The King Of Flop

Why Bother?

2012-08-12T01:28:00.003+08:00

So there goes another four years down the drain. The Olympics happens every four years, so we have around that time to turn enthusiastic kids into world-class athletes. We have around four years to scout around for individuals who, in my opinion, should be as of this point born with the ancestral DNA of mythical creatures; demigods who were kissed by the deities' own bloodline, giving them superpowers that will allow them to perform great feats.

So we ask the same question every time our athletes go home with store-bought souvenirs instead of gold medals: Why did we NOT win a single medal?

I admit, I am not a sports official so I will not be able to answer that question. Instead, I will ask a question that the ordinary guy-off-the-street could ask (and possibly answer): why do we even bother sending athletes when we know they will not win anyway?

I tried to ask a couple of people that question, and almost all of them have the same answer: Its not winning that counts, its the experience. Its the fact that we were able to represent our country in the prestigious sporting event. Its the camaraderie, its the friendship, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah.

I got no qualms about that; but isn't it the reason why we join competitions is to win, at least? If they sent athletes for the sake of camaraderie and world peace in the first place, then they just should have sent ME instead; they will not need to spend four years training me. They will not need to spend money for my gym usage, my foreign coaches and their hotel expenses, among others. I could just show up on the day, fly out to London, march, smile, and wave on the opening ceremony, and just be crappy on the competition itself because after all, that's all I came out to do. This means that if an official from the Philippine Sports Commission would go on record in saying that winning is not important in this case, and they do not even bother thinking about ways on how to make our athletes win, and it's all about representing the country and winning just comes at a close second, then I take back everything I say.

If the coaches knew that their swimmer could never reach the best qualifying time for the medals round, then what's the point of sending him out?

MY point is, if the trainers even knew that their athletes will barely pass qualifying rounds and will have absolutely NO CHANCE of reaching the medal round, then why even bother sending them out there in the first place? If the swimming coaches knew that their swimmer could never reach the best qualifying time for the medals round, then what's the point of sending him out?

I remember two or three days ago when Olympic Team Philippines' final bet, Danny Caluag for the BMX competition, was able to qualify for the second round of eliminations. Caluag barely made it (he was in final qualifying position), and when asked if he was worried for placing last in the qualifying round and if it worried him at all, he shrugged and with all confidence, he stated that the time trials did not worry him at all, and placing last did not mean that he can't get a medal.

As of this writing, I've read in an Inquirer.net article that Caluag placed LAST (yet again) in the second round of eliminations, therefore disqualifying him from moving forward. I held on to his every word. I believed him for I did not know much about the BMX competition, so who am I to question what he can do? What happened to the bravado, the machismo, and the attitude? It would have been better if he admitted to the public that he knew that he was not going to win a medal, and he was there for the experience and the prestige of adding the title of 2012 Olympian to his name.

This being said, I say we completely FORGET about the Olympics because its hopeless and pointless; please spare us the time, money, effort, and the emotional investment because we already know the outcome. I say we invest all our powers to other sporting endeavors like football (the Azkals), Boxing (Pacquiao, Julaton, Donaire, etc.), Softball (Team Manila, recent champions of Big League Softball Championships in Michigan), and others.

Like I said, I am no sports specialist, but I suggest during the next Olympics, we should just watch the opening ceremony and then turn the TV off.

When Gods Walked Among Us

2012-07-17T22:56:00.002+08:00

The Patron God of Lightbulbs. Don't Ask Me Why.

As we put all of the shenanigans behind us and move forward to the unknown future, I unexpectedly realize that I am gradually becoming a part of the entire affair of the death of Dolphy. As a longtime spectator from the window existence, little by little I sense that I am feeling the after-effects of his passing.

His movies and TV shows had become a part of our being one way or another; and for my slice of the pie, it was during the late 1980’s when RPN9 was Dolphy’s kingdom. It started out with ‘John ‘n’ Marsha’, so I think, and then there was ‘Plaza 1899’ (where he played the captain of a barangay full of other great comedians like Panchito, Babalu, Don Pepot, and others), and then there was ‘Gabi ni Dolphy’ which was an evening variety show. After he had gone to other things, RPN showcased Dolphy’s body of work during weekday mornings through RVQ presents, where his movies such as ‘My Heart Belongs To Daddy’, ‘Titser’s Pet’, ‘My Bugoy Goes to Congress’, and ‘The Quick Brown Fox’ became brunch staples.

And in thinking beyond Dolphy’s passing, Fernando Poe Jr. suddenly came to mind, and I became concious of the fact that we will never again see a new FPJ film. Going further than that, I realize that Lino Broca is dead too; and so is Rudy Fernandez, Panchito, Dindo Fernando, and all the other people who once made up what was once great in Pinoy entertainment.

As he rightfully takes his place on Mount Olympus, we now have a complete pantheon of gods looking after us, a book of heroes and legends that all should try to measure up to.

The sad fact is not because Dolphy is dead but rather he was the last one; and all of them are gone. These folks did not just live and die in their own time, these are people whom everybody looked up to; from the aspiring dramatic actor and director to the simplest tricycle driver and blue collar family man. All of them had something to say once, and we all listened. We agreed and disagreed with them, imagining ourselves talking in their voices and disagreeing with them, laughing at their mistakes and see them laugh at us for ours, and despising them for their evil.

Like the ceasars and pharaohs of old, now that Dolphy is dead, he is deified. As he rightfully takes his place in Mount Olympus, we now have a complete pantheon of gods looking after us, a book of heroes and legends that all should try to measure up to. Future comedians, actors and directors now have patron saints; for every time they try to take their careers to the next step or even by just finishing a scene, they can now ask themselves: “Did I measure up? Am I doing right now as he did?”

Oh. I forgot! Nora and Vilma are still around, so I guess not all are lost.

Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank: Eugene Domingo’s Film All the Way

2012-04-06T17:27:00.001+08:00

First and foremost, I have not read a single review for the movie “Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank”, so as not to influence my critique.

Secondly, being that this is a well-loved movie, allow me to put the blame upon all the made-up hype and propaganda claiming that this film is too good to be true; and I hold the people’s word-of-mouth liable for what may sound as a bad assessment coming from me.

“Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank” stars Eugene Domingo, JM De Guzman, and Kean Cipriano, and it is an inside look into the creation of Filipino indie (independent) movies through the misadventures of three (no, two!) young filmmakers. Eugene Domingo plays a fictional version of herself (and perhaps realistic versions of well-known Filipina actresses) who is asked to be the star in the movie that will be shot and filmed by the producer played by JM De Guzman and idealistic director played by Kean Cipriano. Not to give away any important details, the movie is about the brainstorming of two filmmakers on how to go about creating THE movie masterpiece worthy of the annual foreign film festival circuit, and along way they encounter mishaps and strange circumstances. The premise of the film-within-the-film deals with Ms. Domingo as a mother who was forced to sell one of her children to a pedophile due to extreme poverty.

It seemed as though the entire movie is an acting piece made with her in mind; a well-written personal resumé to keep the juicy parts coming in.

Now the bitter herbs: story-wise, there’s not much to go on; just a day in the life of two individuals conversing about making a movie. The supposed “plot-twists” (two of them) are strategically placed in the final moments of the movie to add extra oomph to an otherwise-dreary storytelling; I’m not even going to say why the movie is called “Babae sa Septic Tank” because I just might ruin it for folks who have not seen it yet. One could swear that they took the plot from an old high school stage play trick wherein they act out a single scene in different styles (Violent, Melodramatic, Musical, Slow Motion, etc.). Creativity and effort towards direction and production design are unmistakable (given the probable lack of budget common to these kinds of movies), but it still lacks the grip to keep viewers interested until the very last moment.

The real gem of the movie is Eugene Domingo. It seemed as though the entire movie is an acting piece made with her in mind; a well-written personal resumé to keep the juicy parts coming in. Once again she proves her adaptability in different kinds of characters; even if it is just in one movie. She upstages every single actor and actress in all of the scenes she is in. She plays the prima donna, the poor mother, the broadway performer, and the cliché drama actress all quite masterfully. The movie should have been eponymously titled “The Eugene Domingo Movie”, but that would make one of her in-movie counterparts just too happy.

Altogether, “Ang Babae sa Septic Tank” is quite forgettable, but nevertheless deserves applause for the effort. There were a lot of things that could have been done to make it way better. for some people it may be enough, but take Eugene Domingo away from it and the entire picture would be crumble to dust.

We can thank them for teaching some basics on budget filmmaking, though.

Sex in the Philippine Cinema: Nude Ladies and Sex Scenes Galore! (Warning: possible explicit content)

2012-04-04T08:13:00.008+08:00

How long has it been since we last saw a pito-pito movie?

By pito-pito movie, I mean those soft porn, for adults only movies that have absolutely no story value at all; movies that were made in seven days or less (hence the name) which translates to minimum output, maximum pay for sexual deviants masquerading as film producers in the mid to late 90’s? To be perfectly honest, the last one I saw was “Anakan Mo Ako” starring Klaudia Koronel, back when I was in college. These movies, as it may, are successors to the ST (Sex Trip) films, which are successors of the Bold Films, which were successors of the Pene (penetration, with close-ups of actual penises going into vaginas) films. Today we have indie films carrying the torch.

Forgive my innocent heart, but I thought these movies were works of art. Really. Seriously. Probably because they kept telling us that these were pieces of Rembrandts and Picassos way back when a major movie star was our president and Armida Siguion-Reyna was our MTRCB chair. I remember Armida laughing at the faces of conservatives when she allowed movies with titles such as “Malagkit”, “Kapag Ang Palay Naging Bigas May Bumayo”, “Sisirin”, “Anakan Mo Ako”, “Sex Education”, and many more, saying that they find these titles harmless and funny at worst, and they do convey important, current societal messages.

With Angela Velez’s android boobs, you can never go wrong.

When I first watched “Anakan mo ako”, it was about a dying indigenous tribe of women in which the existence of their culture depended upon the remaining two men, one of which is infertile, and the race to impregnate as many women as possible is the key to their survival. “Sex Education”, meanwhile is a coming of age story about college students who goes through trials. In the end they grow older and wiser and never look back. I found myself in the shoes of the chracters as I was going through the same things they were (pun unintended).

Back then, this was a time when my idealism was hungry and knowledge was the food of choice. Growing up in a church-going family meant that Jesus is always right and everything else is the devil (non-negotiable), and watching women perform simulated sex scenes in ridiculous movies pretending to be messages to society was a complete taboo. I was a good son, but this was my form of rebellion against the establishment, creepy and disturbing it may sound.

