Dreamtimereaders

A Sneek Peek At The Edits

2012-07-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

I know it been a while since my last blog entry but the missing time was not waisted. Thats a lie or at least mostyl a lie. Here lately the kindling has ignighted and searing my rear end. In this Dreamtimereaders World, I'm judging a writing contest right now. I have currently poured over 3 entries so far. My eyes want to pop out of this thick skull and over half of those precious brain cells must have killed over. Lets keep praying that my lungs don't keel over for smoking like a coal train. Hey, I like to mulitask.

There have been a lot of lessons learned over the course of this weekend. I never realize that the only thing that sticks out after four hours of reading on a someone elses document that hasn't been critiqued is I/he/she/I/me/they/he/I ext... I would like to encourage everyone to learn how to use a comma's and conjunctions please. The worst problem came mostely as I was reading. What was held in the pages of those documents had been my own mistakes glaring back at me.

Any writer who has ever finished a document is familiar with that feeling of bounding joy because this is your crowning acheivement. So you ask that all knowing and all seeing inner self, "What do I do next?" The answer is so obvious because hey, what else do you do. Its time to publish. This option is so easy to do with online self pub. "NO ITS NOT READY!" If you though the hardest part was getting 20 to 50,000 words from your head to the computer screen, your wrong as I have found out. The real time consuming work is the edits.

My respect for writers has doubled as I try to add up the countless hours spent on one document. Until the craft has been perfected, an authour could easily spend double the amount of time pouring over edits; this is in comparison to how long it took to write the original. An author may never be comensated in royalties. Thats the risk of this trade. Only a small percent become famous like Stephen King. The only reason we keep at it is because we love to do it.

During the two years that I've been a part of a writing group, my knolwedge and writing skills have grown. I don't show much of it because its not perfect yet and I'm lazy. Still, this contest has motivated me to pull out one of those dust laden documents and get to work. I've still got a long way to go before reaching perfect and it won't be easy. I've come a long way from that first typed line which read" Helios's head hit the floor with a resounding whoosh." Lately I've been thinking about carving those words in ceedar and hanging it in my future office to remind me how far I've come.

Helios and the Legend of the Nomiwatta has been shortened to simply Helios.With that said, I would like to present to you a sneek peak not only of the edited version of that first line but also the first couple paragraphs.

Helios/L. E. Leonard/Young Adult

Chapter 1

“It happened again, the same dream that has been so difficult to describe. It usually happens when I’m sick or worn out. When the dream comes, I never want it to end and can’t grasp what it means. I am there but my body isn’t. I’m not contained by anything yet there is a substance everywhere and it engulfs everything. A multitude of bubbles force their way up to a yet unknown destination. What purpose does this serve? Where am I? Who am I really? I am alone but not alone. I have comfort and peace. I’m protected. Is this that yet uncharted sky above revealing its secrets or is it contained within the land of Needham? Is it a bad omen? The images are unclear. An amazing sight to behold, but how to tell you about it would seem almost physically impossible. What does this mean?”

The somber gaze of the Draconian Constellation and full yellow moon lasted an eternity for young Helios Reed. “Time to get up Helios” halted those few and precious moments of sleep. Iosha Reed’s voice called from somewhere underneath his cozy loft and sent the teenager’s body crashing to the floor. Even though his aged wooden cot adorned with almond sheepskin was only an elbow’s length from the floor, his survival instinct did not react. Helios fell onto the rough spruce timbers and managed to scrape and elbow on the way down. The growing frown froze then reversed, revealing a smile. None of this would quell his intense enthusiasm, for this day was special. It only took a moment to beat the dust from his clothes and scratch those curly locks into place. After a quick yawn, Helios was now ready to leave the loft and tackle the morning chores.

Mother Iosha was in the kitchen. As Helios walked in, blistery steam rose from the hot wok on the corner stove. Mother stood by the old whiskey barrel filled with water washing tarantulas. Mom’s savory chicken spice sat quietly on our antique bar beside the battered wood stove. Helios was handed a bowl containing a second batch of twice washed creepers to season and fry. “We can’t waste any time this morning. I want the day’s income gathered by noon at the very latest.” The tired crease in Iosha’s weary eye softened. “Happy birthday son!” Marking the occasion, the first batch of tarantulas began to pop in the hot grease. “What are your plans for tonight?”

Time To Change

2012-06-21T18:32:00.000-07:00

     Finally the rain arrived after almost 2 months suffering from a blistering hot spring. There's no rainbow to be seen from where I am situated, but the view is lovely non the less. Slightly intoxicated, I find it relaxing to lounge on the blue sofa that is dotted with white flowers while watching Dr. Who on the television and enjoying the light breeze of the fan. The fan and the drop in temperature offer some comfort but are not as refreshing as my whisky and coke spilling down the exposed portion of my cleavage.
      I look out the picture window once more and can see the extreme tops of the trees illuminated by the sun's last trivial efforts to scorch my surroundings before her rays are extinguished for the night. It's 5 till 9 but still light enough to be thought of as morning. This is when my morning begins.It's hard fitting in naps during the daylight hours, but my work must continue. Humanity may be an overbearing pestilence on this plantet but I used to be one off them and they perhaps some are still worth saving.
     I smell something in the air. they are starting to come out of hiding or sleeping once again. What ever it is they do during the daylight hours is no concern of mine! My blood is pumping and head racing. My breakfast is stirring . Time to change!

A New Plan For The Cylons

2012-05-08T20:40:00.001-07:00

After completing a scheduled project of the crew members aboard Battlestar Galactica, the blond undercover Cylon agent prepairs to take the next available shuttle and hide within the fleet once again. An adequate amount of information concerning the large ship's occupants was acquired along with confirming footage that the first cylon/human child had been born and was healthy.
Just prior to boarding the shuttle, a stranger tapped the reporter on her shoulder. Casual as ever, she turned. The individual was tall and of an ordinary completion. Underneath his unshaven exterior, showed a human about age thirty to forty. He produced a pleasant smile as a leather bound book was placed in one of her empty hands. "Sorry to disturb you miss but I have something that you should take a look at."
It was not uncommon for members of the fleet to have books on board. A great deal of human habits tend to linger for countless ages. Still the book was in perfect mint condition and the writing on the front in an unknown language. This presented its self as a trivial matter for the undercover cylon. The fleet had been in space looking for Earth for several months now. Who had the time to create a book when everyone was more concerned about survival and fighting off the next cylon attack? Remembering to initiate common human social activity she looked back up. "Thank you very..." He was gone as quickly as he showed up and vanished somewhere in the crowd. A snapshot of his face was stored somewhere that humans called the collective consciousness for further analysis later. She then turned to board the shuttle once more.
The human like cylons met in in an undisclosed location hidden on a smaller vessel. The reporter was then debriefed about the crew's activities and then the video was shown. Before the cylon council departed, a dark skinned male asked, "Is there any more business that needs attending to at the moment?"
"Yes there is." The brown leather bound document was then produced and presented to the others. "It's language is one that is unfamiliar to me but we can have it deciphered in no time with all of us working together."
Approximately six hours in human time passed before the code was cracked and another thirty-five before the text had been deciphered and read.
"This is interesting indeed. At least the religious aspects are quite similar to what we know to be true."
"Could it have been written by a human? For thousands of years they have all held on to the belief in multiple gods and false idols. This has thrown the humans into a repetitive cycle. They don't truly grow or evolve as a species should."
"Yet they are astounding free thinkers capable of great deeds. If only they could let go of their never ending setbacks such as rage, bigotry and the slaughter of other species as well as themselves with no just cause."
Another blond settles back in her chair to momentarily contemplate an idea. "I would like to make a motion to abort our present course of action with the humans and suggest a new tactic in dealing with them. The video has given us a better look into the lives of these intelligent animals. When they are not hurting themselves and the environment around them, humans can be somewhat pleasant and intriguing. Yes, I do believe intriguing computes with my circuits."
"I agree. We should implement the idea's presented to us in this document and give humanity a chance."

