Toronto Raptors Ramblings

These Ramblings are Dead Ted

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 04:09:00 +0000

Thanks for reading for the past couple of years. It's been fun ranting, raving and rambling.

And if I had only one wish this Holiday Season it would be that all of the children of the world could come together and hold hands for world peace.

But if I had two wishes...the second would be that surgically repaired left knees, groins and D-Leaguers could all come together and hold court in one magical April to Title Run.

If you are going to bother to dream....dream big.

The Experiment is Over

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 02:09:00 +0000

So Bosh isn't happy that Mitchell tried to work in some new offences and defences the day before the game. Fair enough. Given this squad struggles to execute the same plan we've had for 82 games it's reasonable to assume it's going to be tough going to pick something else up over night, oh ya, on the eve of being asked to just magically 'turn it around'.

WEIRD SCIENCE
But Raptors faithful, let's focus on the real issue. The experiment is over. The ego tailoring has got to end now. Get Jose Calderone back up to 35 minutes a game! Is it that simple? Could it be? Maybe.

Jose is a fine guy, willing to come off the bench and not take it personally. Willing to even say it publically. But I don't care. And nor should Mitchell, you or anybody else. It's clear as day he's the better player, the team plays better with him and he needs more minutes. I think we've show cased Ford enough to trade him, don't you? If Jose is playing 35 he kills the Magic not only with his ability to get other guys going but to get into a rhythm himself. And if he can't find it, oh my god, he wouldn't...could you imagine...he might actually not force it?! Whoa pinch me i'm dreaming.

Getting Ford off the floor might help as much as getting Jose on it. And while in this magical scenario of Mitchell making the obvious move sure I still dream. I dream that it all comes together like we know it can. I dream that TJ comes off the bench and has a few 27 point 'they can't guard him' moments that boosts his stock and allows us to dump him in the off-season for something decent. But remember....i'm a dreamer.

RANDOM EXPERIMENT OF THE YEAR
Speaking of experiments, how is the A-Barg starting? How angry am I? Did I warn you this post was actually going to be a rant filled with unaswered questions? And it's not like i expected to actually win game 1 in Orlando, but I never anticipated that kind of decimation or defiance of logic. Bargnani starting, really? How did this come about again?

Loose Explanation from Mitchell
"hey he hasn't played well in months I'm right here, i see that. But those are stats man. And where you all are writing that he's got no confidence and seems to show a complete indifference to all of this, I see resilience. Do you remember last year in the playoffs? Man he stepped it up. I like him on defence too. Sometimes you got a gut feel and you go with it!"

Based on that you gotta cut Mitchy some slack. Or do you say 'hey, he hasn't had that mojo in 3 months...or is it a full year now?" Resting our hopes on Bargnani getting hot is insane. Worrying that we're going to lose on Turk-o-Glue's post game, inane. And speaking of Defence Having Kapono and other wing men sloughing into no man's land on defence is inexcusable. Don't double the post guy, but don't cover your guy. Just make sure he can easily pass it back out to an open guy or you can get close enough to reach in. Could we try and make them work for it?

And speaking of working for it, can the former coach of the year dust off his trophy, open his ears and backup into the obvious move here? Please.

The one move that may save his job, my sanity and this series is the Ford Pine Hybrid. You'll never be happier than when it's parked in your garage.

Rasho hoodies it up in Yorkville

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 21:00:00 +0000

Bumped into Rasho, Primoz, Nutbar and some random at ONE, an overpriced-dejour-cougar outlet in Yorkville. Nice place, but really you are best to go there with a group unless you are

a) Rich and looking for some seriously made up ladies
b) A made up lady looking for a rich dude

Rasho and the boys stood out like sore thumbs. Made me realize that you just don't want to be 7 feet tall.

Playoff Raptors Predictions
It's no secret that we REALLY need to finish 6th to have any chance of a first round playoff victory. And i'm not even talking about a series.

The Good News: We own the series with Philly 3-1, so all we need to do is tie them. Our final two games are against Miami and Chicago so a 2-0 streak heading into the playoffs is not out of reach. Plus Philly has to play Cleveland so 1-1 could do it.

The Bad News: We totally stink. While we are 'hoping' to play the Magic it's not as if we've dominated them. The Magic haven't played great as of late (wait..that sounds like good news)...but then again we have completely fallen apart.

Actual Prediction:
-Raptors finish up 1-1, and end up 6th
-Bosh goes nuts in the playoffs and takes the Magic to the final game
-Raps can't get it done in final game and it's a first round and out

I'm off to the Heat game on Monday....although i'm not sure why. I think it'll be fun to watch true tanking before the NBA changes the rules for blowing a season by hiring an ABA team to take over. Kind of like seeing Havana before the end of Castro.

YOUR MIAMI HEAT!

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:35:00 +0000

The Heat are so bad the coach can skip games to go recruit and not even take any flack. Wow. Riley just started to challenge Isiah for most useless bench boss around.

My last post was about trouble looming in TJ / Raptor paradise and one month later I have to re-emerge to right the ship. Is drubbing the Heat by 40 righting the ship...not at all. But it's better than losing.

Question: Name 3 Heat who played against us last night? Go ahead, I dare you. I only watched the first Q but that was enough. It was like one of those "Do you think Carleton University could play with a Division 1 top tier team" questions and stick around.

game note: Bargnani as Hannibal Lecter was fairly awesome. Anytime you can make Rip Hamilton look good in his mask, it's time to talk to the mask doctor.

Who's Running This Ship?

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 03:26:00 +0000

Does that look like a reasonable way to try and ice a game, up 3 with 22 seconds to go?

Does that look like I got so upset during this play I had to rewind it, pause it, and take a picture of my television set? (p.s. this turns into a finger role in about .03 seconds...a long, long, finger role).

Maybe you would feel better knowing TJ had missed 3, 2nd half, 1 on 3 layups and was 6-14 at the time?

But that's TJ. He's working his way back in by hoisting up more shots than anyone on the team. He played more minutes than Calderone (who was mostly invisible) and he did what TJ does down the stretch. Hold the ball for TJ time.

I'm officially concerned. Mitchell has got to get TJ working with the system. And when he does it will be a beautiful thing. But the last 3 minutes of the game if TJ and Jose are both in, let me suggest Jose at the 1, and TJ at the 2.

Bosh has clearly established himself, and I mean really finally established himself as the man. Not just on the Raptors but in the NBA he is now one of those guys. And we're going to see it this spring. I can feel it. But keep in mind this all happened in TJ's absence. It was a great growing experience and Jose's style of running our team was one of the key pieces. i.e. hey Bosh, it's your team.

I'm not suggesting TJ's return isn't good. It's great. We don't need him to finish 4th or 5th and have a competitive first round. But if we want to win in the playoffs we need all of the help we can get, and you can't buy his quickness. He runs the pick and roll by driving by dudes and dishing it backwards over his head. You love that guy. You hate that guy. But he's not the floor general that Jose is. Here's hoping Sam can figure out how to make this work.

Note: Great work by Carlos Delfino tonight....attaboy Delfino, knocking down 6-7 from long range.

Calderone Looking on and wondering....really Tee-Jay. A finger role from just inside the foul line has a 22% chance of going in...I think this is a bad plan....but i like you anyways.

Quick Update: Have Toronto Sports writers stopped watching the games? Doug Smith and the guy from Canoe.ca are all "oh TJ is back baby!". Huh? I think they meant 'back to his old tricks'. Doug Smith blames DELFINO for almost 'blowing the game' with his charge down the stretch? Now that's a stretch.

