3-Word TV Show Descriptions

2012-02-03T11:08:00.042-05:00

After I started writing the post 3-Word Movie Descriptions I realized that what had begun as a lark had somehow become "a mission". I watched that blog post in utter fascination as it mutated from 50 to 100 items, almost as if someone else were writing it and not me. I also found out that it's not easy to come down from a high like that, cold turkey.

So, here's another list. This one consists of 3-word descriptions of television shows from the 1950s through the mid-1990s. Back when I was still watching live TV. I can't even begin to think about 3-word descriptions for TV shows after 1995 because I haven't watched a single one since 1995. So, that means there are no TV shows from the 21st Century in this list. OK by me.

That's right, for the past 17 years I've only watched VHS recordings and DVD collections of movies and TV shows from the 1950s-1990s. I do this to escape from reality. I've had enough of reality. I've got enough reality to do me for the rest of my life. I've got reality coming outta my ears. So, here's the list. After this list hits 100 shows I'll let it rest like a sleeping dog that might bite me if I wake it up. That's right, you'd probably never see these descriptions in the old TV Guide. Too bad. They could have been real time savers.

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The A-Team — Cheezy commando capers.

The Addams Family — Stale Munster cheez.

Alice — Born to bitch.

All in the Family — Everybody blames Archie.

The Andy Griffith Show — Sheriff knows everything.

Bachelor Father — Life before Dynasty.

Barnaby Jones — Jed goes gumshoe.

The Beverly Hillbillies — Buddy Ebsen 90210.

Bewitched — Nosey housewife trouble.

The Bionic Woman — Wonder Woman Lite.

Bonanza — Cowboy land-hog family.

The Brady Bunch — Double Brat Pack.

Cagney and Lacey — Bitches with badges.

Cannon — Pork Pie P.I.

Captain Kangaroo — Free grandpa babysitter.

Car 54, Where AreYou? — Life before Munsters.

The Carol Burnett Show — Harvey Korman Hour.

Charlie's Angels — Eye candy spies.

Checkmate — Snobby Frisco gumshoes.

Cheers — Tavern enables losers.

CHiPs — Cheezy biker cops.

Dallas — Texas Oil Soap.

The Danny Thomas Show — Dad throws fits.

The David Letterman Show — Host disrespects people.

The Dick Van Dyke Show — Pathetic pussy-whipped husband.

Dragnet — Cop talk show.

The Dukes of Hazzard — Moonshine monkey business.

Dynasty — Denver Oil Soap.

The Ed Sullivan Show — Live floor shows.

The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show — Hollywood housewife hijinks.

Get Smart — Tennessee Tuxedo spy.

The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. — Girl, my ass.

The Golden Girls — Girls, my ass.

The Gong Show — Elf judges talent.

Green Acres — Hicks devil newcomer.

Gunsmoke — Bored out west.

Happy Days — Dopey Doo-Wop Days.

Hawaii Five-O — Lord Jack Justice.

Hazel — Hag maid's escapades.

Hee Haw — Flyover variety show.

Here's Lucy — Secretary from hell.

Hill Street Blues — Touchy-feeley generic precinct.

I Dream of Jeannie — Bottled Up Babe.

I Love Lucy — Housewife from hell.

The Jeffersons — Husband throws fits.

Knight Rider — Chatty Cathy Car.

Kojak — Nasty cueball cop.

Leave It to Beaver — Stupid boy's shenanigans.

Little House on the Prairie — Bookoo boo-hoo settlers.

The Love Boat — Soap that floats.

Lost in Space — Zorro-Lassie Space-Time Continuum.

The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour — Housewife from hell.

The Lucy Show — Secretary from hell.

Magnum, P.I. — Gumshoe goes coconuts.

Make Room for Daddy — Dad throws fits.

Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman — Why women work.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show — Spinster gets job.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. — Botany 500 spooks.

Mannix — L.A. P.I. hijinks.

Married With Children — Family from hell.

M*A*S*H — Alan Alda soapbox.

Maude — Born to bitch.

The Mickey Mouse Club — Kids hawk Disney.

Mission Impossible — Hokey impossible missions.

Mork & Mindy — Clown from space.

Mr. Ed — Gabby equine escapades.

The Munsters — Ghouls secure mortgage.

The Muppet Show — Puppets babysit Boomers.

My Favorite Martian — Interplanetary Odd Couple.

My Three Sons — Clueless suburban dad.

The Nanny — Brazen bombshell whiner.

Newhart — Green Acres, Vermont.

One Day at a Time — Born to bitch.

Petticoat Junction — Hooterville whistle stop.

Police Woman — Bitch with badge.

Rat Patrol — Jeeps versus Tanks.

Quantum Leap — Time-travel identity crisis.

The Rifleman — Rancher pumps Winchester.

Sanford and Son — Dad from hell.

Saturday Night Live — Baby-Boomer Comedy Hour.

Seinfeld — Over-indulged cross-eyed comic.

Sesame Street — Puppets babysit kids.

The Simpsons — Cartoon from hell.

60 Minutes — Mike Wallace Show.

The Smurfs — Blue cartoon bipeds.

St. Elsewhere— Bloody soap bubble.

Space 1999 — Landaus go missing.

Star Trek — Soap in space.

Taxi — Freaks on wheels.

The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson — Celebrity gab fest.

The Tonight Show Starring Jay Leno — Johnny goes missing.

Three's Company — Suzanne Somers shack-up.

To Tell the Truth — Liar, liar, kidder.

The Partride Family — Family bubble gum.

You Bet Your Life — Groucho grills America.

Welcome Back, Kotter — Nasty school days.

The Waltons — Life before Walmart.

What's My Line? — Knickerbockers know nothing.

WKRP in Cincinnati — Hair helmet secretary.

Wonder Woman — Superbabe fights crime.

Thinck Tank

3-Word TV Show Descriptions