My Story, My Feeling...

i'm weird, yes i know.

2011-12-13T15:30:00.001+08:00

hello, i'm back. after abandoned this blog for such a long time, ~~again.~~
have no idea what to write, as i usually like to keep my opinions in the bottom of my mind. sorry, but it doesn't mean that i'm selfish and don't like to share things with others.

sometimes (oh no, i think most of the time) people just couldn't accept your thinking, and perhaps we just want to act according to public preference, not to go far away from the ~~stupid yet boring~~ social norms. so people won't think that u are weird.

"just be yourself" always Sound easy, really. you won't get the chance to do somethings and voice your own thought as what ourselves want/like, seriously. you got to twist/edit a bit before u actually show up any comments, in order to please people (and to cheat them too, since they only love to listen "sweet lies").

hmm, we can ignore those people definitely; but to be pathetically speaking, we always surrounded by those people ~~expecting~~ our actions and words to go accordingly with their ways, following their rules. everything seems like already Fixed, where u cannot make any changes.

if i "just be myself", do whatever i want, people will just say i'm irresponsible, not taking care of other people feelings.... hey! but first, do u care about my condition? No. i just want to confess myself honestly to people, but they said i hurt them; okay, then i just become my typical poker face (remain silent does not mean i'm stop fighting for my pride, i just don't want and not interesting to argue with these ~~narrow-minded~~ people) so sadly, "just be yourself" is just a Dream to me after all, which cannot be realize in the reality.

enjoy life. yea, sounds fun and great; but someone just need to be Strong and Tough enough to face unpredictable and uncountable challenges first, non-stop struggling and protecting yourself, not to be defeated easily. the most important is, be Thick Face!

无题

2011-11-03T10:44:00.000+08:00

觉得自己很一无是处，到底该拿这么笨蛋的自己怎么办呢？

='(

Recently :)

2011-10-13T11:46:00.001+08:00

Hi all!!! i'm back again, after slacking for a few days =P

Recently, my life is HAPPY& SWEET & SATISFIED!!! Trying to improve myself to be a POSITIVE GIRL, always remind myself to appreciate everything and learn from others as much as possible~ ^^

Currently, i'm keen to go every where to taste Delicious Food. And, oh ya, talking about food... ~~OMFG~~!!!! i'm getting fatter now since i start my "OL" life, Big Sigh~~~~ My weight is getting Higher and HIGHER (aiya, really no eye to see, i dare not stand on the 体重秤器 NOW)
What to do wor? Had try to work hard and exercise to get back my slim slim body shape , but i give up after 3 days.... ~~OMFG~~ again!!!!!
I still love food, enjoy eating and tasting different and special recipe, ~~especially those Western Food~~... non-stop making me craving for them.
Okay, i'm learning to CONTROL myself, but every time my stomach and appetite just REFUSE to cooperate together when the food is served in front of me. =="

Our relationship is kinda sweet and peaceful now, will manage and maintain it to last longer ^^ By the way, he is also getting fatter now, as both of us like to go try out new restaurants/hawkers, experience and discover new food and recipe. Both of us share the same appetite too. Oh~ Satisfaction fills us, Happiness "kills" us! Heheh~
Last saturday just went for a dinner to celebrate his grandma's bday, i met all of his family members already including his relatives. Not bad la all of them, every person possesses different kind of personalities...

Learn to Accept, be Flexible! (these are the important life lessons which i had learn recently ^^)

Don't always say ~~"ngo jip shau ng dou lo"~~.

Every thing and person certainly got their good and bad sides, open up ur mind and view things widely, u may find out more interesting parts behind the appearance.
Don't judge a book by its cover ma, right?

Listen to people first before u voice out ur personal judgement; Open up ur heart to accept and absorb people's comment and opinions.

Never put a "Stop" in ur mind where u always reject others' thinking, who knows u may learn extra new knowledge and found ur inspirations through their words and experiences :)

Hmm, the most important is "Just be Yourself" la~ We are beautiful for who we are, Confident please!!! Smile and tell ourselves: "天天好天!" Even if it happens to be a bad start, work hard to overcome the challenges. Improvement brings out the best of us; Encouragement gives us the most precious chances! Once u are still not giving up, there are certainly a great number of opportunities awaiting for u. 活着就有希望, so let's SURVIVE! let's Dance in the Storm, just like the flowers trees and grasses~ :D

Yesterday, i came across with this quote from fb, so Simple but MEANINGFUL!
"The BEST part for being Flawed is to become Better."

This is another one i got it from my friend =)

Brand New Start

2011-10-03T20:43:00.000+08:00

Hi~ XD

Hello, my ~~POOR~~ Blog! Finally I'm back. So, after more than ~~ONE YEAR~~... oouuuwwww~ I Am So Sorry for the Abandon!!! Now only I pick up the mood to continue my bloging life again, hehe! Hope it won't sounds too late la, blek.

