TAKING COMMAND! ACHIEVING YOUR OBJECTIVES.

Gain The Advantage In Any Social Situation

noreply@blogger.com (Douglas Castle) — Thu, 27 Aug 2015 15:18:00 -0400

Gain The Advantage In Any Social Situation

By Douglas Castle for The Taking Command Blog and GEI Consulting

The article which follows is of great importance to any businessperson, politician, group leader or military commander who must navigate his or her way through a social environment to get at his or her objectives. In preparing this article, source material below was largely taken from an article titled “25 Psychological Life Hacks To Help Gain Advantage In Any Social Situation”, published by www.highexistence.com, and subsequently republished by a number of sources.

Social situations are among the most important in our lives, especially if we are developing new contacts, building relationships or posturing for leadership positions, where Taking Command , whether forcefully or with great subtlety, is crucial and time sensitive. Yet, there is a huge chance that you are oblivious to the plethora of unwritten social rules that structure everybody’s behavior. Failing to comply to these cultural imprints can cause irreversible damage. Just following them blindly will not get you ahead. Applying them, however, will give you the best results possible. Therefore we bring to you these psychological strategies (psy ops) that will help you gain rapid leverage and success in social situations.

1) Assume comfort in any interaction.

Our brain is an incredibly complicated instrument. Our relationship with it, is a love-hate one. We think we have control over it but usually something unconscious dictates our actions.
In most of our social interactions, we find it difficult to feel comfortable among strangers because our brain tries to protect us from exposure.
This however isn’t helping us when trying to be social and meet new people, is it?
This is why assuming comfort is so powerful. Commanding your brain to feel that you already know the person you are about to meet puts you in a position of advantage. It increases the chances of people showing interest in you and consequently even liking you.

2) Pay attention to people’s feet when you are approaching them.

Interrupting people when they are in the middle of an important conversation is one of the most annoying things to do. It shows that you have zero knowledge of social dynamics which will lead to unpleasant social situations.
When you approach a group of people while in a conversation, pay attention to their bodies. If they turn only their torsos and not their feet, it means they are in the middle of an important conversation and they don’t want you to interrupt them.
If they turn both torso and feet, it means you are welcome. This is extremely important, because the right timing in such situations may put you in a position of advantage, especially if the conversation was boring for both sides.

3) Whenever you have an argument with someone, stand next to them and not in front of them.

We’ve all been in situations where out of nowhere the conversation started escalating.
Unless you love drama, I would suggest you to avoid these situations. You might have the best argument in the world, but usually people get irritated when they feel they are wrong.
So, whenever you feel that the argument you have with another person (especially friends – it’s not cool to fight with friends) creates tension, move next to them. You won’t appear much of a threat, and they will eventually calm down.

4) Whenever you need a favor, open with “I need your help.”

Admit it. We all love to get others to do stuff for us. Either because we are lazy, or because we really need some help to complete a task.
Social dynamics show that when it comes to platonic relationships, nobody really likes an asshole. So whenever you need a favor, start your sentence with “I need your help.”
In most cases, people will accept your request and help you out. This occurs because we don’t really like the guilt of not helping someone out and we do like to be the one who is capable of helping.

5) If you want people to feel good, give them validation. Rephrase what they just told you.

We love validation. Most of our actions are the outcome of our need for validation. So what is the best way to get people to like you? Give them what they need of course. A simple example, is when you are in a conversation with another person and he says something really important for him. After he finishes, rephrase what he just said in your own words. This will make him think that you are a good listener and that you are really interested in him. It makes him feel he is the center of attention. That’s validation right there.

6) If you want to get a positive response from someone, nod while you talk.

This one is extremely powerful and also a bit manipulative especially if the person is suggestive. So use it with your own responsibility and in an ethical way. Getting a positive response from someone is usually what we want. Whether it is making a sale, or promoting a viewpoint, we always want people to get on board. Nodding while you try to deliver your message is a powerful way to get the person to agree with you. People usually like mimicking, so they will most probably nod back while you talk. This will subsequently communicate to their brains that they have to agree with you.

7) Want to see if someone is paying attention to what you are saying? Fold your arms.

Usually when we are in the middle of a conversation and especially if we talk about something very important to us, we get lost in our talking and rarely pay attention to whether the other person is following or not. So instead of losing time talking to a person who is distracted and might not even be interested in what you are saying, do this. Fold your arms while talking and see if the other person follows your move. If the other person is observing you and pays attention, they will most likely mimic you.

8) Having trouble remembering names? Repeat the other person’s name during the conversation.

I suck at remembering names. I usually don’t even listen to the other person when he says his name the moment we get introduced to each other. So usually, I ask a friend to introduce himself to the person so I can listen to his name. But then I forget it again. Awkward. Remembering names is very important because we feel important when someone mentions us. So the moment you meet someone repeat his name. Example: “Hi my name is Alex” “Nice to meet you Alex. So, Alex how do you know John?” And continue to repeat his name throughout the conversation.

9) If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer, just wait. They will keep talking.

