Stream of Unconsciousness

Politics & Religion Don't Add Up

2011-12-09T14:44:00.001-06:00

My earliest memory of politics was voting for Ronald Reagan in the 1980 presidential election. Obviously, since I was 8 years-old, this was a mock election at my elementary school. I don't remember why I voted for him, but I thought it was very cool that I voted for the guy who won the actual election.

The fact that we have the opportunity to vote and elect the people who run our state and local governments is something that most Americans take for granted. On average, roughly 58% of eligible voters vote in presidential elections. The number drops below 50% for local elections. Personally, I have always felt a responsibility to vote whenever I had the opportunity.

Growing up in the church, it seemed to be typical that Christians were Republicans. I don't remember anyone specifically telling me that. I just got that impression. I toed that line for most of my life, blindly supporting "conservative" candidates because I assumed their beliefs lined up with mine. And I think there are a lot of people who were and are in the same boat.

I'm not sure where the term "The Christian Right" came from, but I think it is misguided, at best. Most of the Republicans I see don't seem to be making decisions in office that line up with the teachings of the Bible. Now, before you go crazy on me, I'm not saying they should be making decisions by reading the Bible. But, if you're going to call yourself the Christian Right, you better back it up. Sure, when it comes to abortion and same-sex marriage, they'll shout their opposition from the mountain tops. But, when it comes to fiscal policy, the wealthy people and big corporations seem to be more important than "the least of these".

I think it was be great if we just did away with political parties and let candidates stand on their own, instead of spewing partisan sound bites to gain votes. This applies to both sides. Not just the Republicans. I realize this will never happen.

There are a lot of politicians who actually listen to their constituents and work to make their city/state/country a better place. Far too often though, elected officials (especially ones who have been in office a long time) are too busy pandering to the lobbyist and special interests who use their money and influence to keep their favorites in power.

Obviously, I could go on for days about this, but I'll quit while I can. I'd love to hear some thoughts on this.

"Keep Warm and Well Fed"

2011-11-28T12:30:00.001-06:00

Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? James 2:15-16

Often, when we think of 'the needy', we think of people in third-world countries, living halfway around the globe. The harsh reality is that there homeless and hungry people all around you. According to a new report, 17.2 million households were food insecure in 2010. And 6.4 million households experienced very low food security, meaning “normal eating patterns of one or more household members were disrupted and food intake was reduced at times during the year because they had insufficient money or other resources for food.” Other data states that in 2009 almost 10% of residents here in Norman, OK had incomes of less than 50% of the poverty threshold, which was $21,756 for a family of 2 adults and two children. Can you imagine living on less than $11,000 a year?

A 2010 Point-in-Time homeless count documented 573 unduplicated homeless individuals in Norman. Additionally, 268 minor children were documented as homeless through the Department of Education. That is nearly the population of one of our smaller Norman elementary schools and does NOT include parents.

Before I continue, I think it is important to note that while many people in places of need are to blame for their situation, many others are not. You can live your life the right way, make all the right decisions, and still end up out of a job, out of money, or out of opportunities. Even those who have made poor decisions deserve a second chance (and a third chance). Who of us has never needed a break? Who of us has never needed a hand up? I get so tired of the way some people look on the less fortunate with contempt. Who are we to judge a person, especially without ever taking the time to know them and hear their story? With all the grace and forgiveness I have received in my life, the least I can do is extend that same grace to others.

If you are in the Norman, OK area, below is some information on great organizations who help the needy here. For the rest of you around the country who would like to help, contact your local United Way and they can point you in the right direction.

East Main Place is a homeless transitional living facility resource. They house more than 50 residents at any given time. They provide comprehensive case management services, accountability and structure. Once people enroll in our program, case managers assist participants with a job search. 90% of their residents work full time within 90-120 days of residency. Additionally, East Main Place is the only housing program in our community that has 100% room sponsorship and EMP is the only program that allows participants to keep all of their apartment furnishings once they successfully graduate the program. Contact Cory Allen at 447-4663 for more information on how you can help/

Mission Norman operates a food pantry here in town. Other than food donations, they accept and distribute clothes, toiletries, furniture, dishes, and most anything else. They can be reached at 321-8880.

Food and Shelter, Inc., serves meals Monday - Saturday to anyone who walks in the door. They also operate a Day Center where homeless or needy families can go for regular, scheduled activities, case management, shower & laundry facilities, and computer/phone use. They also offer children's advocacy services in conjunction with the Oklahoma Department of Health and Human Services, United Way, and the Center for Children & Families. They need volunteers daily in their kitchen as well as donations. Call 360-4954, ext 106 to find out how you can get involved.

