The Hobbit Life!!

An hour before the sleep

2014-12-24T08:52:00.002-08:00

It’s an awfully cold winter. I am shivering- in my skin and bones- I think I almost heard the crack. There’s no sun. It is foggy. And yet it not looks beautiful. The surroundings. I see muddy roads. I have to clear my throat every time I walk. Breathing is a problem. I am petrified to breathe in. It is Christmas tomorrow, but so unlike it. I do not see a lot of red and green. It’s a very different shade of grey today. So, I thought I would add red in my vegetables-carrots, capsicum and peas. That looks beautiful. This tiny abode is my own. It has marks of my laughter, happiness and my fears. We all guard our fears don’t we? And pretend. Happiness is an overcoat. I chase it like everybody that exists around. I prefer walking because I am chasing happiness when I do so. He calls. Like he does always. But we both are cold. We both are occupied. We will see to it. A gush of air on my ears. That’s where the cold hurts the must. I check the windows. The light of the lamp is my calm. It puts me down to sleep. Christmas tomorrow. Wear something red, I tell myself!

-----lily blossoms

Are you travelling alone in India?

2014-12-23T10:07:00.003-08:00

When travelling alone!

I have been travelling ever since I started walking. As a kid, holding my fathers hands, then as a student and later on work.
If I recall, that's what I have done the most. Travel.
But then, wait, shouldn't I be careful?
I am a female..a FEMALE!

There have been incidents of pervertness, of men drooping their eyes out- of somebody randomly keeping a hand on you, but I survived them all!

And I have always loved travelling alone. Been with friends, parents but travelling alone gives you a perspective.

So what should a woman traveller do? What steps she must take when travelling length and breath across India? I can't teach you baby steps but on the basis of my experiences, the following tips may come handy.

1. Keep it simple
Don't clutter. Travel light. Carry essentials. Prefer pouches over shampoo bottles. Would anybody even bother. Keep a pair of walking shoes. Slippers/Sandals. This much footwear will do. Fill your bag with dry fruits and chocolates. You never know.

2. Wallets
We love wallets. Wallets within wallets. Don't carry a lot of lose cash. Keep the change. Cards are a lot handy. If possible, invest on a medium sized leather sling bag with many pockets. You will thank me.

3. Strangers
If you are travelling alone, be at ease. Any discomfort reflected from your side is noticed. Be cool, be calm. Pretend that you know the place. When taking an auto, make sure you know the address and other details clearly.

4. Arriving late at night to a place
What if you reach your destination at a 3AM. Role plays. Not kidding. Everytime I get down, I pretend I am a cop. It helps. Always. Tested Tried WORKED.

5. Booking of hotel
If you have any reference, use them to book you a descent hotel. Make sure the room and bathroom is clean. Check errors,wires, any video cameras? Maybe you won't find anything like that, but your safety is always in your hands. My dad told me that and I agree. So be responsible for yourself.

6. Avoid late nights
When alone, make sure you do all the tripping in a new city by evening. It is always better not to be late alone. If you are camping, time to make new friends!

7. Misbehaviour
What if somebody misbehaves? Do not be scared. Be ready to speak, act, react. Do not create a scene but a loud reply solves issues. Be firm.

8. Prefer an auto over a taxi.

We live in a country where we have grown up to believe that someone will take care of us. Take care of your own self yourself.

Break taboos

Happy Journey!

Alexander Supertramp – Driven By Wanderlust, And Into The Wild

2014-08-07T23:02:00.002-07:00

We all are a byproduct of our desires…of what we dream!

Dreams are a byproduct of our imagination…

and imagination is vivid…

It varies from person to person..

It can make human a butterfly,

and all that butterflies do---

Is wander!

Alexander Supertramp was a young American hiker and traveler who, at the age of 24, relinquished city life to live solitary in the Alaskan woods, away from civilization and material comforts.

Four months later, in August 1992, he was found starved to death inside an abandoned bus he had been using as a makeshift shelter.