Not Exactly a Primo Move

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 18:15:00 +0000

Juan Dixon out. Useless 7 footer in.
Listening to Sherm Hamilton and his sidekick talk about having 3 'True 7 Footers' was amazingly comical. 3 True 7 Footers? Bargnani should frame that quote.
Although Brezec was a fantasy darling about 3 years ago he has since gotten lost faster than Oceanic Flight 815.

So what is Colangelo thinking? Is he thinking Brezec is better than Hump (who already doesn't get enough minutes) or Rasho? Is he thinking T.J. is so healthy that between him and Darrick Martin why bother keeping the only other guy who can sort of play point? In my mind while this trade was mostly useless, Detroit just upgraded Flip Murray (17 minutes a game) and we just downgraded our backup point guard. Can't understand this move in the least. If we play the Pistons in the post season it gets even more annoying.

Image: Primoz (and Raptor nation) taking it

Carlos Delfino: Not a backup point guard

Maybe that explains why they were trying to run Delfino at point guard against the Magic for a bit. Wow, was that ever a disaster! While he didn't do all that much wrong on the stat sheet, if you watched the game, Delfino is not a point guard. He just doesn't have the handle or the ability to handle pressure with a quick, smart decision. Repeat: Carlos Delfino plays the point like I play the fiddle. So in summary our backup point guard situation actually managed to just get worse.

Pau Gasol - Love him not
Did you watch the Shaq Daddy's debut the other night? It was your typical Suns game, where they somehow keep hanging in there but lose to a Western Foe. Shaq looked okay, showed some misplaced bursts of energy (diving for loose ball he had no shot at, sprinting down the court after a goaltending call) but what i really discovered after this game is THANK GOD WE DIDN'T LAND GASOL.

I'll apologize in advance to Garbo and Jose, but what a freaking whiner that guy is. I can't tell you how much I hate players like that. I had no idea he was this giant baby. On one play he just chucked the ball out of bounds (obviously thinking Fish was going to cut to the ball). Immediately after, he doesn't!!!! give him the 'my bad' signal but the 'where were you, you were supposed to be there!*!!' signal. He whined and moaned on so many plays I grew to hate him over the course of one game. Done. Glad we don't have him. Sure the Lakers might be a favourite now but they certainly aren't stocking up on players I like. GO SUNS!

February 2008 : Go Time

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 22:11:00 +0000

You rarely hear a sound like the one that kept coming out at the ACC last night. It's a hybrid between a painful "moan-ugh" and an admiring "woah".

That's the sound the ACC made over and over last night as Kobe dismantled us with dunks, crazy fadeaways and moves so smooth they make silk seem like sandpaper.

Unlike the 'ugh-moan-sigh-boo' combo you'll hear against San Antonio, when you get dismantled with such style, there is a certain amount of props that must be given up. A certain amount of awe for what you are witnessing. Raptors fans passion for winning colliding with the amazement that somebody is that good.

So despite 25 cm of snow yesterday 18,500 packed the ACC and the cheapest scalped tickets still sold for $100. As Kobe said "I only get here once a year, so i like to put on a good show".

(Game note: last night we looked like the wimpiest team in the league. After 9 Kobe dunks you'd think somebody would foul him hard...but nope. Not a one. Where was Humphries when we need him?).

The February March
So we're 0-1 in Feb but still looking at a potential 9-3 month. If the Raps can focus on taking care of business against the bottom feeders we have a shot at moving towards .600 and a 50 win pace. This is the month to do it. With a cake walk schedule, 8 home games and hopefuly a chipped on his shoulder Calderone, it's time for the rise of the Raptors....or another quick exit from the playoffs.

SNUBLERONED

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:12:00 +0000

EASTER CONFERENCE ALL-STARS ARE SET

The East (*fan vote)

Jason Kidd*
Dwyane Wade*
LeBron James*
Kevin Garnett*
Dwight Howard*
Chauncey Billups
Chris Bosh
Caron Butler
Richard Hamilton
Antawn Jamison
Joe Johnson!
Paul Pierce

Joe Johnson: PLEASE! This team is in permanent disaray with no shortage of talent. The 'young' factor has run dry. Joey's had some big games but ain't no way he should be on this team. And don't tell me he's "more entertaining". These games work when there are sweet point guards throwing quality oops, and swanky passes.

Tale of the Tape

Jose numbers as a starter - 31 games

WHAT AM I MISSING?!
I get that Joe is a shooting guard, but that's irrelevant, coaches could vote for any position. Is it his big time scoring? He's shooting 40% this year, down from 47% last year.
That alone should disqualify him. A 7% drop in shooting percentage! On a better team!?

And it's not like this is Jason Kidd, where he's getting in on the fans 'traditional' vote or a coaches sympathy vote. Nor are we talking about an out of this world personable guy who you just need to have there (Shaq). And it's certainly not like he has that much flair. It's almost as if they've done this just to see how enraged Raptormaniacs can get.

Sadly we're all too passive and think, oh maybe Jose isn't that good yet. People...Jose Calderone has shown he's a top flight PG in this league...what you might call an all-star (at least in the East). Colangelo is already on record saying 'we're going to keep him' despite having an 8 million dollar guard on the books and Mitchell has already said TJ is the backup when he returns. Plus how about watching the games! Jose is CLUTCH! My point? Make a stink. Get Jose on the snub lists so coaches might actually wake up.

My only theory is this: The coaches thought they had to take a SG because they didn't read the instructions. They thought 'hey let's get a real hucker in this game who shoots 40% from the field and 35% from downtown. The fans will looooove that."

The only solace is with Kidd about to head West you can bet that next year Jose should, one year too late, make the All-Star leap.

Tommy Likey: Anything can Happen

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 02:43:00 +0000

Last year the Raptors took off in January en route to a great year and what looked to be a building block for this year. Last year we had a good excuse for sucking early, a brutal Western road schedule, a truck load of new dudes and question marks all over the place. But that was last year. And we pulled it off. So the question is can we do it again with a team that just doesn't look so good?

I say yes. Why can't we turn this thing around? Isn't it possible that we'll be looking back at today's Double OT victory as the season's TSN turning point? I feel like Moon's 4 point foul at the end of regulation could have taken us in one of two directions.

Direction 1 - Trainwrecktown, a.k.a. Spearsville, where we get angry, and self implode by blaming everyone, partying away our effort and finally ending up locked in a bathroom with our kids for 3 hours before being wheeled out half naked on a stretcher into an awaiting amublance before getting a visit from Dr. Phil telling us we need help.

Direction 2 - Goodnessville
There is hope behind door #2. Bosh seems to have suddenly come back to life being as aggressive as we've ever seen. Parker is asserting himself on O. Moon is turning into a defensive powerhouse. Jose is already everyone's favourite no turnover 'write in' all-star. Even Carlos is settling into a role I can handle. And 3 straight, even vs. only one good team, is still 3 straight.

Now with Detroit and Boston on the docket along with a all of a sudden not super Crappy Hawks team you may still be thinking ".500-ville'. Fair enough but......

But Strangers Things Have Happened. Just this weekend I saw a J-Love Hewitt Bumload of evidence that anything can happen.

For example, would you believe me if I told you Chris Farley has been resurected in the form of a 3 year old girl? Probably not. I haven't seen her fall through a table, do a pile of drugs or show off her fat belly, but this photo speaks for itself.

And while waiting to see the new Daniel Day Lewis movie There Will be Blood (7.1 out of 10) I'm almost positive I saw an add that suggests SlyStallone pulled Rambo out of his coffin, retired him to Thailand as a Zen like Snake trainer and he's going to save an entire Village from a very bad man.

I'm equally as certain that Eli, and not Peyton Manning is actually moving on in the NFL Playoffs.

