Childcare and You

Indian Midwife - A Dying Breed?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 27 Mar 2014 11:06:00 -0700

In rural India, until a few decades ago, midwives were an integral part in the gynecology scene. Hospitals were few and far between and the nearest one with basic amenities was over an hour away. There were no doctor on call nor were there any vehicles on standby to rush you there. Enter midwife aka Dai, in Hindi, who lived in the vicinity and used indigenous methods based on an intimate knowledge of the female anatomy and years of experience.

She bustles into the room of the expectant mother, shoos away the others, opens her trusted bag of supplies after ensuring there is plenty of hot water, soap, cotton etc and keeps up a steady monologue aimed at soothing the expectant woman writhing in pain. Deftly, the midwife examines her, asks relevant questions and when the time is right, signals her to push. Outside, the husband's anxious face would break into a wide smile the moment he hears the shrill cry of the baby and waits impatiently to hear that all is well. The midwife is suitably rewarded and she continues to visit the new mother for months afterwards to ensure her and her baby's well being.

Until the early 1960s, in my native village in Kerala (South India), women belonging to a community called the 'valakkathrol' were called to handle childbirth. They were 'traditional' midwives and all they used to have, was a knife that was used to cut the umbilical cord. These women relied on their intimate knowledge of ancient folk medicine and experience. My grandmother delivered her ten children in her bed at home, with a valakkathrol in attendance. Going to a hospital was not an option in these remote villages. Farm work, running large households coupled with nutritious wholesome food, had conditioned pregnant women of those days and eased childbirth. They were not bogged down by stress or weakened by the rigors of living in a competitive world that exists today.

I was amazed when my mother had narrated her experience with the midwife, when she had given birth to my older brother. She had gone to her parents house (a beautiful quaint village) in Kerala for the delivery. When the time came, she was at home in bed. The midwife had instructed her to push. One hand was lightly placed on my mom's stomach and the other hand held a thick rolled piece of cloth that was pressed tightly to her anus!! My mother explained that it was to stop her from expelling her stools....which was likely when you had to push with all your might. Nowadays, enema is administered through the anus and your bowels are cleared before you get ready for the delivery.

Sadly, midwives are a dwindling lot now. It started during the British rule, when the English missionaries started spreading the western method of childbirth. They wanted to replace midwives with trained nurses. The midwife training centres that they built did not help our 'dai' as it required knowledge of English. However, after independence, dais benefited a lot from improvised training policies that equipped them to deal with delivery complications and reduce infant mortality.

In the villages, most dais have a loyal clientele and they prefer them over trained midwives, because in addition to assisting childbirth, she is on call to give you valuable advice, right from your first term of pregnancy until after postpartum, in the comfort of your home. As a consequence, the new mother is happy and relaxed which helps in smooth delivery.

It is interesting to note that midwifery originated in ancient India and is one of the oldest professions in the world. Charaka (200 BC) known the father of medicine and Sushruta(600 BC) known as father of surgery, refer to midwives in their writings as wet nurses from decent families.

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Postpartum Constipation - Home Remedies

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 10:33:00 -0800

Constipation after childbirth should be treated. If neglected, it can lead to added pain and discomfort. Although it will be hard to pass bowels for the first couple of days after childbirth, you must make an effort to go to the toilet. However, do not force yourself if you are finding it hard to pass your stools.
I used to dread going to the toilet as the mere thought of having to bear the sharp stinging pain in my anus as well as my pelvic passage would deter me.

I have given below a few home remedies that are safe and will help ease your bowels. Stick to a regular routine of going to the toilet every morning if possible.

Take a spoonful of ghee (clarified butter) in a glass of warm water just before going to bed.
Take a glass of warm water with 2 tsps of honey 3 times every day.
Juice of half a lemon in a glass of hot water first thing in the morning is effective.
A decoction of boiling a tbsp of roasted fennel seeds in 1 liter of water is very effective for constipation and stomach cramps due to gas.
Isabgol or psyllium husk is an excellent source of fiber. It is very effective to cure constipation and irregular bowel movements.

