My Life

Here's to 2014

2013-12-31T08:16:00.000-08:00

I'm actually really looking forward to the new year. I don't want to make any big, silly resolutions that I won't keep. So I'm going with simple. I want to read more, I want to be kinder to myself, I want to travel more, I want to work on my debt, I want to keep a gratitude journal. I feel like I have learned a lot about myself this year and I'm going to keep learning in the new year. I have started seeing a new counselor and I love the work she is having me do, I can see a difference after only 1 or 2 visits.
I'm also really excited for our cruise, we are going to New Orleans on Saturday and then getting on the ship on Sunday and will be cruising the eastern Caribbean for a week. I'm taking a total of 7 work days off, I haven't ever taken that much time off at once so I'm really excited! I'm going to come back to work and have a new job, I'm taking the receptionist job which is much easier than the job I have now and doesn't require any brain power but I feel like I need a break for awhile. My supervisor told me I can be out there for however long I feel like, so if I get to bored I can always come back to a paralegal position. But it pays the same and you get better breaks and you don't have to deal with rude clients or rude attorneys...so I'm thinking I'm going to love it :) Anyhow that's it for now.

A little relief!

2013-11-13T10:36:00.000-08:00

This is a really short post...I just wanted to write about the new doctor I saw today. I felt heard for the first time in over a year. It was SOOO nice! He changed up my meds a bit and said that he is mostly concerned with getting my anxiety under control, which is what I have been saying to my previous doctor for over a year. It was so great to have him validate that that is a priority!

I can't think of a title

2013-11-08T08:47:00.002-08:00

I think that blogging can be like therapy for me...I don't do it very often but I feel like I can just write whatever I'm feeling in the moment and I don't really have to worry about how someone else is going to feel about it. In the last little while I have gone and met with my doctor to get my medication switched up to see if that would help with my anxiety and depression. While at the doctor's office I pretty much cried the entire visit. She made me feel so stupid and like I'm some sort of drug seeker. She told me that she couldn't understand how I could be so depressed but not be suicidal. Uhh, thanks?!? Anyhow she winded up changing my medication but told me she was going to give me the smallest dose possible and that I would feel terrible for a couple of weeks and that she wanted me to come back in, in two weeks because the dose she gave me wasn't going to help. Because I have all of the time and money in the world to keep going back to see her every two weeks. So I have made an appointment to see another doctor. I'm just not willing to be treated that way, which I have found out means that my depression is a little better. :) I'm still not doing super great at work, I just can't seem to stay focused or even to care that I'm so behind. Which is not good! I'm hoping with a new doctor and getting the right medication on board that will change.
I found out this week that my friend Molly from LA is moving to Utah really soon, she got a job at the University of Utah hospital as a nurse and we have been out looking for a place for her to live. I'm so excited for her to be here!
Oh yeah, I'm also looking for a new therapist. I went to a counselor at LDS family services but I don't feel like it helped at all. I think I just need to suck it up and realize that I'm going to have to pay a co-pay to find someone who can help. I have also started to knit again and I'm going to start sewing a couple of dresses and skirts for Molly Jane and I for the cruise in January. Which thankfully I'm starting to feel less anxious about. I'm going to go and I'm not going to just sit in the cabin and I'm going to have a good time. I might need help getting the motivation but I will have two of my best friends with me and pretty much all of Molly's family and it is hard to stay in my room or be really depressed when I'm with all of them. I'm SO thankful that they all feel like my family and that they have welcomed me in with such open arms!

Life Lately

2013-10-16T15:17:00.000-07:00

I feel like I write this same post over and over. I also feel like at almost 30 I should have this more figured out. I should have myself more figured out. I should also at this point like myself and also learn to not care if someone else doesn't. But for whatever reason I haven't gotten there yet. I have done therapy (didn't help), I have done depression meds (still not sure they are helping), I have prayed (over and over and over), gone to church, read my scriptures and still can't seem to figure this out. Does there come a point where magically you learn to love/like yourself. Where you don't look in the mirror every morning and tear apart everything you see? Where you learn to let other's thoughts roll off your back? I'm assuming that in order to become vulnerable and let someone else (read, husband/boyfriend, what have you) in that I'm going to have to reach that point. Any ideas? Also any ideas on how to stop sabotaging myself? I think I get so dang afraid of being what I envision as where I should be (body wise) that as soon as I start losing weight I start to eat like crap again and quit exercising. I just don't know how to stop the cycle. So any ideas on that as well?