Idealism and rebellion withdrawn, “Anakan Mo Ako” was nothing more than a poorly-made porno. The acting, if they were acting, was horrible, and the best performance would be Klaudia Koronel’s moans and groans as she pretended to reach orgasm in all 4 of her sex scenes; and who would believe that a poor and hungry tribe of women were composed of attractive, scantily-clad, big-boobed sexpots? “Sex Education” was even more absurd and mindless; as I pretended to be watching a classic in the lines of Mark Gil’s “Batch ’81” and an edgier version of “Bagets”, I was actually watching softcore garbage with 30-something actresses pretending to be 16 or 17, having simulated sex. With Angela Velez’s android boobs, you can never go wrong.

We have Henry Sy to thank for killing the pito-pito industry when he banned showing them at SM Cinemas.

Which brings me to, believe it or not, the point of all this. As an actor on these movies, how do you grow old to live a normal life with children, knowing that there was a point in your life when you willingly allow yourself to be exposed for millions to see and allow yourselves to be masturbated upon repeatedly for generations to come? How do you get over the fact that, in the advent of the internet, your legacy to the world will be your fake boobs and your unshaved pubes for people to ogle and salivate on? And how do you live with the fact that when you type your name on Google, you will see a big picture of your hard, throbbing penis?

Just asking. Immortality’s a bitch.

A Letter of Apology

2012-01-12T08:36:00.004+08:00

Everyday for the last 3 or 4 years, we have been bombarded by news of former president and incumbent Pampanga Representative Gloria Arroyo's alleged misdeeds and corruption while she and her husband were in power: The ZTE scandal, the Hello Garci brouhaha and the vote-rigging in Mindanao, various alleged misuse of public funds, the awesome US mansions that they owned, the midnight appointments, and much more. The day is never a day when we do not hear anything new about another government fund that was misappropriated or mishandled by her or any one of her friends in high places.

However, to make this sound less political, this really is not about our former president. This is really about me; I have been living in shame within the last decade. This is because I was not only aware about what was happening, but I also committed the unforgivable crime of letting the offenders get away with it—and grab power.

Yes. I voted for Gloria Arroyo to be president.

As far back as a year before the election, I already had my mind made up to vote for Raul Roco, and it was not a care whether he was going to lose or not; I voted for him the previous elections when he lost, but that never unfazed me. He was an honorable man and he was brilliant, and I was going to vote for him again because it was the right thing to do.

And then the unthinkable happened: Fernando Poe Jr. announced his candidacy.

I did not hold a grudge against FPJ. By then he was the greatest Filipino actor who ever lived, but it was the mere fact that he didn't know jack about politics and he was being backed up by then ultra-corrupt former president Joseph Estrada that I realized the country was going to the pits if FPJ had become president.

And then, Raul Roco was rushed to the hospital for fatigue (I think), and he had announced that he was putting a stop to his sorties in the middle of campaign period for health reasons. I was still going to vote for him, but I already had doubts. This time I began to think and weigh my decision: If I vote for Roco, he will lose anyway and I would have wasted my vote, and FPJ may get the upper hand from president Arroyo; and if that someone in the palace did not have clue on what he's doing, then the country will truly go to the dogs.

This time, family pressure was already on my shoulders. My family, the patriarch being an ultra-right wing conservative, wanted me to vote for Arroyo. For years I did not care for their political ideals because I came to realize that they have been wrong in that area before. "We do not have a choice, Paul," they said. "Would you throw your vote to a losing candidate, or would you throw it to someone who could actually win against corruption and ignorance? Do not waste your vote on someone who will not win! Vote for Gloria, and we are sure not to have FPJ as president."

The advice sounded painful, but by then I had made the most difficult decision and the biggest political mistake of my life: I heeded their advice. The tip of my pen was on the ballot, still having second thoughts; I then breathed heavily and began to write her full name above the line in capital letters: GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO. There.

I got pats on the back. Very well done, ol' chap. I did this not because of myself, but because I did not want the president of this country to be someone ignorant only to be a puppet by a gambling drunkard who we just ousted a few years ago.

Of course Arroyo won, by a margin of a million plus votes. I breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was fine for a time.

Then one scandal after another popped up. Election-rigging. ZTE. Hello Garci. Mansions. By then, I thought that I had been betrayed. Raped; sodomized by an army of demons in the depths of Hell. Every time a news article comes up, I cannot help but feel gravely responsible for it. The vote I threw for Arroyo was wasted as well anyway, being that she did not really need it. She already made up for it through the vote-rigging. I even fought for her in chat circles; I told them that these were all lies, and they should take their cases to court...

...Only to have all those cases strategically steered by a court of her own peers.

If I voted for Roco in the first place, I would not have been a part of this grand larceny. He may have lost, yes, but I should still have kept my dignity intact. I would have had the smug and smarts to stand up and laugh at those who voted for her.

Funny thing is, I think it would have been better if FPJ became president. So FPJ was the lesser evil. Imagine that.

It took time for me to realize that I am guilty. This is my fault, all this. Even this very second, the end is nowhere in sight. Arroyo still has the mists of darkness over us, but now there is a light of hope that is being held by a few. There are pain and heartaches more to come and it will probably take a few more years before we rid ourselves completely of this mess that I am partly responsible for.

I am sorry for not having a backbone to stand up for nobility. I am REALLY sorry that I listened to my family's advice; and I am sorry that I voted for Arroyo.

I hope that you all could forgive me.

The Death of Radio: A Eulogy

2011-12-29T08:51:00.005+08:00

We remember that it was the middle of the year when our favorite radio station, 106.7 DreamFM signed off to be replaced by something else that screams "Hi Pangga!" every few minutes; and it was 2010 (I think) when the Rock of Manila, NU 107, breathed its final breath and died to be replaced by a "winner" radio station.

Blame Steve Jobs and the iPod, blame the music pirates online and offline, but this much is true: the radio that we all came to know and love for decades is now dead. Otherwise, radio is now in a coma, with a lot of tubes and a breathing apparatus, and a single stroke more would kill it off completely.

In Dream FM's case, the former Kool 106.7 and DreamFM is owned by ABC 5 or TV5 to TV world, which is in turn owned by Mr. I-will-never-run-out-of-money-come-hell-or-high-water-because-of-PLDT Manny Pangilinan. When he took over the reigns of TV5 from previous owner Tonyboy Cojuangco, he probably thought that a radio station that caters to the elitist, relaxing jazz audience might not be as profitable as a mass audience radio station; thus the changeover.

Having a respectable number of radio stations is not a problem, but having a respectable number of radio stations that sound and feel exactly the same, may be.

This probably goes the same for Citilite 88.3, LA 105, Campus Radio, DWKC, NU 107 (the last bastion of Rock in the Philippines), Radio Romance, WLL (you are the music, and I'm your guitar), and of course Kool 106/DreamFM. God bless RJFM, RX93, DZFE (The Master's Touch), Crossover, and a handful of other "Spartans" who gallantly and hopelessly keep the flag raised amidst the pressure of giving up camp and just packing up.

Nobody listens to radio anymore because everybody prefers their iPods and media players, which can completely control the way music is listened to. I may be an accomplice to the murder because I own a media player myself, but I do miss the element of surprise, that time wherein you patiently wait for the DJ to play that one song that you have been waiting for for a couple of hours; and when it finally does play, you clasp a fist to our side and say "yesssss" and proceed to crank up the volume. Nowadays, the usual radio fare consist of lowbrow jokes, irritating chatterbox DJ's, the annoying radio station ID, Air Supply, Slow Rock, and Jovit Baldovino.

How I missed the way LSFM's The Triggerman took in requests from his top 20 at 12 playlist and rudely hung up the phone for callers who wanted to greet their friends. I miss the Graveyard Shift with a DJ that sounds like a stoned Count Dracula on WKC. Most specially, I miss tuning in to the most stress-free sounds on Citilite and DreamFM, while driving home from work.

Let us make it clear that there is nothing wrong with what we hear presently on radio; and we still do have quite a number of stations on air. However, this is ultimately not the case. Having a respectable number of radio stations is not a problem, but having a respectable number of radio stations that sound and feel exactly the same, may be. Let us not name names, but more than Half of the radio stations that are on air are similar to each other: all of them have DJ's with annoying puns for pseudonyms, all of them share the same mindless jokes, the same kid who mentions their station ID and motto, and all of them share all 10 songs on their playlist.

Again, broadcasting is big business. When they felt that the radio we knew was only for a handful of people, they changed it to make it more mass-appealing. What they failed to realize is that by doing so, they turned into the very same thing that they fought against.

Batangas Brouhaha: Cleverly winning tourists back to Batangas

2011-10-23T19:27:00.006+08:00

Thanks to Facebook User Alan Chan for the photo.

I have to hand it to the folks over at the HollywoodPilipinas facebook page. This shows how creativity and humor can be a source of social consciousness. The stream of funny pictures really is a treasure trove of endless fun.

I do have to admit that this idea of putting up a Hollywood-style signage on taal lake may be one of Governor Vilma's not-so-better ideas, but I can definitely understand why there is a need for her government to OWN BACK the Taal Lake tourist-cow. Of course, being a Batangas-elected official, the Governor has to find ways on how to protect the interests of her Batanguenio constituents, and this is what people fail to realize.

She just does not want to make it public, but she has every right to think of ways on how to win back the Taal tourists and business from Cavite that rightfully belongs to Batangas.

Everybody knows how the Taal lake view is a beautiful creation and everybody wants to see it. So naturally, the tourists that Taal brings are big business. I would say that the Governor just started asking the question why Cavite gets all the Taal tourists whereas Taal is naturally located in Batangas; so naturally, the Batanguenios should be the one reaping all the benefits. Right? In truth, this is not so.

So, I'm making it my personal mission to defend the Governor in this case. She just does not want to make it public, but she has every right to think of ways on how to win back the Taal tourists and business from Cavite that rightfully belongs to Batangas. This 'Batangas sign' idea is very wrong though; funny, but very wrong.

I'm not from Batangas (I'm from Tarlac; and I love the Tarlac sign that i saw on HollywoodPilipinas), but you Batanguenios have every right to win back your tourists from Tagaytay. I'd say Tagaytay is using your Taal Lake, and they are getting more tourists than you.

You have every right to fight for it.

Just not with a stupid Hollywood sign.

Review of 'No Other Woman': Your textbook mistress melodrama

2011-10-15T15:18:00.007+08:00

Thanks to the owner of the photo.

After 2 years, I'm back; and before that there was nothing.

I am forced out of my self-imposed Filipino movie exile to share my two cents about the new movie everybody in town is talking about: No Other Woman.

