motherhood

Let them fail big time!

2016-04-25T16:19:00.001+08:00

You heard that right. I mean why not?

Here's why parents should let or allow their kids to fail.

1 It will teach them a lesson. Even as adults we fail and then we try again, hoping we won't make the same mistakes. Guide them, but don't point the correct thing to do.

2 They will learn what's good and what's bad. Of course, if it fails then they would see how that affected their progress/assignment. Take homework for example, if they don't do it then they will have to take up the consequences then they will understand it was a bad idea/decision not to do it.

3 They will learn to appreciate what they have. Sure there are other ways to teach them that, but since we are on failing why not? If they fail certain privileges will be taken away, that way next time they won't do their best, they'll know what will happen.

4 Teach them to appreciate the people that are there to help. If as parent tell your child to do his homework and he won't do it, then next time he won't have anyone there and it sure sounds like fail.

Not a choice, but a must

2014-02-24T19:35:00.001+08:00

I would have chosen normal vaginal birth a thousand times over a c-section.

I have two beautiful and healthy children, thank God for that.

My first one was a normal vaginal delivery and I am glad it was that way. Even though it was an induction, because he just wasn't moving as much as he should and freaked me out, he was delivered at 38w and 3days and was a healthy baby boy.

The process of delivering was an easy one, went in to check his heart beat and when they checked me I was 2cm dilated So they called my ob and she suggested, since I am already dilated and worried abt his movement, why not induce, I was already 38w 3days along.

So she came and broke my waters and gave me some meds for contractions. That happened at arnd 10pm. Shortly after, arnd 12midnight my contraction were getting stronger and more frequent. The pain was still manageable.( I have to mention that on that day my last meal was something light for lunch and that was it.) Arnd 3am the contractions were giving me the pain of my life, on a scale from 1-10 I was at an 7-8. Being tired and so damn hungry, and after trying to sleep through the pain (I did manage to sleep here and there) ,they wouldn't give me anything to eat or drink, I asked for and epidural at 3am.

Was happy the pain would go away soon.

Yeah, right!!!!

I had to wait an hour for it. While waiting I tried to comfort myself by breathing slowly and calmly. Finding comfortable positions was helpful as well.

Finally arnd 4am they came and put in the epidural and my pain was zero again.

After 3 more hours I was fully dilated and happy to start pushing. He came out at 8:17am like a "bullet", fast without me pushing his body out. He was clean and cute and crying just enough for us to know he is ok.

I was cut down there so my ob was stiching me while I was trying to breastfeed a totally sleepy baby.

Overall this was a pleasant and unexpected experience for me.

With my daughter was totally different.

I had to have a c-section, cause all my pregnancy she was a breech baby, not even once changed her position.

Close to my 37th week I started to feel some contractions, not many but definitely there. When my ob checked me during my next visit, she said I was 1cm dilated. Unexpected!!!! So many things were abt to happen that month, but her birth wasn't one of them, not in my mind at least. My mom and brother were coming to visit, my husband was going to his sister's wedding in the Philippines, my doc was going on a holiday.

Few days before her birth, doc checked again and she was still breech and me dilated close to 2cm. At this point we knew we will have a c-section, we just didn't know it will be so early. Hubby leaving on 19th afternoon, mom and brother coming on 18 and my doc leaving on 22nd December, I pretty much didn't have much choice. By delaying it would have meant my hubby could not have been there for his daughter's birth, and would have been done by a different doc, most definitely , an emergency c-section.

So we decided to go w 19th dec.

(Till this day I keep asking and wondering what a birth date 19th, but then it's her health and mine that matter)

We went to the hospital early morning and went through registration and all. Went to the room I would be staying after my c-section and waited for people to start coming in and prep me. Wheeled me down to ot and more pushing and pulling there, and they weren't even started w my c-section. IV's and epidural and blood pressure checking, etc. finally my doc came in and she told me as soon as she cuts through my tummy and all, my husband can come in. And so he did abt 15 later. Didn't feel a thing of what she was doing there. Then, suddenly heard a cry, OMG, there she was my beautiful squishy baby girl. Once they wrapped her in a towel they brought her to me and when I smelled her I felt soooo good. She had the sweetest smell. Have never smelled that before. Took some pics w her and then they whisked her away for cleaning and others. My hubby went w her and took some more pics. After wheeling me back to my room everything was peace and lots of silence. Later on my hubby came and stayed w me for a while. My uterus started contracting and felt some pain. Still ok. Then he left to bring over my mom, brother and my son. From the time he left till he came back I felt I am delivering another child. The pain was worse and worse by the minute. I couldn't even find a comfy position cause I was still numb from the waist down so I was crying instinctively without stopping. I called the nurse and asked what was happening, as no one told me I had an IV w meds for contracting my uterus. I told her to reduce it or to increase my pain meds cause I felt I am going to die there. So for abt 3-4 hours was in deep deep pain, worst ever. And then slowly slowly was easing and I started to feel better and better.

