Mighty Moxie

Moments by Mandy photography Update

2012-07-15T21:53:00.000-05:00

I have done it. I have officially photographed a wedding :). Well 2 temple shots, and 3 receptions, a mini bride and groom session, and a bridal shoot. In the last 3 months I have been so busy with pictures that i haven't any time to post. I am back, and can't wait to show you the results.

Liz and her beautiful eyes.

Love and skittles. All is right with the world.

Just a party going on here

Emily dressed like the princess she was

Emily married Justin, The boot was too cute.

Packing vs UNpacking

2012-04-27T21:54:00.001-05:00

Packing is one of those enivitable things that happen in everyone's life. I however have done it more times than most. I have moved about 16 times that I remember. All in the same city too.

I moved out of the city of McKinney! (gasp) No worries, I am moving one city over. Closer to work, and to church. Plus I am liking the new apartments. They are very friendly, and pretty. They have great parking (this matters at 1am).

Packing however still sucks. I hate living out of boxes. Having only a 10th of your normal stuff to use. My whole front room is boxes/bags for tomorrow so my friends helping me move will just have to shove it in the trucks. The move was good. About 8 people helped me move. I know the hardest part was after all my furniture was out of the old apartment, and I had to clean and remove all the little things from the old apartment. I was so tired by that point that I almost collapsed.

All in all I finished, exhausted, but home. I counted the number of stairs I took. My old apartment has 2 stairwells of 19 stairs, and my new apartment just has 19 stairs.

2 * 19 = 38 (number of stairs) * 26 (times I went up the stairs) * 2 (because I had to come down also) = 1976 steps of the old apartment alone = 1 MILE OF STAIRS.

Not to forget the other stairwell that I went up and down, but I forgot to count those times. So about a mile and half of stairs. Now thats hard enough, but add carrying boxes, bags, and heavy/awkward things down the stairs, and then running back up. I really don't know what I was thinking.

Now I'm i the new apartment, and I have to unpack. I' not going to lie I'm not quite done yet, and I'm ok with it. I figure after living in boxes for 2 weeks, another day isn't going to hurt anything. I'm mostly unpacked, but it's things like my craft baxes that I haven't put away. Partly because I don't know where I am going to put them yet. I will know soon, because the boxes are bugging the crap out of me.

I must say that I like to unpack, and I love putting things away in a new place, but I learned that I am throwing away so much paper, and boxes. Thats the bad part about unpacking. The pile of boxes that you have to get rid of.

One day soon I will be done, and then pictures will be soon to follow. I love my new apartment, It's bigger, and closer to everything I do.

Proud to be a daughter

2012-04-25T22:37:00.001-05:00

So tonight my Mother got her Young Women Recognition Award. If you don't know what it is, it is an award celebrating a young woman (normally ages 12-18) for completing all of her goals in her personal progress. You complete 6 experiences in the 8 values:

Faith
Divine Nature
Individual Worth
Knowledge
Choice and Accountability
Good Works
Integrity
Virtue

Some experiences include paying tithing, be a peace maker, participate in family history, learning a new skill, study the Young Women's Theme, giving service to others, fasting, and prepare to be worthy to enter the temple. The colors represent each value they correlate to. These values is what Young Women learn and strive to live.

Young Women Medallion

Now I received my Recognition when I was in high school. But my mom wasn't able to attend all the meetings required when she was in high school. Her ward was in Greenville, and she lived in McKinney (yes even all the way back then she was still in McKinney) about 53 miles away, which is really hard to drive on a school night. So tonight she was recognized as doing all the requirements to get the medallion.

When she walked across the rostrum I was so proud. I'm not her mother, but I can truly say that I know what pride goes through a mother as she watches her child achieve something. No I didn't push her to get the award, she wanted to do it on her own; but I know the struggles she went through to receive the award. I have also been there, gone through the struggles and had the elation of achieving the goal.

I am proud to say that both the Women in my family have received our Young Women Medallion. It's a tradition in our family now. One that I cherish.

Running

2012-04-24T23:06:00.000-05:00

So I was watching the Olympic Trials for the Marathon the other day when I found myself saying out loud

I want to run a marathon...did I just say that?

