Amy Mac

The Top 5 Mistakes on College Essays — and How to Fix Them

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Fri, 21 Sep 2018 11:55:00 +0000

Because this moment will be here before you know it

As a professional writer, I’m often asked to help seniors with their college application essays. As kids begin the application process in earnest, they start panicking: “I’m not sure my GPA/ACT/SAT scores are good enough to guarantee admission into my dream college and I need my essays to PICK UP SOME SLACK.” Parents are equally anxious, but more in the strain of “if you use poor grammar on a college essay it will humiliate you, me, your teachers, and everyone we have ever known, ever.”

I have great news for all you seniors and parents of seniors! I have read many, many, MANY essays over the years, and generally speaking grammar isn’t usually a big problem. I also have bad news: generally speaking, grammar isn’t usually a big problem. I say that’s bad news because grammar mistakes are easy to spot and easy to fix. The most common mistakes I see aren’t always as straightforward, but they will make an otherwise winning essay nearly unreadable … not exactly the shining endorsement piece you want to send off to college admissions, eh?

I’ve boiled down the most common mistakes I see on essays into my top 5 favorite hits — take a look and be sure if I edit your essay I won’t find any of the following:

It takes far too long to get to the point. Admissions officers are busy. Very busy. They are plowing through piles and piles of essays, so don’t make them dig for the point of yours … because they won’t. Once you land on a decent idea for an essay ask yourself “what’s my point?” Once you’re crystal clear about the point you’re trying to convey, write this in nice, big bold letters at the top of your draft for reference — then make sure everything else you say ties back to The Point. Just doing this one thing solves SO many problems. Trust me, it works … I use it on every piece I write. Once you have your Point, some iteration of it should be in the first few sentences — and certainly no further down than the first sentence of your second paragraph.

Making the reader do your legwork. Whether it’s The Point or a supporting point, tell your reader why it matters. Don’t throw something like “the ‘tiny house’ trend is a horrible idea” against the wall and think it will stick — you must tell the reader WHY it’s a horrible idea. For example:

“I spent last summer living with my entire family in an RV smaller than most suburban master bathrooms, and I promise the small house trend won’t last. Why? Because living in uncomfortably close quarters lacking privacy is a recipe for disaster for any family. Or it would be if you had enough space to cook and eat a meal, which you definitely do not.”

See that? The writer makes an assertion: “…the small house trend won’t last” then backs it up with a sensible answer.

The lead sucks. If you aren’t engaging your reader right out of the gate, you’re done before you start. A great lead creates an emotional connection with the reader and makes them want to keep reading. It’s the most important part of your essay, so keep plugging away until it’s just right.

The flow is off. You’re telling a story, and stories don’t necessarily happen in chronological order. In other words, just because an event happened first on the calendar doesn’t mean it happens first in an essay. Make sure your paragraphs connect with each other and that they are ordered in a way that brings the reader along smoothly — one paragraph builds on the next, which builds on the next, until you pull the entire story together in your conclusion.

It’s a cookie cutter essay. Could someone change out your details with theirs and have pretty much the same essay? Then you have a cookie cutter on your hands. The point of your essay is to guarantee you stand out in a sea of thousands. Don’t rely on standbys like sports, mission trips or tanking a class. These admissions counselors are trying to get to know you, to take a peek into your story to see if you’re a good fit for their school. Get creative. Tell them something they didn’t read two essays ago. Deglaze their eyes.

Avoiding these top college essay mistakes ensures you’ll have a leg up when admissions readers are plowing through their too-big stack of essays. Now … get busy!

If you, or someone you love, needs help editing, proofing or, for that matter, starting a college essay, shoot me a note at amymacpr {at} comcast {dot} net and I’ll be happy to gently and lovingly bully them through the process.

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Button-fly Jeans and Beer are a Terrible Combo (and other things I learned in college)

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Fri, 01 Jun 2018 18:47:00 +0000

There's a delightful tradition at my daughters' high school called "Silver Envelopes," where family, friends, former teachers and the like are asked to write a letter to a graduating senior, which are then gathered up and delivered to each soon-to-be-alum the day before they graduate (which hats off to whomever devised that timing, because talk about maximum emotional impact!!) My daughter received letters from aunts, uncles, cousins, friends at U. of Miami and Georgia Tech, all the way to letters from my sorority sisters telling her to have fun at college but to know they'd be watching (in a loving yet lightly threatening tone). Anywho, I was asked to write a letter for one of my favorite kids (whom I've known for years but is not my blood relative), and —lacking any better ideas — I decided to offer up some information I wish someone had passed along to me at her age. Perhaps some other kid somewhere might find it useful, too:

It’s okay to want everything to be perfect. It’s also okay when things aren’t.
To that end, get comfortable with the phrase “good enough.” Saying that about projects of moderate importance allows you to perfect the ones that really, really count. And honestly, it’s the only way to get everything done and not lose your mind. This remains true for the rest of your life.
Walk everywhere on campus.
Having lots of lead time on a project can be a good thing, but you may find you do your best work under tight deadlines. Play to your strengths.
Never wear button-fly jeans or bodysuits that snap at the crotch out drinking. No one has the dexterity to handle those fashion choices after a cocktail.
Listen more. Really listen. Lean in, make eye contact, ask questions, and soak in people’s stories. It’s such a treat.
If you find yourself withering from a challenge, ask yourself “what am I so afraid of, and why?” then “what’s the very worst that can happen?” If that scenario ends with everyone still alive, try it. Never let being afraid you aren’t capable of a challenge stop you from moving forward in life. You’re more than capable.
You’re a leader. Lead.
You’re a problem solver, which is a great strength – but not all problems are yours to solve. It’s okay to push back and let others figure things out for themselves.
Routines and schedules are great, but don’t let sticking to them keep you from enjoying non-scheduled opportunities like road trips and impromptu gatherings.
A case of bronchitis was never cured in a bar. Stay home and rest.
College is the last time you and your friends will be in the exact same place at the same time (both personally and geographically). Appreciate the fact you all live within five square miles of each other, are in the academic trenches together, and there are (please God) zero small children in the mix. Top-secret military maneuvers will come together with more ease than trying to coordinate schedules with your friends from college after you’ve graduated.
“Input noted” is a perfectly fine response to unsolicited advice and to anyone who says you can’t do something. Unless it’s a cop. In that case, keep your hands where they can be seen and do what you’re told.
In the words of the great Kenny Rogers, know when to walk away, and know when to run. The instant someone doesn’t appreciate how amazing you are, be militant about getting rid of them. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
If anyone fails to recognize what a smart, accomplished, kind, gorgeous, hard-working sweetheart of a young lady you are, please send them to me so I can set them straight.
Always remember: no matter what, you got this.