This is a very common situation when you don’t know the other person that well or your question wasn’t clear enough. If they finish the answer without providing a full answer, just wait. Stay silent and keep eye contact. If the tension becomes unbearable, raise your eyebrows. It puts a bit of pressure on them but it communicates that you show interest. It also sub-communicates that you are a person that usually gets what he wants.

10) People usually focus on the emotion and not on the subject.

This is very useful in public speaking but also in building rapport with an acquaintance. Whenever you introduce yourself to new people, most probably they have already heard what you are about to say. Well that’s not a problem. Even if you want to talk about the most boring topic in the world, make sure of one thing: Always try to evoke emotions. From my experience the 3 emotions that you want to evoke are: • Excitement • Laughter: Everyone likes to laugh • Intrigue: Leave a little mystery so the other person has to invest energy to hear more. Don’t be purposely distant, but avoid verbal diarrhea.
There are many techniques to turn a boring conversation into an exciting and intriguing one, but here are a couple of my favorites:

Pause: A lot of the time when we want to keep someone’s attention, we tend to talk really fast, but this subcommunicates neediness and nervousness. A well-placed pause can create tension that makes your words have more gravitas.
Tone and Inflection: No one finds monotone exciting. Switch up your tone of voice from deep for declarative statements, to high inflection when you want to leave them guessing.
Paint pictures and compose symphonies in their mind with sensory details: When telling a story, take the person you’re talking to on an emotional journey by describing the colors, sounds, textures, tastes, smells, and how they made you feel. This will cause their mirror-neurons to fire off, making it easier for them to imagine actually being there with you.

So if you want to be memorable, focus on the emotion behind the words. People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you make them feel.

11) Confidence is more important than knowledge.

Two young candidates walked into the interview office to apply for the same job. The first one had a Phd, two Masters and a Bachelor’s degree. The second one had just a Bachelor. The first one was kind of shy, didn’t talk much, his body language was turned inward. The second one had an upright posture, was looking the interviewers directly in the eyes, showed a lot of interest in the job and his answers where emitting confidence. We don’t have to tell you who got the job.

12) Fake it until you make it.

No one became an expert on anything over night. However, the learning process in everything you do is accelerated by commanding your brain to think what you want it to think. In simple words. You are what you believe you are. • You are confident if you believe you are confident • You are attractive if you believe you are attractive • You are extrovert if you believe you are extrovert If you want to look deeper into this idea look up two words. Neuroplasticity and brain rewiring.

13) Pose in a Power Stance.

This is similar to the previous point, but more concrete than a mantra or belief. Go stand in the mirror, put your hands on your hips, thrust your pelvic forward, pull your shoulders up, back and down, open your chest, tilt your head up, and force the biggest smile you can possibly manage to fit across your face. Even if you consciously know you’re just faking it, your brain can’t tell the difference, and will release endorphins to match your body position. This can feel silly, but it really works.

14) If you want to be persuasive, try and reduce the use of the words “I think” and “I believe.”

I don’t really feel the need to elaborate on this one. Obviously these words do not evoke confidence and the other person will most probably not take you seriously. Change them to ‘I know’ and ‘I will’ instead.

15) A clean and organised environment affects your mood, productivity, and others perception of who you are.

How many times have you waken up without any motivation at all? How many times have you started working on something without being able to get focused and inspired? Next time this happens, take a look around you. Is your environment clean and well-organized? If not, take some minutes to clean it up and put everything into place. You will feel refreshed and reborn and productivity will spark immediately. But not only that, you will come across as caring and punctual, two highly esteemed traits. Why do think most of the big companies pay so much attention to creating the best working environment for their employees? They know what makes them happy and how it affects their productivity.

16) Want to find out which people are close to each other within a group and who is perceived as the leader?

Pay attention to who is looking at each other when everyone in the group laughs at a joke. People instinctively look at and agree with the person they feel closest to within the group.

17) Whenever you call a person you want to meet, show excitement!

Always have this in mind. Excitement is contagious. Why do you think the music video from Pharrell Williams – “Happy” got so many views and so many people were talking about it?
People love excitement! It is like an escape from their boring lives. Never forget that.
(You can mirror this and show disappointment if somebody let’s you down, making them painfully aware of their hurtful actions.)

18) Want to build rapport and gain respect? Match body language.

This is quite a common topic among body language experts and works well if you want to gain respect from a person that has high value.
Example:
You are in a social situation where a person has higher value among others within the group. He is the center of attention and he totally enjoys it. How do you match his value? By befriending him!
If you want his respect and attention the best thing to do when you approach him is to match his body language and speaking patterns. If he has open body language and he talks with excitement and joy, don’t go there with crossed arms and with an attitude of negating his words.
Approach him with the same amount of excitement and show openness and interest.

19) When someone insults you, either ignore him or mock him. Never lose temper. Always control the frame.

Haters are everywhere. The more you feed them with hate, the stronger they become. Never lose your temper. This is a great example of how to deal with a hater. Enjoy!

19) Stand up straight, have warm hands and always keep eye contact.