There are different kinds of people- not getting into the classification. My focus is on the ones who are driven by wanderlust: a strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world. There are many lost souls who are wandering...for inner peace, for a perspective. This perspective, this search is not for a job, or a career but for something beyond. And beyond is vague.

I read Into the Wild in 2009 – A non-fiction book by Jon Krakauker on the unusual life of Alexander Supertramp, whose real name was Christopher McCandeless, The book is an expansion of Krauker’s 9000 word article “Death of an Innocent”, which appeared in the January 1993 issue of Outside. The book was further adapted to a film directed by Sean Penn with Emily Hirsch playing McCandeless.

If you think that you do not belong here, that there are places in your head, and that you seek pleasure in an escape- Into the Wild is the book for you.

And that is why McCandless is a very important connotation. As he said, “Careers are a 21^st century invention”.

It has been twenty-three years; since McCandless’ decomposed body was discovered inside a rusting bus outside the northern boundary of Denali National Park, Alaska, USA in 1992. The bus was a makeshift shelter for trappers and other backcountry visitors. A note was recovered taped to the door of the bus on a page torn from a novel by Nikolai Gogol:

Attention possible visitors.

S.O.S.

I need your help. I am injured, near death, and too weak to hike out of here. I am all alone, this is no joke. In the name of god, please remain to save me. I am out collecting berries close by and shall return this evening. Thank you,

Chris McCandless

August?

Had McCandless been alive today, he would have been 46 years old.

He was a superhero for many and hated by many.

Alaskans hate him for being the arrogant young man that he was. They termed him as somebody having a lack of common sense. His endeavor into a wilderness area unaccompanied, without sufficient planning, experience, preparation, or supplies, without notifying anyone and lacking emergency communication equipment, was contrary to every principle of outdoor survival and, in the eyes of many experienced outdoor enthusiasts, nearly certain to end in misfortune.

McCandeless was trying to be a Henry David Thoreou, a Tolstoy. He was trying to decipher life. He was finding his own answers.

How many of us will take that risk?

How many of us will leave our secured lives and do something different that drives us.

How may of us would write poetry under the stars?

How many of us would have the courage to look at life by living it…by not becoming mechanical.

An excerpt from the book says…

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”

-----Jon Krakauker, Into the Wild

McCandeless did that!

He wished and pursued something. Something that was beyond the understanding of his parents. He did not hate relationships, but he wanted to seek the beyond. This beyond was far ahead of his family ties and engagements, of a career.

As he wrote in his journal “When you want something in life, you just gotta reach out and grab it.”

McCandeless wished for happiness.

He wanted realization.

McCandeless is one person. I am sure there are several others. Incidents unknown, untold, not reported.

But the spirit of these unheard, unsung heroes is there.

“The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences.”

It drives some fanatical.

It takes those souls to places- as they say when you plan a journey, a place calls you.

“I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them. And work which one hopes may be of some use. Then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor. Such is my idea of happiness. And then,on top of all that, you for a mate, and children perhaps. What more can the heart of a man desire?” --- Underlined by McCandeless in the book Family Happiness by Leo Tolstoy

And he realized…that he needs to go back from the bus, get out and tell his parents, people he loved that he learned in wilderness a valuable lesson…that HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED.

Had McCandless’s guidebook to edible plants warned that Hedysarum alpinum seeds contain a neurotoxin that can cause paralysis; he probably would have walked out of the wild in late August with no more difficulty than when he walked into the wild in April, and would still be with us.

Alexander Supertramp is a learning for many of us.

That it is good to search and seek truth. That truth is undeniable and many a times - harsh. But some of us learn it the hard way. We need blows to find our niche.

We need to know, that in a total world population of 7.119 billion, we are a speck. We are grains of sand constantly moving here and there. Finding space, direction, lightness and the question to the eternal answer:

_{Why I am living?}

As published in Life Beyond Numbers: http://lifebeyondnumbers.com/alexander-supertramp-driven-wanderlust-wild/

Buddha

2014-04-02T10:03:00.001-07:00

She was damaged...

