old black-and-white ones with Jimmy Stewart, Humphrey Bogart or Ingrid Bergman.

fun,good time

6.
Explore the outdoors at a different time than you normally would. Take a walk through downtown when all the shops are just opening. Check into a professionally-led night hike, the kind where you use flashlights. It's amazing how different your perspective can be!

7.
Browse a used bookstore and reminisce about your favorite children's books. Maybe the store even has a read-aloud-to-kids time you could attend!

8.
Organize an all-day (or night!) tournament of board games at your church. Invite people of all ages to join in on Scrabble, Sequence, Monopoly, Clue!, Risk, Chess, Checkers, Backgammon, or other favorites. You'll be amazed at how games can start conversations between different age groups!

9.
Gather all the unmatched socks in your house and make puppets! See how many of your friends you can turn into a sock character.

10.
Ask your parents if you and a few friends can have free reign in the kitchen for an evening. Create your own gourmet coffee/tea/hot chocolate drinks by experimenting with various spices, syrups, juices, powders, etc. Make a menu of the best concoctions (and a fun list of your worst!) and treat your parents (by cleaning up the kitchen, too).

11.
Throw together some creative costumes on a holiday off of school (like President's Day) and go "canning." Go door-to-door in your neighborhood, just like at Halloween, but instead of asking for candy, ask for canned goods to be donated to a local food bank. No one will expect it, but everyone will love it.

12.
Have a group of friends write "What If?" or "Would You Rather?" questions on slips of paper and put them in a bowl (for example, "What if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life?" "Would you rather not use soap or not use a hairbrush for the next 10 years?") Take turns pulling them out and answering them. You'll find out more about each other, and it's guaranteed to make you laugh.

13.
Try to make a house of cards.

14.
Check out a book on paper airplanes, grab some paper, and challenge your friends to some contests: coolest plane, longest-flying, even biggest dud!

15.
Gather the family for an evening of reminiscing. Pop some popcorn, pull out the old photo albums, and laugh at pictures from your younger years.

16. How well do you know your hometown? Divide your friends into two groups, each group making a list of little-known sites to capture on video (the view from the tallest building) or items to bring back in person (a napkin from a local diner). Exchange lists, borrow a video camera for each group (make sure to ask parents!), and have a fun night rediscovering your town.

17. Learn more about your parents' hobbies. Does your mom sew? Ask her to help you make a pillowcase. Does your dad garden? Help him plant the spring seeds and chat about what it takes for them to grow well.

18. Attend a speech or independent movie showing at a local community college or university on a topic you're interested in. Yes, learning can be fun!

19. Make a mural for your wall/door/notebook/locker out of empty cereal boxes, magazine clippings, favorite quotes and Bible verses.

20. Try reading the Sunday comics backward—starting from the last frame and working to the first—to your family and see if they can guess the characters speaking.

21. Make up a list of creative things you can do for absolutely free!

Bigger Thinking Leads To A Bigger Life

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Fri, 1 Apr 2011 17:54:00 GMT

think big

Small thinking creates more dissatisfaction in life than any other single factor. People, by the nature, want to be successful. The human spirit yearns to attain great things. Unfortunately, the general population settles for less than they are capable of. Thoreau summed it up when he said that most people live a life of quiet desperation. The inner desire for all that life offers is typically in conflict with the outer results being achieved.

What is your true greatness Determining this begins with thinking much bigger than you are presently conditioned. In spite of what society teaches, you can have it all. People tend to think in terms of surviving rather than thriving. Focus on your survival and that is what you get. Shift your thinking to thriving in each area of your life and it will be instantly take on new meaning.

Are you trying to leap over the Grand Canyon or a small ravine Both are wrought with challenges that could lead to failure. So why not go for the gusto If you do not succeed at a particular action, you received a valuable lesson. The bigger the undertaking, the more valuable the lesson.

Small thinking leads to small results. Choose any area of life and begin to think of bigger results. Immediately things change in a way previously unimagined. Instead of trying to figure ways to earn some extra money, concentrate doubling or tripling your income. Go after that goal with all the vigor you can muster. Also, have terms such as best, highest, and greatest in your regular thought process.

All great achievement is preceded by big thinking. It begins with the thought, followed by the action, and then the result. However, most people cannot begin to implement this mindset because of selfworth issues. Poor self esteem tells us that we are crazy to think about these things. It questions our intelligence, work ethic, and abilities. The conclusion is that we cannot do it so we need to settle for what we can get. Of course, the spirit within us cries out against this but fear wins out in the end.

The conditioning of our mind was influenced by the people around us growing up. Although they loved us dearly, their insecurities and feelings of inferiority were transferred over to us. Undo this be realizing that you are worthy of all the greatness that life has to offer. Think on the grandest scale to create a grand life.

Many have tried to change their lives by changing their actions. While actions are important for success, they will not induce meaningful change. If the mind limits the ability to create a fantastic life, all the action in the world will go to waste. All of our success is first determined by our thinking. The more room that we allow for our imagination to explore, the greater the potential.

Your life will begin to take on new meaning as your thinking expands. Seek out the different areas where you can begin this process today. Believe that you are capable of creating the magical life that so many crave. Remove the self imposed limits to accelerate your growth

The Secret To Success Through Positive Thinking And The Law Of Attraction

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Fri, 1 Apr 2011 17:46:00 GMT

by Spencer Michaels

positive thinking

Ralph Waldo Emerson said - We become what we think about all day long. This couldn't be any truer. What do you think about all day long? Who's going to win on football on Sunday? Do you think about what you're going wear to Sally's party or who Nicole Richie is dating? If you think about trivial things all day long - Don't be surprised if your life turns out trivial.

You can't think about ridiculous, trivial things all day and then once in a while when you're in the mood say, "Oh yeah... and I really want to be successful." According to Emerson - just start thinking about success all the time and it will soon come. Emerson fully understood the law of attraction. The law of attraction is the secret to all great successes. It says that you attract what you think about and focus on.

You can start harnessing the power of the law of attraction today. I don't care if you have the flu, you have two broken arms and 2 broken legs - there's something you can do today that will make you successful before you know it. Start spending a lot of your day just thinking about success. Read and listen to every motivational program you can find. Start using visualization and filling your mind up with thoughts of success instead of worrying about what Jay-Lo and Britney are wearing. C'mon - if your mind is filled up with garbage most of the time, you're going to become garbage! It's as simple as that. Think about what you want long and hard enough and it will come - Action will follow. In the same way though - think about what you don't want and it will come. If you sit around all day and think --- I don't want to end up poor, fat and sick, inevitably you'll end up poor, fat and sick. The mind knows what you fill it up with. Even if your intention is to avoid something - if you think about it enough - it's likely to end up in your life. So don't think about negative things. Don't think about what you don't want or what you want to avoid.

Think positively and only about what you want. Your thoughts become your reality. If you want an amzing life, you must think amazing thoughts. This is not some mystical nonsense. Quanum Physics has proven this to be an absolute fact. Our thoughts radically effect our reality. Try it out for a week. Can you do it for that long? For one week, I want you to be very careful about what you think about. Think big, think positive and know that you will get what you think about. Don't let anyone distract you from this for this one week. Avoid negative people for this one week. Only think positive thoughts and dwell on what you want in your life and watch your life start to transform before your eyes.

Use The Science of Getting Rich To Learn The Law of Attraction

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Fri, 1 Apr 2011 17:37:00 GMT

by Matt Jurs
What if as you go through your day it was pure so that you can see things that you want, that you simply need to change in your minds eye. Throughout the day you'll muse over these items, then at evening they type into a full vision. Earlier than you recognize it the vision becomes reality.

This can be a situation from The Science of Getting Rich. Story after story of things taking place in just this way. As you continue the observe, in full belief, coming as a baby as Jesus put it, it gets quicker and extra certain.

It takes an entire e-book to lay out the subtleties of it and by having the e book in audio kind you may take heed to it time and again and embed the concepts in your consciousness. Repetition is easy with audio, so many occasions you learn an excellent e-book that pulls you through it like The Science of Getting Rich does, and also you benefit from the guide a lot that you just just want to get to the subsequent page. You promise your self you'll learn it again. How typically does that happen.

With audio the price of revisiting the story is much lower, you simply hit play once more, and you will. On the primary listening you get the primary ideas. Repeated listening will cement the concepts and convey out nuance. With repeated listening it turns into part of you and one can find increasingly more phrases that you just bear in mind and maintain dear. Do this one: "By thought, the factor you want is brought to you; by action you receive it."

