Indigo!

Z—Zenith

2025-04-30T20:00:00.065-05:00

As I considered a Z-word to end this challenge, only one popped into my mind.

zenith* (noun) ze·nith ˈzē-nəth
1 : the point of the celestial sphere that is directly opposite the nadir and vertically above the observer
2 : the highest point reached in the heavens by a celestial body
3 : culminating point : acme
When you reach the zenith, you're at the top, the pinnacle, the summit, the peak. Zenith developed from an Arabic phrase meaning "the way over one's head" ....

There was a point when peak and apex were key words for me. They are both listed as synonyms. And with those, paramount (with a visual of a peak like the movie company).

Those words take me back decades to the 90s after G and I moved from Ohio to Kansas and began to travel in ministry. I'm so thankful to my mom for her allowing us to live with her in the middle of the country. Home base. Basically a day or two to drive anywhere in the country. I wonder if I've learned anything since then! (I am feeling a bit clueless, new beginnings and all, feeling like I am still drifting after all these years.)

When we came back to Ohio to visit, there were a few times we gathered with some former church friends and shared adventures. Paramount came one night. Kathy R. saw it I believe while we prayed. I wish I had been writing the adventures then (at least more). Maybe I can find details in my journals. But it was significant enough to impact my heart then and remain there to this day.

I was on the lookout for that apex! I guess I still am. Funny how a Z can also be an A. Full circle, I guess.

My final reflection isn't a stunning revelation. I didn't complete the writing every day and still have beginnings of words that didn't get posted. I thought maybe I'd dive deep and come up with treasure. Instead it's a blur and yet another month has zoomed by without conquest. Maybe it's so gradual I don't realize I'm chipping away at a limiting shell.

*"zenith." Merriam-Webster.com. (1 May 2025).

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R—Restoration

2025-04-21T20:00:00.001-05:00

In September of 2023, I started a journey of reclaiming my home. I prayed and tucked scriptures into the four corners of my property and every door. This one pictured was the only one that remained.

Psalm 126:4–6 (NIV)
Restore our fortunes Lord.... Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.

By unknown providence, I picked up a wooden hand-carved plate at an estate sale that illustrated the Bible verse. When I took communion for the first time in my semi-restored home, this was my bread plate (the purpose for which I bought it). I didn't realize until later that it matched the Bible verse!

We all have our stories that involve great loss. We go out weeping. Hopefully we carry seed to sow, which I view as anything from acts of service to support of any kind given to others. My hope is that we keep moving forward through tears. It is possible to defeat discouragement and stand strong! Surely there is a reward when we rebuild.

It makes me think of a verse in Ephesians (which also happens to be a part of the etymology of "restore" below):

Ephesians 6:13–14 (NKJV)
13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore ...

Sometimes standing is all one can do! And sometimes it can knock you down. That's what happened to me. The same month that an all-out effort was put in the works to restore my ravaged home, my brother died. I had been traveling back and forth from Oklahoma to Minnesota to help with his care after our father died three years earlier. I stood, but barely.

We waited to bury his ashes until his birthday in April, which is helpful in the extreme North Dakota winters and digging a hole in the family graveyard there. That's when I felt like my feet were knocked out from beneath me. Energy was zapped. I could barely work. And eventually I encountered a health crisis that gave me a reason to drop clients and truly rest. Euphoria in that release lasted a day or two. Then the rest of the journey began.

I am writing this blog post half a year later. While both journeys of restoration continue, I am able to look back and see how fortunate I am to have not ended up learning of health conditions on the other side of an emergency room experience—or worse yet, not at all and simply died alone in my home. My doctor and I recently had a conversation about the the stakes I unknowingly navigated.

That's completely due to the Lord's hand on my life. He has preserved me!

But back to restoration, regardless of the kind of restoration (health, home, etc.) indicates to me that something good was lost and is now given back or built back. I keep a newsletter pinned on my corkboard that shared a glimpse of the work involved to restore an apartment that was so trashed no one else would buy it. The minister shared Greek words and gave Biblical meanings to it all. (I happened to find the online version here.) What stood out to me was "rescue" and "one's return to safety and soundness." That's one thing I am immensely thankful for!

So in an attempt to wrap up what could be an even longer post, I pray for each one who may come across these words while in the midst of pain and tears. May you stand and be made firm again and again and again and again—however long it takes.

restore (verb) re·store ri-ˈstȯr
transitive verb
1 : give back, return
2 : to put or bring back into existence or use
3 : to bring back to or put back into a former or original state : renew
4 : to put again in possession of something
restoration (noun) res·to·ra·tion ˌre-stə-ˈrā-shən
1 : an act of restoring or the condition of being restored: such as
a : a bringing back to a former position or condition : reinstatement
b : restitution
c : a restoring to an unimpaired or improved condition
d : the replacing of missing teeth or crowns
2 : something that is restored
especially : a representation or reconstruction of the original form (as of a fossil or a building)
3 (capitalized)
a : the reestablishing of the monarchy in England in 1660 under Charles II
b : the period in English history usually held to coincide with the reign of Charles II but sometimes to extend through the reign of James II

I also really like what I found on etymonline.com:

restore** (v.)
c. 1300, restoren, "to give back," also, "to build up again, repair; renew, re-establish; free from the effects of sin; bring back to a former and better state," from Old French restorer, from Latin restaurare "repair, rebuild, renew." This is from re- "back, again" (see re-) + -staurare, not attested by itself but also in instaurare "to set up, establish; renew, restore," etc., from PIE root *sta- "to stand, make or be firm."
From late 14c. as "to cure, heal, bring back to a vigorous state;" of objects, beliefs, etc., "bring back to an original state or condition," 1670s. Related: Restored; restoring.

If anyone would like to see some moments from my home restoration, I happened to make some updates on TikTok (which hopefully will remain accessible for a long time to come)!

*"restore" and "restoration." Merriam-Webster.com. (22 April 2025).
**"restoration." Etymonline.com. (24 April 2025)

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Q—Quadrivium (Crossroads)

2025-04-19T18:00:00.025-05:00

Today I experienced a quadrivium!

Quadrivium* : an old word for a crossroads, literally a place where four roads meet. A place where three roads meet, incidentally, is a trivium. (A quadrivium was also a course offered at medieval universities, in which students learned the four “mathematical arts”: arithmetic, geometry, astronomy, and music.)
**Latin, literally ‘the place where four roads meet’ (in late Latin ‘the four branches of mathematics’), from quadri- ‘four’ + via ‘road’.

I was at the house of a friend who leads a prayer group online. (She is a quad-plus-trivium herself, but that's another story!) I shared the link to her prayer group as we started, and a friend from Wisconsin happened to join. She told me privately, "I got your name in prayer and then the Word GRIT over and over...like new grit I saw.... Bless you!!!"

grit** /ɡrit/ (noun)
1 : small loose particles of stone or sand.
2 : courage and resolve; strength of character.
(verb) : move with or make a grating sound.

As I read her words, I also felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to spend time with the word grit and that it connected with the word grid as well. Because I'm a nerd, I also checked Merriam-Webster and found that I liked the additional elements of their definition:

4*** : firmness of mind or spirit : unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger

What a joy to have God drop me into the heart of a praying person! To have that person be one with several connections is extra special, and I initially didn't realize how many connections we had! I received that word gladly, even though it may carry an element of warning that I will need grit to get through a difficult time. But hey, difficult times have been par for the course, so that's nothing new!