Yes I said those exact words! To hear those words come out of my mouth is like a tiny miracle, and part insane.

I hate running just to run. I think it is evil. I don't see the point in it.
The only time I like to run is when playing a sport, because then you are not running, you are playing.
Running on a treadmill might be the death of me. At least if I have to run I want to feel the breeze of the wind on my face.

My inspiration

Now saying all this I still really do want to run in a marathon. All 26.2 miles. All the crazy hills, and sore feet; the time when you want to give up because you hurt, and the times that your body is screaming out in pain and you are wondering how you keep taking that next step, but all in all you don't want to give up.

So I know I am not in the kind of shape that I can just go out and run for a long period of time. Heck I have never been in that kind of shape. I think the longest run I have ever been on was for soccer in 10th grade, we ran for 40 minutes straight and I thought that was a long time. So I have been reading up on how to prepare for running greater distances.

Now that I have committed myself to run, I find myself watching every movie/show and just wanting to run. But I have one tiny problem. My shoes are already packed. So I have promised myself that my running shoes are going to be the first things unpacked in my new apartment. So I can start on my journey to a marathon.

I may change. In fact I hope I do! I want to change into someone who loves to run, who sees the freedom that running brings, and who can loose themselves in the exercise.

Lost in the Sunset

2012-04-08T21:25:00.000-05:00

Tonight as i got home I looked out my window to see the most amazing sunset.

I already think I have the best view in the city, but this just proves it!
The colors are amazing! The blends of the yellows to the pinks. I love them all

All these pictures were from 7:25-7:58pm. What a sight.

ok, I'm done being single

2012-04-06T22:27:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was an interesting day. I woke up early to leave with enough time to get to work early to get a little bit of OT in. Everything was going great, and I even was having an ok morning, eggo's were good, and I packed my lunch. I went down to my car, and thats when things went wrong.

Torii(my car) started just fine. But as I was pulling out of my apartments I remembered that one of my tires was low, so I went to a gas station to get air in my car. I pull in, and for some reason instead of adding air to my tire, it really deflated it. So I drive (rather slowly now) to another gas station not too far away. I fill up the no flat tire, and the light didn't go off. So I kept filling up the tire that I thought was low. I filled the tire for a long time, and the low light never went away. None of the other tires seemed low, and I don't own a tire gauge (don't worry I'm buying one soon.) So I tried to add air to the other front tire. Nothing changed. Finally I called a friend to come help me. As I got off the phone a nice man came and asked me if I needed help. He had a gauge, and saw that my two front tires were overfilled! The one that I had put the more air in was actually WAY over inflated. So he fixed both of them to the normal level. Thank you! But the low tire light was still on, and I needed to get to work. Finally Cleave arrived, and he helped me fill the only tire that looked fine, and was actually the low one (go figure.)

So why am I ready to not be single any more? I am really rather done with having to take care of all the "manly" things. I didn't grow up with a man in the house, and IDK all the inner workings of a car. When to get an oil change, when to replace my tires, how to know what tire needs filling. Things like that. I am ready to cook for some one other than myself. To keep track of two schedules.

Being single has been and still is really fun, however there comes a time when being single and free isn't so freeing anymore, and you become ready to take the next step in life. I think I am at that point in time.

Food Glorious Food

2012-04-03T22:02:00.003-05:00

I came home tonight hungry. This is a great sign for me. Why? #1 It means that I didn't buy dinner. #2 It means that I want something from home. I looked through my pantry, and there isn't much. I'm getting ready to move, so I don't want a lot of food to have to move along with all the furniture that I have acquired.

crescent rolls with meat

So I found some pre-made meat, and then some crescent rolls, and I decided to make meat in a blanket.

pre oven

They turned out GREAT! I threw them in the oven for a little longer then they said because I learned that they take longer to cook.

right out of the oven. They smelled Great!

When they were done I dipped them in spaghetti sauce. This is so exciting for me! I can cook! I don't mind eating my own food, and reheating my own food. PLUS I can save money. WOO HOO.

