Branch Life

The Real State of the Union

2012-02-23T21:12:00.003-06:00

I have an extreme dislike for politics. Okay, let’s just be honest, I hate politics. For as long as I can remember, politics have frustrated me: the attitude, the arrogance, the overall air that drops like a bomb in nearly any setting whenever anything political is brought up. That being the case, this is not a political post. I repeat, THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL POST. So if you’re looking for a topic about which to debate or an opponent with whom to argue, skip right along to another blog with a donkey or an elephant adorning the banner and titles that include all your favorite political issues. I have neither the desire nor sufficient knowledge to provide a competent forum for such discussion. I freely admit: I am altogether ignorant about the current state of politics in this country. Sure, I know a few buzz words, but that’s the extent of it. I could no more have a competent discussion about American politics than I could spell the names of all the individuals listed in the genealogy of Christ. However, I did listen to the State of the Union Address given by our President last month, and it brought to the forefront of my mind a concern that has been growing steadily in my subconscious for some time.

The following are quotes from several States of the Union Addresses given by a few of our most recent Presidents, Republican and Democrat alike: (I have not identified the quotes with the Presidents to whom they belong because that is not the point of this post. If you want to know who said what, there are these new things called, “Copy,” “Paste,” and “Google”……)

“America will always win.”

“The strength — the secret of our strength, the miracle of America, is that our greatness lies not in our government, but in the spirit and determination of our people.”

“Because when we act together, there is nothing the United States of America can't achieve.”

“My fellow Americans, the state of our Union is the strongest it has ever been. As always, the credit belongs to the American people.”

“Each time I look at that flag, I'm reminded that our destiny is stitched together like those fifty stars and those thirteen stripes. No one built this country on their own. This Nation is great because we built it together. This Nation is great because we worked as a team. This Nation is great because we get each other's backs. And if we hold fast to that truth, in this moment of trial, there is no challenge too great; no mission too hard. As long as we're joined in common purpose, as long as we maintain our common resolve, our journey moves forward, our future is hopeful, and the state of our Union will always be strong.”

These statements reflect two core beliefs that you will find resounding in the heart of nearly every American, regardless of partisan association:

America is great.
Americans get credit for it.

My friends, it is not the economy that is going to destroy this nation. It is not our financial deficit. It is not our foreign relations. It is not our wars. It is not our educational system or our taxes or our energy supply. What will destroy this nation is our belief in the two statements above. The one thing upon which most Americans agree, the one moment during the State of the Union Address when everyone applauds, the one belief we all share…is a lie.

Because here’s the truth:

We. Are. Not. Great.

Yes, America. Read it and weep. But it’s true. We’re not. How do I know? Because the One, the ONLY One, who is great said so.

Psalm 62:9,

“Lowborn men are but a breath, the highborn are but a lie; if weighed on a balance, they are nothing; together they are only a breath.”

Isaiah 40:17,

“Before Him all the nations are as nothing; they are regarded by Him as worthless and less than nothing.”

Daniel 4:35,

“All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as He pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back His hand or say to Him: ‘What have You done?’”

I could continue, but I think you get it. We are men. Men are nothing. Yes, even the strong and influential and intelligent and oh-so-important Americans that we are (pointing out the sarcasm in those adjectives, in case you missed it), we are nothing. And it’s high time we remembered it. If you want to know why, go take a stroll through the Old Testament. Say hello to the Babylonians and the Assyrians and the Persians and the Egyptians, and definitely have a chat with the Israelites! Ask them what happens to nations who think they’re “all that”. Ask them what happens when you strut your stuff and call yourself great and flaunt your achievements and conquests as if you’re king of the world. Ask them what happens when you take credit for something in which you had absolutely no hand. Ask them how God responds when you try to lift yourself up to His level. They’ll tell you: He puts you in your place. As well He should. Because we’re not great, but He is.

Deuteronomy 10:17,

“For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome.”

1 Chronicles 16:25,

“For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; He is to be feared above all gods.”

1 Chronicles 29:11-12,

“Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is Yours. Yours, O Lord, is the kingdom; You are exalted as head over all. Wealth and honor come from You; You are the ruler of all things. In Your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all.”

Psalm 47:2,

“How awesome is the Lord Most High, the great King over all the earth!”

Psalm 145:3,

“Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom.”

Do you get it? Do you get who He is? Do you get who we’re not? If America is anything, ANYTHING AT ALL, it is for only one reason: because God chose to make us that way. The “the secret of our strength” doesn’t lie “in the spirit and determination of our people.” The “credit” doesn’t belong “to the American people.” We are not great “because we worked as a team.” We are not great “because we get each other's backs.” And like it or not, the state of our Union will not “always be strong” and America won’t “always win.” We could not have made ourselves into anything. And we cannot maintain ourselves as anything. Only God Most High has the power to do that.

Psalm 75:6-7,

“No one from the east or the west or from the desert can exalt a man. But it is God who judges: He brings one down, He exalts another.”

So where do we belong? We’re not great. God is great. Where do we belong? We belong with Isaiah and Ezekiel, on our faces before Him in tears.

Isaiah 6:5,

“’Woe to me!’ I cried. ‘I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.’”

Ezekiel 1:28,

“This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. When I saw it, I fell facedown.”

We belong in the humble, prostrate position of a beggar and a servant at the feet of the Master. Because everything that we are as a nation is only because He chose for it to be that way. And as soon as He chooses otherwise, we will find ourselves right next to the Babylonians and Assyrians: on our faces in the dirt, the rug ripped out from under us, thinking, “Wait—I thought we were great???”

We Christian Americans like to quote this verse: Psalm 33:12, “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord.” Unfortunately, I think the majority of us have forgotten what that verse really says. Here’s what it doesn’t say:

It doesn’t say, “Blessed is the nation that calls itself ‘Christian’.”