Human suffering and its end is our responsibility

A Simple Question

2011-11-17T10:08:00.001-06:00

People are bought and sold everyday. People. Human beings, just like you and me. Children, teenagers, and adults. Male and Female. They are sold in to forced labor. They are sold in to the commercial sex industry. They are treated like trash; used up and thrown away when they are no longer of value to their owners. So here is the simple question:

Are you okay with that?

It may seem trite or oversimplified, but that is really what it comes down to.You are either okay with human trafficking or you are not. If you are okay with it, feel free to go on about your business. If you are not okay with it, you have a moral obligation to do something about it.

According to Kevin Bales of Free the Slaves, there are 27 million people modern-day slavery across the world. Aside from that, I'm not going to throw a bunch of statistics on here. The only number that matters is one. One person man forced to work for nothing, one child sold, one girl forced into prostitution. ONE is too many. If you would like to see the statistics (they are astounding), you can click here for numbers from the CNN Freedom Project or here for a list of available statistics estimating the scope of Human Trafficking around the world and within the United States.

So what can one person (you) do to end human trafficking? I'm glad you asked.

Educate Yourself

Here are just few resources you can use to get information about human trafficking:

Promote Awareness

Most of us like to live in our own little world and take care of our own family and our own problems. We can't concern ourselves with things we are unaware of. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. That's a pretty easy fix. Take the information you find and tell everyone you know. Use Facebook, Twitter, your blog, and any other means you have in make sure that people can't say, "I had no idea". Most of the sites linked in this post have Facebook pages and Twitter accounts. Follow them for the latest updates.

Take Action

For the average person, it would be quite difficult to drop everything and go find some victims of human trafficking to set free. Fortunately, there are a multitude of organizations that have laid the groundwork and have systems in place to rescue victims and punish those who are responsible. In addition to the links above, which have information about how you can help, check out the links below.

International Justice Mission
Polaris Project
She Dances

Of course, you can always use your favorite search engine to find other organizations to support. Be sure to do your research and make sure they are on the up and up.

These men, women, and children need us to speak up for them. Will you help?

Heart and Soul

2011-11-09T14:58:00.000-06:00

For some back-story on my heart condition, check out some older posts here and here.

A few weeks ago, I had my semiannual echocardiogram. Though the results were not much worse than previous tests, my cardiologist felt we should, once again, look into the possibility of having my artificial aortic valve replaced. The valve is not operating at a high efficiency, with pressure building up behind it. I had also, over the last several months, noticed my stamina was worsening. With all that in mind, they set up an appointment to see Dr. Craig Elkins, one of the premier cardio thoracic surgeons in Oklahoma. I had seen Dr. Elkins back in 2009 and we decided against surgery at the time.

My wife Carrie and I met with Dr. Elkins yesterday. I went in to the appointment with the impression that he would give a recommendation for whether or not to have surgery. Oops. He basically left it up to me. Thinking this through over the last couple of weeks, I really felt like it was time to have the surgery. My thoughts on it are:

My mechanical valve is not going to get any better. It may be fine for the next 20 years, the pressure behind the valve could get worse (causing chest pains, lower stamina, heart attack), or it could fail altogether (worst-case scenario).
I am not getting younger. The stress on my body from the surgery and the recovery process will be much easier for a nearly 40-year old than it will be if I wait another 10-20 years.
I want to be able to enjoy physical activities with my family. Running around the yard playing soccer or baseball with my kids for even a short time wears me out. My artificial valve, and consequently my heart, cannot keep up during moderate periods of exercise or other activities. With the procedure, I will have the right size valve and it should be able to handle these situations with no problems.

While Carrie and I have talked about the situation, we hadn't really talked about actually having the surgery or if it was a good idea at this time. So, when Dr. Elkins 'popped the question', I just had to go with what i thought was the best choice.

Once we agreed to move forward with the surgery, we talked about different options for replacing the valve. After going over several options, we decided on the Ross Procedure. Essentially, the take out the mechanical aortic valve, transplant my healthy pulmonary valve to the aortic position, then a pulmonary homograft (human donor valve) is used to replaced my pulmonary valve. For more details on the Ross Procedure click here and here.

I am having a CT scan this Friday to make sure there are no other issues with my heart. Once that is done, we'll work on scheduling the surgery. It will likely take place in the next 2-3 weeks. I hope to be recovered in time to enjoy the holidays with my family.

The last three weeks have been very difficult. Even with all the advances in medicine, my chest is going to be cracked open and I'll be in surgery for about 5 hours. Anything can happen. I know that God has this situation in His hands and as Matthew 6:27 says, worrying will not add a single hour to my life. Thank you so much to those have been praying and expressing their support through all of this. I'll post more info as it becomes available.