By action you receive it, an amazing jewel. You deliver all of this about by your psychological work, then by action you obtain it. This doesn't suggest that you need to figure it all out. It means as you begin musing on these things your mind begins to work subconsciously, creating the circumstances and the circumstances, and then you definately reach out and take it.

That is the whole and unabridged model of the Science of Getting Rich.

rich,money

Spring into Happily Ever After: Debunking Olds Myths About Love and Marriage

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Fri, 1 Apr 2011 17:29:00 GMT

by Dr. Patty Ann Tublin
There are few things as wonderful as young love, especially when it happens in Spring! Remember when you first met the partner of your dreams? Everything felt so alive, right? You probably felt a general blissful wonder while your endorphins ran on high. Every time you saw or thought of your sweetie, the butterflies churned, and your heart thump, thump, thumped at the mere thought of your new love! Then as time went on, those butterflies took flight and found other couples ready to relish in young love, while you and your partner resigned to be grouchy and cranky in "old" love.
But it doesn't have to be that way. If you grew up with old fashioned stories about relationships based on minimum effort, on necessity or convenience, these three truths will help you understand that there are some key things you have to do to truly live happily ever after.

1. When you marry your mate, you marry their family! When two people come together, how can they not be impacted by each other's families unless they run as far as they can in the opposite direction and have no contact with them at all?! Remember the character Michael in the movie "The Godfather"? He mentions to his girlfriend Kate that he is not his Mafia family, but he ends up being exactly like his father anyway. Families come along with the person you marry. There is no way around this, even if you try to extricate yourself.

2. Love isn't enough. If that were the case, the divorce rate wouldn't be as high as it is. Instead, practically every relationship would be destined for sublime happiness! Realty check: You have to work at relationships in order for them to work. Firstly, communication is by far the most important foundation you need. If you don't talk and listen effectively, you won't get far. Sweeping unspoken expectations and various other issues under the rug will only serve to fester until the straw breaks the camel's back. Don't skimp on this vital key to a healthy relationship!

There is also no way around the crises that will happen in life, so if you aren't communicating in the first place as these occurrences come your way, it will be harder to weather them. You have to be consciously aware of how you express yourself: say what you need to say while being sensitive to your partner. And listen, listen, listen! Active listening with an open mind and heart shows a level of respect and caring that is necessary to making your partner feel safe and supported, e.g. no hidden agenda allowed!

3. Money does NOT solve problems. In fact, it can actually add to them. Research shows that couples whose income increases to a higher level than what they had in the beginning have more money problems. Certainly money can help with some things we all need in life, and having a little extra is great. But money can't buy good health, personal happiness or a great marriage! If you believe that if you had more money, things would be better, what you're really wanting is something other than money to change or be resolved. Yep, money can be a mask for underlying issues!

As our world changes and progresses, our expectations also change; this includes the expectations we have of our relationships. In today's modern relationships, we really need to be as conscious about what we're doing as we can. Then we'll have the very best chance of our relationship having a fairy tale ending. So Spring into YOUR happily ever after. You deserve it!

60 Tips for a Happy Marriage

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 21:11:00 GMT

A happy marriage is just like a healthy plant. If you give the plant water, sun and air, it blossoms. A marriage requires an equal amount of nurturing if it is to blossom. As much as it is hard to accept, a nice wedding and the good intentions you have to stay together forever are not enough to produce a successful, happy marriage. The excitement and joy that newly-wed couples often experience tend to wear off within the first year of marriage and so, if you want to celebrate your 50th anniversary with your partner one day, you both need to make a conscious decision to "water" your relationship. To reach such as stage is a wonderful thing. The thought of reaching our 50th anniversary means more to me now than ever before, because my mom and dad just recently celebrated their 50th anniversary. I am so happy for them, and even more determined now to do the same.

When I coach couples on the verge of divorce, I find that generally, each individual is not happy within himself or herself and so their attempts to make each other happy are futile, because being happy as an individual is the first step.

As I have written many times on this blog, in newsletters and said in workshops, for any relationship to be happy, first each party must learn how to be happy individually.

flower

I recommend to all couples that come to me for coaching that they create and then share a list of 50 things that make each one of them happy. It is quite incredible to see just how surprised most of them are when they read their partner's list. Most times, many of the items on the list are simple, cheap and even free. Without fail, the reaction I always get is, "It is so easy to make my partner happy, if only I had known earlier…"

Life is much easier when you know the things that make you and your partner happy. Here is a list of 30 things husbands can do to make their wives happy and 30 things wives can do to make their husbands happy. Please remember, the list here is just a start. It is also a bit stereotypical, so feel free to swap items with your partner and do what works for you.

30 ways to keep her happy

woman smiling

1. SMS her some love during the day.

2. Help her fill in her 12-hugs-a-day tank with lots of hugs (and kisses).

3. Cook dinner from time to time. Husbands who cook have happier marriages.

4. Stay and help while cleaning up after meals. Many couples fight over cleaning up. If you do it together, it will take half the time, become part of your quality time and then leave more time for romance.

5. Find a loving nickname for her.

6. Say "I love you" when you meet and when you say good-bye.

7. Mark special dates on your calendar. There are not that many dates to remember: mainly her birthday and your wedding anniversary. But if you really want to be a super husband, remember the date that you first became a couple.

8. Take the kids out on your own from time to time to give her some space. It can be as simple as offering some time off on the weekend to allow her to sleep in a little bit longer, or as easy as organizing an evening out with the kids.

9. When she is upset, listen to her but do not try to give advice (unless she asks for it).

10. Tell her how much you love to touch and smell her.

11. Invite her to a movie or a restaurant like you would have if you were dating.

12. Write her love notes and put them in places where she would not expect to find them, like inside the laundry basket, on the mirror in the bathroom, inside her wallet or on the visor in her car.

13. Shower the kids or read them a story. I have to say that having watched my husband doing these things for many years with our children makes me love him more and more everyday. It is such a simple, beautiful thing to see father and kids reading a story together, that it makes the entire family happy.

14. Offer some technical help if she is struggling with remotes, computers or electrical wiring.

15. Say something nice about her choice in clothes.

16. Bring her flowers.

17. Give her a massage.

18. You are strong and manly. Take the garbage out.

19. Bring home dinner from time to time as a surprise. Try not to do this if she has already prepared a dinner. It is always better to check first and make sure the dinner is not all ready yet.

20. Tell her "I trust you to…" Any positive ending to this sentence works miracles in any relationship. Count how many times you say this phrase during your relationship and I am sure you will find it much easier to spend many happy years together.

21. Give her a kiss for no reason. Kiss for the love of kissing. Kiss in the morning and remember to always, always, always kiss at night before you fall asleep, even (especially) if you have just had a fight.

22. Stay cool when she is having a long phone conversation with her girlfriend, mom or sister. These phone calls are a way for her to work things out and get emotional support. They are good for you…

23. Bring home a sexy movie from the video shop to watch together.

24. Learn how to use the washing machine and use it without being asked.

25. Go shopping with her if she asks you to. Consider this quality time. You can do the grocery shopping while you talk together about your plans and dreams.

26. Clean the toilet from time to time.

27. Bring her small gifts.

28. Hold her hand even when there are people around. It is a public display of affection and this is important to her.

29. Initiate weekends away.

30. Keep a photo of her in your wallet.

30 ways to keep him happy

man smiling

1. Give him some time to watch his favorite TV show (OK, shows).

2. Invite his friends over for a BBQ.

3. Tell him how much you love the way he touches you.

4. Have dinner ready when he comes home from work. Add candles even if there are kids sitting at the table. It is good for them to watch mom and dad expressing their love.

5. Call him during the day and whisper loving things into the phone.

6. Offer him his favorite drink.

7. Tell him how much you love him. Say "I love you" when you meet and when you say good-bye, even on the phone.

8. Ask him about his day and listen.

9. When you go shopping, ask him if he wants you to get him something.

10. Do not tell him he is a baby when he is sick and has "man cold" (the kind of cold that, if you were to have, would make you feel a bit off, but could easily kill him…). Grown men need attention and being sick is their way of getting it when nothing else seems to work.

11. Tell him he is right sometimes.

12. Buy yourself a sexy outfit. It will make your husband very happy. You are actually buying it as a present for him, as he is the one who will ultimately take it off.