Before I sat down to share with my friend that I was going to dig into that word a bit, I shared what the Holy Spirit nudged me about. She surprised me by saying, "I saw grid too, but grit came out in tongues." What?! How cool is that?

grid** /ɡrid/ (noun)
1 : a framework of spaced bars that are parallel to or cross each other; a grating.
2 : a network of lines that cross each other to form a series of squares or rectangles.
(verb) : put into or set out as a grid.

As soon as I looked up grid, I remembered sparks of revelation involving a blueprint like a sieve that lifted up out of sand. As it rose, most _____ (I asked Google what a word was for small particles of sand. It replied: Grit. LOL) ... so most grit fell through the open spaces, and what remained was the pattern of the blueprint on the grid, so to speak. It was more than a grid shape. It was a personalized pattern and path that was revealed with the sifting and shaking. I knew as it rose that the blueprint contained not just my own design but the connections and intersections of others.

The blueprint moments were several and it's still a word that perks me up when it comes by the Spirit. Now I want to sort through journals and find them. I think I even marked some as things began to shift 10 years ago. Now just the time to find them! This is a good spark for me to remember and start to schedule time for things like these (researching my own spiritual growth).

While these words grit and grid floated through my mind, I was surprised to see this on social media:

@chaseJarvis and he seems to have a lot to say about GRIT!

Now back to quadrivium for the Q-word of the day.

As conversation continued, this friend turned out to have more connections than I originally knew! We are connected through a ministry organization started by my aunt and uncle, Association of Faith Churches and Ministries. With the live group I shared, we discovered a resonance regarding prayer. As we continued to chat, not only was there the Spirit moment with grid and grit, but to strengthen the prayer side, she learned to pray at my original church in Minneapolis, Living Word Christian Center, and specifically sat under the prayer leader at the time, who is now the husband of the online prayer group leader whose link I shared! So my friend learned to pray and to lead prayer there, and I was also there (I think earlier) and am only now reconnecting with all these people with original roots in the same place!

It is amazing to me how roads once traveled can intersect once again. And for that I am immensely grateful!

*"quadrivium." Mental Floss. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/64012/40-quirky-q-words-add-your-vocabulary (20 April2025)

**Per Oxford Languages via Google. (20 April 2025)

***Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, s.v. “grit,” accessed April 20, 2025, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/grit.

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L—Largesse (Merriam-Webster Word of the Day on February 1, 2019)

2025-04-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

I hired a team to help me handle an overwhelming situation, and had to leave when my brother died. They had already informed me that it worse than they thought and prepared me for almost everything to be gone, similar to their clients with house fires.

My first spark of hope came via text message while in a restaurant with my remaining immediate family (except for my daughter). We were in Minnesota taking care of my brother's belongings while my own were being piled into dumpsters back in Oklahoma.

I sat at a table eating burgers my son made in the restaurant's kitchen (his job at the time) when I heard a ping and read the words, "The piano can be saved." Tears overtook my words, and I replied with a series of hearts.

When the hired team was done, I was left with this:

Fall 2023

That's where rebuilding my home life started.

I took to playing designer. What did I want? Colors? Floors? Style? Bit by bit I settled in and discovered what I liked. "Modern organic" was a term I adopted at one point. Being a Christian, I involved the Lord in the process, but He didn't seem to have an opinion on those elements. All He said was that it would be a house of kindness. And honestly, that's where almost everything came from—the kindness of people's hearts.

First came a sturdy bed, leather couch, and matching recliner from my mom and step-dad. I had never owned a recliner! And it came just after I had accepted another bed from a ministry connection. Laughable, but also helpful as I was able to sleep in one while the other was getting set up, and I now have a guest room.

Then I found a rug at ReStore (for my living room) along with a seconhand dresser, small table, and chair. My bedroom because a peaceful haven where I could sleep and have coffee by my corner windows overlooking the back yard.

My parents returned with a cool modern lamp and a family table that folds down. A friend gave me his retro lamp which just happened to complement the modern one. My church found donations of all kinds from bedding to food and even a small couch!

I prepared for a desk in the middle of the livingroom and bought a standing desk topper on ultra clearance. Odd? Yes. But I'm a writer, and I wanted to work where I had a stellar view. This new life wouldn't include housing anyone else, so I made it all about ME! LOL. (That's been a hard thing, actually, but I'm liking it now.) While waiting for the big desk, I had a thought to set up the topper and use a meditation cushion to sit and write.

The "zen desk" became my favorite place. I liked it so much that I kept it as is! I now have two more desks, the first from a fellow ghostwriter and her husband which is my official office desk (the nicest I've ever had!), and the second, a salvage item from before that took a little elbow grease and is now in my former dining room, which is the most roomy workspace and gathering place when grandkids come over.

Spring 2025

Today, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Everywhere I look, I have SO MUCH to be grateful for—first the piano that was saved (it was originally my grandparents' on my dad's side) and then for the great generosity that filled my home up once again.

When I saw the word largesse, it made me think of the abundant kindness and generosity that has come my way in the last year and a half. I happened to see it today when I went to merriam-webster.com on my phone. As I started to type, the URL came up from a word of the day in 2019!

largesse* (noun) lahr-ZHESS
1 : liberal giving (as of money) to or as if to an inferior; also : something so given
2 : generosity

The word largesse, which also can be spelled largess, has been part of the English language since at least the 13th century. It derives via Anglo-French from the Latin word largus, meaning "abundant" or "generous." Largus is also the source of our word large. As far back as the 14th century, we used the word largeness as a synonym of largesse (meaning "liberal giving"), but largeness was also at that same time being used more frequently as it is now: to refer to physical magnitude and bulk rather than to magnanimity.

In the spirit of discovering gratitude, I have been overwhelmed to look around me and see the largesse of family, friends, church, and God. This truly is a house of kindness.

The piano itself has a deeper story of kindness and generosity, so I'll save it for the letter P!

*"largesse." Merriam-Webster.com. (1 February 2019).

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G—Grace, Gifts, and Gratitude—No, GENTLE (warrior)!

2025-04-08T06:48:00.000-05:00

I was waylaid when I got to this page. Suddenly the things to write seemed huge, and my energy seemed nonexistent. I've indulged naps again and have been concerned about my health and pushing it too far by manufacturing things to do.

I came across this little portion of God's words to me and decided to yield my efforts more fluidly to what He is doing in me:

Sink yourself into the slow present. Yield & flow like Iona, the gentle act of service & surrender, breathing into the day, the open listening, inner & outer reflection, the willingness to shift into the uncommon.

The Lord has referred to me as "gentle warrior" in recent years. This is where I should take a cue and focus on what He has placed in front of me!