The movie stars ABS-CBN's Derek Ramsey as the philandering husband of Cristine Reyes, and Anne Curtis as the fighting mistress. Other cast members include Tirso Cruz III and others, who clearly lent their names in the posters for the money.

Firstly, how many movies were made with this same movie title? Secondly, how many other movies were created, sans the movie title, with the same premise about a philandering husband? These questions asked tells us that this movie has absolutely nothing new to offer the moviegoing public.

My other distaste probably came from the fact that that there's absolutely nothing I can relate to in the movie: not the setting, the premise, and absolutely not the characters.

The hype surrounding the movie was blown out of proportion and near destructive that left a very bad taste in my mouth. My other distaste probably came from the fact that that there's absolutely nothing I can relate to in the movie: not the setting, the premise, and absolutely not the characters. The beauty of La Union is unmistakable, but none of us own a resort there... Well, maybe a fraction of a percent of the entire population. The story, as said before, is very commonplace; just look around for a married friend or a co-worker who still tries to hit on that new-hired chick, and if he succeeds, look at their miserable wives and you will know that these people are who this movie's market audience are. The fantastical destroyer of suspension of disbelief is that affairs like this almost always DO NOT end happily; so there goes your reality right there. Some might say that it is only a movie, but how the story went is just too ridiculous to be enjoyed. Most of the time I was slapping my forehead, scoff-laughing, and shaking my head; and then I was playing 'Snake III' on my mobile phone. I kept asking myself: "Who talks like that?" I've seen a personal debate or two but I have never heard anybody argue cinematically.

The premise is commonplace: a self-confessed ex-playboy breaks his personal vows as he falls for the lucious traps of a femme fatale. However, the events and occurrences that shape the twists of the story are near impossible-to-fantastical: after having his way with both his wife and his mistress, he became confused as to which girl to choose, while the women fight over him in catty, epic cliche 80's dialogue proportions. Suddenly, In true Deus Ex Machina style, the story finishes with anout-of-place tragic realization

This movie is owned by the three lead actors, and as said before, the supporting actors are clearly unimportant; their roles should create a ground for reality as they give 3-sentence advices to make things extra-confusing. However, put them in or remove them and nothing changes. The only good thing that came out of this story would be Ms. Curtis' acting. Who would've thought that the teeny-bopping, lollipop wielding little darling would grow up and be taught to act? She's thousands of lightyears away from when she left GMA Artist Center, and in turn they must really be kicking their own arses for letting her go; or is it that they really do not invest in acting classes for their actors?

That being said, I would say that 'No Other Woman' is definitely not worth the fare. What should have been a quest for the filmmakers to create an unforgettable, timeless movie in the vein of 80's dramas such as the ones created by Bernal and Brocka turned out to be a forgettable, moneymaking fad to keep the movie department afloat. We are way better off watching a stress-free, feelgood movie like 'Dolphin Tale' after a long day of work. Some of us need not reminded of the stresses in our lives.

Bloody Monday

2009-11-29T04:41:00.002+08:00

Photo courtesy of Babble.com.

Please allow me to say a few words about it.

We live in a future time. Historians, scientists, and sociologists have said time and time again that we have reached the height of our civilization: universal harmony and understanding, a millennia worth of information at the touch of a button, technology that make life a lot easier. It is easy to think that we have left innumerable mistakes of times past to arrive at where we now.

So it’s very difficult to understand why there are still some people in the world with the brains of cold-blooded mass murderers, tyrants and warlords of history. It is easy, however, to understand the shock that the whole world felt about what happened on that fateful Monday in a remote location in Maguindanao. Nobody expected that any human nowadays would still be capable of shameless, soulless, heartless slaughter of innocents.

Journalists butchered. Women raped, tortured and killed. Humanity desecrated. One can only think that this only happened during the Dark Ages when kings fought for power or when despots struggled to keep their control by purging their enemies, making examples of their victims to the public to never cross them again.

We may be many miles away from where it all happened, but we cannot deny the fact that we will forever be affected by it. From now on, we must make sure that this never happens in the future.

We should never allow such monsters to govern us again. We have the capability to make this so; next year we will display this power.

We will never forget.

NOW UPDATING... once a year nervous chuckle

2009-11-21T23:30:00.004+08:00

I'll explain why I posted this picture of Joey Mead later. Thanks to Rogue Magazine, by the way.

I did promise to update a bit more regularly, but apparently, my life is taking a lot of my time away from this blog. That is aside from the fact that I've gotten sick and tired of posting the same old crap every time: bashing GMA or ABS' new noontime or evening soap opera. I thought that we hippies who want a frickin' revolution *peace sign* against the tyranny of brainless and shameless TV programs would emerge victorious, but even us freedom fighters get tired of the same crap as well. Pepe and Ninoy, I am not worthy.

During those rare times that I visit my blog, I come across those of you (3 or 4 of you... heheh) that believe in the cause. It is you guys who make me want to update again and march on. I also hope that you guys do the same so that we can save our children from the evils of dumb TV.

The past year, we've seen more of the same dumbing children's fantasy from GMA, and surprisingly, a back-to-basics mode from ABS-CBN.

GMA gave us (and our aching intelligence) a new superstar in the persona of Marian Rivera, whom I know you guys are familiar with as the former afternoon soap opera princess. Apparently, GMA discovered a gold mine in MR; however, again, it's more of the same from the acid-induced writers of GMA: soap opera versions of Marimar (a mexican telenovela remake), Dyesebel, Ang Babaeng Hinugot Sa Aking Tadyang, and a dumber version of Darna.

What surprised me though is that ABS-CBN bravely attempts to go back to the formula they becale famous for: original story soaps free of fantasy in the form of Tayong Dalawa. The effort is there, guys, but... naaah.

I will review most of them later on (I promise!) right after I clear a few things in my life. In the meantime, I sincerely thank the 4 or 5 people who read the blog. I remeber what was said in the bible that when 2 or 3 are gathered in my name I am in... ehh. Whatever.

Oh and I posted Joey Mead's picture because she's hot.

2 years gone: so what happened?

2008-10-17T18:02:00.001+08:00

2 years gone: so what happened?

There came a time back in 2006 wherein I realized that I was getting tired of watching the same old bull crap over and over from ABS CBN and GMA. It was always the same: lame-duck TV shows masquerading as blockbusters: the year's hottest teen sensation as everybody's idol superhero in this season's hottest stupid action soap opera ever. Here's a brief recap of some of the shows that I 'apparently' missed over the last 2 years:

Lupin: I just wanted to point out that this particular 'Lupin' is not the wacky 70's and 80's Japanese series 'Lupin III' that we all know and love. The 'Lupin license' that GMA obtained is for the 'Arsene Lupin' character created by French author Maurice Lamarche. The original Lupin was set in the early 20th century and even pitted the gentlemanly thief against Sherlock Holmes in some literature. The GMA version of 'Lupin' is well made enough, however, it still suffered the usual stock soap opera story arches. Richard Gutierrez who played Lupin is still the cardboard actor that he is, but the show is ultimately saved by Janno Gibbs comic portrayal of Lupin’s arch-enemy.

Zaido: This is GMA's attempt to remake the 80's tokusatsu classic 'Shaider'. This was a disaster from the get-go; since the original Japanese producers did not actually allow GMA to use the name 'Shaider' because I think they found out that GMA can never ever duplicate or replicate the legend and quality of the 80's classic. Well whaddaya know: the Japanese producers are so clever, they were right. Zaido is nothing but a very poor 'follow up' to the original. Some Shaider fans (including myself) do not consider Zaido to be canonical; it's nothing but a funny fan fiction to the far-superior original.

Super Twins: This show is GMA’s sinking to the lowest depths of TV remake-ness. Nobody knows where this came from: the costumes of heroine characters of Jennylyn Mercado and Nadine Samonte are clearly ripped-off from the Japanese Anime series Sailor Moon, but the story is clearly a formation from the imagination of some third grade pupil. My 10 year-old cousin could weave a more intricate and intelligent plotline than the whole legion of writers that GMA has. The only redeeming factor for this show is, yup, the wonderfully skimpy costumes that fed all hot-blooded males’ perversions right out of the pants.

Lobo: ABS CBN probably thought that once they have Angel Locsin in their possession, the tides of the network war might turn in their favor. Well, they were dead wrong. ‘Lobo’ was about characters that could turn into werewolves, and their soap opera journey of self-discovery. Angel Locsin thought that she can carry her luck over from GMA, but apparently, lady luck has loyalties as well. This just goes to prove that piracy, in all forms, does not pay.

So far I think that vacation was well worth taken. Apparently, I didn't miss a thing. It was as though I never left, because things remain the same; TV is still stupid.

A New Beginning...

2008-10-16T18:31:00.005+08:00

I'm back. It's been a pretty long while since I last posted, and now look... my hair's all grown out.

I'm going to try my very best to be regularly reviewing and criticizing; there are a lot of laughable things happening in the movie and TV world that I can't just sit around and watch everything go by without me slinging a little mud their way. This blog is just way too fun.

Watch out, because things just might turn a bit nasty.

Hail!

2006-12-08T09:04:00.000+08:00

Photo Courtesy of pji.com

When Cesar Montano was asked if audiences would feel alienated with his artsy-type poster for his new movie 'Ligalig', this is what he told his shallow-minded inquirers: "I really want to uplift the taste of our viewers. I owe it to them. Kung hindi natin ngayon iaangat ang taste nila, kailan pa?"

Hails and praises to you, Cesar. Finally after all these years, a Filipino actor/director gets the courage to present a statement as hopeful as this. Too long have waited for an actor to actually say something as profound as this sentence.

Now the question remains: When will the other moron actors and actresses follow?

The Kapuso Proactive files: Kicking away the telenovela format

2006-11-09T11:21:00.000+08:00

I was a part of this group blog last year called Kapuso Proactive, a branded blog but very much with the same mission as this blog, about ideas on how to improve the Filipino TV viewing experience... only I had the opportunity to break away from the passive stance of the said page and become a bit more spicy. Still, Kapuso Proactive (now inactive, pun intended) was full of interesting ideas and debates. This entry is one of my favourites because it contains a heated argument about Soap Operas.

Kicking away the TELENOVELA format

Philippine television seemed to have caught the telenovela format from it's Latino predeccesors... Filipinos now fully-embrace the 30-minutes a night format for almost all of its primetime programs: from drama series to the fantaserye fad. Networks have adapted the format, solely to create a continuum; as the 30-minute show ends with a cliffhanger, viewers are forced to watch the next episodes for the next few days... keeping their ratings high intact for the whole week.

Of course, this is brought about by the fact that the networks think that the Filipino audience has low attention span, and the usual once-a-week TV show cannot maintain the curiousity and interests of the viewer.

