PECULIARMINDSET

Living Despite Rejection

2014-06-23T15:00:00.001-07:00

From the moment we come into the world, taking our first breath, and letting out our first cry, we have a natural desire for love, comfort, and security. In fact without these things we could not possibly survive. As we grow these innate desires remain strongly ingrained within. We get older and of course don’t have to rely on others to do everything for us, but by this time we have most likely formed a tight bond with at least one person.

As children we always thought it would be so much cooler to be an adult, because that way we would be our own boss, and not have anyone who could tell us what to do. It is funny how desires change with age and experience. Once you grow up and realize everything that comes along with being an adult you sometimes wish you could crawl back into your childhood bed and wake up 5 years old again. Not everyone goes through the same things, and definitely not at the same time, but at one point in our lives we have all been faced with rejection. Those innate desires that remain strongly ingrained within since birth make rejection something that none of us enjoy experiencing. After all, inside we all just want what we call the simple things, but really and truly they aren’t all that simple. They are in fact some of the most important things there are.

I have personally experienced rejection from some of the most important people to me in life, so I write this from a place of sympathy and experience. Depending on whom the rejection is coming from, some days you may question your very existence, and feel like nothing. Every day is a question of, “What is so wrong with me? Why am I not good enough? What did I ever do to deserve this?” You have a hard time seeing the good in yourself because the people you love most have put you through some of the most excruciating pain there is. These feelings infect your mind, and as much as you want to say it’s them, and it’s their lost the pain from wanting things to be different keeps you bound to endless question that go unanswered.

If you have ever found yourself here, my heart goes out to you. This is something that can’t be understood unless it has been experienced, and even the depths of what it can do to you can’t quite be grasped. Rest assured that you are not crazy, and although you may not have anyone who can relate to your personal situation you are not alone. First I want you to understand that what you are feeling is natural. You were born to love and be loved, to want and receive, and especially from those you have spent so much time with, care for, and love unconditionally. No matter who your rejection has come from, mom, dad, brother, sister, husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend you must get to a point where you realize your life is precious and living every day drained over people who have choices just like you do, but are just not choosing you over whatever and whoever must end. You are enough!

Somehow, someway, you must begin to take steps to find your way out of the dark place you are in. If you are a great person with a beautiful heart you will have a hard time with this because you are a natural peace maker, you crave unity, and your level of care for others sometimes supersedes your care for yourself. This must be checked though. Just think if you care so much that you remain depressed, lose sleep, etc you are missing out on the happy life God desires for you. People may reject you, but just as they reject you God can bless you with others who have prayed to have someone like you in their lives. It is true that some people can never truly be replaced, but God created us so strong that we are equipped with everything we need to get through what we feel is impossible. He is the only one who can truly help you help yourself, but here are a few suggestions that may help you:

Give it to God- pour your heart out to him. Be specific, and confide in him all of your pain and frustrations. Ask him for peace, and the ability to move on past the rejection. You may find yourself working at this time and time again, but it may be that you will not see his power, and the work he has already laid out until you have let him have his way with it without you interrupting with actions that more often than none hinder this process.

Forgive them- for whatever reason whether rational or irrational, right or wrong, stupid or smart, they decided to make a decision to deny you of what you desire personally. This comes as an offense to you, and you feel wronged in more ways than one. They hurt you, and it may be that pieces of you hurt daily. You may never get a formal apology. They may never acknowledge that they are wrong, but for yourself, your well-being, and so that you can successfully move forward you must forgive them for whatever you feel their actions are doing or did to you. This entails wishing them well, and requires that you wish nothing bad for their life.

Speak positively of yourself daily- Write affirmations on sticky notes and post them on you mirror so that every time you look in it you are reminded of what a wonderful person you are even when you may not be feeling like one. Inside you know your worth; you know you deserve to be happy. You know that you have so much to offer this world, so give yourself constant reminders anytime the enemy tries to vacation in your mind and cause you to think otherwise.

Focus on your purpose in life- No matter what rejection you face, and from who we are here for a reason. It is not to merely exist and live miserably. That may be where you are right now, but once you realize God has a purpose for your life that nobody can hinder but yourself, you can move out of your own way. You don’t always finish with the same people you started with, so tune in to God, listen to him and let him order your steps. Let him lead you to where you’re supposed to be. Once you feel you are living out your purpose that natural high will elevate you in indescribable ways.