Catalyst Dallas: Dino Rizzo

2011-05-20T09:12:00.000-05:00

Dino Rizzo is the founding pastor Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge, LA., and the author of the book Servolution. In his lab session at Catalyst Dallas, Dino talked passionately about serving and loving your city. Here are the four things you need to do for your city:

Love your City
Know your City
Understand your City
Pay Attention to your City

We need to be aware of the seasons and rhythms of our city. If we listen, if we hear what needs to be heard, we will be able to more effectively serve our community. If we can do that, there are some very real and tangible rewards for the church.

Access
Favor
Opportunity
Influence
Visibility
Necessary

What this boils down to is, the more you serve and love on your city, the more opportunities you will get to serve. You will get more access to those who need your help the most. The more likely your city will come to you for help. "Serving with a pure heart is worth more than any amount of advertising", Dino said. You will be seen as the solution. Jesus said in Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"

I really enjoyed Dino's session. We should all have his passion for serving our cities.

How Facebook Almost Killed My Blog

2011-03-29T12:42:00.000-05:00

When I started this blog in 2007, I didn't know who, if anyone, would read it. I just knew that I needed a vehicle to share my thoughts. At the time, I was on MySpace but not yet on Facebook. I had written a few posts on MySpace (check 'em out here, here and here), but I needed a place to write that everyone could see. Once I started, I couldn't stop. I wrote 25 or so posts in the first 3 months.

I continued to write frequently in 2008. I averaged one post a week for the year. Then, something crazy happened. My posts slowed almost to a halt. I posted 13 times in 2009 and 3 times in 2010. So what happened? Facebook happened. When something cool happened or I had a great thought, instead of taking the time to expound on it and writing a blog post, I would just write a quick status update. Call it laziness or impatience and you'd probably be right.

The problem is when I post a quick status, it doesn't always fully convey what I really have to say. The other problem is it takes critical thinking out of the equation. Often times, after I post a status on FB, I think "that didn't come out right". When I blog, I take the time to think things through and re-read the post to be sure my thoughts are coming across how I intend them to. I didn't realize how much I missed writing until I took the time to post my thoughts on 9/11. As I wrote it, it made me so happy to be able to get my thoughts out. I remembered how much I love to write.

The other hindrance to blogging is time. Since the beginning of 2009, we've added another child to our family and my responsibilities at work have grown. So, it comes down to priorities. There are 168 hours in week. Certainly I can set aside 2-3 three of those to write. I guess time will tell how things go from here. I am a historically fast starter. We'll see if I stick with it.

For those of you who haven't read my older posts, I encourage you to do so. Please leave feed back, either here or on FB or twitter.

9/11 Thoughts

2010-09-14T08:39:00.000-05:00

Nine years ago today I was working at Blockbuster in CT. I had gone over to the bank and they said a plane hit a building in NYC. I went back to BBV and watched live as the second plane hit the World Trade Center. I was in shock. It was so surreal. As both towers came crashing down, I stood in silence. I was so confused. In my sheltered little world, I couldn't fathom why anyone would want to attack the United States. I mean, what did we ever do to them? Naivete is a curious thing.

I have so much respect for those first responders who, without hesitation, rushed into the burning towers. Unconcerned with their own safety, they did what they were trained to do: help those who needed help. I don't think I would have been able to run into a burning building to help people I never met. It takes a certain type of person to do that. I am so grateful to all those who protect, serve, and rescue the rest of us. My sister-in-law, Melissa, along with my good friend Norman, put their lives on the line everyday as police officers. Melissa's husband, Adam, was a firefighter who was forced to retire due to the toll the job took on his body. I am thankful for their sacrifices.

The most memorable image of the day was watching people leap out of the World Trade Center. Jumping to their death. What kind of fear drives someone to jump out of a 20-story window? What goes through a person's mind as they fall? Blows me away.

We also owe a debt of gratitude to the passengers aboard United Flight 93 who refused to let the hijackers use their plane as a weapon. We don't know for sure where the plane was headed (likely the White House), but where ever it was, many more people would have lost their lives if the brave souls on that plane had not decided to fight back.

I sometimes wonder what our world would be like if the attacks of 9/11 never happened. Would war in Iraq happened? Would we have invaded Afghanistan? How many thousands of lives would have been saved? But the attacks did happen. And for awhile, the country was united as one against a common enemy. We flew flags. We sang patriotic songs. We cried every time the national anthem was played. Before long though, partisan politics and ideology tore the nation apart once again. Today, our nation is as divided as it's been in probably 50 years.

Republican/Democrat. Religious/non-Religious. Rich/Poor. Haves/Have-nots. Us/Them. Me/You. Blind distaste for those who don't look, act, dress, feel, live, love like us. What will it take to unify our once great country? I have no idea. I fear it will never happen. I pray it doesn't take another terrorist attack.

As I get ready for a day of college football, I won't cheer as loud as I usually would. I'll temper my joy over the day's events with the memory of the events of the day 9 years ago when our world was forever changed.

