The Epic Blog of Awesomeness

Toss Your Balls Around

2013-10-08T21:07:00.005-04:00

I've been seeing a lot of videos of recent despicable occurrences at baseball games, namely those involve catching a ball in the stands. The worst of which was a grown ass woman taking the ball out of a little girls hands and cheering as though she won the world series, as the little girl walked back to her seat pouting.

It's outrageous and hard to believe this crap really happens. I always try to have more faith in humanity, but at times like this I find it waning. Nearly as bad, if you continue watching that video, she accepts a high five from another grown ass fan, who I can only hope didn't see her steal the ball. And now, as I watch my new home town team, The Tampa Bay Rays, I see a man nearly knock a young woman over to try to steal a caught ball.

I'll simply say this: I've always wanted to catch a ball at a game. Always. But if you one day see me catch a ball, keep watching, because you'll then see me turn toward the closest and youngest child and hand it over. I don't care how much you think the game means to you but that ball will be nothing but a cool memory. To a kid, it will be their world. Be a decent person and make a kids decade.

More on my recent move to follow at a later date/time.

I Got Moves

2013-09-13T11:32:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the prolonged absence. For those that have not yet heard, my wife and I picked up and moved to Florida.

Moving in as I type which is a recipe for disaster.

More to come shortly.

if(harder == better): mattyJoe = faster + stronger else: print("Epic Fail")

2013-05-20T00:44:00.000-04:00

So...the last time I posted I was about 310 lbs. That means I was pretty big. Like smallish house big. It just so happens that I'm significantly lighter nowadays, and this makes me happy.

For Reference

Lots of people have asked me how I've done it, so in celebration of my first run since infinity without an asthma attack, I'll post some details.

Firstly, my gorgeous wife, in a brilliant scheme to get me to realize how absurdly out of control I was, started logging her calories with an app by the name of LoseIt. Being the annoyingly curious individual that I am, I of course had to inquire. Shortly after that I started using the app myself. My first week went less than smooth. The first day, I managed to double my very generous calorie budget.

Budget Issues

The terrifying thing is, that one day was a pretty accurate portrayal of my daily eating habits. It's a miracle I wasn't large enough to merit my own zip code and classification as a land mass. The point being, the largest problem I had was my poor estimation of my daily caloric intake. I thought I was eating healthy, that I was doing a great job and was shortly to drop astronomical amounts of weight. I was right about the last part, but the first was purely delusional.

Using the app, I shortly gained control of my eating habits. For those that use similar situations and continue to watch your girth increase, I have some decent advice. Overestimate the quantity of food you consume and underestimate the amount of exercise you've performed. I wish I could say that this would give you some wiggle room, but in actuality, it's far more likely that you have been cheating yourself subconsciously because hard numbers and red bars make you feel like the fat kid in dodgeball again. Like you are picking on yourself.

So, for me it was pretty smooth sailing- until I exited the realm of morbid obesity at least. I dropped on average 7 lbs a week, without becoming anemic or faint. I know this seems off but I'm sure that this was not unhealthy weight loss. I truly feel that this was just a byproduct of morbid obesity losing its battle against reasonable eating habits. When you weigh 310 lbs and suddenly begin eating like a human rather than a medium sized farm animal, you cease to be a medium sized farm animal with the quickness.

Once I was down to a reasonable, non life threatening weight, it became considerably more difficult to shed the pounds. Where I was able to eat nearly 3K calories a few months ago, my budget is now 2K. I feel that for most people this would be reasonable but my eating habits are somewhat restricted due to my job and my strong affinity for shitty food. Side note: You can eat whatever the hell you want, but if you feel like having 4 donuts for lunch, I hope you are cool with skipping breakfast and dinner. Now it was time for a new thing: Exercise (ugh...exercise).

At first, I thought I could do the diet without exercise, but once the budget dropped, I found myself consistently going over. While it's ok to go over a day here or there, the key to loss lies in being at a calorie deficit come 23:59 Sunday. However, when you begin to go over every day, you need to fix things. One day, when I went over by 200 calories, rather than let it slide and try to eat less the next day, I decided to get off my slightly less fat ass and go for a walk. It worked.

In addition to walking, I tried padding the budget with as much unlogged activity as I could conveniently fit in. I park on the roof of the parking garage and take the stairs down and up, no matter how tired I am. I park in the farthest possible spot of the shopping center, which also saves me frustration and fuel from searching for parking. And while I do log it, when I get downtime at work, instead of sitting in the ambulance working on a sweet case of Deep Vein Thrombosis, I speed walk. I try to hit an hour on slower days and just go as long as possible on busy days.

A few weeks later, I find myself writing this post having gone for my first real run in forevertimes. Tonight I set out for a long walk with my podcasts and pup to keep me company. About 5 minutes into the walk, we had to jog to cross the street and I just didn't stop. It's not much for most, but for any fat guy, jogging 2 miles in 20 minutes is a reach. Suffice it to say, I consider it a huge achievement. And the crazy thing is...I fucking loved it! Word on the street is that running is way easier on your body when you don't have your own gravitational pull. At first I had some rough breathing and leg soreness, but I just kept going, and next thing I knew, the sweet sounds of The Hex Grid (an amazing nerd music podcast brought to you by Nerdy Show) were pushing me along. I didn't want to stop.

Having talked to my friend John Biffar, a marathonist and overall master of skinny-person activities, about getting started in the whole not sitting on my ass thing, I heeded his advice to listen to the body when my right hip started to feel a bit sore. I'm aware that these things will happen while my body gets used to moving for more than 5 minutes a day so I'm not concerned. Matter of fact, I have more energy post run than I did before and I'm pumped to go for a run tomorrow.

Another side note: Dogs don't get tired and that's bullshit. Humans have to constantly work on improvement to get their cardio up but my dog, having been sedentary since birth, ran the two miles without so much as sticking her tongue out or considering slowing down. It's a pleasant surprise but I had no idea that something with such little legs could be such a great running partner.

Emma as a wee pup. Not much bigger now.