August 9, 2022 in San Marcos La Laguna

gentle* (adjective) gen·tle ˈjen-tᵊl

1 a : free from harshness, sternness, or violence
b : tractable, docile
2 : soft, delicate
3 : moderate
4 a : belonging to a family of high social station
b : honorable, distinguished
specifically : of or relating to a gentleman
c : kind, amiable
—used especially in address as a complimentary epithet
d : suited to a person of high social station
e (archaic) : chivalrous

noun
: a person of gentle (see gentle entry 1 sense 4a) birth or status

verb
gentled; gentling ˈjent-liŋ ˈjen-tᵊl-iŋ
transitive verb
1 a : to make (an animal) tame and docile
b : to make gentler
c : mollify, placate
d : to stroke soothingly : pet
2 : to raise from the commonalty** : ennoble
intransitive verb : to become gentle

warrior*** (noun) ˈwȯr-yər, ˈwȯr-ē-ər
: a person engaged or experienced in warfare
broadly : a person engaged in some struggle or conflict

*"gentle." Merriam-Webster.com. (9 April 2025).
** people without special rank or position; common people.
*** "warrior." Merriam-Webster.com. (9 April 2025).

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F—The Many F Words

2025-04-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

Today I'll start with the phrase fill in the blanks.

But I also want to explore words like:

freedom
fallacy
fiction
find (a cause--or something to say)
filibuster
fervent
fallow
fruit of the Spirit/spirit
forgiveness : letting go of hurt
fear : overcoming with courage
festivals: celebrating God's goodness
flood : God's promise in the rain
faith : trusting God's promises

Now that I've thought out loud (also with additional help from "Hey, Google!" and its result of Bible words for kids, the ones with short definitions), I see connections to forgiveness and faith. They both affect filling in the blanks of life.

First of all, faith. It is the "substance of things hoped for" (Hebrews 11:1), which sounds like a blank to be filled in to me!

But forgiveness is potentially a roadblock to freedom and a door for evil if one does not forgive those who have hurt them (Mark 11:25; 2 Corinthians 2:10–11). To me, that sounds like a needed edit that wasn't done, and until it is, offense clutters the space that should be free to receive correction or a new, better word or structure.

In writing, editing isn't bad. It's refreshing if you have a good editor! It also brings focus and clarity. (Focus would have been a good f-word!) If forgiveness is an edit for the soul, it would be good and necessary to delete the obstructions and make room for God's ways. Then faith can finally fill the blank.

for·give* (verb) fər-ˈgiv

transitive verb

1 : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon

2 a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for

b : to grant relief from payment of

intransitive verb

: to grant forgiveness

*"forgive." Merriam-Webster.com. (6 April 2025).

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E—Edit (Post 2 of 2)

2025-04-05T08:00:00.004-05:00

What I really want to talk about is editing. I am Irish. LOL. That is the first thing that popped into my head after "I am ..." and so I typed it. Now I must edit.

I am ~~Irish~~.
I am __________.

In that sense, I must delete something to correct it. That's one of the ways I feel edit in my bones today. I must delete some things in my life in order to align it correctly. The process started in Ireland (and even previously in Scotland) with my past. I erased ties to previous elements in my life that no longer suited me.

I remember the first one ... I was about to text my former fiance when I felt God's hand as if on my shoulder as if to restrain me. I obeyed. I probably wrote about the details of it then, but I knew I was not to reach out to him again. Our friendship had stayed strong despite our romance ending by choice, so it was not unusual for either one of us to text. But that day, it cut to my heart because I felt like I should delete his contact info from my phone and all past interactions. That ... was ... hard. But I did it.

The more recent trip to Ireland touched directly on my past in ways no one could manufacture. It was a step-by-step process of renouncing former vows (two, husband and fiance) and announcing my betrothal to the Lord and "His land" (meaning His plan for me, kind of like the Promised Land). It also carried the essense of Fort Dunadd from the Scotland trip where I put my foot in the stone that early kings used when coronated to declare their betrothal to the land.

Now that I am back home with a clean slate, I have been spinning my wheels a bit. A friend recently texted me about what she perceived about a "neutral gear" that's not measurable for the gifts and anointing God has given me. Then today, she shared more that made it all click in the context of a car and being in gear.

So what this all means to me is that in order to align with God's plan, there's some editing to be done! I get that, of course, being a writer. There can be good things in a book or article that are not aligned with "something" ... style guide, grammar, even purpose. Sometimes culling away less strong points helps the focus of the article shine. That's kind of what I feel like right now.

For decades, I've been somewhat at the "beck and call" of others. There were plenty of demands on me! Critical ones. After the discovery of my former husband's pedophilia and extreme manipulation, it was both a relief and a challenge. No wonder I had not thrived! I had an opportunity for a clean slate then.

I complicated that by a new relationship a year later, one that we could never seem to make right no matter how much we tried. In the meantime, the kids were going through their own crises. We were all quite broken.

After that ended, I was still open to relationships, which brought a whole new level and breadth of hurt. *sigh*

All that went by the wayside somewhere in 2016, and the last nine years have been ones of getting back on track. And now for the first time in my life, I have no obligation to anyone under my roof nor to an external schedule-based job. It is all right here—God and me.

So ... this is my "right now" challenge. Edit. Simple? I suppose it could be. It also feels quite complex. What all must I know to align to? In the writing world, it's massive. I suppose in my world, it should be simple. So I'm about to set myself to know what that is, cut away what doesn't belong, and focus on the main purpose. :-)

edit* (verb) ed·it ˈe-dət
transitive verb
1 a : to prepare (something, such as literary material) for publication or public presentation
b : to assemble (something, such as a moving picture or tape recording) by cutting and rearranging
c : to alter, adapt, or refine especially to bring about conformity to a standard or to suit a particular purpose
2 : to direct the publication of
3 : delete —usually used with out
4 : to modify a gene or gene product of by inserting, deleting, or replacing DNA sequences

*"edit." Merriam-Webster.com. (4 April 2025).

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E—Execute (Post 1 of 2)

2025-04-05T06:00:00.001-05:00

Despite already having this waiting for Day 5 "E" ... I really want to write about edit instead of execute. But execute is a spinoff of yesterday's post. I think I'll do two. But instead of writing much about the executing of legal documents, I'll just leave what I had here.

What is an executor? One who executes the instructions of legal documents. There is a specific role in the estates of deceased persons (and other roles in other types of documentation are similar), but I'm thinking of it in general: one who executes or carries out the documented wishes of the one who created the paperwork.

execute* (verb) ˈek-si-ˌkyüt
transitive verb
1 : to carry (something) out fully : to put (something) completely into effect
2 : to do what is provided or required by (something)
3 : to put (someone) to death especially in compliance with a legal sentence
4 : to make or produce (something, such as a work of art) especially by carrying out a design
5 : to perform what is required to give validity to (something)
6 : perform
7 (computing) : to cause a system to perform the tasks indicated by (encoded instructions)
intransitive verb
1 : to perform properly or skillfully the fundamentals of a sport or of a particular play
2 (of computer code) : to cause a system to perform indicated tasks

*"execute." Merriam-Webster.com. (31 March 2025).

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D—Documents : a Friend's Throne Room Vision

2025-04-04T06:02:00.124-05:00

Sadly, the original live video is already gone (new Facebook rule), but February 22 marked an important day for me when I attended a friend's prayer meeting.

The Lord has been showing her things by way of vision, just little snapshots in time. In this particular scene, she was in a room littered with paper. She knew it was the Throne Room, and when she picked up one of the papers, she recognized it as a prayer request that had seemingly gone unanswered.

Across it was the bold stamp: GRANTED

She imagined herself spending time in that room making requests and then going out and leaving the paperwork behind or letting it flutter to the ground and an angel having to gather and return the documents.

God began to teach her (and us) about Jesus' role to execute the provisions in that document.

