Confessions of a Sorority Girl

Be Sure To Visit, Love Y'all

2011-11-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

I've missed my little Blogger Monsters. With that said, I've got a message for you - I've moved!
Yep, I miss writing for The Odyssey, of friggin' course, but what's the next best thing? To start a new journal of all the lessons life is trying to stubbornly hammer into me. So my new blog...hmm...well it's got a little less universal appeal (Kitty) and a whole lot more truth (Ash).
Chance By Chocolates
http://www.cbchocolates.blogspot.com

Much love to all my readers,
<3 Ash

a.k.a
...Kitty

Farewell Confessions

2011-06-01T04:18:00.000-07:00

There’s college, and then there’s not college

These confessions are a bit delayed, apologies :/

Subconsciously I’ve probably been putting them off on purpose. I haven’t wanted to write my farewell confessions…

I’ll always be a sorority girl, sure, but who wants to replace keg stands with…downward facing dog?

A position you’ll strike during the Pilates class you monotonously attend EVERY Sunday between mommy & me daycare and lunch with a coworker that you only pretend to like.

Ugh think of all the activities that inevitably will replace the wonderful college ones.

Sleeping until 2p.m. > turns into > a 5a.m. alarm complete with a morning run to Starbucks with the hope that your boss links “venti white mocha” to “early promotion.”

Strawberry poptarts > turn into > Kashi GOLEAN granola bars that are only available at Whole Foods.

Your hot 4-inch platform pumps > turn into > 2 inch closed toe, nubbin-heeled slip-ons that guarantee a self-purchased cocktail at the bar.

FYI, bring a crossword to graduation

Man there are tons of things that nobody cares to tell you about college graduation.

Lesson one, bring something to do. Mine was miserably like 3 hours long.

Various factors contributed to this. A numb rear end...an empty stomach…that of which consequently brought about images of dancing breadsticks, for I knew Carino’s Italian was the post-graduation plan.

Eager to help out my fellow Ags, here are some tips regarding the type of equipment you’ll need in order to somewhat-comfortably enjoy graduation –

a fully charged cell phone, a decorated graduation cap, and a full stomach.

These things are a must.

May I also suggest –

an inconspicuous fog horn, bucket of fried chicken or sandwich party tray , coloring book and a twelve pack of Bud Light Lime.

I'll admit, walking across the stage IS all it’s built up to be, but the before and after can be...straight blah.

However, I did craft up a little something…a trivia game, if you will. It succeeded in keeping me embarrassingly entertained. It’s called-

Yell-whoop!-for-every-person’s-name-you-hear-called-whom-you’ve-never-met-but-are-fully-aware-of-their-life-happpenings-cuz-you’re-Facebook-friends.

Avoid the dumb

Kitty’s blogging days might not end here! (Hoping a heel click just happened rather than a thank-god sigh).

Yes, I’ll no longer have a set deadline for my articles, but writing has served as a therapeutic release for me, therefore keeping up with a personal blog should be beneficial and of course fun :)

You know, statistics say that things like reading/writing/etc. each day actually stimulates/exercises the brain in a way that strengthens neural connections (or even creates new ones).

A cognitive psychologist in England found that when elderly people regularly played bingo, it helped minimize their memory loss and boost their hand-eye coordination. It seems that Bingo helps players of all ages remain mentally sharp.

“G-36. I repeat, G-36”

…ha who knew?

Life after COASG

The details of this personal blog of mine are…a bit slow going.

ONLY because I’m hoping that they sort of just unravel as I go. Honestly my first instinctual description when declaring the tone or rather the…theme of the new blog was-

“It'll be a lotta...word vomit”.

Urbandictionary.com defines this as a point in a conversation where you say something that you really didn't mean to.

…which totally sounds like something I’d “favorite” on my taskbar.

Graduation Confessions

2011-04-25T03:42:00.000-07:00

Class of 2011

Elders and their questioning...sigh.The standard graduation interrogation consists of inquiries such as

“So babygirl what’s your ideal job after you graduate college?

“Have you applied for any yet?!

“Where are you hoping to move to?”

Oddly, the one I’ve found most unsettling is

“Are you excited about graduating?!”

In my head I’m like, “Should I be? You’re old, you tell me.”

But instead I give them the answer I assume they want and say something peppy like “Counting the days!” or “Is that a trick question?!”

I’ve only been caught by one person thus far who has successfully read in-between the lines and called me out on my ambiguity. Another tally for Tim on the ol’ scoreboard.

Do I even know enough to be tossed out into the real world? I’m starting to feel nervous…QUICK list some impressive things you’ve learned over the past however-many years-

Earth has five different atmospheric layers…

dividends are portions of a company's profit paid to common and preferred shareholders…

homophones are words that sound the same but have different spellings/meanings like ant & aunt or prints & prince...

Phew, I retained something.

So, publically for the first time, my truthful answer – am I excited about graduating?!

Homophonically, “hale know”

“ity”

I always assumed that by the time my 16^th year of school rolled around I’d have thoughts like YAY! I CAN FINALLY ESCAPE! WOO NO MORE CLASS EVER!!

But nope.

I know that along with that little piece of rolled up parchment comes a bunch of things that end in “ity”

Responsibility

Maturity

Accountability

Reality

Punctuality

Vulnerability

Feasibility

Reliability

(just to name a few)

…I never thought three little letters could be so frightening.

$$$

I CAN say that I’m super excited about moving into a new apartment and decorating it in blues, greens, silvers and peacock feathers.

Also about designing my new business cards…getting a bedazzled mini card box to store them in…buying big-girl business suits where the hemline hits somewhere below the knee…

Now, I’m not exceptionally awesome at mathematics but I was able to calculate the income I'll need to be making in order to have the lifestyle I want fresh out of the A&M gates.

I’ll need to earn a minimum of $81,000 per year.

Oh dear...

better calculate the odds of that happening...
Ha umm like I said, I'm no mathematician.

More accurately, I'm no wizard :/

Fake it ‘til you make it

Yeesh. I'm nervous about this real-world business everyone’s gearing up for…

You too?
Good. Glad I’m not the only one.

I’ve prepared something to help us out though so don’t you fret :)
Here’s my little list of ways to appear smart until we get the hang of it.

1. Have good posture

At least if you sit up straight and look in different directions with one eyebrow cockily raised everyone will assume you’re too smart to even humor the conversation you secretly know nothing about.

2. Watch the news

Sounds easier than it really is. American Idol tends to trump CNN Newsroom with Don Lemon.

3. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy"

4. Talk slow

This could give off a vibe that says “I communicate slowly since I have to sift through so much knowledge in my head.”

5. Sit on a park bench with a large novel

Not your cup of tea? Try cutting a hole inside just big for enough your iPhone and get your Angry Birds on.

6. Wear glasses

7. Speak with a British accent

8. Answer questions with a quote

Q: Which societal problem plagues you the most Ashley?
A: Nancy, I say forget what we’re told, before we get too old. Show me a garden that’s bursting into life. (Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol :)

9. Carry around a solved Rubik’s cube

Things they don’t tell you in orientation

1. College makes you fat.

2. Pot-luck roommates doesn’t necessarily = positive adventure.

3. Parking lot regulations aren’t friendly suggestions.

4. You’ll study more your first semester than you did your entire high school career

5. Ride the campus buses. Students ride them. Not creepy, carless homeless people

6. In class, try and sit next to a classmate of Asian descent.

7. Bring a jacket to the library. It gets cold.

8. Your personal success is #24,003 on a professor’s list of things they have time for.

9. Check out Amazon, eBay or Textbook Solutions before you pay full price for your textbooks at the MSC Bookstore

10. Always have a scantron and #2 pencil on hand

Romance Confessions

2011-04-18T16:07:00.000-07:00

xoxo Here Goes Nothin’ xoxo

It has come to my attention that my most-read blogs happen to be the brutally honest/true ones where I put all my crap out there. Which is understandable, hence America’s love of reality television.

The relationship posts are popular…I don’t know what it is about that- well nevermind I get it. I’m also strangely fascinated with peoples’ love lives…

I go as far as adding my friend’s boyfriends/girlfriends on Facebook regardless of whether or not I’ve ever even met them in person.

It’s like a pair of salt and pepper shakers, you just feel more comfortable owning the set.

With all that said, I’ve decided to expose some romance confessions…here goes nothin'.

Wes <3

I’ve met someone. His name is Wes and he’s perfect for me.

Due to my commitment-phobe nature, making our romance public has been slow-going.

In all seriousness, the passion that we share is unlike any I’ve ever experienced. He makes me better…like in most aspects of my life.

