Recycle Me

First week home...

2011-03-11T23:15:00.000-06:00

The first day or so home I was pretty depressed. I didn't say anything out loud, but inside I felt I had made a huge mistake. I kept wanting to wake up and find it had all been a bad dream.

I was in a lot of pain and walking wore me out. All I wanted to do was sleep. Luckily I wasn't having problems drinking, but the protein shakes were making me gag.

Brian was awesome! He took a week off and was so helpful. He even gives me my daily blood thinner shot in the hip. I am amazed as what a wonderful man he is. Kids were helpful too. Cody gave me lots of hugs and told me he loved me more times than probably the whole last year.

I was able to handle the chicken broth and sf jello. I wasn't hungry, except for head hunger. I have never noticed so many food commercials before!

On the 5th day I broke down crying. I was miserable. I was in pain and still thinking I had made a huge mistake.

Day 6 I felt better emotionally. Brian convinced me to go to the store with him. It helped to get out of the house.

The next day I had my appointment with the nurse practitioner. She said everything was healing as it should and all was normal. She gave me the go ahead to move on to the next stage in my diet. I can now have:
eggs (soft scrambled, soft boiled or poached in water)
cottage cheese
low fat shredded cheese
greek yougurt plain or vanilla with splenda
poached fish fillets
pinto beans mashed or purred.

Also I can now mix my protein shakes with lactaid milk or soy milk. That was a relief because mixing them with water was gagging me.

Brian and I stopped at the store on the way home and got some of my new food items! I fixed an egg (soft scrambled) when we got home and was able to tolerate it just fine.

This brings us to today...
Today I had another egg for breakfast. Had some pain and heartburn after it. Waited my 30 mins to drink and took a drink. As soon as I did it all came back up. I ended up with the whole egg coming back up. That made my stomach hurt A LOT!

Did dishes, straighten the house some and even took a walk around the block with the boys and dogs.

I am feeling much better today. I still have a lot of pain and my emotions still get to me, but I don't feel I make a huge mistake any more.

Day 2 and 3

2011-03-11T22:58:00.000-06:00

Didn't get much sleep and the dr. came in at 6 to check on me. Around 10 they took me down to do my swallow test. I was so thirsty that the nasty drink they gave me wasn't half bad. I passed the test and was able to have ice chips and water after that. They also removed my catheter and told me walk the halls as much as possible and to sit up in the chair not lay in the bed.

I had difficulty walking. I had to use a walker and couldn't stand up straight. My legs were also very very shakey.

They also had me use the breathing thing where you suck air to help me clear my lungs. They had me on O2 still also.

They were supposed to bring me something to eat at 3, but it was after 4 before they did. Dinner was sugar free jello and chicken broth.

I was supposed to go home that night, but when I did some more walking I started having trouble breathing again. They called the dr. and he kept me one more night.

The next day I did some more walking. I was in a lot of pain, but it was manageable. I was really tired. Around noon they released me. The ride home wasn't too terrible.

When I go home I had a surprise waiting. Brian had bought me a new recliner. My old one's frame was breaking and he was worried about me getting up and down in it.

It was good to be home, but I was so weak and tired.

I had surgery

2011-03-11T22:51:00.001-06:00

I had gastric bypass on March 3. I had planned on doing a daily update on here, but things didn't work out that way. There are several reasons. One I was too tired and in too much pain to sit at the computer. Two, it would have been a pity party post. Now that I am doing better I will go back and update.

I had to be at the hospital at 6:30 and my surgery was scheduled for 8:30. Brian wound up having to work until 2:45 am, so he was exhausted. We got to the hospital, I changed into my gown and they began hooking me up. I got an i.v., blood pressure cuff, O2 monitor, etc. They also put compression things on my leg that would inflate and deflate at various levels to keep blood flowing in my leg. About 8 they took me back to the OR. All I remember is looking up at the big lamp above me and the dr. talking to me about how to lay my head on a pillow he put behind my neck. He told me to point my chin up towards and the ceiling..... next thing I know I am being wheeled down the hallway to the recovery room. I was really confused. I didn't know where I was or what had happened. It was a strange feeling.

In the recovery room I was pretty much out of it. I would come around, they would ask me something and then I would go right back to sleep. At some point I did get to talk to Brian on the phone the nurse had.