• Keep a straight posture and walk like a born leader. This sub-communicates confidence and others will respect you automatically.
• Keep your hands out of your pockets. If you don’t know what to do with them, it is better to fold your arms rather than keep them inside your pockets.
• Keep your hands warm. If you have a warm hand when you shake somebody’s hand, you immediately become a more desirable person to get along with. Secret Tip – wash your hands with warm water often to keep them warm or take cold showers.
• You have heard this a thousand times. Here is the 1001st. – never lose eye contact! Losing eye contact is like losing your confidence. One cool trick when first meeting someone is to focus on their eye color and smile at the same time. The eyes are the gateway to the soul, and taking the extra second to gaze shows you are confident and present. (Be sure to move your eyes away periodically, a constant stare will creep people out.)

20) The Benjamin Franklin Effect.

The Ben Franklin effect is a psychological finding:
A person who has done someone a favor is more likely to do that person another favor than they would be if they had received a favor from that person. Similarly, one who harms another is more willing to harm them again than the victim is to retaliate.
This is an unbelievable finding. In social situations, you can hack this by making someone do something small for you, then asking for your true favor. It’s such a small favor that they will say yes, and due to cognitive dissonance their brain will rationalize that they must like you enough to do you a favor in the first place. This is also called the foot-in-the-door effect.

21) Don’t be afraid to touch another person.

Touching someone on the shoulder or their knees creates an emotional and physical bond. Especially during moments of joy, laughter and excitement touching positively reinforces these traits. If you’re uncomfortable with touching, remember 12, fake it until you make it.

22) Use the door-in-the-face hack.

The opposite of foot-in-the-door. Make an unreasonably large request that will most likely be turned down (but if it isn’t then that’s even better!), and follow up with your true intended, more reasonable request. The other person will be more likely to agree to the second request.

23) Always frame a request as a choice.

No one likes to feel pressured into doing something they don’t want to do. By subtlety rephrasing a request, you can make the person feel like they came to the decision on their own terms.
Homeless people who say things like, “it’s up to you if you want to donate or not” end up making more money than those who simply ask for money. The same is generally true for bands that offer “pay what you want” payment structures for their music. They know you can easily download their music for free off the internet, so they encourage you to pay what you feel is right.
A slightly more aggressive technique is the assumptive close:
This is a classic sales technique that can be used in any social situation. Instead of asking for permission, “do you want to donate/go on a date/get something to eat” assume that the person already does. Of course, you can’t just force someone to do something, but a leading question can nudge them in the right direction: “Would you like to donate 5 dollars or 10 dollars?”
Now instead of simply saying yes or no, they have to actively deny your request and feel like a naysayer.

24) If you work in a bar or in customer service of any kind…

Put a mirror behind you at the counter. When an angry customer approaches you, he will have to see himself in the mirror and will most probably calm down. Nobody likes ruining his image.

25) Chew gum if you are nervous.

Evolutionarily speaking, our brains assume that if we are eating then we aren’t in any immediate danger, so the fight or flight response is weakened.

The Takeaway:

There you have them. These suggestions for gaining the initial advantage and then taking maximum advantage of any social situation or social encounter will stand you in good stead if you study them and put them into practice. Study them and put them into practice immediately – it goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that the sooner you begin to make use of these simple but intensely effective strategems, the sooner you will begin to win with them. And in terms of taking command, there is no time for losing.

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command, leadership, dominance, social advantage, influencing others, negotiation, networking, body language, GEIconsulting, Douglas E. Castle, power posturing, successful introductions, first impressions

Thank you, as always, for reading me.

Douglas Castle for Global Edge International Consulting Associates, Inc. and The Global Edge International Blog

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Key Terms: Leadership, management, self-growth, self-mastery, personal power, career advancement, negotiation, winning, wealth, success

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Monkey Mentality Management

noreply@blogger.com (Douglas Castle) — Mon, 10 Aug 2015 12:57:00 -0400

MONKEY MENTALITY MANAGEMENT

I received the story which follows via email from a client of ours just this morning. I think it is just as plausible as it is hysterical. Please read on:

“If you start with a cage containing four monkeys, hang a banana from the top of the inside of the cage on a string, and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

ALL the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with same result — As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray ALL the monkeys with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new monkey. The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, ALL of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original four monkeys, replacing it with a new monkey. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm — because he is now part of the “team”.

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new monkey, followed by the fourth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana. Why, you ask? Because in their minds, that is the way it has always been!

This is how today’s House and Senate operates; and this is why, occasionally, ALL of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME!”

Please Note: The above story is not intended to insult monkeys in any way, and no monkeys (or bananas) were harmed in the making of this article.

Thank you, as always, for reading me.

Douglas Castle for Global Edge International Consulting Associates, Inc. and The Global Edge International Blog

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TAKING COMMAND! ACHIEVING YOUR OBJECTIVES.

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The Guide to self-mastery, goal-setting, strategic planning and decision making, leadership, management, contingency planning, leveraging assets, rule and domination, choosing allies, dealing with enemies, assessing risk, time management, negotiation... achieving personal authority, influence, wealth and success through total TRANSFORMATION.

