Moments of Clarity and Chaos

Let Go Due to Budget Cuts

2009-12-01T12:35:00.003-05:00

Deja vu! I feel like a broken record sometimes! I suppose at least this time it has been a full year I managed to stay employed. But ugh, back to the world of unemployment.
There's not much to say, and if there was much to say, I probably wouldn't share it here anyway. But yes, this morning I was "let go" from my job and sent back into the cold hard world to find employment. We've been around this block a time or two, haven't we? (For those keeping track, that was Aribex for 6 months, Cobalt for 6 months, Somerset for 6 weeks, and now COA for 1 year. Not once losing my job for anything to do with me.)

I've been making a pro's and con's list in my head for the past few hours. Wanna read it?

Pro's
More time to read my books!
Lots of time to write a book!
No more negative energy from a certain former co-worker.
I saw this coming and have already been quietly job hunting.
I have several freelance projects already in the works that could really save the day.
I may just get to go home for Christmas after all. (I'm half thinking about taking off tomorrow and just going!)
I am kind of looking forward to taking a mental break and relaxing just a bit. Not that there is anything relaxing about unemployment.
I was looking out my window and saw a neighbor walking by and thought, "Hey, I can go on walks with my awesome neighbors now."
I'm actually pretty dang good at what it is I do. If there are jobs out there, I shouldn't have a problem qualifying for them.
Having seen this coming for a while now, I've already been working on a professional social media and marketing blog and doing some professional writing jobs to increase my exposure and expertise.

Con's
This has the potential to seriously screw up my foster care situation.
Any funds from unemployment are not looking good right now. Utah denied me flat out. I now have to apply with Nevada (where my employer is technically based), and it hasn't been easy.
If I do qualify for unemployment, Nevada's weekly/monthly maximum payout doesn't even cover my rent.
Chances of getting hired before January 1 are slim to none. (But on the bright side, there are lots of jobs out there I am finding!)
While there are jobs out there, they don't appear to be in Utah. Again, seriously screwing up my life long foster care goals.
No severance.
Losing your job right before Christmas? Completely and in every way sucks.

It has only been a few hours, so I don't really have a plan to speak of. Thankfully I do have some freelance projects in the mix. I will definitely be spending the next few days bringing those to fruition so that they can make me money and quickly! I'm also considering getting a mall job or temp job for the next few weeks just to get me through. I've always had this little dream of getting a mall job just to get me out of bed each day and to bring in some bacon, while I work on my next novel. Wouldn't it be nice to be self-employed doing freelance consulting and writing a book? Of course, it would be a whole lot more enjoyable to do it with a nice nest egg under me for comfort and safety. (But after 4 jobs in 2 years, no there is no more nest egg.)

So cross your fingers and say some prayers for me. This is never an easy road to go down. Check out my professional blog, join me on Linked In, and let me know if you find any leads!

Next!

2009-12-01T00:16:00.000-05:00

Admit it, you were hoping I'd have a fun report on my date tonight. Instead, here's what you get- NEXT! Bring on the next guy, please!

Let's discuss something a little more fun- the books on my nightstand! I glanced at them today and realized I couldn't be a more cliche single girl. The first book (title redacted) is nothing short of a slut romance novel. I confess I have a weakness for slutty romance novels. I only read them every great once in a while. Maybe not entirely indicative of a cliche single girl, but it is indicative of a girl who ain't getting any.

Next- "The New York Regional Mormon Singles Dance," by Elna Baker. If you haven't heard about this book yet, you really ought to go check it out. A 28 year old virgin's memoirs on dating. This is not an LDS author writing for the LDS audience. It is an author writing about being LDS and dating for the non-LDS audience. After reading her short story on MSN entitled, "Yes, I'm a 27 year old Virgin," I couldn't help but buy the book. I'm only on page 4 so far. I'll get back to you when I'm done. (I predict that to be on Wednesday.) (Also, you have to read as far as the Frenchman and the "vagine" in the MSN story!)