Well, that's pretty much it. I hope it helps inform someone who needs it, or at least let's everyone know that I haven't found a miracle fat fighting drug. I'll include some links to the things I've mentioned at the bottom. If you have comments or questions not pertaining to my profound overuse of run-on sentences, I'd love to read them below.

I wan't to be the Tony Stark kinda nerd, not the Comic Book Guy kinda nerd.

LoseIt: You can find the apps on IOS and Android app stores, but the website is http://www.loseit.com/

Nerdy Show: http://nerdyshow.com/

The Hex Grid: http://nerdyshow.com/category/shows/the-hex-grid/

Returning to The Religion I Never Left

2013-01-24T02:04:00.002-05:00

I hope this will help others understand my feelings about religion. It also serves to let people know what I have been up to lately. In it's original form, this was a post to www.reddit.com/r/judaism

Hello friends,

I was hoping for some advice. I was raised by a conservative secular family, if there is such a thing. When we attended Temple, it was conservative egalitarian temple, but we only did so on the high holidays. Being that religion was so minor a part in my life, when I came into manhood, I strayed from the path.

For a time, I became agnostic. Then, for a short time, I thought I was an atheist. Sometime late in my college years, I became very scientific, and found that science does not contradict religion. To the contrary, it supports it. The collective force of energy that ties us all together, that cannot be created nor destroyed, is the manifestation of G-D to me. I formed what I thought to be my own religion, without ceremonies or prayer, but a religion of understanding.

At 26, I became a Freemason (I'm 28 now). Although Freemasonry isn't a religion, it requires that it's members believe in one everlasting G-D. Additionally, while it does not force it, it asks it's members to be religious, and to find their unity with G-D, by whatever name you call him. This made me look into myself and helped me feel a unity, a bond with Hashem.

This past week, my uncle Al passed away. This is nothing to mourn as he was 99, completely mentally with it, and embraced the ending of his life. I'm sad he no longer walks this earth, but he has impacted my life tremendously. My wife (not Jewish but very supportive) and I attended the funeral, and returned to the family's home to sit Shiva. They being modern orthodox, performed the home services, which my grandmother urged me to take part in. I did, but did not understand a word. The men walked to Shoul to observe Shabbos, while the rest of the family prepared the home. I went with them.

While not understanding it all, the beauty of this all, the services and the family time and Shabbos observation over dinner, filled me with joy and desire. My uncle Al, his following, and the family he loved, have inspired me to finally find my place in Judaism.

What I need now, is advice on how to do it and where to start.

I must say, I still consider myself a Diest. I feel that all religions are the representation of the one true G-D, and that his love is best understood differently by different cultures. This is why I can still find beauty in a Catholic Mass, or in the reading of the Koran. But I find that I best feel his love when being a practicing Jew.

I also don't feel G-D is a sentient being, but a universal force. But the only way for our minds to align ourselves properly and communicate this force is through dedicated prayer. I know this might put me at odds with some, but if you consider it, we are told Hashem is everywhere and in everything. In being created in His image, I feel that we truly are, but rather than that being a physical creation, I feel that it is the creation of the life force, the soul, which lies within all of us. I feel G-Ds love because G-D, the life force, is with me and within me always.

I hope I have given all a thorough (hopefully not too thorough) understanding of myself. I wish I could ask for specific advice, but having been profoundly secular for so long, I don't even know what questions to ask. I guess, in summary, I want to know how to return to the Covenant of G-D and Man.

New Year New News

2013-01-14T03:50:00.001-05:00

So...quite a bit has happened since my last post. Firstly, I've lost around 40lbs and thank god for that. Feeling that I'm still very overweight after dropping the equivalent of a medium sized child makes me realize how bad I had gotten. I still have about 50lbs to go and now that I'm not morbidly obese weight loss has slown substantially. If any of you are trying to slim down, I highly recommend loseit, which is an amazing weight management app.

I've been back to work for some time now, and hope to stay so for more than a few weeks without getting reinjured. My schedule consists entirely of overnights,which means I am involuntary nocturnal. As things have been absurdly busy, I've had very little time to study programming. What little time I have had to study has been put to good use.

Kelly and I moved into a much bigger, much nicer apartment. We're still in Port Washington, but in a more residential part of town. I have a fireplace now, so life is excellent.

Finally!

Things at the Freemason lodge are going splendidly. The lodge room looks great post renovation and I'm doing well in my new position. I've recently written a paper regarding Masonic secrecy, which was received very well in lodge. I'm happy to announce that a version of this paper was read in my favorite podcast: +Whence Came You? . I've gotten wonderful feedback from the reading and this makes me very happy. As the paper is fit for both Masons and non-Masons alike, everyone should feel free to CHECK IT OUT HERE.

As this is something of a reunion post, I won't go in depth into my nerdy goodness,but keep an eye open for comic, guild wars 2, dungeons and dragons, and tech posts in the future... unless I stop posting again.

Lastly, I'm writing this with my new Nexus 7, while also controlling my xBox with the same device. Technology is totally bitchin'. Sadly, I just noticed a faint scratch running vertically down the entirety of the screen and can't stop focusing on it. Guess I'll be taking a trip back to BJ's soon.

From Bikes, To Trains, To Video Games...

2012-09-04T18:18:00.001-04:00

So...the other day the wife and I headed to a Toys R Us to pick up a gift for a friends kid. I was actually pretty excited to check it out, as it has been maybe ten years since I visited my former favorite place in the world. I was in and out of Toys R Us so frequently that the staff new my mom by name. Most of the time we didn't get to buy anything but just being there let my imagination run, much like bookstores and comic shops do nowadays.

So, I convince the wife to let me check out the aisles. Knowing full well what was about to happen, she still said yes. This confirms her position as best wife ever.

My Wife Is A Power Ranger And Can Kick Your Wife's Ass.

Holy shit have toys changed. Things have become so much more intricate, and...mature. Sure there are the toys that are made for the kids with lots of money and minimal imagination, but most of the stuff out there is made to let the imagination run wild. Consider that the point of a toy is to be a tool used by the kid, to interface with an imaginary scene played out right in the living room. Or the toy might even be a representation of the kids themselves, friends and family included. If you add the smallest detail to a toy, it increases the scenes and situations that might be imagined exponentially. So when I say that kids have it soooooo much better, I truly mean it.

