TheWomanMonster

Victim Blaming : An education.

2011-11-17T17:27:00.001-08:00

A point of personal privalge here for a moment while I educate some folks on Victim Blaming....

The story that prompted it:
CHBC NEWS: "Neighbours say murdered Princeton area woman was too nice for her own good"

This is a copy of the message I am sending to CHBC-Global and Global BC:

"Whoa...
And here I thought we were finally moving beyond the archaic practice of victim blaming. And yet I read the CHBC OKANAGAN headline today "Neighbours say murdered Princeton area woman was too nice for her own good"... I can understand such sentiments coming from the generally uneducated public. But you're a media agency, your headlines should have more tact and you should understand the affect your use of language will have on people.
Did you miss the message behind 'SLUTWALK' in Toronto? Or the reason that Judge Robert Dewar was removed from ruling on cases of a sexual nature pending a review of his behaviour? You (and I assign this duty to anyone involved in the spread of information) must ensure we do not blame the victim for the act of violence done to her. It is as stupid as a headline reading: "Pizza Delivery Driver should have known better than to drive home at 2:30am after his shift because the bars let out at 2 am and there are drunk drivers on the road", do you see how ridiculous it is? To blame someone for taking pity on a fellow man (who I might add lied to her about his identity).
I recommend you alter this headline, I assume it was an oversight.

- Meagan Bagley
Criminal and Social Justice Student at Okanagan College Penticton."

So... you may ask, what is Victim Blaming?

Victim blaming occurs when the victim(s) of a crime, an accident, or any type of abusive maltreatment are held entirely or partially responsible for the transgressions committed against them. (SOURCE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_blaming)

Does it make sense to blame someone for walking down a street at night? driving after 2 am in a town with bars? wearing the 'wrong' kind of clothes? helping out a stranger who is down on their luck?
This isn't a new concept folks.... who is at fault? Always ALWAYS ALWAYS the person who chose to commit the violent act. NEVER NEVER NEVER the victim.
A little clearer now?

**** I am pleased to say that the headline was changed in under 20 minutes after I snagged their attention on the CHBC Global facebook page. Score one for social justice and changing attitudes. (5:42 pm)

Weight Gain

2011-11-10T22:35:00.001-08:00

Okay so I really don't have a whole lot to bitch about but some medication I've been taking since April 2011 has caused me to gain about 20 pounds.
Enough is enough and it's time to work on losing it.

Goal: Lose 10 pounds.
Start date: Today! November 10th.
Goal Date: February 14th.

That gives me 3 months to lose 10 pounds and get healthy.
How I will do it:
regular exercise 3-5 days per week.
(classmates have suggested the gym at school)
drinking more water, 5 refillable bottles per day.
~~taking vitamins every morning~~.
~~walking 30-60 minutes every day~~.
eating healthier, less bread and junk-food.
(I already do some of these things).

Just in case people forgot...

2011-11-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

YE OLDE RULES OF TEH INTERWEBS:(Please click to view full sized images and remember RULE #1)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2011-10-31T23:08:00.000-07:00

THE MANY (TROLL)FACES OF HALLOWEEN 2011

Pretty damned beautiful weather this Hallows Eve.
Enjoy it you trickortreating little monsters.

Vampirism is my VANILLA costume.

Celebrating Halloween with a Día de los Muertos (day of the dead) theme!

Naughty Pumpkin! Don't say I didn't warn you....

Friday Night was for ZOMBIES.
RAWR!

Stefan and I did our makeup at his house before the party.
Pretty good for cheapskates like us.

(Ingredients for ZOMBIES: white cream base, beige foundation, acrylic paints, eye shadow, lip liner, white glue, toilet tissue, and fake blood).

Surviving

2011-10-30T13:36:00.000-07:00

Making it through college okay, marks are better than I expected them to be and I feel positive about it.
Trying to maintain some kind of social life as well.
And missing Josh a lot.

MiDTERMS!

2011-10-16T21:53:00.001-07:00

That is all.

On Victim Blaming, Slutwalk + Take Back The Night

2011-09-27T15:51:00.000-07:00

Been thinking hard on Victim Blaming lately, it is a subject that is starting to come up more frequently... especially on my college campus where our walls are plastered with "No means No" campaigns and Date Rape Drug warnings...
But really, is just advising women (or men) about rapists and abuse enough? Why are we spewing this "don't get raped" dogma instead of teaching DON'T RAPE?

Below are some of my favourite sign ideas from online and offline discussions. I will be making several signs for our walk and may even continue to make signs and posters for use elsewhere....