Today is just a briefing la, not going to say too much at here.... Let my recent photos do all the talking la, more interesting right? lalala~ Recently, I am HAPPY and SATISFIED, hehehe~ But, oh no! I'm getting fatter and fatter, sigh~ eat too much, enjoy too much d... Keep on ~~indulge~~ myself with all those Good Food and Sweet Sweet Dates *oh, shy shy* Anyway, Life is Just Once. So, do ENJOY life and feel the HAPPINESS all the time~ True or not? haha :)

Genting Highland

Straits Quay

Happy ^^

Gurney Parkson

"Joker" =P

"Zombies" at the back!

My Dear Lion <3

No Regrets 吧。

2010-04-01T20:52:00.005+08:00

最近才发现自己到底适不适合 accounting...
不知道，盲目跟从，继续试着走到最后看看吧！
third year 即将来临，
真让我有点不知所措；
尤其是又有个“关心”我的 senior 给了一些忠告。
唉~ 金玉良言 hor ，谢谢啦！
谢谢你为我增加烦恼咯。哼~
不过呢...
只要想到我毕业戴上那四方帽的瞬间，
啊~ 一切辛苦都是值得了吧！

朋友说我总是愁眉苦脸的，
老是看起来满怀心事的....
常听到人家对我这么说：
“做么这样凶？笑一下嘛”
可是，我真的有这样难以亲近吗？
对不起，我也不知道我发呆的表情竟是如此的吓人啊...
我会改，
我要记得戴上“笑脸的面具”来迎接人们。
我会改，
我要懂得控制自己难过的情绪，进而懂得掩饰自己，
免得困扰惹恼他人。
我会改的！
just "Dont mind Dont mind"，
对不对啊？（笑）

嗯，不知该怎么说的，
最近的我总有点期待你在线上。
谢谢你陪着我聊了很多很多，
我真的感到很窝心呢！
所有的不开心都被抛开了，
而且我也从你那里学了不少。
真的真的，
我很期待每一次与你的谈天;
很希望，
我们能一直这么维持下去。^.^

迷惘

2009-11-18T18:22:00.004+08:00

對人生是否得貫徹正面還是負面的觀點,
讓我總覺得矛盾與極端.

樂觀嗎?
是自欺欺人.

悲觀嗎?
是欲求不滿.

到底或應該抱持著什麼樣的態度才是正確的呢?
........

現今社會裡, 可沒有"絕對"這回事的存在.
*黑白之間, 尚有屬於灰色的地帶.*

I'm Back!

2009-11-13T22:29:00.005+08:00

Hello guys!
Its been a long long time dint update my little blog d....
sometimes just don't know what to write at here,
please forgive me =P
everything seems like just happening around,
but when its come to the time for u to record them down,
people will just kind of lazy to actually type it up!
so, that's what we called, “犯贱” la...
LOL!!!

by the way, these following weeks ago,
i was so so so busy to complete my stupid yet important 20% coursework.
see the marks, damn FEW right?
what to do, u still need to submit it afterall.
so u got to spend whole days to sit in front of your laptop and non-stop finding those sux information and continue doing your stupid research work until u find those info that u actually want and which is suitable for u to use in ur cw!
Really Really DAMN IT~~~~~
my eyes almost poked out already when non-stop facing the screen (Ah, radiation~)
my skin condition also getting even unmoisture coz lack of sleep (OH, My Dark Eye Circles... >,<)
Haizzzz...
No choice, that is a "Typical Student Life" right?
especially for the one like me who always love to practice "last minute" style... *shy*
nevertheless, its only help for ppl like us when jobs come around!
That's the only time u may boost up your Brain Turbo to actually carry out ur stuff.
(haha, quoted from my fren, but it does sound TRUE enough! XD)
So, every time is like this...
this kind of study life keeps going on within its Natural Cycle,
all of us slowly getting tired frustrated and miserable;
at last! when all the things are over,
we feel Relieved!
Wow~ that's the only moment what we hv always waiting for,
and finally, IT COMES.....
Holidays~~~~~~~ YEAH!!!!! *Phew*
It is over, finally its OVER.....
Bye la, sucks coursework~
and now, its the time for me to prepare my presentation again.
(Haiyo, works are like coming coming and coming which is unavoidable!)
we cant run away neither....
oh yea, Life is Tough hor~ for sure.
Fellows, remember!
"Stay Strong and Undefeated as possible as you can." =)

Its Hard to being a TEACHER....

2009-10-14T20:42:00.004+08:00

為人師表, 就一定得依照別人所想那樣清高至上嗎....
人非聖賢, 孰能無過?
有時候, 人類的過錯遠比功勞來得"可貴";
因為人們總是只會'雞蛋裡挑骨頭'嘛.
老師難道就不能犯錯的嗎?
為甚麼人人老是要在他們身上加諸一些莫須有的"罪名"?