-->

XOXO —

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Feeling Homicidal? Have Some Chicken Noodle Soup!

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Mon, 10 Jul 2017 23:21:00 +0000

Hello friends,

Two things for your consideration: first, today I made chicken noodle soup for a friend who is ill. I wanted her to be able to see what ingredients are in the soup, so I made her this handy-dandy Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe Card and thought perhaps you need a yummy chicken noodle soup recipe on a cute card. Then I thought "but it's July, no one wants soup in July! I'll wait until October or January and post it then." Then I decided who was I kidding -- I'd totally forget I had even designed this little card at that point and then I would sorta remember I had indeed written down my recipe for chicken noodle soup somewhere, and WHERE WAS IT, and when all else fails I'll check to see if I posted it on my blog and BOOM. Here it will be. So, please tuck this recipe back for when you need to feed sick people soup or for when it's cold and you need to feed yourself soup. Or if you want to make it and bring it to me anytime, that will do too -- I'll eat piping hot soup any time of the year, especially if I don't have to make it.

Next, if I ever murder someone (which I won't, because not only am I aggressively non-violent, but also murder seems like it would be super messy. And icky. Also, jail seems less than ideal.) ... but if I ever DO murder someone, it will be a teenager who has just said "there is NOTHINGGGGG TO EAT IN THIS HOUSE" within 4 hours of someone restocking the pantry with a carload of groceries. Seriously.

XOXO!

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If Laughter Is the Best Medicine ...

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Sat, 15 Apr 2017 12:47:00 +0000

Very smart people say laughter is the best medicine. Makes sense to me. I mean unless you're taking prescription meds. Or allergy meds during pollen season (aka, year-round). Definitely keep taking those. Anywho, I have gathered up a few posts that readers have told me gives them the giggles ... ya know, in case you forgot to take your Advil or something. Have a great weekend!

The Day My Tire Fell Off in Georgia

Why There Will Never Be a Song Called "I Woke Up in the Morning Feeling Like Amy Mac"

Margaritaville

Possums in Georgia

That Time My Middle-School-Age Children Took the Bus to High School

Yes, There Is Such a Thing as a Bad Compliment

Mixing Drinks

Sharks Eat Kids from Church Retreats First

If You've Hot Glued Anything in the Name of Easter, Please Don't Read This Post

I May Be Related to Justin Timberlake

Closing the Generation Gap, One Odor at a Time

If the Saying Were "The Early Bird Gets Tory Burch Sandals" More People Would Wake Up Early

Google Search Gone Wrong

You Really Can't Take Us Anywhere

Southerners and Snow Days

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Weekend Walks and Traveling Bookstores

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Sat, 29 Oct 2016 12:39:00 +0000

If you're in the Atlanta area this weekend please, please treat yourself to Chihuly in the Garden at Atlanta Botanical Gardens. I went for the third time yesterday with my now 17-year-old daughter (whatttt?!) and it was sublime. The weather is perfect, the gardens are beautiful with the leaves just starting to turn, and then Chihuly. Ah, Chihuly. If you aren't familiar with Dale Chihuly's fine art in the form of glass, please brush up here. You'll be glad you did. My first Chihuly exhibit was his permanent one in Seattle, right in the shadow of the Space Needle. Ever since, I've been in awe. I mean, how do you make glass do that?! It's breathtaking. Hurry, hurry if you're going in Atlanta because the exhibit ends this Sunday!

If you're in the Nashville area this weekend, stop in at Parnassus Books. It's a fantastic independent bookstore co-owned by novelist Ann Patchett that is so nifty it has become its own little destination. As y'all know, I love to read and therefore love anything and everything that encourages people of all ages to grab a book and get a little lost in its pages. So the fact that Parnassus now has a traveling bookstore — with dogs in tow— tickles me pink.

Speaking of Ann Patchett, if you're looking for something to read this weekend grab a copy of her newest novel, Commonwealth (you can grab a signed copy here.) It starts with what I think may be the best opening line of a novel ever: "The christening party took a turn when Albert Cousins arrived with gin." I mean how could you not want to know more about a fellow showing up with a bottle of liquor to a religious celebration?

What's going on wherever you are this fine autumn weekend?

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Netflix, No Chill

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Fri, 19 Aug 2016 13:30:00 +0000

The above shows are all in my Netflix queue. They are all worth a look-see if you haven't already. Also, The Office is on a very strong repeat loop but I'm assuming you've already watched and re-watched that one?!

Y'all, I have been aggressively watching The West Wing on Netflix. I love rediscovering shows and watching them back-to-back at an alarming clip. (I'm pretty sure this new habit will give me some difficulties when the fall TV season starts and I have to wait an entire week for the next episode, but whateves.) For the last few weeks my husband has really had a difficult time understanding why I "would watch 10-year-old shows when the Olympics are on." To which I reply "um, I already know what happens ... you know the Olympics aren't live, right?"

I'm pleased to say with the exception of boxy pant suits for the ladies, some hysterically out-of-date technology in the form of very chunky cell phones, and the prolific use of the phrase "I'll have my pager," the show stands the test of time quite well. Almost as well as Rob Lowe, who hasn't changed since he was Soda Pop in The Outsiders circa 1983.

1983 2016

All the actors are great, but Martin Sheen nails the role of President Bartlett. And Aaron Sorkin's writing and storytelling is a masterpiece in every episode. Political inclinations aside, I wonder if they could work together to be the next president? I think it could be a viable alternative to the current situation. No? Maybe?

I'm always looking for something fun to watch, so tell me ... what are your favorite shows?

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Super Yummy Appetizer (or, Frankly, A Light Dinner): Steak and Caramelized Onion Crostini

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Fri, 29 Jul 2016 17:46:00 +0000

You know that moment of desperation when you realize you have to bring an appetizer to a party that starts in about an hour, thus negating your ability to go to the store, so you're going to have to work with what you have? (No? You do NOT know that feeling? Hmm. You better go to a different blog. This one may give you palpitations.) I had that moment not so long ago when I was going to a Shrimp and Crawfish soiree. Unfortunate fact: my husband is allergic to shellfish and seafood isn't my thing. So, I needed something with a little heft to round out what was looking to be an "all corn" type of dinner. Here's what I came up with ... and not to pat myself on the back, but — yum. These are filling and tasty, and I'm sure they are also calorie, fat and carb free so ... enjoy!!!