Key Terms: Leadership, management, self-growth, self-mastery, personal power, career advancement, negotiation, winning, wealth, success

***************
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Leadership: Delegate Or Die - Douglas E. Castle

noreply@blogger.com (Douglas Castle) — Wed, 29 Jul 2015 09:25:00 -0400

Leadership: Delegate Or Die

One Of the Most Important Responsibilities Of A Leader Is To Delegate Responsibility

By: Douglas E. Castle
For The Taking Command Blog, The GEI Consulting Blog, GEI Consulting

To be a leader and to maintain a position of leadership, you must be a competent and efficient delegator. By the act of delegating, you are not relinquishing control – you are actually expanding the realm and scope of your control. The larger the responsibilities and the larger the organization, the more proficient you must be at delegation.

In the military, “delegation” is defined as the action by which a commander assigns part of his or her authority commensurate with the assigned task to a subordinate commander. While ultimate responsibility cannot be relinquished, delegation of authority carries with it the imposition of a measure of responsibility. The extent of the authority delegated must be clearly stated.

Your success at delegation will determine the strength and length of your reign as a leader and commander. The most significant insights and skills which are required in successful delegation are listed below. They are worth studying:

==+ If you are obsessive-compulsive by your nature, do all that you can to rationally counterbalance this dangerous impediment to effective delegation. You cannot micromanage and be a leader. You cannot be the servant of your subordinates because you are insistent about things being done exactly as you would have them done;

==+ You must constantly keep the big picture and the broader focus in mind. If you are a perfectionist and overly detail-oriented, you will never be able to attain your organizational objectives while mired in minutiae;

==+ Understand all of your responsibilities, and itemize or componentize each of them. You'll find that each individual component can be delegated (as it must) to someone in your organization whom you can select. If the right individual is not among your inventory of Human Assets, then you must either replace some of your people, or your must acquire some new members with the requisite skill sets. The objective is to export as many of your responsibilities as possible, while retain the central responsibility of organizational stewardship, oversight and goal attainment;

==+ When you delegate responsibility for the accomplishment of a task or function, also remember to grant the requisite authority and to impose the necessary accountability to the person to whom you've charged with the job. Responsibility without authority is a recipe for managerial impotence and non- performance. Responsibility without accountability is a recipe for waste, abuse and failure;

==+ Since you, as a leader, are ultimately responsible for the successful and efficient attainment of your organization's most important goals, you must constantly monitor the performance of those to whom you've delegated, without being drawn in to correcting their mistakes yourself. Observe, measure, suggest, monitor and determine whether the subject task has been assigned to the right individual; sometimes a change may be warranted.

==+ Where you observe leadership potential in some of those persons to whom you've delegated tasks, you may find it wise to increase their roster or responsibilities, but to also grant them greater authority to sub-delegate to others who are subordinate to them. Remember that the greatest leaders know how to identify and cultivate leadership within their organizations. Be aggressive and bold about identifying and leveraging the leadership talents of other leaders within your organization. Encourage leadership and acceptance of increased responsibility. Reward it and give it appropriate recognition. Empowering other leaders liberates you to be a greater leader yourself.

==+ As you develop leaders and assign them to their respective specialty areas (not unlike fiefdoms within a kingdom), clearly identify where each one's territory begins and ends. Clearly define their responsibilities with minimal overlap. Keep your subordinate leaders separated from each other (unless you are present and orchestrating or conducting a meeting or hearing reports) – fiefdoms should not compete, but neither should their feudal lords unite, lest they undermine the king's leadership.

In brief, don't permit your subordinates to take you over. Delegate, but do so without ever permitting your absolute command from being undermined. Keep your emerging leaders separated from each other, and even instill a competitive spirit amongst them to 'fight' for your approval.

As always, thank you for reading me.

Douglas E Castle

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Control Your Client From The Start - Douglas E. Castle - Taking Command

noreply@blogger.com (Douglas Castle) — Thu, 18 Jun 2015 14:12:00 -0400

Control Your Client From The Start

Note: This article originally appeared in The TAKING COMMAND BLOG

To all of our TAKING COMMAND! Readers:

If your firm is a consultancy, and you are finding it difficult to win fee-paying clients, the letter which I recently wrote to a friend and colleague might provide you with some serious insights into what is required in order to actually land clients instead of just engaging with them. Could you be selling too hard? Could you be talking too much? Could you be permitting your prospective clients dictate terms and conditions to you?

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Dear Disappointed Financing Consultant:

I am sorry to hear that following a month of conversations, your prospective client has decided to freely try to solve its capitalization objective on its own without having retained the services of your firm. Your client most likely doesn't know just how difficult it is and how much work is required in order to obtain capital for the growth of its operations in this difficult economy... where so many deals are competing for limited, sophisticated investor and institutional dollars.

Something must have gone wrong – and that “something” might just have been your over-indulgence of your prospective client. You've spent too much time coaching (for free), educating and selling the prospective client on your interest in acquiring it as a client and on your capabilities as a consulting firm. Sadly, the more you try to sell, the more that you will reduce your value in the prospective client's eyes. That's just Human Nature.

You've invested your time with that prospect in educating its president rather than in positioning yourself and your firm. Too bad. A great deal of conversation must have been wasted because you didn't set up the ground rules and frame yourself and your firm's role at the initiation of the relationship. Maybe you've forgotten that every step in communicating with a prospective client is actually a (gasp!) negotiation.