And unlike others who coudn't bear light

became they lived in their hearse...

she could easily face the rays!

It was like a constant battle..

To be cheerful---

To carry sunshine with her...

She fell in love with all her bruises.

They were a constant reminder;

that healing exists...

That happiness is a moment..

And so...

Everyday ..

Her task was to collect such moments...

And when she lay in her bed...

she was grateful for the damage..

Every night...every breath!

Hypersymmetry

2014-04-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

Precisely, nothing is defined.

Everything is random

howsoever hard we all try to align things..

It's difficult to walk on straight lines--

Meandering roads are always more memorable---

It's difficult to search for calm waters...

The surface is always turbulent..

Or you dive in deep for calmness..

but diving is breathlessness..

Wishful thinking

2014-03-22T12:57:00.001-07:00

And there's always a thought involved in the thought...

why would the thought come so often otherwise?

Like maybe you have walked many steps...

thinking about something

Or walked in rain...

pondering over...

And yet did you wonder why would that thought bother you all the time?

Or maybe you were talking to somebody

and you could see this imaginary wall

that divided the two of you

And you wished..

wished that moment

that that wall breaks

like you could punch it hard

and it breaks

and yet you couldn't figure out why you could see

something so invisible all the time..

And there's always a thought involved in the thought

for it may not come otherwise

it may not knock the door of your heart

not ask you to think about it

again and again

that wall...

that invisible wall

says something!

that 25 track playlist

2014-01-21T09:22:00.001-08:00

Hard drives---it is so strange that my story is about it. About what I found in a hard drive and eventually it lead me to something.

Lead me somewhere.

A friend gave me one, to fill some music.

I did the task.

And then…

Because it was a 1 TB object with contents that ranged from movies…documents...records…pictures…I was exploring the device (we all do that).

Not much information, it was one of the worst explorations ever and just a few minutes before I was about to detach the 1 TB boring object I came across a folder…

Had someone’s name (a HE by gender).

I opened it, heard it—some 25 odd songs—

******

Love is weird, or my life has been way to dramatic to term it weird...it is!!

I fell in love—with the 25 odd songs which I knew didn’t belong to my friend.

If you hear good music, you better be good--- Definition of good music is variable but I am referring to the affinity that you develop with somebody listening to a similar taste as yours— I developed a similar affinity to this 25 song stranger.

Well…who did they belong to?

Did I know him in a common circle…

Somewhere?

That question topped the charts—

Next day was closure.

I handed over the hard drive to my friend and opened that folder of 25 songs) …

Who do they belong to?

I love them all, I have saved them …tell me who is he?

My friend gave me a very normal expression—by that I mean he woudn’t show tantrums of not helping me with this..it was a blank face.

Well, that’s all I have! He replied.

And you mean by that…my eyes as big as they can be…

He is no more!

As I said---Love stories are weird.

Listening to the 25 track folder…

Blue

2013-10-17T05:51:00.003-07:00

Blue sky...
Blue ties...
Blue floor...
Blue mind...

Blue hope...
Blue life..
Blue clothes...
Blue valentine!

Blue sea...
Blue flower..
Blue sense..
Blue power!

Frames

2013-10-10T04:56:00.001-07:00

Out from the oven

2013-10-10T04:55:00.002-07:00

Last known surroundings

2013-10-10T04:54:00.001-07:00

A lot of reshuffling is going on—with objects...life...my chair facing the sun—the pens drinking ink—the table kept assorted with things that I would usually need --cups, tea, kettle, pen, papers...—the only clutter being the papers---torn, assorted, rough edged---and a plan in head—that’s fancy life for me—being in a room of thoughts—bringing observations back home.

Out there is noise...unbearable to my ears -- so I fill them with music--with sounds I wish to hear--and then there are days when I try the sun..the voices...but the definition of what's interesting in THEM fades for me...it's like a chance...and howsoever..how many CHANCES you give to people---it's all about them failing you or you failing them--- what you always come back to ...is you...!