Women at the Well... Continued

2012-03-29T21:05:00.000-05:00

Tonight is the night before the big reveal! Tomorrow is the Women at the Well Cast Party! I get to watch the video... again. It's a good thing I really love the show, and I love the songs too. As I am now just finishing up making the dvd's to give to the cast members, I have some time on my hands. Each dvd takes about 10 mins to burn.

So here is a sneak peak of the show... In pictures. The pictures I am going to post are all my pictures, even though I did get more pictures from other photographers at the events I do not have the rights to those pictures.

The Well

Some of the set (Que is amazing)

I love how the scenery even had fruit

This might be my favorite. The poor vase

More of the gorgeous scenery! It's just a table but is so much more!

Friday night Cast

Saturday night cast! I love everyone of these women! (And the little Nephite boy too)

What more is there to say? This was one of the hardest things I have ever taken on. I knew it was going to be challenging to edit the movie, but this wouldn't have looked as good as it does without help from my Heavenly Father. Even though I have watched the movie about 20 times. I still find new places where I feel the spirit overwhelm me!

So a big THANK YOU goes out to all those involved in making this production go as smoothly as it did. The women (and men) that I worked with are all truly amazing! They have taught me so much of how to use my talents and let them shine.

doTERRA

2012-03-27T20:06:00.001-05:00

Ok, I am very skeptical about medicines, weight loss drugs, or any other OTC product that claims to help hundreds of people. Especially when the change is suppose to happen rather quickly. But I think I found a product I can stand behind. It's call doTERRA, it's an essential oil that can be used for some medicines, but also for cleaning products too.

After the first class i went to I was hooked. I have always liked alternative medicines. I don't know why exactly but I know that Heavenly Father made the earth with every essential need for us. Think of people in the days of Noah's Ark. I don't see them having Tylenol lying around to take when they had a headache, but they must have had something right. Well they did. Peppermint is a great cure for the common headache.

Peppermint Essential Oil
Mentha piperita

Peppermint is popular in countless forms, from toothpaste to chewing gum. As an essential oil, it is useful to ease breathing and as a digestive aid*. For aromatic, topical, or dietary use.

Believe me I have tried this, one drop of this oil, and BAM your headache is not gone completely, but definitely down, and in time the headache goes away completely.

Another Oil that I have just been introduced to is

Wild Orange Essential Oil
Citrus sinensis

Cold-pressed from the orange peel, wild orange is excellent for energizing and revitalizing. It is also commonly used as an effective tool for uplifting mood, as well as for its wonderful citrusy aroma. For aromatic, topical, or dietary use.

This on is AMAZING! Just one tiny drop in my hands every morning before I start work. All I do is breathe it in, and I really do feel energized for the day! With how crazy it can get at work sometimes, this really helps me to be energized, but not be jittery *why I hate energy drinks. It really is amazing!

I can't wait to learn more about all of the oils! I just told mom to use the Peppermint for her Thyroid too. Could you just imagine if that could work, and she could not have to be dependent on medicine to feel better? I am very interested to see the results! If you would like to know more about them just let me know! i can hook you up too!

Getting antsy

2012-03-24T22:33:00.003-05:00

So next week is MY BIRTHDAY! I love my birthday week. I love celebrating for the whole week, because I am special, I had a pin that told me and everything. Haha. But I really enjoy birthdays. Maybe even more than holidays. Holidays are special for everyone, but not everyone has your birthday. It is special. But this year is not just any birthday it's my... GOLDEN BIRTHDAY! (Reference)

So I will be turning 30 on the 30th. There I said it, it's out loud now. I am going to be 30. Where did the time go? I'm not nervous, I don't think the world is going to stop turning, Just happy that this Friday I get to join the 30 club. They say 30 is the new 20 right? I think I am going to have to test that theory out.!

Why did I go into work today?