Steak and Caramelized Onion Crostini:

Ingredients

2 ounces cream cheese, softened
4 ounces sour cream
1/2 cup crumbled Gorgonzola cheese
1 large white onion, caramelized (my favorite recipe here)
1 loaf of cuban or baguette bread sliced into 1/8 - 1/4 inch slices
Olive oil to drizzle
2-3 ounces steak, marinated, grilled and chopped

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Drizzle bread with olive oil and bake on top rack until lightly toasted (around 3-4 minutes). Remove bread from oven, leaving oven at 450 deg. Stir together cream cheese, sour cream, 1/4 cup of the Gorgonzola and half the onion. Add salt and pepper to taste. Spread atop toasted bread, top with steak and remaining Gorgonzola and caramelized onions. Pop back into oven for 4-5 minutes or until cheese has melted.

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Hot Reads

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Fri, 15 Jul 2016 12:38:00 +0000

I recently took a design class and y'all will likely fall victim to my practice handiwork (see above).

If you are reading this post from the continental United States, my understanding is each and every one of us is in for hot, hot temps in the coming weeks. In fact, the words "heat dome" have been used. Not entirely sure what this is, but it sounds horrible and like it might have something to do with Stephen King. So my recommendation is to find yourself a shade tree or a cool spot indoors and try to move around as little as possible. Forego all temptation to be active by having a good book in hand.

Try one of these I recently read:

Fiction
The Summer Before the War, Helen Simonson

Eligible, Curtis Sittenfeld

Journey to Munich, Jacqueline Winspear (this is from the terrific Maisie Dobbs series. It's a great stand-alone book, but even better to treat yourself to the whole series starting with book one!)

Swans of Fifth Avenue, Melanie Benjamin

Non-Fiction
Sum It Up, Pat Summitt

Why Not Me?, Mindy Kaling

Cure, Jo Marchant

AP Language and Composition Assigned Summer Reading
(I'm not even kidding ... several of my faves are on their reading list! Amazing, captivating books were never assigned when I was in school. I'm retroactively jealous.)

Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer (this is on my top 10 favorite books)

Hellhound on His Trail, Hampton Sides (this is a gripping non-fiction novel about the stalking and assassination of MLK Jr. Also a top-ten personal favorite — and the book my daughter's reading for her assignment, much to my delight.)

The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg

If You've Never Read These, the Time Has Come

Gone With the Wind, Margaret Mitchell (and no, it's not okay to just watch the movie!)

To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

The Entire Harry Potter Series, J.K. Rowling

What's your plan to stay cool this weekend? Any books to recommend?

XO —

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When the Mice Are Away (this has nothing to do with pest control, FYI)

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Mon, 11 Jul 2016 18:13:00 +0000

I love summer because FRESH FRUIT.

When the girls were newly-minted two-and-four-year-olds, Jake took them to see their great grandmother while she was visiting family in South Carolina. Since this was an overnight visit taking place on Dec. 22, I stayed behind to get as much holiday prep done as possible while loosened from the inherent dangers of assembling Christmas gifts in the same house as Santa-believing preschoolers.

Can I please tell you how much I got done in 24 hours? Gifts were assembled and wrapped, the house was clean top-to-bottom, I knocked out a couple of projects that had been on hold for some time, and I don't remember what else — I probably ran a marathon or invented something or mastered a new skill like tightrope walking — or maybe not, but the point is I accomplished SO MUCH that to this day I remember that feeling of happy satisfaction all these years later.

Guess what? One of my kids is at the beach, the other is at the lake, the hubby is at work, and I have zero pressing work deadlines. This is unheard of. The realization that I can get tons done today without worrying about feeding anyone other than myself, driving anyone across town for a practice of some sort, explaining that being unable to attend a swimsuit sale does not constitute an international crisis, and being fairly confident I'll end the day with precisely as much cash as I started is exhilarating.

Now, before anyone gets the wrong idea — I'm actually one of those people who enjoy being with their kids. They are just the kind of funny, smart, helpful, easygoing people I love being around. And I know in just a few short years I'll be complaining I have TOO MUCH time where I'm not being interrupted for input of some sort while I'm mid-project. I'll be sad when I find my razor clean and sharp and actually in my shower. Or I don't have to worry about the horrors of accidentally trying to shimmy (unsuccessfully) into one of my teenage daughter's jeans. And I'm not nagging anyone to please clean their room/put their own dishes into the dishwasher/"turn out the lights for heaven's sake!"

But this one day that I have to enjoy the silence truly makes me appreciate those less silent ones more. I'm getting to blog (!!), knocking out a couple of projects that involve hammers and power tools, running errands and organizing closets. Will I be thrilled when they start rolling in tomorrow? Absolutely. Will I also be tickled with how much I got done today? Yup. So I'm off to get more done so tomorrow I can enjoy the family without any nagging distractions. Now I just need to decide what to do next ...

(FYI, the best time to cull teenagers closets is when they are away from home. But, shhh.)

What are you up to this fine summer's day?

XO —

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I Love Me A Screenshot

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 20:45:00 +0000

Y'all, how did I live life before the screenshot? So much can be accomplished by capturing a photo of whatever you're looking at on your phone. For example, here's a curiosity I found just this morning:

One would think having the red "explicit material" symbol would eliminate certain podcasts from being categorized under "Kids & Family Favorites," but apparently not!! Kudos to you Apple for thinking out of the box on this one. I suggest renaming this category "Where Kids Learn to Cuss, If You Like That Sort of Thing." Ya know, for flair.

Love these teaching moments!

Last week, I was served boobs for lunch. Not even kidding, this is precisely how my chicken salad/pimento cheese combo was served, olive placement and all. How could the kitchen staff have known this is exactly the sort of thing that will continue to amuse me for years to come? They couldn't have, so this was probably some sort of divine lunch delivery. Tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor, and I will show you a picture of my boob lunch.

This prize gal is my college BFF's daughter. During our recent visit to Nashville, without any sort of preamble or scene set-up, she hit the floor with this contraption attached, striking this position like a pint-size Liza Minnelli nailing her final pose in "All That Jazz." And to equal effect. Shortly after this photo was taken, this youngster also announced (with much jubilation) that her unicorn had arrived via UPS. This is a direct quote. And no, I'm sad to say, they won't rent her (the kid nor the unicorn) out for parties.

