The Furobiker

Everybody Dies!

2012-05-27T11:07:00.003+05:30

For the first time in my life, I am sitting in front of my laptop and not able to type a single word! It feels like a small part of me died just few hours ago! This is an obituary to Doctor Gregory House!

Most famous words uttered by House, time and again, were "Everybody Lies" !! So, there can not be a more fitting title to the final episode of the series than Everybody Dies! Captures the essence and conveys the meaning!

For eight years I was hooked like crazy to this show! Even though in the beginning I could not understand the medical terminology shit they were talking about, but that never stopped me from desperately waiting for the next episode/season of this show!

If I had to choose one fictional character I idolize, I would rather choose House over God! God creates problems, House solves them!

Anyways, as Deepika Padukone has said time and again to all her boyfriends - Everything that has a beginning has an ending! :D :D

And trust me, there could not have been a better ending to the last episode. I specially like the last scene where at his funeral, everybody was saying stupid sugar-coated shit! And then suddenly Wilson breaks down, and calls House what he really is - A Jerk, jackass who had no emotions for anyone in this world, and can go to any length to demean his patients, friends and co-workers! :D

But whatever people say, you cannot find a more impulsive guy than House, and I love him for that! Bhaad me jaye dunia, jo karna hai wo karna hai! Even if it fetches him a jail sentence for that matter! :D

Waise Nirmal Baba ne kaha hai, House ke ye teen principals yaad kar lo, kripa aani shuru ho jayegi! :D

1) Everybody lies
2) People don't change
3) It is always about the puzzle!

There cannot be a bigger genius and a better friend than you House! Specially for what you did in the end.. Over and out!

Its all in the details !

2012-05-21T11:10:00.000+05:30

Long time no blog?

I think bloggers should never sign-up for Facebook and Twitter! All that I want to write here as long posts, gets written in the form of 140 characters over there! Sigh! And then I am in no mood to write that same stuff again on the blog! So no more tweeting for the next one week! Pakka promise! :P

These days I am trying to better utilize my morning cab time by catching up on some reading, instead of snoozing every single day! :P Currently the ratio is 3 days sleeping, 2 days reading in the cab! Aakhi ye aaram ka maamla hai! :D

This week, I read a strange murder mystery - The Devotion of Suspect X . If I remember correctly, this book is a translation from the original Japanese version. Which is very clear from the nouns used in the book - and this my dear friends, was the one and only pain point of this book! See, remembering Seeta aur Geeta is relatively very easy, as compared with remembering Yasuko, Misato, Ishigami, and Togashi! Phew! :D

Coming back to the book, this isn't one of your typical murder mysteries! In the first 40-50 odd pages, the writer does three things - 1) Builds a very strong mental image of the town, 2) Introduces you to the key characters, 3)Takes you through the exact murder scene!!

Now, that's the best part about the book! Let me digress - So, how many of you like Sherlock Holmes, or Dr. House for that matter? The only common thing between these two characters - apart from the fact that both of them are big show-offs - is their attention for details! By noticing tiny details, these guys turn around their respective cases - be it a medical case or a criminal one!

The protagonist of this book, is no different from these guys. Just look at the following paragraph -

When I knocked on your door a few minutes ago, I smelled cigarette smoke. Figuring you had a guest, I looked for shoes by the door, but I couldn’t see any. I glanced into the room, and noticed it looked like someone was under your kotatsu, and the cord was pulled. But if someone wanted to hide, they could’ve just gone into the back room. Which meant that the person under the kotatsu wasn’t hiding there, they had been hidden there. When I put that together with the thumping noises that I had heard, and the fact that your hair was unusually dishevelled, it wasn’t hard to imagine what had happened. Oh, and one more thing: there aren’t any cockroaches in this building. I’ve lived here several years now and never seen one.

Now imagine, when such a modern-day-Sherlock is on the side of the murderer! The author, though the hands of the protagonist, takes you and the detectives on a ride! He takes the detectives on the route where he wants to take them, through meticulous plan - which obviously works 5 steps ahead than detectives!

The novel is very tightly written - no spare words used anywhere! And the best part is - no guns, knives or AK 47s used anywhere in the novel! On top of that, there are just one or two instances of even cars mentioned in the book! It is the story of a simple town in Japan, where the protagonist, his scientist friend and the detectives play brain games to solve or rather tangle the murder mystery!

I was so bloody impressed by the intelligence of the protagonist, that I wished that the book almost never ended! The only mistake I made was pick this book as my cab read! It was bloody hard to put it down in between, and wait for the cab next morning to pick this up again! Phew!

Read it if you want, I would recommend it, if that matters! But do take care of the Japanese names - they tend to get very confusing at times! Sigh! :D

Buy it from Flipkart - The Devotion of Suspect X

IT BHU to IIT - Finally

2012-05-07T11:21:00.000+05:30

Celebration Pic !!

IT BHU - my alma mater - to turn into an IIT soon!

Read more on the official Alumni website here (click link) Will write a detailed post on it soon!

Vicky Donor - Movie Review

2012-05-03T11:36:00.000+05:30

Did you guys watch Vicky Donor? No? What!!

Go watch it now! (Not with your parents, please) :D

On a serious note, I absolutely loved the movie! Maybe because I watched a comedy movie after a long time, maybe because of the subject of the movie, or maybe because of the Dilli-wala style of the characters of the movie! Waise, I am repeating myself, but Bombay has lost its fizz! Most of the movies these days are either shot in Delhi, or the actors acting in them try to speak in saadi Dilli style di Pindi! (Pindi = Punjabized Hindi :P )

Anyways, coming back to the movie - its about a lukkha guy, Vicky, who in lure of earning pocket money, turns into a Sperm Donor! Ab bhai aap log butter chicken te paranthe khane wale Punjabiyon ki fertility ke baare me to jaante hi honge :P So, after a few tests and few test drives (*wink wink* :D) saada Vicky turns into a rockstar of the sperm donor world ! Bole to ladka ekdum demand me aa gaya!