And what about the first full page "blow this whole Leafs team up" article in the Globe? (The surprise of course being it took this long to publish the annual story).

Still not convinced?

Think about it like this. We sneak out a win vs. either Detroit or Boston and beat the duds. We hit February with a little bounce in our stride. Moon wins the Dunk contest, Jose gets a coaches vote-in as does Bosh. We dominte the weekend and February features Miami once and Indiana, Minnesota and New York TWICE EACH!

.620 to Goodnessville
It could happen. But for a .620 run we need a few other things to happen. Bargnani will likely have to do something other than suck, and the bench will have to follow his lead. T.J. has to come back and compliment what Jose is doing. And of course Bosh (as if in Response to his 1 rebound game) has to continue to dominate.

But is any of that so far fetched? Why not root for that, instead of anticipating a ho hum year. It's Winter, a.k.a. Raptors time. Like Favre in a snowstorm. So take that Colangelo in the Tunnel look of stone death off your face and let's prepare for a glorious run, cause it's clear to me that anything can happen.

Toronto's All-Stars: A Legend in the Making (not who you think)

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 03:31:00 +0000

I'm going to lay it down right now. Bosh said coming into the year he wanted to average 12 rebounds. Tonight he averaged 1.

That is straight up wrong. So wrong it got me thinking 'how bad is that for a guy who wants to be a dominant power forward and an all-star?' Well a quick scroll through Tim Duncan's game logs should help ease my mind....one rebound game, hmmm...2007/08 (nope)...2006/07 (nope)...2005/06 (nope)... 2004/05 (eureka!). Duncan nabbed 1 rebound in a 110-101 loss to Detroit!
Game note: Duncan logged 2 minutes that game.

Here's the point, if it needs to be made, Bosh has to wax and shimmy that glass each and every night. There are no nights off for the Tim Duncan's of the world. None.
Wax. Shimmy. Shine. Repeat.

While we won the game, I think we've shown this encounter as an example of what not to do.

Meanwhile in true All-Starville resides our main man Jose Calderone. I've ranted about his Assist to TO ratio but J. Hollinger bested me once more with his damn stat machine and some crazy thing he came up with called the "Pure Point Rating Leader". Which I like.

Two reasons. One the name suggests it's pure and true baby. That it weeds out the stuff you don't see. Secondly Calderone would be the all-time Assist to TO leader if the season ended today....beating out the legendary Mugsy Bogues. On the other hand it's Nash and C Paul who are right behind Jose in the PPR Leader category.
(I'm confident Hollinger was about to talk Ass/TO ratio and like me looked up all-time leaders only to find he needed to invent a better stat in case someone said 'who's the all-time best'?).

In his article you'll find a nice little piece about Jose, especially the "Vince Carter is eating his dust" bit. Way to suck up to Canadian readers JH. We'll take it.

Rookie Land / Dunk Content - A true legend....Toronto wise
The legend of Moon is about to go full in Toronto and not because he'll be our second straight old timer rookie at the game (oh Garbo where have you gone). And not because he's a top 3 player on our team. But because he's about to become the first Raptor to win the Dunk contest since Vince Carter. Yup. You read it here first. Moon played for the Harlem Globetrotters. You think he might have worked on a dunk or two? Moon has the smile, the creativity and is gaining the confidence. The stuff he's doing is games is nothing. Repeat: nothing.

Moon wins the dunk contest. One more notch in Vince Carter's Raptor post is removed. And a legend is born.

(you tube video working sporadically...but if you haven't seen Moon dunk you likely aren't reading this blog)

All Star Voting: Easier than Cow Tipping

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 01:16:00 +0000

Greetings and a happy 2008 to all. My hiatus in Rio and Buenos Aires was as predicted, a rollicking good time, and I came back to an equally predictable Raptors .500 fest. I did get to see the sweet San Antonio spanking and no, I don't care that Barry and Manu were missing. It still counts, especially in S.A.

On to bigger Matters: Cow Tipping
At www.chris-bosh.com and now all across our fine Internet you can find a little home made video of Bosh petitioning for All-Star votes, a la Texan salesman. Fantastic. The video itself is surpsingly not painful, and innocently funny enough, especially for CB4, his best acting yet. But in this day and age (i.e. Yao Ming will be on the team till he retires) If the media won't give you the coverage, and your supporting country is too small to vote you in, then take it to the hole strong.

Vote here, and vote often: http://www.nba.com/allstar2008/asb/eng/ballot.html

Bosh goes all Boss Hogg on you and you have to admire his gusto. Next year half the guys in the league will be doing this, and then they'll start to get really funny for a year or two, and then the NBA will panick that it ruins the 'integrity of the game' (a great joke in itself) and then they'll ban self promotion so fans will start to make the videos, which will be even better. You can set your watch by this. It's happening. (In fact, we could fast track this entire plan by making some videos next year....).

I mean, just how random is voting anyways.....

My East All-Stars

Bosh: He's an all-star and a Raptor
Nani: He's a Raptor and a future all-star
Parker: He's a Raptor and a shoe in in Tel-Aviv (where are the write in votes?)
Ford: He's a Raptor, was playing all-staresque till injury and looks like Tiger Woods, who is definitely an all-star
Howard: He's insane

My West All-Stars

Marion: He's on my fantasy team and needed a confidence boost
Duncan: I don't like the guys lack of personality or how they refer to him as an "International" player. He's the least international, International guy in the league. I mean the U.S. took over the damn Island in 1917, they all have U.S. citizenship and it's called the U.S. Virgin Islands. Then again, I'm not sure Parker and Manu are really THAT great.
Bryant: Wearing spandex under the short shorts almost cost him my vote...but damnit, that's Kobe Bryant.
Nash: A Candian All-Star
Camby: A former Raptor we would have loved the past 5 years.

So there it is, voting is no science. It's not the best players, it's the most popular players, the home team players, the rando players and the Vince Carters who somehow hang onto what should be long lost fame. For God's sake, let's write in Jose! (I'm voting again tomorrow).

So Vote now. Vote often (or once a day). As Bosh has told me, It's easier than cow tipping.

Free Falling - Save us Gunner Nation (5.7)

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 19:54:00 +0000

I wanna glide down over mulholland i wanna write her name in the sky. I'm gonna free fall out into nothin', gonna leave this world for a while.

Raptors Ramblings recent hiatus can't be explained but my next two weeks are South America bound. After watching the Raps / Celtics game last night I feel the timing is about right. They are heading into an awful stretch of games without Bosh and bargNani and I'd likely just get extremely angry over the upcoming .500 fest...and that's if we are lucky.

Last night's game is not even worth analyzing. But I have been meaning to write a quick diddy about some stats you should know.

The Raptors Can Shoot
Shocking, no? Does it matter that you are 2nd in the league in FT% (by a wide margin) when you are last in getting to the line? Nope, but it tells you something. You don't need to be McGyver or even McClovin to figure out that FT's are a cheap (read: very wise) way to stay in games when your shots aren't falling.

Speaking of shot's not falling, how come we don't shoot more 3's?
You probably just shat yourself. But look at our gunners. It's Gunner Nation in Toronto. I'm dead serious. If you can't rebound anyways (Delfino and Moon have really started to change this), then let's do two things. Let's get to the line by driving...and I don't count driving sideways through the lane and launching up rainbow floaters (Joey Delfino) and let's get more open Three's (note: driving to the hoop may actually result in more open three's).

Gunner Nation - NBA Leaders in 3 Point %

Kapono - 2nd - 52%
Parker - 6th - 49%
B-Nani - 14th - 45%
Delfino - 16th - 44%

Even Calderone is shooting 43% (not enough attempts to qualify). We are shooting 44% as a freaking team, leading the NBA by a mile!