It doesn’t say, “Blessed is the nation that stands bull-headedly firm on the conservative side of issues.”

It doesn’t say, “Blessed is the nation that elects a President who goes to church.”

It doesn’t say, “Blessed is the nation that boasts religious tolerance and political correctness.”

It doesn’t say, “Blessed is the nation that votes pro-life.”

It doesn’t say, “Blessed is the nation that asks for it.”

How many times a day do we say or hear or read, “God Bless America”? If we want Him to bless America, maybe we should quit asking for it and start making Him Lord. Because that’s what it says.

“Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord.”

So what’s the state of our Union? It’s exactly the same as the state of every human heart within it.

John 3:30,

“He must become greater; [we] must become less.”

Swallowing Flies

2012-02-11T00:08:00.003-06:00

Raise your hand if you've ever read (or had read to you) the book "There was an Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly".
...okay, put your hands down. I can't see them anyway.
For those of you who have read it, doesn't your life feel gloriously enriched because of that experience?
For those of you who haven't, you have been cruelly deprived of a truly inspiring piece of American literature, which I will now attempt to summarize for you...

In short, there's an old lady.
She swallows a fly.
No one knows why.
But for some reason, we all begin to assume that, "Perhaps she'll die."
Next she swallows a spider to catch the fly.
Then a bird to catch the spider.
Then a cat to catch the bird.
Then a dog to catch the cat.
Then a cow to catch the dog.
Then a horse to catch the cow.
And when she swallows the horse..."She died, of course."
And after you've read the whole story, if you turn to the very last page, this is what you'll find:

"Moral: Never swallow a horse."

Now, from the time I was able to read that book on my own I knew that wasn't quite right. (If you haven't caught up to that logic yet, I rescind my offer for you to graduate to www.terryrush.blogspot.com.) Because even my elementary reasoning skills said, "If you hadn't swallowed the fly, there wouldn't have been a problem! Forget about the horse--never swallow a fly!" Common sense tells us that if you don't want to end up swallowing a horse, don't start by swallowing a fly. Any sane person could understand that and would therefore make the wise decision to avoid flies.

...right?

Maybe not. You see, we swallow flies all the time. The TV shows and movies we watch that are full of foul language and immorality, the music we listen to that carries an unholy message, the thoughts we entertain that are a far cry from glorifying to God, every distraction we permit to invade our minds and draw us away from Him...these are our flies. And we swallow them daily, usually washing them down with rationalizing statements. "Just because I watch that/listen to that doesn't mean I'm going to talk/act/live like that." "Just because I thought about that doesn't mean I'm actually going to do it. Come on!" We might as well be saying, "Just because I swallowed one silly little fly doesn't mean I'm going to swallow a horse and die!" Oh yeah? Tell that to the old lady.

The Bible makes it clear how God feels about flies.

Ephesians 4:31,
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice."

Ephesians 5:3,
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people."

Ephesians 4:29,
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

He even goes so far as to say that if you swallow a fly, you might as well have swallowed a horse.

Matthew 5:21:22,
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment."

He also says that when you swallow flies, you throw up horses.

Luke 6:45,
"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."

If we keep storing it up, it's gonna start coming out. Because if we keep inching closer to the line just to see how close we can get without crossing it, all of a sudden we're going to look back and see that the line is way behind us. Because you didn't plan on swallowing the horse when you downed the fly...and the spider......and the bird.......etc., but you did. Once you got there, you just couldn't help it.

So how do we stop it? We quit inching toward the line and start running away from it. We quit swallowing flies.

Philippians 4:8,
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Leviticus 19:2,
"Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy."

Romans 12:2,
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

We don't want to be a horse-swallowing, dying people. So let's quit swallowing flies.

Anybody have a flyswatter?

Cruise Control

2012-01-29T21:45:00.002-06:00

Have you ever been driving somewhere and about the time you hit the entrance ramp to the highway, your mind detaches and travels to another dimension where it focuses on anything and everything except the task of driving? Oh good, then I'm not alone. :-) When that happens to me, I'll stay spaced-out for a few minutes before jolting back to reality. It's usually at that moment when I realize that I'm driving somewhere between 10 mph below the speed limit and 10 mph above it--which one depends on what I was thinking about at the time.

If I was angry, nervous, excited, or really getting into a hyped-up song on the radio, I was probably going over.

If I was sad, tired, peacefully contented, or drifting into the soft tones of a gently melodic song on the radio, I was probably going under.

When I "wake up" and realize what's happening, I either punch the gas or slam on the brakes, giving myself a severe case of whiplash. (Okay, that's a bit dramatic, but you get the idea. I fix the problem.)

ENTER CRUISE CONTROL, STAGE RIGHT

If I'm paying attention when I get on the highway, I set my cruise control. Then I sit back and let my mind wander through the dimensions without having to worry about it getting me a ticket. Because while my speed was formerly controlled by what I was feeling internally at any given time, with cruise control my speed remains constant because it is regulated by something outside of myself and my emotions.

If you've been waiting for the spiritual application of these ramblings, thank you for your patience. (If you've already figured it out, then clearly you are in need of a source of much deeper spiritual musings. May I suggest www.terryrush.blogspot.com.) Here it is:

The Holy Spirit is our Cruise Control.

Think about it. When we hit the entrance ramp to life on our own each day, we often end up way off track of where we're supposed to be. We're too fast, too slow, too low, too high, too aggresive, too passive, too apathetic, too discontent, too selfish, too sacrificial (Yes, it is possible. That's for another post.), too confused, too certain, and any number of other pairs of extremes. Why? Because our "speed", so to speak, is determined by our emotions. We operate from the perspective of how we feel.

Now granted, eventually we jolt back to reality, see the folly of our ways, and punch the gas or slam on the brakes. But by then we may already have flashing lights in our mirrors, and even if we don't, who likes whiplash anyway?