I think Ghalib had sadda Vicky in mind when he wrote the following lines

Is dunia me aaye ho to kuch aisa karo kadradaan,

jis gali se niklo aawaz aaye - Abba jaan Abba jaan! :D

If I had to give an award for the best performance of this movie, I would definitely give it to the auntyjee who played the role of Daadeejee (grand mother) of Vicky! Oh man, that old lady is hilariously funny! :D In one scene, auntyjee itne tashan se daaru ki gillassi maang rahi hai, ki bade bade bewdo ko bhi sharam aa jaye! :D

The second half of the movie was tad slower than the first half, when Vicky falls for a bong girl and their pyaar mohabbat begins! The director had me at the point when they show the two love birds chatting on Facebook. Vicky says - Hi Fish, and the Girl replies - Hi Butter Chicken! :D You can not show a more real conversation than that between a bong and a punjabi!

Anyways, there are some awesome scenes in the movie, where they tell their respective parents about their choices! The respective set of parents thrash the other community in such a funny way, that you will literally roll on the floor laughing (or as the kids these days say - ROTFL!) :P! Its a must watch scene on Youtube, if you are not planning to watch the movie!

The ending was a bit drab, but nevertheless, I spent some time on thinking about it and realized, there could not be any other ending to this ! See, it had to be a happy ending, and it had to do with kids, so you know, right...

There is only one song worth listening in this movie - Paani da rang! I am sure, your respective Radio stations must have already killed you with the male version of the song. However, do listen to the female version of this song as well, I felt its much much better, and the lyrics are also written in a way that female version should have been the original version. Seems old buddies of Ayyushman ( I dont know the actual mis-spelling of his name), Raghu and Rajeev bullied the director to promote his version of the song! :O :P

I would definitely recommend this movie as a must watch movie. The best part is, in case you did not like any of the shit i mentioned above, the bong chick alone makes the movie worth watching! :D :D

PS: to read a more balanced view on this movie, head over to Panky's blog!

Funde

2012-04-27T10:46:00.000+05:30

...

Zindgi to apne dam pe jee jati hai ...

Doosron ke kandhe par to janaze nikalaa karte hain

...

Chicken Soup For The Indian Couple's Soul - Book Review

2012-04-18T23:20:00.000+05:30

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

What happens when someone gives a you a free book to read? You grab the opportunity and read that book for free! :D After all, recession hai bhai, paise jahan bache bacha lene chahiye! :P

I always wanted to read a book from the Chicken Soup series, but never really got a chance to do that. In case you have a brain as large as a crow, let me explain the concept of Chicken soup series to you. Chicken soup books, unlike typical books, are not novels. It is rather a collection of several shot stories, written by different authors (or budding authors), inspired from their real life stories.

And that my dear friends, is the best part about this book. Pick this book up, read one story and then go back to work! This book comprises 8 sections and 101 stories, written by scores of authors from different genres of life! Though the same thing also becomes the achilles heels of the book! Due to multiple writing styles, and limited space available to each author, the book is written in a fairly simple language, and at some places it sounds fairly amateurish. So this is not the book for those hoarding up novels and books for their CAT/ GMAT Prep.

Coming to the real topic of the book - Chicken soup for the Indian Couples soul - it is fairly evident from the title, that this book is all about pyaar, ishq aur mohabbat! :D You know, shaadi and all season going on *wink wink*, so such books are good to read :D

In its 8 sections and 101 stories, the book tries to cover all aspects of relationships - right from beginnings, middles, endings and new beginnings! Most of the stories in the book will touch your heart, even if you are a borderline romantic! Though some of the stories look like they were written by people of our parents generation! :D No, you cant relate even a bit with them, and then there were some where there is an actual Karan Johar movie in the making!

But then, there are a lot of stories where you will find you head nodding, and relating the story to your or someone you know's real life.

Though, there were some shortcomings in the book, which I hope the author works at in the next bowl of Chicken soup! Firstly, the stories seem a bit too sentimental, as if written for the purpose of making the female reader consume 10 boxes of tissues in one go! :D Secondly, some of the stories are a bit too idealistic, as I said perfect K Jo movie material. And lastly, it gets repetitive after a point, you kind of start expecting what's next in each story!

But nevertheless, if you are a hopeless romantic, or want to read some inspiring stories relating love, relationships and life, then do go of it! I give this book a rating of 342 out of 459!

“Nobody is perfect, but in love people can be perfect for each other.”

Life in a Metro

2012-04-14T23:31:00.000+05:30

Before I forget, those who liked the review of the book - The Five People You Meet in Heaven - can buy it from Flipkart from this link .

I guess from the frequency of my blog updates during the past one week, you all must have understood my workload (or the lack of it) in the new job! (Touchwood :P ). So, when my friends made an impromptu plan to meet up this Friday, I was first to say yes! And upar se, new job being in Gurgon, helps me cut down my journey time by 1.5 hours to meet my college friends! Woopie!

Anyways, logistics always gets the best of me. I had no means (almost) to come back home next morning! So, whats better than taking Delhi Metro after a long time!

Metro rides always interest me, and I can never get enough of it! Delhi metro is basically different corners of Delhi packed into tiny little metal boxes. And trust me, after travelling in cabs for 5 days a week, and driving in a traffucked city like Delhi for the remaining two, metro comes as a good respite! More so, if you are travelling from Gurgaon to Delhi, on a weekday morning - which basically looked like moving to Antarctica to spend winters! Ekdum fulltoo khali dibbe! :D (atleast when I boarded the train!)

Though, it still looked like metro could do good with flavor infused vaporizers in the bogies, to remove the ever settled stench of sweat! By God, within 7 stations, Delhi metro started looking like Mumbai local! There were few thousand people entering and exiting the train at every station! Itni junta kaha se aa rahi hai Delhi me bhai !! Koi langar laga hai kya yahaan! :D

Anyways, I then realized that it is such a stupid system, that I have to travel to Rajiv Chowk if I have to go anywhere and everywhere from West Delhi by metro! Gurgaon to Uttam Nagar is such a circular route, covering almost all parts of Delhi, including the dreaded Rajiv Chowk! And then we say - saala Rajiv Chowk pe kitne sare log hote hain. Are saalon, jab Dilli ki har metro Rajiv chowk se hoke jayegi, to rush to hoga hi na! Sigh!

We desperately need a line connecting Dwarka/Uttam Nagar with Gurgaon as well! Though I was able to find a better workaround to this. I got down at AIIMS while coming back from Gurgaon, and then took a Red Bus straight to my home! Was much simpler than travelling all across Delhi to reach my home.