You see, prospective clients secretly want to be lead by a competent and confident consultant. They just are very hesitant to say this openly. And this means that you must establish yourself and your firm as competent, confident and in command and control. It begins with your very first conversation with the client. An you must assume the alpha role right from the inception of the relationship.

Now, getting back to the case of your consulting firm and your prospective client...

It appears that your prospective client's president views your firm not as a consultancy, but as a mere "money broker," to serve the purpose of just shopping his unsupported and somewhat amateur financing proposition to "real" investors and arranging to simply connect him with them in exchange for some unspecified commission -- without the burden of even executing a fee agreement or paying a much-required retainer to your firm. He was simply not made to be emotionally, intellectually or financially invested in your firm, or in your value proposition.

His perception is that you are merely hungry intermediaries and that his company has a "deal" which you will happily shop. He evidently does not see your value-added as a consultancy, and is taking an alpha (dominant) posture and position in your relationship. He might have arrived at (for whatever reason) this misconception of your value from the start.

You might have made some inadvertent missteps in the process of negotiating with him from the very beginning of our conversations - if you don't introduce yourself powerfully and establish a position of strength from the very outset of the relationship, you might find yourselves faced with a truckload of prospects, but no signed clients. That would be awful.

There's a definite demand in the market for what your firm does and for the valuable service that it provides. You'll definitely get many leads, and generate even more through your website and through your networking efforts. But you must establish yourself and your professional firm to every prospective client as a valuable resource and achieve that understanding from your very first communication! You must frame the relationship and set the tone. You must take command.

Perhaps one of the things that you should add to your weekly management meeting agenda is how you present yourselves (as leaders of a firm) to prospective clients from the very beginning, so that each and all of you can properly represent and position your firm to prospective clients to better insure control of the course of the relationship.

Additionally, you might consider letting your wayward client's president take two weeks (to shop his deal to "real" investors via LinkedIn and other means), and let him meet with some failure and frustration before you even accommodate him with further correspondence. Perhaps your errant prospective client's president should be left without a reply from you for two weeks – and then you can re-visit and engage with him again – this time taking a dominant role and re-framing the relationship. This short span of time might provide you and your firm with additional negotiating leverage and an opportunity to, in effect, start the relationship over and set it on its proper course.

Please give my suggestions serious consideration. I look forward to discussing this, and to my helping you to building a standardized approach for handling prospective clients. You have a powerful and intelligent Team -- it's just a matter of better-defining yourselves to prospects, taking the controlling position in each relationship from the start, and using your respective skills and talents with better organization and united coordination to subtly overwhelm prospective clients. Yes – they [prospective clients] want and need to be rapidly overwhelmed by you and your firm.

I am confident that you can have a full roster of fee-paying clients under contract if you simply refine and polish your approach. You will win more signed clients, and simultaneously limit any wasted time – consider this to be a means of increasing your operating efficiency in client capture and retention.

Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to offer my comments in response to your prospective client's president's most recent email to you, which was tainted with a bit of condescension, dismissiveness and some disrespect for your value. Be confident that he will not get any financing ($50.0 - $100.0 million!) by his current scatter gun methods and amateur approach. I would suggest that you and your firm cool down and let this wine (i.e., your straying prospective client) ferment a bit more. Then come back heroically when your prospective client has predictably failed in its efforts without your firm's help.

In Friendship and With All Of The Best,

Douglas E. Castle

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Contact me directly at http://bit.ly/CASTLEDIRECT

Leadership: Don't Ask... Tell! -- Douglas E Castle

noreply@blogger.com (Douglas Castle) — Fri, 5 Jun 2015 14:26:00 -0400

If you are a leader (or are aspiring to become one), you'll need to manage people efficiently and effectively. This involves "framing" yourself as a commander instead of as a peer or as a mere moderator. One of the ways that a leader stands out from the crowd is that he or she does not make requests by asking -- he or she makes requests which are always worded as orders.

Instead of asking "Would you do this for me?", a leader who is truly in the proper posture of command will tell a subordinate "I need for you to do this for me. Your time frame to complete this is three business days, starting and including today. If you have any questions, I'll expect you to ask them of me as quickly as they come up, in the interests of meeting the deadline. Thank you." -- and then, following the dismissive "thank you", the leader will be silent and maintain eye contact.

There is power in telling instead of asking. If you ask, you leave yourself vulnerable to the other person's response and questioning; if you tell, you are delivering a command from a position of knowledge (of what needs to be done, how and when), and strength (as in citing your expectation instead of asking for permission).

If you are taking command -- and you should put yourself in the position of command at every possible occasion -- you must remember: Don't ask... Tell! People who ask are open to rejection , while people who tell exude more confidence and an expectation of cooperation from the person with whom they are communicating.

Thank you as always for reading me.

Douglas E. Castle

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TAKING COMMAND! ACHIEVING YOUR OBJECTIVES.

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The Guide to self-mastery, goal-setting, strategic planning and decision making, leadership, management, contingency planning, leveraging assets, rule and domination, choosing allies, dealing with enemies, assessing risk, time management, negotiation... achieving personal authority, influence, wealth and success through total TRANSFORMATION.