ENTER HOLY SPIRIT, STAGE RIGHT

If we're paying attention when we hit the entrance ramp each morning, we should be surrendering ourselves to the Holy Spirit of God, laying ourselves at His feet, and putting Him in control (especially since He's already in control anyway). Now, that doesn't mean the emotions don't still come. They do. We still feel. But what we feel no longer determines the speed (and often the direction) of our lives. Instead, our speed and direcion remain constant because they are regulated by Someone outside of ourselves and our emotions. We still live in the zone of what we feel, but we don't operate from it anymore. Now we operate from the zone of who He is. And that, my friends, is a steady Cruise Control.

"Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you...
Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God."

Romans 8:5-9, 12-14

Holding Hands

2012-01-13T22:19:00.002-06:00

At church last Sunday during the closing prayer, I found myself holding hands with a dear friend. A friend who was praying for me and my family. Physically speaking, this friend of mine is great in neither stature nor strength, but as I held her hand that morning, I felt a strength coming through it. I'm not talking about the kind of strength that people try to share. You know, when you're having a hard time and you're praying with a friend and they hold your hand really tightly as if somehow they can transfer strength to you that way. It wasn't like that. It was a strength not her own, a strength she wasn't trying to convey, a strength that flowed from Someone stronger than herself, a strength that poured into me and filled me up and urged me on. I doubt she was even aware of it. But as I sat there, I thought, "If I was hanging off the edge of a cliff (spiritually speaking), this is the hand I want pulling me back up."

Why? Why is that the hand I want pulling me up? Because it's not just a hand. It's a Hand. In my friend dwells the Spirit of the Most High God, so when I hold her hand, I'm holding more than her hand--I'm holding His. And I know His strength!

The Lord has blessed my life so richly: I have many friends about whom this could be said. When they reach out and hold my hand, I get to hold the Hand of God. Whose hand are YOU holding?

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"Yet I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand."
Psalm 73:23

Communion Trays

2012-01-01T22:35:00.002-06:00

If you're like me, you have days where you're just simply crabby. And, if you're like me, these days are often preceded by a night on which you stayed up far too late. Today was such a day for me.

It's New Years Day, so obviously I was up late last night. And, this being a Sunday, I was up early this morning and off to church. This, coupled with some unknown causes, created my crabby mood.

Being crabby makes it difficult to focus on worshipping the Lord, but I did my best through the first half of the service. Then came the sermon. Terry spoke about how God had shown him that there are two kinds of people in the church: collection plates and communion trays.

Collection plates are about themselves. They look for only what they can get out of church and out of Christ. They spend their time focused on their needs and their struggles and their trials, looking for people to fill them up.
Communion trays, on the other hand, are about others. They are made up of crushed fruit and broken bread, but they spend their time looking for ways to use their brokenness to bless those around them. Their focus is on Christ and how their lives might be emptied in order to bring Him glory and bless His children.

So, there you have it.

Now let me give you some back story to the rest of this.

There is a group at our church called Project Tulsa with a mission to serve the homeless people in our city. Since the middle of the summer, a group of us has gone downtown every Sunday afternoon with food and water bottles to hand out. We have made countless friends at the homeless shelters, and they have become a joy to us.

Okay, back to the story.

As I drove home from church, I wrestled back and forth with whether or not to come back to the church after lunch and go with the group downtown. Since I was crabby, I really just wanted to go home and take a nap. But I felt the Lord calling me, saying, "No, go spend time with your friends downtown. Go spend time with Me downtown. Quit being a collection plate. I expect you to be a communion tray." So downtown I went.

We cooked and wrapped 300 hot dogs and loaded up a dozen or so cases of water and soda, and seven of us took off on our weekly rounds.

We were at our last stop before I realized what happened. I was sitting with my friend on the bumper of one of our suburbans, each of us with a pile of hot dogs in our laps. We called out to everyone who walked past and offered them what we had. We laughed with one man who came back five times for another hot dog and teased him about the Pillsbury Dough Boy on his t-shirt. We greeted our friends and asked how their weeks had gone. We prayed with strangers. We smiled and laughed and loved. And suddenly it hit me: I wasn't crabby anymore.

How? How is such a thing possible? The wisdom of the world would tell us that if we're crabby, the best way to fix our mood is to focus on our own needs and take care of ourselves, then we'll feel better. But God's wisdom is different. He tells us to focus on others, to take what already feels spent and spend more, to take what is already empty and pour it out. And somehow, as we empty and pour and spend...we find ourselves fuller than when we started.

As we begin this new year, may we all learn to shed our collection-plate ways and assume the attitude of communion trays. May we be emptied and poured out and utterly spent for the sake of His Kingdom. And at the end of the year, may we be more filled with Him than we could ever have dreamt.

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will save it." Luke 9:24

The End of My Rope

2010-07-03T21:12:00.009-05:00

We all know the phrase, "I'm at the end of my rope," or something similar to that. I'm going to be honest--I have a pretty long rope. I don't mean that pridefully, it's just the truth. God has blessed me with a laid-back personality that can handle quite a bit of stress without actually getting stressed out. That comes in handy with a family as large and ever-changing as mine.

However...

In the last three years or so, I've been pushed farther and farther down my rope.

It started with Vivian (third picture from the right at the top of this blog). Now, I was used to taking care of kids in my family. I was not used to taking care of kids who became part of my family and were then taken back out of my family just as quickly. But that's what I learned to do with Vivian. She became our foster child at six weeks old and lived with us for six weeks, which seemed like forever. Then, with only five days notice, she left to go live with the family who has now adopted her. The day she left, I thought I had died. I slid a little farther down my rope, but I still had a lot left to hang on to.