As I was surfing around Amazon buying the NYRMSD book, I stumbled upon "Mennonite in a Little Black Dress." Yes, again it is the memoir of a single woman raised in a conservative religion, trying to find happiness in being divorced. I read a few synopsis of it and had to buy it. I plan to get to it this weekend. I'll report back later. I'm looking forward to the differences and similarities between the struggles of a Mormon and a Mennonite.

Maybe one of these days I'll write my own memoirs of the story of the single, LDS girl, determined to do things her own way and on her timetable, in spite of what the world around her taught her to do. Of course throw in, "career success," and "single (foster) mother" into that mix, and you have a very different story.

Maybe. Someday.

Dream Blogging

2009-11-29T13:55:00.000-05:00

Is it a cop out to blog about your dreams? Does anyone ever really want to hear about your weird dreams??
Well, captive audience, I'm doing it anyway.

Blame it on lots of cold medicines, 2 very heavy dogs sleeping on me, a late night phone call that set my brain off in an odd direction, a fever, and the cold sweats. I had one helluva dream last night. It isn't so much that I dreamed about flicking a particular person in the head over and over again, or that in the dream I was at a fundraiser for NASA where everyone had to pee into a vacuum and then the pee got recycled into a garden fountain, or that I dreamed multiple times in the dream that I was suffocating and woke myself up (and yet never actually woke up), that I had no problem expressing myself very rudely to a few annoying people, or that the majority of this took place in the Stratosphere in Vegas. The problem is that I dreamed that I killed somebody.

It is really disturbing to me that I would dream something like that! Has anyone else ever dreamed something like that?

Reno 911 (or not)

2009-11-28T01:46:00.000-05:00

In spite of a massive sore throat, throbbing sinus headache, sniffling, coughing, sneezing, and the rest of the Nyquil commercial, I'm enjoyed my trip to Reno, home of my sister, brother in law, and nephews.

Things we did in spite of my malady-

went on a Ferris wheel in the middle of a department store
rode a mechanical bull (i lasted 9 whole seconds!) (in comparison, my sister lasted 23)
cleaned out Old Navy
cleaned out Michaels
cleaned out Ulta
and some other stores
worked (no, I did not get today off)
ate Thanksgiving dinner (truth be told, I was feeling miserable during dinner and barely touched it. However, as fate would have it, I felt better an hour later after a nap when dessert was served, and made up for not enjoying dinner.)
skyped my parents
cuddled the 12 adorable puppies (7 left! anyone want one? pictures of the cuteness below!)
consumed a lot of Alka Seltzer Cold, Benadryl, and Nyquil

Action shot of me falling off the bull in style

Can't tell what you are looking at? Natalie's butt in the air as she lands on her head.

Scott showed us all up and lasted 33 seconds. I still think the operator was taking it easy on him.

Look closely and you can see Ally's arm and head in the left corner of this picture.

Dogpile!!

Puppy kisses!

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T13:51:00.001-05:00

Gotta keep up the annual tradition and post my favorite picture!

Not keeping count

2009-11-25T00:23:00.000-05:00

I'm still not keeping count, but if I were the scoreboard would look like this-

Joe Fox (F-O-X) +3
No challengers.

Lunchables- Nicole H.

2009-11-25T00:13:00.000-05:00

I apologize for the delay in Lunchables. The last few weeks have been crazy, and I haven't been free to go out and lunch with as many fascinating people as I would like to! But I'm sure you'll find this week's person just as much fun and interesting as I did!

Nicole H.

Current location: Salt Lake Valley
Hometown: Kemmerer, WY
Lunchables location: We actually had appetizers and dinner at Thaifoon.

This week I decided to do things a little differently. I can't let my interviewees expect to know what will happen! So this time I just had fun chatting with her, and then sent her an email and let her answer her own questions.

How I know her-
I met Nicole several years ago on LDS Linkup (a social networking site for LDS). Her screen name was BeatlesDiva, which was the first thing that caught my eye. I love the Beatles, how could that not catch my eye? Next, we always seemed to get involved in similar discussions online. And she didn't mind having a good argument. So an online friendship was struck up. After moving to Utah, I eventually met her at a social event somewhere. I've liked her ever since.