2012-03-20T13:18:00.000-05:00

Today has been a day when I should have listened to my idea to call in sick this morning. I did come in at 7am this morning because I am leaving early for a dentist appointment (the only thing that has kept me sane today). About 9am when everyone else arrived our main program completly shut down! On our busiest day of the week! So since 9 am we have all been waiting for the program to return, and they won't let us go home! Oh I think about this morning, and wish I would have been sick wnough to stay home! I was tired enough, but I knew I needed to come in... boy was I wrong!

iMac = iLove

2012-03-14T22:15:00.003-05:00

So my newest toy... the 21 inch iMac! I have been doing my research for the last couple of months. I have been wanting a new computer, and debating over getting an iMac, or going back to a PC. I have owned many PC's before, and while I really do like them, for the jobs that I am doing the iMac was the definite winner. I am now doing mostly video, and picture editing. While the PC can do all of the editing I want; I have to buy the software separately; while the iMac came with both video and photo editing abilities already on it!

So I am becoming a Mac-girl. I now own an iPhone (4 yrs) a Macbook (3 yrs) and now an iMac (1 week) It is soooo pretty! I am impressed with the speed, but most of all I love that it has 1 Terrabyte of hard drive space! I am loving that! My Macbook only had about 120 Gb on it, and I was full (only had 2.1 Gb left)

I am now editing video of Women at the Well. The ease, and speed of which I can work astounds me! I can't wait to be finished!

Isn't it pretty?

Vacation Bucket List

2012-03-09T14:38:00.004-06:00

As many of my friend have been, or are talking about going on a vacation (and because I so desperately want to go on a vacation) I have decided that I am going to make a vacation bucket list. This is either places I want to go, or things I want to do.

Las Vegas

Cruise

Walt Disney World

Skiing

New York, NY

London

Venice

Vactions that change places:

SUPERBOWL

College Final Four

Olympics

Women at the Well

2012-03-07T08:39:00.002-06:00

Women at the Well

I have been busy. Not a "I don't have anything to write so I will say that I'm busy," busy... but a "dang I get home at 12:30 at night" busy. I have spent the last 4 weeks working on a production for the Relief Society in my Church. The production is from Kenneth Cope and is called Women at the Well.

The well

The production depicts women in the time of Christ. How they lived and learned from Christ's teachings. The set was amazing! Que Taylor and her crew were able to take a normal cultural hall and turn it into City Scene from Jerusalem. The set had everything from a house, to a well (fitting since the title is Women at the Well) The grapes, and vases fit perfectly, along with real bread that fit right in.

The cast of Women at the Well

The production was a success both days! All the actresses (and one 10yr old actor) did amazing. Always remembering the words, and definitely bring the spirit into the production.

My part in the production? Started off as the stager/choreographer, and durring the production I was video #1. I loved being a part of the production. It was a huge success, and even though it took so much time I would do it over again in a heartbeat, because I felt so much love for the work that I put in. I wanted every movement to be perfect. I wanted the performers to love the music as much as I did, wanted them to put the emotion that I had for the words into their performances. And the best thing is THEY DID! They all felt the music, and they showed the love.

Some of the amazing decorations

This whole experience has shown me how much I love MUSIC. I have always known that the love for music was in me, but now it just can't be held in. I get so much enjoyment from just watching them as they performed.

The experience also let me know how much I love to help others to show off their talents. In some ways I felt like a mother when the songs that I staged came on, I was so proud that no one fell, so proud that they remembered their staging. It was an awesome feeling!

Floor Decorations

Now that everyone else is done with women at the well, my portion is just beginning. I have 6 hours of video to edit! The producer told me that she wanted to have a cast party in two weeks! That actually wouldn't be so bad, but I have had trouble with my computer. I don't have enough free space on my Macbook :( I actually only have 2 Gb left! (Only started out with 140 Gb) So comes my new iMac! I am picking it up today! This makes me about as excited as the video editing itself! I can't wait.

It's not about me!

2012-02-24T00:42:00.003-06:00

I have days... (ok maybe weeks) where I want the world to be about ME! I go into a "pity party" mode, where even if nothing is really wrong I make it out to be the biggest thing that has ever been placed before me. Talk about making a mountain out of a grain of sand! While pity parties have their place in society, every one needs one now and then just to remind them that they have friends. I think my party has gone on long enough.

But I digress. My pity party started a couple of months ago. I took something that was an obstacle I needed to face and ran like a 5 year old from the dentist. I have never liked change and I didn't want to confront the change that was taking place all around, and within me. This change could have been a change for good, but because I was afraid to embrace the change it became a molehill of fear instead of a mountain of opportunity. Yes I talked a good game in the blog. And at times I did have the understanding of why. But I am also a great faker. I have learned to put on a good show, and not let anyone see the real hurt deep within you.