Key Terms: Leadership, management, self-growth, self-mastery, personal power, career advancement, negotiation, winning, wealth, success

Leadership: Avoiding Burdensome Bureaucracies -- Douglas E. Castle

noreply@blogger.com (Douglas Castle) — Sat, 23 May 2015 17:50:00 -0400

If you choose to lead or are chosen to lead any organization comprised of Human Beings (most are), you will find your ability to achieve objectives encumbered by burdensome bureaucracies. These bureaucracies are a virtual organizational tradition built on the following behaviors and assumptions in groups:

1) the belief that a committee decision will be better than one made by an individual;

2) the "presumption a democratic process" as the righteous route to societal success;

3) excessive delegation of even the simplest of functions in the interest of jobs creation, full employment and a tendency of many managers to surround themselves with Human insulation or gatekeepers;

4) project management configured in a series formation (i.e., where each step is dependent upon a large number of preceding steps) leading to processing and decision making bottlenecks;

5) excessive specialization in tasking.

Bureaucracies grow like cancers in mismanaged companies, governments and organizations unless leadership imposes a culture comprised of performance-based incentives, individual accountability and self-management. In the three-dimensional hierarchical chart of a well-led organization, the picture resembles more of a pyramid than an ever-widening cylinder.

Remember: Bureaucracies are destroyers of focus, momentum and accomplishment. Effective management makes rapid decisions based upon well-vetted information and immediately proceeds to action instead of wading through a quagmire of bureaucratic red tape, political correctness and petty politics.

Sad Example: ISIS is taking more territory and accumulating more assets while the international anti-terrorism alliance is busily "weighing variables". Apparently actions DO speak louder than rhetoric...

Thank you, as always, for reading me.

Douglas E. Castle

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TAKING COMMAND! ACHIEVING YOUR OBJECTIVES.

http://takingcommand.blogspot.com

The Guide to self-mastery, goal-setting, strategic planning and decision making, leadership, management, contingency planning, leveraging assets, rule and domination, choosing allies, dealing with enemies, assessing risk, time management, negotiation... achieving personal authority, influence, wealth and success through total TRANSFORMATION.

Key Terms: Leadership, management, self-growth, self-mastery, personal power, career advancement, negotiation, winning, wealth, success

Leadership: Strike A Power Pose - Douglas E. Castle - Taking Command

noreply@blogger.com (Douglas Castle) — Tue, 10 Mar 2015 21:03:00 -0400

Command Presence is a necessity for effective leadership. In some individuals, this is intuitive; in others, it must be developed consciously through instruction. To be a leader, you must make those around you feel, beyond a doubt, that you are fully in command and control. You must get people's attention, keep their attention and have them aligned to follow your orders or instructions.

Command Presence is essentially presenting yourself as someone in authority, trusted and respected. This is partially done through the message conveyed by how you LOOK, how you CARRY YOURSELF, how you ACT, and how you SPEAK.

Body Language Is One Of The Keys To The "Appearance" Of Leadership

How you carry yourself portrays command presence or lack of it. Confidence is projected through your body language, and how you verbally deal with individuals and groups.

Walk (or stand) with your head up, eyes alert (as if focused on some object in front of you -- as if a destination point), and your expression intent. You do not want to appear weak or vulnerable. You want to project the image of someone that knows why they are where they are, and who is trained and knows what they are doing. At the initiation of contact, do not smile.

Walk with intent. Don't shuffle your feet or use a "lazy" walk. Pick up your feet and move like you know where you are going, and that you have a purpose in going there. Walk briskly and purposefully in as straight a path as possible. In fact, before you enter a room, or ascend a platform, inspect the spatial layout to determine the straightest, most direct path to the place where you will be speaking.

You need to portray an "I am in charge of this situation" image -- You must strike a power pose. The key is to be outwardly confident - even if on the inside you are scared out of your wits. You want your body language to convey confidence. Stand erect, with your hands on your hips and your legs shoulders' width apart, when addressing a group in a "situation room" or "briefing" environment. Accentuate your verbal points by using a closed hammer fist strike into the open palm of your other hand.

If you are behind a podium, or sitting at a desk, your posture must be erect and powerful, with shoulders squared, and face full forward. Accentuate your speech with powerful hand gestures. Always bear in mind that your physical gestures anchor your words.

To be a leader, you must consistently portray your command presence, and this is mostly done through intelligent and informed use of body language. Remember -- when you are in a position of leadership, your body language (the way you look, walk, stand, sit and gesticulate) speaks volumes.

As always, thank you for reading me.

Douglas E. Castle for The Taking Command! Blog

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TAKING COMMAND! ACHIEVING YOUR OBJECTIVES.

http://takingcommand.blogspot.com

The Guide to self-mastery, goal-setting, strategic planning and decision making, leadership, management, contingency planning, leveraging assets, rule and domination, choosing allies, dealing with enemies, assessing risk, time management, negotiation... achieving personal authority, influence, wealth and success through total TRANSFORMATION.