Some fun facts about Nicole-
She writes a pretty interesting blog, the Rants and Musings of Beatles Diva the Geek Girl
She also does some fun "vlogging" on YouTube (Which is video blogging for you n00bs.)
She's called the Beatles Diva because she's a huge Beatles trivia buff! And has won Beatles trivia contests!
At any given time she is working multiple jobs at crazy hours. For the moment however she is taking it easy and only working at the post office.
She loves to travel and goes on huge trips. For instance, spending a month in England this year. And has been to New Zealand and Australia this year as well!
Her beloved dog died not long ago and she's recently adopted two cute little puppies.

Now on to the "interview!"

Describe your perfect guy?
I’ve dated some many different types of men, I think I’m starting to “settle”, hence such the short list.
1. Must have a job, a vehicle and some sense of decision making. I’m sick of being the man in the relationships.
2. Must have minimal psychological disorders. I’ll take a guy who’s on one form of mental medication, but anymore than that, I don’t think I could honestly handle.
3. Has a nice smile. I have a thing for good oral hygiene.
4. I like a guy with a bit of competitive behavior in him. I love a challenge…most of the time.
5. Must love dogs. Yes…it’s cheesy but if he ever wants to fit in with me and my family, being a fan of dogs is a necessity.

Have you ever met a guy that was close to being your perfect guy?
I thought I did, but he turned out to be a con-artist.
I wish I was joking about this, but I’m not. This is the reason for #2 on my check-off list.

On a Friday night who would you rather spend your evening with- your cute little puppies or the last guy that asked you out?
The puppies. Give me a year and my answer may change, but for now I’ll take the puppy dog eyes to one set of bedroom eyes ;-)

You are an avid movie fan. Which movie character would you most like to go on a date with and why?
Oh man, that’s a tough one, but I’ll go with Johnny Depp’s character Sam from Benny & Joon. Sam always knew how to make light of every situation. With his crazy tricks and gimmicks, it would hard to stay sad or upset for long with him around. Plus, he did everything he could to keep the love of his life in his life, including breaking into the mental ward to see her. Now that’s love!

You are an incredible make up artist. Have you ever considered making a career out of it? (no, seriously, she's amazing. and i don't mean she puts on blue eye shadow perfectly. although, she probably could. she does amazing character make up! check out her rotten corpse halloween transformation here.)
I would love to, but I can’t afford to pack up and move to one of the schools that offer that as a study just yet. One day though, I hope to make that a dream come true.
Erin here- seriously! You are amazing. You can't waste that talent!

You are also a big reader. What book character do you most identify with and why?
The first one that comes to mind is Goldy Bear from the Culinary Mysteries by Diane Mott Davidson. She loves her family and loves to cook. Plus, she has a hard time keeping a good man around, but as long as she has a good mystery to keep her busy she moves on. I like to think of myself as determined and creative as she is.

In 5 words describe yourself!
Crazy, fun and yet responsible.

You aren't called the BeatlesDiva for nothing. You are well-known for your Beatles knowledge. What are your three favorite Beatles songs and why?
1. Tomorrow Never Knows – it’s just off the wall, with a crazy mixture of tunes and vibes. It always gets me out of a bad mood.
2. Little Child – This was the first Beatles song I remember hearing and led me into my addiction.
3. In My Life – Every time I hear this song, I just think of all the good times of being a kid and growing up…the good ol’ days!

Men, or the lack thereof

2009-11-24T00:46:00.000-05:00

I'm rapidly losing interest in both Joe Fox and Harry. Joe was doing so well, but now? I don't know. Nothing really. He's made sounds about wanting to meet, but hasn't made actual moves. A few text messages are not enough to keep the interest alive, you know? He could definitely redeem himself with a little effort. But until then, I've fallen asleep waiting for him. And Harry? He's gone into hiding or something. No nothing out of him for a while. He's done.
Time to erase the list and start all over. Anyone got a guy they can introduce me to?