Is it so funny to see people suffer under your non-stop complainant?
SO RIDICULOUS!!!!
People who are complaining usually tend to forget one word called, "Appreciation".
知足常樂, 四個字蘊含著簡單卻富有意義的人生道理.

看似平凡, 但是人們心有餘而力不足啊!
物質慾旺盛的世界, 早已把祖先們遺留下的美德一一埋沒;
人性本善嗎?
雖'邪不能勝正', 可'善'亦不能永存....
只因為人類是最厲害/也是最容易被煽風點火的動物.
"一張白紙, 被染色的機率是很高的."
它就好像, 人類的心...
那麼有些原則上的堅持, 到底能持續到幾時呢?
做人, 還真是困擾啊~

A Great Night Trip!

2009-09-26T12:27:00.007+08:00

It was Thursday, 24/9.
We went to gurney GSC watch "Tsunami at Haeundae".
The movie was nice although the effect of tsunami looks a bit fake;
but, after all, it is truly a touching story.
Even the poster there also have such quote:
"How are you going to use this 10 minutes just to save the one you love and care the most?"

Hmm, ya...
I'm so touched with it, and i even wonder that,
"Do I willing to sacrifice myself to save somebody if there is really no choice but need to do so?"
I was keep wondering,
but helpless..... Sigh.
After the movie, we went to Coffee Island to take our dinner.
The scene was very nice and beautiful at there,
I was amazed by that, people may create such romantic yet wonderful place for customer to take their time and relax.
I even thinking of creating one for myself in future later!
Haha, just create it in my day-dream la.... =P
Anyway, it was really a wonderful night with you, my dear~
Hope there will be another trip like that.
Haiz, if only i can..... T__T

Colour that i like...

2009-09-11T23:27:00.004+08:00

我喜欢蓝色，
尤其是那种带点淡淡的忧郁的色泽。

天空般的湛蓝，
太耀眼，并不适合孤僻的我;
大海般的深蓝，
诡异莫测，我并不是那么阴险算计的人;
摩登般的蓝色，
高贵典雅，靡丽时髦;
我看来是衬不起这种瞩目的焦点。

平淡的，
幽幽的，
愁眉莫展的，
苦涩的......
这样的一个淡蓝色，
带着些微细雨绵绵的心情；
我喜欢，
毕竟也只适合这么优柔果断的我吧。

Prom Night PTPL

2009-09-06T14:48:00.007+08:00

Yesterday, i went to my college's prom night at Hotel Equatorial.

Hmm, not bad la... at least i still can get some fun at there... wee wee!
But then, a bit boring too lo.... haha!
Anyway, it still leaves me a precious memorable day in my life.
I was so enjoyable to make-over myself, felt really satisfied about it....
Its a kind of experience that i ever wanted to have,
and finally, i got the chance to do so!
YEAH~~~
I'm so Happy about it!

Holiday is going to end SOON...!

2009-09-01T22:43:00.005+08:00

假期即将结束，
我的心倍感惆怅，忏悔地哀悼美好时光就此逝去；
新学期的开始，
我慌乱地为之忐忑不安，却也为之雀跃不已。
脑海里总会排山倒海似的转动着各式各样的问题：
我会遇上什么样的讲师？
我会面对多挑战的课业？
我能否与人相处融洽呢...
我会不会......又再被别人冷落一旁呢？

每一次，每一次，
重复又重复；
一边倒数着重要日子的来临，
我的思绪日渐沉重，就连呼吸的规律也渐渐急促。
是我想太多了吗？
但我就是没办法让自己冷静下来，
让自己顺其自然地去接受...
我就是非得把自己搞得如此紧张，难以入眠，
才能从中得到.......解脱吗？
我习惯性地往坏的方面去想，去忧虑，
这样至少能平复我异常紧张的心跳与呼吸。
与其当头面临幻想破灭的惶恐与憔悴，
还不如先预测自己该有的遭遇吧。
人们总是说我太悲观了，
但我只能借以此举来抚平我的...兴奋期待；
我最讨厌“欢喜一场空”了！
真是受不了这种希望落空，绝望难堪的感觉...
嗯，对啊~
这就是我的本性......
我的人生哲学。

兴趣与理想

2009-08-31T12:17:00.006+08:00

兴趣是个人的嗜好或热衷于某项事务，
但这并不代表可以是将来的理想。
好比说...
我喜欢音乐，我喜欢唱歌跳舞；
但那只不过是我闲空时的个人娱乐，并不代表我能因此而发挥我的专长。
我喜欢时装潮流，化妆打扮；
但也并不代表我一定得成为有名的服装设计师或是造型师。

