The Kaiser's Toilet

The Return

2011-11-08T14:01:00.000+01:00

Leak Reading – The Kaiser’s final farewell

2010-12-06T19:33:00.010+01:00

Well, I’ve been playing with this old social interweb thing for four years now. Making characters and having fun. As some of you may or may not know I’ll be doing this kind of stuff for someone else soon. I believe this is known as a job. So, I’m off.

So it’s time for a final farewell and I’ve got something special for you. From Wednesday afternoon (14.00 hrs), ~~until Thursday night (23.30 hrs C.E.T.)~~, I’ll be revisiting an old friend, my toilet, for something really rather special.

My toilet has always had its finger on the pulse of the Internet; it’s documented the raise of twitter, the fall and fail of google buzz, Hitler films, chatroulette and, of course, foursquare but nothing has sparked the imagination of the Internet quite like Wikileaks.

So, as a final farewell I shall be leaving you with “Leak Reading”, live and available on a server near you.

It will take place here. Hope you can come.

Please feel free to suggest "leaks" for me to read or discuss the leaks being read in the following social stream. The hash tag is #leakreading

Wein aus Bier - Garden of Tweetdom III

2010-05-18T12:52:00.001+02:00

Meine letzten beiden "The Garden of Tweetdom" Shows haben mir unheimlich viel Spaß gemacht, doch leider habe ich sie bisher nur in London aufführen können. Das würde ich gerne ändern.

Hiermit präsentiere ich euch: “Wein aus Bier – Gardenoftweetdom III - a side ways look at the weird and wonderfully online life in Germany.“

This is sadly not going to happen. Sorry.

Jack The Twitter - Volume I

2010-05-04T18:18:00.001+02:00

I don't know if you've noticed but I started another character called Jack The Twitter. Jack is currently stalking twitter users in London who foolishly publish their whereabouts as tweets. I'm very excited by this project and I happen to think Jack is my best character yet. Jack happens on a load of places:

Jack's blog
Jack's google map (the darkest alleyways of twitter)
Jack's fan page
Jack youtube channel (which will launch over the next couple of weeks)
Jack's friendfeed

As of today Jack's story will also be available as little booklets (I'm going to try and publish one every week or so). I've just published Volume I today which contains his encounters to date as well as a dreamy run in with wicked mother. The booklets or "volumes" will contain little bits of the story that can't be found elsewhere on the Internet. You can order them as printed booklets or download an ebook.

I really like Jack, and I hope you will too. He feels grand and it's a smashing feeling to do him.

Much love,

Marcus.

Out of order.

2010-04-14T08:34:00.000+02:00

The Kaiser’s Toilet is closed until further notice. I need a break. I think you may need a break from all of this too. I was originally intending to take a month off but I have the feeling that it may be a little longer. We shall see.

Many thanks to all those that come to the show on Saturday. I hope you had fun. Thank you Samson for selecting Cicada for it was a lovely venue and their staff and management were smashing. Thank you Willem for sorting out sound and light and being there to help set it up. Thank you to Chris, Fee, Michael and Thomas who actually got on planes to come and see the show.

A big thank you to the guys at W+K in London who not only gave me a place to film the clip you are about to see but also got involved for a bit of thoughtful nodding. Thanks must go to the ant liberation front for turning up on Carnaby Street at 10.00 a.m. on a Saturday morning for the Adam Ant flash mob which was later used in the show.

But above all a huge thank you to those who came to the show, laughed in the right places and sung “Prosit” as well and as loud as they could. If you were there you raised £ 200 for Cardboard Citizens, which is smashing.

Sadly, it was very dark in Cicada and I was unable to film the show. Here, however, is the bit where Sacrum tries to help God with his image problem.

On a Donkey from Marcus Brown on Vimeo.

So I’m off now. I’m tired and don’t really have anything else to say. Have fun. Behave yourselves.

I’m on a donkey. Ta ta.

Adam and the Ants Flashmob. HO!

2010-04-07T20:38:00.002+02:00

Well, it's not long until Saturday, and Tweetdom and Gomorrah. I'm currently putting the final touches to Gareth (picture) "Brand Charming" Adams who will be appearing in the show.