My teenage daughter has a car with a sunroof. Not a little sunroof, mind, one that pretty much takes away the entire top of the car. There was a monsoon here overnight Wednesday. The Google search prior to the one above was "shop vac." And just like Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that."

Happy Weekend! XOXO—

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Pumpkin Spice Trail Mix

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Sun, 18 Oct 2015 23:46:00 +0000

Hi friends —

I made some Pumpkin Spice Trail Mix this weekend, and since the recipe has been requested a few times I thought I'd share here too, thus saving myself the trauma of trying to remember where I saved the recipe on my computer and then having to remember to send it to multiple people. I feel sorry for all of us collectively when I think back to the olden days (aka 10 years ago) when we had to hand-write recipes on world-worn and dripped upon index cards. Savage.

Before we get started, this is my official reminder that I'm very much a from-the-hip cook, as stated here and here, which means I'll do my very best to give you measurements and such but you are entering into this endeavor at your own risk. I encourage you to adjust the recipe according to your personal preferences. So, if you like things to be a little less sweet, by all means use less sugar, or less butter, or whatever it takes to make you happy!

Ingredients
For the spice mixture:
1 stick butter
1/2 C. brown sugar
1 TBS. pumpkin pie spice
Pinch of nutmeg

For the trail part of this mix:
3 cups plain Chex cereal
2 cups cinnamon Chex cereal
1 - 2 C. pretzels
1/2 C. granola
1/2 C. dried cranberries
1/4 C. walnuts

Melt the butter in the microwave, then stir in the brown sugar and other spices. Put all the cereal, pretzels and granola in a large mixing bowl, dump the butter mixture on top and stir until evenly distributed. Spread evenly onto a non-stick baking sheet. Bake in an oven pre-heated to 325 degrees for 15 minutes, stir, then bake for 15 more minutes or until crunchy. Let cool completely, then stir in cranberries, nuts, and candy corns and pumpkin marshmallow candies (if you're feeling particularly festive.)

Switch the ingredients for the trail part with whatever you like ... if you prefer a different dried fruit or like almonds better than walnuts or whatever. If you don't use the cinnamon cereal, I recommend adding 1/2 tsp. to the spice mixture.

Enjoy!

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Today, Pre-Sunrise

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 10:39:00 +0000

Howdy, hello. Coming to you here at 5:45 a.m. on a Saturday! A big shoutout to my husband who has taken the morning shift for years, because he's much more of a morning person than I. (That's a huge understatement.) This mainly means he threatens violence less often in the early morning hours if someone speaks to him, and that he can fall right back to sleep no matter what he's been dealing with: vomiting dogs, screeching babies, early morning smoke detector alerts to change the batteries. Etc. Me, not so much. I wake up, fire off dirty looks, and mostly refuse to deal with any sort of catastrophe unless flames are crawling up my legs. But once I've had some coffee it's all good in the suburban hood.

But seriously, I cannot imagine anything less cheerful than awakening this early to attend a cheer competition of all things. Except I'm so grateful little sister's knee has healed up so she CAN participate in today's competition. So I'm pretty sure once I've had 3 cups of coffee I will be SUPER cheerful! Go Raiders!

In other news, Herschel Walker is the nicest guy ever. Read my article about him here.

What are you cheerful about this weekend?

XOXO---

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Today in Blog Land

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Tue, 08 Sep 2015 16:42:00 +0000

I snapped this photo this summer in Square Books in Oxford, Miss., just down the lane from Faulkner's Rowan Oaks. Can we agree this is the best use of a post-it note to date?

Has anyone else ever faced the problem that if something isn't right in your face, demanding to be done (generally falling under the category of deadline, hungry, sleepy, barking, whining, reminding incessantly, stinking, annoying or aflame) that it very likely won't get done? Please say yes.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I get lots of other important things done other than feeding my family, hitting work deadlines and letting dogs outside to conduct important business. But there are many, many delightful tasks upon which I would like to focus a modicum of my time and energy that fall to the wayside simply because they aren't in my face demanding attention.

Then, heaven forbid if you throw a little obstacle in the path. Welcome to Never-Never Land little fun task! We hope you love it here, because we hear the wait time can be quite long! Try not to get lost or forgotten ... good luck with that.

And so it has been with my dear blog. I love it here! I love writing, maybe snapping a picture or two, dog-earring a fun something to share or jotting down a writing or business tip for a future post. But my client work has been full-throttle the last 6 months (which is fantastic!), my kiddos have remained their non-stop, non-driving school/sports/social selves (also fantastic!) and I have had a brain block.

No, really. Every time I'd think "I'll make time to blog today" I'd start worrying about what to write. Should I do a business-focused post? A writing post? A humor post for those needing a giggle? Or a general purpose, yammering life/parenting post? Then I'd worry that some folks would be all "eh" because they were hoping for one thing and received another, sort of like when you are hoping for a nice steak dinner and they serve you tilapia instead. I mean, the tilapia is fine ... it's just not steak. So then I'd put off writing. And put it off again. And again.

Until today, when I decided to take a seat and write. About whatever. Which today turns out to be essentially about procrastination. The next post could be about writing a better email, or Deez Nuts, or the fact that I'm certain prayer increases ten-fold -- even by non-believers -- if you're trapped inside a vehicle with a 15-year-old behind the wheel. I think the perfect theme word for riding with learning drivers is "clinch," and frankly it applies to every part of your body.

Anywho, I hope you'll stick around ... and that we all enjoy the clinch-free ride.

XO,

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A Change ... Will Do You Good

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 21:51:00 +0000

I had a rather interesting conversation with my teenage daughter recently. We were playing corn hole, and while my little bean bag's corner was tilting wildly close to the edge of the board's circular hole, it wasn't tipping in -- or scoring me points. Unacceptable. I expressed my frustration eloquently, I think something along the lines of "ARGGGHhhhhhhh," to which my daughter replied:

"Change something."

"But it's so close!" I said. "Every single time it is almost hitting the mark!"

"Almost, but it's not going in," she said. "So you need to change something."

This advice, while wise and useful, wasn't the clincher for me. That comes next, but here's what you need to know: I'm a planner. A strategist, a brainstormer, a maker of to-do lists. Give me a plan with a sound strategy to back it up and get out of my way, cause I'm about to make something happen. It may get messy, but it WILL get done.