我发觉到，
有很多人往往在追求理想的同时，迷失了原有单纯的自己。
明明当初的喜欢，却变成现在永无止境的追求完美；
那感觉像是埋没了自己，天真美好的自己。
在城市的霓光灯的闪烁下，人们逐渐忘记了原来的轨道，对自己的梦想的热衷诚恳......
所以...
唱歌是要唱出自己的心情与心声，
但是比赛却要去砖研当中的音律与精髓；
对我来说，这根本是在对某人“鸡蛋里挑骨头”吧！
时尚是个人品味，那是独特的个人风格，无可取代的；
但是设计师偏偏得把自己搞得焦头烂颅的，只为了要设计出令人满意畅销的服装。
装点人生的兴趣因此而随波逐流，渐渐失去原来的热情光辉......
但是，
兴趣如果能成为自己的理想，那应该是美好的吧。
只要看到自己能够带给大家幸福的笑容，
相信一切的辛苦也是值得的，甘之如饴的。
“要坚持自己单纯的信念！”
我总是这样安慰烦躁的自己啊~ =P
大家请加油努力地奋斗吧。

三千絲 = 煩!

2009-08-30T23:21:00.002+08:00

Hmm, i really don't know how to make up with my hair...
Wanna fade up with it liao la*Grrr!
How am i going to change to let it become better, nice looking?
People always say that my hair seems like unable to grow;
actually it does grow, but in a very slow rate lo.... Haiz!
Please...!
I really want to look better, at least i keep on trying to do some improvement on it.
I always thinking of got to do something with my hair, but usually just have no idea where should start with. =,='
Image and appearance is really that important for a person huh nowadays~ (simply cant deny it)
I don't like to be 随波逐流, i always wanted to be unique and have my own personal style.
Adui~ Can somebody just give me any good idea about my HairStyle? :s

LONELY GIRL

2009-08-30T13:56:00.000+08:00

Only now that i realized i don't have much friends with me around...
Why? i don't know myself...
Is it i'm not the type that can hang out together happily?
Is it i'm too boring to chat with? (but, i admit it)
Sometimes, things and comments just poke out in my mind, but i could hardly speak out my opinion.... because i scare, it may hurts the person.
So, mostly i just keep quiet la, although i have many many comments to share with;
anyway, i just cant letting myself to do so.
And so, people usually may find out that i was mostly remain quiet during the whole conversation, and that's why... boring la.

I feel that its bad to say bad words about people, but usually people (including me) will just cant stop themselves from gossiping right? So if it is possible, i will choose to listen rather then discuss upon it la.
Hmm... i'm a good listener, yea~ (Sigh)
Today, my mom was keep on asking me why u dint hang out with ur friends? Then i answered her that i find no friends to accompany with.
Yea, no suitable friends, no true friends to actually hang out with.
Weird huh me, but its true.
Sometimes i would like to go shopping by myself, at least i can hanging around by myself, can go in any shoplets that i want to, and yes, the most important is i want freedom!
However, shopping alone may sounds lonely lo of course....
Haiz! don't know what the hell i want *Grrr
As a conclusion, most of the time, i just prefer to stay at home;
watching my favourite Japanese Animations, reading my books (Comics, Novels, Magazines... i cant live without them! LOL), playing FB games (recently getting addicted liao), and SLEEP la (easily to spend ur time espeacially during the bored bored holidays) =P
Haha, that's the way how i spend my day, when i'm young now. *shy shy*
My mom always scold me that i'm so lucky already la, no need to bother about the money's problem, no need to go work, no need to bear the family's burden;
Young girl like me should learn how to cook la, know how to tidy up the house la, becoming hardworking and self-responsible so that later if i'm married then i can easily handle things without hesitating and fade up la..... bla bla bla.
Actually still got a lot to say, but i lazy to tell d =P
I know i know, every youngster faces the same situation as i do.
Haha, wat to do, listen la until u get bored! (wahaha) and then go back to sleep, we just try to get rid ourselves from being "mentally torture" and relax urself in the sweet sweet dream or watever things la! (Hohoho~*swt lo)

Oh, hey man!
boring la........
Really boring. =,="
That's why, ~~I HATE HOLIDAYS!!!~~

演戲般的友情

2009-04-04T23:09:00.000+08:00

在我所接觸的朋友當中, 他們讓我見識了另一種"友誼的全新說法".

原來表面上的和樂融融, 竟然都是虛假的!

背地裡, 你竟然會聽到如此的解說:
"唉, 我還不是被逼的!"
"什麼?!"
"哈哈, 不然你以為什麼? 我只不過是在跟他'演戲'而已."

著實看不出來, 因為他們的關係實在太好了!

難道如今人與人之間的相處竟已落得如此田地?

在這現代化的社會裡, 難道已經沒有"誠懇已對"的友情存在了嗎?

好令人悲哀的相處之道啊!

可是, 不得不否認的, 我們大家時時刻刻都得戴上無形的'面具'來面對每一天......

每一天, 虛假的人際溝通方式.