Anyways, why did I start writing this post? Oh yea, because I have too much free time to blurt out any random bakar I want to... :D

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Book Review

2012-04-11T23:10:00.002+05:30

Firstly, as it happens in the movies, lets get the credits (or as Indians say - numbering) out of the way! :D I would like to thank Deepali for gifting me this book! God knows what you were thinking when you selected this book for me! :P

Frankly speaking I got a little confused by reading the short summary of this book, as it looked some sort of philosophical self-help book (which I totally abhor by the way!) from its back cover! But ab kya karen, gift mila hai to padna hi padega! :P

Anyways, once I started reading the book, I totally fell in love with the way of writing of the author Mitch Albom. The author has written the book in such a simple language that it becomes a nice cab time read.

The story is about the life of one Eddie, the maintenance man. Actually no, the story starts when Eddie dies and his body goes in a funeral casket! Yeah, the story is about his after-life! After dying, Eddie reaches heaven. Surprisingly, the heaven described in the book is not at all like the one shown in Hindi mythological movies :P !

Eddie's heaven had no clouds, or bikini wearing angels, or people playing musical instruments! According to Mitch, everyone has his own version of heaven, and Eddie's heaven was Ruby Pier, where he was born, brought up, worked, and finally died! And then, the story took a weird turn!

Eddie meets a blue colored man, who used to work here when Eddie was a chota baccha! He welcomes Eddie to heaven, and describes the concept of heaven to Eddie!

Every new person meets five people from his life in heaven. These five people describe key life turning events to the newbie, and help him make sense of the events that the person never understood in his lifetime! Blue man was the first life turning point in Eddie's life. Cutting the long story short, little Eddie once ran across the road, just in front of Blue Man's car. Blue man swerved the car in other direction. Eddie lived, whereas the Blue Man died! :( Neither of them was related to other one, but because of Blue Man, Eddie lived! And because of Eddie, the Blue Man died!

PS: Blue Man was actually a man with blue skin. He was a joker of sorts! :P

Anyways, one by one, four more people come to meet Eddie, in chronological order, from his chotta baccha age to his old age.

Author has done a very good job in selecting the five people, with the fifth one being the most surprising and providing the sense to the whole story! I really liked the ending where I was like - o teri, to ye hua tha! :D

Even the way this book is written is really nice. On one hand, Eddie is moving around the heaven meeting his five people, on the other hand, after every few pages, there are a couple of flashback pages associated with these people, bringing the sense of the story and the conversations between the past, and the present!

In short, the book provides a detailed description of what Shree Shree Steve Jobs said in one line in his Stanford commencement address " Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward ... but it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. ... you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life" Sigh! Satyavachan, I tell you!

And thats what this book has tried to implied in so many pages. Everything, everywhere is connected. Its just that we don't know it yet!

In short, I liked the book for its readability, way of writing and the fictional message its trying to give. Do read it if you get a chance ! I give it a rating of 435 our of 542!

The world is full of stories, but the stories are all one...

General Updates

2012-04-08T11:58:00.000+05:30

Life has turned pretty monotonous these days. Actually monotonous is an understatement, boring is the actual word. It has been so long, I haven't even had a proper daru night even! :P

Weekdays are spent in the usual home-office-home schedule, and weekends are gone doing the small-small marriage preparations. Getting married is a tough job i tell you! All weekends in the past one month have been spent looking at different venues, tasting food, and basically driving around whole Delhi! Kabhi kabhi to man karta hai, raste me 10-10Rs me cab-walo types passenger bhi bitha loon, thode petrol ke paise recover ho jayenge! :D :D

Ab to lagta hai chat mangni-pat byyah concept hi accha hai! Neither would you get too much time to decide things, nor would you get confused alternating between too many options. Phew!

And then when you get into the middle of the things, you get to know the operational problems associated with the things (frankly which you never thought about!). Transportation, lodging for out-of-station relatives, arranging cheap daru :P et al ! Actually, logistics are a big problem if you live in a traffucked place like Delhi, where even going to a paan ki dukkan at the nukkad will take you somewhere between 30 minutes to 3 hours, depending upon traffic! :P

I like the concept that was followed some 15-20 years back during marriages - there were huge Dharamshalas around wedding venues, and everybody used to stay in them during the whole marriage week! Sala, parking, transportation, logistics - sab tension khatam! :D Hopefully, those times will come back in 10 years, when a service like Airbnb comes up in India as well, providing service apartments for rent near venues!

Anyways, yahi problem hai research industry me kaam karne ki - Aadmi har cheez me bekaar ka dimaag lagane lagta hai! :P Occupational hazards you see! :D

Chalo then, too much boring bakwaas from my side. Will come back next week to vent out more, and tell more marriage stories! Tab tak ke liye - Namaskaar! :D

In case you use Facebook

2012-04-02T13:07:00.000+05:30

... you should read this article

What looked like a April Fool's joke, I am afraid, isn't one. The application in question is known as "Girls Around Me" and is free on the iTunes app store. It is a typical stalkers app. Open the app, hit a button, and you get which all girls have logged in on Facebook or Foursquare near you! Complete with their photographs and public information!

To quote from computer journalist John Brownlee's article on how this app works,

Girls Around Me is a standard geolocation based maps app, similar to any other app that attempts to alert you to things of interest in your immediate vicinity: whether it be parties, clubs, deals, or what have you. When you load it up, the first thing Girls Around Me does is figure out where you are and load up a Google Map centered around your location. The rest of the interface is very simple: in the top left corner, there's a button that looks like a radar display, at the right corner, there's a fuel meter (used to fund the app's freemium model), and on the bottom left is a button that allows you to specify between whether you're interested in women, men or both.

It's when you push the radar button that Girls Around Me does what it says on the tin. I pressed the button for my friends. Immediately, Girls Around Me went into radar mode, and after just a few seconds, the map around us was filled with pictures of girls who were in the neighborhood. Since I was showing off the app on a Saturday night, there were dozens of girls out on the town in our local area ...

In short, nobody is committing any crime, but some people are just intelligent enough to process and analyze our publicly shared information to derive 2+2=4 ! And the bigger problem is, while sharing our interests, personal information, location etc, we are not able to think that how can someone combine them to form a meaningful pattern!