So this deep hurt, fear, and eventually (what I perceived to be) rejection formed inside of me. All of this started to change me. I am a happy person by nature; I like being happy, and when I'm not happy inside I still put on a happy face for others which makes me even less happy that no one can see my real pain. When a little change started to take place within me. Nothing major, but little tiny things like actually liking the smell of coffee at work; to going out with my co-workers after a work week to hang out and get to know everyone out of the office space. Both of these incidences are not bad at all, while I had the urge to taste the coffee for a little while, I never took a sip; and when I did go out with my coworkers I really enjoyed getting to know a new group of people and interacting with them; on their own... Together combined with other things going on in my life got me started on a tight rope line kind of life. I haven't fallen of the line into the gorge below, but I look down and laugh telling myself that I am not going to fall, and if I did fall, I could return easily.

But as in every Pride cycle one must fall. And falling for me has been harder this time than ever before. Not physically, or emotionally, but spiritually. I didn't have the same reaction to things from the spirit. I didn't have the ability to pay attention, or the desire to care. I still had a testimony, and that was good enough for me. But even though I had a testimony I didn't want to share it.

I was trapped in my own circle of despair. Having no where to go but up, I got onto my knees tonight. I have never stopped praying, but out of my prayer tonight became a realization.

When I sin, it is not only about me! It is about all my posterity, my eternal family that is watching and waiting. I am only holding myself back from things. I am not hurting any one here on earth, but I am hurting people that I do not remember. People that care about me because they are my kids, grandkids, and so forth. I am hurting them by not doing everything in my power to prepare myself of bringing them down to earth so they can be tried, and they can gain their eternal reward. I am hurting my precious earthly time with them. Holding them, rocking them to sleep, laughing, crying, and being the proudest momma the world has ever known.

So now I feel selfish, that I have wasted so much time throwing myself the worst party ever. I am done with this party. It is time for me to let another person have all my baggage. The person I am giving my baggage to is Jesus Christ. He is my savior, he is my King. But he also is my brother, my best friend, and some one who loves me enough to take the burdens upon himself to free me from my heavy burdens. I need to thank Him for this. I need to thank Him for the relief and the stress-less days ahead. I am ready for some good days.

What I have learned from Weddings

2012-02-18T22:56:00.000-06:00

Weddings... every girl has dreamed of their perfect wedding since they were a child. That's what I enjoy about weddings is that they are all different. Same basic format, but all have a style and flavor of the newly wed couple. But seeing as I have been in what I refer to the "Single Circuit" for almost 12 years now; I have seen my fair share of weddings.

Each of these weddings are special to me. Not only do I get to see some of my dear friends get married to wonderful men (and women) but also I get to learn what goes well :) and what doesn't :(. At one point I wrote down everything that I did, or did not want at my wedding. I must admit, because I have been to so many, I am starting to get quite specific on things I do and do not want. Also because I have been a bridesmaid for 4 of my best friends, then I have seen some behind the scenes action that prepared me even more.

Nick, Sarah M, and I

Rachel, Angela, Caroline, Me, and Kim

Amy, Sarah S and I

Me, Amy, Kelsey, Danielle, and Summer (bottom row)

I love all these girls! They have been the best, and we still talk and hang out, even though they are all married. But back to my original topic... What I have learned from weddings.

I want a P A R T Y! I want everyone to dance, and I need a live DJ.
I want a photographer that thinks outside the box. And who knows how to take great Temple photos. (It's an art)
I want to have a Dollar Dance $$
I really want to have a fireworks show at my reception so we can kiss under the fireworks. (Maybe a little bit far fetched; but hey, when I dream... I dream BIG!)
I really want to slow dance with my dad.
I want to have a dinner for the two families before the wedding day.
I want to have a toast from the Best Man, and the Maid of Honor.