I also respect persistence, an ability to stay the course when the going gets tough and doubt sets in, making you question whether it's worth the trouble. Let's just say that if I played slot machines, which I do not because ewwww the germs on those coins and probably casinos in general, I would be one of those people who would hunker down at one machine and stay there all night, refusing to move lest some greasy, toothless n'er-do-well reap the rewards of my persistence. Or stubbornness. Whatever. Stay the course, I say.

So on to the part about this conversation that has stuck with me for more than a year. For a moment, my teen child and I traded roles, I becoming the somewhat sassy and argumentative teen, she the sage -- calm, sensible and comfortable in the wisdom she was to impart.

"This should be going in! I should be winning!" I said. "My stance is perfect, my toss sublime, the follow through supreme! What do I need to change?!"

I may have stamped my foot in frustration.

"I don't know what you need to change, but what you're doing right now is definitely not working, so try different things until you figure it out," she said.

Record scratch and what the what?!

So you don't need an 12-point plan with spreadsheets, pie charts and market research to change course? Particularly if the consequences won't set you back any further than your current status?

Huh. Ha. Interesting.

I don't know about you, but lots of times if I don't know exactly what to change, I change nothing. I file lots of things under the "I'll eventually figure out what to do differently, but until then I shall continue to do exactly the same things that I know are not working, mostly out of habit. Please do not disturb."

At least that was the case until that lovely autumn day when the child took her Mom back to school. And her Mom is still grateful, because now whenever I'm feeling stuck I ask myself "what have I been doing, and what's something different -- anything different -- I can try?"

I swear these words are magic, their magician a teenage girl.

XOXO--

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The Last of the Winter Weekends

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Fri, 27 Feb 2015 14:55:00 +0000

Say what you will about winter (and I snarl many a contemptuous remark about the chilly days spanning from January to March-ish), but it does perform sunsets with flourish, tantalizing us to see so much more of its glorious colors with its trees standing strong but bare, a game of peek-a-boo with nature. Winter ... you naughty minx.

This weekend I'm:

~reading this book.
~planning for spring.
~cooking this, though I think I'll grill chicken breasts in lieu of what they've got going on here.
~procrastinating this.
~watching this on this (which we love, by the way. Love, love, and fight over it enough we may get another.)
~contemplating this. Join me, Southerners and non-Southerners alike ...

How about you? Anything fantastic for one of these last (please) winter weekends?

XO-

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Mazel Tov!

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Fri, 16 Jan 2015 18:00:00 +0000

I can, with confidence, say we will not be taking any pre-Bat Mitzvah party photos at the lake this weekend. Because it will be 40 degrees. Sigh.

What are you doing this weekend?

Enough about you, let's talk about me ... I'm going to my very first Bat Mitzvah of my entire life this weekend! I am extremely excited. So excited you'd think this Bat Mitzvah was at a synagogue in Italy, or Israel, but it isn't. It's like a 5 mile drive from my house.

Let me give you a little Bar Mitzvah background. Between my two daughters, they've been to like like 40. Well, not quite that many ... more along the lines of 12 and counting, but for a bunch of Methodists I feel that's an impressive number.

I was super excited for my older daughter when she was invited to her first Bar Mitzvah when she was in 7th grade (which is when they turn 13, which is when they do their Bar/Bat Mitzvahs.) She asked me "Mom, how many Bar Mitzvahs did you get invited to when you were my age?"

To which I was forced to reply "exactly zero. Not many opportunities to fraternize with the Jewish community when you attend Evangelical Christian School from kindergarten through 12th grade."

Which is why I am perhaps uncommonly excited about attending a religious ceremony of another religion this weekend.

Already instruction has been provided by our younger, yet Mitzvah-wiser daughters:

"They will walk around with the Torah for the congregation to kiss or touch or something. Dad, remember that you are not Jewish and should NOT touch the Torah."

Understood. Also, there's a kiddush luncheon afterwards, which apparently involves bagels.

Then there's the soiree that evening ... for which I still need to find something to wear. Have I mentioned I'm excited?

I hope y'all all have something you are really excited about this weekend, too!

XOXO --

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Please Note the New Blog Header for 2015

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Wed, 14 Jan 2015 20:46:00 +0000

Hello, and Happy New Year! Please note the new blog header for 2015 (subscribers, you'll have to click through to the actual website to see such.)

I want you to note the new header because it's the reason today is the first post of the new year.

It's the first post because I disciplined myself to design and post the new header prior to writing any new posts.

(Anyone who's thinking "well, how disciplined are you really if it took 14 full days to design and post a new header?" is clearly a cynic, and should probably work on that as a resolution.)

The picture above, while delightful, is from the reject pile.

I promise actually entertaining and/or helpful posts soon now that the header albatross is off my back. Man, I feel so much lighter! Albatrosses, particularly the digital kind, are super heavy ...

XOXO,

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Even My Dogs Smell Like Christmas (but for all the wrong reasons)

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Mon, 08 Dec 2014 19:56:00 +0000

I've compiled a list I've found vaguely interesting and very personally informative as I've been preparing for the holiday season. Perhaps you, too, will be intrigued. (Perhaps instead you will be alarmed. I understand completely. If you find you are more disturbed than amused, you should totally find a more relaxing blog with a more sensible writer.)

We have 8 bins for Halloween decorations, but only 3 for Christmas decorations.
One of those Halloween bins is labeled "GRAVEYARD" and is an enormous bin on a high shelf so I can't really access it. I'm just saying there may be an actual graveyard in my storage room and I have no way of knowing for sure. Ce la vie.
One of those Christmas bins is so ridiculously enormous that I usually just grab the items I need and carry those upstairs individually. Did not get that memo to my husband, who hauled the giant bin upstairs and said "whatever is in that bin needs to be separated into two smaller, lighter bins" as he huffed and puffed and grabbed his back. His look of incredulity when I announced there are actual bricks in that bin (cute preschool-painted Christmas bricks) was totally worth the price of admission.
At least one of our dogs has upgraded from treating the Christmas tree water as vitamin water and gulping it down with wild abandon to actually nibbling on the tree. We assume to freshen his breath. Or maybe for extra protein. We will be keeping the candy canes high up on the tree per the usual this year. Because what the world does not need this holiday season is two naughty Corgis jacked up on sugar.
Speaking of naughty Corgis, remember that cute frame my niece procured as a cute little hostess gift (actually a "thanks for getting us a place at the beach" gift) back in the summer? She visited again in October and brought the above photographed fabulously-pine-scented soy candle, which if memory serves she procured at the Memphis Farmer's Market. She totally gets MVP in the gift-giving category, because it smells divine.
I once bumped into Morris Day of Morris Day and the Time at a church. I was reminded of this when thumbing through old preschool Christmas program pictures of the girls. Yep, they went to preschool with Morris's child. And no, I did not go up to him and sing "Ohweeohweeoh!" while performing the accompanying dance moves, though it was encouraged by one of my dearest friends from college. We were in church, people. It didn't seem appropriate, though it was wildly tempting. (Watch a video of Morris performing Jungle Love here, but serious dancing does not commence until the 3:30 mark.)
When in need of a tacky Christmas sweater, I would totally rather sew lights onto an old sweater than go to Goodwill to purchase a tacky Christmas sweater. And did so. Evidence below.