Holy Crap Awesome!
This armor never existed in this capacity when I was little.

While browsing (Kelly wouldn't let me buy anything...everything) I came to a realization. Toys are almost entirely related to TV heroes. This wasn't always the case. Sure there were cheesy action figures back in the 60's and 70's but this phenomenon was truly given life in the 80's. Transformers, the 80's cartoon, was developed solely as a way to sell more toys (the cart before the horse). The Real Ghosbusters (my favorite thing ever) allowed the world of the movies to transcend the screen and age group and enter into the living rooms and minds of America's youth. I would actually say that the cartoons are more important than the movies when considered as a pop culture element.

If you consider both of these shows, they both allowed for kids to create and take part in a world way beyond their own. When you got home from school, you could be the mastermind of technologically advanced aliens, or team up with your favorite paranormal investigator and strap on your highly advanced nuclear device to battle supernatural forces. But to play with these things properly, you really had to use your mind. There is no wonder so many nerds view these shows/toys as such instrumental parts of the culture. These toys allowed our minds to fathom actual science disguised as play time. Sure the foundations of the shows/toys have no bearing in actual science, but they do get the mind thinking scientifically.

Even Cats Need A Sick Ride

Thundercats was my first experience with fantasy role playing, well before I even knew that was a thing. Lion-o used the power of loyalty, bravery, and respect of his ancestors to battle his young emotional mind and stay himself from temptation. He did this by battling Mumra, the undead, cold hearted mastermind of evil. The toys of my youth were simple manifestations of these principles.

Mumra: The Evil Mummy of Suck.

Even the simple toys of our youth have been reinvented in a new capacity. It seems that being heroic is popular again. Thank the Deity of your choosing. This is really really good news. The future of our children lies in teaching life lessons in ways that are entertaining to the kids. Allowing this "Light Side" propaganda to permeate their lives is probably a good idea, unless your family is Sith.

Remember how basic legos were? Not anymore.

Jaba's Palace.

Complete With Sarlaac Pit.

If you consider that all of these things I've shown you are things that we nerds absolutely adore, then you'll soon realize two things 1) Nerd Culture is intensely popular, and 2) If nerds are regarded as the intelligent members of our society, then we are raising intelligent children. If we can keep our kids from the idiotic trappings that they find in high school, we can raise an army of nerds! Wait...what...eh whatever.

In seriousness, these toys represent lessons we teach our children. I say we as a society. So when it becomes anything less than cool or awesome to be interested and fascinated in these things, it signals a rejection or reformatting of these lessons. While this laying aside of childish aims can benefit the child and society, they shouldn't ever be forgotten or shunned, lest the lessons they represent be shunned along with them. Humans rely on representation and symbolism to understand the intricate belief system which society and culture consist of. Batman truly is a symbol (and I am Batman).

And Kelly Said My Car Wouldn't Fit Through The Doors...

The resurgence of these geeky things, be they toys or the randomly placed sticker, among the adults of society, bodes well for the future of mankind.

Found In The Mall Parking Garage.

As always, please become a member of the blog and leave your comments and questions.

See If You Can Hit This Retarded Anya Doll..."Yes, I Can Definitely Hit That."

2012-09-01T02:35:00.001-04:00

AHHHHH! MINI-POST!

The title of the last post was from the stellar comic book: ATOMIC ROBO. Read it or you suck.

~Warning: What follows is highly geeky DnD talk. Non-Nerds skip to end and/or develop a taste for cool stuff.~

Tonight's game was fantastic. If anybody is looking to play some Dungeons and Dragons with some distant buddies, I highly recommend http://www.rpgtableonline.com. It is still a little buggy but give it some time and patience and you'll grow to love it. The best part is that if you have a DnDInsider account, you can load your characters from the character builder right in. That way you can target, roll to hit, etc. without doing any math whatsoever. Math sucks, use RPGTable.

This post's title comes from one of the drawbacks of RPGTable. Some of the monster tokens didn't work so we had to use this generic Anya Doll (a doll like token of a little girl) as every enemy. We tested targeting...and it worked toward a hilarious result.

A brief summary of the game: We continued where we had left off, in the hold of a pirate ship. We freed the captured wizard, but before we could talk to him, we did a swat team search of the rooms and came upon a bunch of other...anya's. We killed them real good like, then took some loot, had a talk with the friendly wizard, and then....my brother cut off the captains head.

My seemingly well adjusted brother then proceeded to go above decks, throw the head at the foot of the remaining...anya's...and rolled intimidate (he rolled well). They let us into the life boat, but as they could not be brought to justice, they were either to be killed or let free. I couldn't deal with allowing them to possibly continue murder and pillaging (which is what we do...but in a good way) so when we were halfway to shore, i smoked the ship. With a ball of fire. And killed anybody who tried to flee. I swear...I'm completely normal. My mother had me tested.

~End Nerd Talk (Not really but sort of)~

So, what will follow in the coming weeks:

My nerdy thoughts on the RNC.
My nerdy thoughts on Atomic Robo.
My nerdy thoughts on Programming.
My nerdy thoughts on Doctor Who.
My nerdy thoughts about Podcasts.
My nerdy thoughts about SCIENCE!
AND
My nerdy thoughts on other excellent things (which you should be taking part in but are probably too worried about image to enjoy. Your loss).

I hope you'll enjoy it. It's going to be a fun ride.

I Just Used My Violence On Them

2012-08-31T18:34:00.001-04:00

Extra points if you can source the title. I'll let you know where it's from next post.

Anyway, It's been a long time since I've last blogged. Been trying to decide what I want to do with this and I've realized that my posts have been a little too long. On Reddit, we call it tldr. It stands for too long, didn't read; and it's something I'd like to avoid from now on. While I'll miss boring everyone with every aspect of my life, I'll do my best to keep it shorter.

Programming is going pretty well. Taking a new direction using a different system to learn and it's paying off. I'm finally able to write some simple programs that could actually be useful to people, but I still have a super long way to go.

Still struggling to quit smoking. The longest I've gone without a cigarette so far has been 3 weeks, and when I break it, I have to deal with nic-fits and withdrawals all over again.