In comparison, in the U.S., the best and most popular and legendary TV shows are the once-a-week shows like 'The West Wing', 'CSI', '24', among others. Daily thirty-minute shows are contained in daytime soaps, which majority of viewers think is 'cornball'.

Here in the Philippines, fond memories of 'John en Marsha', 'TODAS', 'Plaza 1899' and the like come back, informing us that the golden age of television may have passed years and years ago.

The questions are: has the telenovela format destroyed the once-a-week format? Will the destruction (pardon the expression) of the soap opera format eventually bring about a development in viewing habits?

5:11 PM | Read Entry

21 Comments:
varga29 said...
Right there, innocentyears...

I'm likewise wishing-and-washing that we Filipino tele-consumers "kick the habit" of telenovel-izing our daily lives. Major networks can't even stick to evening primetime schedules any longer - it is just labeled as a block (e.g. KiliTV, TeleFantasya somethin' block). What if we as viewers express our disatisfaction in thunderous volume and intensity to the networks. What if we tell them that life isn't telenovelish any longer; that the present pace of Philippine life and progress as we want to see and feel it does not suit the pace they are setting for us. What if we start telling them that we deserve intelligent Entertainment. What if we demand creative, up-to-standard television programming. What if we say we're not amused with their Hollywood copycat tv programs. What if we stop gawking in awe at these unwatchable, unfit, unreliable and sorry excuses for noontime/morning/game/showbiz/news/"lifestyle" hosts and personalities, and absolutely+irrepressably let out all their nationwide tv blunders and stupidities.

Point: We've become a nation entertained by a sorry excuse for television entertainment. We just don't want to try harder! We don't want to excel and be different - both of which can be achieved simultaneously. We just prefer to sit there laughing at the sorriest jokes, crying a tear for the most inept acting, empathizing with characterless personalities...

Suggestion: Why don't we just scrap the data (i.e. demographics, market research, etc) for once and be brave enough to put out there a good show with good topics, with good treatments, with good concepts, with good hosts...and then we can start being excellent.

5/20/2005 12:05 PM
South Rock said...
Yes, foreign shows are like that. I think we should adopt it, but I wonder if it'll work or "click" like the daily soap. A daily soap is easy to get hooked on to, and easier to remember. But a 1 hour per week schedule would give more time the cast and crew to polish, edit and even re-shoot the episodes. It would be less expensive too.

5/20/2005 5:48 PM
varga29 said...
I guess the main motivation for the telenovela craze is advertising income.

I wonder if late night tv can still make a comeback. These shows just suddenly disappeared. There are no more late night talk shows. I guess there are no hosts to do the job also (ngeek!)

I'm not really looking for a throwback to the 70s (Ms.Cellaneous, - tama ba spelling? - Penthouse7, Two for the road, etc.) or 80s (Open Forum with Randy David (?), Tell the People with Julie Yap Daza, etc.) These types of shows can mostly be seen only on ANC21. Kaya lang I really miss the talk, be it more about content, intellect, or the simple, laid back charms of those shows hosts.

It's a simple reflection that even showbiz has given up on trying. That's the story of our media alter egos: showbiz/media powerplayers get all excited about a craze, and when the energy & interest dies down our typical Filipino letdown attitudes come to fore. We just allow our very own creations die torturous deaths - without dignity, without respect.

5/21/2005 12:14 AM
cynically hopeful said...
in the US, they have most of their soaps in daytime slots (targeting stay-at-home market). philippine networks are placing the teledramas at night to maximize viewer exposure, but unknowingly contributing to pinoys' fatigue. imagine coming from a long day's work, to only see more drama and hardships on the tv. then it's every single day of the week pa! how draining!

we need something that would boost us up intellectually (not emotionally) and weekly format shows ARE a good solution. while they haven't been entirely scrapped over teleseryes, they're limited to one-story segments (yes, blame it on pinoy's short-attention span), like comedies or mini-teledrama movies.

notes with weekly shows:
- ..actors get to rest. then rehearse more to really get into their characters
- ..other artists, writers, et al can be given more exposure with the inclusion of more shows
- ..production not only has more time to polish, but also to view viewer reactions form aired episodes, and make the appropriate changes
- actually, teleserye shows (like encantadia) are good candidates for weekly formats.

5/21/2005 1:05 AM
varga29 said...
Pinoys (and our future permutations) will consistenly desire to see anything that's colorful and lively on tv. If not, tv shows must just as well carry that emotional weight for present and future Filipinos to take a bite out of it/ or 'para kagatin'.

We will successfully move forward just as long as we carefully ride on this formula while introducing stronger+newer formulas for younger, more imaginative viewers to appreciate. The reality bug wouldn't have caught on easily if say this was introduced in the 90s - it would just seem so out-of-this-world back then, even offensive perhaps, just too strong for pinoy viewership.

Morning soaps don't really attract that many Pinoy stay-at-homes because our house chores aren't fully aided by technological devices compared to more progressive countries. Morning programs are dominated by the C/D/E-30somethings upward market who do not necessarily have the comparative luxury of doing all chores simultaneously with the help of machines and devices. Kapag medyo pa-inin na ang sinaing at malambot na ang baboy, doon pa lang ako makakaupo at magtutuon ng pansin sa telebisyon. Sayang naman ang kuryente kung pagsasabay-sabayin ko at di naman ako makapanood ng mabuti. Kaya nga siguro ang unang graphics ng EatBulaga ay palayok na umuusok na tv show title ang laman. Parang ito ang reward mo sa kalahating araw mong pagwawalis, pagpupunas, pagdilig, pagluluto, pagkukula, paglalaba, pamamalengke, etc.

Ang dasal ko ay magkaroon ng morning show na may katuturan at hindi puro traffic report, showbiz tsismis, krimen, katiwalian, at mga problemang 'Pinas na walang patutunguhan. Hindi nakakaganang panuurin sa umaga, especially if the hosts editorialize the news and give their unwanted commentaries on minor events as they seek to destroy what could have been positive mornings to wake up to.

I'd like a morning show for a chnage that would give - within reach of a wide range of viewers - a feel of what a more positive, balanced, organized life can be without being too Today Show/Lifestyle-y/Un-Filipino about it. I dunno if it can be done, but I'd like to see that morning show where hosts dress well, host well, speak well and basically come prepared...just like their viewers.

A morning show that sets you off right each morning that it becomes a HEALTHY habit. It doesn't tell you the current trends & practices, instead it keeps Filipino viewers ahead of everyone in the region. The hosts are accessible in that they can dish out showbiz news without being dishy, and afterwards still deliver views on topics ranging from parenting to wellness to baking to office politics. It doesn't hardsell the ideas of balance, organization, fitness, wellness, etc, kasi we all know that we cannot perform budgeting, taming your in-laws and baking a buko pie all in one sitting, di ba?
But the message is there, it simply imparts a can-do mindset kahit na nagpapatayan na sila sa konggreso. Kasi if we all get dragged into the national mess without first looking deep within ourselves to create our little wonders, then talo ang lahat.

We were planning on this format/concept/treatment for a morning show on another tv station kaya lang higher forces intervened to choose safer options.

And that is the story of our collective lives ...

Pwede kaya iyon na mabubuo ang umaga ng Pinoy tv viewer

5/21/2005 2:36 AM
borgy187 said...
I think the main problem on Philippine TV right now is that the networks are dying to get the #1 slot... (read: ratings!). It's kinda ironic because TV won't survive without advertisers, and advertisers won't survive without the Pinoy viewers. So in short, tayong mga manonood ang dapat gumawa ng aksyon.

This is beyond the ongoing Kapuso vs. Kapamilya war.

If the show sucks, just don't watch it. It doesn't--or should i say--shouldn't matter if it's from 7 or 2 or even channel 4.

Although we have to admit that we have our own personal biases for our beloved network, it's a good thing that we air our sentiments. :)

For example, I am a certified Kapuso since I was a kid no doubt about that, but now I don't like their show "Sis", because it had become a carnival TV.

My point is, WE have to be critical and objective when it comes to watching TV.

Anyway, miss ko na `yung one-hour per week ang mga shows...dapat kasi matanggal na talaga sa ating mga pinoy ang "Soap Mentality" na `yan eh...

5/21/2005 9:38 PM
South Rock said...
Please just fix the author block on the side so everyone can see that innocentyears wrote this (good) article and not me. :)

5/22/2005 12:36 PM
Splash said...
That is automatically done. innocentyears must not leave blank his display name so the code will work properly.

That's my guess at least. :)

5/22/2005 12:53 PM
binang said...
i guess we must not stick to foreign formats...but i think the 'different show per day' is better...to develop talents, to gain export quality and to make tv realistic...TV is not a habit, it's a lifestyle...like, you don't read books only at 7pm to 7:30pm...it's d viewer's choice...or switch to cable, which i'm doing ryt now...

6/04/2005 1:36 AM
etxetera said...
This post has been removed by the author.

6/20/2005 3:34 PM
etxetera said...
I miss those days wherein one can watch sitcoms at an earlier timeslot and variety of shows are offered every night... but I don't think that would ever happen again since soaps are here to stay and as long as the 2 largest tv network will keep on fighting in the No.1 position...

6/20/2005 3:38 PM
varga29 said...
GOING BACK

Let us look back on innocentyears' original posting...

Low Attention Span of the Filipino Audience:

Perhaps there are studies into this widely-known phenom on the Filipino media psyche...or there aren't. Nonetheless, the problem is with the networks - as originally argued - for assuming and asserting that Filipinos deserve a Telenovela/Teleseyre format for tv entertainment.

Has The Telenovela Format Destroyed the Once-A-Week Format?

Or 'has the teleserye format weakened the writing and content of our television programs'. Yes. It unwittingly reflects our 'fear' for creating excellent & intelligent entertainment. In layman's words, TV found it's easy way out.

Perhaps our "short-attention span" will also wean us away very, very soon from this habit.

6/24/2005 1:54 PM
varga29 said...
THE TELENOVELA OF OUR LIVES

It seems like we are witnessing our telenovela alter egos/stereotypes realized in our daily political lives.

Unless our TV viewers can still manage to differentiate the telenovela from actual day-to-day happenings, the presscon of a former candidate's widow will have a devastating effect on Philippine mass movements. All the decided elements of a successful telenovela are fulfilled in recent settings, characters and events. A grieving widow. An injustice. A mass following. A powerful voice. A disgraced figure. A family's downfall. Anger, tears, pity, indignance. A young boy with budding beliefs. A charismatic figure. All the required elements, except for the one which is most fundamental in reality -- real time. The most elemental of all ingredients, emotions & injustices aside, may just have been conveniently 'tele-novelized' (and thus made irrelevant). Conveniently undermining the weight of history and all relevant political realities, the widow may still be viewing the world through a pixelized screen.