Now for things that I have learned about the inner workings of weddings (that I think could have been thought out a little better before)

I want my reception planned to a T. Not necessarily every minute planned, but definitely having a good agenda for the time, so that the reception flows smoothly.
I want my wedding to be in the right climate. Not too hot, not too cold.
I want most of the accessories (meals, flowers, etc.) to be handled by stores (so my family isn't stressed, and can enjoy the time.
I want a lot of people to come. I love going to everyone's wedding, and want to see every one at mine.
I don't want to be stressed out, but to just enjoy the day. Plan everything up to one week before, and then just relax. (That would be in a perfect world)
I WILL NOT have a wedding reception inside someones house. However big the house is, it IS NOT big enough for 40 people in a kitchen.

One last thing. I know I may have a pretty detailed outline of how I want things to go, but this is me! THERE WILL BE SURPRISES. I love them, and I love the look on everyone else's faces when I surprise people!

So I love to go to weddings, and it's a good thing too. "Mormon wedding season" is starting up in a few weeks. I have already been to two weddings this year, and have at least 10 more to go to before the end of June!! So until I can have my own wedding, I will go and enjoy. See my friends marry the person of their dreams, and ride off into the sunset together for time and all eternity.

Best Valentines Day Ever (so far)

2012-02-14T23:28:00.003-06:00

I started out today with a bad 'tude. I have had 29 Valentines Day, and so far they have not been the best days ever... as far as I am concerned. In my 29 years I have yet to "have a valentine" to be asked on a date for valentines, or to receive roses (or candy, or a teddy bear) from a special someone. So when I went to work, and like 500 balloons were down at the desk for pick up (ok, so I over exaggerated on the balloons) I was a again down hearted.

But my friend Amy, and I had already planned to go to an Allen American's Hockey game. I love all sports, and the American's played the #1 team in the CHL tonight. I was excited to see some good ole knocking people into the boards, and maybe even a fight or two. I wasn't disappointed!

Even thought I could have reff'ed better than the refs that were on the ice tonight (and we got trounced by the other team) I can't think of any other way that I would rather spend a Valentine's Day (well while I am single anyways.) A couple of our friends joined us to root for the American's. And we sat close to the hecklers at the game (people with drums, horns, and they love to yell at the refs/goalie of the opposing team) I got to cheer, dance, and yell at the top of my lungs.

The American's were down by 2 goals, and then the magic happened. Our player got into a fight with the other team. I started yelling a screaming for our player to hit the other guy. I realized that I wanted them to fight harder, and to see more blood. (Didn't see any tonight :( ) I think hockey is the BEST way to get out emotions. Even just watching. Hockey, more than any other team sport, promotes checking the other guy into the wall, and even fighting (to some degree.) Let me tell you, it is awesome to watch! You get to use all the anger from the day, and put it towards something constructive. I have been to many hockey games, but I'm going back to more.

GO AMERICAN'S - Don't stop living in the RED

Oh... and Happy Valentine's Day!

A Few Bad Months

2012-02-11T16:18:00.000-06:00

So Januarys, and Februarys, have always been hard months for me. I don't know if it's because its after Christmas, and after the high I get during the season theres always a down. Because I HATE VALENTINES DAY (you would to if you have never had a valentine)! Because it's the months leading up to my birthday. Or because it's the doldrums of winter solstice here in TX, but this year isn't the first time that these two months have been hard.

Just last year I wasn't the happiest/nicest person during this equinox. And that is just the start. I remember many years of hard times during January/February.

I seem to question my decisions, my knowledge, and my self worth all at the same time. Other times, when I only question one of those 3 I can think a little more clearly. I can take time and dissect each one individually, but still having the other 2 attributes to fall back on, and keep myself realistic, and optimistic.

Then this time of the year comes around, and it's like all the events that have shaped, and defined me from the past years have been thrown out the window, and I look only at what I need to improve on, not where I have come from, or the lessons I have learned along the way.

So I have started telling myself positive thoughts, every time that I am negative to myself. It's not a fix all, and I still struggle, but when I do catch myself and am positive, it really does help. But I put it out on the internet because I am not good with keeping promises to myself.

So I am glad that these months are almost over. I am looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. This months I am busier than I have been in a few months so that definitely helps when I don't have time to think about my problems.