So, I'm missing DragonCon, PAX, and Star Wars Celebration. This gives me a sad. I really hope to be able to make DragonCon sometime within the next 3 years. I absolutely will be at NY ComicCon this year, for at least one day (probably Saturday) so I get to keep my nerd card for a bit longer.

Recently went to hurricane harbor, which is the areas premier water theme park. To summarize, it made me miss Florida, as even the most basic water parks (i.e. Rapids) is FAR superior to the tops this area has to offer.

Recently found out my mother in law will be visiting sometime soon and this makes me happy. She is a sweatheart and I wish she could come more often. She is going to teach me how to knit, which is something I desperately want to learn. I don't care what anybody says, creating- whether it be a house, a car, or clothing-is masculine.

So, in the interest of keeping it short, I'll close in saying that I'm looking forward to playing DnD tonight. Tuna is down at DragonCon (lucky bastard) but we should have a great game.

As always, I ask any readers to register as a member, follow my blog (you can use an RSS reader like Google Reader) and leave comments.

Until next time, may the force be with you.

And Now For Something Completely Different

2012-08-01T23:56:00.002-04:00

If you know what the title is from without googling, post it in the comments section and I will award you 5 (five) InterNets.

So, as I'm sure some of you might notice, I've put some ads on the site. I originally didn't want to, but as I'm hard up for cash, I couldn't pass up the chance to offer up the blog for advertising. So, I'll say this: I'm not asking you to click on every single one, but if one of the ads interests you, give it a click. Hell, maybe even buy something. If you do, maybe one day I'll be able to afford taking them down. Also, I'm pretty sure everyone uses Amazon. I do...for everything (EVERYTHING). When you think of hitting up Amazon, if you could do it through one of the links on the site, I would greatly appreciate it. I get a tiny tiny percentage of your purpose. Might as well give that percentage to a buddy, right?

Ok, now that the godforsaken self promotion is over, on to better things. I recently had a Birthday. I turned 28. That's ok, because I've decided I won't officially be old until I'm 30. When I get to 30, I fully expect to push it to 40. If I make it to 60, I won't care that I'm old, because...holy shit, I made it to 60. So, I was overwhelmed at all the birthday wishes I received, mostly via facebook. I know that facebook makes it so easy to send a quick birthday wish, but honestly, to see all the people that actually cared enough to click on the link and write a message, it was touching. Brings a tear to my nerdy overly emotional eye. Thanks again everyone.

{Begin Nerd Section Alpha}

Back to order: Thursday I had another game night. Left with what I thought would be plenty of time (again) to get there early. Got there exactly on time after sitting in traffic for over 2 hours. The game went awesome as usual, and it was good to be back with the campaign again. We somehow ended up leaving the swampland in which we were stationed, traveled west, into the woods and toward an epic storm. I was struck by lightning, which was super.

Once the storm broke, we stumbled upon a small settlement. A large tree with a ramp circling up it into a hollow which we could not peer into stood to the north west. Directly to our west there was a small lake/large pond (pond doesn't sound sufficiently fantastic). As I rolled a 2 on perception ("look, rocks!"), this is all I saw, but what everyone else saw was a cottage on the western end of the lake, and a fenced off area which protruded into the lake/pond of doom with a gate near the door of the cottage.

A large lizardy humanoid soon to be dead thingy approached and told us to take a hike. I said something along the lines of "Fucketh this hike you speak of. I wish to engage you in insufficient nerdy diplomatic dialogue!" to which he replied some more dramatic version of: "Aint gonna work, cuz you rolled too low and the DM doesn't wan't you to screw his whole encounter, but what's up?". My Paladin stated "Dudeth, ye shall totally let us pass for we mean not to fuck up your crops and pisseth in your lake. Can we geteth some directions?" to which this lizard dick said "You musteth be shitting me. Fucketh off Sir Dude before I get aggro upon you". This surely would not do. Once a Paladin engages in dialogue, he effin dialogues. "Broseph, surely you aren't hearing the words of wisdom I am imparting. Let us paseth or we will totally shoveth our point metal objects into your various unpleasant parts. I will SO remove your scales from your body...uh...motherbiatcheth!". The king of ugly responded "Oh you done fucked up now son" or some more fantastic version of the sort "Unleasheth the alligator/crocodile hounds of DOOM!".

Dudes come out from the hole in the tree, and start firing from the balcony, dues exit the cottage and unlatch the gate, less humanoid duded are freed from the cage and dive under water and toward us. It would seem as if I had made a small statistical error. The underwater guys start popping out and charging us, tearing at our limbs and vitals, all the while ranged damage of various forms fall all around us. It looked as all was lost...but wait-whats this? The DM can't roll above a 7? And EVERY time I roll it comes out crit or near crit? Shit is on. Long story short, we made some alligator tail kebobs. I put the symbol of my deity on the door to the cottage, we investigated a bit, and then took up digs in the vanquished enemies cottage ("how you like me now biatch?!").

{End Nerd Section Alpha}

{Begin Epic Storm of Doom}

So, about halfway through that epic story of epicness that I have been describing, we noticed that outside the store a mob was gathering with cellphones, all pointed up. We stopped to see what was going on to see something I haven't seen since I left Florida. Super mega storm clouds. Turned out not to be as bad as it looked but it monsooned for a bit before drying up in time for me to head home. Hope you enjoy the attached picto:

Corellon Will Smite The Wicked!

So, act of deity averted, I got home safe and sound. Side note: I need to set up the blog so I can post expandable pictures, sorta like lightbox.

Friday was relatively uneventful, I think (can't remember at all).

{End Epic Storm of Doom}

{Begin Freemasonry/Birthday Awesomeness}

Saturday was pretty awesome. Kelly and I were originally supposed to go to the Aquarium at Coney Island like we did a few years ago, then walk along the board walk. Given the weather, it wasn't the best idea. I instead chose to help out with some of the refurbishment of some of the items from my Freemason lodge which was set to happen at a friends house. Glad I went for multiple reasons, not the least being that I really enjoy being with my Brothers from other mothers. So I sanded some furniture down tot he base wood, which felt manly and handy but left me covered in poly coat flakes which looked disturbingly similar to stripper glitter. I'll do anything for money (no I wont). Enjoy the picture of one of my Brothers in an unknowingly sexy pose.