Next came Shyanne. My precious Shyanne (middle picture above). She also came to live with us at six weeks old. But she was with us for eighteen wonderful months. For that entire year and a half, Shyanne was my baby. We did everything together. Everything. She's the only person with whom I've ever shared a toothbrush, if that tells you how close we were. :-) After eighteen months, Shyanne went to live with her aunt, and a month later, home to her dad. They're doing well and she is a beautiful and smart and precious 2 1/2 year old. But the day she left...I knew I had died. I will never forget the moment I kissed her goodbye and we drove away. It brings tears to my eyes even as I type it one year and one week later. That day, I slid a long way down my rope, but I still had quite a bit left.

During the time that Shyanne lived with us, Noel (second picture from left above) also lived with us for about three months. Noel was four. And...well...Noel was four. :-) Fitting a four-year-old into the routine of life changed it significantly, and life with Noel was not always easy. All four-year-olds have their issues...especially those in foster care, but Noel was a good kid, all things considered. The sadness at her departure was different and less heart-wrenching than with the babies we'd had almost from birth, but we were still sad. The experience of life with Noel sent me a little farther down my rope, but when I looked down, I still had some left below me.

David. My baby boy, my little miracle, my beloved David (third picture from left above). He came into my life at just ten days old. He weighed barely over five pounds and his carseat swallowed him, but it was love at first sight. He was my boy. After about three weeks, David got sick. We had to admit him to the hospital, where he stayed for twenty-five days. During that time, his condition confused every doctor and nurse we encountered, and he ended up in ICU and came close to meeting Jesus face to face. For twenty-five days, I spent as much time at the hospital as I was allowed. I hated it, hated seeing him sick and hurting, but I wouldn't have left him there without me for anything in the world. David had hundreds of prayer warriors fighting for him, and he got better and came home. He lived with us for four more months before he moved to his aunt and uncle's, and then to his dad's. I still get to see him. In fact, he's asleep on the other side of the room right now. But it isn't the same. The day he left, part of me left with him. I will never forget kissing him goodbye, then standing in the street and watching him drive away. Again, tears come to my eyes. When I slid down my rope that day, there wasn't much left.

Ali (second picture from right) is David's big sister. She came to live with us shortly after David came home from the hospital. She was fourteen months old. Ali challenged me. She wasn't a bad little girl. In fact, she was very good, very smart, and about as easy to live with as any fourteen-month-old could be expected to be. But I just didn't connect with her. I loved her, yes. But I didn't connect. I think it's because David was already mine, and she symbolized another part of his life that I wished didn't exist. She reminded me that he wasn't all mine. Ali left with David to go live with her aunt and uncle. She is doing wonderful, and her aunt and uncle are planning on adopting her. But Ali's presence pushed me down my rope a little farther, and I was starting to get nervous at how little I had left.

Valentina (far right picture above) and Vanessa (picture in previous post below) are sisters. Valentina is seven, and Vanessa is nine. Their personalities are as different as night and day. Having older children in our home was a different experience from those we'd had before. It was easier to say goodbye, because they didn't feel quite as much like they were "ours" the way the babies did. They had their own family, and they knew it. However, having them with us was more of a challenge than having the little ones, at least for me. Conflicts with the younger kids were a daily exercise of...um...character building for us all. :-) Plus, the girls had four brothers and sisters who made regular visits to our house, which made life even more exciting. It was more subtle with Valentina and Vanessa, but having them in our home pushed me down my rope still farther until I was hanging on to the very end of what I had thought was a fairly long rope.

This is Amber.

She's thirteen...

...going on twenty.

This is Christopher.

He's eight...

...going on five.

Amber and Christopher just came to live with us this week. Christopher might have autism, we're not sure. Amber is a great kid--super helpful, very sweet, lots of fun...but she's a teenager. ...I'm not good with teenagers. I told a very dear and very wise friend before they came, "I'm not sure I'm ready for this..." I suddenly realized I had reached the end of my rope. When I looked down, there was no more rope. When I looked up, I saw the end of it dangling above me. But my wonderful friend's response set my heart at rest: "Aww, that's perfect, then! Now He can be strong when you are weak!" That's when it hit me--my rope was gone, but I wasn't falling. I looked down again and saw the all-important thing I'd missed every other time because I'd been so focused on my rope: I was sitting in the hand of God. It had never been my rope holding me up at all. It had been His hand all along. Now that I've been pushed off the end of my rope and have nothing left to hold on to, I reach for what has been there from the beginning. I hold onto His hand. And as I do, I'm watching an amazing thing happen: ...He is lifting me up. Not just up, He is lifting me past the beginning of my rope, past the highest point I ever achieved on my own. It is only in this moment that I realize the truth: my rope was never holding me up. It was holding me down. Now that I've reached the end of it, God can take me higher than I ever dreamed. So my prayer for you tonight is that you may reach the end of your rope so that God can lift you up, as well. Because let me tell you--the view is spectacular! :-)

Great Ideas

2010-04-23T00:10:00.007-05:00

This is Vanessa. She's one of our foster children. She's 9 years old. She and I share a room, which is an adventure. :-)

Tonight, I tucked her in bed. We read a book, and then we prayed. Vanessa always prays exactly what she's thinking, and I love that, but tonight her prayer really blew me away. She thanked God for letting her live in "a good place like this." She thanked Him that she gets to go live with her aunt soon. She thanked Him that her aunt has said she can stay in contact with us and "write them letters and maybe come see them once in a while." Then she said,

"God, I think You have really great ideas right now. You always have great ideas, and I will always trust You. Amen."

That is coming from a child whose life has been turned upside down over and over, and is going to be turned upside down again when she goes to live with her aunt in about a month. She doesn't know where her life is headed. She has no idea where she'll be this time next year. Her life is a mystery--a mystery that would scare most of us. But not Vanessa. Vanessa has found the secret: She knows that God has great ideas. And she knows she can trust Him. I think that's 9-year-old lingo for, "Not my will, but Yours be done." I'm so proud of Vanessa. She is learning to trust God and His great ideas, even when she doesn't know what those ideas are or where they will lead her. Thanks, Vanessa--you just redefined "trusting God" for me.