Then another male cylon who had been quiet up to this point spoke up. Unlike the others gathered in the room, this cylon presented signs off what could be described as schizophrenia in human terms. For some reason the genetic splicing never fully agreed with his software components. The result presented themselves by giving him a more unpredictable approach to the order of things. "Let us think about this a little more closely. We have seen that over the ages, the human race is incapable of change. I don't feel that they are really worth saving but I won't argue with a majority rule. I will stand by it but it is a pointless pursuit."
"Still, up until now, the end result has always been the same. We all come close to annihilating each other yet a human remnant always remains. I think it is time to shake things up a bit."
"Do you have a plan?"
"We shall proceed as the book describes it. Rather then letting them continue on their present course, we have to slow down their technological growth. Less then fifty-thousand humans remain alive. This is a sufficient amount to keep the gene pool clean. They shall proceed to Earth and we will leave them alone. The fear of us will remain but they will think they have finally given us the slip. A message will be dispatched to all cylon raiders to not engage unless ordered otherwise through this committee. Once Earth has been located, the humans will land and become preoccupied with procreation and establishing a land base. Some of our raiders will be dispatched to create a lush garden while the rest of us wait for the Battlestar Galactica to empty out."
"We must remain under their radar and hidden from sight. As many of their ancient text must be removed for this the work efficiently. I will start preparing undercover ground troops for this job. The humans will have to eventually come to understand that there is only one God and not multiple deities."
"Since human males are able to copulate with female cylons and effectively produce an offspring, a human male must be removed and kept separate from the group and prepared to be raised in the garden. For a time he will be on his own but, when he is old enough, we shall present him with a female cylon to be his wife."
"Once the majority of humans have landed, we must send the coordinates to our cylon raiders to destroy the Battlestar Galactica and all remaining fleet vessels. The coordinates will have to jump them as close to the ships as possible. This will enable a clean launch of our missiles and quick escape. Once this is accomplished, all that remains for a time is to slow down considerably their resilience of mechanical engineering until we come up with the technology to impregnate a human female."
It will require occasional visits to Earth and inconspicuous spying. Unless required, we stay out of sight but not too far away. "
"What shall this project be called?"
"We shall call it the Adam Project."
The cylons then closed the strange new book. On it's cover read "The Holy Bible."

Profound Thoughts

2012-02-01T20:56:00.000-08:00

     The previous week hasn't been the greatest of times for me but it wasn't horrible either. There was trouble shooting on my computer. Somehow the Internet was turned off. Thankfully that has been fixed. I have also been sick again this week. At least my fever appears to be breaking now and I'm feeling better. Still earlier this week, my client and myself were watching a show on the history channel that got me to thinking about why in do individuals not have profound thoughts in a moment of crisis?

     Do you know what Teddy Roosevelt said when his navel secretary (Stark) called to inform our president that Pearl Harbor was just bombed? He said "OH No!" Its not the most insightful of responses when everyone expect our country's leader to set the example for us all. Seriously though, what was he to say in that precise moment. I'm sure the news sent him into shock and utter acceptance all at the same time.

     When I was hit by a truck six years ago do you know what I said right before impact? It was "Oh shit!" I have disappointed others because I neglected to think of God or cry out to him for help. It wasn't a panicked declaration either. It was an acceptance statement mixed with disbelief right before the impact. Oh yea, I also saw a brilliant pretty light when I impacted with that blasted truck too. It wasn't all sweet either. My soul felt as though it would be ripped from my body. Either way it wasn't my time and as I think back, there was nothing I could have added to my statement at that moment to make it more profound because there wasn't any time. The shock of the situation would have prevented me from adding to it anyways.

Tonight's Profound Thought: Be safe everyone and may God continue to look over you.

Watching Kitchen Nightmares

2012-01-16T15:44:00.000-08:00

     Right now I'm watching Kitchen Nightmares. As a certified Grill Cook I've got to say that this show is intense. Most individuals don't realize the pressure and stress a cook undergoes. If you don't have a store owner or responsible manager willing to take charge as the pressure heats up then you have a bad night with a lot of unhappy guest. As a writer I try to bring out and show what we go through in my stories. It is said that the best writers stick with what's familiar. I still have countless kitchen stories that have yet to be shared but someday I hope you have the opportunity to read them.
     For this year my goal is to develop what I have already written and work on a couple stories that have recently been started. I have my homework spelled out for this year as well. This includes working on those dreaded synopsis and building my editing skills.
     Changing the subject while I'm thinking about it. They say that there are some words you can use in your blogs that are profitable and will make you money. Some of these words include auto insurance, credit, school and of course electronics like computer's. I wonder how a person is paid by using these words? Seriously, no one I know would even click on the highlighted word simply because they are not visiting the site to buy something. Everyone I know likes to make purchases from Myer and Wallmart. If they are shopping online its Ebay or Amazon.com. This includes me.
     So what brought about this burst of useless information? I was checking out Alaskan jobs. I'd really love to live in that sometimes frozen wilderness. Even with arthritis advancing in these joints, I'd love to go Big-footing! There is also Moose hunting and lots of fishing opportunities.
      So this is today's dream! Let's all move to Alaska. I need an on staff doctor to assist with the pain and a job that lets me work on the computer. I only want to work a couple days a week and spend the rest of my time fishing and gardening. I need a chicken coop with chickens and some goats. Now, who want's to hook me up? Hahaha, I'll be your best friend for life as long as you don't stalk me. Try to stalk me and I will consume you because I am The Big Fish.
     OK, on this episode of Kitchen Nightmares there is rat droppings, cockroaches and rotten produce in the basement. The meat they are serving is green and rotten before cooking. The smell I would imagine is absolutely putrid. The condition of this restaurant is so disgusting that it would require a week or perhaps longer to clean up. Roaches are the biggest obstacle this kitchen faces. It can take up to a month or longer to completely get rid of them. Only constant vigilance, daily scrubbing and pesticides will take care of the problem. Even with bad management, any cook that allows standards to get that bad needs to find another job. If I accepted a job such as that I would personally call the health department on them. The economy may be bad right now but will not endanger my customers.