13. Give him a massage.

14. Tell him he smells good.

15. Make him his favorite dish and remember to tell him that you chose the dish especially for him.

16. Wash his car as a surprise (or get the kids to do it for a double bonus).

17. If he is busy and has to miss a TV show that he likes, record it for him.

18. Tell him how much you appreciate his efforts to come home early, to spend time with the kids, to help, etc.

19. Ask him, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

20. Go shopping with him if he wants you to.

21. Get him his favorite after-shave before his old bottle runs out.

22. Smile.

23. Suggest from time to time that he go out with his friends.

24. Keep his photo in your wallet.

25. Make a genuine effort to get along with his mom.

26. Put his trophies in a prominent place and proudly show them to visitors.

27. Send him loving, suggestive emails.

28. Tell him he is the best dad to your kids, more than you could ever ask for.

29. Touch him from time to time. When he is busy, just walk up to him and run your fingers through his hair.

30. Prepare his lunch box for the day.

As you can see, there are probably as many items that can be added to these lists as there are couples in the world. Each one of us has different desires and expectations of a relationship. It is easier to obtain your desired life if the other party also helps work to make the marriage a happy one. The longer the list of things you have that you can do to make your partner happy, the longer your marriage will be. These lists are just the beginning. Make your own lists and start making your marriage a happy and fulfilling one.

The Power of Prayer

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 23:43:00 GMT

Hiya! I ran across an interview conducted with me on the topic of prayer by journalist and writer Mandy de Waal in 2003. It's always fun re-reading a transcript of something like that a few years down the line. Thought you might find it to be of interest as well. Regards, Clive

Medical research is examining the power of prayer on healing with some astounding results that offer proof that prayer does help heal. But is there a place for prayer in business? Can spiritual appeals contribute to corporate growth? Journalist Mandy de Waal speaks to Clive Simpkins about the meeting of spirit and commerce. Simpkins is a marketing and communications strategist, and author of the "Concise Communicator" and "Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life", a book about personal, sustainable change and finding meaning and purpose in one's life. The work draws extensively on the author's twenty three year experience with his teacher, Swami Shivapadananda.

Mandy de Waal
(MdW) - What is prayer - what is your definition of prayer?
Clive Simpkins
(CS) - Prayer is a conversation with yourself or God - whatever your concept of Her, Him or It might be.

MdW - Why do people pray?
CS - Humans innately seek something beyond their mundane selves. So we pray to make 'contact' with whatever our concept of that is. We pray particularly when we're in trouble, want guidance, want to say 'thank you.'

MdW - Can one expect an outcome from prayer? Does prayer work - if so why?
CS - One can certainly expect an outcome from prayer. But it may not be the outcome you expect or want. Like a good parent, the universe or God (whatever your concept or Her or Him or It may be) will, I believe, give you what you need (which may be suffering for growth) and not what you want - which is usually the absence of suffering, hardship, trials and the like.

MdW - How does intent relate to prayer?
CS - Jesus said "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." So it's got to be a prayer that's very specific in its intention or desired outcome (effective). It needs to have intensity and yearning (fervent). Your motive needs to be pure, unselfish or 'good' (righteous). Then it has the concentration power to make it produce results. If it's unfocused, vague and not serious in intent, it won't generate the energy required for a result.

MdW - Is there a place for prayer in business?
CS - Emphatically! Business is part of our lives or a 'compartment' of our lives. What works after-hours works during working hours as well! Touching base with God or the Universe or the Higher Self a few times during the days makes us much nicer colleagues. It means we're not forgetting what's really important in life.

MdW - Do you say prayers for business reasons?
CS - Why ever not? If you pray for your child's exam success (provided the blighter has done the studying) there's no problem with an intention for a successful business.

MdW - What is the junction of spirit and business?
CS - There shouldn't be a junction! If they're seamless, they work best. There shouldn't be a separation between spirituality, prayer and any of the aspects of our lives. We should live in an integrated, congruent manner.

MdW - Are businesses becoming more spiritual or more conscious - if so why?
CS - Businesses are not 'things.' They're made up of people. People are without doubt becoming more conscious of the need for their spiritual component to permeate the workplace as well. This is not suppositional or anecdotal. I see it in the work I do all the time. People ask questions they would never have asked five years ago. And hey, a guy in a Sasolburg conference asked me to comment on reincarnation. You could have knocked me over with a feather!

prayer

MdW - Would you advise people to use prayer in business - if so why?
CS - Yes. When we're in a truly prayerful state, we're in an Alpha mind state. Generating hemispheric synchronization at between 8 and 12 cycles or Hertz per second. It's a state of optimal creativity and resourcefulness. It's also scientifically proven to be restful, healing and therapeutic. So when we learn to get into a prayer state at will, it can only benefit whatever we're doing in business.

MdW - Have you had any interesting experiences regarding the power of prayer?
CS - Numerous. Perhaps the most powerful was when my best friend, aged 31, was dying from lymphatic cancer. The night before her passing, she was in great physical pain. I was exhausted from all the emotional support I'd been giving her. I took her one hand in mine and with the other (in my mind) held my spiritual preceptor's hand, thinking, "Please do something to help her." At that exact instant, she said, "Hmm. It feels just like Swamiji's holding my hand."

MdW - Who (in your spiritual beliefs) hears our prayers?
CS - The universal consciousness - which is 'alive,' vibrant and never sleeps. At a higher level of understanding, it is we who pray and we who answer the prayer.

MdW - Why - traditionally - have corporations sought to exclude spirituality or prayer from business?
CS - Because they've had difficulty - as have many individuals and organizations - in separating 'religion' from the concept of spirituality. With religion, you can 'live' in a church, temple, mosque, shul or shrine - and still be a demon. With spirituality (respect for all levels of consciousness) you may never have been in any of them, and yet be a saint.

MdW - Why - traditionally - is business almost exclusively concerned with the business of making money?
CS - Because that's the role of business - to make money. Good and insightful businesses also invest in people and communities. But that's not their prime role.

MdW - What role does religious and spiritual diversity bring to bear regarding the above?
CS - Organizations that are respectful of diversity will be spiritual organizations. If they understand the healing role of spirituality in their people, they'll actively encourage it.

MdW - Is prayer connected to religion - if so how?
CS - Prayer is the universal language of spirituality. Whether spoken, as thought, as meditation, solo or in groups. It may be a communing with nature or animals. It may be a sense of connectedness. It doesn't have to be linguistic and it doesn't have to be religious.

MdW - What other things would you like to tell me about prayer in business?
CS - People who pray have a sense of higher purpose in their lives, lower stress levels, better immune system function, lower levels of anger, higher levels of self-esteem, heal quicker, suffer less depression and if they do, recover from it quicker than those who don't pray. All of this has been the subject of some well-validated medical and psychological research projects, and is well documented.

MdW - Any other thoughts?
CS - Yes. If we don't get out of bed in the morning with a sense of why we're on this planet and what we're going to be doing and how we're going to do it, we'll at some point - guaranteed - slide into a clinical depression. The single most important dimension of the human being has to be the spiritual component. If we resist the spiritual development process, nature and circumstances will force us, kicking and screaming, into the learning experience. If you want to know if you're living a spiritual life, two thoughts:
"If you can get to end of a day and say, 'Today I have grown a little more in love and compassion,' you are living a spiritual life. If you get to the end of a day and you can't say, 'Today I have grown a little more in love and compassion,' you are not living a spiritual life." - The Dalai Lama of Tibet.

"God will not forgive you if you are bluffing. He is the One who hears the heartbeat of the ant. Do you mean to say He does not know what you are saying and doing?" - My Spiritual Preceptor and best friend, Swami Shivapadananda.

How To Be Happy And Take Control Of Your Life

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 23:31:00 GMT

Many people seem to live like walking zombies ï¿½" breathing and moving but without energy and zest for life. If you think that you are in a perpetual state of fatigue, stress and bad mood, then you have to stop whatever it is you are doing and ponder for a few minutes what you have been doing all your life. Sometimes, little things, such as keeping a dull mood, can contribute to your lack of enthusiasm and love for life.

Here are some of the things you can do to put the zest back into your life:

1. Snooze Your Way To Happy Life

According to the National Sleep Foundation, over 75% of adults in the US experience insomnia or some type of sleep problems a few times a week. A lot of people sacrifice sleep in order to work more or have extended hours of fun; however, they are not aware that lack of sleep can cause many illnesses and conditions, including lethargy and listlessness.

If you want your life to be full and happy, you first need to give your body a chance to rest and re-energize. Some say that people need at least 8 hours of sleep in order to revitalize their mind and body.

2. Be Careful What You Feed Your Body

Most magazines and books on health that people have read tell about the importance of eating right. It seems, however, that in spite of this, many still do not pay attention to the food they eat nor to the right eating time.