Hadley's second birthday

2013-07-08T13:41:00.001-07:00

Here are some pictures from Molly's niece, Hadley's second birthday party.

4th of July

2013-07-08T13:37:00.001-07:00

Here are pictures from our 4th of July celebrations :)

Yellowstone

2013-07-08T13:29:00.000-07:00

Miracle! I'm actually posting and there will be pictures :) I went to Yellowstone for my birthday with Molly and her family. We had so much fun and I had a ton of fun playing with my new dSLR camera. I'm in love with it and I'm pretty sure even the worst photographer could take decent pictures (talking about myself there). We were there for 4 days, the first day we got there kinda late and just had dinner, swam and played games, then the next day Molly, her mom, and I went shopping and to a bear conservatory and then the last two days we went into Yellowstone with everyone. I LOVED Yellowstone! Anyhow....here are some pictures :)

Hi!

2013-05-25T22:03:00.000-07:00

Surprise, surprise, I have been non-existent in blogging again. I really have been non-existent on Facebook as well. Goodness. So since I have blogged I went home for my sister's wedding. And of course I didn't get pictures because I was in the wedding :) I also went to Las Vegas for Molly Jane's birthday and I did get a few pictures but I posted them all on Instagram and then deleted them from my phone. We have also found out that LA Molly has thyroid cancer and that she will have surgery and start treatment at the end of June. I think she has had some moments of fear but her faith and trust in the Lord is so uplifiting. She feels like this is a blessing and she is just looking to find the lesson or message the Lord wants to teach her. It is funny she tells people that Molly Jane and I were her missionaries but I'm pretty sure she is my missionary :) Today we went to get her Temple clothing because next weekend she will be going through the Temple to get her endowments and since she will be doing it in LA (and because I'm not really Temple worthy right now) she came to Utah so that Molly Jane and I could help her choose her Temple dress and get all of her ceremonial clothing. All day I felt so happy and excited for her, it just reminded me to get on the ball. I feel like I keep saying that I'm going to start going back to church and that I'm going to start paying my tithing but it has been all talk. I need to make an action plan and then stick to it. I have been able to, for the most part stick to my diet plan, so there is NO reason I can't do something so important as getting back to church and doing my part to have a great relationship with my Savior. This post has just been a big run on paragraph. Oh yeah, I talked in my last post about my depression and anxiety...I'm now done with counseling, I'm still taking depression meds but I feel so much better on them! I feel like I have had a fog lifted. I'm still sensitive but I think that is just me, and I kinda like that I'm sensitive :)

It's been a while

2013-03-27T12:30:00.001-07:00

I sort of gave up on this blog after my photos were all deleted. During this time off I also slipped into a depression that I'm still working on pulling myself out of, I learned that I need meds and so I'm on a journey of finding the right combination and medication to help. I thought I would be scared or embarrased to say that I needed help, but in the end I decided that crying all day, every day and not wanting to ever leave my room or bed (more than just wanting to stay cozy) was not good and that I didn't want my life to keep passing by with me not participating. I'm starting to feel a little better but I think we are still a couple of med/combination changes away from being just right.
I have been baking again recently and have been writing my own recipes that seem to just keep getting better and better...which is so exciting! I haven't been taking any pictures though, maybe that is a part of the depression, not wanting to really document anything.
I have also started on weight watchers again. I started in January and I'm down 22 punds so far. We are going on a cruise to the Bahamas next January and I guess that was the kick in the pants that I needed. I have been jogging/walking/lifting weights almost every night. I have taken a few off but I'm exercising more that I'm not exercising! I don't think I have ever been this dedicated to getting healthy but I don't want to fail this time! I'm throwing out clothes as they get to big so that I don't have the option of gaining the weight back and still having clothes. I'm going off sweets and all soda (diet and regular) for the next month to see if I can do it...I like to have new little challenges, it is keeping the journey a little more exciting :)
Ok...that is it for now. I'm heading to Vegas and Pendleton in May so I will have something to blog about in May. But I'm going to try to blog at least once a month. I need to be keeping some sort of journal and since I'm not writting in one this will have to work for now :)