Psyllium husks are native plants of India and Pakistan

Take 1 tbsp of isabgol/psyllium husk added to a glass of lukewarm water before bedtime every day. Isabgol is available in packets in a medical store.
Application of petroleum jelly/vaseline in and around your anus will soothe burning sensation as well as ease bowel movements.
Juice of aloe vera is also very effective for smooth bowels.
Green tea also helps ease your bowel movements.
Last but not the least, drink plenty of warm water.

Postpartum Constipation

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 10:01:00 -0800

Constipation is the inability to pass stools that has become hard due lack of fiber in your food, inadequate intake of water and physical inactivity. However, it is normal not to feel the need to pass stools for a couple of days’ right after childbirth because you had been given enema to clear your stomach and intestines plus you have not eaten anything the whole time during labor. So there is nothing in your intestines to excrete.

In a cesarean section, you may take longer to start your bowel movements (BM). Although doctors may assure you that you would start your BM in a day or two, I have heard women with C section taking longer than that. The reason being that you could be afraid to apply any pressure on account of the pain.

Sometimes, systemic painkillers given to you during labor in order to help you relax, may slow down your digestion and cause constipation. High dose of iron supplements may cause hard stools.

Sometimes, a sore perineum (area between the vagina and anus) may force you to hold back your stools if you are scared of feeling more pain. An episiotomy (a cut given by the doc to widen the vagina for easy delivery) may also force you to hold back your stools, causing constipation eventually.

Therefore, it is important to try and attempt to pass stools as soon as you can to avoid constipation because pain while passing hard stools can add to the pain and discomfort you may feel especially after a C section.

Lifestyle and proper diet

Go to the toilet as soon as you feel the urge for bowel movement, no matter how painful or uncomfortable it might be. Always remember, delay will harden your stools and worsen your pain. Pour some warm water on your anus to soothe the pain and slightly dilate the anus
Your diet should include foods with high fiber content like whole grains, cereals, oats,veggies like carrot, radish and beet roots and citrus fruits like oranges & sweet lime.
One serving of pineapple or grapes or guava or over ripe banana at bedtime
Eat fruits with their skin on.
Soak about 5-6 prunes/raisins overnight and have it first thing in the morning.
5 to 6 dates (khajur) every day in the morning.
A serving of papaya with breakfast is a very good laxative.
Add wheat bran or rice bran to chappati/bread dough.
Take a mid-morning vegetable soup, especially of tomato with spinach.
Drink plenty of water every three hours every day.
Avoid sodas, coffee, fried foods, burgers, pizzas, cakes & pastries
Avoid cold foods and chilled drinks. A short walk around the block will activate your bowels.
Maintain a regular morning routine of bowel movement.

Spanking Your Child – Does it Work?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 09:12:00 -0800

There are varied schools of thoughts on spanking as a form of punishment. Some advocate it as acceptable and necessary, especially in situations where young children may not comprehend verbal explanations as effectively as physical discipline. Others strongly oppose it as barbaric and dangerous to a child’s emotional development.

Although spanking is the most common and overused form of punishment, its disadvantages outweighs the advantages. The benefit of punishment by spanking is short lived because children being children, they would continue to do the same thing that they were spanked for in the first place.

Spanking puts a stop to unruly behavior only temporarily. It could put fear into a child but it could also teach your child that it is okay to hit others or that it is possible to use brute force to get what he wants. He could also presume that it is okay for big or strong people to hit little or weaker people and view spanking as a solution to a problem. Consequently, your child could exhibit aggression and violent behavior in his interaction with siblings, friends and later on with his spouse and kids.

Children ape parents and look at them as role models. Spanking your child could project your image as disrespectful and unfair, thereby, influencing his behavior with others. Usually, parents unconsciously, bring up their children similar to the way they were brought up. If you were spanked as a child, chances are that you would continue that with your child.