The first thing you should remember is to eat a healthy breakfast that is composed of proteins like egg, some complex carbohydrates such as whole grain cereals or bread, and a small amount of fat. This type of breakfast will help keep your blood sugar levels stable for most of the day. It is important to note that very low or very high blood sugar levels could cause fatigue and mood swings. Furthermore, not being able to normalize the glucose level in your blood could result in serious diseases, including diabetes.
3. Just Carry What You Can Handle

Having overly busy schedules seem to be the norm these days. However, if you check most people's list of things to do, many will be most likely filled with unimportant and not-so important activities.

If you want to have energy, make sure that you balance your schedule and time well. It would also be wise to delegate some of the workload to other people. For example, if you are a working mom, you could ask some members of your family to help out with housework.
4. Bring In More Light

Believe it or not, more people feel depressed and down during autumn and winter. The reason behind this is that during these seasons, the daylight hours are greatly reduced in some parts of the world. This seasonal sadness is actually called SAD or seasonal affective disorder.

If you do not want to be affected by the SAD bug, make sure that your blood sugar is stable and you get exposed to sunlight regularly. Experts say that the body produces serotonin, a neurotransmitter responsible for happy mood and healthy energy, when exposed to natural light. However, if you cannot go outside and bask in the sunlight, you should expose yourself to a full-spectrum light at least two hours daily.
5. Eliminate Your Wastes

People who are constipated or have troubles eliminating their wastes usually are irritable and moody. If waste materials stay long inside the intestines, they are reabsorbed by the body. These toxins are responsible for allergies, and other conditions.

How To Succeed In Personal Development

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 12:22:00 GMT

Have you ever wished you were a better listener or had more patience? Personal development is a popular approach to self improvement. No matter what you choose to work on, personal development provides you with the right tools.

In this post you'll learn how to succeed in personal development so you can live your life to its fullest potential!

Changing Habits

It's helpful to remind oneself that habits take years and years to form, starting in early childhood and continuing throughout your life. When a habit has taken that long to root itself, it's only expected that it will take some time to undo it.

Therefore, patience is a vital tool to success in personal development. Don't let that discourage you though, since every step along the way is most rewarding.

Let's say someone close to you repeatedly brings up that you're not a good listener. It can be quite depressing or even painful to hear that about yourself since we want to be good and liked by others.

Or perhaps you've become aware of the shortcoming yourself, which is quite an insight. Self awareness is the most powerful personal development tools around.

Either way, you want to become a better listener...

In order to succeed, you need to give yourself a fair amount of time. I would say that a 1-3 month time frame is a good benchmark. Within which you should be able to observe some positive changes.

Daily Practice

Personal development provides the best results when you practice every day. Don't expect immediate perfection, rather value every little bit of progress.

As you work on yourself to improve your listening skills you will become aware of many new things about your thoughts, emotions and behavior. Which is what makes personal development so rewarding.

Daily practice leads to self awareness which is a precious gift and a key to lasting happiness. Cultivate awareness and use it wisely.

Finally, if you have friends that share your interest in personal development, share your experiences with each other. That's most empowering.

Good luck!

personal development

10 Ways To Achieve Your Goals

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 18:06:00 GMT

Goal setting is easy. Achieving your goals is the challenge. Below are 10
techniques you can use to help you achieve your goals. Practice these goal setting techniques everyday and you just might be surprised how easy it becomes to accomplish your goals.

1. Dream great dreams and make them come true.Studies show that people who visualize "aggressively" are more successful at
achieving their goals. Visualize the end-result of your dream. What does it look like?
How will you feel when you get what you want? What color, size, shape, etc., it is?
You must be able to mentally visualize your goal as clear and concise as possible
then it is possible to achieve it. Keep it on your mind every day. In time your sub-
conscious will take over.

2. Believe that you can do it.

You must believe in yourself. If you do not then read positive thinking books. Take a
class at your community college that will enhance your skills. Surround yourself with
people who are winners and will encourage you. Many successful people accomplish
their goals even though in the beginning they didn't know everything needed to
succeed. They believed that they could do it and they did. When you get stuck or
have doubts push yourself to do it anyway one step at a time. Get a support partner
who is willing to be there for you when you have doubts.

achieve your goal

3. Embrace change

Change is the Key to Success. Nothing happens until we make a change and do
something different. Good examples are working professionals who experience a
layoff. Once they get over the shock, hurt, anger, and frustration of being let go
they plan their strategy for their next job. Most of the time the new job is better,
more challenging, and more money than their previous job. Embrace change and
great things can happen.

4. Enthusiasm is contagious.

Surround yourself with enthusiastic people and let some of that energy rub off on
you. You can accomplish more when you have high energy. Pay attention to your
emotions the next time you are with an enthusiastic go-getter: You will get more
done and you can be more than you imagined.

5. Maintain a positive attitude.Have you ever wondered why there are "blue Mondays" and "happy Fridays" at work?
It is because we made it that way! If we were to change our attitude towards
Mondays, such as have a casual dress day on Monday or bring in snacks, wouldn't
that change our attitude? The choice is yours-be positive. Create things in your life
that will help you maintain a happy outlook in life. Everyday must be a TGIF (Thank
Goodness it's Friday) day.

6. Keep on going. Never give up.

Procrastination is the enemy. Break the habit of putting things off. Do things right
away. Always assume that you must do it now, as tomorrow will be too late. Do not
allow obstacles to stop you from accomplishing your next step. Get help. Talk to a
friend. Find someone who can help you reach your next step. Do it right away to
prevent you from getting discouraged.

7. Keep failure in perspective.There is no failure except in not trying. Do not allow anyone to discourage you from
achieving your goal if you believe in it, including yourself. Judge yourself by the
number of times you succeed, not by the number of times you fail.

8. Focus on winning.

Persistence and determination are the traits of winners. People who triumph in life
refuse to be defeated. When someone says you can't do it, what is your feeling? How
do you react? Let no one discourage you-especially you!

9. Work with winners.

Be loyal and stand with the people who believe in you. Ask for help and advice when
needed. Support others dreams and goals. Surround yourself with like-minded
people who want to see you win.

10. Just DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!

Take a risk and do it. Don't wait until it's perfect. Don't wait until you think you
know everything. Take a deep breath, jump in and do it!

Identify one of the above activities that is the most difficult for you to accomplish
and work on it for one month. It will be painful at first but you will be surprised
how easy it gets to be if you work on it everyday. Before you know it accomplishing
your goals will become easier and easier.

achieve your goal

4 Ways to Change Your Life and Your Business

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 17:49:00 GMT

change your life

You have heard the old saying, “The more you do of what you are doing, the more you will get of what you’ve got.”

Your goal should be to make the current year the most productive and highest paid year so far, until the next year comes along. To achieve this goal, you are going to have to do something different from what you are doing today.

There are only four ways that you can change your life and your business. Here they are:

1. You can do more of certain things. What are the things that you should do more of? Obviously you should do more of the things that are working the very best for you already.

You should use more of the marketing and sales methods that are getting you face to face with the best customers, the ones that buy the most readily and who most appreciate the special features and benefits of your products and services.

It is amazing how many sales people lose track of their most effective selling methods, including networking on a regular basis with other sales professionals in your area, and start off doing something new, different and unproven. Then they are surprised when their sales drop and their income declines. Sometimes, the very best thing you can do is to get back to doing what is already working the very best for you.

2. You can do less of other things. Many people fall into a comfort zone of doing things that are not working particularly well, but because they are comfortable doing them, they continue doing them nonetheless.

You only have so many minutes and hours each day. If you spend your time doing things of low value, that time is no longer available to you to do things of higher value. You must be continually thinking about the value of your time, every minute of every day. You should do less and less of those things that are giving you few results, so that you have more time to do more of those things that are giving you better results.

3. You can start something brand new. In a time of turbulence and rapid change, with customers, markets, prices, demand and competition changing every day, you must be continually open to the need to start doing something that you have never done before.

Jack Welch once said, “Our greatest competitive advantage is our ability to learn and apply new ideas before our competition.”

Perhaps the most important thing you can do is to commit yourself to being an aggressive, continuous, life-long student of the profession of selling. It is amazing how many people come up to me at my seminars and tell me that one method or technique that they learned at a previous seminar, or from a training program of mine, had changed their selling careers. They had doubled and tripled their incomes; they had gone from rags to riches. They had started their own businesses and become millionaires. And it was all because of a single, simple idea that was ideal for them that they had learned through continuous study. You should do the same.

4. You can stop certain things altogether. Use the zero based thinking question everyday and apply it to every sales and business activity. “Is there anything in my life that, knowing what I now know, I would not start up again today, if I had to do it over?”

Look over all of your business activities and be willing to discontinue or eliminate any activity that you would not start up again today if you had to do it over again with your current state of knowledge and experience.