In closing I'm sending Chief Gordon a "Hell Yea and Great Job" for the education and help he is offering this establishment. I hope they understand the blessing that has just been handed by Gordon and they make an ongoing effort to actively use the education that was offered to them freely.

Caleb's Story: Christmas Day

2012-01-02T21:02:00.000-08:00

Since breaking his phone several weeks ago, the only way to get a hold of Shelly would be to use Mom’s phone. That involved sneaking in her room after she fell asleep to keep from getting lectured. The bright side of the situation was, Gabriel usually feel asleep by seven and was out all night unless the dogs started barking.

During the conversation with Shelly, noting could be worked out. Everything that went wrong was all Caleb’s fault. Perhaps it was in some ways. But if he put his foot down to try and put a stop to all the nonsense, it would also involve him landing a fist in someone’s face as well. This could lead to jail time and there had been enough of that in recent years to last the rest of his life.

In the end, it was decided for now that they would spend Christmas apart. No one could afford anything decent this year. Actually it was that way for as long as he could remember. Everyone fought all the time and there never was any decent gift exchange. “Hell, all we ever really seemed to have was mom’s damn ornament collection. I can’t be blaming mom for everything when she tried her best. It’s not her fault that I tore up everything that was ever given to me. Time for bed I guess.”

Christmas morning Gabriel made several attempts at calling Caleb before he actually got up. Lisi was there along with his sister Hanna and her two kids. There were also presents. A wrapped box was shoved on Caleb’s lap as they wished “Merry Christmas.”

The Box contained a two liter of cola and all sorts of snacks to pass the time. The gesture was well appreciated, but for some reason it just forced a growing craving to have some Jowl Bacon. “Shelly is the one pregnant and I swear I’m having the cravings for her.” A pair of warm pajamas was given to him and Mom got a PlayStation 2 along with an assortment of games. It was explained that this would be here at his mother’s house just in case he ended up stranded here again. “They all think she deprived me of everything but the crazy bitch just brings it on herself. Not like I’ve got any room to talk. Hell I married her.”

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T20:32:00.000-08:00

     Tonight has been interesting and that's putting things lightly. Now that I've gotten over my crankiness and the pain in my legs have diminished, I'm feeling tired but better. I think it's been a truly wonderful year full of learning experiences and I'm looking forward to 2012. There is a lot of talk about what could happen in the upcoming year. A lot of it is depressing.There is the threat of having bad solar storms, the sea level rising, more natural disasters and the world ending next December.
     I say toughen up, get over it and thank the Lord that your still around. Make the most of the upcoming year. There has never been a better time to quit smoking then right now. Make sure you help a neighbor and let those around you know that you care. Do your parents dishes and clean the house without them asking or trying to bribe you. Remember to recycle your trash rather then throwing it out of the car window. Tell a stranger that they look nice today and actually mean it. Make an old woman smile by telling her she's pretty.
     Why? Because there is already enough sadness in the world already. Stop adding to it an do something useful with your life.

I hope you have been enjoying my rendition of Caleb's Story. I'm not really sure what is going on with it or where it's going yet but a nice story is definitely developing here. Have a wonderful new year everyone and feel free to stop by on any of my sights and leave a comment. Your input is appreciated.

Caleb’s Story: Meeting the new neighbor continued

2011-12-31T20:11:00.000-08:00

“Why was Shelly spazing?” Although she swore otherwise, he wasn’t ignoring her. They were planning on spending time over at Nate’s house playing Modern Warfare. It really didn’t matter that the TV and 360 were already loaded up in the car before she locked herself in the restroom. “I understand her excitement over the baby moving but damn, she needs to understand that I’ve already been through this pregnancy thing with two of my ex-girlfriends. So what if the baby moved. Get used to it because it’s going to start happening more now that she’s almost five months along. I’m going to have plenty of time to watch her stomach look like a wobbling bowl of jelly.”

“I’ll be right back. I gotta take a piss.”

“Caleb, don’t talk like that while there is company present.” Despite the bruised shoulder, Gabriel leaned forward, eyes slanted and ready to pierce someone’s neck with invisible laser beams, if it were possible.

While peeling his tired body off the couch a well-timed fart slipped out. “Mom, now’s not the time for lectures, I gotta go.”

Lisi simply kept quiet but appeared humored by the situation.

With a clenched fist, Caleb closed the bathroom door and paced the floor. It was difficult not punching the wall and after several mock attempts. It was time to stop and think. Anger related issues only produced trouble in the past and it was time to start acting like a responsible man. No one was making the process of growing up easy and the neighbors were starting to find out the marriage wasn’t working. “That’s right, piss break.”

Mom’s voice trailed in through the cracks. At first Gabriel denied not wanting to talk about it but Caleb knew she would open up and share everything. “He’s a good son and I’ve no idea why she tried to kill herself. It’s been getting worse over the last couple months. I think it was over her wanting a three-some. They get into that sort of thing.”

“Dear Mother, so sweet and yet so gullible.” Gabriel always gave him the benefit of the doubts and he was thankful that she always tried to be understanding. Still it was a bad habit of his to mess with her head. Although a happy fantasy of any man, it was only a fantasy and a joke. Women never seemed to get the joke or find humor in it. Mom complained about it to anyone who would talk to her. A quick rinse of the hands and it was time to see what Lisi thought. It was also time to intervene and protect Shelly’s name. Good or bad, she was still his wife and someone needed to defend her. The craziness was what attracted him to her in the first place. “That and her willingness to explore.”

“Hey Caleb, am I to understand that your stuck here with pretty much of nothing except for a change of clothing? Do you know if she’s coming back for you for Christmas?”

He deliberately avoided eye contact and picked up a random piece of paper. It was rolled into a ball and thrown, a successful attempt at playing catch with the fat chocolate lab. “Don’t know, she took the cell phone.”

“I think there’s an extra game system laying around the house that nobody’s using. I’ve got a few other items that I think the two of you could use around her.”

Gabriel protested, “I don’t want you going out of your way.”

“I’m not and so far the two of you seem to be having a miserable time of things.” A playful smirk was directed right at Caleb, “Behave yourself around your mother before I take that broomstick in the kitchen and shove it somewhere you’ll find highly uncomfortable.”

Caleb froze his mock attempts at slapping his mother from behind the chair. “I like the sound of that.”

“They all try to test me and end up running away when it’s found out that I don’t use any lube so just try to behave for now punk.”

The look on Lisi’s face implied experience. She seemed used to dealing with obnoxious men. She was smiling though like it was funny. “Heck, she’s crazy just like all other women. Perhaps old enough to not really care what other’s thought about her too. I’m going to try and call Shelly tonight and talk things out after Mom falls asleep.”

Caleb’s Story: Meeting the new neighbor

2011-12-30T16:58:00.000-08:00

After hearing a repeated knock, Caleb simply pulled the covers over that shaved hard head of his and tried to ignore the thumps from mom’s front door. Still, after several minutes of relentless barking from the dogs, it was time to get up and find out who was disturbing this peaceful morning.