Book Report: You Can't Send a Duck to Eagle School

2010-04-20T12:46:00.000-05:00

Okay, it's not really a book report. My boss recently asked us to read this book on leadership. I enjoyed it quite a bit and thought I'd share some of my favorite quotes:

It's the little things, not the big ones that will earn the respect of your people.

"In 3 years every product I make will be obsolete. The only question is whether we will make it obsolete or someone else will." Bill Gates

"It is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining who we are." Max Dupree

If your company mission is to climb a tree, which would you rather so: hire a SQUIRREL or train a HORSE?

If you throw your heart over the fence, the rest will follow.

The "Eat the frog" analogy (look it up) hit home for me. I often get the easy things out of the way first and leave the difficult tasks for later. Not a good plan. I am working on changing that.

"Procrastination is attitude's natural assassin. There's nothing so fatiguing as an uncompleted task." This is a big one for me. Still working on it.

Wisdom is knowing the right path to take...integrity is taking it.

Focus on the critical few, and not the insignificant many.

Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.

"In business, real discipline comes in saying NO to the wrong opportunities." Jim Collins

"The greatest management principle in the world is 'things that get rewarded and appreciated get done'" Michael Le Bouf

"GOALS are for the future; VALUES are for now. GOALS are set; VALUES are lived. GOALS change; VALUES are rocks that you can count on." Sheldon Bowles

Next up, I will be reading Rules of the Red Rubber Ball by Kevin Carroll

Hitting the Reset Button

2010-04-19T12:51:00.000-05:00

Today, Carrie and I starting a 4-week detox. For us, that means eliminating processed and other difficult to digest foods from our diet, including: all breads, alcohol, sweeteners, pickles, dairy products, coffee, soda, sugar, honey, and peanut butter.

So what will we eat? Lean proteins(beans, organic, cage-free, hormone-free meats), healthy fats (EVOO, coconut oil, avocado, olives), high-fiber carbs.

Today's menu so far: 3-egg omelet w/ beans, pepper & onion for breakfast and a protein shake (protein powder, fiber, & berries) for lunch.

I am also going to start hitting the Y again. Mostly cardio to start. Then, the weights.

Along with this physical reset, I am also hitting a mental and spiritual reset button. I am committed to reading my Bible daily. I am also going to be reading some form of non-fiction book, most likely self-improvement stuff. I am almost done with You Can't Send a Duck to Eagle School, which my boss gave us to read. When I'm done, I'll pass along some of my favorite quotes.

Stay tuned.

Sweetly Broken

2009-11-06T09:47:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite songs this year is Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle. And it's not just because he has the best first name ever. The lyrics give a great visual and serve as poignant reminder of what Christ did on the cross. The lyrics and a video are below. Discuss.

Jeremy Riddle - Sweetly Broken
From the album Sweetly Broken

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing

For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

Chorus:
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

Chorus:

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness

Sweetly Broken Video

Jay | MySpace Video

Six Ways to Make People Like you

2009-09-29T14:53:00.000-05:00

From Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People:

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

2. Smile.

3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Alabaster Jar

2009-08-03T08:07:00.000-05:00

A while back, Kyle and the band at Journey started singing Alabaster Jar by Gateway Worship. I don't know what it is about this song, but every time we sing it I lose it. I'll be singing and tears just start pouring down my face.

It is an interesting thing to worship while basically crying. Vulnerable is the word that comes to mind. I am a self-conscious person and wasn't really comfortable with it (as if anyone was paying attention to me). So, I tried to wipe the tears as they came. Now I embrace it. I feel like I am truly worshiping. The only thing in that moment is me praising the one true God. The One who has blessed me beyond measure. The One who sent his son to die on a cross for me and you.

As I thought more about the song and read the lyrics and the story in the Bible it is based on (Luke 7:36-50), I realized the thing I love about the song and the story is that it is about giving. This woman brought the one thing she had that was worth anything and she broke the jar and poured the perfume on Jesus feet. This was after she washed his feet with her tears.

So the question becomes, "what is my Alabaster Jar?" What do I need to bring to Jesus? I don't really know the answer right now. I know I need to figure it out and give it to God. What about you? What is your Alabaster Jar?

Alabaster Jar - Gateway Worship
This alabaster jar
is all I have of worth
I break it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
You're far more beautiful
More precious than the oil
The sum of my desires
and the fullness of my joy!

Like You spilled Your blood,
I spill my heart as an offering
to my King

Chorus
Here I am, take me
As an offering
Here I am, giving every heartbeat
For Your glory take me

The time that I have left
is all I have of worth
I lay it at Your feet, Lord
It's less than You deserve
And though I've little strength
And though my days are few,
You gave Your life for me
So, I will live my life for You

Bridge
Worthy, Worthy
You are worthy
Worthy is the Lord

1984 - Musically Speaking

2009-06-19T17:09:00.000-05:00

I recently ran across a list of albums that come out 25 years ago. That would put us in 1984. I was blown away by how many amazing albums came out that year. Some were hugely successful, while others were just ones that I personally loved. The list is below along with my thoughts on each one. I didn't put down all of the records on the list simply because I wasn't familiar enough to comment.