First thing I noticed was my grades began to improve, then my mood became better and before I knew it, I had developed a lifestyle that was just all around…satisfying and productive.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we’re far from perfect. He’s clingy, we hang out sometimes until 3 or 4 in the morning which throws off my whole groove and he always has a ton of girls hanging around him :/

…but he’s my someone. The sad part is, I’m graduating this year and he’s staying in College Station - so friends, if you’ve been wondering why I’ve been sort of MIA recently, it’s because I’m spending all my time with Wes.

Side note in case you were wondering, he’s handsome! Big, bold, tall…

Oh I know, I’ll attach his personal webpage so y’all can meet him!

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/fbx/?set=a.1063285832850.2009524.1547100080#!/pages/West-Campus-Library/154917981184892

The Ex Playlist

If I’m ever feeling depressed, I have this sick habit of adding to the torment by listening to sad music in an attempt to make my sadness worse. Yeah, I don’t feel like it’s a super healthy thing either :/

I’ll just pop in Taylor Swift’s latest, get in a fetal-like position and fasten on my “bring on the pain, ugh” mentality.

Just me…my thoughts…and a bottle of wine…

ok beer.

Back me up here y’all, I know I’m not the only one who engages in this awkward activity.

My roomies have confessed to it so you might as well too HOWEVER, If you haven’t, then I’m going to give you my ex-playlist on loan.

Go ahead, get started crying your li’l heart out.

This is me putting everything out there. Embarrassing or not, I told myself that if a song ever topped my billboard bf-depression chart, I HAD to include it on my playlist for everyone to see and hopefully find comfort in for themselves and know they’re not alone. These songs reflect my thoughts over the past two years.

The following songs are inspired by four of my past flames. The two top songs are each about my two greatests’. Don’t say I didn’t include a warning label – CAUTION: do not listen if unwilling to give up your current happy thoughts.

28. Love Story – T-Swift

27. Use Somebody – Kings of Leon

26. Case of the Ex – Mya

25. Red High Heels – Kellie Pickler

24. The Truth – Jason Aldean

23. Like We Used To – Rocket to the Moon

22. Enchanted – T-Swift

21. Lips of an Angel - Hinder
20. Need You Now – Lady Antebellum

19. Paint Me a Birmingham – Tracy Lawrence

18. Love Song – Sara Bareilles

17. Blame It on the Alcohol – Jaime Foxx & T-Pain

16. The Way I Loved You – T-Swift

15. Jar of Hearts – Christina Perri

14. Breathe – T-Swift

13. Maybe – Ingrid Michaelson

12. Forever & Always (acoustic version) – T-Swift

11. Cowboy Casanova – Carrie Underwood

10. Come Pick Me Up – Randy Rogers Band

09. Should’ve Said No – T-Swift

08. Let Me – Pat Green

07. Stay - Sugarland

06. I’ll Stand By You – Carrie Underwood

05. Back To December – T-Swift

04. Love the Way You Lie – Eminem & Rihanna

03. Last Kiss – T-Swift

02. Dear John – T-Swift

01. You’re Not Sorry – T-Swift

Chili Chili Bang Bang

2011-04-10T21:43:00.000-07:00

Coppertone Goddess April 10, 2011

Chilifest 2011!! A.K.A Snook-Sandstorm ’11!

Now we all know that Mother Nature has been a bit moody this past year, but her behavior at Chilifest was kind of uncalled for.

I imagine she hangs out with friends like Santa…the Easter Bunny…Tooth Fairy…those kind of folk, and I’ll BET that this past weekend she bragged –

“Ha, watch this funny thing I can do…”

This “funny” thing she did made everybody look like we’d been dipped in a bag of sand.

She withheld ALL rain, moisture, etc. from the air which made the Chilifest grounds a giant dustbowl.

I got home Friday night and was surprised to see I had switched ethnicities. There was dirt in every crevice of my face and neck.

While normally a transformation from a pasty white female to a Coppertone goddess would please me, I couldn’t get over that for the past five hours, I'd looked as if I had tried to paint on some kind of wolf-looking mask and failed miserably.

Solo Arrival April 10, 2011

Amongst my friends, it’s considered cool to arrive Saturday at Chilifest around 11am.
Amongst Ash however, it is not.

I’m not being that unreasonable, we’d been out on the grounds Friday night too.

Consequently, me opting for a late arrival meant finding a way to Chilifest solo since the girlfrans were already there.

So I park Veronica (my Camaro) at the Hall and boarded the bus.
Sure, I was getting stares that obviously said “why’s that chick alone? She must be the weird one her friends try and avoid” but I didn’t care. Those two extra hours of sleep were worth it.

I was glad to have a seat by myself, this way I didn’t have to make small talk with a random and instead could just sit and reflect on the epic day to come.

About four miles out, intoxicated girl sitting in front of me rudely exclaimed to the bus driver-

“You’d better drive faster or I’m gonna pee on your bus!”

Noticing that we were traveling on a bit of an incline, I leaned forward, politely tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked-

“Do you mind letting me know if you really are going to pee so I can lift up my feet?”

Haley C April 10, 2011

Like I said, I arrived solo/late to Chilifest thus my first mission was to find my crew. This took a good while since I ran into numerous buddies along the way. After about 2 hours, I had yet to find my BFF Haley.

I’ve always been aware of Haley’s immense popularity, but this notion turned into fact when I realized…

Haley is the Ferris Bueller of the A&M Greek world.

I was only having trouble finding her because I hadn’t thought to ask anyone where she might be.

So...

I asked random people walking.

I asked a girl sitting in an overflowing beer cooler.

I asked an adult who was wondering around shirtless eating a turkey leg.

They were all able to tell me her most recent whereabouts.

So guess what happened in the next 6 ½ minutes?

Found her :)

College Station Resident Confessions

2011-04-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

Code Maroon March 27, 2011

We Aggies are all well-versed with the infamous “Code Maroon” alert system. This system serves as a way to inform students of local crime and crisis via text message and email. It lets us know when/where the crime/crisis happened and any minor details.

Now, I know I’m not the only who sometimes wonders…who writes these things? Some poor little staff member has to condense a large amount of serious information into a single text message.

Traditionally we get the occasional “criminal-with-weapon” alert:

Armed subject last seen near G. Bush and Wellborn Rd. Heavy black woman with sharp object.

Or the “just-to-let-you-know-there’s-a-convict-runnin-around” alert:

Prison escapee suspected in CS area, exercise caution, monitor local media, report sightings to local police 10:56AM

One of my personal favorites was an ironic alert I received while I was on a bus headed to campus:

Tornado alert. Stay indoors. Avoid campus

And of course let’s not forget everyone’s FAVORITE Code Maroon alert:

This is a test of the Code Maroon System. No action required at this time.

….which they’ll sometimes send 19 times in one day.

‘Bout time to grow up Ash? March 29, 2011

You may recall my Vegas confession regarding my purse that was stolen at a nightclub over Spring Break (sigh).

Wellll that punk-thief keeps trying to hack into my email accounts. I keep getting notifications saying that some penetrator is trying to answer my security questions in order to retrieve my password.

It makes me so. dang. mad.

My primary fear is identity theft. However this fear quickly turns to laughter because I keep picturing the Citibank commercial where that husky guy has the voice of a valley girl since he stole her identity…haha oh man it’s funny…

Ahem so - I’m like, we’re in a recession dude, good luck trying to get a credit card in my name, I’ve tried, didn’t work, its super hard. HA freakin’ HA.

He must’ve thought he was stealing from some established chick with some money in the bank! Little does he know, he picked a 22 year old who hasn’t built up any credit yet! Sucker!

Wait that’s embarrassing.

Snooze March 30, 2011

Who ever guessed that one little press of this tiny button could produce such a remarkable feeling of blissful relief? What a way to begin your day!

Unfortunately, totally ineffective if you hit it 12 times.

Battle of the frozen yogurts March 31, 2011

A popular debate in the city of College Station isn’t about the latest city ordinance or inflated gas prices, it’s about the battle of the best frozen yogurt.

All of the sudden, CS has had an influx of these yummy treat venues that are all vying for the title of most popular frozen yogurt spot. Let’s meet the contenders I find relevant:

Spoon’s Yogurt – I like the Fbook update about daily flavors
Froyoyo – ate there once for free because of a coupon…snaps for that
Red Mango – close proximity to my apartment
Happy Yogurt – they also sell Chinese dumplings…?
Yogurtland – never been but a review online says it’s just as good as Spoon’s

While I’m sure all places are quite good, I’ve named a winner and it is…drum roll please…

Red Mango!!! Yay!!!