Rejection hurts and I’m not here to make anything sound easier than it will be, but I am here to tell you that it isn’t the end. I’m not saying that your feelings or pain will go away completely. I don’t know your situation. I know that some things only God above can truly understand, but I am here to say that you can and will live a happy life despite once you commit to doing so. Sometimes you need the lesson that comes along with it, sometimes they need it, and in some instances you may never understand the reason. No matter what the case may be, never let rejection win, and as you move forward and grow don’t allow fear of it to keep you from living the best life possible.

SURVIVING SOMEONE ELSE'S SUCCESS

2012-08-28T00:12:00.000-07:00

Key scripture for Today
Psalm 23:4-5
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:

I don't know how you felt as you watched the Medals ceremonies in the on-going London Olympics 2012. For me it was a mixed emotion from excitement to disappoint...

ment & from feeling sorry to envy & admiration. I felt sorry for my country (that has won only 1 bronze by a stroke of luck) & for myself. I envied some nations & their star performers like, China (Li Na -table tennis), Russia ( Aliya Mustafina -gymnastic), Great Britain (Andy Muray -lawn tennis), Germany(I Robert Harting -discus ) , Jamaica (Hussain Bolt the tracts), Kenya (David Rudisha, long distance races) & the US which has gallantly dominated the Olympics (Michael Phelps -swimming) just to mention a few. Of all the above star performers, I kid you not; the one that gave me great anxiety was Phelps. Have you ever met people that make you feel like a failure in life? From the 2008 Olympics when he won 8 Gold medals to 2012 where he has now won a career total of 20 Gold & 2 Silver, that was exactly how Phelps made me feel. The guy is only 27years old, he has conquered the world at 27 & has retired to be a Consultant & instructor to the world. They say the average Olympic age is 17, now, if you are 45 & have never participated before in an event on behalf of your city, let alone your nation & you are watching a 27 year old boy who has conquered the world with 22 medals at 27yrs old you will feel the way I felt. Every birthday is always a valley experience (down time) for me & often leaves me with great tears & sorrow especially as I remember all my former classmates who are now, either Governors or Legislators or multimillionaires & I was almost going to travel that same road this year when I read something that changed my life :

Friend, there are no absolute finish lines for everyone in the race of life. Our tracks are different, our lanes are different & our durations are different. The only thing we have in common is the same umpire. For instance, one person graduates @ age 20 & struggles for another five years to get a job, another might graduate @ age 25 & gets a job immediately. One can marry a virgin & wait for the next decade to have d blessings of children, another lady probably after having series of abortions in her past, becomes a mum almost immediately after marriage. A fellow becomes an MD @ 38 and dies @ 56, another becomes MD @ 55 and lives to 90. that's the irony of life. Life is full of twists, turns, ups & downs and many more surprises & disappointments. Life offers each one of us different opportunities. It is up to each of us to patiently prepare, wait, recognise & utilize every opportunity. We learn on the way. No one knows it all or has it better. There is a reason why we all don't fall @ d same time. It’s so that when one is down, weak & discouraged, the other who is strong, can encourage and uplift him. God never promised that the road would be easy but He promised never to leave nor forsake us. There's no competition in life so let's learn to go easy on ourselves & trust that God is working it all 4 good (even if it doesn't make sense now).I know that there is a time 4 everything but most importantly that "it will come to pass". Whatever trials, challenges or down turn, this too shall pass & in due course, you will be up & strong again 2 lift up those who maybe down around you”. Lots of things in life are by choice & not by force. Let God take the wheels in our Lives.

1Cor10:12 says "when we compare ourselves with others we are not wise (I.e. we are foolish) 1 Corinthians 15:41 (KJV) says " There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars: for one star differeth from another star in glory." Beloved, don’t let Satan bury you in the valley of despair as you compare yourself with your neighbour. You may never stand to be decorated in an Olympic stadium but you are a star nevertheless, you only differ in glory. Just be the best at what God has called you to do. Find your galaxy & shine in it & the world will not be able to ignore you for long .As I celebrated my birthday on the 8th, for the first time in my life I did not cry, but I said to myself, one day you will be decorated with a gold medal for authoring one of the most colourful, instructive, insightful & inspiring devotional the world has ever known. SO HELP ME GOD !!!
Let us pray
Father I receive grace to celebrate others when they succeed, courage to excel in my own calling & wisdom not to compare in Jesus name.

WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?

2012-08-27T23:46:00.000-07:00

Key scripture for Today
1st Samuel 4:2-3,
“And the Philistines put themselves in array against Israel: and when they joined battle, Israel was smitten before the Philistines: and they slew of the army in the field about four thousand men. And when the people were com...e into the camp, the elders of Israel said, Wherefore hath the LORD smitten us to day before the Philistines? Let us fetch the ark of the covenant of the LORD out of Shiloh unto us, that, when it cometh among us, it may save us out of the hand of our enemies. "
Life is only 10% what happens to you but 90% what happened in you. ”. Israel just experienced the tragic loss of about 4 thousand men, however, their response to this situation produces even more tragedy. Let us examine the response of the elders of Israel.
1. BLAME: “Wherefore hath the LORD smitten us to day before the Philistines? Their first response was to shift the blame to God’s side, thus taking responsibility off them. Does this describe your present response to that particular incidence in your life where God has become the number one culprit? Dwight D. Eisenhower said "The search for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions.”
In Discipleship Journal, Don McCullough wrote: "John Killinger tells about the coach of a minor league baseball team who was so disgusted with his center fielder's performance that he ordered him to the bench and assumed the position himself. The first ball that came into center field took a bad hop and hit the coach in the mouth. The next one was a high fly ball, which he lost in the glare of the sun--until it bounced off his forehead. The third was a hard line drive that he charged with outstretched arms; unfortunately, it flew between is hands and smacked his eye. Furious, he ran back to the bench, grabbed the center fielder by the uniform, and shouted. 'You idiot! You've got center field so messed up that even I, as good as I am can't even play there!'

Beloved, All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame everyone else, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or tragedy or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty of something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy. Every man is the architect of his own life. He builds it just the way he wants it. However, after he has built what he wants, he sometimes decides that he doesn't like what he has built and looks for someone or something to blame instead of changing himself. If you can blame God for your situation, tell me, who else can help you ? Let's stop behaving like Adam & Eve (Gen 3:12-13)
Hyman G. Rickover Concluded “Responsibility is a unique concept... You may share it with others, but your portion is not diminished. You may delegate it, but it is still with you... If responsibility is rightfully yours, no evasion, or ignorance or passing the blame can shift the burden to someone else. Unless you can point your finger at the man who is responsible when something goes wrong, then you have never had anyone really responsible.”
Let us pray

Father, I thank you because you are able to work everything for my good, I choose to take responsibility for my destiny with your grace at work in me, & today I repent where I was wrong, in Jesus name. Amen.
Have a fulfilled Tuesday.
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The Five (Difficult) People You Meet at Work ... and How to Get Along With Them

2012-08-27T03:40:00.000-07:00

Having problems getting along with your colleagues work? then take a few moments to read this: The workplace, like anyplace you bring a bunch of people together, is a jumble of many different personalities. In addition to coworkers who are easy to work with, you will also find difficult people at work. What sets the workplace apart from many other places is that everyone -- even the difficult people -- must cooperate in order to be productive. Here are five types of difficult people you may meet at work and advice for getting along with each one.

The Chatterbox
Let's start with your most affable coworker. The chatterbox usually means well. She is friendly and wants to share all her thoughts (every last one of them) with you. She isn't trying cause harm to anyone ... her incessant talking is just keeping you from concentrating on your work. Here are some things you can do to quiet down your chattering co-worker so you can get your job done. Rather than risk insulting your colleague, put the blame on yourself. Tell your coworker you have trouble concentrating while you are listening to her very engaging stories. You'd love to hear them at some other time, just not while you're working. Then, if you truly enjoy her company, have lunch with her once a week.

HINT: Don’t get it wrong, it could be a “he”.