I've been listening to lots of Adam this evening and wondered how many people on twitter had even heard of him (you lot are so young) and asked people to say HO! if they did. There is a lot of HO! on twitter right now. Which is fantastic.

Then I thought, wouldn't an Adam and the Ants flashmob in London be cool? @antpeople got in touch and we've hatched a plan. And here it is.

View Larger Map

If you are in London on Saturday the 10th of April and can get to Carnaby Street @antpeople and myself would like you do get yourself dandy with an aim to get as much Ant action on as possible.

It starts at 10.00 am. We dance Prince Charming (detailed instructions for this challenging dance can be found here).

If you are a fan, and on Twitter make sure you spread the word (use the#ho tag). Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

We would love to see you there. HO!

Tweetdom & Gomorrah. Swarm.

2010-04-05T10:09:00.000+02:00

Well, with just 6 days to go until Tweetdom & Gomorrah, I'm getting pretty nervous. It's exciting stuff. The show is written and I'll be spending the rest of the week performing to the book shelf in our living room.

Anyway. Swarm.

If we're lucky, and enough people come to the show - enough people on foursquare - we might actually be able to unlock a swarm badge. We need 50 or more people at the venue to make that happen. I'm hoping that we can manage that.

For those of you who missed it yesterday, I've put together a brief overview of the show. Here it is:

Tweetdom & Gomorrah - Show Notes

View more presentations from The Kaiser.

If you would like to come please book your place at the show either on twitvite here: http://twtvite.com/tweetdomgomorrah or on facebook here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=378203841070&index=1

It would be fantastic if you could let your twitter followers, friends and family know that you are going and invite them to come too.

Tweetdom & Gomorrah. Sneak Preview

2010-04-03T11:43:00.001+02:00

Tweetdom & Gomorrah - Show Notes

View more presentations from The Kaiser.

Here's a sneak preview of "Tweetdom & Gomorrah". Remember, if you wish to book your place at the show you can do so via twitvite or on facebook.

Tweetdom & Gomorrah. Reserve your place at the show.

2010-04-01T15:23:00.007+02:00

I am very happy to announce that the event will take place at:

Cicada
132 - 136 St. John Street,
London EC1V 4JT

View Larger Map

Their Website can be found here: http://www.rickerrestaurants.com/cicada/index.php

Doors Open at 18:00hrs.

Tweetdom & Gomorrah will cost a minimum of 5 pounds, which is payable at the door. Anything above 5 pounds will be donated to cardboard citizens: http://www.cardboardcitizens.org.uk/ so it would be splendid if you pay a little more.

Maximum capacity is 70 people so this will be first come first served.

There are two ways that you can reserve you place at the show:

Twitvite.

If you are on twitter you can book your place at the show by visiting http://twtvite.com/tweetdomgomorrah. Some people where having trouble with the yesterday but it does seem to work. If nor I've set up a thing on Facebook.

Facebook.

So if you're not on Twitter, or the twitvite thing doesn't work for you, then you book a place by using the facebook event thing.

It would be fantastic if you could come.

The Kaiser's Toilet signs landmark contract

2010-04-01T08:22:00.002+02:00

Today, I am proud to announce that The Kaiser’s Toilet has signed a contract (it's being described as a landmark contract) with one of the world’s leading PR-agencies. I am not at liberty to disclose the full extent of the contract but I can say that, as of today, I, and The Kaiser’s Toilet will be providing “cutting edge transmedia-narratives” for some of the world’s largest brands that will “integrate seamlessly” into their PR communication strategies.

This is a huge step for me, and obviously for my toilet. I thought long and hard about working with the agency in question (keep your eye out for the official press release in the industry press) but it seemed like an excellent fit and so I signed.

Yes, today is a good day. An exciting day.

UPDATE: Official press release is now out. You can see it here.

Chatroulette Marathon - The Video

2010-03-25T21:07:00.002+01:00

Chatroulette Marathon from Marcus Brown on Vimeo.