XO --

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The Best Cookbook for Thanksgiving Recipes ... or Any Recipe, Really

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 19:15:00 +0000

Last Friday, AKA Halloween, I was full of faux-pity for my fellow parents who were Trick-or-Treating with their youngsters. Why? Because the temps went from long-sleeve-but-no-jacket-necessary weather to freaking freezing cold in a matter of two hours. I was smug in my "my teenage children are at various Halloween parties, thus I remain indoors and toasty warm" stance.

So when karma came back to bite me Saturday morning while spectating at my daughter's cross country race via 40-degree temps and 25-mile-per-hour winds, I really couldn't complain (though I did regularly threaten to set myself on fire to ward off frostbite. Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer is one of my favorite books of all time, yet I shall never visit Mt. Everest due to the way those people talk about frostbite with the same nonchalance a girl from Tennessee might talk about a mosquito bite or spotting a possum. There are other reasons I will not likely ever grace Mt. Everest, like the necessity to walk on a ladder over a massive crevasse, having to tether oneself to multiple others while dangling off particularly treacherous inclines, and highly questionable air transportation, but we shall save that discussion for a different post.)

Once we were home and I thawed my bones, I stayed put by the fire pretty much all day. Making chili. Putting away Halloween decor. Watching football. Drinking chai tea lattes. You know, November whatnot.

November. Sheesh.

Which set me on the path of thinking about Thanksgiving, which is at my brother and sister-in-law's this year (thank you Baby Jesus that it is not my year to host.) But I will bring food. Because I like to cook. And because my husband has a very specific way he enjoys his sweet potato casserole (mostly brown sugar and melted butter with a sweet potato smashed in for good measure.) And I have a specific casserole I make and holiday season cannot commence until I have consumed it. Find the recipe here. But there's also the potential I'll try out a new dish or two.

Perhaps you're thinking along the same Thanksgiving-recipe lines, and if so, I'm going to tell you the first cookbook I grab these days --- and for the last several years since purchasing -- if I'm looking for new recipes: Cook's Illustrated Cookbook.

God Bless America, those recipes are dee-lic-ious. One of my favorite parts of Cook's Illustrated (there's a magazine, too. And it is advertisement-free!) is that if they ask you to do something that seems silly (toss the meat lightly from hand to hand until a loose ball is formed -- what the??), they explain it and it makes total sense. So that's a plus.

I bought the cookbook the same week it came out and happily paid the full-price of $40 (and it has been worth every single penny), but if you click that link above you can purchase it for $22.83. I'm not even kidding. It's a great housewarming or wedding or Christmas or hostess gift (and no, they are not paying me to say these things. See above re: no ads.)

It's just that good. And I like to share hopefully helpful information with people for whom I'm thankful.

And that means y'all.

XOXO--

Disclosure: Some of the links in the post above are affiliate links. So, if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive a miniscule affiliate commission. I only review things I have personally used and loved, and think you'll love too. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

How to Reorder Work Experience on LinkedIn in 6 Simple Steps

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 17:00:00 +0000

When I'm advising professionals on sharpening their personal brand -- particularly when it comes to their resume, bio and LinkedIn profile -- my number one tip is to move eye-catching, results-based achievements to the top.

For all the many wonderful attributes of LinkedIn, it insists on complete chronology with work experience, so whatever job you're in right now sits up top. Then the last job you held, and so on. It doesn't matter if you were the President of the United States and now you're a professional apple picker ... CEO will be listed second, with your picking profession center stage.

Which is dandy if you're putting politics aside for greener orchards (no one could blame you, really), but if you're looking for a more professional image as you charge back into the working world (or change industries, de-emphasize a short-term job, or after a downsizing) there's a simple way to place your top accomplishments front-and-center.

6 Simple Steps to Reorder Work Experience on LinkedIn

1. Log into your LinkedIn, click "Profile," then "Edit Profile."

2. Scroll to "Experience," and click "Add a Position."

3. On the "Company Name" tab, type a broad category you want to emphasize. For example:
~Marketing Strategist
~Human Resources Professional
~Financial Consultant
~You could even go with something like "Career Highlights" or "Industry Experience."

4. On the "Title" tab, type in a little descriptive. Think of it as a subheading instead of a job title. For example:
~ Company Name: Healthcare Marketing
~ Job Title: Key Career Achievements

5. On the "Time Period" tab, input a start time that best describes whatever you've categorized. So if you've been in your current field for 10 years, input "2004" for start time. The most important factor is that you input the end time after the next position that comes up! So if you resigned from your last position in May 2014, the end time for this position should be June 2014 or after. Yes, there will be crossover with other jobs, and that's okay. You're not claiming this is an official job you held ... you're listing work experience.

6. On the "Description" tab, include whatever you need to highlight. For example:
~Heartstrong Medical Company: created brand strategy resulting in new product sales of $40 billion.
It doesn't matter if that particular achievement was back in 2002, and you've held 2 different jobs since then. If it's something that needs to be said first, put it right up top.

One point upon which I want to be completely clear: I'm not encouraging you to fudge details on your LinkedIn (or anywhere.) In fact, I strongly encourage you to fact-check all your information for honesty and accuracy throughout LinkedIn and on your resume.

From a personal branding perspective, you must position your career results and achievements in a way that will intrigue a future employer. When you look at the scope of your entire career, success isn't necessarily sequential. So don't let a little technical obstacle on one of the top professional resources on the internet keep you from putting your best foot forward, right at the top of the page.

For a few more tips about pumping up your personal brand on LinkedIn, visit here and here. And if you need a little professional assistance getting that LinkedIn profile in order, send me a note at amyATamymacwritesDOTcom.