The Gossip

The gossip seems to know everything about everyone and he wants to share it. Should you listen to what your gossiping colleague has to say? Yes, you should listen to it since it is often a good way to hear news that may not make it through more formal information channels. The problem with gossip is that it carries both elements of truth and untruth, so view it with a cynical eye. Listen to your gossipy coworker quietly. Don't become a gossip too. However, if the gossip being shared is of a very personal nature, for example he shares with you news of another coworker's marital problems, change the subject or say that you don't feel right discussing someone behind his back.

HINT: Anyone who gossips WITH you, would gossip ABOUT you.

The Complainer
There's always one person in a group who can never find anything about which to be happy. If she's not complaining about her health or her family, she's complaining about her job, the company, or your boss. Of course, some of her complaints may be legitimate, but the incessant whining is getting on your nerves. Generally, the complainer isn't looking for advice so offering it probably won't do any good. Change the subject whenever the bellyaching begins. Your colleague should get the hint after you do this repeatedly.

The Delegator
In almost every workplace you'll find someone who wants to share his work with his colleagues. We're not talking about those who have a legitimate reason to delegate work to others, for example managers or team leaders. We are speaking of those who either can't do all the work they have been given or don't want to do it. If team work is encouraged in your office and you have time to help your colleague you should. However, if managers are the only ones who have the authority to delegate and you already have your hands full, then you have to turn down the request. Tell your coworker you have your own work with which to deal.

The Credit Grabber
The credit grabber does not acknowledge any help she receives from others. She accepts all the praise for a project without mentioning that she didn't do it alone. The first time this happens, consider it a mistake. Mention it to your colleague and ask her to let others know about your participation. If she doesn't, or if this happens again, make sure you let others know about the role you played in getting a project done. Then, unless you are mandated to work with this person, refuse to help out again.

What is your Life Purpose?

2011-08-25T10:18:00.001-07:00

The word ‘purpose’ in the dictionary is described as: something that one intends to get or do; or the object for which something exists or is done with intention and planning. Here’s my interpretation of this word. I believe that purpose is an idea of completeness, a goal, mission, or dream that is intrinsically desired to the point of true ambition and intention. Whether we keep a purpose in view with conscious persistence is the question to our happiness in life. In all, a purpose is a dream or passion that has carefully been thought through and studied until it has become a master plan that is put into action.
How we develop our purpose is one of the keys to our happiness and fulfillment in life. So finding your life purpose may start with questions like: Why do you feel you are here? There are so many answers to this question, but what is it that really sticks out in your mind, what answer, when carefully thought out, gives you a powerful sense of good for everyone around you and in your world at this moment in time?
What do you love?
What are the most valuable feelings and accomplishments in your life?
What motivates me with what I truly desire out of life?
Now that you’ve answered these questions, I’m sure that you are well on your way to understanding your true purpose in life. I know from experience the more you think about this, the more defining your purpose of life will become. As each one of us grows through this life journey we become what we consistently contemplate and think about.
If we live in fear (negative thoughts) of something long enough, then eventually we will draw this to us, and it will be manifested in our lives.
If we believe and have never ending faith in something and stay persistent with and mold our thoughts to a specific purpose in this life experience, then the rewards manifested will be limitless. The next few questions below are going to take you a little bit of time to complete. If you don’t feel that you can answer these questions completely at this time then relax. Take a day or two to think this through. Remember, as you evolve your purpose may shift or mold and take different avenues. This may be a better position in your career or a completely different career. In many people that begin to experience this greater awareness of life’s purpose there is suddenly change that comes in many forms. Maybe they pick up their roots and travel to other lands or begin a new business adventure that allows them to wake up each morning and live their life purpose. In any direction that you decide to venture and accept as your life purpose, be prepared to experience more enjoyment and enthusiasm than ever before. You can trust yourself that by doing this you will grow in more ways then you could ever imagine.

Unlocking Your Productivity

2011-08-24T10:39:00.001-07:00

People think that certain problems have to be solved without spending any money; often, if the solution is important enough, it is a good idea to spend money on it. Another thinking trap people fall into is thinking they have to solve the whole problem; sometimes, solving just one part of the problem is enough for the time.

A final thinking trap is thinking that it is your problem and you are the one who must solve it; often, it is someone else’s problem, and the very best thing for you to do is to turn over to the person and refuse to get involved.