Mass movements rely much on charismatic figures and their every pronouncement. The widow may have wisely used every opportunity to guide her flock with clearer counsel & direction, instead of appealing only to their base emotions. Instead of personalizing the pain of accepting the chief’s apology, she may have raised the experience to one of noble temperance and active contemplation of the country’s future. But like the telenovela, don’t we just wish our lives moved forward faster and with greater direction? Again, the main character in this telenovela grieves and dwells until she is browbeaten to culminate in a tumultuous crescendo. Thus leaving the yoked masses with nothing but empty, hollow anger.

So what will happen next once the telenovela ends and reality sets in . . .
Let’s wait till the director comes back from his vacation.

6/30/2005 11:17 AM
matthew76_ph said...
ey, i think ur all missing the point.

first, telenovela format is not the prob. i've been doing research on this tagal na e.

analyze muna natin why the bulk of the audience likes soap operas:

1) audience can identify with the chars. if it's a melodrama..nakaka-identify ang masa sa bidang inaapi. why? e api din ang masang pinoy e (natanggal sa trabaho, napilitang magnakaw, mag prosti, nakulong. ang totoong buhay ng masa-- parang soap).

the diff is: ang bidang inaapi sa soap...paaapi muna sa simula then lalaban sa dulo. yun ang inaabangan. yung paglaban. why? kasi in real life, ang masang pinoy, di niya kayang lumaban (inaapi na siya ng amo niya..liit sweldo etc.. pero di siya makaimik. di makalaban. takot siya mawalan ng work e. so tiis na lang siya). so lahat ng galit niya..lahat ng sama ng loob niya...pag uwi niya sa bahay..iiyak niya while watching soap. soap ang excuse para umiyak.
para maisip niya na may mga taong mas api sa kanya.

the abc audience and those so called "educated" kuno na audience.. di nila maintindihan why click sa masa ang soap e. they looked down on the masa audience. talagang di nila maiintindihan (sarap buhay nila e. me choice sila e. me decent life sila kaya ludicrous sa kanila ang fantastic na pangyayari sa soap e/g. nasunog na nabuhay pa etc etc) kaya tingin nila bobo ang masa. tsk. tsk. hindi ito usapin ng taste or intelligence. mas malalim ang dahilan.

2. cultural. most pinoy's naghahanap ng hero figure e. kahit saang aspeto ha. political, personal, etc. gusto natin me "idol" tayo who will inspire us, who will fight for us. soaps has this formula of "bida" na against all odds e. a "bida" who is very moral, me good virtues, etc. kasi in real life, wala nun e. our leaders our corrupt, etc. parang ang soap..me psychiatric effect e. hahaha. tanggalin mo iyan, baka marami ang mabaliw.

====

funny thing is, more and more people are watching soaps now.

dati, soaps are considered pang female lang. now, males are also watching soaps na.

mula noon, hanggang ngayon, soap opera is the most misunderstood format or genre. why? though it is the most popular...it is also the most hated genre. macho remarks such as "pang babae lang ang soap" to the very snobbish comment such as "pang bobo" lang ang soaps... yan yung binabatikos sa kanya.

if you think that way.. then i think ur all missing the point.

tandaan: soap opera is most popular sa mga bansa na mahirap.

they say it is an "escapist" format. but for me, i see it as pang "catharsis" ng mga tao.

pinoy pa? ika nga ni rizal, tumatawa tayo para wag tayong umiyak.

sa soap, me excuse tayong umiyak para hindi malaman ng lahat na ang totoong iniiyakan mo ay ang sarili mo. iyan ang reason kaya daming masanag nanonood nito.

that's just my take on this whole thing.

--

7/09/2005 3:03 PM
Splash said...
Lumalalim..

Ako gusto ko rin na may primetime show na hindi Monday to Friday. Nakakapagod eh.

Enca, walang masyadong iyak-iyak, pero pinapanood.

While TV is stuck in its own limitations, pwede pa rin namang lampasan yan, eh. Pakonti-konti. Gaya nga ng sabi mo matthew, grade 1, grade 2.. :)

7/09/2005 3:19 PM
innocentyears said...
In reaction to matthew's... My best friend for life.

E di kung ganun din lang naman, itigil na natin itong 'Kapuso Proactive' na ito. Let's just accept the fact that we can't develop the viewing of the so-called 'masa'. Let's just stop this nonsense of thinking about how to improve the television experience and just accept all of this. Yes?

Ang hirap kasi, without going through the explanation of how our culture is damaged beyond repair brouhaha, is that the producers think that the 'masa' will stay 'masa' forever.

I can sense somehow that the producers think that "if it works, don't change it". Although there's nothing wrong with this belief, I think it does not leave enough room for improvement. Diba? What varga was saying is that the telenovela format is done quickly in order to cope up with the daily schedule; and, in the process, good narrative and dialogue is sacrificed. Dahil nga sa bilis, di na sila nakakapag-isip ng mabuti.

just a reminder, the object of this blog is how to improve the TV viewing experience, and that's what we're doing.

audience can identify with the chars. if it's a melodrama..nakaka-identify ang masa sa bidang inaapi. why? e api din ang masang pinoy e (natanggal sa trabaho, napilitang magnakaw, mag prosti, nakulong. ang totoong buhay ng masa-- parang soap).

your research is well recieved, though alam na natin lahat ito na the biggest audience share belong to the CD ek-ek audience. What they want to watch on TV is that how other people are more miserable than them...

kasi in real life, ang masang pinoy, di niya kayang lumaban (inaapi na siya ng amo niya..liit sweldo etc.. pero di siya makaimik. di makalaban. takot siya mawalan ng work e. so tiis na lang siya). so lahat ng galit niya..lahat ng sama ng loob niya...pag uwi niya sa bahay..iiyak niya while watching soap. soap ang excuse para umiyak.
para maisip niya na may mga taong mas api sa kanya.

the above comment by you... Isn't this a bit negative for someone like you who's defending present TV? Ako naman, i'm defending these same people that you think are weak. I beg to disagree. With the proper knowledge, they can think of a way to better their lives. TV can do that. And while TV in its present state is not intelligent, how can we use it as a powerful tool to better the lives of people?

Ang hirap kasi sa TV ngayon, puro ratings! ratings! Commercials! Pera! Diba? Once again, education and development is sacrificed.

the abc audience and those so called "educated" kuno na audience.. di nila maintindihan why click sa masa ang soap e. they looked down on the masa audience. talagang di nila maiintindihan (sarap buhay nila e. me choice sila e. me decent life sila kaya ludicrous sa kanila ang fantastic na pangyayari sa soap e/g. nasunog na nabuhay pa etc etc) kaya tingin nila bobo ang masa. tsk. tsk. hindi ito usapin ng taste or intelligence. mas malalim ang dahilan.

And what is the deeper reason, may I ask? We in here believe that by sharing ideas such as these can help develop Philippine TV viewing... I believe that TV can be used as a powerful tool not just to entertain, but to educate people. Unfortunately, majority of the shows are just not at par with this kind of enlightenment.

Oh, and those same people you call "mayayamang ignorante na tingin nila bobo ang masa" are the same people who create these TV shows.

cultural. most pinoy's naghahanap ng hero figure e. kahit saang aspeto ha. political, personal, etc. gusto natin me "idol" tayo who will inspire us, who will fight for us. soaps has this formula of "bida" na against all odds e. a "bida" who is very moral, me good virtues, etc. kasi in real life, wala nun e. our leaders our corrupt, etc. parang ang soap..me psychiatric effect e. hahaha. tanggalin mo iyan, baka marami ang mabaliw.

Hmmm... interesting belief. Do you think that many people are now dependent to the point of hypnotized by these shows, if the networks remove them the audiences will go psycho? This TV problem is a lot deeper than I thought.

I think the masa male watches soap opera because he does not have a choice. Nasan na yung mga cop shows? Yung Calvento Files?

mula noon, hanggang ngayon, soap opera is the most misunderstood format or genre. why? though it is the most popular...it is also the most hated genre. macho remarks such as "pang babae lang ang soap" to the very snobbish comment such as "pang bobo" lang ang soaps... yan yung binabatikos sa kanya.

I don't think it's misunderstood. Otherwise, this soap opera thing couldn't have gone on this long. In the simplest explanation, I agree with Varga, that this format is just too speedily done, the good storyline and meaningful dialogue is sacrificed.

We didn't miss your point. We just think there's a better alternative to your soap opera.

tandaan: soap opera is most popular sa mga bansa na mahirap.

"Mahirap lang ako. Palibhasa mahirap lang ako." Battlecry of the loser. Dapat "Kaya ko ito! Kaya natin ito!" wouldn't you agree?

sa soap, me excuse tayong umiyak para hindi malaman ng lahat na ang totoong iniiyakan mo ay ang sarili mo. iyan ang reason kaya daming masanag nanonood nito.

Deep! Wouldn't you agree that it's time to change this?

that's just my take on this whole thing.

And, well said. Once again you've proven yourself to be a worthy adversary!

7/10/2005 4:17 PM
matthew76_ph said...
ayayayay. pls dont put words into my mouth.

i am for the improvement of phil tv. what i hate lang is when we play "messiah". when we put ourselves as the saviour. yung para bang - ay wawa naman ang masa...gawin natin silang matalino etc etc.

i hate it din when some people gives this attitute na "oh i don't watch soaps coz it's too masa, it's so bobo etc etc"

(as ive said nga, soap opera is the most maligned genre - anti female and anti lower class ang mga critics abt soap e. samantalang it is the most popular.. and i bet the people who are making bira sa soap are the very people who don't understand anything about soap except sa "biased" opinion nila na ito ay pang-bobo).

for me, this so called "saviors" are the real bobo. kasi hindi niya maintindihan WHY THE MASA LIKES SOAP.

i didnt says let's stick with the present formula. ang sinabi ko ay pagpapaliwanag lang Why the masa likes soap opera.

ika nga, bago mo baguhin ang isang mundo..kailangan maintindihan mo muna ito.

i also don't like how some people view the soap opera's. ako i always believed that soap opera is the most powerul medium... why? kasi it so popular with the masses.
hence, we must understand whyyyy muna. before we say oh let's change it.

iba ang pananaw sa soap ng isang taong nakapag-aral, may decent life at may choices sa buhay (hindi siya makaka-identify sa bidang api kasi me pera siya--hindi siya magpapa-api. pero ang taong walang pera..like 60 percent ng tao sa pinas..napaka-vulnerable nito). iba ang rin pananaw ng masa. love niya ang soap. pero yung me choices sa buhay, hate niya ang soap.

again, di ko sinabi na wag nating baguhin. ang gusto ko lang iparating..bago nyo
baguhin..kilalanin nyo muna ng husto.

but, do u really think mawawala ang soap? no. hindi siya mawawala hangga't me mahirap.

gusto nyong mawala ang soap? hindi introduction ng new genre ang sagot. ang sagot... tanggalin mo ang dahilan ng kahirapan.

gawin nyong mayaman ang
pinas..bigyan nyo ng tsansa ang mahihirap for a decent life...bigyan nyo siya ng choices sa buhay..e-elevate ang knyang lot...

aba tignan natin kung manood pa yan ng soap...kasi pag magbago na ang kanyang pamumuhay...hindi na rin siya maniniwala na may taong "api" hence di na siya makaka-relate sa soap.

that's just my opinion.