From my Immi Adventure in England (2011? Possibly)

Because of having to take care of all sorts of things after my dad passed on, I have a working reference to what I can do if I have legal paperwork to execute his wishes documented in his trust. PROFOUND! If he had it documented as the "grantor" of his trust, I as the "trustee" administer the trust assets according to the his instructions. I simply produce the document, and whatever is within can be done.

That is a new working thought for prayer! I think I had a less concrete view to prayer. Just go in and ask, and sometimes keep on asking. But it would be silly to go in for more paperwork when a trust has already been settled; and impossible if the grantor has passed on (in the case of a revokable living trust which become irrevokable upon death).

Just that week, I had a similar intersection of word study that started elseswhere but ended in the same place. I noticed two verses about Jesus:

Hebrews 13:20—"ratified an eternal covenant with his blood" (NLT)
Hebrews 12:24—"mediates the new covenant between God and people" (NLT)

I remember sitting in my chair and exclaiming out loud to Him, "You are so LEGAL!"

document (noun) doc·u·ment ˈdä-kyə-mənt
1 law a archaic : proof, evidence
b : an original or official paper relied on as the basis, proof, or support of something
c : something (such as a photograph or a recording) that serves as evidence or proof
2 a : a writing conveying information
b : a material substance (such as a coin or stone) having on it a representation of thoughts by means of some conventional mark or symbol
c : documentary
3 : a computer file containing information input by a computer user and usually created with an application (such as a spreadsheet or word processor)
document (verb) doc·u·ment ˈdä-kyə-ˌment
transitive verb
1 : to furnish documentary evidence of
2 : to furnish with documents
3 a : to provide with factual or substantial support for statements made or a hypothesis proposed
especially : to equip with exact references to authoritative supporting information (as by means of footnotes)
b (1) : to construct or produce (something, such as a movie or novel) with authentic situations or events
(2) : to portray realistically
4 nautical : to furnish (a ship) with ship's papers

*“document,” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/document. Accessed 4/3/2025.

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C—Consecrate

2025-04-03T22:18:00.001-05:00

I thought I would be diving into this subject from an earlier place where it was so alive to me that I about came undone with any reference to consecration and sanctification. I haven't kept my notes organized, so I have yet to retrace my steps that far back (which isn't far--within the year).

Oodles and oodles of notes on so many subjects have come alive in the past, and once upon a time, I had tubs of notebooks and folders of notes on those subjects. Most of those are gone now. I probably only of a surety have things from the past year. My heart aches over that.

But I encourage myself with the thought that if it came through my heart once, it can come again. And it will if God needs me to know it or grow it.

Tonight (veering away from that sad stance of disappearing writings), I took a quick peek into the word consecrate and found something unexpected. Hopefully I can translate this little glimpse into a blog post. And if not, it will at least be enough for me to retrace the steps later.

So the quickie is this, from Ezekiel 43:26 (KJV). "Seven days shall they purge the altar and purify it; and they shall consecrate themselves."

That last portion is from the word מָלֵא mâlêʼ, maw-lay'; or מָלָא mâlâʼ; (Strong's Definition) a primitive root; to fill or (intransitively) be full of, in a wide application (literally and figuratively):—accomplish, confirm, consecrate, be at an end, be expired, be fenced, fill, fulfil, (be, become, × draw, give in, go) full(-ly, -ly set, tale), (over-) flow, fulness, furnish, gather (selves, together), presume, replenish, satisfy, set, space, take a (hand-) full, have wholly.

This reminded me of John 10:10 (AMPC). "The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)."

I knew one meaning of consecrate is "to set apart" (especially for holy use), but I didn't realize that it also indicated fullness and abundance! Talk about a point for gratitude! WOW.

I also came looking for photos of a deliberate conseceration but they seem to be missing from my phone and Google Photos! *sigh* But I do have a photo of "U" in front of the church where Dena and I changed after being baptized in the Celtic Sea on March 19, 2025.

I wish I had time to tell the whole story now. The encounter more fully aligns with my anticipated meaning defined by Merriam Webster.

consecrate* (adjective) ˈkän(t)-sə-ˌkrāt : dedicated to a sacred purpose
(verb) transitive verb
1 : to induct (a person) into a permanent office with a religious rite
especially : to ordain to the office of bishop
2 a : to make or declare sacred
especially : to devote irrevocably to the worship of God by a solemn ceremony
b : to effect the liturgical transubstantiation of (eucharistic bread and wine)
c : to devote to a purpose with or as if with deep solemnity or dedication
3 : to make inviolable or venerable

I had to look up a few more words on this (just a quick dictionary box on Google from Oxford Languages):

in·vi·o·la·ble /inˈvīələb(ə)l/ : never to be broken, infringed, or dishonored.
"an inviolable rule of chastity"

ven·er·a·ble /ˈvenər(ə)b(ə)l,ˈvenrəb(ə)l/ : accorded a great deal of respect, especially because of age, wisdom, or character.
"a venerable statesman"

I like them both. :-)

There is no way I can do this topic justice in just one moment! I may need to write a small book of the short seven days that led to such holiness for me. I did at least chart the course when we were halfway through as there was already so much that I was losing track. More notebooks for me to try and capture digitally!

*"consecrate." Merriam-Webster.com. (3 April 2025).

#AtoZChallenge
#DiscoverGratitude
#WordStudy

B—Blessing of Expression

2025-04-02T06:49:00.006-05:00

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it."

—William Arthur Ward

[I don't know Mr. Ward. I have never heard this quote until it came in a text yesterday from the makers of Ozempic, a drug my doctor has currently prescribed for diabetes. They have an entire system devoted to things like this. I even have a personal diabetes coach who works with me on goals for several months. It has nothing to do with my main post, but I wanted to be sure to make a note of it.]

This page is no longer in my notebook. It started a reminder note of what was in my heart as I hoped to share it with a young woman who danced during the church service at All Nations Church in the boxing ring in Dublin, Ireland the Sunday we were there. I didn't see her, and so I scribbled a note at the bottom of the page so one of the workers could give it to her instead.

For the benefit of search engines or those visually challenged, the note reads:

A blessing

EXPRESSION

Do not

be afraid

of the

BEAUTY

of it.

It is a cascade

of holiness that

reflects His beauty,

His perfection,

His passion, His

PRESENCE!

You are in my ♥

& I will hold

you in prayer!

As serendipity would have it, that evening she was one of the people invited by the church to attend our prayer meeting. What a night it was! Words often feel either pale in comparison or "too gushy" to be believable or even palatable for others to read.

Even now, I am lightly pressed inwardly that the reception of such words is done by hearts that are prepared. It's not my words but their hearts and the Lord's orchestration. My main objective is to express and bless. Even the words I thought were for another, the Lord made known to me in that evening they were for me also. ♥♥♥♥

During that evening prayer meeting, she was ministered to and then began to pour her heart out in tongues and dance. It was fascinating! Our pastor just gave room for it all to play out. We were witnesses. There was a sense of travail and deliverance. Then the proclamation from prophetic lips: "The land shall dance again!"