The second quality of genius is the ability to concentrate single-mindedly on one thing at a time, on one problem at a time. And to stay with it until it is solved. Highly creative people practice on focusing on single questions and single problems, while uncreative people diffuse their mental energies by trying to do several things at once. They work on this and work on that. They pick something up and put it down. Then they go on to something else and come back. Often, they are scatterbrained, and if they do come up with ideas, their ideas are shallow and poorly thought-out.

The difference between diffusion and concentration in creativity is the difference between gentle sunlight and sunlight concentrated through a magnifying glass. It is the difference between light and a laser beam. It is the difference between a small flame and a welding torch. Your job, in increasing your creativity and enhancing your intelligence, is to concentrate your powers where they can do the most good.

The third quality of genius is the ability to approach problems (challenges) systematically. People who throw themselves at their problems often become frantic and confused. They take a haphazard approach to thinking, and then they are amazed when they find themselves floundering and making no progress.
Take a stand to be productive!

Maximize Your Time!

2011-08-01T07:12:00.001-07:00

Making the most of time requires a commitment from you to work at scheduled times on large tasks. Most of the important works you do require schedule time to complete. Your ability to create and carve out these blocks of high value, highly productive time, is central to your ability to make a significant contribution to your work and to your life.
Thoughtfulness may be defined as a careful concern for the secondary consequences of each decision and each action. This is the essence of strategic thinking.

FIND TIME FOR THE BIGGEST TASK
Successful people set aside a specific time and period each day to phone prospects. Rather than procrastinating or delaying on a task that they don’t particularly like, they resolve that will make calls for one solid hour between 10 and 11 AM and they then discipline themselves to follow through on their resolutions. Many business executives set aside a specific time each day to call customers directly to get feedbacks. Decide to focus on your most important task until completion, ignoring every distraction.

CREATE EXACT TIME
While some people allocate specific 30-60 minutes time each day for exercise, other people read great books 15 minutes each night before retiring. This way, over time, they eventually read dozens of the best books ever written. The key to the success of this method of working within specific time segments is for you to plan your day in advance and specifically schedule a fixed time for a particular activity or task. This single action can change your life forever. You make your appointments with yourself and then discipline yourself to keep them. You set-aside thirty, sixty, and ninety-minute time segments that you use to work on and complete important tasks.

CREATE PRE-PLANNED PERIODS
Loads of highly productive people schedule specific activities in pre-planned time slots all day long. These people build their work lives around accomplishing key tasks one at a time. As a result, they become more and more productive and eventually produce two times, three and five times as much as the average person.

stephen u. njoku

Do You Have A Mind That Never Rests?

2011-01-14T07:31:00.000-08:00

If you have difficulty sleeping at night, finishing what you’ve started, and trouble making decisions, then it’s time to understand why having a quiet mind brings peace and is the foundation for a good life.
Without down time, the mind never rests. Everything needs rest!
Never mistake a busy life for a life of substance.
Just because something is moving all the time does not mean that it is going anywhere.
If you nail one foot down to the floor and you keep moving, you are still going in circles.
A frantic mind misses opportunities and actually pushes them away.
When your mind is frantic, your vibration is chaotic. And a chaotic mind always repels good opportunities.
Opportunities actually go whizzing by frantic minds.
Everything is universe – in order to be healthy, needs to rest as well as to move, i.e., times to be active and times to do nothing but rest in being. The mind needs down time.
It is the nature of the mind to have thoughts.
To the mind, all thoughts are the same.
Our ego ranks our thoughts. The thoughts that make us feel good about ourselves we pull to us and the thoughts that make us feel bad, we push away. This action creates a frantic mind.
Even though we rank our thoughts, to the mind all thoughts are the same – one thought is not better than another, just like all spots on a leopard are the same to that leopard, even though some are big and some are small.
Truth comes through the mind, not from the mind.
Once we view our thoughts from the observer viewpoint - not the ego – then all thoughts become equal, the same way they exist in the mind.
In order to access truth, the mind must be quiet.
The mind is the vehicle that transports consciousness.
Meditation quiets the mind and opens the heart.
Only when the mind is quiet do we gain access to additional information we could not hear when the mind was frantic.
Meditation leads us back home - to that quiet place inside.
Peace comes from a quiet mind and an open heart.