Finally it was time to go to my room. Brian had left to go get Kris from school, so he wasn't there. As soon as I got to my room my dr. wanted me up out of bed and into the chair. That was a feat. I was so shaky and in pain. I managed to do it though. I sat in the chair and dozed while people came in and out to do vitals, blood, pain management, etc. Finally Brian and the boys got there. I had left my glasses with Cody and when Brian took them out of the backpack they were broken. That bummed me. I was already dizzy and not having my glassed didn't help. Luckily Brian was able to run to the store and get some super glue and fix them temporarily.

They stayed awhile and I went to bed. Some time during the night I woke up to a bunch a people in my room and they were on the phone to my doctor. Later I learned my O2 sat dropped into the low 80's and they were afraid I was in respiratory depression. They hooked me up to more monitors and to my CPAP machine with some O2 hooked in.

More in next post...

Great flavor!

2011-02-18T18:50:00.000-06:00

I found a protein shake I actually LOVE. It's by Unjury and called Chocolate Splendor. I just ordered a tub of it.

I am sending one of the Syntrax Nectar flavors back. Luckily where I ordered from allows you to send back opened protein. I ordered from it from Vitacost. I am sending Caribbean Cooler back.

I ordered some samples from Vitalady of some other flavors of Syntrax Nectar. I will let y'all know what flavors are good.

Day 2 of protein diet

2011-02-18T17:00:00.001-06:00

Well I am on day 2 of my protein pre op diet. Yesterday was pretty rough. I missed food so much and the protein shakes were not good. I finally mixed the protein shake powder with Crystal Light and that was better. I went with Syntrax Nectar for my protein shakes. I ordered Caribbean Cooler and Crystal Sky flavors. The Caribbean Cooler I haven't tried with Crystal Light yet, but I am drinking the other. I also ordered samples of Unjury Protein Powder. I tried the unflavored one this morning, and it wasn't good at all. I had to gag it down.

At first I was thinking it was protein shakes ONLY for the 2 week period, but I went back and re-read all my info and learned I can have veggies like lettuce, tomatoes, broccoli, okra, and spinach. I can also mix my protein powders with low fat milk, soy milk or plain or greek yogurt. So after going all day yesterday with NO food (only protein shakes) I went to the store today to get my veggies and yogurt. That was a tough experience. First off I was at the dr. from 9 am to 1 pm, then straight to Cody's school for a parent teacher conference, so I had only 2 protein shakes and a bottle of water. Everything was so tempting at Walmart. I wanted to quit my diet 100 times. They were even giving out samples. I stared straight ahead, heading to the veggie dept and got my good stuff. Came home and had a salad of romaine lettuce and tomatoes. Never knew a simple salad with no dressing could taste so good!!!

My dr. visit went well. To begin with I have lost 9 lbs since my last visit on Dec. 8. YEAH ME! I was nervous getting on that scale. First I met with the Nurse Practitioner and she went over the procedure with me again, and detailed out what my first few days/weeks will be like. She was very thorough and answered all the questions Brian and I had.

Then I went to financial office and filled out paperwork. Went down to lab and had some blood drawn then back up to meet with the surgeon.

Here is where my day got a little rough. It was 10:30 when we got to his office, but he had an emergency and was running late. We waited until almost 12:30 for him. I was worried because we needed to pick up Cody at 1:15. I was afraid I was going to have to reschedule. Luckily I didn't. Sitting in that office for 2 hours listening to my stomach growl was not fun. I am craving so many things. I was really wishing I had a protein shake on me to at least curb the hunger. The surgeon went over some forms for me to sign. He described in detail all the risk factors to this surgery. Although I have read them before, hearing him state them was scary.

I have had two c-sections and a uterine suspension. As a result I have a lot of scar tissue. He said if the scar tissue is too attached to my large intestines that they need for the surgery they will be unable to do a gastric bypass and will instead switch to a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. I am fine with that. I have researched the VSG and understand it also.

He did say my liver is really large and that could be a problem. That is why this pre-op diet is so important. It will help shrink my liver. If they go in on the day of surgery and it's still too large they could have to abort the surgery. He said that is rare and he's only had it happen 4 times. It would suck to go through the surgery and have all the pain and they not be able to do it. The last fear is they have to do an open gastric bypass rather than laproscopic. Again the odds are against that.