Finally they brought my baby girl and I was able to hold her from a lying position, wasn't even able to breastfeed her so I told the nurses to bottle feed her for me. So happy to finally hold her. She was awaited by so many in my family cause she is the only granddaughter and great-granddaughter.

My mom, brother and hubby and my ds came shortly and they were so happy to see her.

I asked to be checked out one day early because I was feeling horrible in the hospital and my hubby was away those days so my mom and brother had to take care of my ds, which missed me like crazy.

So that is the story of my to births. Like I said, the second one was a must and not my choice.

Tough day

2014-02-24T14:10:00.001+08:00

Saturday, 22nd Feb, was a tough day. With my lo having some tummy trouble and my older one having 40degree fever.

It's crazy when it happens all at the same time. My lo was screaming her lungs out, am guessing because of her tummy, not sure if colicky or just upset tummy, and my elder one was having high fever, third day in a row. It was lunch time as well. And my older one, Joshua, was hungry and lethargic, sort of.

Which one should I have attended to first? My head was spinning thinking how am I going to do this? How do I get them both to calm down and feed at the same time?

Thank God my lo settled easily after abt 30mins of carrying, and my sweet Joshua for being so understanding and patient.

We got through that day and now I keep wishing and praying that it won't happen again. But hey, when you have two kids, or more, you never know what's in store and how the next day will be.

How I got my newborn to sleep at night

2014-02-09T11:27:00.001+08:00

I know parents and specially new mothers, struggle w night sleep. It's difficult to put a newborn to sleep at night and even more difficult to stay asleep for at least 2-3 hrs in the first few weeks. I read lots of articles on how to do it and what is the best way and so on so forth. But I guess it's always up to your baby and what parents do.

My newborn daughter was, I guess I could say, self trained. There were times when she cried and fussed at night. But what I did to make her sleep again was very simple. I never talked to her or sing or look into her eyes. According to an article I read few months back, or maybe years, it says you shouldn't look into your baby's eyes when trying to put him/her to sleep cause it will keep them awake. Not sure of the explanation anymore. Also do not talk to them cause they will take it as a play, or that they have to stay awake and listen to you. Singing it's optional, my daughter just didn't like to sleep w music. She would listen to different songs, not a lullaby, and then I would have to turn off whatever device was playing or she would fuss and start crying.

Further more, daytime play w you baby, just don't overstimulate him/her which will lead to crying. Observ when your baby is sleepy and try to put him/her in a crib or bed to settle and eventually fall asleep.

Also, do not turn on a big light in the room, have a lamp or smth small to generate enough light for you to see if changing diaper or feeding. No tv as well 😏.

It might not work for everybody, but I just wanted to share my experience.

Good luck to all parents!!!

Motherhood teaches you many things

2012-10-27T09:58:00.001+08:00

It is true. You think you know everything, and that you can fix and solve and answer to anything in this life. Whatever may come to you it's solvable.
Well, big news to all those who never experienced parenthood or motherhood. You get stuck. Literally stuck.
From the moment they come into your life till you die. Haven't tried afterlife, but hope they will manage themselves when I won't be around anymore.
I love my son, a lot. More than life, I would do almost anything for him. But he has his own "moments" where he outsmart me or he wishes he would and could. Take for example the time when his father bought a new iPad. He wanted to see and check and press and many more. So we got him some cool nice apps to enjoy and kill the boredom. Well he did more than that. By 2 and a few months he knew the alphabet, he recited it and recognized the letters. By 2 and abt 8-9months he could count to 20 forward and from 10backwards. He knew most colors and shapes and he could do simple puzzles on iPad by the age of three. He wouldn't allow us to show him how it"s done or help him when he couldn't do something. He would struggle and scream at himself in rage and anger when he would find a tough one. He ,somehow, got it every time. He did have some really tough times, then he'd come crying and showing his disappointed face to me, and he would ask if I can help.
My point is that you may think they, your kids, have no idea about anything, but you might be surprised to find you were wrong.
They learn faster than you think and they figure things out quicker than you would.
What lesson are you taught out of this? The lesson if independence, let them be, let them experience all sorts of feelings. Let them come ask for help, do not offer right away. You might think you're doing both a favor. For him-he won't feel frustrated or challenged, for you -you won't get to hear the screams and whines.
It is a good short-term solution. In a long-term it's a wrong one. You do not want to facilitate his easy way of fixing things by asking you to do it. You wanna challenge his brain, his emotions.