Quotes

2011-01-12T04:58:00.001-08:00

Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people."
Zig Ziglar

"Be conscious of your attitude. Work extra hard at keeping your attitude positive in all kinds of weather, through all the challenges of life."
Catherine Pulsifer, from All Is Going Well?

"Positive anything is better than negative nothing."
Elbert Hubbard

"Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something,
perhaps when you are least expecting it.
I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something
sitting down."
Charles F. Kettering

"Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done."
Bo Bennett

"A 'positive attitude' is definitely one of the keys to success.
My definition of a positive attitude is a simple one:
Looking for the good in all circumstances.
Catherine Pulsifer

"Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure."
Norman Vincent Peale

"Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own."
Chinese Proverb

Having a positive attitude can help us to enjoy life to the fullest rather than just living a mediocre life. Reading some positive attitude tips may be able to help maintain a positive outlook amidst all the challenges that we all face.
Positive Attitude Tips

Seeds of evil thought

2011-01-11T04:59:00.001-08:00

A thought left to ramble in your mind will attach itself to an incident in your past. It will begin to feed on that incident and grow like a tick that attaches itself to your body while you walk through a forest. That thing isn’t a part of your body, but it begins by attaching itself to the body and then drains strength from it.

These evil thoughts impede progress and destroy morals. They are as dangerous as the act of sin itself. Thoughts are previews of coming attractions. That is why Jesus gave us some strong teachings about lust. He knew that if an evil thought is not aborted, if it is savored long enough, it will be acted upon!…

You must quickly cast down an evil thought. “Push the remote control” before it drains away your commitment to excellence and leaves you crying in the valley of regret. The real temptation to entertain thoughts is in the privacy of the mind. Who will know what you really think? You can smile at people and never disclose your innermost thoughts.

I always laugh when I see people act as though they have conquered the battle with the mind. I’ve asked people in my organization, “Which of you would be comfortable with having everything that comes to mind played on a television screen for all of your friends to watch? Or which of you would like to have all our thoughts through the week played over the loudspeaker at church next Sunday or on national TV?” I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, they all put their hands down. Our mind is a private battleground that can easily become a secret place for contamination, lust, fear, low self-esteem, and God only knows what else!
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Sins Against Relationships

2011-01-11T04:53:00.000-08:00

Relationship: a determinant factor is pretty much a selling job. Whether we succeed or fail is largely a matter of how well we motivate the human beings with whom we deal to buy us and what we have to offer.

Success or failure in life is essentially a matter of human relationships. It is a matter of the kind of reaction to us by our family members, customers, employees, employers, and fellow workers and associates. If this reaction is favorable we are quite likely to succeed. If the reaction is unfavorable we are doomed.

The deadly sin in our relationship with people is that we take them for granted. We do not make an active or continuous effort to do and say things that will make them like us or have favorable reaction toward us, and believe us, and that will create in them the desire to work with us in the attainment of our desires and purposes.

Again and again, we see both individuals and organizations perform only to a small degree of their potential success, or fail entirely, simply because of their neglect of the human element in business and life.
They take people and their actions for granted. Yet it is these people and their responses that make or break them.
Start today, change the way you treat people. Value them and care more about them than you do to machines and money.

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The Only Five Tips You Will Ever Need