As explained beautifully by Charlie Stross, all social networks run on the principle that if you're not paying for the product, you are the product.

The problem is this: all social networks run on the principle that if you're not paying for the product, you are the product. They operate as profitable businesses because they encourage users to channel their social interactions via their network, perform data mining on the interests that users disclose, and present the users with advertisements tailored to their interests (which are consequently much more likely to result in a successful sale).

However, to make such micro-targeted advertising practical, the social networks need to motivate their users to disclose information relevant to advertisers. There's no point marketing bacon to Jews or Muslims, so religion is relevant. There's no point marketing turkey to vegans or wheat products to coeliacs, so dietary preferences and medical conditions are relevant. If a user is a member of a subculture associated with a distinctive clothing fashion, that information is relevant to garment vendors. And so on. So Facebook, Orkut, G+ and so on all attempt to induce their users to maximize their self-disclosure and to tie their accounts to as many useful third-party information sources as possible.

You may have noticed that Facebook provides privacy controls, for those who are sufficiently worried about stranger danger to want some illusion of control. Unfortunately the vast majority of people have no idea how widely visible "show to all" really is, or that it might enable the users of apps like "Stalking Targets Around Me" to identify and track them. And it is not in Facebook's commercial interest to promote the use of privacy controls. If someone is using the privacy controls with all the settings jacked up to 11, it becomes very unlikely that long-lost friends and relatives will be able to make contact with them through Facebook. Which is a lost advertising opportunity, and therefore detrimental to the revenue stream.

We are encouraged to over-share, for commercial reasons (just as we are encouraged to over-consume, but that's an issue for another time). We are discouraged from imposing reasonable limits on access to our shared information, again, for commercial reasons. (And the mechanism employed for discouragement is a combination of benign neglect and ignorance on the one hand, with behavioural marketing on the other—"if you tell us where and when you went to school we can put you in touch with your long-lost high school friends!")

Enough said... Facebook is Evil !

Samsung Galaxy S2

2012-03-22T12:59:00.001+05:30

Touch wood! But my folks are pretty awesome!

So as you all know, my birthday is just around the corner (to be precise Saturday, 24th March, and yes, I am accepting gifts in advance! :D ) Unlike boring parents of some of my very boring friends, my parents do not believe in gifting stupid deodorants, perfumes or clothes on my birthday! Yey! :P

We are a gadget loving family you see! :D

Last year, it was my beloved Kindle ! This year, it is Samsung Galaxy S II !! Woopieeeeeee!!!! To be honest with the numbers, each one of my mom, dad and sis holds 33.33% equity in this gift!:P

Now let me show-off the phone a bit, please! :P

In my humble opinion, this is the best Andoid phone I have used till date!! With 4.27 inch super AMOLED capacitative touchscreen, and 1.2 GHz dual core processor, you can not not play Angry Birds on it the whole day! :D Oh, and if that wasn't enough, this phone has an 8 MP back camera with LED flash, and a 2 MP front camera, just in-case you want to do a video chat through phone!!

As they say, vigyaan ne bahut tarakki kar li hai ! 5 minutes back, I downloaded an application, which utilizes the back camera and LED flash to measure my heart rate!! Just need to keep my finger on it for 10 seconds! Phew!

I was just looking at the spec sheet today morning, and was amazed by the fact that this tiny little phone (I am just kidding, it is huge!) has 1 GB of RAM in it !! When I bought my first computer in college in 2003, my PC had a RAM of 256 MB :P . No wonder, I could never play Angry Birds on it! :P

Its just the battery life of this phone (with the gigantic screen), that makes me miss my old Nokia at times! With heavy internet usage, both over wi-fi and 3G, the phone needs recharging at-least once a day!! Whereas, my Nokia used to remain alive for close to 3 days, with regular calls and Tweeting !

But then, there is no point buying such a feature rich phone and not exploit it fully ! Sigh!

Anyways, let me use it for a month more at-least, before I review this phone fully. Hopefully by then I will have the latest version of Android - Ice Cream Sandwich - on it, as it is currently running on Android 2.3.3 ! :(

Till then, go back to work! Jab dekho time pass karne chale aate hain! :D

PS: You can buy Samsung Galaxy S II from Flipkart.com as well !

Jantar Mantar - Jaipur - Travelogue - Part 2

2012-03-17T13:02:00.003+05:30

Read Part 1 of this Travelogue here (click)

Just outside the back-gate of City Palace there is a ticket counter.

Just outside the ticket counter, there is a small dirty board which says that we could have bought a combined ticket for both Jantar Mantar and City Palace and saved 10 Rupees!! Ise kehte hain kangaali me aata geela! Recession time me 10Rs ki keemat tum kya jaano Suneel Babu! :P Why cant they put this board on the front gate of City Palace?

Anyways, just next to the ticket counter, there is an entry gate which points you to the engineering marvel of 1730s - Jantar Mantar!

Jantar Mantar - Jaipur

For some context, Jantar Mantar, as my Delhi friends call it – Aandolan Point, is present in multiple states of India. It is nothing, but a giant clock, based on the current position of Sun!

Since we were running low on the budget, we didn’t hire a proper guide to guide us!
Expert Tip – In all such places of historical importance, always look out for firangi tourists! These guys tend to hire guides, who can speak loud enough to make Rakhee Sawant run for her money! :D Bas, fir kya tha, we started walking closely to a firangi group to get some free ka gyaan! :D (haan haan, ab aap kahenge Chindi Chor saale! :P) But as fate would have it, wo firangi saale Jaapani nikle, aur unka guide pada likha!! :O He was muttering stuff in Japanese aur hamara kat gaya! :( :P :P

Anyhow, we moved ahead and started reading the letters on the wall, and clicking pictures with the round, curvaceous things! (Not chicks you dirty minds! The instruments used for measuring time :P ) Suddenly, we found a chowkidaar walking nearby, and we asked him to click a group picture of ours! Somehow, he guessed our financial condition (from our clothes I guess :D), and straightaway asked us – Guide nahi lia kya? And then like typical Punjabi relatives, he took the onus of explaining the whole place to us on himself!

But trust me, this chowkidaar was much more educated that all my history teachers combined!!