Craftsmen Crafting Crafts

The main reason I was glad I wen't over to my Brother's to help is that when I returned home, looking like I just collected a bunch of singles using pole tricks, I noticed the scent of freshly baked goods (fat guy super power). Kelly denied any baking activities of any sort. When I went into the back room to take my shoes off (which is where they go for some reason), I was greeted with an amazing site. A picture would do better than words, so that's what you'll get, but let two things be known first: 1) Geeks love Pirates. No idea why, but we love em. 2) I have the best wife ever. You might think your wife is grand, but she's not. Your wife sucks compared to my wife. Because mine is the best.

P.S. That cake was Holy Shit good.

Kelly got me something I've always wanted: A binder to keep all of our playbills from the shows we've seen. It is so choice. She also got me a cool little thing to keep my phone charger from falling, which I also wanted/needed (she listens). She also got me a super amazing complete Art of Shaving Kit including top of the line shaving brush. Now I will shave as Kings shave-after showers, first with the grain, then against it! Wait...ah...uh..

{End Freemasonry/Birthday Awesomeness}

{And Now for Something Completely Different}

So, turns out I'm lazy and inefficient. Going to work on that. Thanks to my wife and Brother Jeremy for helping me through it. Otherwise, things have been pretty good. Starting a diet. Known about this particular type of lifestyle for a year or so but never quite had the willpower to do it. It's called the Paleo Diet (short for Paleolithic Diet), also called the Primal Diet. I will post more in the future but just know that basically it takes lifestyle and eating habits back to our biological ancestors. Humans were meant to hunt and gather, not process food (at least that's the word on the street). I'm new to it, and having willpower in general, but it's going pretty good so far with the allowed exception of birthday cake.

Also, I've been trying to quit smoking. Except for one somewhat recent slip up, I've been doing exceptionally well. Starting to get to the point where the cravings are so short and far between that I sometimes don't even notice them at all. This is good. Cigarettes cost money.

Two quick things before I go. Firstly, play Star Wars: The Old Republic. It is absolutely amazing, and in my opinion, the best MMO out there. You can play for free up to lvl 15 for now, but the game goes completely free2play in November.

The other thing: Recently a nerd friendly company called BuckyBalls has faced some persecution by a bullshit governmental organization (shocking). The moral of that story is: Parents, watch your fucking children. When you fail, don't blame someone else for the consequences. If a kid jumps off a cliff, you can't sue God, right? Anyway, for more details, see the internet. I strongly urge you, stating that I am not getting any benefit financially or otherwise for saying this, to support this company. Please click the following link (once again, not part of the ad system I am using): Don't Let The Government Take Your Balls Away From You!

{Extra Credit}

My dog sleeps like a human, observe:

"Can you turn the lights of please?"

Anyway, thanks again for reading. Hope you keep coming back. If you have comments, suggestions, or other stuff you want to hear about, post it in the comments section. I hope to start doing some tech reviews pretty soon. Also, click the ads. I need money.

Holy Tragedy Batman

2012-07-24T16:00:00.002-04:00

So a lot has happened since my most recent blog entry.

Tuesday: I woke up bright and early so I could clean up the house before my Independent Medical Examination, ordered by the workers comp insurer. Not much to mention other than what would take Kelly all of 5 minutes to do takes me about 5 hours. That's one hour per efficient minute. I would be a failure as a maid.

My left leg was numb the entire way to the IME (which is somewhere in Garden City), which sucked because it had been the first time in a while. The Orthopedist who I am supposed to see operates out of a sleep apnea clinic. Super professional. So when I get there, I give my info to the secretary, fill out paperwork, and stand while waiting for my turn (usually when my back and leg are hurting, standing helps a bit). Almost immediately I'm called into the back, and shortly after the "Doctor" enters. He tells me to sit, so I ask if I can stand and explain. He says "so are you all better?". I say no. He says "what's wrong?". My back hurts...still. "Oh, ok. Well I don't wan't to bother you with a bunch of test, I'm just going to put you down for a _______(spoke way too fast in imaginary words)". He exits before I can protest. So, at least it's quick. Hope it doesn't screw my workers comp case.

Not sure if it was Tuesday night or not (this is the problem with delaying blog entries) but at some point I met up with Jeremy and Joel and discussed business. My writing made them laugh, and they were really pleased, but going forward I need to keep a closer eye on the fundamentals. Long story short, my writing has to include certain things to make it worth writing at all. Was nice to feel like I'm actually doing something productive.

Weds: Once again, due to waiting so long to post, I have NO idea what I did all day. I do know that later that night I hung out with Kelly and then heard there was a fire in Glenwood. Sea Cliff (my fire department) was called, but being that I'm still out on LODI (line of duty injury) I'm pretty much useless to them. Regardless, I wanted to at least check it out. Seemed to be a small fire in a 2 story private dwelling. As per a friend (who helped fight the fire, and saw much more than I could from outside), a storm had compromised the electrical service, causing fire to appear at the service entry and work its way throughout the house. I got there too late to actually see anything but I'm told it was a good quick stop by Glenwood and mutual aid units.

Didn't actually get to see anyone from my fd as they were leaving as I arrived, so I took a drive up to the firehouse to say hi. When I got up there, Bullet had my new gear for me. Felt like a kid on christmas. Everything needs to be broken in as I could literally stand up the bunker pants on their own right now, but I'm super happy to have it. Just hope I can be active once my back is healed up and justify the expense. Hung out with Bunce and Ciampi for a little while and then went home pretty early.

On a loosely related topic: I hate waste. I hate to see other peoples trust punished with waste. And I think that in order to take taxpayer money, you have to at least justify it with potential. This does not include quenching your thirst in foreign lands. Not very descriptive but those who need to understand will.