倒數 (一個很有意思的故事)

2008-12-02T22:22:00.000+08:00

從事投資顧問的我，從來都很愛自己的家人，愛自己的伴侶。
至少，我以為是這樣。
我每天的主要工作是緊貼著香港及美國股市，就是這樣，已經花掉大半生時間。
餘下的時間就安置在情人、朋友、及家人身上。
為了《愛得太遲》的內容，為了對家人、情人的內疚感而流過眼淚，但淚痕風化後，仍雖繼續為「將來」而賣命。
為了《無事常相見》的歌詞，為了曾被冷落的好友而眼淺過，但深呼吸一口氣，還是要營役餘生。
為了未能抽空回家團年，為了未能抽空陪女朋友驗身，我們竟花得起寶貴的時間來冷戰。
但我想，父母、伴侶，都是最親的人，應該會明白的。

我的生日快要來臨，但沒有期待過，因為，根本沒甚麼值得慶祝。反而，想一個人靜下來，享受一刻的寧靜。
在南丫島的度假屋內，我準備感受一個較孤單的生日。
在晚上，靜坐在度假屋的露台，沐浴在帶有點點鹽份的微風中，整個世界都變得很寧靜突然，我迷迷糊糊的聽見頗陌生的聲音，我再細心一點聽 ……原來，他在跟我說話：「 ……年青人，我希望今年送您一份很特別的生日禮物，甚麼也可以。」我想，我大概已經進入了夢境，跟神仙對話。我微笑回應道：「是神仙嗎？那…… 我真的甚麼願望也可以提出？」「對。」「那，我就希望有一雙眼，能夠看透每一隻股票升跌時間。」「沒有問題，那對眼睛已經給您了。」夢醒了，一笑置之。

第二天，回到戰場上，我看著升得頗急的「森力鋼鐵」，心想「它還可以升多少天」呢，突然間，有個發光的「 3」字浮在「森力鋼鐵」之上。
三天後，它真的插水式回落了。
原來，這份生日禮物是 ……真的。
我善用這雙上天賜給我的「眼睛」，在股票市場嬴了很多場勝仗。

不過，我已經有很多天沒有見過家人和女朋友了。
今天回家，一推開門，就向著自己的房間走去，隱約的聽見媽媽說：「明天是爸爸生日，你可以回來吃飯嗎？」不過，爸爸立即搶著說：「不用回來，你忙你的工作吧！」我放下了工作包，就走到客廳跟爸爸說：?「如果可以的話我會………」突然，我看見爸爸的頭頂出現了一個發光的數字……「35 」。我立即給嚇呆了。
之後，我慢慢回到房間，35天後，爸爸會……… 爸爸生日那天，我盡能力完成手頭上的工作，回到家，爸爸已經睡了。我在房間像小朋友的哭起來。
三天後，我請了假期跟父母飲早茶，看見爸爸的發光的數字是「34 」……原來，這是我還可以見他的次數。慢慢地，我也看見媽媽的頭上浮現了「45」這個數字。
原來，看著自己跟家人的相處日子在無情的倒數，心，是很痛，很痛的.

星期天，被我冷落了的女朋友終於來電，想見一見我。
我們就相約在又一城的COVA 見面，因為我記得，她很想到 COVA 吃甜品，但我一直未有時間陪她。
我到了好一陣子，她還沒有出現……半小時後，我看見站在大門口的她 ……頭上面出現了「1」字，我……還看見她身邊多了一個「他」。
這次之後，我們真的再也沒有見面。

一個星期後，我辭掉了工作，盡量陪伴在家人的左右，用儲下來的積蓄跟他們去旅行，直至爸爸患了重病 ……直至爸爸頭上終於出現「單位」數字。
最後陪伴爸爸的幾天，我盡量逃避正面面對他，最多也只是低下頭跟爸爸說話，因為我不希望看見「3」、「2」、「1」。
在隱約看見爸爸的「1」字那刻，我離開了病房，走到街上。在途中我一直淚流滿面，眼前的東西都已經看得不清不楚。
在醫院大門外，我看見媽媽，抹乾眼淚後，她的頭上竟然出現「 1 」字……媽媽…… 我轉身看著身邊的途人，全部都在頭頂掛著發光的「1」 ……我呆呆的退後一步，就看著馬路上的巴士撞向自己，來不及反應，我已經眼前一黑。

很光……很光……原來，已經天亮了……原來我還在度假屋的露台上.
多謝他的[生日禮物]....... 我想，我大概知道餘下的路應該怎樣行。
我們……是不是要看見「倒數」，才會懂得珍惜可以親眼看見他 / 她的「這一次」。

朋友：
就由今天起，每次與父母、親人、伴侶、朋友見面，就請珍重珍惜。
要學懂世事無常。
珍惜眼前人!

苦闷。烦恼

2008-11-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

人生總是在這種循環裡度過,
毫不給與休息的機會,
把每個人都搞得的身心疲憊.