Key Terms: Leadership, management, self-growth, self-mastery, personal power, career advancement, negotiation, winning, wealth, success

Business Leadership: Founders Versus CEOs - Douglas E. Castle

noreply@blogger.com (Douglas Castle) — Thu, 5 Mar 2015 07:00:00 -0500

Business Leadership: Founders Versus CEOs

By: Douglas E. Castle

Published In: The Taking Command! Blog

Founders tend to be entrepreneurial visionaries, who strive to put their future imagery of success into a machine which we refer to as a business. Founders are largely iconoclasts, rebels and disruptive types with the gifts of imagination, intuition and planning. In contrast, most hired CEOs (many of whom are hired by founders of companies in conjunction with those companies' respective boards of directors) tend to be best at turning intangible visions and printed plans into reality through management and tactical skills. In many cases, founders are excellent strategic thinkers, but are not well-suited toward coordinating all of the moving parts necessary in order to bring a business to the point of achieving its most important objectives.

The way I tend to think about the startup or early-stage enterprise CEO job is fairly simple: In a startup, founders are typically responsible for laying out the vision for the products or services that the company offers, while the CEO is responsible for leading the company towards the execution of that vision. That execution path includes areas such as company protocols, go-to-market strategies, operational structure and many many other aspects that complement the company vision. Similarly, the most important job of a startup founder is to set up the right team and structure to take his or her company to the next level; oftentimes that team requires a new, professional CEO.

A founder may be a great assembler of wonderfully talented Human assets to form a team to fulfill his or her vision, but harnessing, positioning and coordinating the efforts of those assets requires the focused skills of a get-it-done CEO. Founders set a pace, a tone, an image and a corporate culture for the companies which they form. They tend to think outside of the proverbial box, while professional CEOs are used to performing their work within specified parameters, such as budgets, personnel, and other key business variables.

In many cases, particularly in early stages, the roles of founders and CEOs overlap, but this doesn’t imply that the situation must remain that way throughout the lifetime of the company. Certainly, in very early stages, the company founders are in the best position to execute in the original vision of the company. However, after the company reaches certain level the founder-CEOs need to objectively evaluate the best path and team that can maximize the chances of reaching the next set of goals.

NOTE: You can train a CEO but you can’t train a founder….

This is very true. As a startup founder, if you are convinced you are the best person to serve as your company CEO, you have the talent and the desire to make it work there are certainly plenty of resources at your disposal to help you become a world class CEO. Having the right advisors and consultants to support your efforts can be a determining factor in this stage. At any point, you have to be convinced that your role as CEO is the best thing for the company and is not based upon personal ambitions or a need (usually born of insecurity) to control every aspect of your creation.

NOTE: As a founder, you already hold the most important title there is…

In the startup world, there is no greater or more rewarding achievement than founding a company that makes its way to success and to changing the world. As a startup or early-stage business venture founder, focus on always doing the right thing for your company; it is counterproductive to obsess about remaining as CEO if there is a better person to execute on that role. Always remember that you already hold the best tile someone can have: Founder. Without founders, there would never be companies... and without companies infused with the vision of their founders, there would never be any purpose or job for a CEO.

Founders can give the company a Human face and personality. They may be become a charismatic component of the company's branding identity. And very importantly, founders ofttimes make excellent chairpersons because of their ability to conceptualize in "big picture" terms, to remain true to their original vision, and because of their parental dedication to nurturing the company as their minds' offspring.

As always, thank you for reading me. - Douglas E. Castle
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TAKING COMMAND! ACHIEVING YOUR OBJECTIVES.

http://takingcommand.blogspot.com

The Guide to self-mastery, goal-setting, strategic planning and decision making, leadership, management, contingency planning, leveraging assets, rule and domination, choosing allies, dealing with enemies, assessing risk, time management, negotiation... achieving personal authority, influence, wealth and success through total TRANSFORMATION.

Key Terms: Leadership, management, self-growth, self-mastery, personal power, career advancement, negotiation, winning, wealth, success

Negotiating: Speak With One Voice

noreply@blogger.com (Douglas Castle) — Tue, 20 Jan 2015 10:30:00 -0500

Negotiating: Speak With One Voice

When you are engaged in business (or other) negotiations on behalf of your company or team, be certain that you are always negotiating with one voice. Negotiating as an entire team (or as a fragmented group) will almost always work against you and your team in arriving at agreements, settlements or arrangements with vendors, investors or any other outside third party.

Amateurs in the art and science of negotiating often speak with multiple voices when dealing with their counterparts on the other side of the bargaining table, and this usually yields poor results for the team. If your counterpart can divide you, or sees that you are of different minds, he or she will take advantage of that state by putting you in the awkward position of arguing with your own team mates, or of choosing the weakest member of the team to be his or her double agent (or emissary) to the entire group.

If you are entering into negotiations, have your team discussions in private and 1) do not allow your counterpart to either bypass the spokesperson/negotiator for your group, or 2) allow any members of your team to open up a separate channel to the other side.

Of course there are exceptions to this general rule where governments or very large entities are concerned in either intelligence-gathering operations or ambassadorial talks about major treaties and other types of multilevel arrangements. In these situations, there might be some "back-door" or covert secondary discussions behind the scenes or through the ranks for numerous reasons -- but in each of these cases, the team makes its ultimate decisions internally, in private.