Don’t cry fellow yogurt contenders, my only deciding factor was that Red Mango’s cherries come with their stems pre-plucked for my instant eating pleasure.

Confessions that make you go "hmmm"

2011-03-29T01:27:00.001-07:00

What you talking ‘bout Willis? March 26, 2011

Ohhh remember the days when the afternoons were spent on the front porch in your rickety rocking chair…sitting atop a seat cushion that is only still recognizable as a seat cushion because well, you’re sitting on it. And you’re in a seat…

The days you couldn’t wait to sink your hands into a big bucket of K.F.C. fried chicken…nom nom nom.

Eh I don’t remember those days either. But I did pass through neighborhoods full of ‘em everyday on my way home from jr. high school.

Welcome to Willis, TX.

The land where it’s legal to drive your tractor down main roads and celebrate fancy occasions at the local Pizza Shack.

Meanwhile in CS…it was a Tuesday night at West Campus Library and I was joined by fellow Willis-ite, Austin Kroschel - an Aggie…a Delt…overall a great guy but a more important side note, Willis High School’s Mr. WHS 2007.

Hehe…

cough anyways, in true country-bumpkin form, the following events unsurprisingly played out…

(and then were promptly uploaded onto the world wide internet)

The caption read:

This started with him asking me for scissors-

Meet Austin. Austin has a huge sword...and notebook paper that needs to be cut.
Willis-born... truly a rare breed.

Almost immediately, dozens of “likes” and funny photo comments began pouring in.

He wittily replied with “you say rare, I say resourceful”.

Finally I attempted to conclude the experience with –

“Regardless, there’s a pocket sized samurai sword less than a foot away from me”

….

-Chris Lara, Willis High School c/o '07

...typical.

www.MyEdu.com/tamu/free March 27, 2011

Did y’all do the whole pick-a-prof.com thing when it was around?

You could go online and see professor reviews and rankings…check out the grades they normally give out…gain access to all the tips and tricks former students have posted- which are helpful when hoping to ace specific assignments and tests.

Good news, that database still exists but its called something new...

Enter me! A campus representative for MyEdu.com (formerly pick-a-prof) yay!

Try your hardest to love and appreciate my attempt to nonchalantly sell you on this fabulous opportunity :)

It’s 100% FREE to join MyEdu which is AMAZING because you used to have to pay. Creating an account takes approximately 42 seconds and being a member benefits you tremendously!

So really, join because all the cool kids are doing it. Heck, all the non-cool ones are too and that should serve as greater motivation. Nerdy A+ students worship this site because of all the helpful class resources.

Now If i ever teach you anything, let it be this - do as the nerds do...for there is a reason that later in life they have a hotter spouse and bigger paycheck than you.

Sure the hard-core college nerds are often socially awkward...and always seem to have a very oily T-zone, but planting these types of people in your BFF garden is a wise idea.

You see, you reach a peaceful point in life where one can identify and understand the likelihood that Dork McSmartson’s future could very likely be super bright and even excel at a faster rate than yours.

You can already see him in a corner office…lounging in his black, leather swivel chair…
whoops he accidentally spills a few drops of his Venti Belgium Latte down the front of his white Armani collar shirt…there was just no resisting the urge to do some aimless chair twirling that only went awry because he was clumsily gawking at his Jessica Biel look-alike assistant.

Wow...pretty posh set-up.

But you know what? You’re fine. Just by being friends with him has scored you things like courtside tickets to Rockets games...an expensive watch for your birthday....
In time, you will without a doubt be amazing at what you do as well.

Until then, you know what else you can see in that posh set-up?
You.

…nearby with napkins and a Tide-to-go pen. Latte stains don’t clean themselves.

Bet HE joined MyEdu.

The squirrel community on campus March 27, 2011

"A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit"

- Carrie Bradshaw

Is anyone else ABSOLUTELY fascinated with the squirrel behavior that takes place on campus? Watching them is one of the most entertaining pastimes EVER. This is coming from someone who’s swam with stingrays, flown in a private jet, watched brothers stick entire fists in their mouth…

Exaggeration aside, I could probably sit on a campus bench and just watch them for a solid 11+ minutes. There’d be no question of whether or not I’d happily consider doing that if some student organization had the idea to sell squirrel-watching popcorn.

Basically, a campus dwelling squirrel will just be nibbling on an acorn doing his squirrel thing, meanwhile you’re purposely crossing that seven foot boundary line where they’re supposed to scurry off in order to maintain an appropriate distance away from you.

But they like, don’t scurry.

Instead, they’ll either ignore you or sometimes just peer up from their acorn and look at you with a face that seems to say “sup”.

It’s the oddest thing. I've actually almost tripped on a squirrel running fast past my feet who I’m pretty certain was in the middle of a game a tag.

Hmmm, there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.

Viva Las Vegas Confessions

2011-03-22T18:54:00.000-07:00

Las Vegas Airport

I was SO DANG EXCITED to finally be in Las Vegas for Spring Break 2011!

How excited? Wellll within 2 minutes of departure, the cowboy hat was out and I instantly busy greeting every other human I saw in the airport with a big fat “Howdy!”

What did I have to fear? I had my hot posse of girlfriends in tow who are just as obnoxious and Texas-friendly as I was.

..right?

Yea, FALSE. I didn’t realize they were a good 10 feet behind me taking pictures.

What happens in Vegas… March 18, 2011

How do we know stuff? How does a majority of the US population obtain most of their learned knowledge?

If your first thought is school, then well…that’s sweet. And cute. And entirely incorrect. The real answer is...

MOVIES. Duh.

I must say though, no movie successfully prepared me for the real-life-Vegas I experienced this past week.

I’ll lay out the broad logic I decided on-

I found there to be many truths and lies behind the famous saying-

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”.

Truths:

I blame the Australian Thunder from Down Under boys for this mishap. Their little Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy routine left my head all crazy and...incoherent.

...ahem anyways, the POINT.
In true cliché form, I embarrassingly lost my purse at a club on the last night we were there.
So yes, it’s true-

What happens in Vegas really does stay in Vegas

…including your credit cards, I.D. and cell phone.

Another unfortunate happening (that thankfully took place the day we were headed home) was when I came down with a fever. (Quit, I’m not talking about herps or anything)

So to revamp the famous Hangover movie quote in order to make it true to my specific situation-

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

…except strep throat, that s--- will come back with you”

Lie:

While friends are busy clicking away - capturing memories with their cameras, video recorders, etc, one can’t help but come to the conclusion-

Yet again, Sure- what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

….until it hits Facebook.

Incommunicado

Picture this –

The girls and I land in Vegas. Many pit stops were made while walking around the first day and pretty much all of them involved large curvy drinking cups with some sort of exotic fruit balancing on the brim that's too pretty to eat. One such stop was Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville.

Vegas tends to charge around $8589976.00 per beverage so I was purposely browsing the menu for something STRONG, for it may be the only drink I’d have for awhile.

I ended up going against the grain by ordering what was called an Incommunicado instead of a Banana-something-something Margarita like everyone else.

This was the drink description-

.5 oz Vodka
.5 oz Margaritaville® Silver Tequila
.5 oz Rum
.5 oz Triple Sec
.25 oz Gin
.25 oz Grenadine
...and a splash of cranberry juice.

Not only did I have to plug my nose like some high school amateur with every sip, but when we got up to leave I actually flipped my metal chair backwards.

Uh huh, I know. Awful. It’s not over.

The fiasco ended with a stab to a poor old woman's arm that was sitting behind me in a hot pink cabana shirt.

“Some people say that there's a woman to blame…”

sigh...guilty.

Some Ponderment Confessions

2011-03-03T22:08:00.000-08:00

Facebook Offish March 1, 2011

(fay-ss-buk O-fish); Facebook Official – the rendering of a couple’s relationship status via social media once courtship has reached a seemingly mature state.

In a relationship, when is the appropriate time to become Facebook Official?
Or reversely, when is the appropriate time to take off your status once you break-up?
Man there’s so many factors involved, much that needs to be taken into account…

After all, to some, removing their public love from Facebook is just as bad as the actual breakup :/

In the movie, “The Social Network” Mark Zuckerberg revealed that the start-up purpose FOR fbook was to see who was in a relationship and who wasn’t.

Facebook is this generation’s eHarmony.

Instead of initiating contact with your crush through a search portal, you initiate it through a strategic fbook message that sneakily asks the other person something like, “Hey, do we know each other from somewhere? I feel like we've met before...”