Many people are lemmings. They will continue running in the same direction, doing the same things, getting fewer and fewer results, until they go over the financial cliff.

Top people are always open to the possibility and the need of doing something completely different. They are willing to stop doing anything that no longer works. They don’t get stuck into a “comfort zone” and stay there just because it feels good. They are willing to take the risks and the potential failure that goes with embarking on any new course of action.

This is going to be a wonderful year for people who make it a wonderful year. Throughout your day you should continually ask the questions, “Is there anything in my life that I should do more of, less of, start or stop?”

These questions will keep you on track and will help to guarantee that you become one of the highest paid people in your industry.

The Power of Positive Self-Talk

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 17:32:00 GMT

by Brian Tracy

Perhaps the most powerful influence on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself, and believe. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you, that determines your thoughts and felling and, ultimately, your actions. By controlling your inner dialogue, or “self-talk,” you can begin to assert control over every other dimension of your life.

Your self-talk, the words that you use to describe what is happening to you, and to discuss how you feel about external events, determines the quality and tone of your emotional life. When you see things positively and constructively and look for the good in each situation and each person, you have a tendency to remain naturally positive and optimistic. Since the quality of your life is determined by how you feel, moment to moment, one of your most important goals should be to use every psychological technique available to keep yourself thinking about what you want and to keep your mind off of what you don’t want, or what you fear.

Arnold Toynbee, the historian, developed what he called the “challenge-response theory” of history. In studying the rise and fall of 20 major world civilizations, Toynbee concluded that each civilization started out as a small group of people – as a village, as a tribe or in the case of the Mongol empire, as just three people who had survived the destruction of their small community. Toynbee concluded that each of these small groups faced external challenges, such as hostile tribes. In order to survive, much less thrive, these small groups had to reorganize themselves to deal positively and constructively with these challenges.

By meeting each of these challenges successfully, the village or tribe would grow. Even greater challenges would be triggered as a result. And if this group of people continued to meet each challenge by drawing upon its resources and winning out, it would continue to grow until ultimately it became a nation-state and then a civilization covering a large geographical area.

Toynbee looked at the 21 great civilizations of human history, ending with the American civilization, and concluded that these civilizations began to decline and fall apart when their citizens and leaders lost the will or ability to rise to the inevitable external challenges occasioned by their very size and power.

Toynbee’s theory of civilizations can be applicable to our life as well.

You are continually faced with challenges and difficulties, with problems and disappointments, with temporary setbacks and defeats. They are an unavoidable and inevitable part of being human. But, as you draw upon your resources to respond effectively to each challenge, you grow and become a stronger and better person. In fact, without those setbacks, you could not have learned what you needed to know and developed the qualities of your character to where they are today.

Much of your ability to succeed comes from the way you deal with life. One of the characteristics of superior men and women is that they recognize the inevitability of temporary disappointments and defeats, and they accept them as a normal and natural part of life. They do everything possible to avoid problems, but when problems come, superior people learn from them, rise above the, and continue onward in the direction of their dreams.

Dr. Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania has written a fascinating book based on his 25 years of research into this subject. It’s titled Learned Optimism. In this book, Dr. Seligman explains the basic response patterns of both positive and negative people. As a result of his many years of work in cognitive therapy, and the use of exhaustive testing, he finds, quite simply, that optimistic people tend to interpret events in such a way that they keep their minds positive and their emotions under control.

Optimists develop the habit of talking to themselves in constructive ways. Whenever they experience an adversity, they immediately describe it to themselves in such a way that it loses its ability to trigger negative emotions and feelings of helplessness.

Dr. Seligman says that are three basic differences in the reactions of optimists and pessimists. The first difference is that the optimist sees a setback as temporary, while the pessimist sees it as permanent. The optimist sees an unfortunate event, such as an order that falls through or a sales call that fails, as a temporary event, something that is limited in time and that has no real impact on the future. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees negative events as permanent, as part of life and destiny.

For example, let’s say that the optimistic salesperson makes 10 calls on likely prospects, and every one of those calls is unsuccessful. The optimist simply interprets this as a temporary event and a matter of averages or probabilities. The optimist concludes that, with every temporary failure, he is moving closer to the prospect who will turn into a sale. The optimist dismisses the event and goes on cheerfully to the 11th and 12th prospects.

The pessimist sees the same situation differently. The pessimist has a tendency to conclude that 10 unsuccessful sales calls is an indication that the economy is terrible and that there is no market for his product. The pessimist generalizes and begins to see the situation and his career as hopeless. While the optimist just shrugs it off and gets on with the next call, the pessimist becomes discouraged and loses heart and enthusiasm for the hard work of prospecting.

The second difference between the optimist and the pessimist is that the optimist sees difficulties as specific, while the pessimist sees them as pervasive. This means that when things go wrong for the optimist, he looks at the event as an isolated incident largely disconnected from other things that are going on in his life.


power of positive thinking

For example, if something you were counting on failed to materialize and you interpreted it to yourself as being an unfortunate event, but something that happens in the course of life and business, you would be reacting like an optimist. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees disappointments as being pervasive. That is, to him they are indications of a problem or shortcoming that pervades every area of life.

If a pessimist worked hard to put together a business deal and it collapsed, he would tend to assume that the deal did not work out was because the product or the company or the economy was in poor shape and the whole business was hopeless. The pessimist would tend to feel helpless, unable to make a difference and out of control of his destiny.

The third difference between optimists and pessimists is that optimists see events as external, while pessimists interpret events as personal. When things go wrong, the optimist will tend to see the setback as result from external factors over which one has little control.

If the optimist is cut off in traffic, for example, instead of getting angry or upset, he will simply downgrade the importance of the event by saying something like, “oh, well, I guess that person is just having a bad day.”

The pessimist has a tendency to take everything personally. If the pessimist is cut off in traffic, he will react as though the other driver has deliberately acted to upset and frustrate him. The pessimist will become angry and negative and want to strike out and get even. Often, he will honk his horn or yell at the other driver. There is a natural tendency in all of us to react emotionally when our expectations are frustrated in any way. When something we wanted and hoped for fails to materialize, we feel a temporary sense of disappointment and unhappiness. We feel disillusioned. We react as though we have been punched in the “emotional solar plexus”.

The optimistic person, however, soon moves beyond this disappointment. He responds quickly to the adverse event and interprets it as being temporary, specific and external to himself. The optimist takes full control of his inner dialogue and counters the negative feelings by immediately reframing the event so that it appear positive in some way.

Napoleon Hill, who, prior to writing his best-selling books on success, interviewed 500 of the most successful people in America, concluded that “Contained within a setback or disappointment is the seed of an equal or greater advantage or benefit.” And this is one of the great secrets of success.

Since your conscious mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or negative, if you deliberately choose a positive thought to dwell upon, you keep your mind optimistic and your emotions positive. Since your thoughts and feelings determine your actions, you will tend to be a more constructive person, and you will move much more rapidly toward the goals that you have chosen.

It all comes down to the way you talk to yourself on a regular basis. In our courses of problem solving and decisions making, we encourage people to respond to problems by changing their language from negative to positive. Instead of using the word problem, we encourage people to use the word situation. You see, a problem is something that you deal with. The event is the same. It’s the way you interpret the event to yourself that makes it sound and appear completely different.

Even better than situation is the word challenge. Whenever you have a difficulty, immediately reframe it and choose to view it as a challenge. Rather than saying, “I have a problem,” say, “I have an interesting challenge facing me.” The word challenge is inherently positive. It is something that you rise to that makes you stronger and better. It is the same situation, only the word that you are using to describe it is different.

The best of all possible words is the word opportunity. When you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem,” you can say, “I am faced with an unexpected opportunity.” And if you concentrate your powers on finding out what that opportunity is-even if it is only a valuable lesson-you will certainly find it. As the parable says, “Seek and ye shall find, for all who seek find it.”

One of my favorite affirmative statements, which I use to deal with any unexpected difficulty, is this: “Every situation is a positive situation if viewed as an opportunity for growth and self-mastery. Whenever something goes wrong, immediately neutralize its negative power by quickly reciting this statement.

If you are in sales, and your method of prospecting is not generating the results that you desire, you can view it as an opportunity for growth and self-mastery. The adversity you are facing may be meant to indicate to you that there is a better way to approach this task. Perhaps you should be prospecting in a different place, or with different people, or using a different script or a different method. Perhaps your difficulty is simply part of the process of developing the persistence and tenacity that you need to become successful in any kind of market. The difference between the winner and the loser is that the winner faces and deals with the adversity constructively, while the loser allows the adversity to overwhelm him.