The door barley creaked open before a brilliant morning sun blinded the view. Lisianthus Glass asked “Is Gabriel up yet?” The aroma from a platter of stemming cinnamon rolls tightened the knot in Caleb’s very empty stomach. It growled in an angry protest but he turned his nose away to let in the new neighbor.

Lisianthus preferred to be called Lisi and since moving in next door about a month ago, she had practically adopted Caleb’s mother Gabriel. Caleb, who now lived right outside an Air Force base in Ohio didn’t know what to make of Lisi. She came by to check on Gabriel every day and made sure all her needs were taken care of. Upon pushing her way through the door she added, “I’m not sure if you’re allergic to bleached flour like your mother but Merry Christmas anyways. Did you know you look like hell this morning?” The cheerful smile was warm and welcoming so Caleb greeted it back with a grin and “morning” mumble.

Kindness from strangers was an unknown concept in this household. He assumed she would just hurt then in the end, just like everyone else has done. For now though it was time to practice the Golden Rule and treat others like you want to be treated, at least until they screw up and reveal the beast hidden within.

After situating the rolls on their kitchen counter, Lisi started a pot of coffee. The coffee pot was one of the pride and joys of this home since it was a high priced Bunn Maker. A pot was ready in three minutes every time. The perfect jump start for anyone needing a caffeine fix.

The only way Gabriel was able to afford nice items like this was because she sold her excess prescription pain meds. It wasn’t something any of them were proud of. Caleb detested the fact that doctors had not only turned his mother into an addict by trying to ease her pain, but she had basically turned drug dealer as well to pay bills. Resisting the urge to go back to bed, Caleb sat on mom’s worn green couch to socialize for a few minutes. It was at least distracting from the cursed thoughts that continued to pop up. “If only the job market was better, I could help mom out. If only I hadn’t gotten that infection in my eye and still had vision in both eyes.”

As a plain black cup of Folgers Black Silk was presented to each, Lisi ask “what was all the commotion last night? Are you OK Gabriel – Caleb?”

“It’s too bad they always bring this shit back up when you just want to forget about it.”

Caleb's Story: The Holidays

2011-12-30T16:45:00.000-08:00

The Holidays

How the fight started and who was to blame didn’t matter anymore. Still, that bathroom door needed to open. It wasn’t until the second kick that a sharp crack could be heard mingled with Shelly chucking a shampoo bottle through the opening along with a hearty “Leave Me The Fuck Alone.”

Through a damaged bathroom frame Shelly franticly tried to hurry up and bend a wire hanger over the curtain rod and around her neck before Caleb could stop her. The sight would have been bothersome fifteen to twenty years ago but after dating half-a-dozen crazy women already and dealing with the mental instability of his female family members there was no surprise in this little pity party.

The obscenities continued to pour out of Shelly as she was scooped up and carried out to the bedroom. Caleb ached everywhere. The physical onslaught he was forced to endure didn’t end until Shelly was released from his grasp.

Mom’s nose peered around the corner. “Is everything alright? What was all that racket?” The crystal that used to be part of the bathroom door handle rolled under Mom’s feet as she gathered the courage to inch her way further in the bedroom.

Shelly grabbed her coat, keys, and bag before storming out. Mom, who suffered from increasing mobility issues couldn’t move out of the way fast enough. Shelly ignored her mother-in-law and proceeded to knock her into the hallway mirror as she headed to the front door. What had started out as an inconvenient disagreement now had Caleb pissed. “You stupid bitch! Can’t you at least watch what you’re doing when you’re around my mom?” The shouting was answered by all three dogs happily barking as they could now exit through the front door and roam the neighborhood.

Mom was helped to her feet as their silver Sunbird drove off in the cold evening. “What happened Caleb?”

“Shelly wanted me to fuck one of her friends.”

“Excuse me?” Mom nearly lost her balance but Caleb quickly caught her shoulder. “Nothing, it’s nothing! Just go back to bed and try not to worry. I’ve got to go after the dogs.”

Caleb's Story: She's Pregnant After All

2011-12-30T16:36:00.000-08:00

Caleb sat once more on the edge of that broken down futon pondering what to do next. It was official that Shelly his wife was pregnant. A trip to the doctor less then a week ago confirmed his fears. In his own way he was happy. Caleb was the only male in his family and had yet to produce a son. That growing list of ex-girlfriends had only produced female children up until now.

This was only supposed to be a routine visit into town to drop off Christmas presents and spend some time with family and friends before things went sour as they usually do. A simple routine visit to an old buddy led to another argument with Shelly. It didn’t take long for her to run to her mothers while he was left to visit his sickly mother and spend the night alone once again. “What did I do wrong?”

A sharp pain sped through the muscular arms as fist and knuckles landed on painted drywall but the anger was too hard to confine anymore. “I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Those blasted feet guided Caleb off of his broken down bed and through the house, just to turn off Mom’s radio only to turn and pace back and forth across the floor. Even Marvin Gay had no possible hope of calming this young man’s nerves.

The constant pacing of the living room floor gave him something to do and helped in working out all that built up agitation. Those old and intrepid beams on that worn hard wood floor cracked and cried out as if pleading for the 170 lb. intruder to stop but Caleb had to do something before his agitation caused him to break his mother’s Christmas decorations. Her tree was quite lovely this year as it heaved with her collected Hallmark ornaments filling it from floor to ceiling. The new base that made it spin continuously and made the place feels less poor then normal. Still despite all of this Christmas would never be a favorite holiday. Nothing ever turned out right in this world. Still, the constant pacing of the living room floor gave Caleb something to do and helped in working out all that built up agitation.

That damned pregnancy confirmation changed everything. It was merely 2 weeks ago he was contemplating leaving her. Still, Caleb had promised to love her for better or for worse when the two of them said “I do”. Shelly had always been crazy and over bearing. For the longest time she claims that they would one day wed. Her mind was always set on joining the military as well. A baby on the way changed all plans though, even her impending deployment to Alaska. “How is the military going to handle this? What is the standard protocol for a pregnancy after deployment orders have been issued? Why is that crazy bitch’s mood swings getting worse?”

The frustrating circumstances brought him to the kitchen. Under the micro-wave sat his mother’s faded antique cabinet that used to belong to her grandparents. The paint had long since faded. This family treasure had obviously seen better days. While reaching down to grab a trash bag, he pulled the hinged door open and was immediately reminded that mom had a rodent problem.

Under normal circumstances all the black fecal matter would have been left for someone else to deal with but not this time. It was out of character but something needed to be done to stop the coursing anger through his pulsing muscles. That damned right hand had a mind of its own and reached out to grab the green handled corn broom that stood by the back door in the kitchen. Impulsively the cabinets contents were pulled out before all the droppings were roughly pulled out and spilling all over a cheaply laid linoleum floor.

Within minuets of examining his mess it was thought that perhaps he should war plastic gloves. Despite the oozing wounded knuckles Caleb dismissed the thought, not actually caring and almost wishing he would come down with some incurable illness. “This is really nasty!” Caleb began felling a little better over the current accomplishment. White gloves forgotten, the fecal mess was swept up and in the garbage in no time. “Anything to alleviate the pain she caused. What am I going to do with that crazy bitch?”