Or you can poke them and hope for the best.

Quote Fetish March 2, 2011

Along with cheese and shopping, I also have a quote fetish. I’ll catch myself searching for good ones online for fun sometimes…odd?
I get super excited when an actual real life friend spits out a good zinger for me to laugh at and mock later…

“I think I would annoy me if I weren’t myself” – Lauren Lucas

“I’m trying to recover from last night so I can go to happy hour” – Natalie Block

Haha.

Basically quotes are amazing and I’ve concluded that we all have a similar thought process when it comes to rating how awesome each one is to us.

Our quote ranking thoughts are as follows (in order of worst to best):

1 - Eh, it's ok
2 – Good one
3 – Yep I’ll be saying this one over and over for the next month
4 – I’m going to needlepoint this on my pillowcase
5 – This is my next fbook album title

And of course the too-good-to-be-true quotes are rewarded with the highest honor…

a spot in the quotations section of your Facebook page.

Quote Fetish Part II March 3, 2011
Every once and awhile I’ll come across a quote I don’t understand right away. This sucks when it’s a famous one because I feel like everyone is programmed to automatically comprehend those. The other day I was watching a movie and I heard

“It’s hard to see the forest through the trees”

a forest is trees though.

Ok I get it, but I’m just saying it CAN be confusing if you overthink it. It's an analogy used to express focusing too much on the details of a situation (the trees), and not being able to see the big picture (the forest). Hmm…so really it should say

“It’s hard to see the bird’s-eye view of a large forest when you’re stuck amongst the trees”

I always have to fix everything.

Next came the pondering of another famous quote

“A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush”

…what if the bird in my hand is dumb and the two birds in the bush are exceptionally good at math and science?

Stop signs on campus March 4, 2011

I have issues with crossing the street on campus at a stop sign when there is a car waiting there for you to walk across.

First of all, the car has been waiting at the stop sign for like 7 minutes but can’t move due to the never-ending clumps of students walking by at a class change.

I’ll be approaching a crosswalk and of course I’ve already noticed the car that’s become somewhat of a temporary fixture in the middle of the road. This is when I begin stressfully questioning the actions that are about to play out.

…if I walk slower that car will go ahead and go so I don’t have to worry about crossing the street in a hurry.

…they’ll hate me if I cross…oh gosh I bet they’re getting super impatient, I should let them go since they probably wanna strangle a squirrel right about now.

Or I’ll stop and give them the hand wave to “go ahead and go” but then they give it back to me…

now what started as a friendly gesture has turned into an annoying/stubborn game of “NO I said YOU GO!”

This is a prime example of my uncontrollable need to please people. It’s as if I don’t want this stranger who I’ll never see again to be mad at me…like I want them to go home that night and say, “an angel in Victoria Secret sweatpants let me cross a busy street today. She saw my impatience and delivered me from evil.”

I’ve got to get new goals.

Etiquette Confessions

2011-02-22T20:21:00.000-08:00

Generation Y in house slippers February 19, 2011
Modern day manners are lacking, this is no secret. Eat with your mouth closed, no burping in public, elbows off the table…easy right?
Sure, however these universally known practices aren’t fun to discuss. I’m referring to the wearing of house slippers in public, cell phone use during meals, inability to follow through on commitments…

The majority of Generation Y is lazy, unreliable and gosh I hate to say it but a lot of the time disrespectful--crap hold on, my professor is saying something I might need to pay attention to…
…
nah nevermind already missed the beginning, no use trying to catch up now.
Now what was I saying?

Oh right, manners.

Let’s use my neighbors as exhibit A. Those inconsiderate little punks would always park in my parking spot.

My complex designates 4 parking spaces for each of its four residents. Typically I’m always the last one home so it's MY spot that get invaded with whats-his-face's vehicle. ugh.
I’d already partook in all Manners 101 had taught me - had the awkward confrontations...then moved on to the threatening...roommates threw a few drunken slurs at them on occasion...but the fools still had NO parking fear!

Needless to say, their fate was sealed. A tow truck was in their near future.
They uh…weren’t happy. I know this because of both the tension and pesky little reminders they sometimes leave me and my Rooms.

Today we were greeted by a half-eaten, miniature buffalo wing strategically located in the center of our welcome mat.

Break-up Etiquette February 20, 2011
Here’s the scenario:
You’re no longer Mrs. Frat due to irreconcilable college differences. You and Mr. Frat have called it quits and as luck would have it, his fraternity is throwing a huge bash and all your friends are planning to attend.

Well…cool.

What about you? Is it still cool to show up? Who gets custody of the friends? What’s the proper break-up etiquette when you don’t want to be left out, but also don’t want to appear desperate?

The immediate repercussions when hit with this predicament are usually-
“Psh he can’t control what I do. I’m not going for him anyway, I’ll do what I please. No one else will be focused on the fact we just broke up”

…and other things of that nature.

Time to get real –
you catch a glimpse of him grinding all up on
girl-whose-been-trying-to-get-with-him-since-forever.

Huh, you may just find yourself…oh I dunno…
center dance floor pouring ALL the remaining contents of your beverage down the front of hussy's dress while screaming words at her you’ve only ever heard on the Jersey Shore.

What I’m trying to stress is, be mature. If you feel there’s a chance you could end up being THAT girl--
the one thrown out of the bar left with nothing but a few of homegirl’s hair extensions intertwined between your fingers--
then well...you might want to ponder that “not attending” button on the fbook invite a little while longer.

All I’m sayin.

The Accidental Text February 21, 2011
You send this text to a friend – “Okk I’ll come just tell me where y’all are”
Harmless right?
Nope, not in the slightest – you’ve mistakenly sent this text message to your ex boyfriend whom you haven’t spoken to in months.

Was this the result of a mass text gone wrong? Was his name similar to the intended recipient’s name making your phonebook the one to blame?

Doesn’t matter. It’s done. Over. You’ll forever wonder if he thinks you sent the text as a desperate attempt to contact him.

Unless he texts back.

Let’s make the plotline dramatic and interesting and assume he’s got a girlfriend.
She fires back something like-
“Get your own boyfriend b----“.

Whoa. Without hesitation you reply-
“Well naturally, seeing how I’ve already run through yours”

Kidding, you don’t send that. Mama taught you better.
Matter of fact, at that moment, mama’s voice begins to fill your brain with some of life’s lessons you were taught as a kid, “take the high road, if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all…”

Girlfriend must not fully grasp those concepts yet…or worse, never learned them because for some reason she never made it through an entire showing of Disney’s Bambi?

Ok, ok, I’m being unfair, I mean I’m certainly no angel.
When applying this scenario to my own life, my honest first thought about being hounded by the girlfriend of my ex over a “purposeful” yet accidental text message would’ve been-

She’s silly to think that after all this time I’d even dream of purposely sending him a text like that…

mainly because I’d of come up with something wayyy better.

I Survived Valentine's Day Confessions

2011-02-16T01:44:00.000-08:00

My mobile app saved my life February 15, 2011
Surviving Valentine’s Day turned out to be somewhat easy. Realized there's no need to get all girly and emotional. Cry? What's that? I know I don’t need a man to dote on me and monitor--giggle--my every--giggle--move--Hahahaha(breath)hahaaaa
Oh man sorry hehe...

Thought I could rock that fake little empowerment speech without cracking but...nah. Saw that going differently in my head is all...woo..geez ok where was I?
OH YES, umm actually an easier V-day was made possible - compliments a la HeyTell.

Sending a HeyTell allows you to send your voice as a text message instead of an actual written text.

Have you ever sent a txt and in turn, confusingly received a haughty reply back? It's easy for a recipient to mistake your casual “text tone” for a rude one.

I’ve mentioned this to people before and for some reason they're slow to absorb my concept.

So quick example >> you send the word “sure”. Did you mean…Peppy-Cheerleader sure! or Sarcastic-Sally surrre?

See what I mean?

HeyTell allows you to verbalize your text message thus eliminating the universal thought of, “did she mean that like I think she meant that?”

The existence of HeyTell provides my friends and I with a portal to discuss suicidal thoughts brought on by Valentine's Day. Our worry-worthy statements pass as entertaining when heard through HeyTell. We sound straight psychotic when statements are viewed as a text. My first V-day HeyTell message came from Emily.