In sum, if you must speak in multiple voices (on the rare occasions where this is done by deliberate design), make sure that you are privately sharing information and reaching your own internal agreements about each of the simultaneous or parallel negotiations. So if you are not speaking with one voice, speak with just one mind.

Douglas E. Castle for Taking Command! and for The Douglas E. Castle Consultancy.

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TAKING COMMAND! ACHIEVING YOUR OBJECTIVES.

http://takingcommand.blogspot.com

The Guide to self-mastery, goal-setting, strategic planning and decision making, leadership, management, contingency planning, leveraging assets, rule and domination, choosing allies, dealing with enemies, assessing risk, time management, negotiation... achieving personal authority, influence, wealth and success through total TRANSFORMATION.

Key Terms: Leadership, management, self-growth, self-mastery, personal power, career advancement, negotiation, winning, wealth, success

Leadership: Majority Versus Consensus - Which Is Better And Why?

noreply@blogger.com (Douglas Castle) — Fri, 16 Jan 2015 07:52:00 -0500

Majority Versus Consensus - Which Works Better And Why

If you are tasked with leading or commanding a team, and a group decision is called for under the circumstances (i.e., strategic planning meetings, special meetings of the board of directors, advisory sessions with your "kitchen cabinet" of advisors and experts), you must reach a decision through a discussion followed by a vote.

In voting, a majority just means the approval of the holders of greater than fifty percent of the voting interests or persons present. Consensus means a unanimous vote carved out of brainstorming, head butting, compromise and careful crafting of the precise wording of the motion or decision to be decided upon. Consensus is generally more time-consuming and requires more wrangling, wrestling and effort to reach -- but it also means that the decision made will reflect the voice of every voting person. Unanimity is very powerful in bonding a team to itself (internally) and to the matter at issue (externally, decision by decision). Consensus requires compromise while majority usually does not.

A true consensus works better than a majority because all of the voting participants have "bought in" to the team decision. A majority, while deemed adequate to proceed along a certain path based upon a decision, leaves some participants "out in the cold" and more inclined to hamper progress or to sabotage the efforts of the majority. Frankly speaking, a majority victory leaves potential enemies in an angered, agitated or defeated state, while a consensus is the result of a true joint effort.

If you'd like to proceed along your path to achievement with the combined, cooperative and consolidated efforts of the entire team, unanimity by consensus is the surest method to keep from deviating from your master plan.

Always work toward a consensus. Always work toward compromised but all-inclusive unanimity in voting on important issues.

In closing, one of the earmarks of a great team leader is in his or her ability to moderate any topical discussions toward a consensus before a vote takes place.

Douglas E. Castle For Taking Command!

TAKING COMMAND! ACHIEVING YOUR OBJECTIVES.

http://takingcommand.blogspot.com

The Guide to self-mastery, goal-setting, strategic planning and decision making, leadership, management, contingency planning, leveraging assets, rule and domination, choosing allies, dealing with enemies, assessing risk, time management, negotiation... achieving personal authority, influence, wealth and success through total TRANSFORMATION.

Key Terms: Leadership, management, self-growth, self-mastery, personal power, career advancement, negotiation, winning, wealth, success

TAKING COMMAND! ACHIEVING YOUR OBJECTIVES.

Gain The Advantage In Any Social Situation

1) Assume comfort in any interaction.

2) Pay attention to people’s feet when you are approaching them.

3) Whenever you have an argument with someone, stand next to them and not in front of them.

4) Whenever you need a favor, open with “I need your help.”

5) If you want people to feel good, give them validation. Rephrase what they just told you.

6) If you want to get a positive response from someone, nod while you talk.

7) Want to see if someone is paying attention to what you are saying? Fold your arms.

8) Having trouble remembering names? Repeat the other person’s name during the conversation.

9) If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer, just wait. They will keep talking.

10) People usually focus on the emotion and not on the subject.

11) Confidence is more important than knowledge.

12) Fake it until you make it.

13) Pose in a Power Stance.

14) If you want to be persuasive, try and reduce the use of the words “I think” and “I believe.”

15) A clean and organised environment affects your mood, productivity, and others perception of who you are.

16) Want to find out which people are close to each other within a group and who is perceived as the leader?

17) Whenever you call a person you want to meet, show excitement!

18) Want to build rapport and gain respect? Match body language.

19) When someone insults you, either ignore him or mock him. Never lose temper. Always control the frame.

19) Stand up straight, have warm hands and always keep eye contact.

20) The Benjamin Franklin Effect.

21) Don’t be afraid to touch another person.

22) Use the door-in-the-face hack.

23) Always frame a request as a choice.

24) If you work in a bar or in customer service of any kind…

25) Chew gum if you are nervous.

Monkey Mentality Management

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Related articles

Leadership: Don't Ask... Tell! -- Douglas E Castle

Leadership: Avoiding Burdensome Bureaucracies -- Douglas E. Castle

Leadership: Strike A Power Pose - Douglas E. Castle - Taking Command

Business Leadership: Founders Versus CEOs - Douglas E. Castle

Negotiating: Speak With One Voice

Leadership: Majority Versus Consensus - Which Is Better And Why?