Father, let us all be more like Vanessa. Let us believe that Your plans and Your ideas are truly great, and help us to remember that we can trust You with all our hearts.

" 'For I know the [great ideas] I have for you,' declares the Lord..."

I AM

2010-02-12T02:16:00.003-06:00

Growing up in church, I have heard many different explanations of what God meant in Exodus 3:14 when He told Moses that His name was, "I AM." I've heard that such a name describes His timelessness, that no matter where we are in time, He is I AM. I've heard that this name is simply a testimony to His awesome existence, a declaration that He is. And I'm sure I've heard a marvelous explanation derived from the actual meaning of the Hebrew word for "I AM". I love to think on and process each of those possibilities, but the other day, I was struck with a new possibility for the meaning of "I AM." Could it be that God was offering a comfort to His people? An assurance that everything we are not, He is? He gives this name in the middle of Moses' protests that he is not capable of leading the Israelites out of Egypt. Was He trying to tell Moses, "No, you're not, but I AM"? If so, what does that look like in our own lives? As we protest with, "God, I'm not ______ (fill in the blank)", is He answering with those simple words, the definition of Himself, "I AM"?

"God, I'm not strong." "I AM."
"God, I'm not holy." "I AM."
"God, I'm not courageous." "I AM."
"God, I'm not worthy." "I AM."
"God, I'm not patient." "I AM."
"God, I'm not wise." "I AM."
"God, I'm not beautiful." "I AM."
"God, I'm not perfect." "I AM."
"God, I'm not joyful." "I AM."
"God, I'm not enough." "I AM."
"God, I'm not gentle." "I AM."
"God, I'm not confident." "I AM."
"God, I'm not adequate." "I AM."
"God, I'm not sure." "I AM."
"God, I'm not faithful." "I AM."

...and so the list goes on and on. Everything we are not, He is. In our weakness, His strength is made perfect. He steps into every void, He fills every crack. And then He takes it one step farther--He clothes us with Himself that we might be those things, too. He makes us beautiful and perfect and adequate and confident...He is so very good to us.

So the next time you find yourself crying out, "God, I'm not ______!!!", may you hear His still, small voice whispering, "I AM."

It's a Jedi, it's a Sith...no! It's....

2009-08-19T22:02:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, Jonathan, Stephen and Andrea were playing in the living room. They're Star Wars nuts, so they frequently play as Jedi Masters and Sith Lords. The conversation went something like this (though I don't remember which child said what, so I'm making that part up :-)

Jonathan: "I'm Darth Sidious! bzzzzzzzzt" (That was my attempt at typing an electrocution noise.)

Andrea: "I'm Master Yoda! bzzzzzzzzzt"

Stephen: "I'm the Holy Spirit! BZZZZZZZZZT"

I never pictured the Holy Spirit with supercharged Force lightening coming out of His fingers, but if you stop and think about it, it probably just looks like a thunder storm. :-)

The Reason

2009-06-05T10:42:00.003-05:00

Okay, I know some of you have been worried about me after reading my last post, and for that I am sorry. The reason for all my tears is this: we have been told that Shyanne will be leaving very soon. Her aunt has decided that she wants custody of her. We started the transition process on Monday when Mom took Shyanne to meet her aunt for the first time. I'm not sure exactly how long the transition is going to take, but I believe it will be within the next six weeks. The aunt seems to be a very kind, Christian woman who is open to allowing our family to continue a relationship with Shyanne, which is a positive thing.

However, even with that, this is going to be a very painful trial. In my heart, Shyanne is my child. Having her taken from me will doubtless be one of the most difficult things I have experienced, and possibly will ever experience, in life. I am struggling greatly with this and would appreciate all of your prayers.

Once again, I'm sorry if I worried you all, now you know the reason. I love you all and thank you for your prayers, love and support. You are amazing!

Jesus Wept

2009-05-31T22:42:00.002-05:00

I have done a lot of crying today (The reasons for that shall be divulged soon enough but are not the point of this post.), and as such, John 11:35 has come to mind many times: "Jesus wept." As many of you know, this verse comes right after Lazarus dies, but before Jesus raises him back to life. Growing up in the church, I have heard many explanations for exactly WHY Jesus wept.

First, there is the explanation given by the Jews present at the time: "See how He loved him!" (v. 36)

Then there's the explanation that says, "Jesus wept because of the lack of faith of Mary, Martha and the other Jews."

Or this one: "Jesus wept because He was bringing Lazarus back from heaven."

There are many more explanations, I'm sure, and I'm not going to attempt to judge which of them are true and which aren't. However, I have my own opinion about one possible reason why Jesus wept.

I think Jesus wept simply to show us that it is okay for us to do so, too. I think He just wanted us to know that it's okay to cry. He gave us a glimpse of Himself at a place of sadness and vulnerability to emotions so that we would know that it's all right to be at that place sometimes. The Bible doesn't elaborate here on why Jesus wept. It doesn't give us an explanation or an insight into His thought process at that moment. It simply tells us, "Jesus wept." If we are supposed to be striving to be like Jesus and He wept, then I suppose it's all right (and even blessed, as He says in Matthew 5) for us to weep, too.

I'm sorry Jesus was sad, but personally, I'm glad He wept.

Clouds

2009-05-06T21:32:00.003-05:00

A couple of weekends ago, I flew to Texas to see my dad. When we took off from Tulsa, it was cloudy and rainy, just an overall dreary day. As we flew up through the clouds, it got really bumpy, and we couldn't see anything. Then, all of a sudden, we came up out of the clouds and the sun was shining brightly. The clouds that had looked so gray and dismal from below were bright white in the sunlight and looked like mountains of cotton balls.