Em:

“Happy f------ Valentine’s day! I just went to Tiki Tan for the first time in like a year, did the high pressure bed…uh don’t do that if you aren’t already tan. Literally can’t feel my a--”

Me:

"So your a--, which clearly resembles the shape of a heart, is now red...and here I was thinking you wouldn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day at all this year"

Em:

“Yes Ashley that is exactly what I was going for”

(few minutes pass)

"Now tell me the plan. Are we going to Natalie’s house for a glass of wine or two or nine?”
----------------------
Lauren’s HeyTell message soon followed. The nature of her's was more complex. (Please note: the crude, CAPS LOCK outbursts depict random song lyrics from Chris Brown’s “Deuces”)

Lauren:

“So I’m lucky I don’t have anything sharp near me, might find me dead on my—MOVIN’ ON TO SOMETHIN BETTA...YOU MADE ME WANNA SAY BUH BYE—that’s what we need to say to all of our ex bf’s—HATE LIARS, F--- LOVE I’M TIRED OF TRYIN–I needed to tell you my special verse…since umm…it’s that special day today”

Then kinda dumbfoundedly and a little like a child who knew very few words I replied:

…

“Cool. Pulling into Spec’s”

Science behind the status February 15, 2011
I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day. However, experiencing this holiday solo = loving it a little less.

Regardless, the fact still remains - I'm a sucker for romance - THAT MEANS, I’m not at such a level of disgust that I can justify staying inside all day moping...wishing I was Cupid. (Cupid has arrows. Arrows can shoot happy people from bedroom windows)

I end up being forced to humor what I know is taking place all around me.
Flower deliveries…dinner reservations…lingerie purchases…sappy Facebook status updates…

Its instances such as these that I try to…make my mouth do that thing it does. You know, when I’m supposed to like, show joy…be joyous…content…gosh what is it…

oh yea…

smile.

There’s a science behind status updating, fyi. Ever wonder about why you feel compelled to “like” certain ones?

For example, do you find yourself “liking” the sarcastic, funny ones?
“Attack life, you’ll never get out alive anyways”

…or perhaps the excited ones always baring good news?
“I love sunny days!! So glad no more cold weather!!”

…maybe even the infamous song-lyric ones that expose your current mood/vulnerable state? (which let's face it, we humans feel it necessary to broadcast depressing love lyrics when we're sad and lonely)
“I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe”

On V-day I can always expect my news feed to be littered with sweet bf/gf praises…date night details…generic pet names like sweetheart and baby…
blah.
blah.
blajshdbarfwrylovefrddruitstinksjh.

I never feel compelled to "like" any of those. Shocking.

Doctor Kitty Burns, MD February 15, 2011
In celebration of my extra special Valentine’s Day edition of Confessions of a Sorority Girl, Kitty Burns has agreed to participate in some Q&A, woot woot!

Kitty is an expert at good relationships. Whoops typo, bad ones.
I'll go ahead and provide some of her background info with the hope you'll kinda trust her advice - - been in 3 serious relationships (1 yr, 5 yr, 1 yr), been in love once, heart crapped on twice and…
enjoys pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

K, Let’s begin!

1)Kitty, what is your pet peeve when it comes to dating?

Being naïve. Don't get me wrong, I have MANY flaws, but because of my cynicism I rarely fall victim to this (thanks dad?) Girls and guys both can buy into these one-liners, don’t be one of them! Here's what I mean-

“He says he’s too intimidated by me”
If he can tell you he’s intimidated by you, he’s not intimidated by you.

“He just got out of a relationship a couple months ago” Months he says? Unless he was the dumpee and needs grieve time, he’s letting you down nicely. I mean c’mon, doesn't an entire season of The Bachelor go down in like a week?

“He's afraid to get hurt again”
Haha what, did his last girlfriend stab him?

“I can see a future for us, just not right now”
A future implies long-term. Long term COULD mean forever. You have to be pretty dang amazing to qualify as someone’s forever. People don’t let go of someone they deem the catch of all catches.

2)What do you do when your crush is already in a relationship?

Seems you have 2 options:
Team Homewrecker (say you get your way, he ends up yours. He slipped once, you trust he won’t do it again?)

Team Girlfriend (who remember, has a cheating doucher for a boyfriend)

Haha gotcha, obviously a trick question. The correct answer is
Team MoveOnFromThatSorryPiece. He’ll never be what you need. But uhh, what would I know…

3)What if you feel like your crush is always rejecting your social invitations?

Ha, this is a good one. Let me paint ya a little picture – it’s the end of the date, girl asks Romeo to come in for a second and check out the glorious balcony view she raved about over dinner. He says “Oh babe I wish I could but with work tomorrow...I really should get home”.
Oh so many possible factors/excuses…what to think, what to think…

(Hint) If a guy wants to come in…HE’LL COME IN.

Moral of story = those dreaded 6 little words...

he's. just. not. THAT. into. you.

Super Bowl Confessions

2011-02-11T02:05:00.000-08:00

United we wonder February 7, 2011
I never feel more bonded to my fellow Americans than on Super Bowl Sunday.
No, not because we all gather together to celebrate our shared love for NFL football and potato chips.
But good guess.

Me, along with others like me, appreciate the Super Bowl for uniting all Americans through our inability to read Roman numerals.

Funny story- this year was Super Bowl 45, and I know this because I recently learned to read Roman numerals in order to pay respect to my Roman heritage.

I know you know I googled it.

Wanna pretend to watch the game? February 7, 2011
How ‘bout them Packers huh? I don’t have a favorite NFL team, so typically I’ll root for either-

A)The team the hottest guy in the room wants to lose (this is me forming a cute rivalry with the hope he’ll ask for a rematch…preferably at Olive Garden)

B)The team with the prettiest color scheme

C)The underdogs

This year however, I didn’t end up playing cheerleader for either team. Here’s why-

A) I, along with my present company, were all pretty football-illiterate

B) Packer’s/Steeler’s colors both blow

C) Like I said, due to the high degree of football-illiteracy surrounding me, knowledge about football team rankings was hazy.
For some it was nonexistent. For me it’s buried deep inside my brain cuddling up next to high school geometry.

I’m thinkin’ from now on our Super Bowl invite might as well be – hey wanna get together and pretend to watch the game?

Pat on the back for Hawk February 8, 2011
I happened to catch an interview that Green Bay linebacker, A.J. Hawk, was doing with ESPN and I’ve got to say - he must be great at dodging severe hits to the head.

Not only did he seem very well spoken and not nervous in the slightest, but it surprised me to hear a pro sports jock use words like “microcosm” and “adversely.”

So crap…I’m guilty of stereotyping. Another one bites the dust.
Secretly though, I uhh…kind of feel entitled when it comes to typecasting because I’m blonde (a.k.a. ultimate stereotype victim). It’s like, since I’m in the club I can say what I want? Mmmm…might need to ponder that philosophy awhile longer :/

With that said, I commend you A.J. Hawk. Keep fighting the good fight against stereotypes. I can only hope that your intellectual nature rubs off onto those who---

Yeah no I still don’t buy it, sorry just can’t. He’s got to have word-of-the-day toilet paper or something.

Aguilera Flubs National Anthem February 8, 2011
It’s true, Texas-native Christina Aguilera messed up the lyrics during the National Anthem prior to the Super Bowl. She sang “what so proudly we watched” when it should’ve been, “o’er the ramparts we watched.”

Needless to say, people weren’t thrilled and the mishap even sparked some crowd booing.

Let’s try and level with ‘ol Christina for a sec - I don’t have doubts that she didn’t practice enough or that she hates the U.S. or whatever other stories the media conjures up.

Y’all, it’s a hard song.
Sounds silly, but for some reason the order of the words throughout the song can get confusing. A lot of parts sound very similar. I’m just sayin.

Also, nerves have got to play a part when performing live in front of…oh I don’t know, A BILLION PEOPLE. Sorry haters, I guess I’m Team Christina. Oh you disagree? Think your opinion is better than mine? Getting a little upset and judgmental of others are we? Think it’s inexcusable to not have studied and know every detail regarding the National Anthem?
Okay you know what? You may be right. FINE. WHATEVER...
Quick question- what’s a rampart?

Boo ya.

Social Scene Confessions

2011-02-07T15:59:00.000-08:00

Knockouts Grill House January 30, 2011
Perhaps you’ve caught wind of the new hotspot everyone’s been talking about? Formerly Bodega Coast, this new place called Knockouts is rumored to be a happy hour paradise. To me, anywhere equipped with those torpedo-looking beer taps is certifiably super/awesome/cool.

I’ve heard it’s supposed give off a Hooter’s-like vibe but I felt the server’s umm…shirts weren’t small enough for me to really feel the resemblance.
I was there the other night and got two vodka sprites for only like $4. (holla)

Unfortunately, a friend of mine wasn’t as lucky. He uploaded a picture of his receipt to Facebook, his total at only 10pm was $115.