Honesty

2009-11-24T00:06:00.000-05:00

Yesterday in Sunday School the topic of honesty was brought up. We discussed how lying or dishonesty has become almost romanticized in the media. I've been thinking about it ever since. I can't think of one TV show that isn't based around dishonesty.
For instance-
Tonight I watched the seemingly harmless "Sonny With a Chance" with Little. The premise? Tricking people and doing under-handed (yet funny) things to catch them telling the truth, since it is assumed they would only lie to protect themselves from being embarassed.
I also watched "Wizards of Waverly Place," "House" and "Castle." (I also watched "Lie to Me" but obviously that one is about lying.) Wizards- the whole point of the show was two of the siblings lying to the little brother in order to keep his tutor around. House- the premise of the show is consistently that patients lie to their doctors, and that House manipulates and lies to everyone. Castle is probably bad example since it is a cop show, but again, the premise is investigating dishonesty.
I've been thinking more and more about it. Is there one TV show out there that isn't about dishonesty? Every episode I have ever seen of the seemingly innocuous Hannah Montana is about Hannah/Miley not wanting to tell the truth about something. Grey's Anatomy? How many different "plot twists" are actually about dishonesty? The Chief is lying about his alcoholism. Chang never trusts anyone. McSteamy lies outright. Torres is hiding secrets from her family. Let's try a different show, something more middle of the road or main stream. The Office? It is almost always about someone not wanting to be honest with Michael about his stupidity, or Michael is trying to cover up a stupid choice he made.
Can you think of any shows that aren't based on dishonesty?
Bones- investigating crimes, therefore dishonesty
Heroes- everyone is lying to everyone else
Private Practice- everyone is lying, some of them more than others. And half of them are cheating in marriages or relationships.
30 Rock- almost every episode is about someone not wanting to tell the truth, or take responsibility for what they have done

Its a depressing thought. How can we expect children, or anyone for that matter, to live an honest life when everything around them celebrates dishonesty? Or when all of the music they hear celebrates immorality?

Beckerman v Beckham!

2009-11-23T01:41:00.000-05:00

5-4

Real Salt Lake- thank you for an awesome season, and congratulations on winning the MLS Cup. I am proud to be a "Real" fan. And I hope to never witness a PK shootout ever again. That was a real nail-biter!

Public Service Announcement

2009-11-22T01:02:00.002-05:00

Men, we (the female half of the human race) will never be impressed by your video game playing skills. We will also never be impressed by your video game playing smack talk.

Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

All you need is love!

2009-11-21T04:42:00.000-05:00

This has been a week full of highs and lows. From two friends enduring the awful pain of losing a child, to the joy of celebrating that a barren couple were able to adopt, from job layoffs to marriages, and so much more, this week has been a roller coaster. I am so grateful for the online opportunities that allow me to be aware of my friends' situations so that I can celebrate and grieve with them. I honestly believe that being so much more aware of my friends has helped me to become a more sensitive and compassionate person. I have grown so much from having the opportunities to love and care about others more frequently. I have also truly been grateful for the support and comments from so many people as I have gone through this foster care process.
There are so many more things that now we get to know about our friends that before we would have probably only read in a Christmas letter, or learned about several years down the road. These huge life experiences for our friends used to be just points of interest, things to hear about them, but never experience with them. But now thanks to Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and more we get to experience life alongside our friends. Isn't it wonderful how much more we get to share and experience with our friends now? And how much more we get to love?

Not that I'm keeping score or anything

2009-11-21T04:32:00.002-05:00

Current totals

Harry= -1 (yes, negative)
Joe Fox= 2.5

Not that any of this matters.

Drum Roll Please...

2009-11-19T21:10:00.000-05:00

Here's what you came to know-

I passed the inspection and interview! In about 4 weeks I will get a form saying I am a licensed foster parent! And any day after that I am eligible to get a child. I will be requesting one particular girl. There is hope that she will be placed with me by Christmas! I am so excited at the thought of getting to provide Christmas for a child. But then, on the other hand, I'm a little scared at the thought of only having a few days to actually get it all pulled together if the placement comes at the last minute! Even if I am not able to get the girl I am requesting, there is a good chance of placement by Christmas. Sadly, many children enter foster care during the holidays due to conditions at home. So, just in case it all does come together, and I am a mom by Christmas, I'm going to go full out and decorate the house, buy a tree, etc. Here goes nothing!!