7/10/2005 8:37 PM
varga29 said...
GAMBLES ON THE FUTURE

Cheers to all bloggers! Hey, isn't it nice that we're all revived by this discussion. LOL. Anyways, all points of view are appreciated. We cannot ignore the passion & thought of several posts.

May I just share my five centavos worth of reflection . . .

First, the title of the post 'kicking away the telnovela format' may not actually have meant to 'kill the format'. It was more a result of viewing fatigue & format weariness. It was borne out of the redundant effect the application of the format had on TV programming. I believe the topic was posted to stimulate ideas for program development.

Second, the telenovela format has led program content to formulaic traps. The format effortlessly lends itself to hyper-reality that actually distorts values and creeds. It stretches daily life into a collection of artificial plots, schemes and scenarios. And this is beyond contest. This discussion on format was meant to be beyond any class, strata, or economic debate. To my understanding, the simple issue here is the mindtrap. I agree with most bloggers in their intended point, and that is any monolithic viewpoint on culture, lifestyle & convictions is likewise unhealthy. The format is simply a medium through which we creatively mold Filipino minds and lives into something which we envision is ‘better’ in terms of values and intended futures.

Lastly, the medium can obviously override its present condition. Kapuso Proactive justifiably persuades us to ‘Transform the Idiot Box’. So we can transcend and weave through several issues presently inundating or stagnating television programming. Honestly, we cannot wait for the arrival of the overall solution to poverty, and for this to concurrently solve TV’s programming crisis. Matthew76_ph is likewise correct in affirming our belief that the telenovela format should stay. It should be reflective of Filipino lives, beliefs and realities. It should excel when compared to the Korea telenovela, for example. It should not impose limitations on what the Filipino can be. It should also help us collectively move forward to the next stage – whatever form it will take – with much less abrasion and much more consistency.

7/11/2005 10:29 AM
innocentyears said...
Amen.

In a nutshell, the soap opera genre is just too limiting. Yes, it may be too popular, but what we want to see such as universal themes, epic sequences, and deep storylines are sacrificed.

Imagine, comparing the 'one hour a week' format to 'thirty minutes daily' format: the soap opera thing is equivalent to TWO HOURS AND THIRTY MINUTES a week of tape. That means longer hours of shoot, longer hours of pre-production, make up, and longer hours of writing. Right? Comparing it to the ONE HOUR a week of tape which transforms to shorter pre-production, writing, etc. Which means that there will be a lot more time for thinking about better ideas before production.

Nakakapanghinayang lang kasi, diba? It could've been a lot better, pulling not only the 'masa' audiences but also the AB audiences. Sayang talaga.

And I didn't put words in your mouth, man. You did that yourself.

Cheers!

7/11/2005 11:07 AM
matthew76_ph said...
I beg to disagree.

u said: the soap opera genre is just too limiting. Yes, it may be too popular, but what we want to see such as universal themes, epic sequences, and deep storylines are sacrificed.

sa tingin ko lang naman yung pagtingin mo sa soap ang limiting. hindi yung soap. napaka-dynamic at expansive ng soap. in fact, pwede kang maglaro. lahat itong universal themes, epic sequences and deep storylines ay DAPAT o PWEDE ngang ipasok sa soap.

u said: Nakakapanghinayang lang kasi, diba? It could've been a lot better, pulling not only the 'masa' audiences but also the AB audiences. Sayang talaga.

my opinion: hehe to be honest, i have no faith in the majority of the ab market (but some do watch ha). most of them hate anything pinoy. kapag magka-gyera dito..they'll be the first one to leave.

i like the cd (middle class) crowd. they like to experiment with their viewing habits e. they have more to lose hence they'll react agad (re:political, o kahit sa pinapanood). these are the people who likes changes.

the e crowd...this is the masa crowd. madali silang i-please.
but that doesnt mean hindi sila open sa changes.

para sa akin..nevermind the ab crowd (kahit anong gawin mo walang effect. they have to much money and so many places to go to kesa manood ng tv at pinoy tv pa)

the cde market are the real viewers. tap them..get their interest and you'll be tapping more than 85% of our population. so why bother with the 15? when you can have the 85?
kapag nasa iyo na ang 85..hehe the 15 will pay attn. wanna bet?

7/12/2005 1:15 PM
innocentyears said...
sa tingin ko lang naman yung pagtingin mo sa soap ang limiting. hindi yung soap. napaka-dynamic at expansive ng soap. in fact, pwede kang maglaro. lahat itong universal themes, epic sequences and deep storylines ay DAPAT o PWEDE ngang ipasok sa soap.

Hmmm... Ok. So, kung pwede na ipasok yung mga universal themes, epic sequences, at deep storylines, where is it? Give me one that will stick forever in the minds of people, one that will create a big fanbase inspiring artisans and creators, then I will agree with you.

I see soap opera as limiting because IT IS LIMITING. So where is it?

para sa akin..nevermind the ab crowd (kahit anong gawin mo walang effect. they have to much money and so many places to go to kesa manood ng tv at pinoy tv pa)

O! Now that's what I call stereotyping. You assume that these people do not watch TV because they have too much money to burn. I beg to disagree. They do not watch TV because they do not have a choice; not with all the garbage on TV now. I don't believe that these people (who you loathe too much as I have read in your posts) are really this ignorant. Unless you've got proof, of course.

And like I've said, these same people are the ones who create these soap opera shows that you love so much.

the cde market are the real viewers. tap them..get their interest and you'll be tapping more than 85% of our population. so why bother with the 15? when you can have the 85?
kapag nasa iyo na ang 85..hehe the 15 will pay attn. wanna bet?

I can't. I'm just a poor and hungry writer with no money to bet. And like how youve stereotyped the 15, I would guess they will be too 'arrogant' to really care about your 85.

And I don't fight for the 15 or the 85 alone; I try to fight for all viewers in the Philippines.

And I'm interested in this little 'study' of yours. Do you have a link to a site somewhere?

7/13/2005 2:28 PM

Halloween Television Pinoy Style

2006-10-30T15:12:00.000+08:00

Photo Courtesy of geekus.org

As I write this article, I am currently watching GMA’s Halloween episode of SIS, that quirky talk-cum-variety show that grins its way on brunch; last night I was also able to catch some more celebrity talk shows observing their Halloween specials with interviews from ham actors and actresses with supposed “third eyes”, singers and dancers talking about creepy dreams that come true, hosts and hostesses going on “spirit quests”, and so on.The said talk shows invite these movie and telly celebrities all of them describing some sort of a personal supernatural story; how they saw a headless lady floating in the air, how a lost spirit of a dead child cried to them for help every night, or how they were possessed by that elemental spirit who fell in love with them. Jeez.

And the madness does not stop there; believe it or not, the nightly newscast--our last foundation of truth--also carried some sort of a ghost story, may it be an apparition in a picture (even if it is obviously a double exposure, some professional photographers do this deliberately), or some spirit caught on film; all play around on the ignorant minds of Filipino viewers nationwide.

As I watch the clueless female hosts go on their so-called “Cemetery Tour” wherein they apparently walk aqround in a public cemetery hoping to come in contact with “spirits” of the dead, I cannot help but laugh, scoff, and ridicule at these TV shows which glorify such silliness and inanity. Now, does anybody ever wonder why the Filipino mindset is still trapped in the dark ages? All the while I thought that witch hunts were exclusively 16th century just as believing in ghosts were a fad in the 19th and early 20th century. I thought that interest in the supernatural came and went like puberty; a stage of curiosity in the life of a child. I remeber I became interested in ghosts when I was in third grade; my classmates and I bravely stalked kindergarten classrooms after hours with a flashlight in hand. When I reached High School, I became quite sure that ghosts, spirits, vampires, and such were made up by parents to scare their naughty children into submission.

And that was it. I grew up and left my beliefs in spirits and monsters within the forgotten pages of my childhood. I wonder though, why many of them celebrities never outgrew them. The pursuit of high ratings can be the only reason for this, and we all know the networks’ willingness to lower the aptitude level of audiences everywhere for the sake of it; to Hell with social responsibilty. This goes to show that the Filipino logic never really reached maturity at all.

Isn’t it finally time to leave the darkness of the Middle Ages? When can we finally put to rest those poor ‘souls’ of the dead that we use for the sake of high ratings and profit? If some people find these ghosts and monsters fascinatingly real, I sure do hope that there are more people who find it all insultingly painful to their intelligence.

Let us all hope that these spirits remain unreal. If by chance all the mumbo-jumbo these TV shows play around with were true, I pray to your holy high heavens guy up there that they do not seek revenge on all of those who used them for profit.

Review of "Now & Forever presents Dangal": Purely sadistic

2006-10-17T14:35:00.000+08:00

Photo courtesy of INQ7.net

Ignorance makes their world go 'round, and this much is true in GMA's new old-school season of Now & Forever with an episode entitled "Dangal" which means "Honor" when loosely translated. Since N&F's single word titles are a practical giveaway on what the show is about, one can expect that "Dangal" would be something about taking away one's honor and getting it back again.

The story is almost identical to all the other soap operas that came before it; except that it's a riches-to-rags-to-riches story where the snatching of honor comes. Alta (played by Jennylyn Mercado) is a nice girl born to a well-to-do family, but as we all expect, greed and revenge takes over courtesy of the villains. The enemies sadistically manipulate and destroy the life of our poor, helpless Alta to the point of confusion and madness, all because she had no idea whatsoever about the shadowy underworld that creeps the land; yes, it's the heroine's ignorance that did her in.

This soap is a particular waste on the talents of dramatic greats Cherie Gil (who plays yet another demoniacal antagonist) and Matt Ranillo III (who's character gets killed on the second week; thank God). Dangal's story quality seemed as if it was a big excuse to employ the services of those who are from 'the other network', probably just to show off that their enemy is jumping ship; the storyline is chock-full of soap opera clichés, one cannot help but slap forehead.