So, So dumb!

2012-07-12T08:26:00.000-07:00

I'm so, so, so dumb. I deleted pictures from my cell phone and that deleted them from my blog. I have lost all of the photos that were on my blog for the last several years. WOW!

Update

2012-06-19T09:06:00.001-07:00

I can't seem to keep this blog up to date. Maybe when I can budget in a laptop. Since Disneyland I have made another trip to California. A good friend of mine that lives there, Molly, was baptized a member of the LDS church. Molly Jane and I were able to be missonaries in our own right to her. She of course also met with full time missonaries and had member missonaries in California that she was meeting with, but we were able to answer a lot of questions and get her started on the journey. It was such a testimony building experience for me. I have told her time and again that I love how Heavenly Father works. I love that not only was she learning about the gospel and being converted but that I was also be converted. I had been struggling a lot with my testimony and trying to decide if I was ready to leave the church. But being able to really examine what I believed and to explain it to another person as we all know helps to strengthen our testimony. It has been so much fun to be on this journey with her! I'm still trying to gain my footing but I finally feel like I'm on the right path. Its funny, all of the Sunday school answers still apply :) I need to be saying my prayers, reading my scriptures, and I think sometimes most important for me I need to be at church. I need to be there physically of course but also I need to be there mentally. I need to stop thinking about what needs done at home and what I'm going to make for lunch. I need to stop worrying about money and what cleaning there is to be done. I need to focus on my Savior and on what he is trying to teach me. My goal for this year of my life (I just turned 28) is to read my scriptures everyday, pray everyday and to attend church every week unless sick. I'm ready to be back 100%, I'm ready to be worthy of attending the Temple again. I want to be there when Molly gets to go to the Temple! I want to be worthy of being married in the Temple. I want to be worthy of a good man and to be worthy of having my children. Time to up my game :)

California Part 2...Disneyland!

2012-04-19T12:15:00.001-07:00

My favorite ride!

Ariel!!!

Bella being silly :)

Chloe! I love this girl!!

The end of It's a Small World

Rhi and Haydn before we got off the boats at It's a Small World

So much attitude! She was really tired at this point :)

Rhi and the girls on Dumbo

Chloe and Kailee at Emma's Birthday Party

Emma posing and dancing at her Birthday Party

Mom, Haydn and Flora at Emma's Birthday Party

Our view at World of Color

Wow that was a lot of pictures! But you get the idea of what our Disney vacation was kinda like. Although maybe the pictures make it look like more fun ;)

So back to where we left off. I arrived back in California on Saturday morning and I was supposed to be met at the airport by my mom and step dad and then we were going to go to Molly's apartment so I could get my bag, feed her cat and get her house key to the front desk so a friend of hers could pick it up to feed te cat until Molly got home. But when I got to the airport my whole family was there and my sister, cousin and the kids wanted me to go with them on a tour bus in LA. I thought it would be quickish and that they had the plans solidified but as soon as my parents left with the only vehicle I found out that they had no idea how we were going to get to LA. So we tried to get a city bus but there were no city buses on Saturday at that airport. So we looked at a shuttle but to get into LA is was going to be $100. They told us that they would take us to a main bus station so we could get the bus that we would need to get into LA and that they would take us there for $40. Still a lot of money but we didn't have any other option at that point. They dropped us off at the amtrak station and left. Yet again we were stranded. We walked and found a city bus line that was running on a Saturday and wound up in Anaheim two hours later. While waiting for another city bus into LA we called my parents and they agreed that they would meet us at DL and we would just add an extra day to our park hoppers. Which winded up being a great idea since we then found out that just to get into LA would be another 2-3 hrs on the bus and then we would have to figure out how to get to the tour bus. Such a mess! But we spent the afternoon at DL and had a lot of fun. It was good to let the kids start out with a short day and see what it was all about.