爸爸的公司面臨困難,
我在小叔的眼神看到悲哀;
我在堂兄的神情裡見識到猙獰;
我在五叔的臉上察覺到野心;
我感覺到大家的煩惱,
可是我也只能遠遠的看.

媽媽的煩惱我也以只在感受.
她本身已經有病,
卻還要照顧兩位父母.
自己已經身心力竭,
需要好好的休息,
卻還要去負擔這一切.
雖說對方是自己的父母,
但是來日方長呢!
精神正在一點一滴的消耗著,
我真的好怕有一天她會先倒下....

現在,
我正從每一個親人的眼裡看到悲憤與無奈.
可是,
我想幫也幫不了什麼忙.
我也有自己的煩惱,
再加上家人的煩惱;
這幾天裡,
我只覺得好累, 心情好煩, 空氣很悶...

"做人, 真的很煩."

A Letter to My Father

2008-11-15T00:16:00.000+08:00

I don't know what have i done wrong, not even my mother and my brother....
"Dad, can you just kindly tell us, what have we done to you, until you always just simply get mad on us?"

Just wanna tell you, we are your family members, not your 發洩工具. We just cant and maybe will never understand why you just can change your mood so easily and we need to suffer it from you.... Is it your friends are so important to you than us do? Don't you even know that family members are the most reliavable persons in your life? Why you just always cant communicate well with us? We are readily to interact with you anytime if you can ever give out some smile on your face.... Do you know that sometimes we are scare of looking straight into your eyes? Still remember that last time when you are scolding me, you looks like a monster! I cannot forget about that day in my life, even mother also scare of you daddy.... We see no warmess from you, just felt fear and hatred on you.

Do you still remember last time you even ask this kind of stupid question, "怎樣才會快樂啊?" Actually this is your problem that you cannot really let go your pride and always like pretend that all the people around MUST respect on you. Is it the RESPECT really means too much for you? You just cannot make yourself live happily because you are not satisfied with your life now! We all know that, in your narrow-minded thinking, you just cannot let go of this kind of feeling: You think that you already work for a long time and now is the time for you to retired and rest, but you still need to FEED us all! To you, this is unfair right? You think that your 3rd brother now retired and living in the so called LUXURY way of life and you just want it so badly but you cant do it now! So after all, you keep on blame it on three of us... You think your children are useless, cant work somemore still need you to pay money for us.... Is it that so? But to tell you the truth, your eldest daughter is only 20 years old! How can you just force someone at this age level to work and feed you without any qualification on academy and working experience? Do you know that nowadays the certificate is really means so important when you apply for jobs opportunity? But you just keep blame on me and brother because we still need you to pay for our fees! Okay, I know it is quite expensive, but we will try our best to achieve our success and we will thank you on the days later. However, now you are like not so willing to pay these money and this make us feel even more pressure to study when compare to last time at school. This is because in our mind we will keep remind ourselves that we are USING your money (sounds more like BORROWING money from you) and we cannot lose... If not, we will be punished. Sometimes, I ever wonder, is it now the time for me to show my responsility as a eldest child to bear all the burdens for the family? If it do correct, then maybe I will just give up all my study and work to support this family. So, if this will make you HAPPY with it, dad, I will stop my degree course now for sure.

伴君如伴虎, 這句話一點也沒錯. All of the family members are scare of you now but we cannot voice out our fear, so we just keep it until it exploded to become hatred on you. This is not fake, but is true! Do you know that how many times already you have hurted you wife and you son and daughter? maybe you felt regret after this but you never apologize to anyone because you are the HIGHEST KING and we should always show our respectiveness and obedience to you. And after you regret of what you have done on us just now, the only thing you will do to us as AN APOLOGIZE is suddenly give us a lot lot of money!!! You think that who you are now? We are not your employees k... How can you just simply frustrated on us and after that give us this kind of your so called "隬補"? But then we cannot reject it because at the end we still need the money from you, so maybe this is one of the WEAKNESSES that you hold from us. Haiz, what to do.... 只好忍氣吞聲了.

Finally, DAD! we are your lovely family members, please don't ever show your angry monster temper to us again. Please, i begged you ok..... All we want is just a harmony and happiness family. We always hope that we might somedays can get rid of your "Domestic Violence". If you think that rich equals to happiness, then you are TOTALLY WRONG already!!! We want a family without stress and open-minded and can always make jokes around to make each other happy and laugh. So please can you open a bit of space on your "traditional-minded" of narrow thinking to accept all the modern things around you? If you just can ease out all this stress on you, you might as well enjoy and understand how to become a happy person in your life then. We are willing to guide you dad.... We sincerely waiting for your "CHANGE".

何謂失戀?

2008-11-13T18:16:00.000+08:00

失戀的感覺, 到底是怎樣?
我從不曾知道.
沉浸在熱戀中的自己, 只知道幸福兩字怎麼寫.

但是,看到我朋友痛苦的樣子,
還要強顏歡笑的撐著....
我不禁心疼啊!