I had a pity party for a couple of days. I started thinking about how so many foods would be off limits and that was difficult. I didn't realize how addicted to some foods I am. I also have been having some fear which is natural, but still something to over come.

I went to support group this week and that really helped. It helps to hear others experience both the good and the ugly.

I had Brian take pictures of me from all angles for my "before" shots and plan to take measurements of myself so I will know how many inches I lose.

A time for sharing

2011-02-02T12:35:00.000-06:00

I have done lots and lots of research on gastric bypass. This post has to be one of the more helpful posts I have found.

There are some blogs I read also:

The Bypassed Life
Pouch Party

Some websites I like:
My Surgeon is Dr. Carpenter
Obesity Help
Weight Loss Surgery Connection
Bariatric Eating

Where I plan to order my protein shakes and vitamins:
Vitacost
Bariatric Choice

Some that I just found, but plan to check out:
Gastric Bypass Truth
Miles to Go

I am always looking for more blogs, webpages to read. If you have any to share that would be great! I will update this post with more great pages that I find.

Miles to Go

March 3!!

2011-01-31T13:03:00.000-06:00

I have my surgery date. It is March 3. That means that Feb. 17 is when I start my pre-op diet. I have a couple of appointments coming up with the surgeon.

Finally!

2011-01-06T09:27:00.002-06:00

Today is finally here! It is the day I get my 30 day compliance letter for using my CPAP machine. Once that is faxed over to the dr. they can begin the insurance approval process and set my date for my surgery. I called my dr and found out exactly how the process works. Once they receive my 30 day compliance letter the nurse practitioner reviews my file. If everything is as it should be then she will give me medical clearance. My file then goes to the insurance department who will get me preliminary medical insurance authorization. Once that is given they will call me with my date and begin the full medical insurance approval.

Hopefully soon I will be posting my surgery date! It should be in Jan!!!!

I have been having pre-surgery jitters. I am trying hard to remain positive and not think about the things that could go wrong, but there are times that the "what ifs" come to mind. I still feel really good about having this and know that it will do me much good.

My list now:

[X] gallbladder sonogram
[X] pap
[X] seminar
[X] Lifestyle Change Class
[X] referrals for psych exam, sleep study, and gastric bypass
[X] psych exam taken
[X]psych exam results in
[X] appt 1 for sleep study (breathing test)
[X] appt 2 for sleep study (dr. consult)
[X] appt 3 for sleep study (actual sleep study/CPAP fitting)
[X] appt 4 for sleep study (followup and results)
[X] appt with nurse practitioner
[X] attend support group (been once, going to keep going)
[X] blood work
[   ] insurance approval
[   ] 2 week pre-op diet
[   ] find out surgery date

Updates...

2010-12-08T11:51:00.001-06:00

Wow, it's been almost a month since I last posted on here. I need to do better. I am even worse about posting on my family blog, that one I went a year without posting anything.

I have some updates:

I finally saw the pulmonary dr and got the results of my sleep study. He confirmed I have sleep apnea and sent in a prescription for my CPAP machine. I went and picked up the machine and mask yesterday. I slept okay on the machine, but I did wake up more than usual. Finally at 5 am I took it off, but I think I slept worse after that. I have to wear it at least 5 hours every night for insurance to pay. It has a sd card inside that keeps track of how often I use it, for how long and if I am having sleep apnea spells still. I got a full mask since I am a mouth breather. Not sure how I like that. It's only been one night though, and it takes some time to get used to it. I go back in 30 days to have my card data downloaded and then in another 30 days I have to go back to the pulmonary dr.

I FINALLY got to see the nurse practitioner today. I found out that my surgery will be in mid to late Jan and that Dr. Carpenter and one of his associates will perform it. Dr. Carpenter is the dr. that gave the seminar and I liked him, so I am happy with that bit of news. We are still waiting for the results from the psych evaluation to come back. My preliminary results came back as I am normal, just waiting for the longer evaluation. Once I get that they will submit my paperwork to Tricare for insurance approval. Oh yeah, I have to have some blood tests tomorrow too. I have a meeting next week with the dietitian. I'm just glad things are starting to move forward. I weighed about 5 more lbs there than on other scales, but I found out I am an inch taller than I thought I was. I also had my official "before" picture taken and then in a year they will take my "after" picture. I plan to have Brian take some "before" pictures of me also. My blood pressure was up also. Just another reminder of why I am taking such a drastic step.