So coming to the real gyaan, Jantar means instrument and Mantar means Formulae. When you combine them, you get the meaning - calculation instruments. Some old King – Jai Singh Ji of Jaipur, built 5 such Jantar Mantars across India (Including Saddi Dilli Wala Aandolan Point bhi!) However, Japiur’s Jantar Mantar is by far the largest Jantar Mantar in India. It even has instruments to predict Sun-Signs and has different sun-dials for each month and season!

If we trust out so-called guide, this whole garden can accurately tell time at an accuracy of 2-3 seconds (Jaipur Standard Time!)

That's me, pointing to the shadow of that stick, depicting time !

Most of these details will be boring for you guys, but ek engineer ki nazro se dekho, building such an accurate instrument in 1730s, without the help of a Pentium 4 machine is nothing but a miracle!! It won’t be wrong to say that I was mesimerised by that place. I came home and read tons and tons of articles about all Jantar Mantars in India! Saala, itni padai college me kari hoti, to I would have been in place of that truck I showed you in the last post! :P :P

Anyways, if you trust the keepers of this monument, every year, astrologers come to this place on a specific day, and tie a small flag around the top of the largest instrument. The direction of the wind – as predicted by the flag – on that day, provides the basis for the weather and crop forecast for the year!

Aur kahan hum excel sheets le ke forcasting karte rehte hain! :P Bhagwan ki marzi kabhi excel ke hisab se thodi chalti hai .. Sigh! :D

I guess that is enough gyaan for you all guys to process in a day! :D

Let me break this post here, and I will be back with the third post in this travelogue – Visit to Nahargarh fort – Jaipur

Jaipur Trip - Travelogue - Part 1

2012-03-14T23:55:00.000+05:30

The best part about being a bachelor is - you can make plans in 5 minutes, fill up your tank and drive 5 hours straight to Jaipur! No thinking required! (Almost :P )

So the other day, me and few friends headed to Jaipur, JLT!! :D

This was the first time I was driving to Jaipur, so we started at a very odd time from Delhi to beat the traffic. But saala, during our whole brainstorming session (of 5 minutes :P ) we forgot the biggest jerks on the roads! TRUCKS!! Daimn! Trucks were sprawling across whole Delhi-Jaipur highway!!

But ki farak painda hai yaara! Jaha 4 hours lagne the, waha 5 hours lag gaye! But driving on the Delhi-Jaipur highway is really awesome! There are few patches where construction is going on, but rest of the highway is - as they say Malaai ki tarah chiknaa! :D

On a side note, have you ever observed, how some of the trucks look like big-fat-junk-food-eating-obese-classmates ?? No? Nevermind. The image below exactly resembles one of my big-fat-junk-food-eating-obese-classmate! :D :D

Guess karo Mech 07 walon!

The best stretch in terms of driving starts 50 kms before the main Jaipur city! As soon as you are about to enter Jaipur, there is a divider separating the roads going to the Jaipur city by-pass and main Jaipur city. Always take the route going to the main Jaipur city. This might take you a bit more time, in case of peak hours, but man!! This route is beautiful!

Anyways, we landed in Jaipur in wee hours of morning and went to sleep within 30 minutes of reaching there! :D

Actually, we were staying at a friend's relative's place. They had arranged for beds for us in their guest room. So like nice (and extremely tired kids!) we immediately went to sleep!! ZZzzzz! :D A long 5 hour drive, coupled with the fact that we had a full working Friday, made sure that we couldn't have stayed awake for more 15 minutes even!

After we got up and had a nice (and heavy!) breakfast, (bhayya, bina petrol ke to gaadi bhi nahi chalti :D) we headed out for sightseeing!!

Jaipur main city is a pretty crowded place. It took us close to an hour to reach City Palace - the main attraction of Jaipur! The City Palace is huge !! I mean like really huge!! Saala, itna huge hai ki hindustaan ke ek palace me poora Romania fit ho jaye! :D :D

Just the courtyard of this palace is larger than size of my home multiplied by 25!! :O Raaja ke tashan dekh-ke apni garibi pe bahut dukh hua mujhe us din! :( :P

Anyways, good that I didn't take KD to Jaipur, or else, she would have added one more place in her list of dream places to get married ! :D :D

Anyways, City Palace is a must visit on your tour to Jaipur. If you are lucky, you might catch some cultural events or some green events happening in the main courtyard of the palace. Also, make sure you visit the archaic textile factory just outside the City Palace, for some authentic Jaipuri type clothes! Mostly chic stuff, so guys beware !! :D (if you wanna read more about the history of this place - here is the wikipedia link!)

PS: Yeah, yeah! There are no pics in this travelogue. Ab bhai, main koi bond photographer to hu nahi. Na hi mere pass Rs 30,000 ka SLR camera hai. Google kar lo, Jaipur sabki photos me ek jaisa hi dikhta hai! :D :D

... coming in part 2 of this travelogue - Visit to Jantar Mantar, Jaipur !

I Can't Get This Bloody Song Out Of My Head !!

2012-03-11T18:00:00.000+05:30

Teri Aahatein - OST - Ek Main Aur Ek Tu

Have heard this atleast 20 times since today morning!

Relationships

2012-03-06T21:54:00.000+05:30

You can not summarize relationships better than this image !

Ladko ki hamesha watt hi lagti hai!

The only words I could utter after viewing this image were - So True, So True!! Sigh..!

Anyways, you must be wondering - ladka pagla gaya hai, kaisi behki behki baaten kar raha hai :D

Ab kya karen bhayya, zindagi ne hi aise mod pe laa ke khada kar dia hai :P ... I have started my downfall from a khulla saand to the poor guy in the image above! :O

In short, I had my Roka Ceremony the other day!! (old post link) In case you didn't know (which means you are a non-punjabi reader! Cheee!) Roka is a small ceremony, where parents of the dulha-to-be and dulhan-to-be say official YES to each other, and exchange some fruits and sweets! Bole to chintu, moonh meetha karao, ladke ka rishta pakka ho gaya hai! :P

If you ask me, the feeling is yet to sink in! Suddenly all the equations change on the stroke of midnight! No more chup chup ke milna, no more secret dates, suddenly everything goes so formal! Phew! Jo karna hai sabko bata ke karo! Jaha jaana hai sabko bata ke jao! Ye jeena bhi koi jeena hai bhai!? Bataiye bataiye!?

