from my heart

Watermelon&Honeydew

2016-10-29T21:00:00.001-07:00

You are always among the best things in my life. Best friend in heart forever.

2016-05-07T05:25:00.001-07:00

Aku takkan doakan kau bahagia. Never. Selagi aku tak boleh lupakan, aku takkan maafkan.

24th April, 0248

2016-04-23T11:52:00.001-07:00

I promised to myself to be fine after my 100th days. I tried. I was okay. Until just now i felt like tired trying. Showing that im okay to everyone but deep inside im scared like hell. Im sad af. So many hidden feelings, unspoken words. Im dying inside. Still confuse on what im supposed to do? Is it right what im doing right now? What should i do? Can just someone come to me guide me be with me and tell me what to do?

Day 78

2016-03-29T15:17:00.001-07:00

Alhamdulillah. You sent me someone who can accept me for who i am. Kau permudahkan lah ya Allah. Jika dia mmg jodoh ku, Kau pelihara lah dia, peliharalah hubungan kami, jika bukan Kau jauhkan lah dia dari ku ya Allah.

Day 69

2016-03-19T09:42:00.001-07:00

20th March,

Its your birthday today.

Happy birthday.

Day 64

2016-03-14T10:42:00.001-07:00

Ingat tak dulu kita selalu argue nak menang bila one of us ckp "i sayang u lebih?"

Ingat tak you pernah menangis bila kita gaduh teruk dulu?

I hate the fact that i can still remember all those memories. It sucks. It sucks. You are sucks.

Day 60

2016-03-10T09:32:00.001-08:00

Looking back to old pictures and videos of us. I realised how i miss those moment and i also know that those will remain as memories. We will never be like those precious time anymore. All those memories have gone. Those were our past. I cant stop thinking how come you can easily forget all of those memories. How come at the end we become like this. How come all those memories seem like never happen between us? Why people change? Kenapa macam ni? Aku rindu...

Day 54

2016-03-05T05:03:00.001-08:00

Aud, you will be fine. All this mess up will be ended, not now but soon. Stay there be stronger. Have faith in yourself. You are on your own. You will be fine.

Day 42

2016-02-22T08:29:00.001-08:00

Kenapa tak nak lepaskan kalau memang takkan mampu nak layan?

Kenapa nak susah kan hidup kau lagi?

Kenapa nak menyusahkan aku?

Semak!

Day 38

2016-02-18T07:40:00.001-08:00

Im sorry if im bragging about us a lot,

You put me somewhere that i never expect, you put me at the lowest point at the weakest point of me,

You make me struggling to be alive,

You push me to the lowest level as you could,

You should just go away, just go, please be gone forever.

You force me begging for something that i really not want to,

You force me to believe that everything has ended,

You push me to go away while im still hoping that you will pull me back to be by yourside.

Day 29

2016-02-07T09:40:00.001-08:00

I used to be hard on myself,

Then,

I slow it down,

Now,

I think im ready to let go everything about us,

And,

I feel better.

P/s: when you are gone pls stay away forever.

Day 20

2016-01-30T01:03:00.001-08:00

Bila aku boleh lupakan semua ni?

Bila aku boleh maafkan dan just have my own life?

Kenapa susah sangat?

Aku bukan tak boleh redha, aku boleh,

Tapi apa yang jadi terlalu kejam untuk aku,

Terlalu berat untuk aku lalui.

Sampai bila nak macam ni?

Kenapa kena macam ni?

Kenapa aku?

; kerana Allah nak menguji aku.

Bertabahlah wahai diri,

Takkan ada orang yang nak angkat kau untuk berdiri balik,

Kau kena berdiri sendiri..

17:03

Day 19

2016-01-29T01:20:00.001-08:00

17:16

One day i will leave you like everyone else did to you. Im gonna ensure that. I dont deserve to be treated as a choice. Im gonna make sure that you will regret to lose somebody that love you more than anything else. No one would ever love you like i do. You will regret for what you have done to me. The day will come sooner or later..

Day 14

2016-01-23T08:45:00.001-08:00

Lol who do you think you are to call me that way again? Seriously? Loll

Day 13

2016-01-22T09:13:00.001-08:00

You will wake up stronger day by day dearself. Have faith..

Day 2

2016-01-12T06:33:00.001-08:00

My mistake?

Loving you more than i should.

Day 1

2016-01-11T06:53:00.001-08:00

12:34pm

Yeah. I survived our morning class for today. Though at first macam awkward sbb i decided tak nak duduk sebelah dah. It is hard at first, just wait how are we after this. Idk if we are pretending during our discussion or it was us want everything to be normal back.

22:52pm

Today is a failure i think. Nevermind 99 days to go.

6th Dec

2015-12-08T05:27:00.001-08:00

First year;

We cannot celebrate it together but we had a good time otp-ing all the night as we are so far from each other. I posted and deleted our pic cause i had a boyfriend that jealous much of you but I still decided to post it again as you know what happened.

2nd year;

We were so happy celebrating together and that day was one of the best moment we ever had. You ask me why Im not posting anything which actually i did but i did not tagging you in the photo.

3rd year;

You wished me on 0000 and i was late. Thats it. I asked you either want to post or not, and you just said up to me. I know we had a year that full of shits rather than stars. But at least we managed to survive till another period of year. Why not we appreciate it? I tried to understand as you admit that you forgot a lot of thing and not appreciate a lot of thing. So i act like i dont care. But deep down in me im so expecting much from you. And it kills me everytime.