…welp, I take it back. Maybe the server’s shirts fit just fine.

Facebook Check-ins February 1, 2011
I’ve been getting better acquainted with the whole Facebook check-in phenomenon and I’ve got to say- totally fun. Checking-in via fbook enables you to broadcast your exact location the moment you arrive somewhere. Instantly you can see if anyone else you know is there too. There’s even access to a map that leads right to you.

Ha, I’m thinking about what my dad would say-

“Great! Just in case knowing your full name, current city, place of residence and your entire family tree isn’t enough, they can now FIND YOU WHENEVER/WHEREVER”.

And I thought the “poke” button was creepy.

Fraternity/Sorority Abbreviations February 3, 2011
I’m curious, who decides how fraternities and sororities names get abbreviated?
Let’s play a game called ‘How ‘bout instead…”

Current Name *** How ‘bout instead... *** Thoughts------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beta Theta Pi(Beta) *** B Theta P *** if seen written, I think of BP the oil company
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sigma Phi Epsilon(Sig Ep)*** Sig Phep *** eh, most ppl would probably pronounce it ‘pep’ instead of ‘fep’
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pi Kappa Alpha(PIKES) *** PiKa pAl *** motto could be, pick me I’ll be your pal :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pi Beta Phi(Pi Phi) *** PB Phi *** nah, I immediately think peanut butter jelly phi
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delta Gamma(DG) *** D Gam *** sounds pretty thug
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chi Omega(Chi-O) *** OMG *** hey cool
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kappa Kappa Gamma(Kappa) *** K Kappa Gam *** nah, sounds like you’re agreeing with them

Open Bar Bliss February 6, 2011
I traveled to Austin, TX this weekend to watch my Little (sorority abbreviation for little sis) tie the knot. She went through recruitment as a sophomore so she’s my age AND graduated early so she gets to start playing big-girl sooner than normal.

I knew, of course, the Fanning-Hart wedding would be fabulous but a different level of epic occurred thanks to the genius who invented the concept of an “open bar”. All I can say is that with a ballroom full of college students they might as well call it an “empty bar”.

Dreading that Ruthie regrets sending invites to her fellow sorority sisters, this is the comment I felt super necessary be left on her fbook wall a.s.a.p. -

Hello there Mrs. Hart :D just a few things-

1. Your wedding was a freaking blast

2. Umm apparently sporadically through the night I was being either obnoxiously loud and crazy, or crying...thus making ppl real uncomfortable

3.You made the most beautiful bride

4.Apologies to the rest of your guests for the being "that table". I felt like we embodied the behavior that makes for good people watching :/

5.Have a great time in Cabo! I love you much!!

Texas is Cold Confessions

2011-02-02T20:13:00.000-08:00

Coupons Complete Me January 25, 2011
LOVING the little campus coupon books that one business fraternity gives out at the start of every semester. Went to Pita Pit today…guess who got $1 off her southwest chicken wrap with the purchase of a medium fountain drink?!?!

Worry-Wart January 26, 2011
Mama B called today with concerns, a normal occurrence. She likes to inform me about the latest College Station crime.

She bought me a pink pouch for my key chain that’s supposed to slyly disguise mace spray. Sure, good idea, until I attempt to actually use it during the intense moment and fail miserably because the intricate pouch snap AND bottle lock prohibits me from doing so.

I can picture myself stranded in the parking lot post-mug, purseless, sitting alone in a pot hole with a baby can of mace spray that NOW is open and ready to spray...

She stresses things like the importance of my health, because I could die from bacterial meningitis or H1N1 at any time.
To put her at ease I falsely fret about petty, yet true things. I’m like “mom, I was walking to class last week and got ran over by a bicycle. Let’s focus on that”.

The Harrington Strip January 27, 2011
The Harrington Strip – stretch of sidewalk to and from the Harrington building (HECC) that is always occupied by ruthless campaigners.

Are you among the many who avoid walking down the strip because you don’t want to humor the flier passer-outers? I love observing the tactics people use in hopes of fending them off. You may be thinking, oh just take the dang flier it’s easier. However sometimes they want to have a 15 minute conversation with you and it annoys me when they fail to acknowledge my obvious let-me-get-out-of-here eyes.

Successful or not, here’s some ways to avoid the paper fury-

-Stick in your iPod headphones

-Quickly whip out your cell phone and start busily texting. Tip: don’t start talking on it like you’re on a fake call, it could start ringing while you have it up to your ear.

-Pretend to speak a different language.

-Put on sunglasses to avoid eye contact, this usually causes them to not even try and talk to you at all.

-Run and start yelling “they’re after me!”

Antarctica Weather in Texas January 28, 2011
Okay guys, I’ve about had enough of this. We go from 80 degrees one day to 21 degrees the next. Not only do I dread losing the feeling in my ears and nose but I pretty much hate looking like an abominable snowman.
I wore 4 layers of shirts today. Four. I live in Texas. This is ridiculous.

Who pissed off Mother Nature?
Whoever you are, I have one word for you-

APOLOGIZE.

Image Commitment January 29, 2011
Like I said, the weather here in CS is God-awful-cold, but once inside the classroom there are heaters (hallelujah). It gets pretty toasty and as I was looking around in ALED 481 I noticed that pretty much everyone had shed their coats, gloves, etc.

Except for this one girl who had taken off her gloves, sweater and jacket but oddly still had on this ear-muff beanie thing that was an obvious winter accessory. It was made of knit material and had three huge pink knitted flowers on it that were sort of…poking out off the hat…like a “come smell me” invite or something.

After wondering for a few minutes about why she hadn’t taken off the seemingly hot hat I realized, homegirl would rather have a sweaty head than unleash her hat hair.

Props. That’s some serious image commitment.

New Year Confessions

2011-01-23T13:13:00.000-08:00

Look better naked January 15, 2011
To this day, the catchiest billboard I’ve ever seen was one advertising Gold’s Gym. In HUGE bright, bold, yellow letters it read “Look better naked”.

Hilarious. Probably because it’s dead-on. It’s one of those truths that everyone thinks about but never says out loud. Hahaha man I just love those.

The Gym-Dedication Meter January 15, 2011
New Year’s resolution = weight loss. Duh. Isn’t it everyone’s?

What typically tends to happen is for approx. one week the gym-dedication-meter reads the words
“full-force”

On the second week the meter reads
“strong”.
Uh oh, commitment is beginning to dwindle…NOW what’s the meter read?!

Who cares. You’ve probably already eaten the meter.
Actually, you feel fine. You’ve succeeded in convincing yourself that opening and closing the pantry door IS a legitimate workout.

Don’t worry, you’ll get a Victoria’s Secret catalogue in the mail soon thus causing you to tear out a page with the hottest model on it and tape it to the front of your fridge. This tactic allows you to muster up the last little bit of motivation necessary to get you back in the gym the week before spring break.

ENDS 101 Professor January 18, 2011
Today I had my first ENDS 101 class and...well…it was interestingly weird. My professor lectured, that’s normal…spoke with a Colombian accent, that’s not. Hmm the whole thing was just very odd.
…

Oh did I mention he never got off his segway scooter?

Don’t make me do stuff, its syllabus week January 19, 2011
First day of spring classes and EVERY dang one has lasted the entire time! Ugh! Gimmie my syllabus and call it a day man. Made it to my senior year and NOW college wants to interfere with my social life??

Please.

Athlete-Astronomy Theory January 19, 2011
Today I noticed that there are athletes in a couple of my classes. I always giggle to myself when thinking about my athlete-astronomy similarity theory.
The theory states that sometimes athletes…well, they’re a lot like solar eclipses.

You see them the first day of class and then you don’t for a while.

22 years old. Cool. January 20, 2011

My 22nd birthday is in seven days. Since I’ve already conquered the most popular milestone (turning 21), are there anymore left? From here on out do all birthday cards have the word “old” printed somewhere on them?

Oh gosh…why God…why me…no…

WAIT! If you’re 21 you can rent a car BUT still have to pay a fee for being under 25.

Phew.

Singles Awareness Day January 21, 2011

Apart from making greeting cards and chocolate boxes feel like superstars, Valentine’s Day is also a day of reflection.
Reflection on things like love, hugs, kisses, romance, snuggles, pity, remorse, self-doubt…

Wait what?