Quintessential contrast

2013-08-06T11:36:00.002-07:00

Somebody has to be insignificant...
to know the significance of something!!

Somebody has to be wrong...
to know what right is!!

Someone has to be shallow in approach...
to know what depth in life means.

Something has to be meaningless..
to know the real meaning--

Somebody has to be hated...
to know what love is...

Somebody has to be a devil...
to find out angels in life!

I

2013-07-31T22:12:00.004-07:00

I'm not what I was...
I won't be what I am...

Time will change me...
I'll come out of this cocoon
Like a butterfly..

I'll live my days...
And peacefully die
My grave being the flower..
Whose nector I sip everyday.

I am not what I was...
I won't be what I am.

Like Starlight into Day

2013-07-22T23:58:00.003-07:00

It couldn’t be a better morning—

It is a beautiful one.

When the filtered sun rays…

Pass through the curtains

and fall on your face!

When the chirping of birds

wakes you up;

And not the alarm

that you would put on snooze in no time...

That you woke without any efforts…

But by the efforts of the nature!

It couldn’t be a better morning—

It is a beautiful one.

Sparkle and Fade

2013-07-21T12:39:00.002-07:00

I have seen...

a day with stars,

a night with the sun...

someone walking on the water...

and dancing in the sky!

I have heard---

the voice of the breeze...

the sound of the sea--

and the music of the night.

I am afraid of this universe absorbing me at times--

I wish to absorb it!

I have befriended silence--

because I have realized...

Realized that people drift away..

they may or may not be there--

but this silence--

will unwind---

Unwind my questions from this alter space!!

The GREEN of the leaf and the BROWN of the earth

2013-07-18T21:47:00.002-07:00

Tell me a story...
A story of the green of the leaf and the brown of the earth!
How they met?
Was the fall of the leaf worth it?
Wasn't she scared?
Wasn't she hurt?
Hurt to detach herself from her branches...
And stay grounded forever!

Tell me a story...
A story of the green of the leaf and the brown of the earth!
How the earth knew that she was the one?
How was he so patient?
Patient to wait...
To give the leaf her time!

Tell me a story...
A story of the green of the leaf and the brown of the earth!
And then I would know...
Know that the unreal real
Exists around me!

‪

IS MILK AN ORGAN?

2013-07-15T05:36:00.003-07:00

IS MILK AN ORGAN?

That’s a strange title for anything for that matter—but what if someone’s questions keep floating in your head, what if there’s no respite from them!

So, last night, in my sleep I saw a banner which read “IS MILK AN ORGAN”. I clearly remember it was written in red with a white background.

What lead to this is another story I couldn’t stop myself from narrating to the world and my compulsive desire to keep it in a blog so that it stays forever--what if my kids ask me the same question 7-8 years from now.

Long story short

How you imagine a Sunday with a good old friend?

It’s good and old because we are qualified to discuss any mess in this world, we can nicely take each other for granted, you talk- don’t talk the connection never breaks.

Before I start ripping him off, I wish to acknowledge the fact that I know of what I know when it comes to the latest IT advancements because of him-with all due credits. I would have not been able to survive in this world of technology had my nerd friend not been around.

Sorry for the divergence-so the Sunday plan with this friend was to catch up for a lunch. I very unlike myself reached dot on time, he didn’t show up. And in no time the agreed upon meeting time changed—moreover the place changed.

Anybody doing that to me would have got themselves killed, but there’s nothing much I could do here.

Since I was supposed to treat him, could notice that unusual glow on his face. He was more at ease- was the first one to order—well, if you are on the treating side, you notice the gestures nicely.

After we ordered came the regular question—

So, how’s life?

Now, there’s a difference when a friend asks you how’s life and when a good old friend asks you how’s life.

With a friend, the answer is- It’s good, couldn’t be awesome!!

With a good old friend it’s a conversation starter- it means tell me everything that’s going on lately with no pretentions.