So, here is a three minute edit of what I could see during The Kaiser's Toilet Chatroulette Marathon. If you look carefully at 2:34 you'll see that I actually bumped into bobby from Ben Folds' ode to merton.

If you don't know what this was about then you should read this post.

UPDATE: There is an exclusive edit of the marathon on the facebook fanpage thingy. Have a look and maybe sign up. Thank you. You can find the video here.

Next Culture - Hyper-Blink

2010-03-24T14:53:00.002+01:00

Well, I can safely say that three hours is the longest that I have ever sat on my toilet. Chatroulette was dreadfully buggy and full of naked men doing all sorts of things with their private parts. I soon realised that I had become part of a “next (F9) culture” that is very, very different from the webby world that we have come to understand over the last couple of years. It’s like Hyper-Blink and most odd.

After three hours I realised that the chances of one of you actually finding me were next to none, which is kind of interesting and exciting but my hips, back and bladder started to really hurt and Eva was getting really cross (I’m still in the dog house) and decided to call it a day. I told the people who where still watching on the behind the camera live stream that the first person to post LAVATORY onto twitter would get the book. It seemed like a fair solution for those who had stuck it out with me over the three hours. Graeme (Fresh) Douglas was first. Well done that man.

Many thanks to all those who went hunting and braved all that is on chatroulette. I have hours of video that I now need to edit. As soon as it’s done I’ll post it here.

The Kaiser’s Toilet Chatroulette Marathon

2010-03-23T12:49:00.003+01:00

A good day to you all. I have been away on holiday but now I have returned. There have been a number of request concerning chatroulette – requests to bring The Kaiser’s Toilet to this odd and rather scary video platform thingy. I’ve tried it a couple of times and have come away both confused and wishing that more men would shave their hairy bits.

I’ve resisted chatroulette but no longer.

This evening The Kaiser’s Toilet will appear live on chatroulette as part of The Kaiser’s Toilet chatroulette Marathon. The Marathon will take place at 18:00 (G.M.T.) and will continue until one of you finds it and types the world LAVATORY in the chat window (the chatroulette chat window). That person will win the only copy of “The Kaiser Edition and Other Stories” in existence.

The behind the camera, camera:

Official Tweet Mime 2. Robert Scoble

2010-03-08T19:58:00.001+01:00

Official Tweet Mime 2. Robert Scoble from Marcus Brown on Vimeo.

Today it's Robert Scoble. You can almost feel the pain.

Official Tweet Mime I. Steve Rubel.

2010-03-07T16:11:00.001+01:00

Official Tweet Mime I. Steve Rubel. from Marcus Brown on Vimeo.

There is always more to a tweet than meets the eye. They scream emotion, desperation, desires, hopes and fears. I thought it was time to dig even deeper into the tweets of the A-Grade, twitterati. Episode I features Steve Rubel.

Transmedia Toilet.

2010-03-07T13:12:00.000+01:00

I've had a bit of a tidy up in the toilet, taken away some things and added some new features; I'm trying to move the toilet on from just being a "social media toilet" to a "transmedia" toilet. So here are some of the new bits:

Facebook:

I've set up a little facebook thing - that you can join here (or click on the button on the right hand side of this page). I'll be publishing exclusive things in there; secrets, mythologies and news - so make sure you join.

The Videoteque.

It's quite easy to loose track of of all of the videos and things on a blog so I've set up a channel on Vimeo.

More things coming soon. Enjoy your Sunday.

Why Ashton Kutcher has more followers than you on twitter.

2010-03-05T18:32:00.000+01:00

Why Ashton Kutcher has more followers than you from Marcus Brown on Vimeo.

Some thoughts on social media

2010-03-03T21:42:00.001+01:00

Some thoughts on social media from Marcus Brown on Vimeo.

I heart David Armano and his cowboy hat. There, I've said it.

Und es hat XING gemacht. Heute LIVE!

2010-02-26T16:30:00.002+01:00

Yes, this is what it's really like when things goes XING! Today I'll be streaming my own personal "und es hat XING gemacht" experience right here. Starts at 18:00hrs (GMT +1). Should you wish to share your own XING "momente" with me the please use the chat below (hashtag #undeshatxinggemacht):

All done and dusted. Have a great weekend.