Yes, single people often view February 14th as more of a “Singles Awareness Day” rather than a lovey-dove-wuv day.
But hey, what better way to wallow in self-pity than on a couch date with Mr. Hershey Chocolate and his friend Mr. Giant Bag O’sweettarts?

V-day Gift Ultimatum January 21, 2011
If I could only choose one gift for Valentine’s Day what would it be?

A ruby ring…a cute stuffed animal I’ll later name Fluffy…a couples massage…a poem written and read by your bf…

JACKPOT.

While all other options are super, there’s nothing like an embarrassing, yet sensitive sonnet that you’ll later post on Fbook to supply everyone with priceless/hilarious harassment for forever and EVER AND EVER.

Muahahahaaaa classic.

Birfday Month Confessions

2011-01-23T13:09:00.000-08:00

Hey Santa, do you know Michael Kors? January 9, 2011
This year when the imminent question came from mama or daddy-
“what would you like for Christmas Pumpkin?”

TAMU sorority girls replied in unison-
“a gold oversized Michael Kors watch please”

This trend was spottable on girl’s wrists BEFORE the holidays, so come first week of classes I’m expecting a whole army of gold MK watch wear-ers to be sporting their new swag.

I’d like one, but when Mama Burns was approached with the subject I got this –
“sure angel, if you don’t mind the watch being your only gift…along with some Hello Kitty band-aids I already bought for your stocking.

Humph.

Turns out these suckers range from $195-$495. I had my heart set on a gold/beige acrylic one for $300. Apparently the North Pole lacks the climate to support trees that grow money.

On a brighter note - I am loving the gold jewelry comeback. Pairing my gold Aggie ring with all my silver jewelry makes me feel fashionably uncomfortable. Like wearing a brown belt with black shoes.

Out with the Old, In with the Sparkle January 10, 2011
The first sorority meetings of 2011 are next week and EVERYONE knows what to expect. Okay I’ll give you 3 hints:

1. It sparkles
2. It sometimes makes single girls want to dig a deep hole and sit in it
3. It rhymes with shmemgagement

You guessed it! The engagement season was just recently upon us and now it’s time to see the bling it birthed.
Upon return from the holidays at least one ring pass, if not multiple, is expected.

In a nut shell, a “ring pass” is what happens when a chapter member gets engaged, passes her ring around for all to see, then tells the story of how she got engaged.

I’d like to take a sec to recognize that as an independent, single college female I can proudly/non-bitterly say that the whole wedding bliss umm thing is wonderful…really, a beautiful thing. SO happy for the couples…very excited…just loving the love…so excited...happy beautiful...

..

K I uh gotta go, I’m late for my therapy, I mean jam session with Taylor Swift

Bikini Déjà Vu January 12, 2011
The girls and I decided on Vegas for our LAST SPRING BREAK AS IRRESPONSIBLE COLLEGE STUDENTS! (tear).
Haha juuust kidding :)

So, what does this mean?
The hunt for the hottest bikini has officially begun!

Now, every girl is quick to type victoriassecret.com into their URL box but ladies, I’m going to go ahead and advise against this (quit pouting like you don’t already own 6+ VS swimsuits).
Do I have anything against VS? Of course not, I love their crap. Turns out, the 23 hot blondes on my same beach ALSO like their crap.

It’s true, bikini déjà vu isn’t as bad as say, dress déjà vu but nobody hopes for it and I’ll tell you why (the awful truth). Well…homegirl rocking your same neon pink two-piece might just be…rocking it a little harder than you are.
THIS ISN’T OKAY.

It’s okay, breathe, don’t dwell on past mistakes.
I’ve compiled a solution list of other bikini-shopping worthy sites to help you on your quest to be the next exclusively hot beach babe.

Nordstrom.com * Venus.com * Bestswimwear.com * Beachbliss.com * Shopbop.com * Macys.com Beachbunnyswimwear.com * Couturecandy.com * Sauvageswimwear.com * Swimspot.com Anthropologie.com * Instyleswimwear.com * Ujena.com

Welcome :)

‘Get-Girls-On-Your-Chilifest-Team’ Tactics January 13, 2011
Every year fraternities compete in persuading girls to buy tickets with their Chilifest team. Here are some things we consider…
(From least to most effective)

5. Reputation of visual appeal – pretty tent, pretty girls?
4. Closed-in build – a tent that’s enclosed by walls is appealing to minors
3. Free stuff with ticket purchase – t-shirts are a favorite
2. Food – quickest way to earn a girl’s attention is through her stomach
1. Cheap tickets – why I usually go with SAE

Just sayin.

Fratastic Confessions

2011-01-23T13:04:00.000-08:00

Frat vs. Sorority Girl Spending November 19, 2010
Fattire can be expensive, and with Christmas soon approaching I’ve found myself wondering, who spends more? A frat-dad or a sorority girl? I’ve compiled a list to help figure it out. Here’s the basics-

Sorority Wardrobe:
Sperry Top Siders $79.95
Leggings $9.99
Nike Shorts $28
Stretchy headband $2.50
Sorority PR shirt $12
Northface fleece $165
Short Sleeve Columbia Shirt $40
Jon Hart Back-pack $126
Classic David Yurman Bracelet $525
__________________________________+______________
$988.44

Frat-dad Wardrobe:
Sperry Top Siders $84.95
Ralph Lauren Khaki Shorts $59
Wrangler Jeans $33.97
Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt $75
Short Sleeve Columbia Shirt $45
Northface fleece $170
Carhartt Jacket $95
Costa Del Mar Sunglasses $179
Croakies – compliments of a fun-loving sorority girl
_________________________________+______________
$741.92

Geez…

Thanks Visa?

Concerned ‘Rents November 20, 2010
Parents of potential high school rushees, both girls and boys, are known for sometimes calling in and asking questions. I’ve gotten inquiries such as-

“Does joining a sorority make for a smooth transition from high school?” –Why yes. I found it much easier to make many friends in such a short period of time.

"Is it difficult balancing school work and fraternity engagements?” – Not at all. Every Greek organization’s first and foremost priority is academics.

“What is the reason for the red solo cups all grouped in a triangle?” - …

T-Swift November 21, 2010

Do you ever feel like Taylor Swift sort of…narrates your life sometimes? Like she just hovers above you writing down your life’s intimate details?

yea me too…

Is Logan’s the new Corner Bar? November 22, 2010

Corner Bar is kind of a distant memory for me. I used to always spend the majority of my Northgate nights at Corner and ALWAYS end the night there but now, Logan’s seems to be the new Greek-going hotspot. True, I am 21 now which means getting into a 21 and up bar is easier (notice how I said easier, not impossible) so I guess that’s the reason?

I only question this because I remember even at Corner seeing people that were 21 still there…which means they weren’t at Logan’s. Truth be told, even though the popcorn is stale most the time it still makes for one heck of an attraction. Which reminds me, I’ve been meaning to apologize to the Logan’s staff by saying-

“Sorry for the popcorn all over the floor. It’s much more fun throwing it into people’s mouths than placing it inside your own.”

Typical Lex November 23, 2010

Ughhh why didn’t I have my wisdom teeth pulled in high school like everyone else?? I’m back home recovering in Willis, Texas looking like a chipmunk missing all the almost-end-of-the-semester festivities.

I just text Lexie a picture of my face all swollen and she responded with “hahaha! The fat app!”

:/

Greek Life Confessions

2011-01-23T12:58:00.000-08:00

Once Upon A Rush November 15, 2010

As a freshman, I didn’t know what to expect on my first day of recruitment. All I knew is that I wanted every human I came into contact with that day to think at least one of the following:

1. She’s adorable
2. I’m in love
3. Gotta have this chick back tomorrow

Needless to say I was ready to impress.
Or at least fake it long enough to have my pick of any house 

K so I’m standing in alphabetical order, waiting to go into my first house. ZTA, I remember.
While I wait I begin looking around, observing my surroundings.

Gamma Phi house looks new...
Why one random frat house on this street…must’ve won a contest or something…
I wonder if these big yard letters are heavy…
Did that girl mean to wear those shoes…

AND THERE IT WAS.

My first time experiencing a female in Sperry Top-Siders.

“There must be some explanation” I remember thinking.
I had only ever seen these shoes on grandpas and my boyfriend’s dad. I didn’t know what was going on.
At the time I had no idea these funny-looking boat shoes sold for 80 bucks a pair.
More thoughts involuntarily followed:

“Out of all the hand-me-down shoes in the world why those?”
“Quit judging people you don’t know, It’s not her fault she’s poor and was forced to wear her dad’s shoes!”