Bon Jovi - Bon Jovi: The album that started it all for one of the most successful bands ever. "Runaway" was the only real hit and I still love to hear it.

Twisted Sister - Stay Hungry: You couldn't turn on MTV for 20 minutes in 1984 with out seeing the awesome videos for either "We're Not Gonna Take It" or "I Wanna Rock". Straight up pop rock at it's finest and I loved it.

Hall & Oates - Big Bam Boom: Nothing great here. Just a solid pop record.

Duran Duran - Arena: Oh how I love me some Duran Duran. While this wasn't an album of all new material, it was good stuff all around.

Bryan Adams - Reckless: Bryan Adams is one of my top 5 or 10 solo artists ever. Not that there is an actual list (yet). Reckless is by far his best album. With the singles "Run to You", " Heaven", "Somebody", "Summer of '69" and the Tina Turner duet "It's only Love", I wore this tape out. Can't say enough about it.

Tina Turner - Private Dancer: Turner had widely been written off by most in the music industry when she turned out this album. I'm not a huge Turner fan, but who can resist "What's Love Got to Do with It", "Better be Good to Me" and "Private Dancer".

Madonna - Like a Virgin: Say what you want about Madonna, Like a Virgin was a tour de force that sold 10 Million copies during it's initial run and 21 Million copies all together. I was as into this album just as much as the next guy.

Van Halen - 1984: This was my first exposure to Van Halen and it has been all good ever since. Easily in my top 5 bands of all time (no official list yet either). While "Jump" was by far the most popular single, I was a bigger fan of "Panama".

Metallica - Ride the Lightning: My introduction to the music of Metallica would come several years later through the song "One" and Lightning is probably 4th on my list of favorite Metallica records. Having said that, there is no denying the musical mastery contained here. "For Whom the Bell Tolls" is top 3 on my list of favorite 'Tallica songs. Interestingly, I just read that "Creeping Death" was based on the plagues in Exodus Chapter 12.

U2 - The Unforgettable Fire: Stuck between War and The Joshua Tree, this record was, to me, a musical turning point for the band. "Pride (In the Name of Love)" is an enduring anthem of civil rights.

Bruce Springsteen - Born in the U.S.A.: The Boss at his best. One of the best top-to-bottom rock albums ever. Period.

Prince - Purple Rain: The peak of Prince's musical success, Purple Rain is, like Born in the U.S.A., is great for start to finish. With only eight songs, it has very little "fat" on it. "Let's Go Crazy" "Purple Rain" are my favorite tracks. The movie is also worth checking out.

See what I mean. A ton of great music from 1984. I'd love to get your thoughts on this list and these albums. To see the whole list that I got these from click here.

Update on My Heart Situation

2009-04-09T12:17:00.000-05:00

Before I get to the update, I wanted to take a minute to say "thank you" to everyone for their thoughts and prayers. The support has a been a bit overwhelming.

Two weeks ago, I met with Dr. Kyle Toal, a cardiac surgeon out of Norman. The surgery he recommended was a Pulmonary Autograft (also known as the Ross Procedure). There are positives and negatives for choosing this surgery over a straight valve replacement, using an artificial or tissue valve. Dr. Toal sent us to see one of the few surgeons in the United States who does the Ross Procedure, Dr Craig Elkins.

We saw Dr. Elkins last week and efter reviewing my records, he sees no need to rush into surgery (yay!). In order to get a clearer picture of what's going on in my heart, he recommended I have a Transesophageal Echocardiogram (TEE). That is scheduled for Tuesday, April 21st at 10:00 a.m.

This test will determine wether I need surgery in the near future or we monitor my situation to see if things get worse. So, it's a bit stressful. I am pretty much at peace with howver it turns out. If I have surgery, I am okay with that. During the 4-6 weeks of recovery I could write a book or just play poker online for hours on end! What concerns me is the toll it will take on my family and friends.

So, that's the story. I'll let write more when I know more. In the meantime, I feel some non-heart related blogs in my future.

If I Can Be Serious For A Minute (updated)

2009-03-15T08:32:00.000-05:00

This a bit of a long read. Please take the time to read it all.

The Back Story:
I was born with a congenital heart defect. There was something wrong with my aortic valve. The aortic valve pumps the blood in and out of the heart. When I was six years old, they replaced my vale with a pig's valve. Yes, a pig's valve. My mom tells me it was new and experimental at the time, but it should have lasted me 8-10 years. I don't remember much about the surgery. Although I do remember being in the hospital afterward.