After putting the broom back in its proper place he retraced his steps back to the living room to see if there was some other way his mother could be assisted.

Mom’s blasted dogs began barking and crushed gravel from a car pulling in was overheard. At the sight of her little silver vehicle, all pleasant thoughts were crushed once again. The sight of Caleb’s pregnant bride buried all the pleasant thoughts of helping mother out and brought back the pain of what needed to be endured. Yet he would try for the sake of love.

Caleb's Story: Six Months

2011-12-30T16:24:00.000-08:00

From three o’clock in the morning till his mom’s neighbor arrived at ten a.m., Caleb found himself unable to get comfortable on that broken down futon. He was accustomed already to ongoing back problems and the mattress sagged in almost a foot, but this was not the problem this morning. With no driver's license, he had grown irritated at having to hitch a ride to his mother's house late last night.

All his life and especially for the last few years he had grown accustomed to living without any luxuries with the exception of one item. The XBOX 360 laid safely on his mother’s dresser right across from the room. This was the one item that he was proud of and the woman who bore his last name would not deprive him of this, even though she claimed it was hers. Under no circumstance would she keep him from being there for his sickly mother either.

Everyone claimed that the marriage wouldn’t work out. There was a significant age difference between them. His bride was barley 19 and a member of the U.S. Air Force. According to Caleb, “I can’t even fart without her permission.” Still, logically she was his best chance of having a somewhat stable home and access to medical attention, even if she was trying to control his every move. Due to the recent loss of one of his eyes after contracting an infection didn’t help in the process of finding suitable income. There was no hope now of wearing contacts again. He was unable to overcome the possibility that the infection could be contracted again and his other eye would be gone as well. This was another hard blow to the ego of an attractive 34 year old man who wasn’t fully ready to consider himself old and retired.

Up until now his life had been a series of failed attempts at relationships and sticking to potential job related opportunities. There was also that felony on his record. This would always be there to haunt him even though it was just a stupid attempt at trying to show off in front of his friends. He hated remembering the screw ups.

Caleb’s daughters sometimes had the opportunity to visit, but circumstances and that ever increasing failure list along with their nagging mothers kept him from being a proper father. Nagging was saying it nicely and insane ex girlfriend was a better way of labeling them but mother always said "you need to be nice and forgive." Always happy to have the little one's around but too depressed to interact with any of them, he would sleep the day away and allow who ever else was there to tend to the little girl’s needs.

The little brown Pug, who also belonged to his mother and would often use the restroom in front his bedroom door found a comfortable and warm spot right at the back of his neck along the hairline while looking for a bit of warmth and comfort. “Man she needs a bath.” The smell of a dirty dog would not move him from the uncomfortable spot that molded to his slender frame. It was comforting to have another lonely individual there beside him even if it was a stinky little dog that refused to go outside when it mattered the most. At least someone was showing him affection and that they cared.

By tonight things would play out like they always do. The wife would show up late and wanting to make up. She would then remind him of their first prenatal check up they needed to attend in a couple weeks but no appointment had actually be set for. After that would come the cuddling and attempted coercing while trying to get him to move back home with her. It was always the same every time a fight occurred.

Perhaps he would give in just once more, but time was running out for the young bride. Not even being sure that there would ever be actual love between them, it was still worth trying to make things work out as long as possible.

It didn’t matter that the pregnancy could very well be a controlling tactic from her. In six months she would be leaving for Alaska. Those plans were unchangeable in her eyes since signing up for the service she intended to accept her orders diligently, even if those deployment orders took her to some unforgiving frozen tundra. She would not change them even for the chance of having a child with her husband. Six months and things would change once more and Caleb’s hopes may once again be shattered.

Caleb’s Story: Meeting the new neighbor

2011-12-29T20:35:00.000-08:00

As a plain black cup of Folgers Black Silk was presented to each, Lisi ask “what was all the commotion last night? Are you OK Gabriel – Caleb?”

“It’s too bad they always bring this shit back up when you just want to forget about it.”

Twas About Three Days Before Christmas

2011-12-28T21:53:00.000-08:00

The Holidays

Through a damaged bathroom frame Shelly frantically tried to hurry up and bend a wire hanger over the curtain rod and around her neck before Caleb could stop her. The sight would have been bothersome fifteen to twenty years ago but after dating half-a-dozen crazy women already and dealing with the mental instability of his female family members there was no surprise in this little pity party.

Mom was helped to her feet as their silver Sunbird drove off in the cold evening. “What happened Caleb?”

“Shelly wanted me to fuck one of her friends.”

“Excuse me?” Mom nearly lost her balance but Caleb quickly caught her shoulder. “Nothing, it’s nothing! Just go back to bed and try not to worry. I’ve got to go after the dogs.”

Trapped In Skorrgatory

2011-12-26T12:59:00.000-08:00

Chapter 6

By this time he had grown accustomed to the merging and when his next life walked through him, he had no problem grasping who he used to be. He was surprised to find that he was a woman.

Stephanie McCroft had just walked into her barracks and noticed that it was unusually chilly even though the heater in the corner had been on for quite some time. It was almost, winter so it wasn’t all that surprising that the chill had swept into her quarters. She longed to take a bath but at best it could only be a sponge bath with a rub down of eau de cologne. There were no tubs to relax in.

The cold was welcoming to the medical staff though. It meant that the flies would be killed by the oncoming frost. The flies had been horrid. It was impossible to keep her patients comfortable without enough cotton gauze. She prayed that the trenches would stay warm so that the solders wouldn’t get sick. She limped across the floor and flopped herself on the bed. There was much to think about this evening. It had been a rough day today.

She was covered in blood from the fifteen amputations that she assisted with. Those never got any easier for her either. All the men who had been plucked off the battlefield needed immediate treatment within the first twelve hours of them being seriously injured. The constant irrigation of the wounds did little to help these men. She was in charge of directing sterilization before being moved to tend to the seriously wounded. The doctor began his work by extracting the debris before introducing drains in each opening. These are rubber tubes and the doctor used quite a lot of them. Every two hours a dark liquid called “Dakin” is pumped in to keep the wounds in a constant bath of antiseptic. It was a revolutionary breakthrough and the old school doctors of amputation’s had been jealous. Sadly the men had not been found in time so their limbs could not be saved.

It was a bloody war and the casualties from the trenches had been staggeringly high that evening. Of course everything happened in cycles. There would always be good days and bad day in the operating tents. Stephanie was a nurse and despite the good she was trying to do, she wasn’t happy. Tonight her nose stung from the smell of rubbing alcohol. Her ears hurt from the injured crying for help. The wounds on the men were horrible and disfiguring. The flies had been thick and it was a constant battle to keep the maggots at bay. Sometimes the men would be brought in from the field with parasite infestations that had already taken over. She wasn’t sure if she would have night mares if she tried to get some sleep. She shuddered, thinking of the injuries caused by modern warfare. It human body was too frail to be exposed to land mines and machine guns. The way the body reacted to such things was like dropping a rock in a bowl of jelly. It just went everywhere. She wasn’t sure when the war would be over or at least, when she would be able to go home and really rest. That was what she needed, just some time off to collect her thoughts. Tonight though, she knew that she would never leave this horrid place. She had already made up her mind.