The hallmark of the fully mature, fully functioning, self-actualizing personality is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of daily life. The superior person has the ability to continue talking to himself in a positive and optimistic way, keeping his mind calm, clear and completely under control. The mature personality is more relaxed and aware and capable of interpreting events more realistically and less emotionally than is the immature personality. As a result, the mature person exerts a far greater sense of control and influence over his environment, and is far less likely to be angry, upset, or distracted.

The starting point in the process of becoming a highly effective person is to monitor and control your self-talk every minute of the day. Keep your thoughts and your words positive and consistent with your goals, and keep your mind focused on what you want to do and the person you want to be.

Here are five ideas you can use to help you to be a more positive and optimistic person:

First, resolve in advance that no matter what happens, you will not allow it to get you down. You will respond in a constructive way. You will take a deep breath, relax and look for whatever good the situation my contain. When you make this decision in advance, you mentally prepare yourself so that you are not knocked off balance when things go wrong, as they inevitably will.

Second, neutralize any negative thoughts or emotions by speaking to yourself positively all the time. Say things like, “I feel healthy! I feel happy! I feel terrific!” As you go about your job, say to yourself, I like myself, and I love my work!” Say things like, “Today is a great day; it’s wonderful to be alive!” According to the law of expression, whatever is expressed is impressed. Whatever you say to yourself or others is impressed deeply into your subconscious mind and is likely to become a permanent part of your personality.

Third, look upon the inevitable setbacks that you face as being temporary, specific and external. View the negative situations as a single event that is not connected to other potential events and that is caused largely by external factors over which you can have little control. Simply refuse to see the event as being in any way permanent, pervasive or indicative of personal incompetence of inability.

Fourth, remember that it is impossible to learn and grow and become a successful person without adversity and difficulties. You must contend with and rise above them in order to become a better person. Welcome each difficulty by saying, “That’s good!” and then look into the situation to find the good in it.

Finally, keep your thoughts on your goals and dreams, on the person you are working toward becoming. When things go wrong temporarily, respond by saying to yourself, “I believe in the perfect outcome of every situation in my life.” Resolve to be cheerful and pleasant, and resist every temptation toward negativity and disappointment. View a disappointment as an opportunity to grow stronger, and about it to yourself and others in a positive and optimistic way.


the power of positive thinking

Transforming Bad Habits

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 17:23:00 GMT

brian tracy

by Brian Tracy
Your habits have been developed from early childhood as the result of things that you have chosen to do, or not to do. Your entire life is the result of your past choices and decisions. And like all of us, you probably have some bad habits that have held you back from your true potential. But here’s the good news: Since you are always free to choose, you can make new choices and decisions today that will determine what happens to you in the future.

One of your main objectives in life is to develop new habits and make them your masters, while at the same time overriding and setting aside old habits that may be interfering with your progress. You have two major types of habits. You have habits that revolve around your desires and you have habits that revolve around your fears. The habits that revolve around your desires for health, happiness, financial independence, and success are life-enhancing. They are the habits that have brought you the success you enjoy today. The habits that revolve around your fears, on the other hand, act as brakes on your potential. They hold you back. They interfere with your success. They trip you up on a regular basis. They cause you to sell yourself short and settle for far less than your potential.

Dr. Martin Seligman, in his book, Learned Optimism, wrote about the chief psychological phenomenon of modern life. He called it “learned helplessness.” Based on his 25 years of research, he discovered that virtually every person has one or more areas where they feel helpless and unable to do something that they really want to do.

Seligman’s research demonstrated how animals can be trained to feel that they are helpless. In one example, he put a dog into a cage with a glass wall in the middle that separated the dog from a bowl of food. The dog was hungry and tried to get at the food but kept banging his nose on the glass. After several hours, Seligman removed the glass. And what happened then? The dog, who was still hungry, sat only a few inches away from the food and never even attempted to eat it. The dog had learned to feel helpless. The had become so convinced that he was incapable of getting to the food that even when the obstacles were removed, he just sat there with his stomach growling.

There are dozens of experiments like this. In every case, it is clear that animals, and human beings for that matter, learn to feel helpless. They develop habits of thought that hold them back from reaching their full potential.

If someone were to tell you that you could learn to type 30, 40, or 50 words per minute by taking a typing course and practicing an hour each day for the next few months, you would shrug your shoulders and say, “Of course!” Everybody knows that you can acquire a particular physical skill by learning how it is done and then repeating it over and over again until it becomes automatic.

But when it comes to mental habit patterns, most people are a little baffled. They don’t realize that you can learn mental habit patterns by following exactly the same process that you would use to learn physical habit patterns. And mental habit patterns will have a far greater impact on your life and happiness than any physical habit pattern ever could.

Once you have recognized the old, negative habit patterns that do not serve your purposes, you can determine what new habit patterns you would like to adopt. Begin this process by looking around and determining the people that you admire the most, both living and dead. Ask yourself: What qualities do they have? Which of their characteristics do you most wish to have for yourself? Then make a plan to incorporate those ideal habits into your own character and personality.

You know that you can shape a piece of clay into any desired form. You can also shape your own character and personality by simply deciding to do so. I won’t say that it is easy. Changing your beliefs and attitudes about yourself is one of the most difficult undertakings you will ever face. But it is definitely possible and achievable if you dedicate the necessary time and effort.

How long does it take to develop a new habit pattern? It depends on how complex the habit pattern is. You can develop a simple habit pattern in 14 to 21 days. For example, if you want to begin getting up half an hour earlier so that you can plan and organize your day, it might take just two to three weeks to develop the habit. If you want to develop a new habit pattern of behavior that does deeper into your character, it might take several months or even a year or more. The most important point is that, no matter how long it takes, the end result is achievable if you are really determined.

The habits of success have been studied by the great thinkers and philosophers for at least 2,500 years. After personally studying the subject for more than 30 years, I have found that the very best people have the very best habits. Based on these findings, I have identified seven habits that you need to develop if you want to perform at your very maximum in everything you do.

The first is goal orientation. You need to become a habitual goal setter, and dedicate yourself to working from clear, written goals every day of your life.

The second habit you need to develop for success is result orientation. Result orientation is made up of two practices. The first is the practice of continuously learning so that you become better at what you do. The second practice is that of time management, which means setting very clear priorities on what you do and then concentrating single-mindedly on the most valuable use of your time.

The third major habit you need to develop is that of action orientation. This is really the most important habit for material success. It is the ability to get on with the job and get it done fast. Fast tempo in whatever you do is essential to your success. You need to overcome procrastination, push aside your fears and launch 100% toward the achievement of your most important goals. The fourth habit you need is people orientation. This is your decision to cultivate within yourself the habits of patience, kindness, compassion, and understanding. Virtually all of your happiness in life will come from your ability to get along well with other people. And getting along well with other people is based on a set of habits that you have learned, or failed to learn, from childhood. But it is never too late to become a wonderful human being in your relationships with other. The more you practice being a truly excellent person in your relationship with others, the more you will internalize those qualities and actually become that person.

The fifth habit you need for great success is health orientation. This means that you must make a conscious effort to eat the right foods in the right proportions. You must exercise on a regular basis, continually using every muscle and joint of your body to keep it young and fit. And finally, you must have regular habits of rest and recreation that will enable you, in combination with diet and exercise, to live a long, full life. Remember, your health is the single most important thing you have, and it is completely dependent upon the habits you develop with regard to the way you live.

The sixth habit is an orientation toward honesty and integrity. In the final analysis, the character you develop as you go through life is more important than virtually anything else. Honesty means that you practice the “reality principle” in everything you do. You are completely objective with yourself and with the world around you. You set very clear values for yourself and you organize your life around your values. You develop a vision for yourself and then you life your life consistent with your highest ideals. You never compromise your integrity or peace of mind for anyone or anything. This attitude of honesty will enable you to enjoy all of the other success habits that you are developing.

The seventh habit, the one habit that guarantees all the others, is that of self-discipline. Your ability to discipline yourself, to master yourself, to control yourself, goes hand in hand with success in every area of life.

My favorite definition of self-discipline comes from Elbert Hubbard. He said, “Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.” Every one of these habits, goal orientation, result orientation, action orientation, people orientation, health orientation, honesty, and self-discipline¾can be developed. The following is a seven step method you can use to internalize any habit or group of habits that you want to make a permanent part of your character and personality.

1. Decide clearly on the new habit. Write it down as a goal in the form of a present tense, personal, positive affirmation. For example, if you want to develop the habit of self-discipline, you write, “I am an extremely well-disciplined individual in everything I do.”