Travie McCoy: Billionaire ft. Bruno Mars [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

2011-01-29T21:02:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Josh

2011-01-11T17:20:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday my special baby!!! I love you so much!!!
I wish all the best for you, lots of success, love and always be as happy and as good as you are right now. Be smart but not proud, be rich but humble, be a husband and a father one day.
May God bless you with everything that you need and a lot more.
Happy to know that you've started to talk more, both Romanian and English. All the words coming from you sound so sweet and cute. Happy to know that you can also put on your pants and shoes, brush you teeth by yourself, remove your jacket, pants, t-shirt.
You are a big boy now, and soon you'll be going to kindergarten and have your own friends to play with them, share things.
I guess i can say that the adventure starts now.
Enjoy this long and nice adventure, hope you'll like it and create many many memories.
I am following this blog, once a mother, and i want to wish her all the best, a safe pregnancy, and easy delivery and healthy babies!!! God bless you!!!!!

One more year gone

2010-12-21T16:11:00.000+08:00

Another year has passed so fast. My baby will turn 2 soon, he's getting big now, even though he's not talking that much he is doing stuff that other kids his age don't. He follows what i do or what daddy is doing, he is well behaved most of the times, and he does understand what i am telling him.
Soon he'll have to go to childcare, so he can enjoy the company of other kids, so he can learn other more interesting stuff. He'll have kids his own age to play with, fight for toys, or share the toys.
I am happy he's a very humble boy, well so far, he loves to share a smile with all people. Specially in the food courts or mcdonalds, he'll smile at those cleaners and try to grab their hands to say hello.
He asks me for coins to give to those selling tissue or singing on the side of the MRT stations.
Cristmas is coming and unlike other years, this time my hubby and i won't buy gifts for each other, we bought some for jsh and for our friends. Our financial problems has reached us from behind and we can't run away anymore. But we thank God for all the help we have received from him the whole year and specially last few days. We hope and pray that next year will be a better one for us and for everybody else.
I wish i could buy gifts for so many people right now, i wish i could give smth to our families, but instead i will pray for them so they will have what they need, i pray for good health, peace, happiness, joy and love.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

memories, memories, memories

2010-07-20T10:40:00.000+08:00

6 months- gorgeous eyes

13 months- frowning for more cherries

18 Months and already giving orders...

Time goes by just like that. I miss the times when he was as small(or as big) as a loaf. My lesson learnt is don't waste time... enjoy every bit of it, it will never ever come back.
Mommy will always love you...

Stay-at-home Mom vs Career Woman

2010-05-15T19:58:00.001+08:00

My son is now 16 mnth old and i am thinking what to do? Put him into childcare and find a job for myself or just stay at home for longer?
When i got pregnant i quit my job because i was sick all the time and the environment where i was working wasn't good for my pregnancy. So then i said that once i will give birth i will stay at home with my baby for 6 months, then will start looking for jobs. It's very expensive to have a baby, not that i am complaining. I thought it will be easier for my hubby as well. But when i check around for infant care centres i got a shock to know how much they charge.
My initial thought was to get a half day job, and i would have time for my son, for the house, and for myself, but viewing all those charges from child care centres, it got me thinking. For a half day job i would be paid very less, compared to a full-time job, and so i would not afford to put my son into childcare.
The time passed and here we are with my son 16months old and no job.
Shoul i feel somehow guilty for not having a job or not trying hard enough? My hubby is woking so hard and i wish i could help sometimes.
He always tells me that he likes me being home cause i can take care of our son for longer. We heard so many stories from childcare centres whereby children have been punished way too harsh. At one point i will have to let go of him and send him to kindergarten, but first just want to make sure i am ready and he is ready as well. He needs to communicate with me and teachers and talk to me when something bad happen to him.
I know and i have seen a lot of stay-at-home moms, and they're ok with the fact that their husbands are working and they look after their children. So maybe so should I.
For now i will spend as much time with my son as i can, later on will see what will happen.
Love and hugs