When we originally booked our DL trip our hotel was across the street from the entrance. A couple of weeks before we went my sister and mom were online and decided that the reviews were bad and so they canceled the hotel and booked us that the motel 6 down the street. Well on Friday we found out that they had overbooked the motel 6 and that they had pushed us out to Irvine. Which would have been fine if there was a shuttle or if we had more vehicles but with only a truck every trip was at least two trips. So on Sunday we got up early and took two trips into DL and then started our first day there. We had a lot of fun! The kids really liked it but were scared at first of everything. Although by the end of every ride they were so happy and loved it :)

On Monday we celebrated Emma's birthday at DL. I paid to have her birthday party there. She LOVED it. She got to see Minny (her favorite) and we all got to decorate a little cake and have some lemonade. We also were able to see a parade and the fireworks on Monday.

On Tuesday, our last day in the parks, we went to California Adventure so we could see Aladin and World of Color. We rode some rides and let the kids ride rides in Bugs Land. We all had lunch and then my sister, the baby and my step dad got tired and were hurting so they decided to go back to the hotel and get some rest and let the baby crawl around and relax. My mom, me, Chloe, Emma, Bella, Flora and Kailee all stayed behind and rode The Little Mermaid ride, had dinner, and got good seats at World of Color. We then headed back to the hotel to finish packing and get some sleep. We were all heading our seperate ways the next morning.

As crazy as our time at Disneyland was it was really nice to see my family and to get to love on the kiddos. I miss them so much between visits. I only ever wish I had a car a few times a year, one of those times is when I want to be able to drive home on the weekend and visit even for just a day. Living so far from them is the only thing that I don't like about living in Utah. But it does make the times that I get to see them really great!

California and a catch up part one

2012-04-04T13:44:00.000-07:00

Well surprise, surprise. It has been almost 6 months since I last wrote on here. Goodness I need to be better!

In that time period we had Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, a California trip and a move. Wow! I don't really have much to say about the first three things. I didn't get to go home and see family at all. We did go to a masquerade party for New Years but like normal I didn't have my camera. But I can say a bit about my California trip.

All in all it was a good time. There were some really hard/sad parts though. I went a couple of days early with my friend Molly Jane so we could visit a friend of ours that lives in LA...her name is also Molly. So Molly Jane (from Utah will be refered to as Molly Jane and Molly from LA will be refered to as Molly) and I arrived in California on Wednesday night. Molly picked us up from the airport and we headed to downtown Hollywood to go to a comedy club. The comedy for the most part was kinda crass but we had a good time anyway. We then headed to dinner at a place that Molly frequents, I don't remember the name, we had a delicious meal but by that point it was after 1 in the morning and Molly Jane and I had been up since at least 6:30 in the morning so we headed back to Molly's apartment and promptly fell asleep on the pull out couch.