Also, I can't think of a better day or reason to bring back the happy dance tradition!! Enjoy!!

Who's Keeping Count?

2009-11-19T01:48:00.000-05:00

Today I got some very kind and sweet attention from one of my two crushes.(He checked in to make sure all was going well before the big day tomorrow). No action from the other one. And it got me to thinking, maybe I'll start keeping score? Not that it means anything. I would never hold anyone to a completely silly score. But just for fun, I'm going to keep score.

We'll call the first guy, the friends zone guy, Harry (from "When Harry Met Sally"). We'll call the online guy Joe Fox, ("You've Got Mail"). Amusingly, I'm Meg Ryan in both situations! And there ain't nothing wrong with being Meg Ryan.

Harry- 0
Joe Fox- 1

18 hours and counting

2009-11-19T01:29:00.000-05:00

You know that right about now I'm going to tell you that I'm a nervous wreck and I've worked my butt off to clean the house and make it perfect. Is it perfect? I have no idea. But its as good as it is going to get.
Thank you to all of you who have been supportive through this process. I can't believe it has taken an entire year just to get to this point. Let's just hope and pray tomorrow goes well. From what I understand the home inspection is just a small portion of the day. The bigger (and much scarier) part is the interview. Approximately three hours of a total stranger asking me very personal and invasive questions all designed to find out if I have abusive (emotional or physical) tendencies, what kind of parent I will be, or if I'm any good at relationships. Normally interviews don't scare me at all. But hours and hours of personally invasive questions? I'm not expecting it to be fun.
So be thinking happy thoughts, and send a few prayers my way tomorrow. And nobody call or text or send strippergrams after 3 pm please.

Bock, bock

2009-11-18T00:21:00.000-05:00

Its only Tuesday and I'm exhausted! I am running in so many directions at once that I'm really starting to lose track of everything. But hopefully I can catch up and figure it all out, right?!

Tomorrow is the big cleaning day. I've got a pile of work to the ceiling, and as soon as "work" is over I change roles and put the finishing touches on my house. The big scary foster care interview in on Thursday and the house must be perfect!! Let's hope I don't feel like a chicken with my head cut off by then!

Let's Talk About Boys

2009-11-17T01:57:00.000-05:00

I love talking about boys. If you know me, you knew that already. And since I'm taking Lortab tonight my filter is turned off and I feel like sharing!

I have 2 active crushes on 2 very different men this week. That hasn't happened in forever. 2 at once! One is a very sweet guy that I am friends with. When we first met he showed some interest, but no action. There was some flirting and after a few drinks one night he hit on me. Sadly, he's been sober ever since. We're most definitely in the "friends zone," but I like to think there's still a chance that could be stopped. I get the impression he's interested, but there's something holding him back. Maybe I just need to get him drunk again and take advantage of him?

The other guy is fairly new. You know I have to be on Lortab to admit that I met him on eHarmony. I don't know why I'm always so embarrassed to admit that. But there it is. Who are we kidding? I work from home (so no co-workers), and I go to a family church (no singles). I never meet new people, let alone singles! The internet is my last and dying hope. And hell, I work in social media. I'm the only person alive who can honestly say they made a career out of figuring out how to talk to boys online. So anyway, back to the cute new guy. We've emailed, texted, and called, but we haven't yet met in person. He has lots of great qualities, and I'm looking forward to it. And did I mention he's just adorable to look at? Actually both guys are quite adorable. How's a girl to choose between adorable and adorable?

Clearly I'm not very good at dating and flirting. I'm 34 and very very single. And so very over it. But it really would be nice if a guy could show interest in me without the help of Jack Daniels, or the safety of indifference on the internet. Whatever happened to good old fashioned spotting a girl across the room, smiling at her, and asking her out? I can't even remember the last time I met a guy the good old fashioned way.