Ab kabhi shareefo wale kaam kabhi zindagi me kare hi nahi, to thoda ajeeb to lagega na! :D

Anyways, now you know, what's keeping me busy these days! Blame her for my absence! :D .. that is, if anyone noticed that i am missing from my blog! :D

Moron Watch # 2 - Facebook Photos Edition

2012-02-20T21:38:00.000+05:30

Nope!! There isn't any dearth of morons in this world!!

Its just that, there is some 'stuff' that was keeping me busy from the past couple of weeks. More on that later !

Anyways, why do you think people click pictures? To create memories, right? Right! So, we agree till this point. Now why do people share pictures? To share memories. Simple!

Now my question is - who would you want to share your honeymoon memories with? Or rather WHY on the earth would you want to do that?? Every time I open Facebook, I find myself staring into a badly taken picture, with the guy holding the camera in his right hand and his nayi-naveli-dulhan in his left hand! More than 50% of the space in that picture is taken by the new-grooms arm (with a wrongly spelled tattoo of his ~~girlfriend~~ wife's name on his wrist!). And most of the times, the poor wife is pushed out of the frame with only her one eye and half-a-nose making into the picture!! :D :D

Now why would I or someone else want to see that?

Sharing wedding pictures is cool, as you give an opportunity to the lazy ones to witness your wedding from the comfort of their own bedrooms! But honeymoon pics!!

From what I remember, few years back there was a news about a couple from some PDS K R Puram sharing their pre-marriage honeymoon video! It didn't go very well with their parents, teachers and friends i guess ! :D

Ab bhaisahab, aap apne honeymoon pe jaake gaaiye, bajaaiye *wink wink*, ya naachiye! Hame aisi bakwaas fotos dekhne ki koi iccha nahi hai! :D

As they say - Every idiot with a camera is a photographer these days, and every idiot with a camera and a new-new-wife is a Moron in the making... :P

The Secret Letters Of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

2012-02-13T16:18:00.000+05:30

I guess most of you already know my love for the book - The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari (those who don't should read that post) :D

So, when guys from DigiImprint Solutions offered me the next book written by the same author for review, I could not say no! Come to think of it, I have never said no to anything free :P

Secret Letter of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

Robin Sharma, the guy famous for selling millions of copies of his previous books, writes in such a mesmerizing yet simple tone, that you won't feel like keeping the book down. Though, it took me about 15 days to complete that book, partially because of my own hectic schedule, but nevertheless, I guess most of you guys can wrap this book up in one long sitting of 4-5 hours!

Frankly speaking, this book is not for every one of you reading this blog. This book, in particular, targets only those people who think that they have pretty much screwed up their personal life in the quest for corporate success. The book presents an exaggerated case of Jonathan Landry, a work-o-holic, who has pretty much screwed up all his relationships and friendships in life, because of spending 25 out of 24 hours/day in office.

...and then enters - the savior cousin - Julian Mantle! Julian is the guy who sold his Ferrari, to gain mental peace!! Can you fcuking believe that!!! :O :O :P

The savior cousin sends Jonathan on a around-the-globe-in-three-weeks pre-paid trip, to collect some Talismans, and associated pieces of parchments, containing words-of-wisdom related to these talismans.(before you google, let me tell you all Harry Potter fans - NO, talisman is not Hindi translation for Horcruxes :P)

The book gives you a simple message - "Have a good work-life balance guys! :D", but in the form of a story. The good part is - the protagonist has to travel to a new country to collect each talisman - and the writer has intricately described the beauty and the culture of each place, that you will immediately start Googling details about each of the country/city/place mentioned in the book!! Oh yes, there is a mention of India too, and the inevitable - Taj Mahal! The beauty of the book is that the Words-of Wisdom, the Countries and the Cultures are so well woven in the story, that you will never wonder - Abe, ye kya hua :D

During the course of the book, the protagonist is also updating a journal (with pen and paper, imagine!!) to jot down his thoughts, after getting gyaan from each parchment! In short, he was writing a paper blog!! (how 1990ish! :P ), which, eventually becomes a balance sheet of his life, and helps him in getting his life on track. Of-course we all love happy endings!! :D

But then, there is a short twist in the end, which I am not telling you here!! :P

Go buy your own copy to read that!!

I would give this book a rating of 474 on 629 ! That my dear friends, falls among - A Good Read category! :D

Yuvraj Singh

2012-02-05T22:35:00.001+05:30

... or Yuvi as we call him ... is my second favorite player in the world. First one being Sehwag.

I seriously am pretty agnostic towards the usual big-wigs of cricketing world, be it some oldie scoring 100 tons or someone taking 10 wickets in a single test match.

Its the rawness, flamboyance and aggression that makes me follow these two guys! And out of the two, only Yuvi has all three of them, Sehwag still lacks in the flamboyance department! Some qualities are inherently Punjabi, you see!

Seeing Yuvi's condition - cancer at 31 !! - I can only wonder about God's screwed up plans and our helplessness in front of him. Seriously God, what the hell were you thinking? There are way too many people across the border, who deserve this shit, but not Yuvi!

Here is me, wishing Yuvi all the luck in life for a fast recovery. Hope to see you on the field sometime this year, and hit 6 sixes to every baller who has ever crossed your path!

Bye bye winters !!

2012-01-30T11:40:00.006+05:30

Finally, Delhi is witnessing a bit of sunshine these days! yey!!

Although winter season is my favorite time of the year, but this year, saala kuch zaada hi ho gaya! Actually 'kuch' nahi bahut zada ho gaya! Along with the God-damned single digit temperatures, this year Noida witnessed strong winds as well!! Saala itni zabardast thand thi baahar, ki rat ko ek baalti paani gira do, and tadaaa!! Subha tak ice-skating ring tayyar! :D

By the way, since we are talking about winters, I just remembered good old school days! Actually, I could have published this incident in my upcoming book "Winter survival guide for engineers", but for the benefit of the public at large, let me share with you my best winter trick here (for free)! :D

BTW, needless to say, this is going to be a guys-only type of book! (waise bhi, engineering colleges me ladkiyan hoti hi kaha hain :P ) and you will be able to buy it from Kindle store! :P

Actually, as you must have guessed, being a guy, and an engineer, and that too from a hostel only college, I am water-o-phobic !! (yeah yeah, my vocab is shitty, if you know the right word for it, write it on a paper, and shove it up your... :P) Anyways, moving on, so I have never been too fond of taking a bath, and Delhi winters just reinforce my belief in the fact that - only dirty utensils need washing! :D

Although, rest of the stuff was taken care of by applying deo like they do in AXE advertisements, but somehow, I was never ever able to make my unwashed hair sit and adjust properly on my head!! Eventually, a few of them stood up in protest, and that too around the epicenter of my head!! Damn! Ab dekho bhai, punjabi khoon hai, badtameezi to kissi ke baap ki nahi jheli zindagi me! :D So the scissor in the pic used to be my weapon of mass destruction! Jo saala aawaz uthayega, kat ke washbasin me beh jaayega :D !