Thurs: I have no idea what I did Thursday. That's not terribly important though. What is important is that the events of Thursday night were sheer tragedy. In Aurora, Co, a pathetic (but not pitiful for I do not pity him) neon orange headed coward gunned down numerous innocents while they enjoyed the premier of The Dark Knight Rises. This scumbag used an American symbol of hope and justice as a weapon against those who desperately needed that hope. People had to watch their friends and family die, hear the cries of pain that very few of us are prepared to hear. For this I say the following: Fuck You James Holmes. Because you prey on the hopes of others, I wish I could have the opportunity to realize your fears and the pain that you perceive you have felt but have yet to truly experience. I would give so much to show you a glimmer of the misery you have inflicted on others. Lest this devolve into a hate filled rant, I will stimy my anger and leave it here.

If you are a first responder in any capacity, you should listen to the command tapes from the scene. Without judgement, I will say that it is complete mess. But this should not be an indictment of the officials, it should be a learning experience. Those men and women who responded to that scene were brave but most had not experienced anything like this. Even Columbine had more known factors. We can learn from their mistakes, and respect that they did what they could.

Now, for a matter of personal opinion (isn't this all personal opinion?). I would sooner die fighting than have to face a world in which I failed to act and attempt to preserve the life of those around me. This is why I'm a fireman and an EMT. It sure as hell isn't for the money. Now I don't look down upon those who don't act, because it isn't for everyone. It takes a lifestyle of feeling this way to truly be prepared for it. But I will say, that had this happened immediately post WW2 or 911, things would have gone differently. I personally feel that an overly developed sense of self preservation is bad for a nation. I'm not saying that those who don't act are cowardly, because when the bold fail, the others must make sure someone goes for more help. But keep this in mind: where would this country be if nobody were willing to risk their lives for freedom? Freedom from persecution, from taxation, from fear, from evil? We would be speaking the Queens English and drinking tea. George Washington would not be on our currency. The whole world would not have benefited from our actions.

Fri: Friday night we started our DnD campaign using the official Virtual table. Sadly Shawn wasn't able to join but after some tinkering with our computers, the rest of us were able to meet within the game system. Due to all the "tinkering" we did get to a late start, but once we got going, it was truly amazing. Kerchy set up a backstory which coincidentally fit perfectly with all of our origins (he had no prior knowledge of what we would be doing with our characters). We met in a seaside port villiage, and bonded over pints. Sadly, there was a kidnapping and we were the only people who could help. I'll be documenting the story of our adventures later, possibly in another blog. I'll let you know.

Sat: Saturday was a great day. Took a drive up to a gorgeous outdoor shopping area in Yonkers. It's hard to describe to non-Floridians (these things are common in Florida) but think of it as an outdoor mall. If you're from NY you might equate it to a nicer yet smaller version of Woodbury Commons Upstate. The weather could not have been better, which is a wonderful change of pace. Walked around a bit, spent some time in L.L. Bean (one of my favorites) and a few other stores. Way too much to process in one day so we'll have to go back soon. Had an early Birthday dinner at Texas de Brazil (the only location in NY!) which is my favorite place ever. Didn't think I'd ever see one again when I left Florida. As amazing as the day ways, I had a hard time sleeping. Thinking about the shooting and how unnecessary it was kept me up all night.

Sun: Had another great day with Kelly. Nothing really makes me quite as happy as having a good time with her. Sun night I wen't to see TDKR. About halfway through the movie, they swept our theater with a police officer and dog. You could see everyone who noticed visibly relax, myself included. On that note, I think a good solution to movie theater security might be to allow police officers with identification to view movies for free. Your capital output is minimal and your potential safety and crime deterrent capabilities are astronomical. Wondering who I can take this idea to. Anyway, the movie was insane, but at the risk of writing any spoilers, I will simply say that I loved it, I want to see it again, and I wish there would be another one.

Mon(again): Woke up early again (sick of waking up early). Drove to the Workers Compensation Board of NY location in Nassau County for my hearing. This place is as run down as a government building gets. Set at the foot of the Terrace Ave projects in Hempstead, and noticing that a couple of cars in the parking garage had broken windows, I decided not to leave much of value in my car. In contrast, this was probably the most efficient display of Governmental procedure I have ever witnessed. Within 15 minutes of my arrival (30 minutes early) the representative from the law firm I've retained met with me to discuss some things. I had been told I wouldn't need anything, but being that my Doctor hadn't sent any of the info to the lawyers office, Kelly had to bail me out by scanning and emailing a bunch of paperwork to me. God bless that woman...and technology. Without that paperwork, I'd have been completely cut off of any funds. The hearing went well, with some argument between the lawyers using made up words and abbreviations (these people have their own language). After a little while, I was briefly questioned, mainly to confirm that I wasn't seeking liability on any other party, and then released. My lawyer informed me that they are increasing my benefits to a terrible yet better number. This is probably the first hearing of a bunch so hopefully the can't increase the amount a little more. I truly just want to get back to work.

Kelly was sick and had stayed home. I wish she was feeling better but I will never complain about the chance to spend an extra day with her.

Today: Woke up at a reasonable hour and started vacuuming. Started on some programming studying and wrote this blog. Going to clean the sink and mirror in the back bathroom and see if I need to start anything for dinner. Typing on my new Das Keyboard (which is awesome if you are a nerd and appreciate quality) and using my new wireless mouse (courtesy of birthday checks) and generally enjoying life. Going to call the Doctors office again and see if Workers Comp has approved my 2nd epidural too. Looking forward to Thursday nights DnD game at Ravensblood. It will be the first time playing in this campaign since I joined it over a month ago.

Hopefully I'll be able to post again soon. Thanks to anyone who read this (and made it through this very lengthy post). I ask you to just keep those that died Thursday night in mind. Not that they deserve any more honor or respect than any other person who has passed away, but so as to remind us all of the evil that is out there and the necessity in triumphing over that evil. Thanks again!

Bring Your Husband To Work Day? (Language Alert)

2012-07-16T22:16:00.002-04:00

WARNING: Rough language. If you aren't partial to F-bombs and the like, you might not want to read on.