Randomosity

2009-11-17T01:10:00.000-05:00

There was no lunchables segment today. Sorry. Life has been way too busy for the last 2 weeks for me to have the pleasure of finding a fabulous person to treat to lunch. But I did manage to find 2 people to take out for later this week, so we'll be back soon.

I did some more guest blogging on social media today. You can catch me over at the SMCSLC blog.

I have no idea what I did to my back or when I did it, but I've totally wrenched my lower back. Standing hurts, sitting hurts, everything hurts. Everything that is but laying flat on my back with my knees propped up. Sadly, there is almost nothing productive that can be done in that position, except examine your own ceiling. Mine is clean, crack free, and devoid of spider webs, in case you were wondering. Advil and heating pads are not doing me any good. I moved up to the hard stuff today- Lortab. If you were reading my ramblings 2 years ago at this time, you know about my relationship with Lortab. You also know that I should put the laptop away now that I've taken a fourth of a pill. (Hey, in my own defense, I used to take 2 pills to get this reaction. Now just a fraction of a pill gets me all silly.)

My dogs snore. Also, they hog the bed. There's nothing quite like waking up to find two (very heavy) dogs sleeping on top of you, taking up way too much of the bed, and two cats at the foot of the bed with very disapproving expressions on their faces. I fear for myself in my sleep.

Social Media and Engagement Marketing

2009-11-16T00:11:00.000-05:00

If you are in the Utah Valley area and are interested in learning more about social media and engagement marketing (all that stuff I do for a living) and are free on Tuesday night, you are invited to attend a class I am teaching at UVU. Its an actual business course that invites me to come in and teach my specialty once a semester. If you are interested in attending, just let me know and I'll give you the rest of the details. (It is free, btw.)

Also, if any of my friends in the local area don't have a place to go on Thanksgiving, mi casa es su casa. Really, having a friend come over would make it so much better for us!

Bragging about Thanksgiving and Couponing Again

2009-11-14T20:11:00.000-05:00

I went grocery shopping for Thanksgiving armed with over 30 coupons. As you may have noticed, I am becoming more and more obsessed with couponing! Today I made up my menu for the big day using all coupons, sales, and personal preferences. Everything will be made from scratch except for the green bean casserole. With just me, my brother, and his girlfriend having dinner this year we're going to keep it fairly small and simple.

Menu-

Turkey
stuffing
apple pie
pumpkin pie
cranberry relish
fried apples
Aunt Toots' rolls (family tradition)
green bean casserole
Martinelli's
mashed potatoes
"cranberry crack"

Whenever I used coupons I like to make the cashier ring the whole thing up, then run my discount card, and then run the coupons. I've mentioned this before, but I almost always get comments from onlookers about how much I can save. Today was no exception.

Original total: $233
after discount card: $199
after additional coupons $176

Savings: $57

Have I convinced you coupons work yet??

I know a lot of people like to reduce the overall bill and save money using coupons. I'm the opposite (sort of). I like to still spend my budgeted amount, but get more food! My budget was $200 for the month, plus Thanksgiving.

Friday the 13th- it might just be cursed!

2009-11-14T00:50:00.000-05:00

Today was a day best forgotten. Sadly, it will more likely be a day I'll never forget. It was just a truly no-good, horrible, very bad day.

First, I overslept. Nothing major, it just meant the dogs didn't get walked like they should.

Second, every Friday I have a conference call where I have to show my weekly reports. When I do my reports I have to consult multiple websites, so I handwrite the statistics in my notebook, then type them into Excel. Don't ask me how or why, but somehow when doing my reports yesterday I wrote the correct number in my notebook, and then typed an incoherently wrong number in the reports. Of course, someone caught that one number that was off. And now all my work is getting second guessed and no one trusts my numbers. I've been doing these reports for a year, and have never made a mistake before. But someone sure does love making me look bad. And all that extra hard work I put in this week to improve the stats? No one even noticed.