I have been so anxious to get things done and it gets frustrating moving at a snail's pace. I am the type of person who once I make up my mind likes to get things over with!

On a side note, I was told that after I have the surgery and start losing weight I will become very fertile. It is too dangerous to get pregnant so soon after the surgery, so Brian gets to go in and have a little 'clip clip' done. We have two beautiful children and had no plans to have more, but it still makes me a little sad to know that the option is gone for good. I feel bad for Brian, but am thankful for having such a wonderful husband who is willing to do so, so that I don't have to have yet another surgery.

Well, I think that is all the updates for now. Here is my list now:

[X] gallbladder sonogram
[X] pap
[X] seminar
[X] Lifestyle Change Class
[X] referrals for psych exam, sleep study, and gastric bypass
[X] psych exam taken
[    ]psych exam results in (still waiting for results)
[X] appt 1 for sleep study (breathing test)
[X] appt 2 for sleep study (dr. consult)
[X] appt 3 for sleep study (actual sleep study/CPAP fitting)
[X] appt 4 for sleep study (followup and results)
[X] appt with nurse practitioner
[X] attend support group (been once, going to keep going)
[O]appt with dietitian (scheduled for 13 Dec)
[O] blood work (will do tomorrow 9 Dec)
[   ] insurance approval (too early to begin this)
[   ] 2 week pre-op diet (too early to begin this)

Only three spaces left to fill!! YEAH

Then it will be the big one:
[ ] Have Gastric Bypass!

Then I will have a whole new check list to begin to begin my new journey to weight loss.

Lists...

2010-11-10T15:12:00.001-06:00

I seem to be making a lot of lists lately. Some of my lists are: a list of what co-morbidites I have, a list of things my weight keeps me from doing/enjoying, a list of what I want to do when I lose the weight, a list of things I will be able to do that I can't now, list of what I will and will not be able to eat, list of things I need to buy to be prepared for the surgery, a list of the vitamins and minerals I will be on for the rest of my life, a list of where I am in the process and many more lists. I keep them all in a notebook I use.

Here's my progress list:

[X] gallbladder sonogram
[X] pap
[X] seminar
[X] nutritional consult / Lifestyle Change Class
[X] referrals for psych exam, sleep study, and gastric bypass
[X] psych exam (still waiting for results)
[X] appt 1 for sleep study (breathing test)
[X] appt 2 for sleep study (dr. consult)
[ o ] appt 3 for sleep study (actual sleep study/CPAP fitting) ***SCHEDULED 16 NOV***
[ ] appt 4 for sleep study (followup and results)
[ o ] appt with nurse practitioner ***SCHEDULED 8 DEC***
[ ] insurance approval (too early to begin this)
[ ] 2 week pre-op diet
[ ] blood work

Slowly working my way down the list. It's frustrating because I am ready to get it done, but I know that this time is allowing me more time to prepare myself mentally. I feel like I am in the last month of a pregnancy, except instead of a new baby, I am going to have a whole new me!! Well a new me physically at least. I will have a lot of challenges to overcome afterwards both emotionally and physically.

I know that WLS (weight loss surgery) is not a magic pill or a quick cure. It is a tool. And used properly I will lose weight. If after a year I abuse the tool I will gain the weight back. I truly will have to change my ways emotionally and physically. I will forever have to eat differently and be active and do regular exercise. Even if I reach my goal weight I have to continue to work towards keeping that weight off and not falling back into old habits!

2010 = Year of Lasts - 2011 = Year of Firsts

2010-11-01T16:35:00.001-05:00

I have came to the conclusion that 2010 will be a year of lasts for me and 2011 will be a year of firsts.

Some examples:
This is the last year I will eat Halloween candy.
This is the last year I will be so out of shape that it is painful walking around the neighborhood for trick-or-treat.

Next year will be the first year in many years that I will be able to shop in the regular women's section.
Next year I will be able to roller skate, bike ride, and other activities without tiring out in the first few minutes.
Next year I will be able to ride on a roller coaster without having to worry about if I will fit in the seat/seatbelt.
Next year I will not be embarrassed to dress up for Halloween!