Had a pretty good weekend.Woke up early Saturday morning to help with some lodge stuff. Basically just moved something around in my car. Everytime I'm ready to trade in my big fuel guzzling SUV, I put it to some use and then am happy with it until the next thing breaks. Saturday night the wife and I caught the tail end of the Port Washington parade and then crossed the street for some Baskin Robbins. I'm not sure exactly what Kelly got but it was some fudgy chocolatey gooey concoction that made me want to have a tub of it, followed by a gallon of milk and some geriatric surgery. It seems no matter where we go, she always seems to order the best thing on the menu. I've had years of order regret due to her.

Sunday was also fairly low key. I honestly completely forgot what I did until I just now asked my wife what the hell I did all day. She said I was on the computer the entire day, doing absolutely nothing. That's non nerd speak for CREATING THE MOST EPIC WIZARD OF DOOM EVAR! Ya, so I wasted the entire day spec'ing out my Friday night character. In truth, I actually did a ton of shit via the computer, but failing to remember what it actually was, I'm going with my wifes answer. So, the DnD char is a Arcanist Wizard (as opposed to an anarchist, very different) who can both control the battle and do a crap ton of damage. Pretty excited for friday, especially as my little brother will be joining us for his first DnD game.

On Sunday night, Kelly and I wen't out to dinner to Vincent's, across from Roosevelt Field mall. I've never seen the place (or any place outside of a Disney food court) so insanely packed before. Adding to the close confines and the noise, it was approximately eleventybillion (11ty,000,000,000) degrees in there. Absurd. Everyone in the restaurant with the exception of the wait staff were sweating profusely, making for the worst possible meal time environment ever. I'm convinced that the staff are aliens from an infernal sun like planet (such as Florida) who are trying to destroy humanity with uncomfortable eating environments and hot/humid summers.

So, this brings us to how LIPA sucks and should die. Kelly and I get home, both of us sick. I go up to the firehouse for about an hour, come home, and immediately before I go to bed, the power cuts out. This was possibly related to a small storm that went through over 2 hours previous to the outage. When the power cuts out, the AC does not work. Strangely, this combination did not cause our environment to get any cooler. It was in fact, UPWARDS of eleventybillion degrees this time. And I was upset. So I have this to say:

FUCK YOU LIPA!

I say this, because every time the issue of putting the power lines underground, LIPA gives a different bullshit reason, everything to "it's impossible" to "there's no reason for it" to my favorite "it would cost our customers too much money". I respond with the following: "Bullshit!". I find this to be all the argument needed. But if you, dear reader, need more:

Underground power lines are present in every major city with an infrastructure rating over that of a third world country (look it up).
Power lines work on the universal theory of electricity delivery. This is Volts * Amps == Watts. Think of it as follows: Voltage is the electric equivalent of water pressure through a pipe. Amperage would be the flow rate with regards to friction (effects electricity too). Watts would be the total amount of water delivered for use. This is important because of the following.
When there is high electrical demand, LIPA chockes your voltage to reduce wear on the system, while leaving your amperage the same, this leads to a decrease in wattage, which can actually fry your system by giving the appliance just enough to struggle (causing wear and tear and short circuits and failures) as opposed to the amount needed.
The reason LIPA has to do this, is that when the lines are hot, they bleed efficiency as heat. When power lines are underground, they lose some to heat and cause the environment to be 20 degrees hotter than surface ambient temp. This is reasonable.
With above ground power lines, the amount of heat is unlimited, and even though well vented, it is directly exposed to the Sun as well as high ambient temperature. Here's a fun fact. When you fry an egg on a sidewalk, its not the ambient temperature that cooks it, its the heat which has been absorbed from the Sun. Hot power lines cause huge inefficiency.
In the winter, when the Sun has less of a warming effect on power lines, the snow causes them to fall. Below ground lines cannot fall as they will not be weighed down by snow.
When power grids are strained, power lines sag. When they sag, they break, when they break, little kids pick them up. When little kids pick them up, they die.
If you look at a power line while it is arcing (a very common malfunction), you will feel you have sand in your eyes. Then you will go blind permanently. This is due to retinal scarring caused by the arc actually passing through you. Looking at power lines can be dangerous.
LIPA is a monopoly. I can't say "fuck, lipa is really the epitome of corporate scum, i'm going to take my business elsewhere". They have more than enough money, and an obligation, to improve the infrastructure without screwing their customer slaves.

This concludes my rant on LIPA.

So, since I've gotten all of that out, and hopefully educated you, I will add this: My wife bakes cookies like Innuits build igoos, better than anyone else could ever hope to. Whatever she made Sunday is beyond comparison. Have her make some for you, because these are all ours.

Went to lunch today, did some programming work, and cleaned the kitchen. Was surprised to find that our gray cabinets were actually white covered in grime. Pretty exciting stuff. Sorry ladies, I'm taken.

Missed Kelly a ton today, mainly because she is exceptionally beautiful and she makes me smile. I'm attempting to convince her that tomorrow is "Take Your Husband To Work Day" but she's not buying it. Damn her goddess level intelligence. Oh well.

Tomorrow I have the great pleasure of getting scammed by NY States workers comp failure. I go to a doctor who was hired specifically by the insurance agency to tell me how hurt I am, and then document that I'm completely fine. Also, I think there might be a chance my lawyer sucks. I have to go to court on Monday, but I'm pretty sure that's what I pay him to do. Also, I've talked to him exactly once. When I call his office, the secretary refuses to put me through. Probably going to go with someone else. This guy just truly doesn't care.

Anyway, if you are reading these, post a comment or something. Either in reply or just to let me know I'm not typing to myself. Because that would be weird. And I'm completely normal.

Sort Of A Dress

2012-07-13T18:00:00.004-04:00

I'm writing this on Friday for both the previous day and today.

Yesterday wen't well enough.

Woke up super early. PWFD whistle blew maybe an hour after I had been awake. I flipped my pager over to monitor and heard them confirm a fire on port washington blvd. I needed the exercise so I decided to walk to the fire and buff the job. Seemed to be a small but long burning fire in the cockloft of a deli. I don't enjoy criticizing other peoples operations but I will just gladly state that I am happy that I am with the Sea Cliff Fire Department.