Happy third year, you know who you are.

Tahun ketiga

2015-12-05T08:22:00.001-08:00

3rd year. Hoping for a better upcoming year. Sorry im late and even cant reply it now. Happy 3rd year.

It happened again

2015-12-02T07:50:00.001-08:00

Aku tak sengaja pun nak buat perangai ke apa. Aku tak kan titibe problematic kalau takde benda kacau aku. Aku kecewa gila sbb aku tahu dia tak layan aku macam mana dia layan org lain. Tapi aku yang sentiasa ada dgn dia. Sepanjang almost three years ni tak pernah sekali pun aku hilang from hidup dia mcm org lain buat kat dia. Tapi apa aku dapat lagi teruk dari apa dia bagi dekat orang lain tu. Aku rasa apa aku buat untuk dia before this takkan pernah worth. Aku tak tahan nak habis kan semua ni so that aku takyah dah nak hidup dalam belenggu dia. Aku nak hilang terus dari hidup dia. Aku tunggu hari itu akan tiba. Aku dah separuh jalan. #2and1/2yearsandcountingitbackward

Promise

2015-11-25T02:37:00.001-08:00

Just like how you broke all your promises and make the promises being forgotten, here i am saying

This :

"seriously, i wanna be by urside all the time to be a person you can depend on m****"

That one you should include in the forgotten promises also.

Forever never meant for us.

Adios.

Is it?

2015-09-01T10:49:00.001-07:00

Mungkin apa kau nak kita buat adalah TERASA MACAM MANA PUN KITA DENGAN EACH OTHER, BUAT BODOH JE BUAT MACAM TAKDE PAPE. ASALKAN TAK GADUH.

Am i right?

Haih.

Luahan Hati.

2015-08-23T10:31:00.001-07:00

Kali ni aku rasa sangat diperbodohkan dan rasa di betrayed sangat tinggi. Depression. Yeah. Tu yang aku sedang lalui sekarang. Aku cuba lari untuk tidak berada dalam keadaan itu. Tapi selama mana aku boleh lari? Dengan class apa semua, aku memang akan terpaksa jejakkan kaki ke sini. Jejak je kaki turun dari bas, air mata terus bergenang. Memikirkan apa yang bakal aku lalui di sini. Sumpah, aku benci perasaan itu. Perasaan yang buat kau rasa lemah sangat. Aku sangka aku kuat rupanya, tidak. Hampir setiap malam menangis, mengenangkan kenapa ini yang jadi? Kenapa akhirnya aku jugak yang salah? Seolah-olah apa yang dia lakukan terhadap aku tak pernah salah. Marah. Sedih. Kecewa. Semua bercampur. Ada suatu ketika, sedang duduk sendirian aku terfikir, gila kah aku? Aku tersenyum ketawa dihadapan orang lain, bila aku sendiri, aku murung, menangis sendiri. Sampai bila aku boleh bertahan macam ni. Orang boleh ketawa melihat aku tapi orang tak tahu apa yang aku lalui. Orang takkan faham perasaan aku. Mudahnya orang menilai mudahnya orang melukakan hati tanpa memikirkan kesannya pada sesorang. Aku sendiri. Aku seorang. Tapi aku punya Dia untuk aku bergantung. Hanya Dia.

Love, Rosie.

2015-02-17T09:30:00.001-08:00

Watched this movie during my exam week. Cerita ni pasal jodoh. If it meant to be it will be. Cerita ni pasal bff yang somehow tak sedar they fall in love with each other. They have their own life and so many obstacles diorang kena tempuhi and at the end happy ending. For me cerita ni sedih. I blh rasa perempuan tu rasa as my bff is a man. How suddenly the bff blh hilang perhatian dkt kita sebab tgh in relationship with other woman. All that heartbroken thing. Actually i watched this movie with my bff. Hahaha. And he admit that movie tu macam kitorang. I agreed but i told him that the ending is so simple. If cerita kitorang sebijik macam movie tu, i told him that it will not easy to be happy. Sebab i rasa all the heartbroken tak senang untuk dipulihkan. It will take time and big effort 😊 anyways, this is a good movie to be watched 👍👍👍

Cinta pandang ke-2 (contd..)

2015-02-07T22:30:00.001-08:00

Another thing i really agree with this drama is about perempuan yang nak jugak dengan lelaki yang dia tahu dah jadi someone's. Kenapa ada perempuan yang dah tahu lelaki tu suami orang but the still nak dengan lelaki tu jugak. Oh please perempuan! Kau tu tak faham perasaan kaum sendiri ke? Kau pun perempuan jugak. Put yourself on their shoes lah. Tak kisah lah lelaki tu suami orang ke tunang ke boyfriend ke apa, if kau dah nampak yang dia macam dah ada someone special, can't you just step back? Kesian lah dekat perempuan lain tu. Words "alaaa. Kahwin pun boleh cerai" are really forbidded okay? Kau tu mendoakan yang buruk2 pulak. Kesian lah dekat orang lain okay? Pilih lah yang sure2 single tu. Ramai lagi. Tamau lah jadi perampas okay? Cause nanti what you give you will get back ☺️