Have a great week!

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Is There Such a Thing as a Bad Compliment? (Correct Answer: Yes. Yes There Is.)

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 15:39:00 +0000

Ah, the well-paid compliment. Nothing adds a spot of sunshine to your day like a genuine effort of admiration given to you by someone you hold in high esteem. Or a well-dressed stranger with a nice haircut. Truly, it matters less who is delivering the compliment and more that it's sincere -- and that the person stops talking before accidentally undoing the compliment. Some real-life examples:

Good compliment:
"Mom! I'm so glad you wear cute clothes so we can share!"

Undoing compliment:
"Except for pants. I don't think we can share those."

The save:
"Only because your legs are longer than mine!"

Just this week:

Good compliment (by a teenage girl who probably wanted to go shopping or something, but whatever):
"Wait, Justin Timberlake is only 33? Dang, you have almost 10 years on him and you look waaaaay younger than him."

Undoing compliment (by another person after hearing said compliment):
"Yeah, Justin Timberlake looks OLD."

The save:
"Whoa, that came out totally wrong. What I meant was you definitely look younger than a 33-year-old!"

I'm trying to teach my girls to look for opportunities to pay genuine compliments to people. To notice their fellow human beings have made an effort and to give them a little love for it. Why? Because a sincere compliment leaves a person feeling warm, and appreciated, and better off for having encountered you that day. And they will generally remember those lovely compliments well after you've crossed paths. Which is nice, too. It does seem, however, we still have a little work to do on the "seizing opportunities" front, as evidenced in my recent Facebook post:

It's a work in progress, people. Also, I would like to genuinely compliment you each and every one for your outstanding taste in blog reading. Exquisite!

XO --

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Today, In Lieu of an Actual Post ...

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Tue, 07 Oct 2014 20:31:00 +0000

For several days running my to-do list has featured the task "blog post."

I should tell you ... I have several posts already written out! Fantastic news! Sadly, they are in longhand (my preferred method of first draft on any writing.) Thus, they continue to await me blocking out a bit of time to key in said posts, find an accompanying photo, then edit the post until I'm cross-eyed and snappy because I forgot to eat because I can get a little picky when I'm writing. Also when I'm eating. So. There's that.

Therefore, today, in lieu of an actual post, I shall lull you into complacency with photos of my recent Halloween decorating frenzy! So there's this:

And also this:

Please be inspired to do a pinch of Halloween decorating your own self. (I mean go decorate your house, not decorate your own body. Unless that's your thing. If so, ... please go adorn yourself as you wish.) You can see more pics here (of decorations in my house. Not of decorated bodies. OMG, this is sounding more and more like a horror blog. DO NOT GO IN THE BASEMENT IF YOU HEAR A WEIRD NOISE AND THE LIGHTS ARE FLICKERING!!)

Until next time (which will probably be fairly soon, but I can't be completely sure. Meetings keep cropping up out of nowhere. Which is better than dead bodies cropping up out of nowhere. I have got to quit reading scary books and/or watching the news),

XOXO ~

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Report: Corgis of the World Grateful United Kingdom Shall Remain United

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Fri, 03 Oct 2014 14:24:00 +0000

My sister and niece gave us this cute Corgi/Union Jack frame from Anthropologie, which of course is a perfect treat for us since we love us a Corgi. Ours are named Watson and Thatcher ... a tip of the hat to their British heritage. Because Queen Elizabeth also love her a Corgi. She has approximately 87 of them at all times.

Anywho, I propped our precious new household accoutrement on a side table in our family room so we could all point and say "awwww, look how CUTE!" in our very poor fake British accents. Which are really just Southern accents projected in a slightly higher-pitched, nasal tone. It works well for us; please hold all judgement.

Then we started noticing bizarre behavior from our pups (they are full-grown dogs, but still behave like wild, untamed puppies, so we treat them like they are loving yet willful toddlers. It works well for us; please hold all judgement.)

It started with Watson hopping up into the wingback chair adjacent to the end table hosting the Union Jack frame and getting his nose as close to the frame as possible without accidentally knocking it over. Sometimes he'd lie down in the chair and prop his little chin on the armrest so he could gaze at the picture in the frame. Lovingly.

Then Thatcher started doing the same thing. Loving gazes. Snuggling up to the frame. Occasionally reaching over for a teensy, tinesy kiss.

Which stoked the flames of jealousy. All the sudden it was like the Montagues and Capulets. It was all "back up away from my girlfriend's picture." It was all "she loves me more." It was all "I'd totally duel you with my giant sword but I don't have opposing thumbs, so I'll just settle on baring teeth and growling and such."

I'm not even kidding. Here, I have photos to prove it:

I mean, what?? First of all, the frame isn't even that big ... I'm stunned they even noticed it, because generally unless it makes a loud noise (the vacuum, the blender, the battery-operated toy helicopter my husband purchased to freak them out) they really aren't interested in the items in our house. And also, how did they make out that this is a female? I don't know much about dogs, but I'm assuming tiny reproduction drawings cannot be in heat? Or maybe it isn't a female, and our dogs are trying to tell us something. Which if they are, we want them to know we love and accept them just like they are, and will support them forever and always.

The bottom line is Corgis all over the world are relieved that last week Scotland voted it shall remain a part of the United Kingdom, otherwise crossing the border was going to become a total nightmare when zipping from their London digs to the Scottish countryside to frolic alongside the Queen and such.

Also, it keeps our dogs' dream alive that one day they shall be united with the object of their affection.(Of course our dogs are terrified of even taking a short car ride, so I'm not sure transcontinental flight is in their future.)

Writing this post reminds me I've not been to Anthropologie in forever, so I think I'll dash and do just that ... right after I tell the dogs again to use their best manners while they work through their jealousy issues.

Happy Weekend!

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Back to Work Blog Series: 5 Steps to Confident, Smarm-Free Networking

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Wed, 10 Sep 2014 14:47:00 +0000

Welcome back to the Amy Mac Blog Series Back to Work: Everything You Need to Know to Get Back in Business — a playbook of strategies to dust off your skills, your resume and your moxie as you change careers, launch a business, or head from the mom force to the work force. Catch up on previous posts here.

In the last post we talked about steps to Crafting a Winning Resume -- today, we're talking about how to network strategically (without feeling like an infomercial salesman) and land that perfect job.