Did a bunch of cleaning but didn't get much studying done. All week I had been super excited about the Dungeons and Dragons Next Playtest, so I made sure to leave early, planning on stopping by my Grandmother's place to say hello and maybe get something to eat before the game (she is all of 2 minutes from the game shop where we play). Turns out everyone in the world was driving eastbound on Long Island, and a few of the many drivers decided to disregard the rules of physics. Mass cannot occupy the space presently occupied by other mass, and when attempted, a violent reaction occurs. Car accidents make for shitty traffic.

So... I arrived at my Grandmother's exactly 12 minutes before game time (I had planned to have an hour with her). As Grandmas do, she fed me, hugged me, and sent me on my way. I arrived to the game not on time, but a full minute early (MIRACULOUS!), enabling me to get to know one of the other playtesters before we started. Turns out he is a programmer, freshly out of school and working for King Kullen's tech department. He had a ton of useful advice for me relating to programming and web development, much of it matching what I had already been doing. Thank god. I'm getting tired of restarts. I gave him my card and told him to email me so we can further discuss and I'm hoping he does. What a great guy.

So, being a playtester comes with certain restrictions as to discussing the game with the public, so I can't go to deeply into mechanics. I should still be able to talk about certain aspects of game. I chose for myself a High Elf Wizard pregen. We also had in our party a paladin like dwarf (my programmer friend) who was aligned with good, a preisty type human who was lawful good, a rogue type halfling, and a strikerish dwarf. This led to a hilarious dynamic. The paladin was a high and mighty knight, and demanded to be treated as such. To our great dismay he made sure to have the town we met in provide the shittiest possible trumpeter in the world. This made the paladin feel stately. In addition, he decided that it was time to shop. After five minutes of his buying items (which later benefited us) I decided to play up the high elf superiority complex and said "We ready to go ladies?". He responded "WOAH! What are you wearing? A-a what? A Robe? Sort of a dress?" in the most sarcastic stately tone I have ever heard. Rarely do I hear such witty things. Hanging out with fellow nerds made me happy. In addition, my protests of bringing a drunk human along as well as the shopping, later caused more hilarity as every time these things came in handy (often) he would look at me and say "good thing we brought that, huh?" I'm sure the sarcasm of the event doesn't transplant well in text, but those who play DnD with awesome people will surely know where I'm coming from. Those that don't...well you'll call me a nerd because you have inferior intelligence and not wish to understand (that was my high elf meme). Another quick note, our DM Beth was superp, and really brought the environment to life and responded perfectly to us. Another note: If you have a lawful good member in the party and you decide to bring the town drunk on horseback, make sure you tie him to the horse in the beginning so you dont all have to stop. The best part is leaving him tied to the horse and saying "hey, watch the horses". There's some sarcastic absurdity to that which makes me so happy.

Also, I so much prefer playing wizard as opposed to paladin. Tanking is noble but raining sweet hate from above rocks all of the socks.

DnD has changed my life and I can't see ever being without it again. Most video games and movies cannot possibly compare to even a tenth of the immersion which I experience when playing. If you are an intelligent person with an active imagination, put your preconceptions aside and give it a shot. You'd be surprised how much you will enjoy it, and how normal most of us are (some are crazy so pick your group accordingly).

I love being a nerd. So you naysayers can suck it.

After the game I briefly stopped by Grandma's just to complete our conversation.

Today I woke up at a reasonable hour, even after having had trouble getting to sleep until after my wife's alarm clock went of to wake her up. This has been happening all to often lately. Cleaned up a little more, which is great since I'm really starting to see the difference in the house. After this intensive cleaning month, we need to make sure we maintain everything.

I was about to sit down and study when my Brother Jeremy called me up. I went over to his place and together we worked on site layouts and creative design. I wont go into too much detail but I will say that it feels good having an intelligent individual request and appreciate my opinion. Had lunch at Jeremy's which was great too. Got home with a little time to study but didn't get much done today either.

Next week, I'm going to have to study to brutality.

Links:
Ravensblood Games (where I play DnD)
Meetup Group we use to organize games
Run Dungeons And Dragons Role Playing Humor Rpg D&D T-Shirt
"Dark Dungeon Master T Shirt"

I like bananas, bananas are good.

2012-07-11T19:46:00.001-04:00

So...I've decided to start a blog, as all attempts to keep a journal using paper and pen have failed miserably (for reasons I can't quite understand as I love the idea of old school journaling).

Anyway, recently I've been out of work due to a back injury. I've been to the doctor today, and we are going to try a second epidural and physical therapy. I need to make sure to call tomorrow to schedule the procedure. I'm really hoping the epidural works as it should, because back surgery is something I know well, and don't look forward to by any means. My lovely wife accompanied me to the doctors appointment and we made a day out of that and some errands. Sadly, I wasn't able to get much studying done.

I've recently been asked to take part in an online marketplace company. I don't feel I should give out too many details but I'm tasked with doing some item descriptions. I look forward to it, as I hope my involvement in this site will give me necessary experience and prove profitable.

Money has been tight since the injury, as the worker's comp insurance co is holding out. I have a hearing on the 22nd that I am quite nervous about and really hope it goes my way.

I feel as though I have been procrastinating a bit to much with my studies. They are more important now than ever since my doctor expressly stated that in my current occupation, reinjury is almost definite.

I've been reading a book on drupal and gaining experience and skills by working on a few websites. I've also started learning some programming using code academy and a book on python. While I've been doing well for someone who is self teaching, I could be doing a lot better. I feel some of this is due to the lack of strucutre. I'm starting to consider night classes. Will be looking into those shortly.

Tomorrow night I am taking part in the Dungeons and Dragons Next playtesting which I'm excited about. Looking forward to seeing how the new system works and just rolling dice again.

Tomorrow is programming education day, but I think I need to lump in some time writing descriptions and learning web dev, as I've put everything off today.

Good news: doctor told me I can start exercising again. Looking forward to taking the bike out and starting a weight lifting regiment. I've put on far too much weight since the injury, and that is probably one of many reasons my recovery has been shitty.

Also, I've recently had a Nerd Awakening. Finally able to be proud of things I've hid from most people other than my wife, brother, and friend Tuna for most of my life. Part of that is starting Doctor Who... which can move me so strongly even with its simple production. I highly recommend it to everyone, non nerds included. A recent episode is where this blog title comes from.