I keep thinking of lasts. I went to a Chinese buffet and thought, "this is probably the last time I will eat here". I did good too. Only filled my plate once, but I did go back and get desert. Soon there will be no more deserts for me. Well, there will be deserts, but they will come in the form of a protein shake, vitamins and minerals. lol. I am okay with it though. Sometimes I want to try coffee. I have never drank it, and wonder if I should just once, but I have went this long, no need to start now. Same with dark soda (i.e. Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper) I gave it up on Labor Day 1999 and have only drank Mt Dew (gave it up later on) and now occasionally Sprite. Once I have the surgery I won't be able to drink sodas and I am good with that, but sometimes I want to try just one more Coke.

My Sister asked me if I could give up my love affair/addiction with food. I told her I didn't have one, but as I have been looking back and really evaluating myself I realize I do. Certain foods give me happy memories, certain foods I turn to when stressed. I am addicted to chocolate. While most days I barely eat (I just plain forget to lunch most days), other days I eat way too much, or I eat way too much for dinner after forgetting the eat the rest of the day. Those are things I will have to overcome. My new stomach won't give me a choice. I would never have dreamed 13 years ago that I could give up Coke/Pepsi, and I did it without regret. I know I will be able to overcome my chocolate addiction. I know that I will learn to associate other things to happy memories that don't include food. One thing I am sad about it at least for the first several months I will have to give up tomatoes and cucumbers. I LOVE those. Not sure if I can have them long term or not, will depend on my stomach sensitivity.

I FINALLY got my date for my appointment with the Nurse Practitioner. I go 8 Dec. YEAH! I wanted to do a happy dance when they called me and told me. I was told they were out of appointments for the near future and worried it would be Jan before I go in. Once I see the NP it could be just 14 days till my surgery, however with the Christmas holiday it will probably be Jan. That's okay. I will still enjoy my holidays knowing that my surgery will be happening soon.

I went to support group last week. I really enjoyed it. There were some people there that had gastric bypass a year or more ago and then there were some that are pre-op. There was also a lady who has had lap-band. It was interesting hearing their stories and experiences. One man was several hundred pounds and had already lost 300 PRE surgery. He doesn't have a surgery date yet. We all discussed what our motivation to lose weight is. Mine is four things:
1. For myself: I deserve better than what I have allowed myself to become.
2. For my husband and my kids: I want to be able to keep up with them and live to see my grandchildren and hopefully even my great grandchildren
3. Because of my Mom, my Aunt and my Grandfather. My Mom and Aunt were still young when they had their first stroke. Neither were really overweight, but had high cholesterol and high blood pressure. My Grandfather had a massive heart attack in his early 50's and died from it. I don't want to have a stroke or a heart attack, but with the way things are going, I am following in their footsteps with the additional risk factor of being obese added on.
4. For my Dad. My Dad has buried 2 daughters when they were babies and 1 adult son at age 38. I don't want my Dad to bury me too.

Things seem to be going so slowly

2010-10-27T16:51:00.000-05:00

I have gotten a lot done that needs to be done, but it seems like there is still so much to do. Also it seems like it is going to be so long until I get to have surgery. Now that I have done the research and the hard thinking about this decision and made up my mind, I am ready to get it done!

My list now is this:
[x] gallbladder sonogram
[x] pap
[x] seminar
[x] nutritional consult / Lifestyle Change Class
[x] referrals for psych exam, sleep study, and gastric bypass
[x] psych exam (still waiting for results)
[x] appt 1 for sleep study (breathing test)
[x] appt 2 for sleep study (dr. consult)
[ ] appt 3 for sleep study (actual sleep study/CPAP fitting)
[ ] appt 4 for sleep study (followup and results)
[ ] appt with nurse practitioner
[ ] insurance approval (too early to begin this)
[ ] 2 week pre-op diet
[ ] blood work

At least I have more checked done than not. Found out yesterday that the nurse practitioner has no future available appt and they are booking into Dec. Will have to wait for either a cancelation or for when they open up more dates. Disappointed that I have more waiting to do, but at least that gives me more time to finish my sleep study up.