As I looked at the clouds from above, it made me think about life, trials and faith. The trials that we face bring clouds into our lives. When we see things from a human perspective, it seems dark and difficult. If, however, we choose to make the journey upward in faith to see things from a higher perspective, everything changes. When we look from God's perspective, the Son shines on all those trials of life and makes them into something beautiful that we couldn't see from below. When we look from His perspective, we can appreciate the beauty of the hard things, even though they're hard.

Even so, there are those times where we're stuck in between and it's bumpy and we can't see a thing. We know God has a plan and we know these trials are growing us, but we just can't see how or why. It is in those times that our faith is truly tested. Either we will lose faith and go plummeting back into the dark, cloudy place we started from, or we will persevere until we come out of the clouds and can see His plan at last.

I pray that today you will trust in His plan, whether you are above, below or in the middle of the clouds. I pray that the Son will shine through and give you hope in the storm.

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:2-5

I can do it myself!

2009-03-31T21:33:00.002-06:00

Shyanne is currently in a stage where she really enjoys her shoes. (I know, I know: "She's a girl. She's supposed to like shoes." Whatever. I'm a girl and I hate shoes. But that's not the point. Moving on...) Her favorite thing about her shoes is putting them on. She sits in the floor and tries her very hardest to put her tennis shoes on by herself. Now, she's very smart for a 15-month-old, but even a very smart 15-month-old can't put her tennis shoes on by herself. She comes very close sometimes, but she can't quite get it. Yesterday, she had been trying for over five minutes to put her shoes on, so I offered to help her. I held out my hand for her to give me the shoe, but she turned away and kept trying. Eventually, she got mad, quit trying, stood up and threw the shoe.

...it made me think of us. "Us" being the children of God. How often do we suffer from the "I can do it myself!" syndrome? How often are we so set on putting our shoes on ourselves that we turn away from the extended hand of the Father? We are so determined to do our job, our family, our life and even our ministry on our own that we won't let Him help us. We forget the words of Jesus when He said, "Apart from Me you can do nothing." (John 15:5) Instead, we try for so long on our own power that we get mad, quit trying and throw our shoe (or our family, our life or our ministry) away in frustration. If we would simply have handed it over to Him, He would have slipped it on with ease and tied it in a double knot.

Father, help us to not turn away from Your outstretched hand. Teach us to give You control in every aspect of our lives. Remind us that without You, we can do nothing, but with You, all things are possible. Help us to surrender, and when we do, unleash Your power in our lives. Thank You for continuing to stretch out Your hand to us even when we don't deserve it. You are an awesome God!

Homesick

2008-12-04T00:01:00.002-06:00

I am homesick...homesick for Heaven. I want my Jesus to come back so that I can be with Him...forever...in a place where there are no tears, no trials, no pain, no struggles, just love. Never ending, unconditional Love. I look at my own pain and my friends' pain (which often hurts me more than my own pain does) and I long for Heaven. I long for the day when we can sit together around His throne, singing His praises for eternity with absolutely nothing to come between us and Him. When will that day come?! I wish I knew, and I wish it was soon. I am growing wearing of having our faith tested and I am ready for it to become sight.

...but then I think of all of those who don't know Him yet. Those who have absolutely nothing to look forward to when He comes back. Those people aren't just strangers. They are my friends. They are my family. How can I ask Him to come back so that I can at last taste the perfection of Heaven, when I know what awaits them if He comes now? I cannot be that selfish! I will wait, patiently but expectantly, for Him to come back when He knows the time is right for Him to do so.

Lord, give me strength as I wait for You, and use me in whatever way You wish in order to bring others to know you, so that when You do come back, as many as possible will go Home with us.

"I wait for the lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning." Psalm 130:5-6

Conversations with Emilie

2008-12-01T17:15:00.002-06:00

Our small group bonfire was cancelled last night because of the wind (I know, that's such a shocker in Oklahoma!), so Chad and Brenda and their kids came over for dinner. We had a great time! We played a game called Mad Gab, which, if you haven't played it, is absolutely hilarious! I'm not going to try to explain it, but suffice it to say that everyone yells out guesses as to what the card is supposed to say.

In the middle of all the craziness and fun, Emilie threw out her arms dramatically and said, "Give me liberty, or give me death!" We all laughed and I, wanting to test her history knowledge, asked, "So, Emilie, who said that?" She gave me that look that says "duh" and said, "Uh, me!" I see a history major in the making! :-)

Thanksgiving

2008-11-24T20:05:00.003-06:00

At the prompting of a friend who has told me, "Update your blog, Halloween is over," I thought I'd move on to the next holiday. :-)

During Bible class on Sunday, Bobby had us discuss what we were thankful for. There were the usual, expected answers of, "Family" "Friends" "Our house" "Electricity" "Church family", etc. Then he held up his Bible and said, "Okay, now tell me what you're thankful for in here." The answers came slowly at first, but then they came more steadily as everyone realized how much there was in the Word for which we are thankful.

Here are a few of the verses that I'm thankful for:

"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst." 1 Timothy 1:15

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

"He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification." Romans 4:25

So, what Bible verses are YOU thankful for?

Happy Halloween

2008-11-07T22:55:00.003-06:00

Well, it's a bit late, but Happy Halloween to you all, anyway. Here's how I carved my jack-o-lantern this year:

The End of a Season

2008-10-30T00:02:00.003-06:00

Well, another season has come to an end at our house. After 3 1/2 months, Noel has moved to another foster home so that she can be with her brother. I know it's a good thing; I know they need to be together, but it still makes me sad. Though she was only with us for a short amount of time, she will be part of our family forever.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die,

A time to plant and a time to uproot,

A time to weep and a time to laugh,

A time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to embrace and a time to refrain,

A time to search and a time to give up,

A time to keep and a time to throw away,

A time to tear and a time to mend,

A time to love and a time to hate,

A time for war and a time for peace.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing can be taken from it."