To put this in perspective, what do you think when i say "Pam Anderson"? Boobs. Right? Of course. And when i say "Booo", of course you think Vince. So what do you think when i say Ray Allen? Shooter. Right? (maybe this year you think 'stupid freaking Celtics taking over our damn division' but work with me here) traditionally you think shooter. Well he shoots a career 40% from long range. Enough said. We can shoot.

Obviously Jacking 3's isn't going to solve all our problems, and is eerily reminiscent of those good old huckfest losing days, but we've never had a team that could hit them so well.

Recent memory's best team was '04 - 05's
Mo 38%
Marshall 41%
Alston 36%
Vince 32%
Bonner 42%

Team 37% (with 20+ attempts per game)

So while you are saying 'buckle down on rebounds' and 'tighten up the D'...sure yeah. That's all key. But let's take advantage of what we've got working, and right now that's downtown Judy Brown baby.

One more stat for fun
Have you seen our passing numbers? Calderone and Ford are 9th and 13th in assist per game (formerly 8th but TJ injury hurt) and Calderone's assist to to ratio is one of the sickest numbers not talked about in the NBA. 5.7! Are you kidding me? 5.7? When John Stockton led the league in assists (most ever in a season) he was at 3.9, which was sick. If you are over 4, you are insane (this only counts if you get lots of assists incidentally). I just thought you should know this. Everytime you see Ford whip a pass off a cutting Rasho's chest for a turnover two feet to early it's magnified by the fact you rarely see Calzone do this.

Garbo Update --> Surgery Next Week? Apparently.

Dumbest Comment of the week by someone who knows hit shit --> Doug Smith explaining we won't be playing TJ as an underzied two-guard like Barbosa, Terry etc. because we like our two headed monster. That's fine and all but ah...Doug...how about the fact that TJ can't hit three's? You can't be an undersized two who can't shoot 3's unless you are Allen Iverson.

Had to get one last rant in. It's vacation time.

See you around Christmas.

Grizz vs. Raps preview?

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 04:28:00 +0000

A Preview?
As you know I’m not a ‘preview’ type of writer, especially for an upcoming game vs. Memphis. But when a guy named Chip Crain emails you from Memphis HQ to pass along his assessment of the game and tell you why he is famous…you are almost forced to reply.

Chip Crain. What a name. I was so sure this must be stolen from a movie I Googled him…but it’s just him. Famous old Chip Crain. (note: don't be confused with Charles Kane, Beverly Hills Gun Club...that name pales in comparison).

So, Chip Crain, here is that link to your preview for our Raps faithful as well as a few nuggets of protest and observation.

Raps Overview
We won’t take offence to Chip Crain not knowing we are 7-7, much like he won’t mind seeing a ‘c’ in the word offence.

Grizzlies:
Really, you still go by the name Grizzlies? I mean I won’t lie, I enjoy the images of Big Country that the name conjures up, but how did that happen? It wasn’t exactly the Lakers who were moving here, we’re talking about a perennial loser. Does Chip Crain have the answer….time will tell.

(note: Check out the home made "BC 50" arm band!)

Point Guard: Former Raptor vs. Three Fingers
Mighty Mouse! You sure bring back some good memories little buddy. But the sun is setting on the Little Cheese and Calderone (our backup PG) is on the rise. And not in a Kyle Lowry kind of way, but in a 9 assists, low turnover, hit big shots, floor general kind of way. Too bad he may be playing somewhere else next year.

Power Forward: How does Chip Crain not know that our starting Power Forward is Chris Bosh? I feel like that must be in there just as a tester for us. It’s possible he was simply confused because Bargnani is redefining the location of the centre position, foregoing the traditional ‘rebounding’ role and taking up shop 29 feet from the rim. Fair enough, we’ll give you a pass on this one (FYI - Nani, Nesterovic and even Baston fill in at centre).

Benches: Chip claims we don’t have toughness off the bench. But compared to what? We just don’t have much toughness period, not really our game. But the bench is not our problem. The fact that we still don’t have a starting lineup…well that’s a problem. Our lineup du jour features Moon as a starter but you should recognize this is Mitchell’s annual starters try-out camp which runs until early December. So stay tuned….the real Raptors lineup will be sorted out soon and you will see a very deep team on the rise.

Chip Crain vs. Me: The Big Interviews
Well Chip Crain is famous for his interview with Grizz GM Chris Wallace. I couldn't actually track it down, but could it be as good as my interview with Joey Graham (scroll way down)? I mean the guy refered to himself in the third person while the VIP made him completely ride it!? Then Uros Slokar basically said...well i stll can't say it. But needless to say those interviews did nothing for my fame. So the fame edge goes to Chip Crain but I'll take me and the Raptors 1 on 1 at a party anyday.

ON A SERIOUS RAPTORS NOTE: GARBO UDPATE
Chip, if you haven't read about the Garbo behind the scenes information check out a few posts ago. We shared the Spanish NBA connection after all. But 'news' that the Raptors doctors think Garbo needs surgery isn't exactly 'news'. It's a nice reminder that his Spanish insurance policy comes up soon and they are back to their pre-worlds stance that he have surgery...but this joke is getting worse by the minute. What a total waste of our glue stick for the past 6 months. Hurry up and make him have the damn surgery and stop pretending it's anything other than what it has been for 6 months, which is a colosal mis-managed situation!

Chip, thanks for the preview. I wish Memphis all the luck over there in West hell, you'll need it. As for us, we'll be picking up steam soon as we battle to our 50 win goal and a shot at round 2 or 3 of the playoffs this year. And yes, we will be giving you a spanking tomorrow night to end that 2 game win streak.

Mailbag – Answering your Question and Making up my own

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 03:08:00 +0000

Dallas at the Half

Here's what I wrote at the half.
With any luck the Raps can hold onto this half time lead, crush the Mavsin the final two minutes (cause the game will be close) and get back towards a 50 win pace. bargNANI is raining 3's, Bosh is aggressive and making real moves, people are almost even fighting for defensive rebounds…almost. But it's the Mavs at home and we love giving up wide open three's and long rebounds, so a 14 point head start is not much to write home about.

Moon Scouting Report

Someone said to me "once they get the scouting report on Moon he's toast". Really? He hustles, gets in your face, goes up to block a shot, and even on a fake can likely get back up before you get your real shot off. How do you scout against that? On offence he's taking what they give him, he can shoot triples and he can fly like Nelly Furtado. (Fantasy note: he could be worth a spot on a deep bench. Editor's note: I already scooped him up and renamed my team Moonshine Glenn).

Readers Request – New Feature

Sven asks: "Write a post about all our shooters! Also write something about Hector!".
Sure. Hector (nickname) was scouted out of Korea by Vigor and came dangerously close to making it to our training camp this year. As for our shooters, do we have lots of em? Yup. Are we getting them 'their shot'…no. So far tonight we are, but so far this year it's been spotty. Nani shoots from the top of the key. Anywhere else is too close. Bosh shoots from the elbow and the baseline. Parker shoots from Mo Pete's office as does Kapono (if he can ever get an open shot). Garbo likes it at 45 degrees and Delfino hasn't yet met an angle he doesn't like (ditto for Humphries). Ford is money this year 5 feet inside the long ball and Calderone is a golden god in limited minutes, minus the acid.

Pet Peeve of the Week

This won't be a weekly feature, I like to bitch much too much to contain it to once a week. But come with me down this journey folks. Picture me..standing in a courtroom…you are primarily a racist white jury and i'm ridiculously good looking….now close your eyes and picture the Raptors holding for last shot. You see T.J. Ford waiting…and waiting…and waiting. You see the clock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Picture yourself thinking 'for the love of god man, make your move'…but it doesn't happen. Not until 5 precious ticks are left on that clock.