The view from my plane ride back to California

The next morning we woke up a little slow and tried to decide what we wanted to do for the day. We decided to take a drive that Molly loves. It was so pretty! We were able to see the hills and the ocean. I took LOTS of pictures of the ocean. We were driving on PCH and Molly asked if we had ever been to Santa Monica Pier. Neither Molly Jane nor I had ever been there so we stopped and took some pictures, soaked in the sun and had lunch on the patio of a cute little mexican restaurant. While we were there we noticed that there was a Cirque show happening so we walked down and looked to see if we would be able to get tickets. Molly was very kind and bought tickets for Molly Jane and I. The show was really cool and we had a lot of fun! After the show we were trying to decide what to do and couldn't really come up with anything so we decided to start driving back towards Molly's apartment and maybe just get dinner and a movie. But on the way home Molly Jane got a phone call that her dad had passed away (he had cancer and we knew he was sick but we thought we had a little more time). We went right back to Molly's house and got all of Molly Jane's stuff packed up and decided to drive her home through the night. It was a long drive but mercifully Molly Jane was able to sleep most of the way and Molly and I stayed awake and discussed the Gospel and I answered some questions that Molly had (she was investigating the Church and had a few things she was still trying to figure out, she has now decided to be baptized 04/22!). It was the first time that I remember ever staying up all night and watching a sunset. Despite the sad circumstances that will be a time that I will forever treasure. My testimony was so strengthened being able to explain it and descibe my feelings on different aspects of the Gospel and the Church. We got into Bountiful on Friday morning and then Molly and I went to my house and tried to nap. Neither of us could sleep so we headed out and had lunch and then stopped and the DI, the distribution center and Deseret Book before heading back to Molly Jane's house to be with her and her family. The plan had been that on Saturday morning Molly and I would get up really early and make the drive back to California and then Molly would get back on a plane and come back to Utah to be with Molly and her family until after the funeral. (I was going to come back for the funeral but I needed to get back to California so I could see my family). After a little nap Molly woke up and said that it would be so much cheaper for her to pay for me to fly back to California in the morning then it would be for her to drive down and then fly back. So she kindly bought me a ticket to fly back to California and I met up with my family before noon. To be continued....

The Cirque Tent

The Pier :)

Catch up

2011-11-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

Ok...It has been forever since I have been on here, yet again. I'm going to just do a quick catch up. As usual (at least for about a year) I have gone down to Provo almost every weekend to see a concert/show. They are typically just local bands that I love :) I have not had a chance to bake or cook much. Which has left me feeling a bit unsettled. I feel like I'm just kinda staying in the house that I'm at and that I don't really live there...I don't really feel comfortable cooking or baking there because I feel out of place and really not much of my stuff is out and usable. I can't wait for my move to Provo...to live in my apartment and to have my things available to me at any time, also to be able to decorate how I want and to just feel comfortable again.
Yesterday was Halloween and I really wanted to hand out candy to trick or treaters so I went to Molly's house and passed out candy to the kiddos. While the kids were coming I also cooked dinner for Molly, her mom, brother and I...I made spinach and cheese stuffed chicken, roasted rosemary potatoes and asparagus. It was so good!
Right now the plan is that I will continue to live where I am until May and then I will either move down to Provo at that time or I will move in with a friend for a couple of months before the move to Provo in July. It seems so far away and yet so soon! I'm so ready for a change but also some stability. I can't wait!

Quick meet-up

2011-09-13T15:32:00.000-07:00

On Friday night Molly and I went to the state fair to see Fictionist (haven't hear of them?!?! You should follow that link and become familiar!) While there I was able to meet up with a fellow blogger (I say fellow blogger like I'm really a blogger, I'm not!) Caitlin from Hue and Hum (you should also follow that link and become aquainted, she is great!). Caitlin just so happens to be the wife of Robbie (he plays guitar for Fictionist, sings some backup and has a jazz project on the side). Can I just say that she might be one of the sweetest people I have ever met!
I suppose I should back up and explain the reason that we had a short meet-up. Caitlin is an artist. Pretty much a really great artist! I have bought a set of three paintings from her, won a print she did in a giveaway and recently she started an etsy shop where you can buy some of the art that she does. In addition to painting she also sews. Like really awesome custom designed t's! So I decided that I really needed one. And I bought one, which brings us to the meet-up.
Molly and I got to the concert and were a bit suprised to see that there were not many people there. Sad! But we danced in our seats (no one else was up and dancing and I get embarassed super easy, so dance in our seats it was) and sang along have a grand time! Part way through the show Caitlin made it there and stopped by to introduce herself and also to give me the shirt she had made for me (I know there have been a lot of these little tangents but I feel in a bit of a tangenty mood, any how because I'm super awkward sometimes I actually thought about how I should say hi, yep awkward! But she was so sweet and came up said she was Caitlin and gave me a quick hug. Thanks for helping this awkward girl!) and she also brought me a print of a painting she had done to say sorry for taking a while with the shirt (I didn't think it took her long at all!). She then said to wait around after the show so we could talk and so that she could get a picture of the shirt and a picture of us together. So Molly and I went back to rocking out :)
After the show we walked over to her and had a short conversation (that was not awkward, maybe I'm not as awkward as I think?) and then took a couple of pictures. Which will bring us to the end of this post...good job if you made it this far :)
p.s. Sorry for the quality of these pictures, neither of us had a camera so we just took them with my cell phone.