It had been weeks since she could even go to a secured town close by just to get away from it all. She had her secrets as well. She often worried what would happen to her if anyone found out that she craved physical embraces from the town brothels. It had been a while since she was able to purchase female companionship. She had a lover back home that was passed off as a room mate. It would be months before they could be reunited though. Oh how she missed her and her long auburn hair flowing down the middle of her back. He friend’s name was Cloie Daniels. Her skin would smell of roses gently kissed by the wind after a summer thunderstorm. Stephanie missed that smell and the warmth of her touch. Cloie never wrote her though. Stephanie hadn’t heard from her since she signed up to join the war effort. The day that she left they had had an argument. Cloie didn’t approve of women helping out on the battlefield. This was a quarrel that would never be resolved. Stephanie had already been gone for five months now and her nursing skills had come in handy. It was what she was raised to do.

She always felt out of place though. Everything had always been wrong for Stephanie. She should have been born a man. Why wasn’t she? Of course, Stephen knew why as he quietly listened to her thoughts. All of his other past lives he had been a man fighting for a war effort. Reality, karma, or God had now thrown him/her a curve ball. He didn’t know if it was to teach him a lesson or to try to make things easier. Stephen felt rather silly knowing that he had always wanted to have a pair of breast to touch. They where now right in front of him and they where his. He could not touch them though. He couldn’t see how firm or perky they were since he wasn’t allowed to control the actions of his former lives. He also knew how it would end and thought it such a waist to throw those boobs away. It did worry him though that he had fallen into this casual thinking of all his former deaths. Someone was showing him this to help him grow. Sometimes though you have to laugh in order to get through those lessons, and ridiculing himself did help ease the pain.

Of course being in a woman’s body was extremely unnerving to Stephen. The emotions that poured through her brain were overwhelming as she sat on the bed crying. It was very hard to keep up with her thoughts. It was like trying to chase after a dog that has just broken free from the house only she wasn’t having a good time. She didn’t have her tongue hanging out of her mouth like the dog would have. The dog would be happy to be free and she wasn’t. Now he was feeling bad about comparing her to a dog. This was starting to get to be too much being a woman. Her feelings coursed through his plasma or whatever you want to call it. He needed to separate himself from Stephanie but he couldn’t now. He had never considered this when merging before. He thought he would be able to watch from the side if things got too intense. He was stuck and would have to wait until she committed suicide to be free. He was not privileged to that information until it happened. It was always a surprise how each one took their life.

“I hope this is the only time I’m a woman” he said to himself.

How much time had passed he didn’t know. Almost instinctively he started

singing in his mind along with Stephanie. What inspired the song? Why now when it

was almost over for her. Then he found the reason in her mind. A patriotic salute

before she passed on was the only reason for the song. It was a lovely tune from long

ago called Mademoiselle from Armentieres. It was a patriotic salute to the boys on the

battlefield from Stephanie. Tears fell from his eye’s as

she called out the lyrics. She sang intently not caring if anyone heard her. Even if they did, they would have slipped into her quarters to sing along. It didn’t matter if you were a medical professional, officer, or even a solder, they all welcomed a little liveliness now and then to forget the troubles of war.

Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
Mademoiselle from Armentieres,
She hasn't been kissed in forty years,
Hinky, dinky, parley-voo.

Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
She had the form like the back of a hack,
when she cried the tears ran down her back,
Hinky, dinky, parley-voo.

Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
She never could hold the love of man
'Cause she took her baths in a talcum can,
Hinky, dinky, parley-voo.

Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
She had four chins, her knees would knock,
and her face would stop a cuckoo clock,
Hinky, dinky, parley-voo.

Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
She could beg a franc, a drink, a meal,
but it wasn't because of sex appeal,
Hinky, dinky, parley-voo.

Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
She could guzzle a barrel of sour wine,
and eat a hog without peeling the rind,
Hinky, dinky, parley-voo.

The MPS think they won the war, Parley-voo.
The MPS think they won the war, Parley-voo.
The MPS think they won the war,
standing guard at the café door,
Hinky, dinky, parley-voo.

The officers get the pie and cake, Parley-voo.
The officers get the pie and cake, Parley-voo.
The officers get the pie and cake,
and all we get is the bellyache,
Hinky, dinky, parley-voo.

The sergeant ought to take a bath, Parley-voo.
The sergeant ought to take a bath, Parley-voo.
If he changes his underwear
the frogs will give him the Croix-de-Guerre,
Hinky-dinky, parley-voo.

You might forget the gas and shells, Parley-voo.
You might forget the gas and shells, Parley-voo.
You might forget the groans and yells
but you'll never forget the Mademoiselles,
Hinky, dinky, parley-voo.

Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parley-voo?
Just blow your nose, and dry your tears,
we’ll all be back in a few short years,
Hinky, dinky, parley-voo.

Stephanie knew exactly what she was doing when she took out the needle. No one would be in to check on her for at least four hours. She also knew that she was allergic to opium and how much to inject into her fragile veins. It was all too much and she couldn’t take things any longer. She jabbed the needle into her upper arm and squeezed.

“Instead of taking lives, I had the chance to give life. I not only could have had a family, but I also had the ability to give life. Stephanie didn’t seem to get any of this. Being a nurse helped, I suppose, but she denied herself the full experience of being a woman. She could have created a family for herself but she would not have a man as an intimate figure in her life. That was another wasted life, I think.”

Strong Tower (Kutless)

2011-12-16T21:37:00.000-08:00

The Afters - Light Up The Sky - Official Video

2011-12-16T21:33:00.000-08:00

Sanctus Real - Forgiven w/lyrics

2011-12-16T21:25:00.000-08:00

"Hold Me" by Jamie Grace with lyrics

2011-12-16T20:48:00.000-08:00

She’s Pregnant After all

2011-12-11T18:40:00.001-08:00

Caleb sat once more on the edge of that broken down futon pondering what to do next. It was official that Shelly was pregnant. A trip to the doctor less then a week ago confirmed the building fears. In his own way he was happy. Caleb was the only male in his family and had yet to produce a son. That growing list of ex-girlfriends had only produced female children up until now.

This was only supposed to be a routine visit into town to drop off Christmas presents and spend some time with family and friends before things went sour as they usually do. A simple visit to an old buddy led to another argument with Shelly. It didn’t take long for her to run to her mothers while he was left to stay at his sickly mothers house all alone and spend the night once again. “What did I do wrong?”

A sharp pain sped through the muscular arms as fist and knuckles landed on painted drywall but the anger was too hard to confine anymore. “I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Those blasted feet guided Caleb off of his broken down bed and through the house, just to turn off Mom’s radio and pace back and forth across the floor. Even Marvin Gay had no possible hope of calming this young man’s nerves.