During my intense reasoning I happened to also notice the shoes the girl behind me had on. Sperrys. Girl in front of me, Sperrys. Rho Gamma, Sperrys.
I suddenly found myself on Sperry Island. My Aggie foam flip-flops no longer seemed as cool.
Why had I not seen this trend until now??? They're so ugly where do you even buy them?!! Are they required?!! Why are they so masculine?!! I MUST HAVE THEM NOW!!

Wait what?

Fratdaddy:Sorority Girl Ratio November 16, 2010
Sometimes I see the most gorgeous girls with funny lookin frat guys. Do they want a New Orleans invite that bad?
..
Hehe. Joke. Only kiddin.

…kinda
Ahem on that note, I happen to know that college campuses everywhere are actually confessing that the girl/guy student ratio is noticeably uneven. Turns out there are way more female college students than male.
Unfortunate cause and effect here = college guys aren’t committing to serious relationships. With a line of beautiful girls to woo, why would they?

In TAMU’s case, a girl probably feels she must be everything Mr. Frat wants/needs in order to beat out the fierce competition, but what happens in the end? She finds herself alone, shaking it on a speaker at Daisy Dukes because she’s bummed that her supposed to be boyfriend developed an on-to-the-next-one-cuz-there’s-plenty-more-where-that-came-from mentality. All the relationship power is in their possession. Ew.

Guys are like…Democrats and we’re like Republicans…who’ve lost the majority vote, been stripped of power, THROWN FROM OUR SEATS. INTO THE DARK. NO FLASHLIGHT. IT’S COLD..AND…and…

Take a breath ash.

Facebook Fairy November 17, 2010
(fay-ss-buk- fair-ee) noun – social website regulator whose job is to uphold sorority reputation by notifying member of unsanctified habits and putting an end to such habits anonymously.

What does Halloween mean? Costumes! Yay fun! (But not too much fun).
Following the Halloween season we all are reminded to please refrain from posting any pictures that are, for lack of a better phrase, slutty in nature.
Eh, actually not “for lack of a better phrase”. I very well could’ve thought of a better phrase but “slutty in nature” seems to perfectly sum it up.

Sororities don’t want to claim the girl pictured in a sequent bra and floofy petty-coat skirt that purposely falls ½ an inch below the danger zone. However, if you do happen to get caught, you’ll soon find in your inbox a message from the your sorority’s Facebook Fairy kindly suggesting to not post pictures you wouldn’t want your grandparents to see.

I mean really, have the audacity to cover up your risqué business and not cause everyone else to question their perception of morals and values.

..or you can visit your account settings, create and save a friend list of select people, then block them from various albums ;)

Cell Phone Reality November 17, 2010

Some Cell Phone Nuisances:
1. Cracked screen (iphone tendency)
2. Drunk texting
3. Not having your phonebook backed up (hence the “lost all my numbers” fbook group invite)
4. Water un-resistant (via cup, toilet, puddle, pool, etc)
5. Butt and/or purse dialing
6. Leaving it at the bar

Some Cell Phone Awesomes:
1. Apps
2. Internet access (such as during class and other instances of the like)
3. Drunk texting
4. Ringtones that help you to characterize people you’ve just met (simple ex: meet seemingly shy/innocent girl > her blackberry rings > it's Baby Got Back)
5. Fun covers
6. Calculator

Greek Life Confuse-atorium November 18, 2010
What could have been the sickest party to ever grace Rudder Auditorium, instead ended up going on as planned – a Greek Life Moratorium meeting at 7pm today. My expectations were left hugely unmatched in that I was ready for some big informative lecture about how we Greeks are out of control and all the precautions we’re planning to take. Not really even knowing what all provoked this in the first place, I found myself leaving the meeting disappointed and confused because no one acknowledged any specifics as to why we were even there.

Is it perhaps safety? That seems to be a legitimate reason to call an emergency meeting.Okay I'll respect that. No person, Greek or not, should engage in ANY hazardous activity (hazing, excessive binge drinking, illegal drugs, etc) if there’s even the slightest chance of death or serious injury.

Is it dangers such as these that are the problem at hand? Not having done a lot a research on the matter, simply because I was waiting to hear it straight from the source’s mouth at this meeting rather than from circulating rumors, I feel like maybe these are the issues that needed addressing?

Being a change agent is hard. Seriously…I mean, did you know that among some of the top things that people fear, change is among them?

My suggestion is this - someone should’ve hit the audience with some harsh reality. There’s no better way to make a person understand something than to relate to them personally. Perhaps painting a very realistic picture could put things in some serious perspective for a student, especially one who can link it to certain dangers they have found their own selves in. Yes this is hard, especially for the tellers of tragic stories, but I’m willing to bet that nothing would satisfy a victim more than the re-telling of his/her story in the hopes of saving lives. This may have been the case for c/o ’91 Aggie grad Will Oliver. He could have gone down this path but chose instead to just briefly touch on his experience with his roommate and how he died in an accidental drowning - and this is ok of course, but tugging at a person’s emotional strings can hit close to home and a lot of the time, inspire change. Change…the whole point here right?

“Tonight is supposed to be a new beginning”

Don’t tell us that. A new beginning implies that there is no past. The past is what defines this situation. What is change if we don’t have an existing platform to observe, acknowledge and learn from?

Enough lecturing. The important thing is that now we know to join the Association of Former Greeks and continue to donate money once we graduate.

My First Confessions

2011-01-23T12:52:00.000-08:00

Sorority Seasons November 2, 2010
I can’t believe how quick this semester is moving. November already? To be honest I was oblivious to the weather change until I came across a picture on Facebook of a cell phone screen with text messages on it that read:

Northface season has arrived. TFM

Hahahahahaha. With nike shorts -TSM

Good call…

Spotted: black northface + vibrant colored nike shorts…culprit…sorority girl

Gotta love stereotypes.

Haha ohh social norms…

Walking Billboards November 3, 2010
Yea I get it. Wearing my greek letters is the equivalent of being a walking billboard. Promoting your sorority or fraternity via frattire is sort of an unsaid yet highly acknowledged thought when you’re getting dressed and you know you’re going to be around a lot of other Greeks. West Campus Library is a sea of walking billboards. There’s not one table from my cubby view that isn’t occupied by at least one sitting billboard.

I sound judge-y.
I’m not judge-y.

If I was I’d be a hypocrite. Just now I was hurrying out my apartment with my A&M book bag in tow and subliminally swapped it real quick for one with my sorority letters plastered huge on the front. Conform much?

Sigh.

The SB Top 3 November 8, 2010
Is it me or is TAMU’s spring break destination choice variation at an all time low? I only hear about people going to what’s known as The SB Top 3: South Padre Island, Panama City Beach or Gulf Shores, Alabama. Greeksters usually round up their greek siblings and rent a beach house all the while always sporting at least one of the following fashions; a neon fanny pack, neon koozie, plastic neon sunglasses, a neon-lettered tank top or a neon trucker hat.

Huh, Chilifest déjà vu.

Gulf Shores, Alabama 2010...

Panama City Beach, Florida 2009...

South Padre Island, Texas 2008...

Last SB I actually sold my neon hat to some random dude who offered $20 for it while on a beach in Panama.

What about Vegas…bet a hats worth more than $20 in Vegas…hmm

Language Shmanguage November 9, 2010
Greeks are getting bored with traditional English language. I mean I guess. The minute four letter words start whittling down to three letters…well, one realizes that creative boredom has struck.

For example, Fraternity Bid Day 2008 was when I was first exposed to the term “presh”. I believe a girl said something like, “omg girl that’s presh!” (catch the omg? Exhibit A). It seems silly NOW because I’m aware that she was shortening the word “precious”, however at the time, wtf? (Exhibit B) Even with me resorting to using my best context clues, I still could not decide on a meaning for presh.

Did she maybe mean fresh?
Does she know she’s saying whatever word she’s trying to say wrong?

After learning the meaning and later seeing it written as a caption on Facebook, I found that it’s most commonly spelled p-r-e-s-h.
Um that’s not how you spell precious. I don’t feel dumb now for being confused. Ha!
But I get it. Correctly abbreviating it would be prec. And well…yea…wouldn’t work :/

Abbre. November 9, 2010
Now I’m all interested and intrigued by this abbreviation business. I’m predicting right HERE, right NOW that by the year 2023 the average sentence will appear as follows:

Hy grl cn’t w8 2 prty like rkstrs all ^ & arund NG!!! Yay txt me!

Translation:
Hey Girl can’t wait to party like rock stars all up and around Northgate!!! Yay, text me!

...sorry Webster, I still dig your stuff.