However, I think, spanking could be effective if properly applied in selective situations and not as a means to scare your child or vent your anger. It could teach your child that he would not get away with wrongdoing. He would learn that bad behavior would have bad consequences and loving your child before and after his act would ease his conscience of any kind of shame or guilt and allow him to start afresh.

If you discipline your child from the beginning, he would become receptive to your instructions and it would not be necessary to spank him. Depriving your child of his privileges, isolating him in his room or changing your way of handling him are very effective alternatives to spanking. ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ used to be a popular maxim in the olden days. However, a good balance between these two styles of parenting could develop your child into sensitive, happy and caring individual.

Yoga to Remove Your Body Toxins

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 6 Mar 2012 09:40:00 -0800

The ‘Yoni’ Mudra

‘Yoni’ in Sanskrit means ‘uterus’ and ‘Mudra’ means ‘using your hands’. The ‘yoni’ mudra is a type of pranayam that involves isolating your senses and look within in order to calm and relax your mind. While doing this mudra, your mind becomes aware of the inner workings of your body. Thus ‘yoni mudra’ symbolizes what a baby’s experiences inside a uterus. It is effective in enhancing your concentration and sharpening your mental focus.

In the video below I am showing how it is done.

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The Simha Mudra or the Roaring Lion pose

‘Simha in Sanskrit means ‘Lion’ and the posture resembles the posture of a fierce lion with its wide open mouth and tongue stretched out. The Simha Mudra pranayam is a very good exercise for your face. It exercises your facial muscles and helps you look younger and healthier. It is equivalent to a ‘facial’ of a beauty salon. Additionally, the Simha Mudra is a great stress buster and helps you to expel your worries and body toxins. It is also very effective for thyroid disorder as it strengthens your throat muscles.

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Thyroid Problems - Strengthen Your Thyroid with Yoga

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 09:27:00 -0800

If you are feeling depressed, extremely tired, irritable, losing hair, gaining weight and heavy menstrual bleeding, it could be due to thyroid disorder that often goes unnoticed or undetected. Thyroid disorder can also raise your blood sugar levels and cholesterol. Get yourself checked right away. But what is thyroid and why is it so important?

You can find the thyroid gland, shaped like a butterfly, in the front part of your neck, just below the thyroid cartilage or the Adam’s apple. The main function of the thyroid gland is to produce hormones that regulate your metabolism, breathing, heart rate and growth of body tissues. Thyroid disorder occurs when the thyroid hormone is either produced too little or too much.

Normal thyroid enlarged thyroid

Researchers have found that women are more prone to thyroid disorder than men on account of irregular secretion of thyroid hormone in their bodies. Women were found to have thyroid disorder 5 to 10 times more than men. The cause is still unknown although it is certain that thyroid disorder has nothing to do with the hormone estrogen, because thyroid disorder can occur at any age in a woman: before puberty or after menopause. Studies show that thyroid disorders are hereditary and children may inherit it from any parent having thyroid disorder.

A friend of mine who is only in her 30’s has thyroid disorder since many years and found out recently that her young daughter aged 14 has thyroid disorder too. She was alert to her daughter’s uncharacteristic symptoms of tiredness and ill temper and guessed right away that she could be having thyroid disorder. Subsequent blood test confirmed her fears.

Thyroid disorder can cause infertility, osteoporosis, obesity, diabetes and cardiac issues. Diseases like diabetes, cholesterol cannot be controlled if you have a thyroid disorder. An underactive thyroid or hypothyroidism (more common) may make it difficult for a woman to conceive, especially if it goes undetected. Early detection will help you regulate thyroid with appropriate yoga exercises or medication.

Hypothyroidism has similar symptoms as pregnancy like tiredness, weight gain, absentmindedness etc. If a pregnant woman has hypothyroidism and fails to treat it, she could increase her chances of a defective baby or stillbirth.