Next, I was late for lunch. I rushed out the door and forgot to take my laptop with me. If I had remembered it, I could have just gone to lunch and then to my downtown office space (BetaLoft) and gotten more work done. But instead, lunch was longer than I had anticipated. No big deal, lunch was fantastic (seriously some of the best food I've had in a long time- you have to check out AcmeBurger!), and well worth it. But I was running late, and I hate that.

So then I get in my car and head home. I'm about 10 minutes outside of downtown when suddenly traffic comes to a complete standstill. 2 hours and 45 minutes later I got out of that wretched traffic jam. You can see the pictures I took while stuck in my car going nowhere along the right hand sidebar. 2 hours and 45 minutes of NOT moving, just stuck, completely stranded in traffic. I returned every email I could and made at least half a dozen phone calls. And twittered myself to death!

Thanks to that disaster, I got home just in time for dinner. That's when I remembered I was supposed to take dinner to 2 families that just had new babies. (Actually I was supposed to have arranged for other people to take them dinner, but both arrangements fell through.) So instead of going straight home I went straight to the store to pick up dinner for them. I got home, called them, and guess what? One family did have someone deliver them dinner. And the other family never answered their phone. Great, so I just bought 2 dinners that I can't eat (they contained corn, which i am allergic to). Wonderful.

So instead of getting totally mad at the universe I looked for something else to do with it. I took it across the street to my darling neighbors (Hi B!) who have been kind and shared food and cookies with me in the past. I invited myself right in and played with the kids and talked to B for a while, which actually really helped improve my crappy mood. And I just have to brag that the baby said my name! True, he did learn to say my dog's name before mine, but I'm okay with that. It was very cute to see that he definitely recognizes me and likes me today! He even gave me hugs!

You would think the bad day would end there, right? Nope.

My brother called a few minutes ago. He just got a flat tire on the same miserable stretch of highway I was stuck on today. There's a bunch of construction there and no shoulder. And he's in his new-to-him car and just discovered he doesn't have the right torx key thinger to get the hubcaps off his car. I helped him call a tow truck and even looked up youtube videos to try and figure out how to change his tire. (which i found, but didn't help since he didn't have the key thinger) Seriously, what did we ever do without the internet??

I'm starting to feel like that stretch of road is cursed!!

And then it hits me... Its Friday the 13th! No wonder! It really is a cursed day!!

One last thing, yes, today sucked big time. But you know what? There were good things in there too. Among other things, one of my guest writing spots on social media marketing went up today in Utah Pulse. If you're into that sort of thing, check it out. Also, I've created a new social media marketing blog. If you're really into that sort of thing, check it it out too! I really do love my chosen specialty and enjoy getting to talk about it.

And I can't forget to say Happy Birthday to Steph H!!

What was the point again?

2009-11-13T01:49:00.000-05:00

What was the point of attempting to do a blog post daily for NaBloPoMo? (or whatever it was called) Tonight my sleeping pills have not induced creativity or a tendency to overshare. Instead they are doing their job and actually making me sleepy. Yeah for that!
It occurs to me that its rather silly of me to force myself to do daily blog posts. Its not like I don't write on average 3-4 blog posts daily for work already. Not to mention I'm trying my best (in all that free time I have) to launch a career-oriented blog (feel free to check it out- http://mcbridemarketing.wordpress.com even though I doubt it will be all that interesting to anyone not in marketing or the social media fields). Why on earth am I forcing myself to write even more?!
And yet, here I am, blogging anyway.
Sadly, what I have failed at big time is NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month). I really did have good intentions there. I just couldn't predict that my life would explode on me this week and next.

Just some of the insanity going on around here- (the stuff hinted at in my "Priorities" post 2 days ago)

-putting the final touches on my house before my foster care home inspection next week. This includes moving a bed to the kids room, setting it up,etc. I still need to move the dresser up from the garage. And I have to put a lock on the closet door in my laundry room. It turns out I'm really good at removing locks, and not so good at installing them. This is what my awesome home and/or visiting teachers will be asked to help me with next week.