So much more happened. So much went uncaptured. But the workings were released into the atmosphere and cannot be undone!

bless* (verb) ˈbles
blessed, blest, blessing
transitive verb
1 (religion) : to hallow or consecrate by religious rite or word
2 (religion) : to hallow with the sign of the cross
3 : to invoke divine care for
4 a : praise, glorify
b : to speak well of : approve
5 : to confer prosperity or happiness upon
6 (archaic) : protect, preserve
7 : endow, favor
Synonyms: consecrate, hallow, sacralize, sanctify

I may need to choose some of the synonyms above for use later this month because each of them has significant meaning to me.

expression** (noun) ik-ˈspre-shən
1 a : an act, process, or instance of representing in a medium (such as words) : utterance
b (1) : something that manifests, embodies, or symbolizes something else
(2) : a significant word or phrase
(3) : a mathematical or logical symbol or a meaningful combination of symbols
(4) : the detectable effect of a gene
2 a : a mode, means, or use of significant representation or symbolism
especially : felicitous or vivid indication or depiction of mood or sentiment
b (1) : the quality or fact of being expressive
(2) : facial aspect or vocal intonation as indicative of feeling
3 : an act or product of pressing out

Of all these definitions, the last highlight is the strongest to me "... a product of pressing out." Just this morning, I sat in what I am now calling "the blessing station" (my recliner) and had the wonderful opportunity of praying for and encouraging others. Two people are artists who are being pressed upon. (Add me, and there are three!)

Indeed ex + press = express, so an "exit" and "pressure" in my mind. From etymoline: literally "to press out" (source also of Italian espresso). I think of that strong, delicious elixir: coffee grounds pressed in; hot water forced through. With great pressure the grounds color the receptive water and a new substance emerges. Similar to the arts!

Maybe a definition of bless would be to "endow, fLavor"! LOL. Of course, I added the L. It is supposed to be there in my wee joke. (And I am pleased with the opportunity to use a phrase so often heard in my Ireland trip: just a wee joke!)

With that, I end this post knowing that I've dusted off an entire spider web of rabbit trails that could be pursued at any point. Pray for me! LOL. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

*"bless." Merriam-Webster.com. (31 March 2025).
**"expression." Merriam-Webster.com. (1 April 2025).

#AtoZChallenge
#DiscoverGratitude
#WordStudy

A—Appreciate : Recognize with Gratitude

2025-04-01T06:41:00.014-05:00

I am beginning again ... in many things. This is not a "new" process, but a fresh one—different than others new beginnings, which I guess is always true. Circumstances are never exactly the same.

Two years ago, I attempted to do the A-to-Z Blogging Challenge and got 1.5 posts in before I couldn't keep up. One year long ago, I think I did more but also did not finish (not even close). I remember trying to plan for a future year and collect alphabetical topics, but then they started themes.

What changed for my attempt this year?

I heard God speak to my heart earlier this year, and I have not followed through: Find something to say every day.

My nerdsy self! Oh my. I wrestled with that. Is it to be public? Private? Social media? Non-social media? (LOL! Sometimes that's my favorite kind: nonsocial.) Old-school pen and paper? Google docs? Scrivener?

So here I am again.

Because I recently had a major experience in Ireland that resulted in a new beginning, maybe I can use the GRATITUDE theme to explore in bits what a spiritual fresh start means for me. This isn't meant to entreat the masses. I just want to gather my own reflections and challenge myself to officially find something to say each day.

appreciate* (verb) ə-ˈprē-shē-ˌāt
transitive verb
1 a : to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of
b : to value or admire highly
c : to judge with heightened perception or understanding : be fully aware of
d : to recognize with gratitude
2 : to increase the value of
intransitive verb
: to increase in number or value

Before I launch into my first highlighted moment, I want to document that this was not at all what I thought God would do in Ireland. My expectation was that He would pick up with a mandate from two years prior where He asked me to petition Him regarding a prophecy I received. I did, and I kind of "left it there"—as if I threw my hands up and celebrated with a "Woohoo!" before walking out of that special place where and just counted it done. I didn't know how to tap into the execution of petitions, and am just now learning, so I thought that would be the objective for this sister trip.

[Note: Scotland in the footsteps of Saint Columba was the first trip; Ireland in the footsteps of Saint Patrick was the second.]

My first moment I choose to APPRECIATE or recognize with gratitude is marked by communion and covenant. I suppose I could go into this more in two days for the letter C! I may.

To explain this image, we were halfway through the journey and exploring Downpatrick. Our first stop was to The Saint Patrick Centre where I had the aha moment of finding a ring to express what God had done in me that weekend. Following, were in Saul Church for a time of prayer and communion, where I snapped this image with U (aka "you" to those I was "bring along" with me).

Finding a ring was only slightly premeditated. During dinner the night before, I shared with a couple the highly personal workings of the Lord in the previous days where I had betrothed myself to Him and His call for me. I made a slight comment something like, "I almost feel as if I need a ring!" In the gift shop as women perused jewelry, I remembered the statement, and there was one ring in my size. VOILA!

*"appreciate." Merriam-Webster.com. (30 March 2025).

#AtoZChallenge
#DiscoverGratitude
#WordStudy

A Flashback Before April

2025-03-31T14:59:00.001-05:00

Last night I went to a Celebration of Life. In the background is a replica of "The Travail of the Flag" by Shelli Baker-Manuel Landon. Hers was the life that transitioned beyond the veil. The link gives a brief history of the full painting and prophetic vision that spurred it. I read it just now and tears flowed yet again. This is my flashback to an artistic, inspired life that briefly intersected with my own.

I don't remember where I first heard Shelli's testimony. I remember getting her book by the same title as the painting, likely a gift from either my mom or my aunt. (By the way, my aunt and uncle, Kathleen and Jim Kaseman, are pictured in the "Parade of Saints" in the lower left area. I went up close to the replica last night and captured a quick photo.)

I also don't remember where I heard/read about her plea to God to allow her to paint like the masters. I don't think it is in the book The Travail of the Flag. But I do remember that the story and the book enraptured me! What God can do with an artistic life that is wholly given to Him moved me deeply.

It seems that I immediately penned a letter to Shelli as a result. Within days, I think, we ended up at the same ministry meeting in Rogers, Missouri. Imagine my delight! I don't recall if it was my unsent letter still unfinished that I gave to her (probably) or her reply handed to me, but she ministered to me greatly then and beyond. If I still have that letter (or letters?), it will be like gold. If I have ANY letters from those who meant so much to me in those days, they will all be like gold!

Also connected to my new, slightly obsessive interest was Billye Brim's teaching on the Blood (and I may have heard Shelli's testimony in one of her meetings). I was insatiable for old songs about the blood of Jesus. I found one extra-beautiful hymn: The Cleansing Blood; and I wrote one inspired by Billye's book: The Blood and the Glory.

As I sit with this today, I think about the extreme obedience that marked me with Shelli's story. I am struck by the prophetic power of the arts when yielded to Him. Shelli's expressions have always been empassioned and without reserve. I've always admired her boldness.

When my then-husband and I stopped traveling and dedicated ourselves to church staff, that's when I began losing track of people like Shelli. We were no longer at meetings, and it was more difficult to make those journeys once our eldest was in school. Then our second child came along, and I can only see this now when looking back, but we were headed for disaster! Chaos reigned for some time after I suddenly became a single mom. It is only now beginning to straighten out after 20 years.