Eventually, when the winters ended, the hair around the epicenter of my head were remarkably shorter than the rest of the head! (and no one could find a solution to this puzzle :P ) Though, there are several American universities researching on the same, and you can exclusively read their results in ToI !

And trust me, this trick hasn't failed me till date! Pehle pyaar se baal bithane ki koshish karo, warna **insert Akshay kumar-esque pervertish laughter here** :D

Anyways, you guys must be thinking why such a long and boring post, and that too suddenly out of nowhere? This is just to tell everyone, once and for all - I am not going bald, it's just that the fucking winter season just ended! :D :D

Moron Watch # 1

2012-01-09T11:02:00.000+05:30

Since this blog was created with the vision of insulting people (FAQ), let me carry this tradition further with pinpointing few more idiotic incidents which I witness in daily life! (Yeah, I am mean that ways! :D )

So exactly how much effort does it take for a person to climb up to first floor using stairs? Tough question!

Daily, (well almost daily) I see a cute chick wait for approximately 8-10 minutes for the lift (its a busy building you see). Finally, when she gets into the lift, she very carefully scans all the buttons inside the lift! (Actually I feel she is either dumb or dyslexic, and gets confused seeing so many numbers! :D ) After scanning the numbers for approximately 30 seconds, she presses the button for the - wait for it - First Floor!!

Every singly day, she repeats the same ritual!! And every single day, I am like What the Fuck dude!!

So the first Moron Watch award goes to the Lift Girl !! Taaliyan!! :D :D

... for spending 8 minutes 30 seconds waiting for the lift, every single day, instead of taking the stairs, which would take her less than 30 seconds to reach her office!! And secondly, getting confused with the button numbers every single day! As they say, beauty and brains... ... :D :D

Beautiful Beautiful Words

2012-01-03T21:24:00.002+05:30

I always refrain from writing not-so-happy stuff on this blog, but sometimes, you read something so true, something with which you can relate so closely, that you just can't refrain yourself.

I know I can never write so simply and yet so beautifully, so I am going to paste few lines written by Om Malik on his tech blog. Most of you reading this, won't be able to relate to what he is saying, but the ones, that are leading a broken life like me, will surely feel the emotion in his words.

When my life hiccuped, like it has for so many others who go through similar events, I was wondering if it would ever be same. I wasn’t too thrilled with how things had turned out. I was forced to deal with life’s unpredictability and unfortunately there isn’t a manual for dealing with that. You just have to get up every morning and deal with it. Sometimes it is depressing and sometimes it fun. But most of the time it is just a state of existence.

Sigh.. indeed.. it is just a fucking state of existence...

Bye Bye 2011

2011-12-31T08:55:00.000+05:30

Finally, we bid adieu to 2011 ! As some people are saying, today is the last day of the second last year of this civilization! (Remember, the world is going to end in 2012 ! :D )

For me, 2011 had its own shares of ups and downs. However, if we compare it to the recent past, 2011 screwed up a bit more than others! But anyways, the story of my life still remains the same, and will be in the near future - roz sala yahi sochta hu, bas bhagwan ye wala exam/ye wala deliverable/ye wali client call paar karwade, baaki sab to life me chill hai! :D

Yesterday only I was contemplating, how the year started - with me in the Icelands of Romania - where i made a sheet of paper with couple of resolutions, and tonnes of To-Dos ! And how, the year is ending today, where forget about the resolutions, even my To-Do list feels ashamed of me! :D Anyhow, there will be no resolutions this time, no to-do list - bhaad me jaaye sab kuch - but just a tiny philosophical thought!

Life is too short to give a crap!

And trust me, this one tiny line, is the answer of life, universe and everything! :D One moment you are there, and the other you are not! So better live that moment, rather than creating flowcharts and supply chain diagrams for that! :D

Happy New Year!

Chalo then, ending the customary new year post with the epic party dialogue!

Khana to kutte bhi khaate hian, Insaan bano, Daaru piyo!! :D

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous New Year! Party hard, be safe and remember 1st January is not a working day! ;)

Related post:
1) New Year 2010
2) New Year 2008

Dilli Ki Sardi and Christmas !

2011-12-25T10:37:00.003+05:30

Seriously, I love this song - Tadpaaye tarsaaye re, saari raat jagaye re, pyaar tera, Dilli ki Sardi!! :D :D

And since Delhi and Winters are two of my most favorite things in the world, so that makes this song all the more special! :)

Anyways, I have heard that today is Christmas! Sigh, one more festival falls on weekend! Kat gaya! :( :( Oh, by the way, I was just scanning all the Christmas wishes on my Facebook wall and Twitter feed, and there has been a remarkable decline in the number of people wishing MARRY Christmas this year! :D Did government of India secretly launch "English Speakna Seekhen" institutions all over the country? :D

Or is it recession, that is forcing people to correct their bloody english atleast? :O (old post link)

Anyways, Teri vi Xmas, te, Meri vi Xmas.. Sabnu Xmas diyan lakh lakh vadhaiyan!!

Coming back to the original topic of Dilli ki Sardi, one of my friends, Srinivas, summarized recent change in Delhi's weather beautifully in one line - "And the Delhi temperature just dropped from 'Awesome! Delhi winters are here' to 'Dude, it's not funny anymore'..."