A woman I know, who was pregnant, had hypothyroidism that she was unaware of. She found out only toward the end of her last trimester. Consequently, she gave birth to a Down’s baby. She also had other complications like anemia and intermittent bleeding throughout her term which her doctors termed as ‘placental previa’.

But don't worry or despair. You can effectively strengthen your thyroid gland and get it in top condition with ‘Matya aasan’ or ‘fish’ posture in yoga. ‘Matsya’ in Sanskrit means ‘fish’ and ‘aasan’ means ‘posture’. Regular practice of this posture will keep your thyroid healthy and strong.

In the video below, I am doing the ‘matsya aasan’ for improving your thyroid and the ‘pavan mukta aasan’ that is effective for digestion and expelling postpartum gas.

Alternatively you can do 'pranayam' or a yoga breathing technique called the 'ujjayi pranayam' which is extremely effective to maintain your thyroid health and keep it healthy. (read Pranayam – Yogic Breathing for Your Body and Soul)

Pregnancy –‘Do’s’, ‘Dont’s’ and ‘Think Twice’ of Things When Pregnant

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 00:10:00 -0800

As a pregnant woman, you must change your lifestyle and eating habits to suit the needs of your baby and improve its health. There are several do’s, don’ts and ‘maybe’s or ‘think twice’ issues that you need to consider during your pregnancy. Here is my own list of them.

DO’s

Eat well – (read Pregnancy – Do You Really Need to Eat for Two?) Eat a healthy, nutritious balanced meal, rich in proteins, vitamins, carbs, minerals, fiber and good fats. You only need to have an additional 300 calories from your usual consumption, daily. Don’t go overboard with food that is high in calories but low in nutrition. You will gain weight that may be hard for you shed after childbirth.

Eat protein rich foods, healthy fats and fiber – Proteins are your body’s builder blocks; healthy fats have omega 3 fatty acids, necessary for your developing your baby’s brain and fiber is needed to avoid constipation and allow for smooth expulsion of waste matter.

Take folic acid and prenatal vitamins – Folic acid is very important for brain and spine development of your baby. Start on folic acid supplements as soon as you discover you are pregnant. Plus, eat foods rich in folic acid like okra (ladies finger), asparagus, broccoli, lentils, avocado, leafy greens, all types of seeds & nuts and lentils. Vitamin supplements will compensate for any deficiency in your diet.

Exercise every day – (read Pregnancy - Top Exercises For an Easy Childbirth) – Exercise is an absolute must during pregnancy. Exercise strengthens your pelvic muscles through which the baby can come out smoothly and easily. Moreover, exercise eliminates complication during childbirth and ensures a safe delivery.

Check your prenatal stats regularly – Once your pregnancy is confirmed, it is very important to visit your gynecologist regularly to get an update about yours and your baby’s health, in order to avoid complications during labor.

Mention your family’s medical history to your doctor – You must come clean with your doctor about your family’s medical history such as diabetes, cardiac issues, herpes, high blood pressure, epilepsy, liver problems and renal issues, so that your doctor will examine you and recommend treatment and medications based on your medical history.

Take your tetanus shot – Tetanus is a dangerous bacteria that can enter your body through an open wound on the skin. It is necessary to take tetanus vaccine during pregnancy to protect your baby from harm and to prevent premature delivery. If it is your first pregnancy, you will be required to take two doses of tetanus vaccine. In India, the first one is given during the first trimester and the second one during the third trimester.

Check for immunity to Rubella - In the US, there used to be many outbreaks of Rubella (German measles) and pregnant women were advised to check their immunity to rubella. If you did not get immunized for rubella before your pregnancy, then it is important to take a blood test right away and follow up with your doctor. Nowadays, Rubella has been quite effectively controlled but it is better to get screened for immunity in order to avoid a miscarriage and protect your baby from birth defects.