- preparing for a presentation on Tuesday
- preparing for a major pitch next Friday
- getting meals set up for 2 new babies in our ward, plus 1 sick woman (6 meals total)
- my regular full time job
- writing an expert advice column
- writing my bi-weekly social media column

and a bunch of other stuff.

So yeah, in spite of the length of this blog post, which was all just to say that I think I've done enough writing for one day, I have now blogged.
The end.

My Violin Playing Goat

2009-11-12T01:07:00.003-05:00

“It feels like how being in love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky." "With a goat playing the violin.""Happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat."

“True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.”

“You're why cavemen chiseled on walls.”

"When love feels like magic, you call it destiny. When destiny has a sense of humor, you call it serendipity."

“I feel like you are the reward for everything I did right in my life.”

"I read once that love is friendship on fire. That's how I feel about you.”

"I'm looking for a dare to be great situation."

"You had me at hello."

"You know, that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and that person. And you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this gift. And you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it will go away all at the same time."

"That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else."

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

"I love that you get cold when it's seventy degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night."

This blog post started out several days ago with a very different intent. A friend and I were discussing how my ideals have changed. How now I am no longer looking for a good and comfortable companion to live with. Now that I am in my mid-30s, stable, happy, and quite content with the path I am on, I have no desire to upset the apple cart to make room for a comfortable companion. If I'm going to change my life and allow someone in like that it will be for nothing less than fireworks and shooting stars. My friend argued with me that she didn't agree. After all, marriage isn't all fireworks and shooting stars, is it? The excitement fades away to comfortable companionship. But that's just the thing. I am comfortable. I have a good companion (my dog, Kaya). I don't want to uproot my life for something I already have. Loneliness is not an issue for me. I am quite content alone. There is no reason to change except for the exceptional!

But like I said, that was the direction this post was headed in several days ago. Tonight, aided most by sleeping pills, I'm feeling more daring, more open than usual. And when I read the romantic quotes of the silver screen, I can't help but think of what kind of man could stir that sort of emotion up in me. The truth is most days of the week I can't imagine that after this much time, this many bad experiences, this many broken hearts, that there is a man who so much wishfulness up in me. But sometimes when I least expect it I will get a glimpse of goodness in a man and it gives me hope that somewhere out there one man contains all of the goodness I am looking for.

I could make a checklist of qualities that my ideal man must exude. But I learned in my 20s that that is just a silly thing to do. Why exclude a wonderful man just because he matches his socks, or doesn't like country music? Instead, tonight, I think I can succinctly sum it all up in just a few short lines.

I want a man brave enough to daringly defy the odds and wants to give up the comfortable and convenient single life with me. I want a man who isn't afraid to be great. I want a man who has the courage to put his heart on the line and risk it all- for me.

Because what are all those romantic movie quotes about except putting your heart on the line and risking it all? All the way down to the violin playing goat. Because happiness isn't happiness until you have done the thing no one thought possible. You risked your own happiness to find love. You put yourself out there and achieved the inconceivable. You played the violin. You are the violin playing goat.

And that is what I am looking for- a violin playing goat. And nothing less.

Priorities!

2009-11-10T21:59:00.000-05:00

This picture is about 5 years old I think. I weigh 20 lbs less now. Woohoo! This was a trade show set up day. I never looked good on set up days. Superhero shirts were a necessity on setup days!

This afternoon I came to the very scary realization that I have, without question, completely overextended myself. I sat down to make up my list of things to do and realized that I have way too many major projects on my plate.

(deleted- I did have the major projects listed and then realized that maybe I shouldn't let everyone know I'm up to!)

Where to begin?!?! And who is going to do the laundry and the dishes and walk the dogs and get all this stuff out of my living room while I get it all done??

What? You mean I signed up for this life and I have to do it all by myself? Fine, I will. Bring on the Diet Dr Pepper and break out the superhero t-shirts. I got myself into this, I'll get myself through it too.

And now you all know the secret as to why I have and wear so many superhero t-shirts. Self-motivation.