"Dangal", by the looks of it, will have a very hard time catching up with it's more subtle predecessor "Linlang" simply because writers are assigned to this particular soap opera are too lazy to think of original concepts. The producers gets equal blame for green-lighting such a clichéd, unoriginal, and sadistic soap opera.

Learn to write the ultimate Pinoy soap opera!

2006-10-02T12:15:00.000+08:00

This is it, writer wannabes! Do you want to break into the soap opera scene in the Philippines? It’s true: the soap opera is the way to go break into show-business today. It is full of clichés, bad acting and dialogue, and is effective in giving headaches, but still. Soap opera writers follow a strict list of guidelines in their stories, and only the themes change may it be a real world or magical setting; however, the following steps remain the same. Here are the most important elements that should be in your soap opera story:

1. Weak heroine – a Pinoy soap trademark would be the weak heroine, and that means having your heroine experience the most traumatic life possible: have her parents die of an accident, have her work for a wicked matriarch of a rich family. Having her cry all the time and crawling on all fours is a plus. One might think that all of the tragedies in her life she was able to establish a strong personality, but this is not the case in a soap. Nowadays, writers tend to put in some sort of courageous elements to the female lead, like a driving desire to follow a dream; however, the fragile and pathetic element of the leading lady will always be there. Always remember that reality is not significant.
2. Evil twin sibling – No matter what the reason is, may it be that the writer may have run out of ideas for a plot twist or the producers of the show wanted to overexpose their lead star, no plot device is as handy as an evil twin sister/brother coming out of nowhere to make things more complicated. It also does not matter where the evil twin came from, may he/she be a legitimate sibling or just some nameless character that underwent a surgery; by entering the new antagonist into the fray, you open up new possibilities for the characters.
3. Romeo & Juliet plotline – Yes, it’s not a Pinoy soap if the respective families of the star-crossed lovers are not quarreling; and also, consider a class struggle by making one family poor and the other extremely rich. Parents also do not matter; the teenage lovers should disrespect them and always oppose their mom and dad’s hopes and dreams for them. The lovers should always glorify juvenile delinquency. Have the lovers run away from home and try to live life on their own; they will botch it up eventually, and have second thoughts on whether or not they made the right decision. The rest of us intelligent viewers know that they are both morons from the start, but it does not matter; this is an important rule of writing a Filipino soap opera, so grin and bear it.
4. Cherie Gil archetype antagonist – Yup, Cherie Gil’s Lavinia character from the movie (not the sucky soap opera) “Bituing Walang Ningning” is the prototype for the vilest, meanest, and baddest enemy of them all; and now, this antagonist archetype has evolved from a selfish baddass who wanted everything, to some matron from Hell who’s just there to make things hard for the weak heroine. She’s been portrayed by every soap opera enemy known, and it does not matter where she came from, what her driving force is, or whether she’s a realistic character or not, just make her a murderous, chain-smoking, Machiavellian adulterer and that’s the key.
5. Baby switching – Ever since the soap opera Mara Clara began using baby switching as a handy tool for a plot twist, it has been used by almost every other soap opera to ever come out of the small screen. Useful most especially if the two babies switched lives, growing up and discovering that the lives they are living were not meant for them. While chaos ensues, watch your characters fight and scheme their way out of the measly lives you’ve set up for them. This may also be used in conjunction with Evil Twin Sibling.
6. Clueless leading man – It’s enough that the leading man is a brooding, rebel-type model who does not have acting skills; just show him in a pensive mood all the time, and have him keep on asking questions. Usually, the leading man is the one guy who gets informed last.
7. Everybody loves her – Believe it or not, all of the hunky, brainless, model-type men who’s somebody in the show is almost always in love with the poor heroine. This girl who washes dishes, cleans the floors, and forced to eat pig feces by her evil stepmother and stepsisters still manages to exude oozing sex appeal. The handsome pool cleaner, the matron’s goon leader, the clueless leading man, the boy best friend, and everybody else that’s testosterone-dripping on the show should be in love with the lady; it makes for great men brawls.
8. Rags-to-riches – As the story goes along, some lawyer (cast some unknown in this role; balot or taho vendor with a commanding voice but no acting abilities whatsoever) appears in the villa to shake things up a bit. Guess what? He informs everyone that our inferior heroine is the lost daughter of a dying magnate, and due to some unfortunate event like baby-switching (a-ha!), his beloved daughter was lost to her. However now that he is dying, he wishes to transfer everything worth a $hit to his long lost daughter. This plot-twist is particularly useful especially if the show is going nowhere and the ratings are crashing.
9. Revenge and scheming – In past soaps, the scheming was limited to the evil characters. Now, everybody is doing it; the antagonist for greed, and the protagonists usually for revenge. The former crying queen: our heroine who was once a dirty maidservant, eating garbage and crawling on the pigsty is now suddenly rich (due to her recent self-discovery as an heir to a generous fortune), powerful, and can command people to follow her whim. She will now use all of her authority to seek vengeance to those who did her wrong when she was but a wee maidservant—and all that crap.
10. Amnesia! – The amnesia plot twist is so darn convenient it can be inserted on anytime to any character in a soap opera. Anytime a character gets too complicated and if suddenly the world rested upon his/her shoulders, device an accident in which he/she gets bumped on the head. Presto! The memories of the character gets wiped out and it will be easy to insert new characters and new story developments when the amnesia victim is out of the way.

And finally: do not forget to tie up all lose ends on the final two minutes of the final episode. That way, the audience will stick to the show until the final frame of your soap. This is how it was years ago, and this is how it is still. Write your own soap opera today!

Learn to act... NOW! (Male Edition)

2006-09-08T17:16:00.000+08:00

Aaaah... Nothing can take away the diehard fan from his/her favourite TV show. As soon as the watcher is set, he sits on his favourite couch, opens that familiar bag of chips and sits back and enjoys the opening sequence of the show.

But wait... As soon as the leading man steps into camera view, Oh, the horror! The dialogue is good, the storyline is fair; but that good-looking bloke in front of the camera is either reading his lines from an idiot board or he's an idiot acting like a board for all the world to see. Suddenly, what could have been a perfect way to end an evening viewing turned out to be a Mystery Science Theater 3K session, heckling your way through the show/movie; Not that it's not a good thing, but you swear to high Heavens that you would never let yourself be immersed in such a badly-acted program ever again. All thanks to that moron who can't act, even though he's been in front of the camera almost all his life.

I now present you a list of names of some actors (the females, we heckle next time!) who badly needs to attend a nazi boot camp acting workshop; you know, a real terrible place where the attendants' fingers get cut off if they fail an acting test. Here's the list:

1. Jericho Rosales - Oh God. How many years has this boy been in the business? He's not exactly monotone, but as far as I remember, a crying scene was supposed to give the impression that the actor was hurting and there was no other way he can express it; and by george, does he express! He expresses it all too much, he goes into this overacting cry-baby BS as though the world is ending right before his eyes.

2. Mark Herras - If Jericho is the christ of overacting, Mark is the god of no-acting. All of his facial expressions are basically the same: thick eyebrows down, eyes squinting, and lips semi-pouting. Just add a few rolling tears for additional dramatic effect.

3. Richard Gutierrez - Captain Barbell himself Richard Gutierrez caught his father's dashing good looks, but never his character actor genes. Why does it seem that Richard Gutierrez looks so cute all the time as though he is always trying to make the ladies swoon? It may look good for them, but certainly not good for us real men. Also, if you're already good looking, there's no need for you to pose cute.

4. Jeremy Marquez - We're cutting him a bit of slack because he has not been in the business long enough; but please, at least try to win the hearts of the viewers and not scowl on the screen all the time.

5. Dion Ignacio - Dion, do you know what your batchmate Tyrone Perez did? It's called courage, man. It's been a long time since you were always a step ahead of him; and now his new movie has not come out yet and everybody's talking about him. If nothing is happening with your acting career, it means that you're on the wrong track.

6. Jordan Herrera - jordan is another kid who poses too much for the camera. Aside from the terrible acting, he looks and dresses as though he's ready to make the next little old lady happy for money; giggolo style.

7. Bernard Palanca - Truly a shame on his family name. A guy who came from a family of classic actors and actresses, Bernard seemed to have been left out when the acting genes of his family decided to distribute among its members. Full tatoos and slurry dialogue style, Bernard must think he's a Mickey Rourke.

8. Rainier Castillo - He's still young and has a lot more to learn, I'll give him that; but have you ever wondered why his parent network never gave him that much projects? Killer smile, check. Funny but cute dance moves, check. Acting abilities? One big, fat zero. Rainier never cries on camera; the scene begins with tears in his eyes, and that probably meant that he squeezed eye drops into his eyes before the director even yelled "action!" to give himself that artificial crying effect.

9. Oyo Boy Sotto - There's something about these monotone guys that we love to hate. Oyo Boy uses the age old acting style that all the great ones use; but that's not a compliment. Oyo Boy, in his most pensive and emotional moods, acts as though he aged watching drama actors of the 80's: outdated and boring. His dialogue style and facial expressions are also monotone. At least we found his acting to be a cure for insomnia.

10. Vhong Navarro - Ok, he's a comedian, but even that, he cannot do properly. Because of his penchant for imitating Jim Carrey, he became exactly that: a poor comedian imitating Jim Carrey. Suggestion, dawg: get your own style. Even Carrey's washed up already.

And the list goes on and on. There are a lot more, and I'm sure you have your own ideas of horrible acting. Make your own list and we'll see.

Review of "A Date With Jao Mapa": There is a light that never goes out

2006-08-25T17:58:00.000+08:00

Photo Courtesy of azntv.com

For many, many years, the usual Filipino comedy consists of a streetwise hero,a bumbling sidekick, lots of slapstick, and a production number on a Batangas beach at the end. For decades, audiences were forced to swallow this animal crap in the name of profit. For many years it was this way; hundreds and hundreds of cliché comedy movies, all of them the same; talk about clockwork orange torture. Now, if there ever was a choice between 10 full length movies by any Filipino director and the dark comedy "A date with Jao Mapa" to take with me on a deserted island, I will choose the latter short film by maverick director Quark Henares; at least Henares delivers a fresh new vision unseen in any other old Filipino comedy movie before.

The story of "A Date" may be old by Hollywood standards, but it is high time that Filipinos come up with their own version; it stars Jao Mapa and Marnie Arcilla who play the two leads, taking the audience into a wild indie caterpillar ride of life, love, and obsession. The visuals and mediums used to tell the short story are relatively new to Filipino comedy and create interest. Marnie Arcilla glitters on screen, proving that she still has certain charm even after that cheesy kids show AngTV. The dialogue is quirky though but daring and Director Quark proves his richly streetwise vision through this film, which is courageous and never afraid to turn the story around.