Ecclesiastes 3

I don't know if this is what the verse means or not, but I know I cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to the end of Noel's time with us. She learned simple things like her ABC's, counting, shapes, etc.; but she also learned eternal truths about our God and who He is and how much He loves her. I believe wholeheartedly that He worked in her life in mighty ways while she was with us, and I am trusting that the things He did in her while she was here will endure forever.

This promise from the Word keeps me going when this foster care thing gets tough. It is my prayer for each and every one of our foster kids:

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

I have to believe that, and I have to make my heart choose to say, "Blessed be Your name," even as He gives and takes away.

I love you, Noel!

The People Have Spoken

2008-10-15T23:18:00.003-05:00

The poll to the left says it all. For my own part, I shall say nothing, either of lamentation or of rejoicing, for I refuse to take sides in this brutal battle of Orange vs. Red.

A Queen, a Painter and a Fish

2008-10-12T16:36:00.004-05:00

Once upon a time, in a land not so very far away, a king and a queen lived in a castle. This King Chad and Queen Brenda decided that they wanted to paint their castle. Painters came from far and wide to help.
Now, there was a prince named Ian and he had a pet man-eating goldfish. This goldfish was kept in a tank in his chambers, but the tank had been relocated to the sink in the royal lavatory so that the prince's chambers could be painted.
The beautiful Queen Brenda was painting in the hallway when, suddenly, her shriek ripped through the air. "CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!"
"What troubles you, my love?!" the king asked anxiously.
"THE FISH!!! THERE'S A FISH IN THE HALLWAY!!! CHAD, HELP!!!"
The noble king, however, was on a grand adventure atop a towering ladder in the entryway and was unable to come to his dear wife's rescue. Helplessly, he cried out, "Is there no one to aid my dear queen?! Prince Lukus! Princess Emilie! Prince Ian! Go! Save your mother!" But, alas, the princes and princess were too far away and could not hear the desperate cries of their helpless father and distraught mother.
But a young painter, by the name of Lindsay, was painting in a room near the hysterical queen. On hearing the screams, she poked her head out of the doorway to see what the commotion was about. What she saw was the queen jumping up and down and flapping her hands crying, "SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! THERE'S A FISH!!!! CHAAAD!!! I HATE FISH!!! THERE'S A FISH IN THE HALLWAY!!! HELP ME!!! IT'S A FISH!!! I NEED HELP!!! THE FISH!!! IT'S GOING TO GET ME!!! HELP!!!" Casting her roller aside, the brave painter leaped into the hallway. She courageously stepped between the frantic queen and her attacker and, with a swift, mighty hand, scooped up the deadly fish and flung it back into the tank, saving the queen from a terrible fate.
Thus did the painter rescue the queen from the fish.

THE END

Helpless

2008-10-02T20:10:00.000-05:00

I hate seeing my friends in pain. More than that, I hate not being able to do anything about it. It breaks my heart to talk to a hurting friend on the phone, to hear the pain in their voice, and have nothing to say except a feeble, "I'm so sorry." I wish I had a way to fix it. I wish I had words that would take it away. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make their lives perfect. I wish that I could take all of their pain, their stress, their problems, everything that's weighing on their minds, away from them. I wish that I could bear it for them, if only for a moment, just to give them a chance to breathe.

I can't.

But I know Who can. So I do the only thing that I can do: I carry them to His feet, ask Him to take care of them, and trust Him to do it in a far better way than I ever could. I want to be like the friends of the paralyzed man in Mark 2 that carried him on his mat to Jesus. That's all I can do, but I will do it. I know I'm a kid. I know I don't understand all of the trials that my friends face. But as well as I can, I will do what my God calls me to do in Galatians 6:2, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." I will carry their burdens straight to the feet of Jesus, because it is the only thing I can do. Fortunately, it is also the best thing I can do.

Six Flags

2008-09-28T16:24:00.000-05:00

We went on a trip to Six Flags with the youth group this weekend. (For more details and some pictures, see Brenda's blog.) We had a large variety of people in our group, and we all had a great time. I was amazed at how well everyone got along. Not just got along, but thoroughly enjoyed one another and encouraged each other. The body of Christ is amazing, even in something as seemingly trivial and unimportant as a trip to Six Flags. We all saw Christ in each other and, hopefully, those around us saw Christ in us as well.

Thanks to all our chaperones that made this trip possible; you guys are the best!

Conversations with Andrea

2008-09-12T21:35:00.003-05:00

I know, I know. It's been a while. *hangs head in shame*

For our family Bible reading in the mornings, we've been reading about the life of Abraham. The other day, we were reading Genesis 22, which is where God tests Abraham by asking him to sacrifice Isaac. When we had finished reading, Mom, Taylor and I began discussing who we would least like to be in the story: Abraham or Isaac.

Me: I would NOT like to be Abraham in that story!

Taylor: Yeah, but I think I'd rather be him than Issac.

Mom: I'd rather be Isaac and have my father do that to me than to do it to one of my kids.

Andrea: I just wouldn't want to be the goat!

She's so logical. =D

Passion

2008-07-26T21:29:00.002-05:00

Well, another year of church camp has come and gone. Our theme this year was "Passion." We spent the week talking about God's passion for us and our passion for Him. I was filled with a sense of peace as I realized just how big our God truly is and just how passionately He loves us. I realized that I have a God Who is so incredibly powerful and enormous that He breathed out the stars (Psalm 33:6). Not just "Twinkle, twinkle little star" type stars, but stars so big that if the earth was a golf ball they would be the size of Mount Everest! (Just think about that for a minute!) My God, Who is that big, loved us, frail, sinful and pathetic as we are, with enough passion to send His one and only Son to die for us so that we could be with Him again. That knowledge fills me with a sense of peace that I cannot describe: it is peace that transcends all understanding. (Philippians 4:7) It also fills me with a passion: a passion to tell others about this awesome, powerful, loving God.