In recent years, I was reunited with Shelli (now with husband Barry Landon) during my time as a writer at Rhema. I recall being excited and praying for their potential way to help during COVID ... only I wasn't able to help spread the word much or make connections because it was just before my world went wild again. I stepped away from Rhema for what I thought would be a short time to help my dad. He passed on, however, and my disabled brother needed someone to assist him, so my back-and-forth life began. That continued until I crashed after my brother's burial. Only now have I somewhat resurrected.

Recently I was thinking about Barry and Shelli—wondering what became of the COVID device to purify air and hoping it had blessed them. The thought has been familiar, so I realize they have been on my heart for a while. I wish I had known what to do with that thought. I find that often when someone passes, they are on my heart for a time (or quite some time) before.

Amazingly, God helped me to see a post about her memorial service. I went. The stories resonated once again, and I am challenged to set my own artistry free in God's hand. Shelli's life is so large! I struggle to think of someone who is so specifically inspiring to me. I was once a budding, multi-gifted creative. I don't know if I will be exactly that again, but I am on the precipice of just such a journey.

I noticed the celtic carvings on her harp—so serendipitous to my return from Ireland the week before. Renewal. Restoration. Rededication. Revival. Shelli continues to urge me forward. ♥♥♥♥

Confessions of an Introvert on a Sunday Morning

2025-03-31T09:17:00.000-05:00

Public is difficult. People who know me from my youth find it surprising that I do not consider myself an extrovert. In a way, it surprises me too.

At some point, I found some kind of safety in hiding. It wasn't conscious.

It's easier.

A word that has come up recently and consistently is trauma. I don't know what to do with that word, honestly. And I don't really think I'm supposed to seek out something to do with it. I'll trust God to reveal what I truly need to know about it.

Speaking of words, there has always been safety in words for me. Yes, words can be damaging. I know. I know. But when I needed relief, a retreat into words always revived me—as long as I gave myself room to luxuriate.

I remember in the late 80s after two partial colleges and before marriage, I took "vacations" on the top of my bunk bed with books, notebooks, and a freshly baked loaf of bread. I think that's what I attempt to do on Sunday mornings when I can't seem to make myself get out the door.

But it's a bit different now. I sit with words, yes. The distractions are higher. The consequences are weightier. It isn't just a luxury, though it could be. It's more of a wrestling match.

Even this post, which I originally thought would bring some expression and discovery just hung there after the previous paragraph for a day. Now I'm here just to sew it up and move on. *sigh*

Death and Life of Spring

2025-03-27T09:29:00.002-05:00

Spring is here. My hacked willow has plenty of dead branches which distracted me when I went to get the mail on Tuesday. I snapped off many little limbs until one popped me in the eye. Technically it was UNDER my eye, but it made me wonder if I'd have a bruise. (I didn't.) At least it's not evident enough to attract my attention when I glance by a bathroom mirror.

With one broken branch, I attempted to clear out a bit of a crook in the tree. Ants live there. I abandoned that too. But I did manage to take photos of tiny beauty present at my feet.

I'm resisting the urge to edit photos and make them pretty. If I had time, I'd do that and write something substantial. But I know if I did not take this quick opportunity, the moments may be lost for a very long time aside from the photos that had writerly thoughts once stirring in my head.

Tightness Melted

2025-03-06T09:37:00.006-06:00

I didn't realize how tense I was inside. I'm not "that" type of person--uptight, anxious, worried (or so I think). But something similar happens in me, and I'm beginning to notice.

Take yesterday. My schedule changed when I agreed to take my daughter to a medical appointment. Not a big deal, but I wasn't as productive as I would have liked, and I missed some church activities. Everything seemed "normal" until I was leaving. I opened the door to the garage and saw this:

IT MELTED ME! Instead of being met by chaos and things that need attention, I had an intentional scene. Granted, it isn't much by way of design and decor, but it MINISTERED peace to me. Tension I didn't know I had melted away. That's how I identified the tightness that wrapped itself around my thoughts and breath. I noticed when it left.

I looked up "minister" in the online Webster's 1913 dictionary:

Min"is*ter, v. i.
1. To act as a servant, attendant, or agent; to attend and serve; to perform service in any office, sacred or secular. Matt. xx. 28.
2. To supply or to things needful; esp., to supply consolation or remedies. Matt. xxv. 44.

This little grouping of mostly discarded items is so small and imperfect that I want to apologize for it to the design world, yet I cannot deny the powerful moment I received yesterday! It was a supply of something needful, a consolation, a remedy to an unknowingly rigid, stressed mind from humble design!

It also ties into a phrase that is resurfacing in my thoughts—that an object must serve me, not me serve it. I'll have to write the Amish telephone story and link it here. That's where it all started long ago in the '90s.

Even this morning, as I contemplated the amount of loose tea to use when making a full bodum pot (since I cannot have caffeine the day before my stress test), I hovered a wooden tablespoon with a second helping and thought, It is here to serve you. Use what you desire.

I always desire a strong flavor. The second tablespoon went in.

Agh! This flies in the face of historical me! Conservation is my usual ruling impetus. Make it last. Get your money's worth. Function is probably right behind that. Everything serves a purpose. No fluff. I've cut off so much desire over the years that it's been hard to identify now. But there is a Guide who helps me. That prompt used in a micro setting like tea could be answered. To be honest, I did falter for a moment. I may have even limited my desire by conservation and function, but at least I stretched it a little bit! I suppose it's like a muscle that hasn't been used for a long time. Flacid. Unusable. But small those small stimuli and exercise can probably prod it back to life again.

When it comes to function, what if the purpose of an object or a setting is to minister? This ministered peace. Certain things I own minister ease, like the massive food processor I received at Christmas versus the mortar and pestle that I attempted to mangle Thai ginger with last week. Yes, I intended to simplify and live like I do in Guatemala—All I need is a broom, towel, and a bucket!—but here I am already cluttered with ease.

So the other day, when I daydreamed about that pink rug and making a garage entrance that pleased me (kind of like how I feel when I see my pink front door entry), it was also not the usual me. A fluffy pink carpet in the garage? That didn't even qualify as logic. But I SAW IT in my imagination. And I'm learning to take action on those things.

[Side note: I just crossed my arms and was considering how far to take this when I heard, "Take your pleasure. Like all things, it is here to serve you." Oh yeah!]

I am in the midst of a rabbit trail stemming from the word minister that led to sacerdotal duties. At some definition/etymology/root/origin note, I thought I read "sacerdotal life" in a short, descriptive list. It wasn't actually there, but again, I SAW IT, and now I'm acting on it. It carries the feeling that this is a part of the "gentle warrior" puzzle (and I should link it to that blog, I suppose). Wait! I know. I'll finish my rabbit trail and post it on that blog, then link back to it here. It strikes me as a lifestyle-worthy mindset.

I just had the luxurious thought I can write ANYTHING! LOL. It's like a kid with a crayon and the paper is not just one standard sheet, but a whole roll.

Seriously. I edit myself so constantly that while I was elaborating a few paragraphs up, the balance my mind was contemplating in words and grammar and a myriad of things too numerous to list, it felt like a blanket had been flipped up and "snapped" to clear it.

This blog is here to serve me.
I can write anything I want.
Even grammar can go by the wayside.
Punctuation police don't exist.
Take your pleasure.
Write what you desire.