Now close your eyes and picture that he's Michael Jordan. Cause I'm pretty sure that's what Ford does.

The reason this plan works for a 6 foot 6 pure scorer is that he knows he can get a decent shot off. He's like Paris at the nightclub. It doesn't really matter if she waits till closing time, she's going to score, at will, if she wants. The problem with Ford's late night move if he drives and can't get a clean shot he is left with two options. Option 1 is his the huck-up a prayer maneuver. Option 2 is kick it out to someone else who has about 0.8 seconds to get off a shot. Ouch.

Now close your eyes again and picture a day when he drives with 7 seconds to go. Sweet sweet heaven.

Don't think it's an impossibility, remember not long ago T.J. was the king of the 1 on 4 drive, throw it sideways over his head towards the basket move. Hopefully it's only 5 or so more tick tocks before he adjusts his arsenal once more.

Garbo: Play till it breaks (Follow Up)

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 18:43:00 +0000

Sam Mitchell and I are actually fairly close off the court and I'm guessing he likely read the last posting and said, damn straight, how did i forget that?! Let's see what he can do with 25 minutes.

Garbo gets 24 minutes (including crunch time), goes 3-7 (2-5 from downtown), 6 boards, 2 dimes, 1 steal, and 0 Turnovers.

Most importantly if you watched the game you see why we like Garbo. Quick decisions. Massive screens (do you see how open Calzone gets off Garbo's screens comapred to Bosh?) and solid defence.

If you know the little things to look for, you can see that Garbo does em. Normally this type of effort might signify a return of minutes, but given bargNani logged 5 minutes, Baston logged 18 minutes, it's harder to predict than which Graham brother or Olsen twin has more upside, when 'neither' is not an option.

Play Garbo till he Breaks: The Untold Story of Garbo’s Pine Ride

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:09:00 +0000

Why can't a mediocre Raptors squad who has no flow find minutes for one of last year's key guys? The answers are starting to come out and I for one am not happy.

Our Biggest Problem: The offence is stagnant, it's jammed up and the perfect flow of passing that was the Toronto Raptors is so far MIA. And sure we aren't shooting great, but I'd argue we aren't getting the right guys the right shots. Just because you are open does not make it the right shot (do you hear me Delfino?)

My Biggest Question: Integrating new guys into the offence is not resulting in a smooth, crisp machine like last year so why aren't we letting last years team show the new guys how it's done and then working them in to bigger roles?

The Shocking Answer: One piece of the puzzle is Garbo and apparently all the way from Colangelo down we've decided not to play Garbo. The Doctor's have said his leg is going to break again if they play him hard on it and so they don't want to risk it. "Risk it?". Risk what? They'd rather just work the new guys in now so nothing needs to be fixed later if he goes down.

My Reaction: Are you _____ kidding me (said with anger)!?! Ya, his leg is slightly broken. He didn't get surgery. So the answer is to just ride him on the pine? Seriously, this is the brain farts, solution to this problem? I mean tell me it's cause he's not playing well. Tell me something that doesn't sound like the Leafs are running this team.

How about this, if you weren't going to play him if he played in the Euro Championships why didn't you just tell him that!? Maybe then he wouldn't have played. Or we could have been even blunter and gone with "Sorry Garbo, we need you, you'll be at the Olympics in 2008 and we need you to have another surgery". Don't tell the guy you support him and then tell him he screwed it up. Of COURSE HE WANTED TO PLAY FOR SPAIN! Imagine Nash begging Steve Kerr, "Hey I can play, this leg will be fine, Canada needs me". We'd be like pigs in shit, but Kerr would simply say 'Sorry Nash, you gotta be 100% for us first'. And you know what, we'd be annoyed, but we'd completely understand. And we'd give him credit for wanting to play and trying to play. Kerr is supposed to be the bad guy in that situation.

The thought that we are benching Garbo because we don't want to mess with our yet undiscovered "chemistry" if he does in fact re-break the leg is an obscene decision based on what if's and butts, which are like Candy and Nuts (as Matt Bonner would say). Guys go down all the time, it's why you have depth.

Solution: Play him till it breaks. At least give the guy a couple of 30 minute game to SEE WHAT HE CAN DO! He's not a high energy, come in for 5 minutes and shake it up king of guy. He's steady Eddy who knows when to pass, when to pump drive pass, etc. Right now he's being forced to try and do too much in too little time and for one I think it's brutal.

The Media's Reaction: Reading this crap from Dave Feschuk in the Star this morning and seeing the anti-Garbo angle really bothers me. Don't try to turn us on Garbo. If Garbo is taking a suck because we're basically saying 'sorry man, can't risk you breaking your leg, you are too valuable on the bench' then I'd be sulking too. i.e. screw you guys, maybe you could have told me your real stance up front!

And hey, if he truly can't get it going, then of course he shouldn't play. And if he needs to have surgery, then have surgery. But this b.s., I've never heard such a pile of crap, and coming out of the Colangelo era I'm supremely disappointed.

editor's note: where is the humour and joy we normally find in these rambling posts? look for good old fashioned happy analysis next time out.

Fly Me to the Moon

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 03:06:00 +0000

I want to sing among the stars. Tell me what life is like on…Jupiter or Mars.

Well I can't tell you about that but our latest non-rookie, old-timer rookie, 27 year old Jamario Moonshine Graham sure makes me feel like crooning. We heard the pre-season hype that he could jump out of the gym, that he was uber-athletic and could 'do some things'. Then we saw Lucky Luke Jackson get cut to make room for him. Then we saw him take off his suit and get off that inactive list.

In the Bucks blowout we saw him run around, jack a couple bricks and hustle for some boards. Orlando he was now part of Sam's see-saw, logging the big O. And then came Philly, Moon earned 22 minutes, was 4-8, with 1 block, 2 steals, 8 boards. And then in Chicago, as you know, it got even better in 24 minutes...as a starter.

The bottom line is that so long as the Raptors (see: Delfino and bargNani) can't get the ball movement that we need happening (or at least fake past their defender) having Kapono sitting in coverage in the corner is as useful as having a 4^th nipple. Might as well have someone in there who can grab some boards, play some defence and give us a boost. Well this kids a boost. He's getting his first at-bat at the age of 27 and unlike Moonlight Graham (a.k.a. Dr. Archibald), a.k.a. if you haven't seen Field of Dreams this makes no sense (and p.s. rent freaking Field of Dreams if you haven't seen it already), unlike Moonlight he's going to get more than one at bat. I'm not saying he's the next JYD, I'm just hopeful he's not the next Bad Joey Graham.

On this squad you'll get minutes if you play well (and even if you don't if your name rhymes with Barlos Melbino). But it's all about Moon right now so let's kick back and enjoy.

I repeat, it's time to enjoy. Don't be negative. Don't ask questions like 'why did he get suspended from school?' or 'how come he's just making the league at 27?'. Maybe 'Why did he try to sing our national anthem without first learning the tune?'. Or 'hey, why are there You Tube highlights of him playing with the Harlem Globetrotters?'.

Moon told the world that his teammates have been making him ride it for his MJ Imitation dunk in Chicago....in that he can do better. He's promised to light up the highlight reel if he sees consistent minutes. Word on the street is this kid might just be a contender. Word is.

Here's hoping Raptors faithful…hoping that we may have found the next great spark for our squad, the moonshine in our Gatorade, the next great hustling, scrambling, Larry Bird number wearing, high flying future dunk champion. For now, for the next few days or weeks we can all hope for that.

p.s. Seriously It's not my favourite sports movie or anything but if you haven't seen Field of Dreams stop trolling the new release section for some trash that wasn't worth theatre prices and pick yourself up a nice weekly rental you are guaranteed to like.