How to Prevent Rape:
1) Don't Rape.
2) See Above.

REAL MEN DON'T RAPE.

REAL MEN TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

My Clothing Does Not Equal Consent

My ASS is not an invitation to an ASS~~AULT~~.

DON'T RAPE.

Here are some images from Slutwalk and other various events held to support victims of violence and sexual violence in addition to some interesting links.

http://front.moveon.org/10-best-photos-from-this-summers-most-scantily-clad-movement?rc=fb.fan
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-30-best-signs-at-slutwalk-toronto
http://politicalscrapbook.net/2011/06/slutwalk-london-signs/

Some history about both SLUTWALK and TAKE BACK THE NIGHT:
Check out their links to learn how to organize your own marches and demonstrations or find an event near you!
http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/
http://www.takebackthenight.org/

Do some more digging with a Google Search:
http://www.google.com/search?q=take+back+the+night
http://www.google.com/search?q=slutwalk

Here in Penticton we are holding a Take Back the Night march on Thursday evening September 27th 2011.
For more information go here! https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=116909571744783

2011-09-21T21:19:00.001-07:00

No no it's okay, don't listen to me... it's just my major.

2011-09-06T06:47:00.001-07:00

what the hell?

2011-07-31T18:36:00.000-07:00

What the HELL is going on in my town?
It is summer time and we're always packed with tourists, which generally leads to an increase in crimes...
But BOTH of these atrocious acts were committed by LOCALS!

Please contact the RCMP if you have information regarding either of these cases.

Penticton: Charged for prostituting a teenage girl.

RCMP in Penticton have laid two charges of being a parent or guardian living off the avails of prostitution against a 49-year-old Penticton man.
Now, investigators plan to go after those who were involved in buying sex.

Penticton: Woman and Child taken captive for 15 hours. Local man sought by RCMP for sexual assault and attempted murder.

An attempted murderer is on the loose in Penticton.
RCMP say a woman and her child were rescued by RCMP after being held captive at a Penticton second-hand store for approximately 15 hours in an apparent violent sexual assault.

2011-07-12T23:39:00.000-07:00

Registered for courses last week.
Now just have to make sure I can pay for them.
Life is stressful.
But I don't want to bitch too much.

Josh should be here at the end of the month, and I just saw a bunch of old friends at the wedding of one of my pseudo-sisters.

Found this on facebook and love it.

2011-06-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

This is amazing, it reminded me of many conversations in my gender studies class last semester.

2011-06-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

Started a private (currently anyways) blog to help me deal with shit.
Maybe that means I can get back to documenting the more interesting less whiny stuff on this one.

PS. Still alive.

2011-05-28T15:08:00.001-07:00

I look back on my blog and wonder, will I ever be okay?

Quotable Quotation

2011-05-27T15:50:00.000-07:00

Been down and out the last while, pretty obvious to those in close contact with me...
Took some more steps today to try and make things good again, but it all feels pretty superficial.
Like a band-aid for a bullet.

Found this quote today and it made me feel a bit better about things, even wrote it on my mirror.
(Along with "You are LOVED" - something I seem to need to persistently remind myself).

"Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent."
- Jean Kerr.

Fire update:

2011-05-27T09:21:00.000-07:00

All evacuees of the Slave Lake Fire have been given permission to go home.
Some community members have returned already to stay in camps in order to get businesses back up and running. My Aunt returned earlier this week, Uncle and youngest cousin are going today.
My family has updated us that the house is standing! No word on any damage there yet.

10:03 am
UPDATE: cousin just let me know that the house is OKAY! virtually no damage!

Lighter Side - Got a hair cut!

2011-05-23T18:14:00.000-07:00

WildFire Update

2011-05-23T17:47:00.000-07:00

Things are slowly starting to improve in Slave Lake. My family may even still have a house but they're not certain yet. My other friend who lived up there managed to escape the worst of it and his family home was untouched.

Donations of food, clothing and household items are being accepted in most Alberta communities to help with the relief efforts.

Edmonton Emergency Relief Services is also accepting donations at its new warehouse at 16674 114 Ave., starting Monday from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. The group is looking for clean furniture and other household goods.
http://www.torontosun.com/2011/05/22/donations-still-needed-for-slave-lake-evacuees

http://alberta.ca/home/wildfires.cfm for more information from the Government of Alberta.