The Ongoing Reorganization Project

2025-02-20T13:51:00.003-06:00

It's all on deck. The shelves were the most solid part of the reorganization project. I bough them at an estate sale and painted them with an "Iona color" from my design palette (if I can call it that—just my collection of colors that resonated with me). They were temporarily organized until ... the mini whirlwind.

Astrid has a thing about these bookshelves. Everything at her two-year-old level is attempted to be pushed back. I believe I will start organizing them that way. It's becoming a chore to reset after the grandkids are here.

So I started in. there were a few things hidden behind books as well. I retrieved more books and a picture frame.

By the way, the stack of Danielle Steel books in the bottom middle have a special purpose. I do not read them. But they are HUGE and heavy enough to flatten and dry flower petals from my father's funeral in 2020. I found them at his local library giveaway cart and snatched them up quick—FREE BOOKS! So if anyone is nosy enough to notice, no I do not read romance novels. I have no clue if the author is good, but she is obviously popular! I'm just thankful for big books with matte pages.

The huge painting was done by my maternal grandmother, who painted it from slides taken by my parents while they were in the Peace Corps in Micronesia. My grandfather framed it, possibly with barn wood. He also created the empty frame to the right, which I will fill with ... I don't know yet!

I'm testing the large painting to see if it goes with the room. The longer I leave it there, the more it seems like it belongs. But I may put it over the piano. Then again, I'd love to have the piano more moveable and bring it "in here" (the dining room behind the firelpace) to make a music room.

The items on top are all awaiting some form of attention.

I'll start giving it to them today!

One Little Opening

2025-02-12T10:50:00.036-06:00

My Broccoli Has Issues

It's not a science yet, but I've endeavored to make Aldi my garden. By this, I mean having a place to go pluck up ripe produce and use it.

HOWEVER, a hole in the packaging leaves broccoli vulnerable to mold! This is why I feel like I need to no longer plan ahead and think daily.

One Little Light

2024-12-27T11:56:00.001-06:00

Christmas--the first in my "Iona House"--was different than I anticipated. If not for the candlelight portion of the previous Sunday service at my church, I would feel as if a large part went missing. Usually we attend such a service on Christmas Eve. This year, we didn't. Yet that night, when my daughter and I were both exhausted by the previous day of baking cookies with the little ones, I was glad to subtract it from the schedule.

What happened instead (the very thing I wanted to avoid) was that our family time was focused mainly on opening gifts.

It was better this year, but still not the simple and peaceful "Iona" version I longed for.

We read a portion of the Christmas story before we opened gifts. I should have previously found the children's book I know I have somewhere. At least it would have had images for them to look at. (Add to checklist for next year.)

We ended with the main gift I wanted to give to each of the families--a $50 bill and declaration of JUBILEE for each. To me, this is symbolic of restoration for all and even a seed for my own restoration.

But I don't want a restoration to what was. I want a restoration of God's original design--for all of us!

NO weapon EVERY tongue

2024-09-26T09:59:00.002-05:00

I got derailed in a transcription recently when the speaker declared, "No weapon formed against us will prosper!" I went on a rabbit trail and didn't return until today. When I saw where I was, I immediately remembered what happened (but never happened). I intended to write about the power of such words.

Even in this moment, I will make it very short because I need to return back to it. But I can still feel the power of similar words from a female police officer standing in an intersection on a rainy day. My "jubilee car" had just been smashed. The driver and one remaining witness said it was my fault, but I had a green light (and my witness left--and his phone number never connected). That woman was all business and did her duty with strict efficiency, but spoke to my tears only once: "No weapon formed against you shall prosper." Her voice was authoritative and factual--just like she had been throughout the incident. I believe I made this card after that.

[NOTE: I did make it that day--05-07-2019 according to the photo.]

So once again, I am flung back to her voice and words as I face the most devastating "stuff" blow yet.

Bad news keeps coming regarding my home. And I am declaring this again. Maybe I should make this into a mug and sell it to make some money! (I want to make a font too, but that will take a long time.) OH HEY! I could do a digital download of this very item for people who may want to help? Just a quick $1 to download it? No. I need to make a nice one. I'm babbling now.

This post seems to solidify that I need a place to just babble! LOL. I find myself becoming more and more of a hermit.

How slow do you want the fire to burn?

2023-09-25T22:47:00.003-05:00

Just a little over a year ago, I had an urge to set up my special writing place. One person I wanted to tell was my aunt because I had been thinking how long it took me to get back to a place of writing--FOR ME. That urge happened just before she passed away. I probably wrote about it on Instagram, but tonight I'm writing here because I don't want it to post to Facebook, which is where my Instagram accounts lead.

I am really hurting.

Ironically this blog started because it was a connection with family and friends 20 years ago while I and my kids went through a massive crisis. Now I'm using it as a silent place while yet another crisis wave splashes on the shores. It hasn't stopped.

I came here to write and gasped at the last blog. I forgot I had written it until I saw it. Sanctuary.

This place that was to become a sanctuary is about to be "condemned." The floors and appliances will be torn out. Most of everything will follow the parade to a massive dumpster. The roof might be torn off as well, and who knows what the mold experts will find in the vents. It will be rebuilt, of course. It will be restored. Tonight I contemplate this:

How slow do you want the fire to burn? I feel like that's the question I must answer for the helpful few who hold matches ready. Their estimates calculate the dollars and time to destroy and restore.

On the other side, I will curate the life I desire for myself. But wow is it hard to make these decisions.

A - Abide (Resilience A-to-Z Blog Challenge)

2023-04-01T10:47:00.047-05:00

I intended to write through April. It is April 7. Why have I not yet written? I forgot! YEP. It just left my mind until I was in my notebook yesterday and thought of a word to write about. I went to my list, and a vague memory of writing the date came to me . . . IT'S ALREADY APRIL! What kind of fog have I been in?

-----

And now it is April 9. I will reset the publishing date to April 1 so posts stay in order and show up on the correct day each was issued. But just know ... I'm all over the place! Maybe I will catch up today. It's Easter, after all, and all about resurrection. Will I resurrect this intention?

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This writing challenge has a theme: resilience. I noticed that the word resilience skyrocketed with the pandemic. That surprised me! It seems like a solid, steady, evergreen word to me. This is the groundwork. I have highlighted portions that stood out to me from the merriam-webster.com website. This is my analogy. Have I had setbacks? Yes! Has my life been deformed? Oh my. YES! Do I want to leap back and recover my true self? Yes again!

resilience noun

re·sil·ience // ri-ˈzil-yən(t)s

1 : the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress

2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change

Using Resilience Outside of Physics

In physics, resilience is the ability of an elastic material (such as rubber or animal tissue) to absorb energy (such as from a blow) and release that energy as it springs back to its original shape. The recovery that occurs in this phenomenon can be viewed as analogous to a person's ability to bounce back after a jarring setback. The word resilience derives from the present participle of the Latin verb resilire, meaning "to jump back" or "to recoil." The base of resilire is salire, a verb meaning "to leap" that also pops up in the etymologies of such sprightly words as sally and somersault.

“Resilience Definition & Meaning.” Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Accessed April 9, 2023. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resilience.

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And now to the real blog of what I want to say/document (or whatever this turns into).