雖然不能真正明白他的感受,
他的憔悴卻讓我總為他不知所措;
他的悲憤讓我深感惆悵;
他的長情也讓我為之感動......

每次看著他的日記,
我都好想哭.
可是也只能遠遠的看著他的無助,
我好想去安慰,
但是心有餘力不足.
........
看著他,
我難過.

夜市的下雨天

2008-11-07T23:24:00.000+08:00

小販們的心聲,
究竟還是無法傳達到天上去啊!
幾經辛苦的經營活計,
卻得時不時面對老天爺對自己"無聊的發脾氣"...

為了生活,
再怎麼無奈也只好忍耐下去.
對吧?
能有什麼辦法呢,
唯有聽天由命了.

"幸福的小孩"呀~
可要懂得知足常樂,
別身在福中不知福呵!

(P/S: 我應該就是那個"小孩"吧? 哈哈~~~)

"對不起, 我愛你."

2008-10-24T12:41:00.000+08:00

今天, 查看電郵的時候, 偶然發現了朋友寄來的:
一個很有意義的愛情故事.
它讓我相信, 這個世界上仍有真愛的存在...

《Sorry, My Lover》
他，忙于工作，每天早出晚归.
她，结婚后就辞去工作，每天呆在家里.

他，拼命工作，努力赚钱，为的是两人可以有个更好的未来.
她，辞去工作，全职顾家，为的是守护两人幸福的现在.

他很爱她，她很爱他.
他很老实，她对他在外面工作很放心，绝对信任.
她很独立，他对她照顾自己很有信心，绝对放心她.

每天夜里，当他夜归时，煲里还有温着地炖汤.
每天早上，当他起床时，桌上都有温暖的咖啡.

这样的日子，从结婚后开始，持续了三年.

她从不过问他的工作，只是知道他在越升越高，日子渐渐富裕起来.
他从不过问她的家事，只是知道家里井井有条，家庭依旧和谐幸福.

他不喜欢电脑，每天工作就对着电脑N小时了，回家决不碰电脑.
她不喜欢电脑，每天却在独处的时候对着电脑N小时，非常忙碌.

直到有一天，他接到一通电话......

"请问是陈先生吗？你的太太晕倒被送入院，她的子宫癌已经是末期了，请你来见她最后一面。"

晴天霹雳，他赶到医院，看着她悲痛欲绝的问她为什么不告诉他.
她看着他，对着他微笑，告诉他她爱他然后微笑着永远闭上眼睛.
他失去了生活中心，他失去了人生方向，他失去了他爱的她.
他后悔，他懊恼，他怨恨他自己，为什么没花多一点时间陪她，去了解她.

妻子出殡后，他独自回到空无一人的家里，厨房里不再有炖汤.
他坐在客厅里发呆，想哭却哭不出来.

这时，他看到了客厅里的电脑.
他想看看照片，这些他仅剩和她美丽的回忆.
第一次开启家里的电脑，看到桌面上有个叫《老公，是我》的文件夹，里面有1095个录影片段.电脑荧幕上出现了一张熟悉的脸孔, 扬声器传来熟悉的声音.
他的眼泪，终于决堤而出.

"老公，是我啦~~ 从今天开始由我陪伴你过吧! 不过你要答应我，一天只能看一个哦. 我们终于结婚了，你知道吗？能嫁给你是我一生最大的幸福，我会把每天发生的事情记录在一段录影日记里，几年后的结婚纪念日拿给你看，一定很有趣的~"

影片接下来就是她絮絮不休的说着一些生活上的琐事和他们之间的事情.
他看了看影片日期，那是结婚的那一天.
第一次，他违背了深爱的她的意愿，一个又一个的把影片看了下去.......

"老公，你很忙碌，要好好照顾身体哦........."
"老公，今天难得你陪我去购物，我好开心哦........."
"老公，一周年纪念日了，谢谢你的礼物，对不起还没能给你生个孩子，我们再努力吧......"
"老公，我身体很不舒服，不懂为什么常常会肚子痛，明天我自己去看医生好了......"
"老公，医生说我患上了子宫癌，建议我切除，你说他是不是傻的，我还想要孩子呐......."
"老公，我有乖乖做治疗的，药都有吃，不过我不要做化疗，剃了头就不美了，你一定会笑我的......."
"老公，医生又叫我切除子宫了，他说不然就太迟了，我痛骂了他一顿，这家伙不知好歹，总是要破坏我们的计划......."
"老公，我看我应该不怎么行了，请原谅我不告诉你，因为我想你永远记住我美好的一面，这些事情我自己来就好了......."
"老公，我们结婚都已经三年了，我想我是撑不住了，我不在后，你要好好生活，炖汤的食谱都在电脑里，咖啡的冲泡方法也在里面，一切都为你准备好了，你要好好学着照顾自己。"
"老公，如果你一天看一个录影，现在已经三年了，你应该习惯了没有我的生活吧？是时候把我收在回忆里自己走出来了，你的人生还很漫长，找个爱你和你爱的人继续生活吧。"
"老公，应该是这几天了，我知道时间到了。不过我猜想你应该不会那么老实一天看一个影片吧，看到这里你也累坏了啦，我也很累了，是时候离开了。记得，好好继续生活啊。你还记得吗？你说过你会爱我一辈子的，我也回答你我会用我的一辈子去爱你。现在我们的诺言都实现了，我要离开了，我的确用了我的一辈子去爱你。你也别难过了，你已经爱了我一辈子了，这样的我们，很幸福不是吗？.......最后一次了，老公，对不起，我爱你....."