Oregon Trip

2011-08-08T18:38:00.000-07:00

I was able to go to Oregon the weekend after I got back from Vegas. It was so nice for me to be able to see my family! It was also excellent that I was able to spend a little time with my friend Afton, I miss her and my family so much! I love living in Utah but I sure wish I could have Utah and have my family and all my friends here! While I was home we went shopping, ate at my favorite fast food (Jack in the Box), played at the beach for an afternoon, spent some really great quality time with my nieces and nephews and I was able to partake of our family tradition of spending Sunday afternoon at my aunts house playing card games and eating junk food :) I love the time I get to spend at home and this time I was able to spend a little more time than normal which was really nice!
p.s. I didn't take any pictures while I was there...I was too busy having fun :)

Vegas!

2011-07-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

Ahh, Vegas was so much fun! I LOVE road trips and so the trip down was great, we sang at the top of our lungs, had mt. dew, talked and got more and more excited for the meet up with our friends and the Neon Trees concert the next day. When we got to Vegas Molly humored Darice and I and drove up the strip so we could quickly see everything. Then because she is GREAT she even agreed to walk part of the strip so that Darcie and I could check things out :) We saw the show at Treasure Island (dumb!), had dinner at Planet Hollywood and then walked to the Bellagio to see the fountains. By that point we were so tired that we just sat down on the sidewalk (Vegas is so dirty, I can't believe I did that!) and waited. We didn't know how often the fountains went off and so once we had waited about an hour we finally asked a worker and it turns out that we had just missed the last one so we had waited there for an hour for no reason! As I said we were exhausted so we decided to take a cab back and not walk the three miles back to our hotel. Holy moly cabs there are expensive. It was about $10.50 for a three mile cab ride. I think we all crashed really quickly that night! :)
The next day we got up and me and Darcie walked to Starbucks so she could get her coffee fix and Molly got ready (she slept later than us and so took a bit longer to get ready) then we all got in the car and drove to the resort that the concert was going to be held at. Molly and I stood in line pretty much from noon until they let us in and then we (Molly, me, Darcie, Debbie, Molly 2 and Taisha) stood at the barricade until the concert started. Although at a couple of points Molly and I were able to get out of line...we both spent $10 in slot machines which we lost right away and then we had a quick lunch.
The concert itself was amazing! I have loved almost every Neon Trees concert I have been to but this one was a new favorite! I was brought to tears a couple of times (first time ever at one of their concerts) and we were front and center. Plus we got to hang out with the tour guitarist after and we were able to see and talk to everyone in the band except for the bassist before the concert....Ok that is all for now. I will leave you with some pictures. There are a lot of them :)

Darcie, Me, Molly 2 and Molly

Molly, Me, Molly 2, Darcie and Taisha

Taisha, Molly, Molly 2, Darcie, Debbie and Me

Tyler Glenn

Branden Campbell

Tyler Glenn, Elaine Bradley, Branden Campbell, David Charles

Tyler Glenn

Chris Cordley

Promise

2011-07-12T12:46:00.000-07:00

Following that last post I promise that my next one will be positive! I'm heading to Las Vegas for a concert with a few friends and I can't wait to tell you about it and hopefully have some fun pictures :)
P.S. Thank you for the comments. Sorry it was such a downer post, I was just having a bad day. I love you all.