Choose the right hospital and doctor – It is important to choose the right hospital and a doctor, as you need to be feel comfortable and at ease during childbirth. A well-equipped hospital, its efficient and competent doctors and nursing staff will boost your confidence in them and set the tone for your entire pregnancy and childbirth.

Close Proximity of hospital to your residence – It would be ideal if the hospital was not very far from your home, especially in case of an emergency, when you might be required to rush off at a moment’s notice, when your water breaks or you have sudden contractions or your pelvic passage is showing full dilation. In such cases, having the hospital at easy distance would be a true blessing.

Don’t worry and be happy – (read Pregnancy – Things You Did Not Know About). You will go through various changes in your body mentally as well as physically. Don’t worry about them as they are the byproducts of pregnancy and will go away after childbirth. It is important to stay happy at all times because your mental well-being transmits to the baby and will ensure its proper growth. ‘Pranayam’or deep breathing yoga exercises is a great stress buster and regular practice will leave you relaxed and calm (read Deep Breathing Techniques Will Help Ease Your Pain During Labor)

Take proper precautions while traveling – Traveling, during pregnancy, especially far off places, requires additional care. Take adequate precautions while doing so.

DON’T’s

Avoid fast food and junk food – Junk and fast foods are very high in calories and have very low nutritive value. You need food that will enhance your baby’s health.

Avoid raw meat and unpasteurized cheese – Raw meat may contain a parasite called toxoplasma gondii that can cause ‘toxoplasmosis’ to you and your baby, leading to miscarriage or birth defects. Raw meat also contains bacteria called salmonella that can cause food poisoning, harming your baby’s health. Cook your meat well and make it safe to eat for you and your baby.

Avoid fish high in mercury content – Oily fishes like sardines, salmons and mackerel are very good for health as it is rich in omega 3 fatty acids, needed for brain and spine development of your baby. But some fish like swordfish, king mackerel, shark and tile fish are very high in mercury and should be avoided to prevent risk of mercury poisoning to you and your baby. Sardines, salmon, oyster, tilapia, herring and catfish have the lowest mercury levels and are safe for eating. Closer home, in the Indian shores, pomfret, Bombay duck, shrimp and crab have been detected with high mercury levels, on account of water contamination. In fact, water pollution and contamination has been on the rise, worldwide. Pregnant mothers and children must think twice before tucking into seafood.

Avoid excess intake of mineral supplements – Anything in excess is harmful for health. Everything in moderation should be catch phrase. Therefore, popping in vitamin supplements as if there is not tomorrow is dangerous. Any medication should be as per doctor’s orders.

Avoid smoking and passive smoking – It is needless to say that you must stop smoking when you are pregnant, for obvious reasons. Smoking reduces the supply of oxygen to your baby due to increase in carbon monoxide and nicotine in your blood. Consequently, your baby's heart beats faster to take in more oxygen and the blood vessels that transfer the nutrients to your baby gets constricted and affects your baby's growth. Passive smoking, wherein, you are inhaling smoke from other people’s cigarettes, is even worse. Stay away from cigarettes and other people with cigarettes.

Avoid alcohol and drugs – Anything you eat or drink is passed on to your baby. When you drink alcohol, the alcohol level in your baby's blood becomes higher than the alcohol level in your blood because your baby is unable to break down alcohol the way you, as an adult can. Stop alcohol to avoid fetal damage. Drugs contains strong chemicals, which is potentially harmful to your baby. Drugs can impair your baby’s development and cause complications during delivery. Consult your doctor before using prescription or over-the-counter drugs, especially if they are unsafe to be taken during pregnancy.

Avoid strong smells and fumes from paints, aerosols and pesticides – These things have strong chemical smells that are very toxic and poisonous. Stay away from them.

Be careful around pets – As much as you love your pets, like dogs, cats, rabbits, turtles, iguanas, guinea pigs etc., looking after them during pregnancy is challenging, especially with issues like hair shedding, transferring bacteria through their feces etc. A little precaution, when you are around them is advised. Wear gloves while disposing off their litter and wash your hands thoroughly afterwards.