Ray Kinsella: Fifty years ago, for five minutes you came within... y-you came this close. It would KILL some men to get so close to their dream and not touch it. God, they'd consider it a tragedy.
Dr. Archibald "Moonlight" Graham: Son, if I'd only gotten to be a doctor for five minutes... now that would have been a tragedy.

Save the cheerleader, Save our Team

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 20:54:00 +0000

When Juan Dixon and The Hump light things up for an entire half of near perfect shooting and 18 points you expect to be winning. When Bosh goes 14-14 from the line you expect we are firing on all cylinders. And when TJ is working a 10:1 ratio you expect the moon to crash into the earth and for everyone to die in a fiery explosion. But of course, we aren’t dominating, and these numbers are illusions. Bosh is not back to Bosh yet which is problem 1. All assumptions and proclamations about Raptor domination work on the assumption that Bosh is All-Star Bosh. The other assumption going into this year of course was that we wouldn’t have a long period of figuring each other out. That our pieces moved together in perfect harmony and that our depth was even deeper. Hopefully that will be the case….soon.

Suffering from Heroes Syndrome
Our current 13 man rotation is very last year. If you watched the Show “Heroes” last year you already know how it was basically the Raptors season. If you are watching it this year you are seeing some eerie similarities rising again.

The problem with Heroes at the outset last year was there were so many heroes, so many story lines that you could never really get into the full groove of any particular hero. There were lots of individual talents but they weren't a team in the least. As the show moved along they started to come together and form cohesive units and story lines. They started to know their roles and work together to harness the collective powers. And by the end it was one kick as unit that together knocked down (but not out) the uber creepy Sylar. In effect The Raptors were the Heroes of last year minus the end where we couldn’t defeat the uber-creepy Carter.

2007- 2008: Here we go again

This year Hero is stuck back in ancient times and nobody really understands what he’s doing. We only have a couple of new heroes who look promising (like the girl who kills you with her black death eyes) but for some reason the old Heroes forget they were a super team and are all over the map again figuring things out for the first time.

Sam Mitchell is our Hero wandering around the 1600s taking his own arrows and certainly confusing us. We can only hope that he soon pieces it together and we look at the genius of this plot he is unfolding. In summary, get Hero out of ancient times and back to the big city to pull this team together.

What is the PT Situation?

I’m glad I asked.

8 Raptors are averaging over 20 minutes a game

4 Raptors are averaging over 11 minutes a game

1 Raptor is averaging 8.2 minutes a game…and he’s Jorge Garbajosa

Yup, old trusty Uhu Glue stick Jorge Garbajosa is riding the pine. He says he’s fine, Mitchell clearly thinks otherwise. Delfino is virtually tied with Bosh for most minutes played. Rasho is stuck in 10 minute land and we are losing. Big time. Other than cohesion issues what’s up?

Passing, where has the passing gone?

It only takes one guy to stop the passing flow. It takes a few guys to shoot when they should pass and it becomes as contagious as passing once was. This team has to trust the pass, work it around and shoot open shots. Too much hesitation, too much forcing, too little passing. We need the passing disease to strike back in TO. Kapono is probably the most confused guy, he thought he was just taking over Mo Pete's office space in the corner.

And of course our shooting woes are well documented. Guys like Bargnani have shown they can play defence on tough opponents, Carlos can grab rebounds, T.J. can own people but if we can't hit open shots we can't win. We aren't built to win any other way. So get the cohesion, get the passing, get the open shots.

Save our cheerleaders...save our season.

Mitchell Mind Games

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 02:19:00 +0000

Although this encounter was a victory, I think we have shown it as an example of what not to do.

Was Mitchell just playing mind games? I think all twelve players had hit the court by halftime and only Garbo hadn't scored yet. Good thing Philly is more like a preseason game anyways.

Garbo note: The crowd gave Garbo some serious love with a huge standing O, followed by a Gar Ba Hoo Sa chant for a good 30 seconds. We love Garbo (who pregame was also given his NBA All First team rookie award along with the Nani).

And speaking of the Nani, he gets two quick fouls and YANK. Banished for what seemed like 1.5 quarters or more. Just like last year we have no idea who is going to get the minutes so everybody got them. But who got way too many you ask?

Carlos Delfino. What in the world was he doing on the court all game? He played 30 minutes of mostly uninspired basketball. His stat sheet looks harmless enough but right from the pregame he looked nonchalant, which clearly irked me.

Play of the game. Nani for 4. Down the stretch, Philly closing in. Nani drops a 3 + the harm. Although the real play of the game was probably Anthony Parker dropping a 3 after the Sixers had closed it way too tight. Tough to tell...a few plays of the game and TJ could even earn consideration from some crunch time drives (note to TJ: when you are trying to eat clock and get a shot low in the clock, stop waiting for 5 seconds. try 8. i realize MJ waited till 5 but MJ could get his own shot every time where as you have to pass it quite often).

Bosh gets benched? Was Bosh injured? Has he not earned the right to play the last 3 minutes, let alone 9 minutes of the game? Sure he was hoisting a lot of crap and forcing a few thing but down the stretch we were playing Ford, Parker, Nani, Delfino, Kapono. Were those guys so amazing that we didn't need any boards? (note: i later hear Mitchell say Bosh "ran out of gas"....really he didn't have two minutes in him...

Although i sound annoyed in the face of a V (which is some serious tough love game 1), we did show signs of depth (even without playing our real lineup) and this game is clearly hopefully is no indication of upcoming minutes played (minus Ford & Parker).

Mitchell is still in tryout mode so lets hope he gets Delfino into the 16 minute range on the asap and gets Garbo and co back on track to success. We know the guys who are going to take us there so lets get to it.

NBA 2K8 vs. The Best of the Best

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 03:32:00 +0000

When NBA 2K8 said ‘we’ll send you our game to try out, will you post a little ad widget’, I said as long as you know if the game sucks that’s what I’ll be writing (and not posting your link). No problem.

But since all the new NBA games are good, if not unreal I couldn’t just do an EA vs. NBA 2K8 vs. Live. Those are like comparing apples to apples. They all have a zillion buttons and features and surreal graphics. So the question really is how does this game stack up against the all-time great?

(apologies for the random 'end if' messages everywhere we had a little widget explosion on my blog if you use I.E.)

NBA 2K8 vs. Double Dribble

In 1987 Konami released one of the finest hoops games ever. In a nasally computer voice the words “Double Dribble” echoed out of my NES thousands of times. This addiction all culminated in a matchup vs. Clint Williams, a self proclaimed DD star at my school. We played our championship game on a 55 inch wood paneled t.v. and it was a bloodbath from the get go. Clint was totally and utterly dominated because (amongst other things) he didn’t even know about the automatic 3 pointer. It was like playing a child. Today I would be some kind of kind wunder on a video game circuit….and yet maybe things didn’t turn out that bad after all.

Though I’ve logged about a thousand less games of NBA 2K8 give or take a few games here’s the run down.

Cost

NBA 2K8: $44.99

Double Dribble: $3.99 (buy now price on Ebay). Given you probably have to buy an NES that’s another $38.00 on Ebay, so we’re up to $42.00 total.

Advantage: Double Dribble

Game Modes / Options

NBA 2K8: Do you even have any idea what you can do with these new systems? Do you realize all us fantasy sports geeks have barely even scratched the surface of true glory (read: geek-dome)? Do you even know what’s going to happen to divorce rates / cheating if this ever gets marketed properly?