Three years later, the valve started to calcify. Basically, it wouldn't close all the way and the outgoing blood was flowing back in. My heart was working twice as hard and the left side of my chest was very enlarged. When I was ten, I had my second open-heart surgery. They put in a metal and plastic St. Jude's Valve. Think of it as a carburetor. I am told the surgery almost came too late and they almost lost me.

I remember quite a bit about the second surgery. I missed the last month of fourth grade, which was awesome. I remember picking out which room I would be in after the surgery. They were just opening a new wing at Yale-New Haven Hospital (where I had both of my surgeries). I remember getting a big card from my classmates. I got to hang out and watch TV and lay around all day. Of course, I had no idea how serious my situation was.

They put the largest valve in that they could, hoping I wouldn't outgrow it.

The Current Situation:
I've lived the last 26 years of my life taking blood thinners and getting blood drawn on a regular basis to regulate my coagulation levels. I haven't had any major problems other than occasional problems with my blood being too thin or too thick. That is until now.

I've been trying to get in to see a new cardiologist for about six months. The main reason I was trying to get in was so I could get a clean bill of health so I could get life insurance. I finally got in a month ago. They did the standard EKG and other tests. A week and a half ago, the nurse called and said the doctor needed me to come in and talk about the results of my tests. I don't know about you but when they need you to come in and talk about it. That's never a good sign. The nurse, sensing my distress, reassured me that "it's not life-threatening or anything." Huh? Thanks.

Going in to the appointment, I really just knew that something was seriously wrong. he basically told me that there was pressure behind the valve. meaning the the blood wasn't getting through fast enough. I had out grown my valve and needed surgery to put a larger one in. I just kind of went numb for a minute. I knew it was coming, yet I couldn't believe it. As we talked for the next few minutes, I couldn't even look at my wife. I had all I could do to not lose it in front of the doctor. I've been a bit of an emotional wreck lately as it was. This put me over the top.

Where We Go From Here:
The doctor told me I needed to decide who to I want to do the surgery. Dr. Toal is the cardiothoracic surgeon from the group I see here in Norman. UPDATE - I have an appointment with Dr. Toal on March 24 @ 9:20 to go over the test results and discuss our options. After that, we'll get a second opinion, probably from Dr. John Randolph from the Oklahoma Heart Hospital. And then...surgery.

I just never imagined I would need surgery again. I just can't wrap my head around it. I don't get how I've outgrown the valve, when I haven't "grown" much in the last 10 years. Five years ago, I gained 15-20 pounds. I've had atleast two EKGs since then.

I know that God is in control of the sutuation. I know that He won't give us more than we can handle. I know they do these aortic valve replacements all the time now. I also know that anything can happen when they crack open your chest. I know that I have a wife and a son and a daughter on the way that I want to spend the rest of my life living for and with.

The song that keep popping into my head is "Praise You in the Storm" by Casting Crowns. It can be hard to praise God when things are tough and bad things are happening. The important thing to remember is that God a great God and we have been so blessed. It is easy to forget all of that when bad things happen. I vow to not let that happen.

Please pray for my family and I. That we would be at ease with what's to come. Pray for the doctors and nurses and everyone who will have a hand in this. Pray that I would be a light to them and the love of Christ would show through me. Thank you for all your support.

Interview with Owen - Mommy Questions

2009-03-06T08:04:00.000-06:00

Since turn about is fair play, here is my interview with Owen about Carrie.

Kid interview
Saturday, Feb 28, 2009
Kid Interview : Owen, 3 years old
I typed exactly what he answered....

1. What is something mom always says to you?
Relax

2. What makes mom happy?
When I turn the light on

3. What makes mom sad?
when I don't listen

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
She cleans the house

5. What was your mom like as a child?
She couldn't see

6. How old is your mom?
I don't know

7. How tall is your mom?
She's very tall, like me

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Play with me

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
She hangs out

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Cleaning

11. What is your mom really good at?
Cooking

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Talking

13. What does your mom do for his job?
Cleans

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Helicopters

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
When I give her hugs

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Race car driver

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Go to church

18. How are you and your mom the same?
We're tall

19. How are you and your mom different?
I don't know

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
She gives me kisses

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
She loves him the mostest

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to eat?
Taco Beuno

What's In A Name?