Counting my Blessings

2012-02-08T21:00:00.000-06:00

So yesterdays post was negative. And I don't want to be negative again. It's too much for me to handle.

But I want to talk about why being negative is not good for me. I have so many things that are going well in my life, and yet, I can only focus on the negative. So today, for every negative thing I say, I am going to immediately write 2 positive.

~ I am single :(

I am providing for myself all on my own right now. I don't have to answer to anyone!
I am making choices for me that I have put off for a while, and I am liking the decisions being made.

~ My friends don't do anything with me.

I am finding hobbies that I love, and devoting myself towards such things. (Music and Video)
My voice lessons are going really well, and I am learning so much of who I am by my voice, whether I am quiet or loud!

This is really helpful! I should do this again! I encourage you to do the same, and when you do, you will count your blessings too. Then we can sing the hymn!

Down Turn In Life

2012-02-07T21:32:00.001-06:00

Ok, so this is not a happy go lucky post. I think that is why I haven't written a long post in a while. I am not the person who likes to complain. Well I shouldn't say that; I complain outloud to myself MANY times. While driving in the car, walking to and from things, basically any time that is quiet. But I don't like telling people all my troubles, because people have their own problems, and they don't need mine. However I have realized that not opening up to people hurts me. I have shut myself out from friends, and family because I don't want to be hurt.

So what has been going on in my life? Questions that are left unanswered. I have refound my focus in prayer, and talking to my Father in Heaven. WOW. If you haven't humbled yourself, and just prayed what is in your heart, I would tell you to just do it! It is an amazing experience that can't be explained, but can only be felt with the holy spirit.

I can't really explain what the matter with me right now. I can't explain it to myself, so how I can I explain it to the blogosphere? But I know that I am not happy. I can't seem to find happy. That night sound funny but it's true. My happy place is far from me right now.

I know that I'm upset that I am reaching a milestone in my life... The big 3-0. In less than 2 months I will be 30. Which might not be so killer because I do t feel 30. But I am single. Which in some ways being single and 29 makes me feel like I am turning 50 not 30.

I am also alone a lot. I have need been alone very much. It IS good for me. I am learning a lot about myself. But it is also hard. I keep having thoughts about how if my friends really wanted to have me around they would invite me. But at the same time I know that I shouldn't think like that.

I know that even though it is a hard time for me right now, but it has to get better soon. I don't like to be down. And it has to get better soon right. I have good days, and bad days; everyone does. Right now just seems like a bad 2 months. The tunnel has been dark for a while, but the light hasn't gotten any brighter. Well it has to start getting brighter soon.

YouTube is giving me fits!

2012-02-03T19:08:00.001-06:00

I have been working on the video for Dallas Cup for about a week and a half now. I can't get the video to get approved by YouTube. I own the rights to the song, so why can't I use it in my video? I even changed it up, and added a section. Still no bueno! Ok YouTube, if your gonna be like this, this means war. I will find out how I can use the sound, and still get my video uploaded. I know others do it, so is there a trick? Do you have to click a link? Do you have to read and accept something that no one has ever read the entire thing? Please let me know how I can get the video on YouTube. I am proud of the video.

I'm a Good Patient!

2012-02-01T21:19:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I was eating lunch when... Ouch! As I bit down into my salad, shooting pains went from my teeth straight to my gums. I called the Dr for an appointment, and got one for today.

As I got into the dentist office, I was ok. Actually the pain from yesterday had pretty much subsided, so I didn't think that too much was wrong. Boy, was I!!

The dental assistant took some x-rays, and also some pictures. Then I got to wait while I heard some poor 13 yr old boy cry, scream, and whine about the pain he was in. Good thing I'm not really afraid of the dentist, cause I'm sure he would have scared people off!

I was expecting the Dr. to say "I see you have 1 cavity. Let's get that fixed." Instead I get "I see you have 3 cavities. (dum dum duuumm) Then you have (I think she called it a distal fracture) on your molar."

So instead of one filling, I got 3! And also I get to get a crown. What was supposed to take an hour, ended up taking 3.