Today, right now, you could be having live NBA 2K8 drafts to create your own teams in your own league, GM the thing and play it. Good god. I feel like I’m watching Cirque du Soleil on Mushrooms.

Sure you might say ‘there are too many options’ and that’s fine, but it’s 2007, you better get used to it or you won’t know how to set the VCR in 20 years from now. Keep up people.

Double Dribble: Multiple games lengths, 4 teams (with both black and white players), 3 skill levels and 1 player or ‘vs.’ mode. The huge upside here is your game is started within 21 seconds of firing up the NES. The downside is if you play one player you can’t choose the Celtics.

The classic battle of too many options vs. too few. Like I said…keep up.

Advantage: NBA 2K8

Controls

NBA 2K8: I still don’t know how to play. When I Googled the answer I felt a lot better that the gaming nerds were also complaining about this. How do kids get lit today and remember all these buttons? Kids today…a smart bunch.

Double Dribble:
Offence: A – Pass. B – Shoot.
Defence: A – Steal/Block. B – Switch Player.

Unless you are a real hard core player the new system means you lose to anybody who owns the game (or when you travel cross systems). You can still become a Double Dribble ninja but it’s more like a Wii in that anyone can play.

Advantage: Double Dribble

Playability – The Money Shots

NBA 2K8: How can Chris Bosh miss so many gimmees? Am I hitting the shoo button wrong? There is nothing more annoying than working inside for a good shot and randomly missing a lay-up with Bosh or a dunk with Bargnani. That was the one downside of NBA 2K8. This game is super fun. Make it easy, make it hard, they give you the choice. And you can use the right ‘pad’ to do some sweet Bosh fade aways.

Double Dribble: I was having lunch with Tav and as soon as I mentioned this post he said “The three point shot off the glass from the top right”. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. But it’s no gimme either. You really have to work to learn that shot. Once you do though, nobody can beat you going left to right again (note: I slaughtered Clint going both ways…honestly he was terrible).

Let’s re-enact me doing this 5 minutes ago from a site that let’s you play this online!!! Are you freaking kidding me? More on this in a moment.

Down 2-0 early to the Celtics

Notice where my guy (top right out of bounds is shooting from). note: this shot goes in...again and again.

Advantage: Tie.
NBA 2K8 is complex and all but it’s also ridiculously great. Then again, Double Dribble had the three (and don’t forget the block). After 1 quarter I was up 18 – 10 on 6 for 8 three point shooting.

Graphics:
Just kidding. See below.

Dunks

Double Dribble – Huge points for innovation, great slow motion dunks but lacking variety.

NBA 2K8 – Signature move after signature move. It's not new, but it's good.

Advantage: 2K8

Widget

Double Dribble: In 1987 a widget was only found in your Econ 101 books. But i kid you not, you can play the entire game of Double Dribble online right now. I swear. I can’t believe this. The cost section was all wrong, although playing on a computer is never the same. This widget leads you to a full game. Give it a try, see what you've got!!

Click to Play!

NBA 2K8: First the widget appeared not to post. Then i discovered it just wouldn't show up in Firefox. So I checked I.E. and guess what!? It blew up my right nav because it was so wide!

That was painful. Go to http://2ksports.com/games/nba2k8/ to see it yourself or email me and i'll send you the widget destruction code.

Summary
You can’t have a winner when it comes to comparing two different eras. We’ll never know what Wilt vs. Shaq would look like. And we don’t need to. Double Dribble has all those timeless memories, the Clint Williams’ of life, the computer run up score drubbings, the nights wishing you were cooler and not playing so many games….but it’s probably best left in the dusty confines of NES heaven. Where lots of classics should stay. Amazing in our hearts and minds.

But if they ever have an old timers video game league…somebody give me a call.

We're Back Baby. Topic 1: Why John Hollinger sucks, not the Raptors

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 21:40:00 +0000

An entire summer free of Ramblings? I don’t even know where to start so how about what I learned this summer. I wrote a fat camp blog on msn.ca and learned 3 things that impact you:

1. Keeping under 500 words is TOUGH (editors note: post one did not achieve this goal)

2. Mainstream sites aren't keen on ‘borrowing’ stuff from the web such as photos. I even needed ‘express consent’ to post a picture of a buddy at a stag doing a keg stand (which I claimed to have received).

3. I’ll never weigh 165 pounds again. In fact if I ever get below 180 again it’ll likely be due to sickness…and I’m getting comfortable with that (this may not impact you).

John Hollinger and his PER – La Grande Blague

Mr. Hollinger Predicts
Raptors: 39-43
Tied for 2nd Atlantic
Tied for 9th in Eastern Conference
i.e. he doesn’t think we can even make the playoffs! Feel free to read his ramblings here

John's theory is that everyone just happened to have careers years and they are all doomed to fall back down to earth. It was a blip in the PER radar. This is the kind of crap people used to say to justify why Nash wasn’t the King. People around him were just stepping up.

The PER meets the BOE
I won’t argue that the PER isn't a nice stat to have, hats off for developing one number to compare all players Mr. Holland, although if you could apply this to fantasy predictions I would find it much more useful.

I do believe it’s great in conjunction with the SG’s VP of Common Sense to validate the results which clearly Holland doesn’t always bother himself with. When Hollinger heard that Paramount Pictures landed Tim Burton and a cast of Nicholson, Close, Bening, Brosnan, DeVito, Short, Jessica-Parker, Michael J. Fox, and Natalie Portman he had the Box Office Efficiency (BOE) through the roof. As close to a sure thing as you could get! The problem is BOE + BOE doesn’t = BOE Gold (the other problem is Tim Burton without Johnny Depp or animation is disaster on a Rob Babcock type scale). Result: Mars Attacks.

The Raptors are more like Melrose Place
When Aaron Spelling parlayed the 90210 formula into Melrose Place it wasn’t a BOE studded cast, it was just tweaking the formula and putting together a solid cast of characters that could follow the nucleus (Heather Locklear) to gold. It was the right time for that type of show, the imitators weren’t there yet and the Bev had proved it could work.

The Raptors briefly tried to imitate the Suns last year using the Run and Gun but it turns out you need to have athletic guys to pull that off. Go figure. So what did we do? We looked at our talent and saw something that could work given our cast. It had worked for the past 8 years in International play vs. this EXACT type of competition (i.e. Team USA / NBA players).

Passing.
Selfless point guards (accurate 3 games out of 4 plus or minus 1 point guard).
Smarts i.e. knowing your role.
Egolowness.

This wasn’t rocket science it was genius. And soon lots of people will try to copy it.
We had the Euro players, the ability to play decent defense and ridiculous offensive execution, based on effort, brains and efficiency to help us win games. It’s not like these guys are playing over their head individually. In fact as soon as TJ gets into “I can take these guys 1-4 by driving hard and throwing it over my head" mode you can see the massive breakdown. Luckily so can Sam, sound buzzer, enter Jose.

If you want to trash the Raptors focus on Bosh / Garbajosa’s injury potential as hurdles and the 'emergence' of the East (I have my doubts). And of course ignore BargNANI nation’s emergence, the resurgence of Rasho and the 3 pt magic Kapono may just add.

I ask you, how hard was it for Andrew Shue to ‘act’ when all eyes were on Heather L? Seriously, this guy couldn’t act his way out of my grade 9 drama class and he enjoyed years of success. Our only real Shue is Bad Joey, who will hopefully cede way to good Joey this year (17:1 in Vegas). Bosh is Locklear and forces your eyes to him which leaves our supporting cast to zing the ball around until we find open shots. Is our cast really coming back ‘down to earth’ from this? Did Anthony Parker and Garbo just have a lucky season after years of success overseas? Is Kapono going to stop being able to hit wide open shots after 3 years of 47% shooting from long range? Is Nani going to get better or worse?