That damned pregnancy confirmation changed everything. It was merely 2 weeks ago he was contemplating leaving her. Still, Caleb had promised to love her for better or for worse when the two of them said “I do”. Shelly had always been crazy and over bearing. For the longest time she claims that they would one day wed. Her mind was always set on joining the military as well. A baby on the way changed all plans though, even her impending deployment to Alaska. “How is the military going to handle this? What is the standard protocol for a pregnancy after deployment orders have been issued? Why is that crazy bitch’s mood swings getting worse?”

Within minuets of examining his mess it was thought that perhaps he should war plastic gloves. Despite the oozing wounded knuckles Caleb dismissed the thought, not actually caring and almost wishing he would come down with some incurable illness. “This is really nasty!” Caleb began felling a little better over the current accomplishment. White gloves forgotten, the fecal mess was swept up and in the garbage in no time. “Anything to alleviate the pain she caused. What am I going to do with that crazy bitch?”

After putting the broom back in its proper place he retraced his steps back to the living room to see if there was some other way his mother could be assisted.

Trapped In Skorrgatory

2011-12-11T16:41:00.001-08:00

Chapter 5

Once again the agonizing pain had been removed and Stephen was back to the same black speckled screen. He felt small and insignificant in the vast nothingness of dark fuzziness. It was like at night when all the programs have ended and you are left with nothing but dark static. It completely engulfed him and was magnified 1000 times over. He started to feel lost and confused. It was as though he was one of the billion speckles. There was nothing to taste. There was nothing to smell. There was nothing to feel except that he was an individual cell that made up a living organism. It occurred to him that this is what scientist has described as being left over substance from the Big Bang. So, this was how his life and death would always be, part of a big bang.

“How depressing” he thought but he still couldn’t help but marvel at the wondrously magnificent sight before him. Despite his lack of senses, he could see and hear quite well. He heard a click in the distance and knew the viewing of his next life was about to begin. He would also be ready this time because he wanted to know who he really was and what details he could get from his former lives. It was apparent that karma had taken over and placed him on a wheel. At least that is how things seemed. He would have to ride the wheel. That is the only way to move on.

The melting of the vast backdrop had begun only this time there was no green. It started out as gray. Moments later he could make out metal castings. No, it was pots and pans. The walls had been metal though. Stephen could feel a slight humming vibrating through the floor. He was in a kitchen but where was he? At first it looked as if all the pots and pans had been cleaned and put away for the night. At least that’s what he though until he saw the mound of dishes piled up over by a large sink. His hear sank.

“You’ve got to be kidding! They’re going to stick me on cleanup duty!” Stephen felt the now familiar brush of life as he was getting passed through once again. He grabbed the opportunity to fully relive and held on to the figure. He wanted all of his senses back. There had been no fighting of the merger. The man he once was didn’t even realize that he was there or what was going on. As soon as their thoughts became one, he could feel the resentment and anger bellowing up inside.

He was private Stevens aboard the USS Maine. The time and date was 9:30 at night on February 15, 1896. Their orders had been to sail to Havana Harbor just off the coast of Cuba to keep an eye on things. The day at least started out good. Private Stevens and a few of the other sailors had decided to play a prank on one of their officers just to liven things up a bit. It was a harmless prank. Stevens dressed up one of the snappers in a makeshift naval uniform to try and cheer him up. He even made sure the fish would be smiling at him when the cover to his plate was removed. They had all heard it was the officer’s birthday and they just wanted a little laugh. The man was depressed because his wife would be giving birth any time and he had to be out to sea.

The officer wasn’t impressed. As a matter of fact he got downright pissed off. As a result of their practical joke, private Stevens had been given kitchen duty since he was the one who made and delivered it. Oh well, at least he didn’t have to tend to the hot boiler room like the others who had been caught laughing. He at least had been smart enough to read the offended officers face. As a cook, Stevens had learned to read peoples faces. It was a necessity since they will lie sometimes to keep from upsetting you. It was also a safety hazard since you work in dismal conditions and around disgruntled men with sharp knives.

Unfortunately, he was now faced with a pile of dishes from 355 men aboard a 12 inch thick nickel steel monster floating off the coast of enemy territory. Thank God she was water tight and well stocked with torpedoes and other necessary ammunition. The pungent stench of old fish caused him to gag and inadvertently spit up a small amount of bile. It could get stiflingly hot in the mess hall, especially when they were cooking. The ventilation system had been no where near as efficient at modern kitchen ventilation. Air conditioning systems hadn’t even been invented yet.

Remembering time was short, Stephen tried to look for a reflective surface to see what he looked like as a sailor. There wasn’t much. Steel and copper lay all around him in varying forms but it was dark and corroded from too many nights on a hot stove. Searching through Private Stevens mind he found out that he was one of the cooks aboard the USS Maine. It made sense, otherwise how would he have been able to gain access to the officer’s snapper. He felt young and agile. He also felt the sting of a cut on his right hand when the knife had slipped earlier in the day while cleaning fish. It had not been cleaned properly and was now turning red and showing the first signs of infection. His crew mates teased him about the way he tried to filet a puffer fish earlier. It was a random catch in the nets. Another crew member tried to show them how to remove most of the toxic parts but al he did was to make it look like a chopped up lump of flesh.

While eyeing the mess, he wasn’t spooked by the creaking and moaning of the vessel. It didn’t even bother him that he was the only one in the kitchen since everyone else had retired to their quarters for the night. With the exception of a few guards posted on the deck and the snickering sailors down in the boiler room everyone else was in bed. The thing that spooked him was the rumbling under his feet and the resounding boom. It wasn’t a band it was a boom. It was also accompanied by the ripping and tearing of metal. It felt and sounded as if the whole ship was coming apart.

His head was spinning as he was knocked off balance. There was a blinding flash and the pain that shot through his lungs was intense. During the explosion, he had accidentally fallen onto some jagged piping that had broken loose and stuck up through the floor. It hurt to breath and he realized that water was pouring in rapidly. As he lay injured with a pipe sticking out of his chest, he knew what was coming. He would die there. Most seasoned sailors would opt to swim to the bottom and give up their ghost but he was pinned down by a mass of filthy pots and pans. He could hear the metal grinding and jerking beneath and around him. All of the lights had gone out. A fire had started in the far corner of the kitchen illuminating everything in an eerie glow. The risk of another explosion would do him in for sure. He also assumed that he would be consumed by sharks while still alive if he somehow managed to get out of his stainless steel prison. It was a shuddering thought and there was only moments to act before the water would steal his precious breath and consume him in the murky depths.

Then it came to him. The answer literally floated right in front of him. It was the dead puffer fish that had been snagged in the nets along with the snapper. The trash can that it was in was never emptied and there it lay floating right in front of him. He had never tried puffer fish but had heard of how dangerous they could be if it wasn’t prepared right. Their toxins would subdue him in moments. He quickly scooped up the previously gutted fish and tore into its flesh with his teeth.

It was only slightly unpleasant once you got past the smell since it lay there all evening without being chilled. His lips immediately felt numb. He took another bite and swallowed. His skin started to feel prickly and numbness was setting in. He did not know if it was the fish or the cold water trying to paralyze his reflects and he didn’t care. The water is up to his chest by now. His puncture wound stings harshly as salt water licks at the puncture wound. In the dimming artificial light he glimpses his own blood darkening the water around his chest. He takes another bite and swallows. He can no longer feel the fish and it drops from his hand with a slight splat. Then everything is dark once again.