I did a search on Youtube and found a video of an actual gastric bypass. Not sure that was the best idea. lol. Have found some video blogs too that I enjoyed watching. One lady showed the bad with the good. I know it's not all roses, but it's different reading it and actually seeing a person the day after (week after, month after, etc) surgery talking about what they are going through. I'm thinking of doing a video blog also. Right now the thought of putting myself on video is too scary though. Do I really want people to see how bad I look?

Brian and I went to my Lifestyle Change Class this week. It was given my the nutritionist for my surgeon. I have done a lot of research so I knew a lot of what was said, but it was still nice to have it all explained to me in a clear manner. I look forward to my visit with the nurse when I will get a spiral notebook with lots more info in it. I can't seem to research enough! I did get a list of what protein supplements they approve of and have researched the different flavors and prices and various stores online so I know what I want to try first. I also got a list of what vitamin and supplements they want me on both pre and post surgery. I was glad Brian was able to attend with me. It was the first of the appt. I have had that he has been able to attend. The changes I will be making in my life will effect him also and I wanted him to realize just what all they are.

I was hoping I would have this done before Thanksgiving, but now it's looking like it could be Jan. I don't want to be in the hospital over Christmas break. I used to work in a hospital and I have always said I would not voluntarily be in the hospital over the holidays. Just like I don't want to be in there on a Fri afternoon or weekend.

I did hear that once I get my appt with the nurse practitioner from there things move quickly. They said the insurance approval for Tricare is pretty straightforward and all that will be holding me back is the 2 week preoperative diet.

Here is the list of the protein shakes that the dietitian for my surgeon approves of:

Body Fortress Super Advanced Whey Protein (Walmart)
Pure Protein 100% Whey Protein (Target)
Optimum Nutrition 100% Whey Gold Standard (GNC)
GNC Pro Performance Whey Isolate 28 (GNC)
Nature's Best Isopure Zero Carb (Naturesbest.com, GNC)
GNC Pro Performance Soy Protein 95 (GNC)
Unjury Medical Quality Protein (Unjury)
Syntrax Necter (syntrax.com, bariatricadvantage.com, celebratevitamins.com, vitacost.com)
Bariatric Advantage Meal Replacement (bariatricadvantage.com)

She said they took into account protein, amt of carbs, amino acids, etc.
Right now I am going to go with Syntrax Necter and Opt. Nut. 100% Whey Gold Std. I have read reviews and they have really good ones for taste etc. Also the Syntrax one is considered a clear liquid so I can use it the first couple days post op.

I have researched vitamin and supplement prices and found the best deals for those are at bariatricadvantage.com.

The other surgeon I was thinking of using has a store at their office and their prices are competitive with online prices without have the shipping cost, so I am going to see if I can buy product from their store even though I didn't go through them for the surgery.

I have to get a shaker bottle for help mix up my protein shakes. I want to get a blender bottle that has the metal spring or ball in it to help break up the clumps. I also would like to get a new blender to help with the purees and stuff I will have to eat for the first few months. I have a fake magic bullet, but am not thrilled with it. Bed Bath and Beyond has one I want to do more research on before I get it: Ninja Blender If anyone has that, let me know what you think. I need to read some reviews and compare prices. Just learned of it today.

Well, I have typed enough. If you are still actually reading this... leave some love in the form of a comment!!!

Some changes, but still on the path...

2010-10-13T16:54:00.000-05:00

I have done a lot of research and a lot of praying and have decided to go with another dr. I am going to go with the local one out of Scott and White. Scott & White link I liked the other dr group, but something about Scott and White appeals to me more. There are several reasons.
They are closer, won't have to go 3 hours away for surgery. They're at their close office 5 days a week vs. the twice monthly the other is in town for follow up appts. There is a local support group. Liked what the dr. said at the seminar better. Some other reasons. Just feel deep down that they are a better choice

My PCM has put the necessary referrals in. I have taken my psychology test (waiting for results ~ hopefully they don't find out I am crazy :P ). I still need to get a sonogram done on my gallbladder, get retested for sleep apnea and get my CPAP if needed. I will also need to get a current PAP done and routine bloodwork. Once all that is done and they have the results, they will submit it to Tricare for approval. At that point it could take as little as a week to get the approval. So... if all goes well and my gallbladder tests okay then it should be about a month.