2. Repeat your affirmation as often as possible, and with as much enthusiasm and conviction as possible. The more times you repeat this command, the more likely it is that your subconscious mind will ultimately accept it and begin to adjust your thoughts, words, and behaviors to be consistent with it.

3. Visualize yourself as if you already had the new habit pattern. Imagine yourself as already being exactly the person that you want to become in the future. Remember, your subconscious mind is activated and programmed by mental pictures. All improvement in your life and character begin with an improvement in your mental pictures. Use visualization on a regular basis in conjunction with your positive affirmations.

4. Emotionalize the affirmation and the visualization. Take a few minutes each day to actually experience the feeling of being the excellent, outstanding human being that you have decided to become.

5. Launch into your new habit with conviction. Assume the role, acting as if you had been hired to perform this role in a movie or play. The more you behave exactly as if you already had the habit, the more you actually become the person that you desire to be.

6. Tell others that you have decided to develop this habit. When you tell others, you motivate and encourage yourself. You also force yourself to consistently act in accordance with your new resolutions because you know that others are watching.

7. Continually review your progress on a day-to-day basis. When Benjamin Franklin developed his own process for character formation, he would review his behavior every single day to see if he was living consistent with the values that he had determined were important. You can do the same thing. At the end of every day, do a brief recap of your behavior during the day relative to the values and habits you are trying to develop. Give yourself points when you are strong, and be patient with yourself when you slip from time to time.

The most important keys to developing new habit patterns are patience, determination, and persistence. When you begin to change yourself, you will find that it is not particularly easy. But it is possible if you continue to work at it.

You can take complete control over the shaping of your character and personality, and everything that happens to you in the future, by making the decision, right now, to define and develop the habits that will lead you to great success. And when you develop the habits possessed by other successful people, you will enjoy an equal, if not greater, level of success.

A Balanced Life

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 17:11:00 GMT

by brian tracy
According to psychologist Sidney Jourard, fully 85 percent of your happiness in life will come from your personal relationships. Your interactions and the time that you spend with the people you care about will be the major source of the pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction that you derive daily. The other 15 percent of your happiness will come from your accomplishments. Unfortunately, many people lose sight of what is truly important, and they allow the tail to wag the dog. They sacrifice their relationships, their major source of happiness, to accomplish more in their careers. But one’s career, at best, can be only a minor source and a temporary one, at that of the happiness and satisfaction that everyone wants.

There is no perfect answer to the key question of how to achieve balance in our lives, but there are a number of ideas that can help you to be and have and do more in the areas that are important to you. These ideas often require changes and modifications in the way you think and use your time, but the price is well worth it. You will find that by reorganizing your life in little ways, you can create an existence that gives you the highest quality and quantity of satisfaction overall. And this must be your guiding purpose. The ancient Greeks had two famous sayings: “Man, know thyself” and “Moderation in all things.” Taken together, those two ideas are a good starting point for achieving the balance that you desire. With regard to knowing thyself, it is very important to give some serious thought to what you really value in life. All trade-offs and choices are based on your values, and all stress and unhappiness come from believing and valuing one thing and, yet, finding yourself doing another. Only when your values and your activities are congruent do you feel happy and at peace with yourself.

So knowing yourself means knowing what you really value, knowing what is really important to you. The superior man or woman decides what is right before he or she decides what is possible. The advanced human being organizes his or her life to assure that everything that he or she is doing is consistent with his or her true values. It is essential for you to organize your life around yourself, rather than to organize yourself around the demands of your external world.

The second quote, “Moderation in all things,” is a wonderful and important dictate for successful living. But, at the same time, you know that you can’t really be successful in any area by being moderate in that area. Peter Drucker once wrote, “Wherever you find something getting done, you find a monomaniac with a mission.” You know that single-minded concentration on a goal or objective is absolutely necessary for achievement of any kind in a competitive society.

So what’s the solution? Over the years, I have worked with tens of thousands of men and women who have spent a lot of time and effort struggling to achieve balance in their lives. I have found that there is a simple formula; it is simple in that it is easy to explain, but you need tremendous self-discipline and persistence to implement it in your life.

The formula revolves around a concept of time management, or what you might want to call life management. Time management is really a form of personal management in which you organize your 24 hours a day in such a way that they give you the greatest possible return of happiness and contentment.

The key to time management, after you have determined your values and the goals that are in harmony with those values, is to set both priorities and posteriorities. The importance of setting priorities is obvious. You make a list of all the things that you can possibly do and then select from that list the things that are most important to you based on everything you know about yourself, about others and about your responsibilities. The setting of posteriorities is often overlooked. It is when you carefully decide which things you are going to stop doing so that you will have enough time to start doing something else.


a balanced life

The greatest single shortage we experience in America today is that of time. We suffer from what has been called “time poverty.” Men and women everywhere feel that their biggest single challenge is that they simply do not have enough time to do all the things that they have to do or want to do. People today feel pressured from all sides and are under an inordinate amount of stress. They feel overworked, fatigued and incapable of fulfilling all the responsibilities that they have taken on.

The starting point to alleviate this time poverty is to stop and think. Most people are so busy rushing back and forth that they seldom take the time to think seriously about who they are and why they are doing what they are doing. They engage in frantic activity, instead of thoughtful analysis. They get so busy climbing the ladder of success that they lose sight of the fact that the ladder may be leaning against the wrong building.

When my wife, Barbara, and I started our family, we were faced with a common dilemma: how can we balance the demands of work and home with the finite amount of time we are all given?

Here’s the answer I discovered: The key to success in a busy society is to devote your time to only two areas during the period of time when your family needs you, when your children are between the ages of birth to about 18 to 20 years. During this period of time, you need to curtail virtually all of your outside activities. You need to focus on two major areas your family and your career as I have done over the years. You need to place your family’s needs above all else and then organize your work schedule so that you can satisfy those needs on a regular basis. Then, when you work, you must concentrate single-mindedly on doing an excellent job.

Most people are time wasters. They waste their own time, and they waste your time as well. To be successful and happy, you must discipline yourself to work all the time you work. The average employee works at about 50 percent of capacity. Fully 80 percent of people working today are underemployed in that their jobs do not really demand their full capacities. Only 5 percent of workers surveyed recently felt that they were working at the outside limits of their potentials.

But this is not for you. You must resolve to work all the time you work. You must decide that from the time you start in the morning until the time you finish in the evening, you will work 100 percent of the time. Even if no one is watching you, you should be aware that everyone is watching you. Everybody knows everything. In every company, everyone knows who is working and who is not. Your job must be to work all the time you work. If people come by and want to chat, you simply smile at them and say, “Could we talk about this later?” Tell them that you have to get back to work.

Have a written list, and work on your list every day. Write down everything as it comes up, and add it to your list. Set priorities on your time, and be certain that you are working on the things that are most important to your boss and to your company. Refuse to get drawn into the time-wasting activities of the people around you. Work all the time you work.

Remember that to be successful, you must become a monomaniac with a mission. This is true today, and it has always been true in our competitive society. To be successful at your job, you must work fast and efficiently and nonstop all the time you are on the payroll. You must become an expert at time management. You must become so efficient and effective that you get twice as much done as anyone else. In this way, you will advance your career at the fastest rate possible, and you will also be on top of your job most of the time, and it will be unnecessary for you to take work home for the evenings and weekends.

Then, when you have finished your work, you can devote your full attention to your family and to the other important people in your life. The Bible says, “A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” One of the meanings of this is that if you are thinking about your work while you are with your family, or if you are thinking about your family when you are at work, you end up accomplishing far less in each area. However, if you are on top of your work, when you come home you can devote yourself single-mindedly again, like a monomaniac to your relationships and to enhancing the quality of your interactions with the most important people in your life.

The key to a happy family life is communication. And it is not quality of time but quantity of time that counts. Quality moments those little moments that are precious and important come unbidden and, usually, unexpectedly. They arise during the process of spending a large quantity of uninterrupted time with one or more people. You cannot dictate those moments in advance. You cannot decide to have quality time. You do not go to it. It comes to you.

There are a variety of ways to extract the greatest amount of quality and happiness from your relationships with the members of your family. Perhaps the most important is to spend unbroken time with your spouse on a daily basis. Of course, you should spend time together talking after the children have gone to bed, but you should also seek out and utilize small segments of time during the morning and early evening during which you can communicate and interact. One of the most important things that couples can do is spend the first 30 to 60 minutes after work debriefing each other and discussing the day’s activities.