Eternal Families

2011-07-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

I feel like not very many people read this and those that do will not judge me for my feeling on this topic or they have heard me talk about it before.
Let me preface by saying that I believe in eternal families and that I do hope, pray and plan on having one of my own.
With that said I kinda want to vent a little bit in the hopes that it will maybe help people to be a little bit more sensitive to this topic when they are at church and it is brought up. I will give you a brief history of my family and then maybe talk about ways that this topic can be so hurtful/hard to hear about at church. Sorry this was the topic in my Sunday school class yesterday and I'm way to shy to say anything in church but I always come away from these lessons feeling sad and a little alone.
Our background: My mom was adopted and then because of problems with her adoptive family she grew up in foster care. In one of the foster homes she was in the family was LDS and she was baptized. Then the next familiy she was in was not LDS and so she didn't return to church because they were another religion and insisted that she attend the church that they went to. My mom has told me that she always knew that the LDS church was true and so when she and my father were married they were married by an LDS bishop but they never attended church (neither were in a place in there lives where they were willing to put God first). My parents were divorced when I was 8 and my mom remarried. My step dad is LDS but has not been active since he was a child. My mom and step dad were separated really early on and stayed that way (they saw each other every day but we didn't live together) and while they were separated my mom contacted the LDS missionaries to have me and my sister baptized. We took the lessons and decided to be baptized. I remember that during one of the lessons my mom asked if she could be sealed to my sister and I and was of course told not at this time because my step dad was not active and she needed a Priesthood holder to be sealed with (her husband). My mom had been active during this time but when she was told that being sealed to her children was contingent on a worthy Priesthood holder she was really hurt and quit going to church. My sister and I were baptized but we both became inactive really quickly. To be honest I was baptized because I felt like it was the right thing but I had never read the Book of Mormon or really asked myself if it was the right thing to be doing (I was really young). I don't ever regret my decision and I have since gained a very strong testimony.
Ok so with all of that being said I'm sure you can see why I have such a hard time with the topic of eternal families. I don't have one. My mom is not active, my dad doesn't believe in this church (he is very active in his church), my step dad is not active, my sister is not active and none of my other siblings are members of the church. I believe that just because my family can't be sealed at this time (I don't think realistically in this lifetime) that things will work themselves out and we will be together but that is of course not doctrine. I just feel like my family will not be broken up. But with that being said hearing all about how great eternal families are and (I hear this almost everytime this topic is discussed) how sad people are for families that are not eternal because they will no longer be families in Heaven is very hurtful. I just feel like there has to be a better way to handle the topic. I'm not blaming the authorities of the church for this at all. Really I don't blame anyone, I just think that people don't really think about what they are saying before they say it.
Wow, sorry that is a really long post. Please don't be offended. I was just feeling really sad and upset when I left church yesterday and thought because I don't journal that I would type it up for my blog. Love you all!

Becka's Bridal Shower

2011-06-10T09:52:00.000-07:00

Wow I have been gone a long time. I have been really caught up in the Provo music scene lately and have been to a concert almost every Saturday and so I just have felt like no one probably wants to see post after post of me raving about a new band that I'm in love with!
But last night I was able to go to the cutest bridal shower I have ever been to! Seriously the girl that threw the shower is amazing. I'm sure she spent next to nothing but it was the prettiest/most unique shower that I have seen. Becka is very loved and it was so much fun to see someone express that love is such a creative way. My cell phone pictures in no way do this party justice. I'm hoping that when the host shares her pictures that she will be ok with me posting some on here. Here are some pictures;