Weird to think that by Thanksgiving I could be reworked inside and not be eating Thanksgiving meal. I don't need to eat to enjoy the holiday and will have lots of things to be thankful for.

Just curious...

2010-10-06T16:19:00.001-05:00

Does anyone actually read this? If so leave a comment and let me know!!!

Baby steps...

2010-10-05T17:03:00.000-05:00

One step at a time. I keep reminding myself. It seems like everything is moving along so slow. I met one of the surgeons on Friday. It was a one on one meeting instead of a large seminar like other drs. do. I was able to ask questions, etc. After my appointment with him I had my nutritional consult. Now for the things I still need to get done before a date can be set:

I have to have my gallbladder sonogram done. My PCM ordered that before I went to see the surgeon due to my gallbladder acting up. Hopefully I will not need it removed. If I do, it will be in a separate surgery than the bypass. The surgeon said they don't like to do both at the same time.
I have to have my second night of a sleep study done and get calibrated for a CPAP machine. I did my first night a long time ago and was diagnosed with mild to moderate sleep apnea.
I have to get a letter of clearance from a Psychiatrist stating I am mentally capable of handling the changes my body will go through and the emotional toll I will go through.

The big hurdle will be to get Tricare to approve it. I meet the criteria, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Once I get approved I can set the date!! They are scheduling about 3 weeks out right now. Once I have a date set I will have to get bloodwork with 30 days of the surgery date and then there is a diet I will have to follow for 2 weeks prior to reduce the amount of fat in my liver.

The diet is as follows:

Breakfast - 1 protein shake, a multi vitamin and a calcium supplement
Lunch - 1 protein shake, and a calcium supplement
Dinner- 3 oz (palm size) lean protein serving (i.e. chicken, fish, turkey), non starchy veggie (NOT potatoes and corn), a multi vitamin and a calcium supplement.

I will also need to drink AT LEAST 64 ounces of water each day.

They gave me a list of which protein shakes to use and which ones to avoid and what to look for in a shake. The shakes will be a part of my daily routine after the surgery, so doing this before hand will help me figure out what flavors/types I like, can tolerate, etc.

There is a list of medications that I can't take for 2 weeks prior. Tylenol and Mobic are the only two I see I will have to stop. Of course I will go over my list of meds with the dr to make sure there are not also on the list.

Now that I have done the research, and done the soul searching I am ready. I wish I could speed time up to the day of the surgery. I am ready to start that part of the adventure.

I find myself checking out clothes and shoes in the misses/juniors dept and thinking "wow I will be able to wear that soon". I am afraid I am going to really enjoy shopping for clothes again once I reach my goal weight. Of course until then I will be hitting up resale shops and thrift stores since my size will be changing so quickly.

I don't just think about the good that will come from this surgery. I think about the bad too. The scary side effects. The worst case scenarios. I try not to dwell on them, but they do cross my mind. I know that this is not going to be easy, that there are days I will be crying in pain or frustration, but I also know that soon I will be able to actually JUMP for joy!

I read somewhere that some think gastric bypass is the easy way out. I guess those are the same people that consider a c-section easier that natural. Oh well, there are people like that and I won't let them get to me.

Decisions, decisions...

2010-09-24T19:53:00.000-05:00

So I think I have chosen who I want to go with. I have an appt on the 1st with them. I have done a lot of research on them and the other group and like what I have found. I am going with http://www.texasbariatricspecialists.com/ even though they are a few hours away. Just the surgery will be in San Antonio, my followup care will be local. I am hoping everything goes well at my appointment.

I have talked to my PCM and he is agreeable to me having the surgery, so I know that when I need the referral it won't be a problem. I also learned that I am Glucose Intolerant. Yet another reason to lose weight. I am going to go on a diabetic diet until my surgery. I have an appointment with the local diabetic nutrition meeting on base to help me. I don't want to have it turn into actual diabetes.

I've been researching protein shakes too. I want to sample some and figure out which ones I like BEFORE I have the surgery so I am not having to deal with that when I am in pain. Here is one that has really good reviews: Syntrax Necter.

I have decided to write myself a note. In this note I am going to write about how unhappy I am heavy. What all I am unable to do and what all I look forward to doing when I lose weight. I am going to remind myself that when things get rough in the first days after the surgery it is for a good reason and that I did not make a mistake. I will use that note to remind myself how I feel now to give me motivation not to give up.