"A Date With Jao Mapa" may be mediocre by well-known Hollywood standards, but in the Philippines it does not only stand on it's own but soars over all the stupid clichéd comedy musicals the country has been producing all these years. The hope of intelligence in this movie is truly a light that will never go off; it will always convey the message that not all comedies are beach-singing at the end of it.

Review of "Now & Forever: Linlang": Best of the lot but still soap operatic

2006-08-23T17:03:00.000+08:00

Photo Courtesy of filipinoexpress.com
First, the good: Nothing is what it seems.

The latest season of "Now & Forever" proves this saying true as the writers of this story cleverly applies the element of deception to effectiveness. "Linlang" stars Diana Zubiri, Polo Ravales, Chynna Ortaleza, and a cast of others who, in my opinion, are giving the best performances of their lives so far in their career. The exception to this is Ms. Lorna Tolentino who was not given a chance to shine because of the short role she was given, and Alessandra de Rossi who is clearly overacting her angry scenes.

A supernatural-inspired story theme kicks off as the rest of the story is kept interesting because of the hidden roles and interests of the characters as instances weave their stories together. Surprisingly, each character has a valid driving force; unlike in other shows wherein the characters whose interests seemed to have spurted out of nowhere.

Now, the bad news, folks: COnsidering all good things, this is still soap opera. Yes, the scheming villains are all here, the cliché Soap Opera movements are here, and the story are still mostly clichés woven together. The storytelling talents of the writers are wasted on an afternoon soap. Now, only if they can employ their clever twist-techniques to all their shows...

Review of "I Luv NY": Leave the Mark/Jennylyn story arc entirely on the cutting room floor

2006-08-11T14:43:00.000+08:00

Photo Courtesy of Philstar.com

Another TV program gets a hit-and-miss treatment in the soap opera "I Luv NY", a supposed-to-be bubbly soap opera destroyed by executive interests. ILNY is a feel-good love story about Filipino couples and their trials on the other side of the world; particularly New York City. There are two story arcs: the Marvin Agustin-Jolina Magdangal story for older audiences and the Mark Herras-Jennylyn Mercado story for the teenybopper audience; unfortunately, the two stories are very different and gives opposing effects on the whole show.

The Marvin-Jolina love story mainly focused on the two leads' enjoyable changes and exchanges in the city that never sleeps. Jolina's innocence and playfulness worked well with Marvin's serious character-type and most of the time almost pleasurable to watch. Enter the colorful characters played by Isabel Oli (who, admittedly, develops a better acting performance than in her previous work), Arnel Ignacio (who mimics a Cherie Gil-type antagonist to effective perfection), and others for more crazy plot turns.

Regrettably, the worst part of the whole series is the story that focused on Mark and Jennylyn. The story was ultimately uninteresting from the beginning, and the cement-block acting of Mark and the false drama of Jennylyn just made their screen time even worse. The entrance of unseasoned support characters (with the exception of Carmi Martin and Tirso Cruz III ) does no improvement. This devolution, this giant step backwards can be traced to network executives' financial interests; what should have ended early with a perfect ending story was extended (reminiscent of the "Encantadia" brouhaha) because the show was a hit and raking in the money.

ILNY should have lined itself along Asian dramas such as "A Harvard Love Story", "Attic Cat", and "Lovers in Paris", if not for the terrible turn of the Mark/Jennylyn story arc. Cut off the stinky Mark-Jennylyn story out of the show and you have a perfect Asian drama right there.

Review of "Majika":Most shallow show on TV---congratulations

2006-08-04T11:09:00.000+08:00

Photo Courtesy of iGMA.tv

GMA is a multi-awarded station, and I have another title to add to their long list list: Most shallow show on Philippine TV. I always thought that nothing can sink lower than the titanic production of Mars Ravelo's "Darna" the soap opera, but I was proved wrong with the release of "Majika", the network's most seizure-inducing, second childhood-generating soap opera ever.

And just what is this "Majika" all about? It's about spell slinging lady magicians in skimpy and colorful costumes battling it out in a badly-dressed fantasy set. Obviously, it was created with children in mind and it stars "Darna" herself Angel Locsin with Dennis Trillo, supported by Katrina Halili, Eddie Garcia, Jean Garcia, and Carmina Villaroel among others.

I have serious reasons to call this one shallow; there are absolutely no redeeming factors to save this one from damnation. The costumes and set design are absolutely meaningless and are so colorful it might induce seizures; the story is stereotypically soap operatic that each moment is a passing of never-ending clichés of love and mistaken identity; the premise is obviously a ripoff of various Disney films and Harry Potter---the show might actually trigger retardation because of its dumbed-down plot line.

What makes the show pathetic is that in order to save their sinking ratings (the rival show is slowly creeping up on the ratings game), they made the ladies' costumes a lot shorter in order to show more skin and attract the older, hot-blooded male audience. However, even the combined forces of Ms. Halili's fantastic body and the supple skin of Ms. Locsin cannot save this disaster of a TV show.

And what do passengers do when the ship is sinking? Jump ship before it takes the whole network down with it.

Review of "Bituing Walang Ningning": Second rate, trying hard... you know the rest

2006-07-28T17:13:00.000+08:00

Photo Courtesy of titikpilipino.com

A highly-legendary quotation from a movie has never been so ironically uttered by someone so self-described. The soap opera "Bituing Walang Ningning" is exactly what "second rate, trying hard, copycat" meant and much more.

"Bituin" is the remake of the classic rags-to-riches movie of the same title starring Sharon Cuneta as the heroine and the incomparable Cherie Gil as the villain everybody loved. The TV incarnate's characters were ineffectively portrayed by Sarah Geronimo in the Sharon role and Angelika dela Cruz as an embarrassing and pitiful version of the Cherie Gil character. To make matters worse, the writers inserts tiring soap opera elements into the story to make it interesting, with disastrous results.

"Bituin" would have been a mediocre enough soap opera with its mediocre story and mediocre characters if it were not for Angelika dela Cruz' horrible impersonation of Lavinia. Angelika could have made the character her own if she inserted personal acting touches and originality to the role; however, she begins to emulate Cherie Gil's Lavinia, copying every batted eyelash and swagger that the classic character did. The result: a second-rate, trying-hard, Cherie Gil copycat.

ABS-CBN has successfully degraded themselves as the TV fad-makers to the eventual fad-followers as they erringly assumed that remaking classic Filipino movies into soap operas was the "in" thing to do. After the embarrassing turns of "Kampanerang Kuba" and "Panday", one might think that the producers, writers and directors have learned a valuable lesson. However, knowing the hard heads at the network, these lessons went into one ear but out the other.

Review of "Captain Barbell": Hit and miss

2006-07-24T08:43:00.000+08:00

Photo Courtesy of journal.com.ph

Rarely do I give positive reactions to prime time soaps nowadays, and one of those lucky TV programs that gets some sort of praise is "Captain Barbell", the latest superhero soap to hit GMA prime time after the highly-embarrassing "Darna" (whose creators spawned another moronic fantasy soap opera entitled "Majika", but that is another article).

Surprisingly, the lead character of Teng is effectively portrayed by Richard Gutierrez, the current network's prime time superstar. This is in contrast to his previous work in "Sugo" wherein he plays enigmatic but uninteresting characters.

CB is the creation of the Philippines' top comic book creator Mars Ravelo, the same guy who made "Darna" and "Dyesebel". Captain Barbell's original story was about Tengteng, the urban poor boy who transforms into a superhero to save the day. CB's soap TV reincarnation gets a highly science-fictionalized face-lift by inserting various Marvel and DC Comics story lines into the picture; and this is where the show goes horribly wrong.

Firstly, it was perfectly obvious that certain story elements were shamelessly copied from well-known comic book/movie stories such as Superman, Spider-man, and even the time-traveling elements of the "Terminator" movies. The reason for this is that the writers probably thought that the kids who watch the show might relate to the story better if they find some of the story elements familiar; however, to us adults we find this laughable.

As the story goes along, we find ourselves immersed into the trials and tribulations of Clark... Er, Teng, the boy who would eventually become the country's greatest superhero. However, later on, as if adjusting to amazing powers were not enough, fate (or the writers) decided to add the stereotypical soap opera antagonist in the person of Sunshine Dizon, the greedy and jealous relative.

Afterwards, we root for the hero again as the writers use the characterizations to effectiveness. The entrance of wildly fun villains such as Rufa Mae Quinto make the story delightful to watch. This writing creativity, in turn , is contradictory to CB past enemies in the show such as Bubog (who is the Filipino version of a villainous Wolverine) and Adobe (who is an obvious amalgam of Absorbing Man and Colossus) who were stereotypical and tiring.

All in all, CB is a hit and miss show; sometimes it is effective and entertaining, most times it is tedious and laughable. So far, it is still in its enjoyable phase; and I am keeping my expectations low that it will get better anytime soon.

Review of "Agawin Mo Man Ang Lahat": Get ready for an afternoon of depressing TV

2006-07-20T16:22:00.000+08:00

Photo Courtesy of Abante.com.ph

TAPE Inc, the makers of "Agawin Mo Man Ang Lahat" and "Saang Sulok Ng Langit" must have a penchant for ultra-depressing story lines. Although "Agawin" takes off a bit more than "Saang" wherein the heroes and heroines of the soap get their second wind early on by becoming stronger than the usual soap opera protagonists, the sadistic writers of the show make sure that the fighting heroes get double the pain and anguish.

"Agawin" has the same premise of all the Filipino soap operas that came before it: heroine lives normal life, gets messed up by ultra-evil antagonist because of money, heroine gets second wind and gets revenge. Rosanna Roces lookalike Marian Rivera stars as Almira, the heroine whose life gets messed up because of money, and Oyo Boy Sotto, the rising leading male as the boy. The rest of the cast includes Cheska Garcia, Matthew Mendoza, Wendell Ramos, and Mylene Dizon in the role of your stereotypical cold-blooded antagonist out to get everyone and anyone who stands for righteousness.

The story is formulaic enough for afternoon soaps, just throw in your usual good twin versus evil twin, dashing leading man, shadowy goons in eye-patches, the greedy antagonist, a juicy fight for some guy's riches, and you've got your afternoon soap right there. Of course, the show is creamed with TAPE Incoporated's trademark depressing circumstances.

I can bet that the next soap opera lined up by TAPE will be just as depressing as the others. Watch this, and make sure you keep the rope and poison far away from you.