Avoid steam and sauna baths – Sauna and steam baths can turn up your body temperature, raising your baby’s body temperature as well. As your baby cannot sweat or cool off inside your womb, you must take care not to raise your body temperature above 100 degrees F or it could turn serious. It would be better to avoid hot baths. If you must have one, ensure you drink plenty of water and juices before using a hot bath, to avoid dehydration.

Avoid doing strenuous workouts – Strenuous workouts will work you up into a sweat and heat up your body, thereby raising your baby’s temperature inside your womb. In hot weather, your body will be inclined to get hot faster. Drink lots of water to cool off and check your body temperature with a thermometer every ½ hour.

THINK TWICE

About X-Rays – Although risks due to exposure to x-rays, is not much, it might be wise to use a good protective shield or postpone any treatment requiring x-rays during a visit to a dentist or an orthopedic.

About cell-phones and lap tops – These devices have low-level electromagnetic fields emitting less energy but consistent exposure to radiation may impact the baby’s body cells. New studies have declared that long-term usage of cell phones is unadvisable and may cause miscarriage and development defects.

About Electric blankets – Sleeping with an electric blanket on high can pose a hazard, as your body will overheat and dehydrate, which may be harmful to your baby, especially as your baby cannot sweat or cool itself off inside your womb. Electric blanket on a comfortable and safe setting is alright but make sure you drink enough water for your body to cool off. The best way to use an electric blanket, according to the ACOG would be, to heat up your bed before your bedtime, so that it is adequately warm by the time you are ready to hit the bed.

About water bed heaters – They are the same as electric blankets and should be used moderately.

About microwave ovens – They emit radiation although in low levels. However, an old appliance might not be safe. To be on the safe side, don’t stand directly in front of the microwave while using it.

About sonography(ultrasounds) – They pose no harm if used minimally but long term and frequent scan can be controlled. Do the sonography only on doctor’s orders.

About caffeine – Caffeine is said to be an energizer that is good to kick start your day. However, a pregnant woman is advised against consumption as studies claim that chemicals present in disagrees with fetal growth.

About unfiltered tap water – Tap water may contain harmful contaminants that could cause water borne diseases like diarrhea or jaundice. Use a water filter to remove dirt, fluoride and other sediments. In India, village women drink unfiltered water without any health issues. The reason is that your body becomes tough and immune with strong antibodies to fight germs.

Every day, there are new discoveries about the good and bad effects of substances used for daily consumption. What is good today may not be good tomorrow as per recent studies. Therefore, it would be wise to use anything in moderation, in order to enjoy a healthy life. Do your own research about the do’s and don’ts during pregnancy and have a safe childbirth.

Spiritual Outlook in Daily Life

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 20:29:00 -0800

Millions of years ago, man’s inherent inquisitive nature led him to the discovery that everything in nature worked with regularity and precision and decided that there must be an Infinite force behind it. He documented his experiences in sacred texts and lived by its principles in order to be well fortified with the art of living.

Today, the world has taken great leaps scientifically, yet peace and happiness continues to remain an elusive commodity because man has chosen to violate nature’s laws, live the way he wants and start his spiritual education only at the fag-end of his life.

People are sometimes hesitant to answer when asked if they were spiritual. For most part, they would answer in the affirmative without realizing they were confusing spirituality with religious practices. They mistakenly perceived that knowledge of scriptures & rituals made one spiritual even though they did not apply its lofty principles in their life.

People tend to focus on not what their life is but what it isn’t. You think your life would be better if certain conditions were met and let your dissatisfaction show up about what you think of people and events you have no control over. You will not get anywhere with such negativity and if you base your happiness on things being different than they are currently, you set yourself up for constant disappointment and misery. If you respond to life rather than react to it, you can make a difference between peaceful existence and inner turmoil. Your mind is such a complex instrument that reading philosophy or listening to motivational lectures will not strengthen it unless you incorporate spiritual disciplines in your life.