He shared his bit, I shared mine but he stole my thunder with his revelation for sure.

After that we both went to a bookstore.

There’s nothing as fancy as a good bookstore, I guess for both of us!

I’m certainly not dwindling from the topic of how “Milk is an Organ” came into picture.

I’m just very close to that moment which shatters all your scientific beliefs.

So, I and my dear friend got into a small chat.

He has a special interest in biological sciences. By that I mean that he was amongst those students who never wanted to know the difference between mitosis and meiosis, who would always be asked to stand outside the class by their biology teacher. In short, he not knows anything about it.

But a mind wanders, you can’t stop that, a thinker will think and though his software logic is ten on ten, the logic of life science is a mere one.

A leap into the past

My friend had a query on cannibalism last time we met and I remember he showered some questions on me. That was one heavy shower- I’m still not out of the flood (exaggerating).

Questions

What is cannibalism?

I told him the definition but as a proof searched it down and this was it “one individual of a species consuming all or part of another individual of the same species as food, including sexual cannibalism”.

His next question,

2. Is shark eating fish cannibalism?

No, it’s not love, I replied.

3. Is any fish eating any fish cannibalism?

And my head starts spinning from here, I had answers, I knew I was right but at times it's difficult to give a valid explanation. I didn't have one that very moment.

I could half convince him on what is cannibalism. I do not mean to demoralize his inquisitiveness, I so appreciate it, but I realized I’ll lose what I know if I would start this interrogation.

Let's come back to the bookstore.

We were having a small laugh on his last time conversation and he says, “You won’t believe but I have another query”!

I wasn’t startled; I knew it would be something that would blow my mind away.

And he asked,

“IS MILK AN ORGAN”?

Holy cows, I remember just looking at him for 5 seconds.

“No, it’s not. A gland produces it. It better be not an organ”, I replied.

Hmm, I guess he got me, comes another one.

“Ok, tell me, is eating your own hair cannibalism?”

No, it’s not.

But, how can it not be, the definition itself says that eating a part of your own body is cannibalism.

Well, that had some point but I just left it there and then. I knew it was not cannibalism just like the fact that MILK is not an ORGAN.

I promised him I would search for a valid answer with references and I thanked him for the fact that he always had interest in the field of IT.

I thank God that he never became a biologist because if he would have:

Human male chromosome would have been renamed from XY to YY
Mitosis/Meiosis would have had a spin
Cell cycle would have been questioned till eternity

Like they say,

Some things just happen for good.

It surely does!

Oh, and the answer that I promised him here it goes:

Eating one’s own hair/nails is not cannibalism. Fingernail-biting that develops into fingernail-eating is a form of pica (which means an appetite for substances largely non-nutritive may include dead vestial body parts). Other forms of pica include the compulsion of eating one's own hair, which can form a hairball in the stomach.

PS-It’s a question answer session I’ll always remember.

Qualia

2013-07-08T22:29:00.000-07:00

Dawn breaks--

Into the emerald-kissed lake...

Swaying to the summer madness...

Trying to find out a secret!

Secret of the delicious berries,

that are ripening across the border

Who’s prayers are answered?

The doves are asking each other!

The lyrical verses of the poem—

That HE writes on a night lit with stars…

I on the other hand..

See the day transcending.

The fond memory,

of that somebody ..

that a song brought to me!

I close my eyes and hear him..
His hush in my ears…

He opening his mouth

To exchange the un-exchanged words---

Opening my eyes..

I wake up to another day..

Imagine….

I was Imagining this setup..

Of words…

people..

white doves..
In my otherwise black life!

The Yellow Spot on that White Daisy

2013-07-08T00:59:00.000-07:00

Sunlight

just like the yellow spot

on that white daisy

Strange happiness---

Mystical chaos...

Like you'd want somebody

to interpret it for you

But you leave it..

Right there at the back of your mind!

It's been a few blissful days..

Blissful like the yellow spots

that rest on the white daisies!