Every year, Delhi's honeymoon period with winters lasts only for a week! And then, it gets horribly, horribly cold out there! And yeah, foggy too!! Last week, I was returning from vacation, and it was so bloody foggy down in Delhi, that we barely saw the ground 2.834 seconds before the plane touched down! Wo to bhagwaan bhala kare us pilot ka, bas 2-4 foot ka estimation galat hota, and we would have landed on somebody's rooftop in Dwarka! :P

There comes a day/moment/point every winter season, when i start to believe that the super romantic winter season is over, and the horrible horrible phase of Delhi winters has started! And sadly, that moment is always in Loo ! Ewww!

Ab hum kaam kuch bhi karte ho, but dil se to engineer hi hian na bhai shab! :D Why the hell nobody thought about connecting geyser to the loo!! Warm water from the geyser is available for bathing, on the washbasin, but no sir! We don't give warm water for cleaning your backside! Damn!

last resort! :D :D

60 years of freedom, 2 trillion engineers manufactured every Year, but no one, and that includes me, no one ever thought about this! Blasphemy! And we cry about India shining! Sigh.... Ab mujhe hi kuch karna padega, aur fatafat use patent karwana padega :D :D

Secondly, this thought hit me yesterday night, while sleeping! Why are quilts (blankets/razais) about 6 feet in length? People like me, who want to tuck some part of their quilts below their feet, need about 7 feet of quilt! I am really really uncomfortable, if some air seeps in near my feet! So to make perfect closure, I tuck about half feet quilt under my feet, and then I cant tuck in the blanket under my head!

I cant create a perfectly sealed cozy enclosure for my sleeping! :( :( (that is without curling up as a baby bear! :P )

I am thinking, I shouldn't be publishing all these fantabulistic ideas in the open like this! These ideas have the potential to make me the Funsukh Wangdu of the future! :D

Chalo then, once again wishing you all a Merry Christmas! May a sizzling hot Santa climbs down your chimney tonight and gives you a gift of your lifetime! :D

The Indiblogger Delhi Meet

2011-12-11T21:43:00.002+05:30

After declining a ton of invites to attend Tweetups, Wiki-meet ups, Aandolans, Hunger Strikes and what not, (you see I am so busy! Like I am the KRK of real world :D ) I finally chanced upon a Blogger Meetup page on the Indiblogger website! I have always, like ALWAYS, wanted to attend one of these blogger meets.

You know we keep on hearing stuff about these bloggers, who get a chance to publish books, who make trillions of dollars (yeah, that is like 1 followed by a loot of zeros! :D ) by just writing on their blogs, but never see such real life cases! (Or atleast I didn't come across any in my life). Finally, I can cut that one off my bucket list! :) I never thought people make so big with blogging! I have been blogging for 6 odd years but even earning pennies with my blog still remains a dream! Sigh!

Close to about 150 odd bloggers turned up at the Indiblogger HP Originals meet, and I must say there was a great mix of people from all walks of life! There were writers, poets, army men, students, software guys, air traffic controllers (!!!), entrepreneurs, full time bloggers, government guys - you name it and we had it ! I can proudly say, that I added about 20 new blogs to my google reader list today! :D

After coming back from that meet, I came to a conclusion - my blog is as haphazard as my life!! People are so focused and particular about what they write on their blogs (and what they do in life :P ) ! And similar to what constitutes my life, this blog is also full of mindless junk! :P Nothing is going nowhere! :D Whatever that means..

I even came across some very good new blog/website ideas during the meet! There was one guy who sells one liners to T Shirt companies!!! Although, most of them were typical techie bloggers, some were writing healthy recipes, one was creating a list of best dating sites :P (i guess he was joking!) , one was giving consumer rankings to different new products, and then there were a couple of girls who were into make-up/fashion blogging! Sigh!

And then there were some like me, who write about anything under the sun :D. Jo dil kare wohi likho - Ki farak painda hai yaara! :D On a serious note, we guys - the personal blogger category - rocks! Period! :D

Frankly speaking, I had a lovely afternoon, thanks to Indiblogger and HP, and would love to attend their meets whenever I get a chance!

Wo kehte hain na - We blog, therefore we are! :D

Make some noise for the Desi Boyz

2011-12-04T08:00:00.001+05:30

... English thumke, dil ki rhythm pe, maare jam jam ke.. Desi Boyz !

One word - Loved it !

Desi Boyz Logo

Directed by comedy king David Dhawan's son Rohit Dhawan, Desi Boyz is another brainless comedy, with a pinch of emotion and a truckload, or rather shipload of Hot Chicks! :D Bhai Sahab, just ogling at the hot-hotter-hottest background dancers, and sidekicks will make this movie paisa vasool! Rest everything is a bonus!! :D :D

The movie ropes in recession of 2009 - unemployment, economic crisis, blah - to form the foundation of the movie! And then sadde munde - John and Akshay - decide to try the alternate profession of male strippers! Agreed that John is a horrible actor, but in front of him, Akshay was looking like - what I will look in front of Akshay! :D :D Sookhi Haddi! :D

Best surprise in the movie was Sanjay Dutt ! Although his role was very short, but bhai ne poora tashan maara hai un 10 minutes ke role me bhi! There was a nice background track with cool wordings for Sanjay Dutt, I am not able to find it on Youtube :( If anyone finds it, do give it to me!!!!

Last but not the least, super hottie Chitrangada Singh!! Who turns out to be Akshay's Ex-Classmate-But-Now-Teacher-Cum-Girlfriend !! Complicated hai na!! Just see the first 10 seconds of the video, and you will realize what I am talking about! :D

I liked the first half of the movie much more than second half! Maybe because first half is a roller coaster with movie running at a rapid pace, while the second half (as usual) has some sentiapa! Akshay again tried giving his Namaste London like short speech praising India, but it came out to be pathetic :P And before i forget, I love Deepika's dimples!! (And her smile too! :D :D) Shes too cute man!!

And with this, I leave you to hear this lovely song (and to see some firangan hotties! :D ) !

My fav song from this movie!! Subha hone na de...

My rating ***/5

Sometimes I get so jealous of sadda Johnnie baba!! - He doesn't know how to act , I don't know how to act; His dialog delivery is pathetic , My dialog delivery is horrible! Saale ki kismat hai fir bhi - He gets to earn tonnes of money while just dancing around firangi models, whereas I get to sit 12 hours a day typing shit on a computer! :( :( :( .. wo kehte hain na, upar wala meherbaan to John bhi pehelwaan :P

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