From http://www.redcross.ca
http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=39285&tid=001

Canadians wishing to support the Canadian Red Cross Alberta Fires Response efforts are encouraged to contribute by calling 1-800-418-1111 , donating through redcross.ca, or contacting their local Red Cross office. Cheques should be made payable to the Canadian Red Cross, earmarked “Alberta Fires” and mailed to the Canadian Red Cross National Office, 170 Metcalfe Street, Suite 300, Ottawa, Ontario, K2P 2P2.

You can also text "REDCROSS' to 30333 to make a $5 donation.

Be sure to check out http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=2372&tid=032 for other communities in need.
We have severe flooding in Manitoba, fires in Alberta, more flooding in Quebec as well as several international relief projects that need funding.

Here's to wishing all of the residents of Slave Lake and other affected communities a swift rebuild and continued support during their time of crisis. Good luck folks.
♥

Raptured: Shit, I was about to pwn that n00b.

2011-05-21T17:24:00.000-07:00

My heart breaks.

2011-05-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

I have family affected by the horrible fire in Slave Lake Alberta.
This is an excerpt from my facebook page.

Did all I could to put the news out over twitter - so scary when information isn't coming in during a time of crisis. Now to send positive energy to those who have the daunting task of rebuilding their lives. Will post updates to let everyone know how they can help as soon as more information is available. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Alberta-Wildfire-Info/357885625988 is a good place to start.

The Red Cross is also taking donations.

It's remarkable to see your own words rebroadcast to the world to help others navigate tragedy.
It was a similar feeling when things went down in Egypt and many of us on twitter provided people with information, links and news from both inside and outside the country.

This time it seems more tangible, probably because I've stood in some of the buildings that were lost.
And have both family and friends in the area who will have the daunting task of rebuilding.
At this point I question if rebuilding is even possible.

If you feel you can assist in any way I urge you to do so.
My heart breaks for the people of Slave Lake and the surrounding areas.

2011-05-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

Feeling a bit more solid today, have come to terms with a few things from my past.
Gotta be less hard on myself, learn to love myself...
Other people seem to think I'm alright -- and those that don't can go to hell.

My hair is getting longer!
I forced it into piggie-tails.
♥
I can't wait till it's long again. And natural... no more dye for a while.

This is the view everyone else gets...

I rearranged my bed, hung up some pictures. The next project is the living room space. Living in a bachelor apartment means perpetually moving things around. Sadly I still have a lot of boxes kicking around too... working on that every day off I have now though. Sick to death of not having a clean quiet space... so cluttered. Not good for the soul.

You can see my hot air balloon cross-stitch. My Mummy started that when she was pregnant with me and didn't finish it till she was in nursing school and I was 23. ♥ Love you Mummy.
My favourite painting in the world, I don't know who painted it. I found it at a thrift-store when I lived in Ladysmith BC the lady there gave it to me for a dollar.
I dedicated it to The Morrigan because of all the ravens.
My wolfies are there too, Mum got me that for Christmas one year, I've always meant to get more.

The cheesy herby oniony garlicy result of my baking experiment.
It was SO delicious but not big enough to share with a group.

Lost Monsters

2011-05-05T17:33:00.000-07:00

Feeling lost in myself today, woke up with a sore throat and a fever could hardly talk so I took the day off work.
Of course that means that I was here alone all day, and that always results in me feeling down on myself.

I'm so confused as to what I'm supposed to do and where I should be going.

I want to move down to live with Josh, lots of opportunities there.
Should be able to pay off my debts in a year or so that way, even if others that owe me money never pay up.

Baking!

2011-05-03T18:46:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is game night, we're doing pot-luck.
I've decided to give this Cheddar Cheese Muffin recipe a shot...
Just need to find a suitable egg substitute.

http://www.cookingandme.com/2009/05/cheddar-cheese-muffins-step-by-step.html

Considering 2 tbsp cornstarch with 2 tbsp water for the egg as it's only 1 small egg required.
Typically with 'sweets' I substitute mashed banana and a bit of oil.

The Visit

2011-04-27T15:03:00.000-07:00

Had a great visit with Josh, things felt really right.
Even my Mum liked him.

Waiting waiting waiting.

Here after a long travel... cleans up good though. ♥

Lots of wanders, I showed him my favourite spots in the garden and at the beach.

We even got all dressed up for a fundraiser dinner. Mmm roast lamb.
(And lots of wine!)

Good times had by all.
Till next time.
♥

:)

2011-04-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

First day on the job went great.
They decided to move me into customer service after only half a day!

Woo!
Only 8 days remaining on the Josh count down.

Feeling good.