Now that have several important building blocks in place — the 30-second pitch, your resume, trend awareness and social media — it’s time to start building your network in earnest. In my experience, women who have been out of the work force for a while (or are switching careers) tend to quickly discount current connections as viable networking opportunities.

Recently, an accountant friend ready to make the leap back into full-time work said “a dad on my son’s baseball team is a VP in marketing at a local Fortune 500 company. But since he’s in marketing, I’m sure he isn’t be able to help me land an accounting job.” Let’s dispel that myth once and for all: first, I’m sure the company has an accounting department. Second, as a local business leader, he likely has a personal accountant and knows several more.

Start building your network as soon as you begin thinking of returning to work — you’ll be amazed at how many opportunities find their way to you. If your scene has been more playgroup than boardroom the last few years, the options might seem overwhelming. Start with these five tried-and-true networking strategies:

Design a Digital and Traditional Business Card. Make it easy on any contacts who want to stay in touch. There are many options online to design and print business cards. Have some very simple cards printed with your name, contact information and your industry with the word “freelance consultant” after. For example, a retiring teacher looking to continue to work part-time in some capacity would say “Education Freelance Consultant.” Take the same information and create a digital signature for all of your emails.

Pitch to Personal Networks. Armed with your 30-second pitch and your business cards, start letting everyone you know you’re back on the professional market. This is a time to make an expansive list — everyone from your neighborhood, church friends, parents on the sidelines at your kids’ sporting events, to colleagues you worked with 10 years ago should be on this list.

Connect at Professional Networking Events. Almost every local Chamber of Commerce holds a monthly networking event, not to mention local chapters of various industry associations. These events cost about the same as a typical lunch at a restaurant, and are usually full of leading local professionals smart enough to keep their eyes and ears open for potential new talent.

Invest in Professional and Personal Development Seminars. Seminars on sharpening career and life skills are everywhere these days. Find one that piques your interest and invest in the fee — not only is it an excellent networking opportunity, but it’s also a new skill for your resume.

Scan Local Newspapers and Calendar of Events Listings. Most newspapers have “Calendar of Events” listings. Some of them even helpfully section out the business-related events. Make a point of reading these at least once a week to stay abreast of networking opportunities that will further your job search.

Remember ... when you have a networking opportunity you must have a goal in mind. For example, if you’re at a Chamber meeting, be determined to meet at least 3 new people, learn what they do, give them your pitch, and exchange contact information. Otherwise, it’s easy to settle in at the table for lunch and be monopolized by your seat mate.

And if you’re nervous about pitching to an acquaintance, try the soft-sale approach: ask them a question about their business (something like “what do you do in a typical work day?” or “who are some of your clients I might recognize?”) which then segues nicely into you telling them about your skill sets and career goals.

And don’t get discouraged if you don’t get any bites right away. I have people that I met weeks, months even years ago reach out and say “not sure if you remember me, but I need some help writing a news release…”, so just keep on networking — even after you land that dream job!

Next up in the Back to Work Blog Series: You're already a CEO ... here's how to use it in the working world.

Thanks for reading! (and please ... if you have any questions related to going back to work, send them my way!)

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Life's Like an Hourglass Glued to the Table

noreply@blogger.com (Amy Mac) — Mon, 08 Sep 2014 14:42:00 +0000

Wow. A giant mass of pointy candy corns comin' at ya. Bad idea.

Things I've said to at least one of my children this week, in no particular order:

"No, a trip to Seattle is not a reasonable birthday gift request."

"Coke (does not) = Water."

"Please do not call our dog a 'pimp.'" In the child's defense, she was unable to properly define the word, and after learning what it means agrees it does not describe our dog accurately.

"A few years back, I was struck multiple times in the face with flying candy corns while making your bed. You had stored them in your pillowcase, I assume for convenience in indulging a late-night, crack-like sugar addiction. As Halloween season approaches, I'd like to remind everyone to please not store any type of candy, whether soft or incredibly missile-like in hardness, in one's pillowcase." Seriously, I almost lost an eye.

"If I say 'I can see your cheeks in those shorts,' I do not mean the cheeks upon which you apply rouge. Please remove the shorts immediately and place them in the giveaway pile."

"It's never too early to start thinking about sorority rush, so please stop posting pictures of your mangled feet on social media. I'm sorry that cross country is ending a potential career as a foot model and perhaps hampering your ability to wear shoes ever again, but if one more shot of a blue toenail and skin bearing a resemblance to road kill pops up on my feed, so help me I'll do something drastic. Please don't try me. I'm very creative. And loud."

" _______ causes acne." (Fill in the blank with whatever objectionable action you desire. In the last three days I've used eating candy, stealing my makeup, back talk and forgetting to flush the toilet.)

"If you mention again how in X number of days you'll get your driver's permit and that 'I'll be the passenger in my own car' I will ground you, I swear it." It makes me feel anxious and old and I don't care for it.

Actually this entire post makes me feel anxious and old. But also relieved that thus far the worst social media picture is of a foot and that substance abuse is limited to candy corn and Coca-Cola. But still in a state of disbelief that I have a child who keeps demanding we take her to drive circles in empty parking lots. Isn't it funny how our number one job as parents is to teach them independence, and then when that independence finally asserts itself it clinches us around our hearts with the ferocity of an industrial-grade vise?

Ah, the push and pull of parenthood.

Mothers and fathers of babies, and toddlers, and even elementary school-age kids, remember this: for every shoelace you tie, or every pureed sweet potato you scrape off your wall, for every time you fall into bed exhausted after wrangling multiple wild and filthy children through the bath ... there will come a time you will yearn for the simplicity of those days.

Yep, I said simple. I know those days are rough. Exhausting. You're chasing a constantly moving target, and my Lord what a mess it creates in its wake. But one day you wake up, and all of a sudden there is a target. And it's no longer your target ... it's theirs. There's talk of GPAs and college essays and setting up shop in some dorm room on a faraway college campus. And my friend, you will yearn for those days of shampooing crusted pasta sauce out of someone's hair right after you pick up 72,458 legos for the millionth time in a three-hour timespan.

I think this quote from Robin Williams' character in Dead Poet's Society sums it up nicely:

"...if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? ---Carpe --- hear it? --- Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day ...."

Because every single time I look at my daughter, the one with the mangled feet who's mentally calculating her GPA in her head as we speak, that awful political chant pops up in my head like a whack-a-mole ...

"Four More Years."

Gulp.

XO---

Photo courtesy of ...

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