ABIDE

The definition of this word disappointed me. There is a lot of tolerance and even suffering involved! The most simple summary I found of abide is this: "to be able to live with or put up with." (vocabulary.com)

I expected cozy words. I wanted to snuggle up into abide like a secret sanctuary where I thrive in peace and comfort. My original thought was that if I have a place to abide where I flourish, even if it is only inwardly, it enables me to have resilience—a place where hope is alive and tasted daily, a place of rest and refreshment, a place to regroup, reflect, and eventually bounce back or be reborn.

This word abide is more like the wheels-to-the-ground working of resilience. It's rugged. It's war. To abide is to endure a vigorous onslaught without yielding or submitting. (dictionary.com)

But there's also an oddity. I found another word for abide: brook.

As it turns out, there's a use of brook that must be somewhat archaic! Either brook or abide can be used when it comes to topics like tolerate, allow, accept, bear, endure. (thesaurus.plus) Of course, I stuck my nose into it a bit. There are all kinds of nuances in the etymology that intrigue me. Maybe tomorrow's B-word will change to brook!

My original plan of diving into key words to resilience just jumped track! I've got a mystery on my hands.

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#AtoZchallenge #2023 #resilience #abide

PS. And if you like notebooks, these are my current favorite. The covers are from my night walks in holiday lights.

That Feeling . . .

2023-03-24T07:02:00.002-05:00

You know that feeling that's hard to describe because it doesn't fit neatly into words? Yeah, that one. It doesn't matter if it's happy or sad (except that sad is sad) because it defies a description.

How many times do we just gloss over those? How many times to we obsess? I don't know. But what I do sense in myself is that I'm tired of doing either one. I'm tired of being tethered to extremes while the river of life is rushing by making currents around me.

For decades, my familiar zone has been crisis. I don't like to say "comfort zone" because it's not comfortable. But in some ways priorities are easier. They present themselves surrounded by disaster. I think it's easier to stack sandbags against a flood of disaster than to dream of a new life.

So here I am on yet another "adventure" of breakthrough looking for the sandbags and some sort of directive of where to start stacking. I'm realizing that the only disasters on the way are tied to other people--people I love, people who have been battered by life alongside me, people who have different hurts, and people who cope in ways I can't comprehend.

I don't have the strength for this.

I know. I know. I can do all things through Christ. The joy of the Lord is my strength. But now I'm asking for what? There is a grace for God's will. Is His will for me to stay in these trenches? What does that look like without me being an enabler? Am I to rise up myself and later offer a hand? How do I stop the erosion? Should I stop it?

At one point I decided to not do anything until I knew what to do.

Sigh. That seems like a neverending place to be. So I feel like I need to shift--just not now, not in a sleep-deprived state. For now, I think I need to be satisfied knowing that I expressed something instead of glossing over the undefined discontent in my soul.

Win Life!

2022-04-22T09:23:00.002-05:00

Today I read this in The One Year Bible at Luke 21:19 (NIV): "Stand firm, and you will win life." My curiosity was flagged. I've learned to listen to this curious prompt. Something wonderful is usually on the other side. Today it was not a strong urge, but I wondered what kind of life I would win. Zoe perhaps?

I went to my favorite app, Blue Letter Bible, and looked it up. It has an interlinear feature so I can see what original words were translated into our English language. At first, I thought I entered the wrong text. I double-checked. Nope! It was correct. I scrolled for context. Yep. Still correct: "In your patience possess ye your souls" (Luke 21:19 KJV).

Psyche (G5590) is the word translated souls. That wasn't surprising, but I was looking for the word life. Interesting. And truly it does mean the "breath of life." But that's a bigger study than what I have time for this morning. It is part of a large curiosity that I have yet to unravel: the difference between soul and spirit (because the original words are not just translated for one or the other, they seem to interchange with our translation of them).

I decided to look up patience first. Hypomonē (G5281) comes from hypomenō (G5278), which is a compound of two words: hypo (G5259) "under" and menō (G3306) "remain." So the first level, hypomonē, I saw Strong's definitions present it immediately as "a cheerful (or hopeful) endurance." I like that! Not just endurance, but cheerful or hopeful! It went on to add: "constancy:—enduring, patience, patient continuance (waiting)." The word this came from (hypomenō, just a swap of two letters -monē vs. -menō) means basically to remain, or as Strong's more fully says: "to stay under (behind), i.e. remain; figuratively, to undergo, i.e. bear (trials), have fortitude, persevere:—abide, endure, (take) patient(-ly), suffer, tarry behind." No mention of cheerful or hopeful here! I wonder how that difference of the end of the word brings out those characteristics?

So what does it mean to possess or win? Here's to Strong's again: κτάομαι ktáomai, ktah'-om-ahee; a primary verb; to get, i.e. acquire (by any means; own):—obtain, possess, provide, purchase. It's a primary verb, so there's not a lot of vertical digging. But I did discover a couple of interesting lateral finds! Thayer's Greek Lexicon included these two: to acquire, get or procure a thing for oneself; and to acquire a wife versus a harlot! What does this mean to me? Commitment. Exclusivity. I've heard people mention that they would marry themselves. LOL. Maybe this is they key? Possess your soul—exclusively for you—commit to it!

NIV: "Stand firm, and you will win life."

KJV: "In your patience possess ye your souls."

AMPC: "By your steadfastness and patient endurance you shall win the true life of your souls."

ESV: "By your endurance you will gain your lives."

TLB: "For if you stand firm, you will win your souls."

For other word nerds like me, you might enjoy seeing how the same word for endurance shows up in other New Testament verses. There are a lot of benefits connected! These are from ESV and the links take you to Blue Letter Bible if you want to study any of them. You're welcome!

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Luk 8:15

As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.

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Luk 21:19

By your endurance you will gain your lives.

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Rom 2:7

to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life;

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Rom 5:3

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,

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Rom 5:4

and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,

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Rom 8:25

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

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Rom 15:4

For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

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Rom 15:5

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus,

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2Co 1:6

If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.

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2Co 6:4

but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities,

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2Co 12:12

The signs of a true apostle were performed among you with utmost patience, with signs and wonders and mighty works.

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Col 1:11

being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy;

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1Th 1:3

remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

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2Th 1:4

Therefore we ourselves boast about you in the churches of God for your steadfastness and faith in all your persecutions and in the afflictions that you are enduring.

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2Th 3:5

May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.

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1Ti 6:11

But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.

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2Ti 3:10

You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness,

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Tit 2:2

Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.

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Heb 10:36

For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

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Heb 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

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Jas 1:3

for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

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Jas 1:4

And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

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Jas 5:11

Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.

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2Pe 1:6

and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness,

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Rev 1:9

I, John, your brother and partner in the tribulation and the kingdom and the patient endurance that are in Jesus, was on the island called Patmos on account of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus.

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Rev 2:2

“‘I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false.

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Rev 2:3

I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary.

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Rev 2:19

“‘I know your works, your love and faith and service and patient endurance, and that your latter works exceed the first.

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Rev 3:10

Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth.

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Rev 13:10

If anyone is to be taken captive,
to captivity he goes;
if anyone is to be slain with the sword,
with the sword must he be slain. Here is a call for the endurance and faith of the saints.

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Rev 14:12

Here is a call for the endurance of the saints, those who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus

Chaos

2022-03-25T14:07:00.001-05:00

Swing blindly. Hope for the best. Attack. Retreat.
What do you do when chaos strikes?

[I found this draft when I came to take a peek at my sorely neglected blog. I'm posting it now because its prettier than what people see now when they might visit!]