As I was getting fitted for the crown, and the assistant was shoving some string up into my gums, the Novocain started to wear off. I started to feel every time she used the sharp pointy stick to jab up into my gums, and told the assistant. She asked if I wanted to have the Dr. come and reshoot me up with medicine. I told her no, I was ready to go, and didn't care how much pain it was, I didn't want to stay there more than I had to. So as she continued to work, she kept telling me how good I was doing.

When the Dr. got back into the room to finish the temporary crown I was feeling some pain. The assistant then told the Dr. that I had feeling coming back. Let me tell you, she didn't go lightly because she knew I was in pain. When she was done the assistant again told me how good I was even through the pain.

When I went out to line up my next appointment (to fit me with the permanent crown) the assistant couldn't stop telling me how good of a patient I had been. I thought she was going to ask me if I wanted to get a prize from the treasure box that was in the room.

If she had asked I would have gotten something too! I love stupid little toys, like the toys from Happy Meals. I put them on my shelf at work. Right now I have about 6 toys up there. I may seem a little immature, but believe me, when you are bored, they give you something to do!

A Clean House

2012-01-29T11:38:00.001-06:00

I've never been one to be spotless, and since I am here on my own with very few visitors I haven't really bothered to clean too much. But I have been in a cleaning mood lately. Now I don't like to be dirty at all, but being spotless has never been my thing either.

This weekend though I have started a deep clean of my house. Why? A: It needs it. I have never realized how much dust settles in a house before. I don't move around too much, and I never thought I pulled in so much dust, but apparently I do. B: I finally understand the saying that the Spirit of God cannot dwell in any unclean thing. Whether it is a person, or a house; you need to be in a clean place to be of a clean mind.

I still have stuff to clean, but now it is going through bills, and putting them up. Or pictures that need to go up.

Another thing I have noticed about having a clean house is that my mood has improved. When I live in a cluttered world, my mind becomes unclear. This may change how I look at my desk at work too!!

Although I now have a relatively clean house, there is still one more thing to tackle... THE CAR!!

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

2012-01-27T14:35:00.001-06:00

So I am working on a post. A better post than this. I promise. But right now I am having a fit with YouTube and their copyright policy. If I own the music, why can't I put it on my video? AGHH! Frustrations.

Anyway it also would have been done before now, but this week has actually been hectic. Please give me until tonight when I will again have time to finish the video project.
Oh, and I am going to try to blog about two things tonight. :)

Living on my Own: Love/Hate

2012-01-19T21:01:00.004-06:00

So I have been living on my own for almost 4 months now! I really can't believe that it has been this long. My first blog about Living on my own, I wrote about lessons learned.

Living on your own, there is so much to get used to. Thats what today is about. What I love, and hate about living on my own.

Love: Walking in the door to silence. It's so nice knowing that for the most part, I choose what sounds are made in my house. For all my talk of not liking silence, I think I was wrong. There are times that sitting in the silence, and the only noise that is made is the clicking of my keyboard, or the wind.

Hate: Laundry. Not doing the laundry, but LUGGING it up and down 3 flights of stairs. Tonight I almost broke my pinky lugging the heaviest bag up tonight. Plus because I don't have a washer/dryer (and i don't want to pay to do my laundry) I have to take it to my mom's house. Now I do have a washer/dryer that is mine, but I have to find out how to get the two appliances into my closet.

Love: Decorating my apartment how I want to decorate it. All my life I have wanted to decorate, and show my creative side. Right now my apartment isn't perfect, but there are elements that I love. Like my dining room wall. I have a set of shelves that I love. It is holding a quote that I love. Also in my room I have a shelve that has pictures of my family on it.

Hate: Being alone. Now, I know what you are thinking... Doesn't the whole "Living on your own" give that away? Yes, and no. Yes, I knew that by living on my own I would have times that I was alone. But what I didn't realize is how much time I would spend alone. Sometimes I'm ok, but other times I miss having people to talk to. I think the worst part is when I remember a funny time, and I want to share it with a friend. I want to laugh with someone, and stay up too late just talking.

I have learned that many things are different when living on my own. There are some things I would change, and others that make my day. Funny thing is, I wouldn't give up the bad (except for not having anyone to laugh with) for something different. In these 4 short months I feel like I have changed who I am and that is what I wanted to do.