看完了1095个影片，他不知道已经过了多久，泪水流了又干，干了又流。
打开窗帘，温暖的阳光照了进来，他对着晴朗的天空，轻轻说了句:
"老婆，对不起，我爱你."

態度

2008-10-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

一個人的態度, 真的能夠轉變得這麼快嗎?
到底是怎麼回事......
為甚麼昔日的笑容已人間蒸發?
為甚麼如今的冷淡竟是這麼無情?

怎麼人就是能夠變得這麼快啊?
快得令人不知所措, 快得令人難以接受, 快得令人來不及驚訝就已心痛心碎...

為甚麼, 為甚麼, 到底是為甚麼?
已經不知是第幾回了, 我的內心受了無數遍的創傷;
還來不及痊癒, 又有另一道新傷添進.
反反覆覆, 我早已遍體鱗傷...
可見, 我是如此的不堪一擊啊!

"對不起, 真得很對不起..."
不管我說了多少遍, 嘗試去贖罪, 卻沒有得到過真正的原諒.

我真的是不知道, 我到底做錯了甚麼;
但, 最重要的問題卻在於: 我是否真的有做錯了甚麼嗎?
我不明白.
為甚麼我總是不受人理睬?
為甚麼我總是得忍受別人帶給我的忽冷忽熱?
我累了, 我不想再這樣繼續下去了.

可是, 我們的人生裡是需要朋友的.
我已經努力去配合大家的喜好, 儘量去加入大家的話題當中;
但是, 卻得到反差的效果......
因為我的這番努力竟惹來人家的不悅, 甚至愈來愈討厭我了.
到底是為甚麼啊!
我這樣的去迎合大家還不夠好嗎?
我付出了這麼多, 但怎麼卻搞得好像我在作踐自己啊?

我好難過.
我真得很傷心.
寫到這裡, 我的眼淚難以控制的奪眶而出了.

"Home Sweet Home"

2008-10-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

家是溫暖的.
對, 畢竟有時候它的存在對我們來說是不可或缺的避風港.
但是, 對我來說...
它讓我有種想逃避脫離的感覺.

我的家, 表面是很幸福.
至少與其他人相比之下, 我算是過著那種'要風得風,要雨得雨'的無憂生活.
可是...
你若認為我一定很快樂, 那抱歉! 你猜錯了.
我的家庭沒有快樂可言.
凡事都得謹慎行動, 說話必須小心翼翼;
還有, 必須懂得'尊卑有分'的道理, 時時刻刻必須覆行'尊敬'兩字.
沒有玩笑可言, 每一天都得看人臉色過日子;
隨時都會遭受挨罵, 不管你有沒有真的做錯事.
你能想像嗎?
從小, 我就在這種所謂的'家庭管教'下長大.
直到現在, 我還是無法擺脫這種約束的生活方式.
唉! 誰叫我到現在還需要靠人養啊?
在成長過程中, 我漸漸學會叛逆周遭的一切.
因為, 我開始懂得怨: "我要自由, 誰也擋不了我!!!"
年少輕狂啊~~~
如今, 我依然試圖爭取那一絲自由的機會, 縱使希望是如此的渺茫.

所以,
究竟會有誰能夠真正了解那種悲哀無奈呢? 答案是, 沒有人.
沒關係.
我了解, 我諒解... 畢竟, 家家都有本難念的經.

承諾

2008-10-16T14:29:00.000+08:00

什麼是承諾?
顧名思義, 那是一種對人重情義而許下的答應.
美麗, 浪漫, 海誓山盟...
卻也能夠令人輕易相信的"美好謊言".

試問這世上究竟還有誰會去實現自己曾許下的諾言?
昔日的信誓旦旦, 為何現在卻無法覆行如當初呢......
只留下癡癡等待的人兒, 可憐楚楚的盼望著夢想實現的一天.
如今, 腦海裡不斷迴響的誓言早已漂迫, 早已成為回憶裡其中一段美麗的過去.

承諾, 是這般沉重.
所以, 最好別輕易許下諾言.
否則, 自己不但內疚後悔, 心碎受傷的是那個相信你的人.
千萬別傷害自己最心愛的人啊!