When I got the invite in the mail I knew that this was going to be a blast...it was seriously one of the cutest things I have ever seen and the directions made it pretty clear that we were going to have a good time! To start the night out we started at Becka's house and were given a photo scavenger hunt to lead us to the party destination. The clues were all aspects of Becka and Alex's courtship/personality. It was fun to see and learn things about the two of them. I have known Becka since she first moved into the singles ward that we were in and I knew right away that I was going to be friends with her...I was just hoping that she didn't care that I had already decided that :) When we got to the shower there was a fabulous table set up with the decorations that I took some pictures of. We had a delicious dinner (chicken salad sandwiches, strawberries, salad and a ginger mango lemonade). We then took picture with a frame (I forgot to take pictures, I can't wait for you to see it, it makes no sense with out the visual aid) and then Becka opened gifts. We then sat down to dessert...there was a chocolate mousse, cupcakes with to die for buttercream frosting and a cake that was fantastic. We all got a little favor...you can see the little bag on the plate in the picture. It had a cute hair bow inside. Then we sat around for a bit talking before parting ways.
I was so happy that I was able to be there to celebrate Becka's upcoming wedding. I don't think I could be more happy for her. She is such a great person and I'm so happy that she has found the man who helps her to be as happy as she is. Alex is a great person and they are so blessed to have found each other. Congrats Becka and Alex!!!

Administrative Professionals Day

2011-04-27T15:09:00.000-07:00

I really work for some of the best people. I feel so blessed to be in a job that I enjoy and find to be stimulating but its also really nice that the people that I work with/for have no problem acknowleding and showing their appreciation for the work that I do on a daily basis. They always tell me how much the appreciate me and then on top of that for holidays and also for Administrative Professionals Day they go above and beyond to show that apprecitation. Today they bought me a gift card to a nail salon with enough money that I can get a manicure or pedicure at least 8 times through the summer and then they took me to lunch at the Grand America which is a five star hotel/restaurant in Salt Lake City. I stopped in the gift shop/bakery and bought a couple of things and took a couple of pictures. I also stopped in the bathroom and took a picture of the little chandeliers that are in every stall:) You would think that since this is my third year going for lunch there that I would not be quite as excited by the sites but I still am:)
Here are a couple of pictures

Neon Trees concert

2011-04-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

On Friday myself and my friend Molly went to the Neon Trees/My Chemical Romance concert. I got there at noon to start standing in line since it was a general admission concert and we wanted right up front for the Neon Trees portion of the concert. Surprisingly the wait (all 7 hours) was not that bad. It was cold and it rained/snowed/hailed and there was wind but we met up with some girls that I had met online through twitter and we all had a ton of fun hanging out and getting to know each other. The fans of Neon Trees are so much fun, we always meet new people when we go to concerts and have a lot of fun planning our next meet up:) We were having so much fun all day that I didn't manage to get any pictures of our wait and only got three pictures of the concert (MCR fans are not nice! They kept shoving and pushing us). But we did manage to get right up front on the right hand side (Molly had to stand behind me and protected me from most of the pushing although I somebody on my left kept grabbing my bum, not cool!). After the concert we spent about 45 minutes chatting with the guitarist of Neon Trees and again I forgot to take a picture:)

What I see each morning

2011-03-15T11:43:00.000-07:00

I'm so blessed to live in such a beautiful place...this is what I see almost every morning while waiting for the bus near my house...

It really makes happy to see such beautiful things each morning:)

Day 30, Woo Hoo!!!

2011-03-03T07:35:00.000-08:00

We are finally to day 30! I'm so happy that I took this challenge and had something to blog about for the last 30 days...although I did have a few fun things happen during that time that I didn't blog about. I'm hopeful that now that I'm in the habit of blogging regularly that I will blog at least once a week...we shall see:)
Day 30 says to post a picture of yourself from today (I had no time to take a picture) and to write about 5 good things that have happened since starting this challenge.

1) I have learned more about myself
2) I have been pretty consistent about blogging each day which hopefully will help me to blog regularly
3) I have learned how to write posts ahead of time and have them post at a later time:)
4) I have learned that each post doesn't need to be a novel to be a post!
5) Sometimes just a picture is enough:)

Day 29

2011-03-01T12:10:00.000-08:00

Day 29 says to tell three wishes that you have....
1) To marry a man that I love and that loves me
2) To be able to have children (either naturally or adopt)
3) To have a happy and productive life:)