Have You Passed Through This Night?

2013-07-01T04:14:00.001-07:00

Lights,

Flickering everywhere!

People swaying their heads--

to music--

each other---

Many of them lost,

I see they don't know anything

about their existence,

their heartbeats!

The basic question that I ask myself everyday...

Why I am living?

I doubt they ask this to themselves!

They seem like enjoying---

but I know it’s fake.

From their faces---

From a distance,

I can dive in deep into them...

I know I am attempting to---

come closer;

Closer to my findings---

Answers that I seek everyday--

It’s hard---

hard to find anything in a hollow tunnel--

It’s a black hole...

absorbing all of them with its enormous gravity...

and I can't do anything...

I am just a mere spectator

They hear music…

I enjoy the sound that every instrument makes.

They dance to the beats…

I let my soul do that!

I slowly walk away---

from the sounds…

people…

music…

In a quest of my answers...

that I hope this life would let me witness.

In search of that somebody who would feel the same...

As I do not see…

or know of anyone…

who possibly could!

Hope keeps me going…

Everywhere!

So much...So Less---

2013-06-23T10:31:00.000-07:00

So much...

So less..

So less

So much--

If I become content...

I am uneasy...

When I am easy..

I am scared!!

My wants are in excess..

and I see shortage..

of time and space--

and yet I never wish--

never wish to settle down for less!

Life is larger...

larger than you think it is---

and my canvas is full of colors..

I can never draw an object---

it's a vivid imagery in my head...

Love...

if you watch closely---

that's the common element---

that we all are searching for---

in our work...

in people we meet...

it's the never ending end...

it's the new beginning!

So much

So less...

So less

So much!!

You lost the starlight in your eyes

2013-06-17T03:44:00.002-07:00

In that space ---everything is possible!

That instance

when you didn't listen to your conscience--

that exists in a parallel alterspace

walking with you

like your shadow..

That day--

when you felt--

this is what is right--

and you did not caress

the thought in your mind

That spur of a moment--

when you were in love..

and you did not approach..

the one--

because your ego did not let you

hear the music in your heart..

It is that, that very day

that you lost the starlight in your eyes!

Ah Rain!!

2013-06-06T05:13:00.000-07:00

And suddenly..

when you hate the creepy feeling--

of sweat--

people fainting--

heat waves--

ineffective air conditioning

glasses of cold water - no respite

Angst on everyone around..

HE bestows you with joyous showers

The Dead Butterfly Collector

2013-06-03T11:27:00.002-07:00

time travel---found this in pages!!

I remember--
I was just brushing the dust off..
from old papers--diaries..
Some of the hidden treasures reside in them--
I myself do not dare;
Dare to open them at times--
One such day...
a butterfly fell of my page---

I had given my childhood treasure to somebody...
my collection of butterflies...
I just kept one with me--
At that moment--
it felt right--
To connect to someone--
you give a part of you to them --
in those times--
that was the deepest connection--

Today..
As I see it---
I miss my treasure...
I miss the "Seven" I gave away---
the Eighth is black and dull....

Past told me--never to share in Present!
Present tells me to keep my treasure with myself---
Future --- I don't see it anymore--

I look at the wings...
the delicate black and yellow stripes--
and place my butterfly back;
Safely in the pages--

Writing

2013-05-31T05:15:00.001-07:00

my precious

The moment you write to publicize...
you lose the charm of the pen...
the pen loathes you--
because you are torturing it...
to please others...
the pen wishes to tune itself..
to the beats of your heart...

The moment you write to boast...
the pages flutter...
they flutter in angst---
because they wish to reveal the unrevealed...
they want the hidden truth to come out...
hidden---inside;
Inside the deepest realms of your heart!!

The moment you write for somebody---
you lose the art..
because HE bestowed you with this power...
this POWER to communicate to this MEAN world...
through your words..
through your thoughts...

Write for yourself...
Write to please your own heart...
If that happens...
Everyone would love...
Your words...
Your thoughts!!