Spiritual practice satisfies man’s physical, emotional and intellectual needs. You are essentially divine because God resides within you. But your divinity is obscured by greed, lust, anger, jealousy, envy, desire and attachment. Meditation, one of the highest forms of spiritual discipline, will bring out your true nature, control your chaotic thoughts, help you stay detached and maintain equanimity in life’s misdemeanors.

Desire is the core cause of all suffering, closely followed by ego. Meditation helps you transcend these emotions and evolve into a tolerant and composed person. It purges your body of all desires, quite similar to the way diarrhea purges your body. You learn to remain unmoved by pleasure, pain, joy or sorrow and stay calm in the face of any turbulence in your life. You realize that arrogance must be replaced with humility and crookedness with straightforwardness, to be truly at peace with yourself.

Spirituality broadens your mind and opens it wide to all diverse views and opinions. You are able to accept the possibility that there are other perceptions beside your own that are plausible. You stop being judgmental or dogmatic about your views and become empathetic to other people’s pain. You are no longer looking outward for answers to life’s questions. You look within and take responsibility for your actions. You realize that true spirituality lies in listening more, understanding more and reflecting more.

Own Up Your Mistakes

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 20:27:00 -0800

Perhaps, one of the toughest things to do in life is to say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” Most people are extremely reluctant to admit their mistakes for fear of being ridiculed or mocked. Sometimes, your ego is the impeding factor to stop you from owning up your mistake. Your ego is large enough to obscure your sense of fair play and you find yourself unable to even accept the possibility of having erred. It is a rare breed of person who confesses or offers a sincere apology.

It is this inability to express regret that is the root cause of most human strife in our society. Misunderstandings, conflicts, uprisings and wars are the by-products of the actions of unrepentant nations, societies and individuals. Unrepentant and unforgiving nature costs human lives and totally destroys the fabric of societies on the whole.

Expecting forgiveness from others because you believe it is not your fault is tantamount to a potter blaming the wheel for shaping a misshapen pot. Even though the mistake may not be totally your own, you have, in a subtle way, either through your reaction, action or inaction, played your part badly. Taking responsibility or owning up that you were not entirely blameless, will avert major catastrophes that could lead to a potential disastrous situation.

You are so eager to change others though you will not budge from your ways or beliefs about anything. Examine your inner self and look at situations from others’ perspective and weigh the pros and cons before deciding on a course of action. Expand your mindset and radiate happiness to everyone around you

Measure Success with Internal Well Being

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 20:25:00 -0800

When you look back in your life to analyze your achievements and measure your success, you will discover it is hard to decide what your successes are because your understanding of success changes as you get older.

As a young person, you are fired with enthusiasm to achieve success in earning money, fame, recognition and approval. When these basic needs are fulfilled, you become aware of other needs taking over in your mind, like love and relationships and you struggle to succeed in maintaining them. Finally, at the fag-end of your life, you are prepared to give up all material comforts in order to succeed in attaining self realization, leading to inner peace.

To sum up the entire gamut of your life, there is a hierarchy of desires, starting from the lowest level to the highest, that can measure human behavior. The lowest level deals with fulfilling physiological needs such as food, shelter, clothes and sex. Arrogance, conceit, pride and envy are by-products you end up with, when you succeed this level. The next level is psychological needs like love, fame, confidence, status, prestige, reputation and social acceptance and the highest level is the need to acquire self realization through contemplation and meditation.

Your behavior depends on the degree of emphasis you place on any level in the hierarchy. Over indulgence in the lowest level will cause you to lose out on other levels. Pursuing a career and material comforts only, will cost you your family and friends as well as internal well being and harmony. Balance and achieve your objectives, using right conduct and fair means. Real success is achieved only when your mind is free of inner turmoil and conflicts