I have told my hubby I DO NOT want to be babied. That I HAVE to get up and walk and move even if it hurts.

I am being open about this plan. When I tell someone I am thinking of having this surgery, I am not embarassed. I am embarassed that I allowed myself to get this fat, but I will not be embarassed that I am getting the surgery. I am finally doing something proactive to correct the years of mistakes I have made.

Weightloss surgery is NOT a cure or an easy way out, but it is a TOOL and when you use that tool correctly, you have good results. I have decided that I WILL be a success story! I am going to stay on the positive side on this! I have been through 2 c-sections, 1 uterine suspension, 5 deployments and multiple field rotations. I have raised two small children in a foreign country with my husband deployed. I am STRONG and I can do anything I put my mind to!

Why...

2010-09-08T17:26:00.001-05:00

Why am I choosing to make this blog you might ask. For one I talk a lot! Okay you knew that. Seriously I have a lot of thoughts on this subject and feel that by blogging it I won't have to talk to everyone about it and can get my thoughts organized. I also want a record to look back on in the future so I can remember what this time felt like.

I also feel the more people I have along for the ride, the more people I have supporting me and the more people I have to answer to were I to fail.

I wasn't always fat

2010-09-08T17:11:00.000-05:00

Growing up I didn't struggle with my weight at all, except 5th grade. In 5th grade I was a little pudgy, but I quickly outgrew that stage and didn't have other issues until after I had my first son. If you had told me 16 years ago that I would become morbidly obese, I would have laughed. I was even a firefighter (volunteer position) for a couple years. I was proud of how in shape I was and how strong I was. I was 125 lbs when I got preg. I was 20.

Then came the baby by c-section, surgery to repair damage by baby, then excuses, excuses, excuses....
I lost a bunch (around 40-50 lbs) of the weight when Kris was 2. Didn't stay off long before I started gaining it back. Lost about 28 in 1999 just by giving up sodas. Then I got preg. again. New baby, c-section, excuses, excuses excuses. Moved to Germany in 2001. There came Germany chocolate and pastries. Yummy. More pounds packed on. Husband deployed=weight gain X 5 deployments and multiple field exercise= one big unhappy Robin. I then fell down a flight of stairs, broke my tailbone, injured my hip and back. From there came more excuses. It became too painful to walk let alone exercise. Just got bigger and bigger.

I tried weight loss diets. Did slim fast (found out I have lactose problems). Atkins caused a 'backup' in my plumbing ;). Counting calories didn't work for me. I don't eat enough most days and had to force myself to eat enough calories. I gained weight by not eating enough and not making the right choices when I do. I have tried to just limit portions the last few months and have started working again and have lost 10 lbs since April. I have over 120 more to go.

I am not trying to make more excuses. I know the fault is mine. I didn't "catch a virus and get fat". I got fat because I didn't take care of myself and what I ate.

First steps

2010-09-08T16:52:00.000-05:00

Called today to set up initial visit. Have to see what my schedule is like for next week before I set the appointment. They will set me up with a patient advocate and stuff so that I am helped along all the steps to come. There is also an online support group and a group that meets in Austin. The surgery would be in San Antonio if I go with this group. There is another group in Temple at Scott and White so I will have to decide on which one I want to use soon.

Here is the San Antonio Website. I would only have to go to SA for the surgery, the rest would be here in town.

I don't know the website for the Temple one. My neighbor had her G.B. with them a couple months ago and recomends them.

Still have more research to do before deciding. This is not something I am taking lightly. I have been thinking/researching for sometime and know that it is a serious surgery with risks involved. There are risks involved in staying morbidly obese too. Brian and I have been discussing the risks and benefits also and I have talked with the boys about it too. While it is my body and ultimately my decision, I want us all on board for this journey. I will be depending on them a lot in the beginning. Thankfully I am married to a wonderful man who I know will support me and have great kids.

Recycle me!

2010-09-08T16:43:00.000-05:00

I love the idea of recycling. Take someone old and worn out and redo it so that it is new again. Well, my body needs to be recycled. Underneath this tired and aching frame is a new me just waiting to get out.

I am researching and looking towards having a gastric bypass and I wanted to journal my journey and I invite you along for the ride. It's always good to have a friend along.