“Seems that I was something of a comedian and a trouble maker during the Spanish American War of 1898 and there was no real purpose there. The sinking of the USS Maine is supposed to have started the war. There was no honor in this! There is only tragedy and two countries arguing over who sunk the battleship. Yea, that war was nothing but a game of who sunk the battleship.”

Trapped In Skorrgatory

2011-12-06T17:59:00.001-08:00

Chapter 4

From that point on it was a seemingly never ending array of wars and his death. One right after the other and he would always felt the pain from getting shot, blown up, or tortured.
As the smoky canvas that surrounds him transforms once more into another life that he has lived, Stephen knows he wants to gain knowledge on the man he once was and the lives he’s lived. He wished he could go back to the Indian camp and find out more about that dark skinned brave that took his life rather than face being a captive or giving up his ancestors land. He realizes that the curtain has fallen on that life and he will not be able to go back. He still wants to know his name, his real name from that life. The loss of a courageous and beautiful wife was tragic enough still weighed heavily on his mind.

It is said that a lot of the North American Indians never told their real names since they believed this would bind them into unwanted control or slavery. To know someone’s real name is to have control over them so they often used sur names like Farting Eagle or Squatting Dog. Not really but the though still caused him to laugh out loud and helped distract him. Who would of though that you would still be able to laugh and joke about such things in the after life but you can. After all wasn’t this one huge cosmic play or joke of some kind? At least that is what he has read in the past by various philosophical heroes of old.

Still he needed to know more about the men or possibly women he once was and started to devise a plan. He would attempt what ghost or spirits are supposed to be able to do. He would try to merge with his former self. Hopefully he would at least be able to see into their minds. Since his surroundings had been something of a large high tech movie scene, he doubted that he would be allowed to control their actions and try to change what has already happened. Really, who can change what once was? It is written that we must all face judgment of all of our deeds. Perhaps this is what is going on. He could only speculate on these things and only after he faced his transgresses would he know what was to happen to him. The thought scared him, but he knew he must be brave. All he was doing was reliving the past.

When the world comes into focus once again, he finds himself on a war torn battle field. A young solder wearing a white shirt and dark pants runs right through him and takes shelter with his platoon behind some trees near a wheat field. This was the queue he had been waiting for while taking in his surroundings. Stephen tried to grab a hold of the man when he hesitated at the cold and turned his head to see if anything was there, but he never stopped until he reached the shelter of the forest line.

“Let’s try this again” He thinks.

It only takes him moments to catch up to the solder. Stephen feels his target is at least distracted enough not to worry on even notice a merging. His back is firmly up against a large tree trunk to protect him against the firing squad on the other end of the field and he is loading his musket.

“If I don’t try it now, it might be too late.” He thinks.

Trying not to alarm the man he takes his time crouching down and tries to assume the same position the man is in. Their arms an torso mold together. Their legs become one. Stephen still can’t feel anything. Their heads merge. Still there is nothing. Wait! It was only a dismal faint odor at first but it grew. Soon it became almost over powering. Then other smells entered his nostrils as well. It was the smell of a man who had seen too many weary days without a proper shower. That wasn’t the worst of it. Gun powder permeated the surrounding air and burned his nostrils with its fumes. The cent of death was also present. Glancing around, he could see the fallen bodies of some of his platoon members. Charlie, Zibly, Craig, and Moss had already been shot and lie lifeless on the ground. Wait he knew their names. He remembered seeing them fall. Zibly had gotten hit the worst by taking a shot right to the head. Zibly became the fallen soldier’s nick name since no one could pronounce his real last name. He was glad that he didn’t see it happen. It is 1863 and his platoon is very close to a wheat field near Gettysburg, PA.

“Stephenson, our platoon’s done fore. We’re surrounded. What do we do?”

His head jolted to where the voice came from but he quickly found himself dropping to a fetal position. He felt the neck muscles of Stephenson tighten up and turning to face his comrade. “Duck” he called out. The voice sounded strange and alien but he remembered it well. It was like he had gone an eternity without speaking. He closed his eyes and covered his head.

His musket fell to his side. And then his whole world went black and he felt as if he was being ripped to pieces. Sulfur and cannon powder burned his nostrils to the point that he lost his sense of smell once again. His hearing was gone as well but he was still alive. Light gradually returned and he realized he could still see. Looking up he could see David. Yes, that’s right, his name was David. There was something wrong with David. He was looking at Stephenson with a blank gaze only they weren’t in the edge of the trees any more. Stephenson, David and the remaining platoon members had been blasted out of the trees by cannon shot. It had hit its mark and eliminated all of his friends except him. But David was still alive. Stephenson could see the tears dripping across his cheeks.

David had been mobile enough to unsheathe his pistol. He pulled it up past his chest and aimed for the upper portion of his head and whispered: “They’ll not take me alive.” The sound of the ammunition firing hit him like a lightning bolt. Stephenson realized that his hearing had returned.

David had left him and he could see confederate solder’s closing in. There was no hesitation and no regret. He had no wife or children to leave behind. True, his mother and father would miss him. He would be considered a hero back home, someone who gave their life to keep their country whole. Even if their names would not be remembered, their bravery will. With this he unsheathed his pistol and despite the pain he brought it up to his temple right above his eye. Then he pulled the trigger and everything went dark in Stephenson’s life.

“As I fought in the Civil War sometime between 1861 and 1865, my life still had some meaning. I still had purpose and a strong need to protect those close to me. Comrades to the end, we would say. Thank God I fought for a good purpose. To bring the country together and eliminate slavery is a worthy cause to give one’s life. I’m glad we won and pray that our country will never be divided again.”

Dreamtimereaders: Six Months

2011-11-27T13:18:00.000-08:00

Dreamtimereaders: Six Months: From three o’clock in the morning till his mom’s housekeeper arrived at ten a.m. , Caleb found himself unable to get comfor...

Six Months

2011-11-27T13:03:00.001-08:00

From three o’clock in the morning till his mom’s housekeeper arrived at ten a.m., Caleb found himself unable to get comfortable on that broken down futon. He was accustomed already to ongoing back problems and the mattress sagged in almost a foot, but this was not the problem this morning.With no driver's license, he had grown irritated at having to hitch a ride to his mother's house late last night.

Caleb’s daughters sometimes had the opportunity to visit, but circumstances and that ever increasing failure list along with their nagging mothers kept him from being a proper father. Nagging was saying it nicely and insane ex girlfriends was a better way of labeling them but mother always said "you need to be nice and forgive." Always happy to have the little one's around but too depressed to interact with any of them, he would sleep the day away and allow who ever else was there to tend to the little girl’s needs.

Dreamtimereaders: Trapped In Skorrgatory

2011-11-26T14:32:00.000-08:00

Dreamtimereaders: Trapped In Skorrgatory: The typo's in this document are deliberate. Chapter 2 What’s going on? I didn’t realize that everything would...