2009-03-02T20:00:00.000-06:00

Since we are having a tough time deciding/agreeing on a name, we decided to take our quandary to the masses. Please help us out by voting for your favorite name.*

*Disclaimer - We are under no obligation to use the name with the highest number of votes

27 Things You May or May Not Know About Me

2009-02-25T10:51:00.000-06:00

1. I spent 18 years of my life living in a log cabin.
2. I was a fan of pro wrestling all my life until my favorite wrestler murdered his family and committed suicide.
3. I have had open-heart surgery...twice.
4. I had a collapsed lung when I was about 10 years old while on vacation in Florida
5. I have cat-like reflexes (seriously).
6. My favorite actor is Sean Penn.
7. I like Grease 2 more than Grease.
8. I once went on a date with a girl who was born on the same day I was.
9. I thought it was fate and we would be together forever.
10. I am a hopeless romantic (after #9, I probably didn't need to mention that).
11. I spent most of my life with relatively low self-esteem.
12. I am a very emotional person. I get misty-eyed pretty regularly.
13. I didn't used to be that way and I'm not sure when I changed.
14. I became a Christian when I was in the fourth grade.
15. I didn't start living like it until I was almost 30.
16. I am from Connecticut, my wife is from Oklahoma, we met in Massachusetts.
17. I have lived in CT, WY, MA, TN, and OK.
18. I never had a drop of alcohol until I was 21.
19. I have never smoked a cigarette (unless you count trying one when I was like 9).
20. No matter how hard or how much someone hurts me, I eventually get over it.
21. I would do anything for the people I care about.
22. I get attached to people pretty quickly.
23. I have never been diagnosed with OCD, but I am pretty obsessive and compulsive about a lot of things.
24. I weighed less than 5 pounds when I was born.
25. I weighed 121 pounds from the time I was 21 until I was 32.
26. My dream job, at various times in my life include, chef, bartender, professional poker player, football player and professional wrestler.
27. My favorite comedian is Dennis Leary

Interview with Owen Dalton

2009-02-25T10:11:00.000-06:00

My wife interviewed our son about me. Enjoy!

Kid interview
Monday, Feb 23, 2009
Kid Interview : Owen, 3 years old
I typed exactly what he answered....

1. What is something dad always says to you?
Go outside

2. What makes dad happy?
A dinosaur hug

3. What makes dad sad?
When I brag

4. How does your dad make you laugh?
He uses the loud screwdriver and it makes me laugh

5. What was your dad like as a child?
A giraffe

6. How old is your dad?
I don't know

7. How tall is your dad?
This tall (puts hands above his head)

8. What is his favorite thing to do?
He loves to play with me

9. What does your dad do when you're not around?
He screws around

10. If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for?
I don't know

11. What is your dad really good at?
He's really good at sports

12. What is your dad not very good at?
He's not very good at going outside

13. What does your dad do for his job?
He buys stuff for his work

14. What is your dad's favorite food?
Salad

15. What makes you proud of your dad?
When he plays outside

16. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be?
Bear

17. What do you and your dad do together?
Just hang out

18. How are you and your dad the same?
We're tall

19. How are you and your dad different?
He's taller....no, I'M taller!

20. How do you know your dad loves you?
Because God loves us

21. What does your dad like most about your mom?
Hugs

22. Where is your dad's favorite place to go?
City Bites

Prayer Requests

2009-01-26T13:03:00.000-06:00

Not a whole lot going on lately. So, I've decided to use this space to share some prayer requests for myself and others.

Continued healing for friends of ours who lost their unborn child
For another couple we know who are trying to have another child and have had several miscarraiges
For friends who are trying to buy their first home. That God would open doors for them.
For friends who are going through tough times in their marraige. Pray they will be able to talk openly about their issues and work things out.
For a friend who is interviewing for new jobs.
For the salvation of friends of mine. That God would soften their hearts and they would be open to hearing about the Gospel. Also, that God would give me the words and confidence to speak to them about it.
For the continued health of our unborn child and it's mother.
That I would find a doctor who will see me about my ADD.
For my mother and I and healing in our relationship.

Trying To Get The Ants Out Of My Pants

2009-01-14T09:15:00.000-06:00

I was driving home on Monday and the song "Be Still" by Storyside:B came on the radio. As I listened to it and focused on the lyrics, I really felt like God was speaking to me. I'm not really good at "being still." In fact, it's really hard for me. Maybe it's the ADD or the Mad Cow, but I feel the need to always be doing something. And amid all the distractions of this world it's hard for me to keep God at the forefront. And it's easy to forget that He is always with me. When I'm going through rough times, it's difficult to remember that no matter what, He is with me and all I need to do is call on Him.

I get so caught up in trying to fix things myself or to fix myself, that I forget that He is the One who can do those things. I have tried over and over again to handle things on my own and it becomes clearer and clearer everyday that I can't do it on my own. I guess it's just our nature as independent people to want to try. But, Paul tells us in Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ, who streghtens me."

There are also many mentions in the Bible of God being with us. Here are a few:

Genesis 26:24
That night the LORD appeared to him and said, "I am the God of your father Abraham. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bless you and will increase the number of your descendants for the sake of my servant Abraham."

Genesis 28:15
I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

Jeremiah 1:8
Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

1 Corinthians 5:3
Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit.

It's comforting to know that God is with me. The key is to always remember that, shich would be a lot easier if I could just be still. I have to work on that. Here are the lyrics and a video of "Be Still."