Hawks and Bobcats to Beat out Raptors for Playoff Spot
Really? Once I saw how bad we were I was Interested to see who would be taking our spot in the playoffs. And now I demand that If Hollinger is going to outsource his predictions to India then at least he should have to review them. Maybe I can start a company that reviews outsourced stuff, we’ll call it “Common Sense Buddy”. CSB.

Ranting and Rambling:
I shouldn’t spend an entire post trashing someone else. The guy is out on a limb. But I couldn’t help it. Washington 13th, Raptors 9th it’s just plain wrong. On hustle alone Atlanta will lose 5 games that they would win with Raptors like hustle. And that’s the point. I know this because I’m a basketball fan and I watch games. Maybe Atlanta’s rookies will propel them to the next level but we’ve been saying that for years. The reality is the Raptors went into last year WAY under rated and it looks like it’s happening again. Luckily for us, I think that’s the way they like it.

Random Research Note: I had my Virtual Assistant in India check out the shows that Marcia Cross (red headed bitch from Melrose place, more recently from Desperate Housewives) has appeared / starred in over the years! Somebody get this girl on their show, her BOE is through the ROOF (clearly her BOE is up there).

Shows: Cheers, Who’s the Boss, Murder She Wrote, Knots Landing, Melrose Place, Seinfeld, Spin City, Ally McBeal, CSI, Desperate Housewives. How’s that for a BOE!

Bottom Line: The only way we win less than 40 games is major injuries to multiple guys (or Bosh for 20+ games). The most likely way we'll win 48 games is coming up soon, and the drea like scenario of 55 games I'll save for December.

Garnett, Stoudemire and Zaza...oh my

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 22:52:00 +0000

If what Yahoo reports is true you have to guess McHale is just sticking it to the Wolves on the way out the door.

Phoenix: Gets KG
Atlanta: Gets Amare
Minn: Gets Zaza, Anthony Johnson, #3 pick and #11 pick

First off none of these salaries match-up so there has to be more to it. Garnett is $23 million, Amare is $13 million, the two butt plugs from Atlanta are $6 million total.

But why oh why would Minn not just swap KG for Amare and someone else to make the contract work like an expiring Kurt Thomas and Marcus Banks? They end up with youth, expiring contract (for more youth) one year of toughness out of Kurt and a future.

Would Phoenix do it? Probably. They give up an ego maniac / budding All-Star but somehow all the buzz is on Phoenix needing to do something to win before Nash's wheels fall off. Not sure they'd give up Thomas but clearly i'm not 100% clear on how this deal works financially regardless.

The only weird thing is Amare dominated last season and was fantastic in the playoffs. Had that ludicrous suspension not happened Phoenix had a shot to win the whole thing!

But there it is, the wild world of the NBA where Kevin McHale involves a third team so he can build young instead of acquiring a 24 year old All-Star and an acquiring contract to build his team around!

p.s. if your argument is that Amare 'doesn't want to play' in Minnesota, who cares? Does he have a no trade clause or something? The guys got five years to get used to the idea so it's a non factor.

p.p.s. anybody who thinks Colangelo will trade Jose for the #11 pick (i.e. Chad Ford) should not be doing mock drafts. Saying "this would work well for Atlanta" seems a little short sighted. Neither Ford nor Jose were all-stars on their own but if everyone is desperate for a PG could we not look at unloading T.J. for a position we need?

p.p.p.s. i'm not sure why a trade rumour got me out of hibernation. I've been writing on my fat camp blog which takes up my blogging time.

West Coast Rising: Durant and Oden won't be in our way

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Wed, 23 May 2007 14:58:00 +0000

It's nice to know that Lebron, Wade, the emerging Bulls and the aging Pistons will continue to be the primary obstacles for Raptors supremecy. While it's slightly annoying that the West Coast continues to get better really who cares? If Oden and Durant turn out to be the next two big things i'm more than happy to pick them up for my fantasy team and enjoy their play on late night west coast NBA t.v.

Did the Celtics ever get screwed though!
Beautiful news for us. The Celtics will be picking 5th and the Hawks almost slipped into that #2 seat which also would have been a tragedy. The hawks have loads of young talent, but adding a Durant to their squad would have enabled them to make some trades for more stable pieces and be an immediate threat. Instead they'll be adding a Corey Brewer type. Phewf.

Phoenix gets screwed too! It's easy to hope for Phoenix with their high octane game and Steve Nash leadership but did they really need a top 5 pick? They had the Hawks pick only if it didn't fall in the top 3....and it was #3. So Nash and co. who thought they might get a huge asset in the early first round are left with two later picks. Things are really starting to go wrong for Phoenix this month. Ouch.

No More Posts?
Posts will be fewer and farther between. I now have to post for FAT CAMP. I joined up to get a free personal trainer and motivate myself to get into shape. So I also have to post on my progress. There's not much hoops talk but certainly some rambling.

Enjoy...the end of Whopper Warren may be near.....

http://befitbootcamp.sympatico.msn.ca/Warren/

Big Shot Bob

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:30:00 +0000

You may call him Big Shot Bob or maybe Big Shot Rob. But there is no doubt Robert Horry's check of Steve Nash was one of the biggest shots he's ever hit.

No Stoudemire and Diaw for game 5 because they didn't get into a fight? The NBA is losing its mind. Refs blow the whistle 3 seconds after a play depending on did the ball go in or not, who was involved etc. And now i'm hearing that this is by the letter of the rule? The fact that the NBA has the balls to say something like this enrages me to no end. It is ludicrous.

Raptors
I have yet to post my final Raptors thoughts for a great 2007 campaign. But hats off to B-Co for the excutive of the year. There was no other option and I have utmost confidence that he'll bring back an even better team next year. Can't wait to see what he's got up his sleeves.

Enjoy the playoffs.

You Gotta Believe It's Raptors in 7

noreply@blogger.com (WG) — Fri, 04 May 2007 13:19:00 +0000

Why do you gotta?

How about for a little karma? How about the power of positive vibes?

I mean, what kind of a person doesn't want to believe? The Mavs just got absolutely slaughtered by the Warriors. And who ever thought Hurley on Lost could pull the cute blond? Did you ever imagine what's her name could win the Apprentice? And who would have thought Martin Brodeur in a Vezina campaign year even knew what a Sieve was let alone could magically transform into one like some kind of Barba Poppa? (note: i just learned how to spell Sieve and had a nice reminiscent "Clickity Click....Barba Trick moment...see this blog is useful).

Carry some hope tonight Raps fans. Here's 5 more reasons that should give you hope:

1. What is up, must come down. What is up with Chris Bosh? He is MIA, a bit down that people are trashing his game and generally not able to focus his energy to properly dominate. How long till he figures out how to do it? It could be 3, 4, 7 more playoff games....BUT...it could be tonight. One thing is for sure. At some point, he will figure it out.

2. Jose is playing World Championship styles and he's learning how to slow down J-Kidd. Plus...he's doing this one for Garbo!

3. My horoscope on iGoogle said "Give yourself permission to sink into your irrational dreams and you just might return with valuable wisdom that you can put to use". I'm not 100% sure the relevance here...but it just feels good.

4. After 7 years and some absolutely amazing decisions George W is still the president of the US. If that can happen, anything can happen, right?

5. Vince "Boo Wince Crumple Cry Momma's Boy" Carter is on the OTHER team.
He doesn't have the heart of a champion and he'll never win the big one. He could easily blow this series with two straight stinkers and lots of "you take the winning shot Nutbar passes".

Easily.