Your children also have a tremendous need to communicate with you. In fact, in my research on how to raise super kids, I found that the one factor that was more important than any other was the amount of one-on-one time that the parents spent with the children. When parents don’t spend a lot of time with their children individually, they send a message to their children that they are not very valuable or important. Children then react by experiencing feelings of inferiority, lowered self-esteem, and negative self-images, and this is expressed in poor grades and behavioral problems. But when the parents take the time to sit down with their children and ask questions and listen to what is going on in their minds, the children tend to feel a deep sense of value and importance that is manifested in self-confidence, happiness, and good relationships with others.

The key is learning to use your time better. You cannot get more hours out of each day, but you can put more of yourself into each of those hours. Turn off the television and spend time talking with the members of your family. Never read newspaper of books when a member of your family wants to communicate with you. Put the reading material aside. Concentrate single-mindedly on the most important people in your world. Everything else can wait.

In regard to your work and family, continually ask yourself, “What is the most valuable use of my time right now?” Consider if what you are doing today will matter a week or a year from today. Sometimes, we become preoccupied with small things that are not really important in the long run. But what is important in the long run is the quality of our home life.

You don’t have to be a superman or superwoman to properly balance the demands of your work and the needs of your family. You must, however, be more thoughtful, be a better planner, use your time more effectively, and continually think of ways to enhance the quality of your life in both areas. If you set this as a goal and resolve to work toward it every day, you will gradually become far more efficient, far more effective, and a far happier human being. And that’s the most important thing of all.

Dramatic video of warplane going down in flames, exploding on ground in ...

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 22:17:00 GMT

The 11 Keys to Success

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 22:01:00 GMT

By Julie Jansen,

Author of “I Don’t Know What I Want, But I Know It’s Not This”

In his best-selling book “Emotional Intelligence,” Daniel Goleman writes, “There are widespread exceptions to the rule that IQ predicts success … at best, IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces.”

Goleman goes on to explain, “These other characteristics are called emotional intelligence: abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one’s moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope.”

This book is full of assessments, tools, resources and how-tos to help guide you in finding new work that will better meet your personal and financial needs. No matter which category you fit in, however, unless you are able to demonstrate and master a specific set of life skills and traits, you will find it difficult to find the work you want.

Observing people in the workplace has yielded 11 keys to success. Time and again, it is apparent that those individuals who exhibit these 11 keys and use them most productively are consistently the most successful and well-liked individuals overall. The good news is that most people are born with at least some of these keys or learned them at a very young age, and all of these keys can be developed or learned later in life.

success

These are the 11 keys to success:

1. Confidence: an unshakable belief in oneself based on a realistic understanding of one’s circumstances; a trait that most people admire in others and strive to acquire themselves.

2. Curiosity: being eager to know and learn; always showing interest and giving special attention to the less obvious; always being the person who says, “I want to know more about . . . .”

3. Decisiveness: arriving at a final conclusion or making a choice and taking action; making decisions with determination even when you don’t have all the information you think you need.

4. Empathy: demonstrating caring and understanding of someone else’s situation, feelings and motives; always thinking about what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes.

5. Flexibility: being capable of change; responding positively to change; being pliable, adaptable, nonrigid and able to deal with ambiguity.

6. Humor: viewing yourself and the world with enjoyment; not taking life or yourself too seriously; being amusing, amused and, at times, even comical.

7. Intelligence: thinking and working smartly and cleverly; being sharp in your dealings; “not reinventing the wheel”; planning before acting; working efficiently and focusing on quality over quantity. (Important note: This is different from IQ, the common abbreviation for intelligence quotient.)

8. Optimism: expecting the best possible outcome and dwelling on the most hopeful or positive aspects of a situation; believing that the glass is half full rather than half empty.

9. Perseverance: having passion, energy, focus and the desire to get results. Motivation, persistence and hard work are all aspects of perseverance.

10. Respect: remembering that it is just as easy to be nice; protecting another person’s self-esteem; treating others in a considerate and courteous manner.
11. Self-awareness:
a sophisticated form of consciousness that enables you to regulate yourself by monitoring yourself, observing yourself and changing your thought processes and behaviors.

Which of these keys are among your strengths? Which of the 11 are among your weaknesses? Self-awareness, the 11th key, is really the foundation for understanding yourself. If you are not sure how self-aware you are, ask several people whom you trust which of these 11 keys they believe are your strengths and which are not. Again, while no one person possesses all of these keys in equal amounts, each of them can be developed and improved.

Julie Jansen is the author of “I Don’t Know What I Want, But I Know It’s Not This.” She is a career coach and consultant who is also a frequent speaker at both nonprofit groups and corporations through the United States.


success_key

Wisdom of The Ages 60 Days to Enlightenment

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 18:15:00 GMT

Written and Read By : Wayne W Dyer

Wisdom of The Ages
60 Days to Enlightenment

Written and Read By :
Wayne W Dyer

Publisher: HarperCollins
Time : 75 Minute

Amazon.com Review
Wisdom of the Ages reads like a workshop on "What the Masters can Teach You." Author Wayne Dyer offers wisdom taught by the world's "great teachers" (such as Buddha, Jesus, Confucius, Michelangelo, and Emily Dickinson) and then provides an easy-to-digest interpretation for modern readers. The book is formatted into daily, quoted passages (around a page in length) from 60 of these teachers--the "60 Days to Enlightenment" in the book's title. After each quote, Dyer offers his own thoughts on how the "lesson" can be applied to contemporary life. After his essay, the author includes a list of exercises to put the teacher's advice to use. Each passage includes a heading--"Soulcenter" for a quote from Herman Melville's Moby Dick, or "Communication" for William Blake's poem "A Poison Tree," for example. While his tone is always reverent, Dyer's interpretations occasionally sound flat and obvious--as if he is dumbing down the language for his audience, rather than elevating readers to a higher consciousness (or at least a higher education). This is a shame, because when Dyer writes with the eloquent and enthusiastic voice that earned him his huge popularity--glimpses of that voice do appear in this book--one sees why so many consider him a "master teacher" in his own right. --Gail Hudson

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How to Get What You Want By : Zig Ziglar

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:46:00 GMT

Live Seminar
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
ISBN-10: 0743537262
Description:
Irrepressible, enlightening -- and extraordinarily successful -- here's Zig Ziglar presented live during one of his electrifying public seminars. This master motivator has adapted his proven techniques for everyone's use -- and endless benefit.

Runtime : 61 minute

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10 lessons from Tony Robbins

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:20:00 GMT

anthony robbins

Tony Robbins has been an inspiration for millions. Here are 10 lessons from Tony Robbins:

1) By altering your body's physiology,
you can achieve an immediate change of your emotional state. The mind will follow whatever state your phsyical body is in and not vice-versa.
2) Ask specific questions of yourself
(in your self-talk) to direct and control your attention to the various aspects of the human experience. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions you ask of yourself.
3) Get leverage to create personal change
by associating an old behavior with massive pain and the desired new behavior with massive pleasure. Tony is a big believer in the pain/pleasure principles of life and this applies in business as well.
4) When you get stuck, interupt your limiting pattern
by doing something totally unexpected.
5) You can condition your behavior by visualizing it over and over again.
This is not exactly unique to Tony Robbins, but he does reinforce this message in all of his products.
6) Goal-setting strategy:
Know your end outcome; Take massive intelligent action; Have sensory-acuity to notice if you are getting the results you desire and if not; change your approach; and change *until* you get your end outcome.
7) Create a "Compelling future"
by vividly imagining your end result to generate enthusiasm and power within yourself. The past does not equal the future. Find beliefs that support your goals and desires.
8) Youth is Power!
This is one of Tony's beliefs. Even if you don't have fancy degrees, your youth can still mean power, flexibility and opportunity for your life.
9) Principles of CANI!
CANI stands for Constant And Never-ending Improvement. It's a basic tenet of Tony Robbins.

10) NLP can be useful. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and there are many NLP undertones in Tony's basic tenets. He went on to morph NLP into his own technology called "NAC" (Neuro Associative Conditioning).

Download free e-book by Anthony Robbins

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:09:00 GMT

A Quick and Simple Guide to Taking Control of Your Life by Anthony Robbins

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How To Become A More Creative Person

adeli.nina@yahoo.com (nina) — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 18:49:00 GMT

Being creative is all about coming up with new ideas and new ways of doing things.

Being creative can help you to improve your relationships with other people by doing things with them they haven’t done before, it can help you to produce better work that people find interesting, and it can even help you to make money by coming up with new ideas or products which satisfy consumer needs that were previously left unsatisfied.

In fact, virtually all the popular singers, actors and business companies you read and hear about in the media, owe their success and fame largely to creativity.

They did things differently, and as a result, people took note of them and began to follow them. In this section you will learn exactly what creativity is, and how you can unlock your creative potential.

CONTINUES...