I remember all the times
The good times and the bad
I'm still holding on to you
Some days I wanna run
And times I come undone
But I still belong to you
That's how I know that

When I feel like caving in
My heart my soul is wearing thin
I just want to give up
Nothing seems at all to add up
Can you hear me Lord?
My face is down upon the floor
It's then you whisper in my ear
Be still and know I'm here

I see a side of you my friend
The same struggles that I have
My heart goes out to you
I know it's hard to feel alone
And this world's so unforgiving
I've been feeling that way too
But I can tell you

When I feel like caving in

My heart my soul is wearing thin
I just want to give up
Nothing seems at all to add up
Can you hear me Lord?
My face is down upon the floor
It's then you whisper in my ear
Be still and know I'm here

Is that you? Is this me
It's sometimes hard to believe that
I am not alone
It's not just you And not just me
We all need to believe that
We are not alone

When I feel like caving in
My heart my soul is wearing thin
I just want to give up
Nothing seems at all to add up
I know you hear me lord.
When my face is down upon the floor
It's then you whisper in my ear

Be still and know I'm here.
We are not alone.
Be still and know I'm here.
We are not alone.

Best Album Ever

2008-12-11T15:25:00.000-06:00

Not a lot of time to write, but I have to tell you (that's right, I'm talking to you) that I may have found the best album I've ever heard. that may be a stretch, but may not. It is Kutless' Hearts of the Innocent. The first song I heard from Kutless was "Sea of Faces" back when we lived in Nashville. I liked them then, but didn't hear anything from them for awhile. I finally started hearing a bunch of songs from them when I found Air 1 here in Oklahoma.

I ended up getting their two most recent CDs, Hearts of the Innocent and To Know That You're Alive. While I like them both, H.o.t.I. is by far my favorite. I have probably listened to it 35 times so far. It's hard to pick favorites, but if I had to, I'd say the title track, Shut Me out, Winds of Change, and Million Dollar Man. It really is just a great rock album with some ballads thrown in for good measure.

I know it's odd to say that a CD you've owned for a month is your favorite of all time. But, it may very well be. To order it click here. Actually, you don't have a choice. You must go buy it now. Seriously. Go. You won't regret it. I promise. I'd love to hear what you guys think of it. so, bring the feedback!

Numbers 11

2008-12-09T08:56:00.000-06:00

The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!"

"Tell the people: 'Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The LORD heard you when you wailed, "If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!" Now the LORD will give you meat, and you will eat it. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the LORD, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying, "Why did we ever leave Egypt?" ' "

Numbers 11:4-6 and 18-20

Clark brought up this passage during the Hungry series. I found it particularly interesting. God had delivered the Israelites from captivity in Egypt and they were complaining about the FOOD. I'm not saying that manna was a delight to eat, but I'm thinking it beat being a slave.

Also interesting is how angry God got about it. God was like, "You want food? I'll give you food!" He brought quail to them and not just a few. Verse 31 says the quail was 3 feet deep for a days walk in any direction! Verse 33 tells us "But while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the Lord burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague."

So many times in my own life I have been ungrateful. God has been so good to me and my family, yet I find my self wishing for this or that, complaining about the trivial things. It's like someone who rides a bike everywhere winning a car and complaining because they don't have any gas money. Okay, not exactly. But, you get the point.

So, if our complaints anger the Lord, how much are they preventing Him from working and moving in our lives. Seems to me if we were satisfied in the Lord and all that He has done for us, it would allow/encourage God to move even more in our lives.

What Are You Hungry For?

2008-12-08T11:09:00.000-06:00

For the last several weeks at church, we've done a series called Hungry (for what matters most). The first week Clark talked about cravings and what they say about us. The second week he talked about Loving the Empty Plate, where he really got into the crux of the series: fasting. I've never fasted before, so the series was a real eye-opener for me. If you get a chance, go here and click on the box that says "I want to watch messages" and watch each of the Hungry messages. You will be glad you did.

The thing I really got from the series was this: I have never really, truly hungered for God. I'm talking about a deep-down desire to know God and to enter into His presence and to make myself wholly available to Him. I've offered up a lot of lip service, but never followed up on it. So here is my prayer: Lord, I pray that You would instill in me a burning desire to know You. I pray that I will seek You at all times through all things. I pray that I will hunger to know Your desires for me and that I would rely on You for all things. Amen.

If you're like me and want to truly know and chase after God, pray that prayer (or one like it) and allow God to be what you hunger for the most.

Quote of the Day

2008-11-24T12:21:00.000-06:00

"I find that doing of the will of God leaves me no time for disputing about His plans."
- George MacDonald

Todd Agnew posted that quote on his blog this week and I thought I would share (sharing is caring). Feel free to leave your thoughts on it.