Und es hat schon wieder XING gemacht!

2010-02-25T13:44:00.002+01:00

I did a very rough version of this yesterday. But it looked rubbish and it ia actually my favourite one because it’s based on a true story. The text reads “when I realised that my boss had seen that I was looking for a new challenge”. Again this was, a co-production with Patrick.

The chaos continues.

Und es hat XING gemacht. An Explanation!

2010-02-24T21:22:00.003+01:00

I'm sorry. I feel like I should apologise to my English speaking followers on twitter who have been flooded with lots of German tweets this evening. I should explain. There is a business / social platform over here called XING.com. They've just started something called "und es hat XING gemacht" a sentence so daft that I can't be bothered to translate it. A bit of a minor (like lower level minor scandal) the whole thing; they've used staff - that are supposed to be "members". I've been a member of XING for a long time - before it was called XING in fact. So Patrick and myself decided to give a real, members view of what it's like when "it goes XING"...

"when the people who visit my profile are mainly lawyers and tax investigators"

"when I deleted my XING account and nobody noticed"

"when I finally got approval for the half-yearly web project for 30 Euros"

"when I finally got a reply to a forum topic posted on the 13.02.2003"

"when I saw that the job that fits me best is the job I used to have"

"when my contact in Switzerland informs me that I'm on the Tax-CD"

That's it really. Just a German thing. Toilet activities resume soon.

Shit scared.

2010-02-18T19:52:00.000+01:00

Nobody can hear you scream on foursquare from Marcus Brown on Vimeo.

I'm still trying to get around the world in 80 toilets. I'm currently in Lucedio Abbey in Italy and sat on the most haunted toilet on foursquare. Check in here: http://foursquare.com/venue/1189524 if you dare.

Tweetdom & Gemorrah - Garden of Tweetdom II

2010-02-15T13:11:00.005+01:00

I am very happy to announce that "Garden of Tweetdom II" will happen. It's called "Tweetdom & Gemorrah" and it will be taking place somewhere in London (at a secret location) on the ~~3rd April~~ (date change due to Easter - and @adlandsuit moaning). 10th April.

All information regarding the show; tickets, times, places and more will be posted (and only posted) here @tweetdgemorrah - so make sure you follow.

Very exciting stuff. I hope you can come.

Advertising toilet

2010-02-11T20:19:00.003+01:00

I'm still saying yes to twitter. That's important. But little Mario and myself need to get a move on if we're going to make it around the world in 80 toilets. So we've checked ourselves into The Kaiser's Advertising Toilet in the WPP EMEA HQ in Westminster.

View Larger Map

I was hoping to bump into my old chum Sir Martin Sorrel, but I didn't get a chance to see him.

A funny thing happened while sitting in this toilet. I was listening to the hustle and bustle of the office; the cut and thrust of everyday life in advertising when it occurred to me that a job in advertising is actually quite dangerous. It's the kind of job where you die before, well, dying. And I think that it is my duty to help you save your life before you die and would recommend that should you wish to survive life that you should, therefore, avoid a job in advertising.

Some of you might just believe that a job in advertising is extraordinarily exciting; full of glamour, gin and tonic, martinis, film shoots in the Caribbean, long lunches and prostitutes (male and female). You are of course correct. But the money is rubbish and you’ll soon find yourself taking a second job in a coffee or book shop because, financially, you simply won’t be able to make ends meet.

Financial bankruptcy is merely the first in many steps towards death before dying should you decide to get a job in advertising. Moral bankruptcy, for example, follows swiftly on the heels of your agitated bank manager and as you bore your way through another set of friends you soon find yourself utterly alone and probably in the agency on a Sunday afternoon watching re-runs of “Songs of Praise” on YouTube and avoiding phone calls that will never come.

A job in advertising is an utterly miserable place to be and should be avoided like the plague although the plague is distinctly more pleasant than a corner office at WPP. I don't think I shall stay here long.

It's time to take a stand.

2010-02-10T19:34:00.001+01:00

Say yes to Twitter from Marcus Brown on Vimeo.