A mother's LOVE

2010-04-21T20:15:00.001+08:00

I am at the point where i am asking myself do I love my baby enough? Do I really care for him?
I mean i know i love him so much, but sometimes i feel like he doesn't sense it. I get upset with him lately from very simple things and end-up shouting at him, and not paying attention to him.
It is very difficult for me, i am not complaining, being a mom with no help but from my hubby. And how much can he help? He works from morning till evening, before he leaves for work, at 8am, he will give our son his milk and we then have breakfast together. At night when he comes home Joshua is sleeping already. No way he'll wake him up just to say hello or for a kiss, it's not good for his sleep. He does go inside the room and looks at him for a while and sometimes he will say a prayer for him.
I love my hubby, i do not blame him for anything, he is so responsible and takes good care of us. But sometimes it feels so overwhelming being alone at home with my son. I am talking to the walls all over my house, at least that's what it feels like. He is just 15months, how much can he understand? Or how much attention can he pay to me or my endless talking. I sing to him, i explain everything that i am doing, i read books, etc, you name it i do it.
Maybe people should get somekind of manual of what to expect once you have a child. You think you've done with night time feeds by 4 months, and endless sleepless nights, and cryings etc. No you're not. It keeps going on and on and on...
This is it, you just have to keep going, how do i do it?
Journals, remembering how fun he can be, looking into his eyes and seeing the innocence, getting a hug when asked, and the best one - laugh as loud as I can when I can. It may take a long time till the next one.

Love and hugs!!!

motherhood: SHAKING BABY SYNDROME

2010-04-14T11:06:00.000+08:00

motherhood: SHAKING BABY SYNDROME

SHAKING BABY SYNDROME

2010-04-14T11:05:00.000+08:00

I want everybody to understand how dangerous is to shake your baby.
I know how difficult it is to handle a baby cry, specially when they cry non-stop. But as adults we have to understand that crying is their way to comunicate with us, tell us that smth is not right.
My son used to cry for hours when he was 2-5 months old. I would try to sing, swing him, check his diapper, feed him, nothing would work. The best advice i got from friends, other mothers, internet, was to just put him into his crib and get out of that room for few minutes, regroup and recharge myself, after my mind was clear and i was calmer, i would go back and while taking deep deep breaths placed him on my chest, both lying on the bed comfortably, he would stop. He would love to feel the calmness of my breath and the slow heart beat.
It was just so simple to handle this...

love being pregnant

2010-04-07T11:32:00.000+08:00

No, no i am not pregnant yet, i guess, but i enjoyed being with my first baby. Even though i had 5 months of sickness, i still had a good time. There was a connection between me and my baby that i can't describe. It felt even strongger when he started to flip around in my belly.

Loved to walk around and show everybody that i am pregnant, i think people all around could see the happiness on my face.

My hubby used to tell me every day that i was the most beautiful prengnant woman he'd ever seen, he still tells me that i am beautiful. I guess right now i miss being pregnant, my friend has a 13 month old baby boy and is pregnant again. i don't envy her, but i wish i would be in her shoes.

After i gave birth it felt like a part of me has been taken away, felt "empty" inside. Although i had my baby in my arms and could enjoy him and see and play with him, there was still something missing.

Don't know what to call that, maybe it was post-partum depression, or someting else.

Sometimes you think that being pregnant means strechmarks, getting fat, bloating, nausea etc. Yeah it does involve all those things, but it also involves happiness, beauty, miracle and all the nice thing that you wouldn't expect to feel. I love being a mom, with all the stress that comes around. But i love being pregnant as well. But then, i only want 2 babies, so i will try to enjoy to max my next pregnancy, when it will come.

God bless al pregnant women and those who want to be pregnant!!!

when is it the right time to have a second baby

2010-03-24T16:46:00.000+08:00

According to experts there is no such thing as "the right time". It depends on so many things. From finacial issues to psychological ones. And then some say that if you wait till your first one is 12 mnths then will be difficult cause he is growing up and he needs all the attention he can get, wait till he is 18-24 mnths and he goes to childcare/kindergarten and again he will need you. But then if they are close ages it's good for them cause they can study together and help eachother when need. and if they are so far apart as age, the older one can be like an idol/good example for the young one.
I think whenever you feel ready and know for sure that you can handle two, then go ahead and make yourself happy.