I also have a passion for kids. Hence the reason I just got back from high school church camp yesterday and am leaving to go to junior camp as a junior counselor tomorrow. :-) This is my first year to go to junior camp, and I am really looking forward to it! It should be completely exhausting and insanely fun at the same time! ;-)

So tell me, what are you passionate about?

Four Words:

2008-07-16T22:06:00.003-05:00

Josh Hamilton, Michael Young!!!

(For those of you that don't know, these are two of my very favorite Texas Rangers!)

Let's start with Michael Young. He's the shortstop for the Rangers.
(If you're not interested in baseball that much, skip to the Josh Hamilton story; it has way more than just baseball!=D) Tuesday night was the Major League Baseball All-Star game. Michel Young was voted into the game as the back-up shortstop to arguably the most popular player in baseball, Derek Jeter. Jeter played the first 6 or 7 innings of the game before handing it over to Young. However, it was tied 3-3 in the 9th inning, so the game continued...and continued...and continued! All the way to the 15th inning. In the bottom of the 15th, with the bases loaded and 1 out, Michael Young hit a sacrifice fly to right field, scoring the winning run from 3rd base!!!

Now, if you're not a baseball person and you didn't watch the game, I'm sure that doesn't sound all that exciting. However, for those of us that watched the entire record-breaking 4 hour and 50 minute game and are die-hard Rangers fans, IT'S AWESOME!!!!!!!! =D

Josh Hamilton. Those who know his story all share the same sentiment: Wow!

Josh was an outstanding baseball player in high school, and he went straight into the Minor Leagues after graduating in 1999. He played 4 injury-laden seasons in single A ball from 2000-2003.

Then, on February 18, 2004, Josh Hamilton was suspended from baseball for drug abuse. He battled this addiction, as well as others, for a long time. One day, tired of fighting the battle, he showed up on his grandmother's front porch. She took him in, on the condition that he would never again do drugs. He never has. But more than his grandmother's love and guidance, Josh freely, openly and eagerly acknowledges that it was God who shed light into the darkness of his life and welcomed back His prodigal son.

In 2006, Major League Baseball granted Josh Hamilton permission to play in the Minor Leagues, which he did. Then, in 2007, Josh broke into the Major Leagues with the Cincinnati Reds. In spite of playing only half of the games that season, Josh hit 19 home runs, drove in 47 runs and hit for a .292 average. In the off season between 2007 and 2008, Josh was traded to the Texas Rangers. This year, as of the All-Star Break, Josh has hit 21 home runs, driven in 95 runs (which is two more than the number of games he has played in!) and has a batting average of .310. He has stunned Rangers' fans, as well as most of the baseball world, for this first half of the season.

But the story doesn't end there. When Josh was in the middle of his battle with addiction, he had a dream that he was hitting in a Home Run Derby in Yankee Stadium. At the time, of course, the dream meant nothing to him. On Monday night, however, his dream literally came true. Not only was he voted to be the starting center fielder for the American League in the All-Star game on Tuesday night, but he was also selected to hit in the Home Run Derby on Monday...in Yankee Stadium. This is the final season that will be played in the House that Ruth Built, and the All-Star game and Home Run Derby were held there this year.

But it wasn't enough that Josh was hitting in the Home Run Derby in Yankee Stadium just as his dream had predicted. When Josh was in high school, a man named Clay Council pitched batting practice to him. Josh made a crazy promise to this high school coach: he promised that when he made it to the All-Star game and hit in the Home Run Derby that he would have Clay Council pitch to him. Nearly a decade later, Josh not only remembered that promise, he kept it. Seventy-one year old Clay Council pitched to Josh Hamilton in the one and only Home Run Derby ever held in Yankee Stadium.

Want more? The former record for most home runs hit in a single round of the Derby was 24. When that happened, surpassing the former record of 15, everyone was amazed. On Monday night, Josh Hamilton smashed that record and hit a whopping 28 home runs in the first round! For those of you that have never watched the Home Run Derby, each player gets 10 outs, which (in the Derby) is any swing that isn't a home run. That means that out of 38 Josh Hamilton swings, 28 were home runs! Truly incredible! As Josh cranked out one 500+ foot home run after another, the crowd at Yankee Stadium, which usually isn't very receptive of non-Yankees, began chanting: "Ham-il-ton! Ham-il-ton! Ham-il-ton!" It was simply amazing to watch!

Unfortunately, those 28 home runs didn't carry over into the final round; and, as you can imagine, Josh was quite tired by then. He lost to the other finalist, Justin Morneau, 5 home runs to 3.

What did Josh have to say afterwards, you ask? "I want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for giving me this opportunity. It's amazing over the past few years what God's done in my life, and how quickly He's done it." He smashed records. He wowed the world. He lost the Derby. And when they stuck a camera and a microphone in his face, all he wanted to do was praise his God! Yes, there are still a few worthy role models left in baseball today!

I was reading in the Psalms earlier, and this one jumped out at me as a perfect picture of what God has done for Josh Hamilton...and what God has done and continues to do for each and every one of us. Our God is good, and He continually comes to save His children who call on His Name.

Psalm 40

1 I waited patiently for the Lord;
He turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord...

12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot
see.
They are more than the hairs on my head,
and my heart fails within me.

13 Be pleased, O Lord, to save me;
O Lord, come quickly to help me...

16 May all who seek You
rejoice and be glad in You;
may those who love Your salvation always
say,
"The Lord is exalted!"