2011-01-11T04:02:00.001-08:00

In other words, if you had five guaranteed tips that work no matter what the situation, these would be them. Remember, understanding these points intellectually, and not integrating them on a feeling and action level, always misses the mark.
Take FULL responsibility for your life – Don’t blame others!
Bottom line – If it happened to you, it belongs to you.
You do not need to know why something happened. Most things in life do not happen in a linear way anyway.
Staying in a victim mentality, even when you can trace your misfortune directly to another person, robs you of your power to create a good life going forward.
You create your world by what you “think” and “feel” and “do.”
Our power comes in three parts – what you think, how you feel and what you ultimately do – thoughts, feelings actions.
Actions have more power than feelings and feelings have more power than thought.
When you infuse your action with positive thoughts and heartfelt feeling, you enter the process of creation.
Don’t whine or complain to gain consensus for your point of view – Step up and change what doesn’t work.
Nothing is more unattractive than whining and complaining.
You can always find someone to agree with your point of view. When you realize that is what you are doing, you need to stop.
Stepping-up gives you dignity and self-esteem.
Ask for help if you need it – Being able to receive is as important as giving.
Asking for help takes great courage.
No one can see his/her own issues – that’s why they are called issues.
Do let your ego keep you from getting good help.
Be vulnerable – You can’t love if you are closed.
Being vulnerable means you are open to it all – the good as well as the bad. That’s why many of us close our hearts – we are afraid of being hurt.
But you only have one heart. And if you close it to hurt, you also close it to love.
When you know how to take care of yourself, you are comfortable having an open heart.
The Only Five Tips You Will Ever Need

In other words, if you had five guaranteed tips that work no matter what the situation, these would be them. Remember, understanding these points intellectually, and not integrating them on a feeling and action level, always misses the mark.
Take FULL responsibility for your life – Don’t blame others!
Bottom line – If it happened to you, it belongs to you.
You do not need to know why something happened. Most things in life do not happen in a linear way anyway.
Staying in a victim mentality, even when you can trace your misfortune directly to another person, robs you of your power to create a good life going forward.
You create your world by what you “think” and “feel” and “do.”
Our power comes in three parts – what you think, how you feel and what you ultimately do – thoughts, feelings actions.
Actions have more power than feelings and feelings have more power than thought.
When you infuse your action with positive thoughts and heartfelt feeling, you enter the process of creation.
Don’t whine or complain to gain consensus for your point of view – Step up and change what doesn’t work.
Nothing is more unattractive than whining and complaining.
You can always find someone to agree with your point of view. When you realize that is what you are doing, you need to stop.
Stepping-up gives you dignity and self-esteem.
Ask for help if you need it – Being able to receive is as important as giving.
Asking for help takes great courage.
No one can see his/her own issues – that’s why they are called issues.
Do let your ego keep you from getting good help.
Be vulnerable – You can’t love if you are closed.
Being vulnerable means you are open to it all – the good as well as the bad. That’s why many of us close our hearts – we are afraid of being hurt.
But you only have one heart. And if you close it to hurt, you also close it to love.
When you know how to take care of yourself, you are comfortable having an open heart.

What You're Afraid Of Sets You Free

2011-01-11T03:52:00.001-08:00

Our natural reaction to fear is to recoil, to run in the other direction; as a result, we become more and more fearful. When you run from what scares you, you automatically give energy to that feeling and that feeling grows.
Now running from a bear is an innate reaction, our built-in fight or flight mechanism, but it does not serve us well when we deal with our fears. Remember, what you run from runs after you, and if you are not brave enough to stop running and start dealing with the feelings, you will be running your whole life.
Everyone has things they are afraid of - no one is immune. Whether you have a panic disorder, have cancer, can't find work or are afraid to be alone - if you run from these feelings they will proliferate; they will become stronger.
Running from what scares you makes you powerless; you instantly become a victim. In that victimized state you are immobilized, under the illusion that there is nothing you can do. But the truth is - you can do anything that you want to do. You can take you power back in a moment simply by shifting your attitude.
The attitude shift is one of surrender. It is yielding rather than static and lends itself to letting go rather than holding on. When you surrender to "what is" you feel the feeling and head in a new direction regardless. You take back your power and refuse to let your immediate "feeling" dictate that is good or bad for you. You take charge, you step up, and you create the world you want to live in. The moment you face and feel your fears, you disarm them. The instant you say, "Come on, bring it on", they begin to diminish and slowly dissipate.
Remember, joy happens only in the moment. Giving into your fears creates anticipation and that is always about remembering the past and dreading the future - it is never present oriented. Fear keeps us disconnected from our joy - from the pipeline of spirit.
Embrace your life, regardless of how it manifests. It is yours, your way in this lifetime to learn the lessons you need to learn. It is neither good nor bad, simply "what is".
This is the knowledge that unlocks the secrets of the universe.

The Law of The Garbage Truck

2011-01-11T03:47:00.001-08:00

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.. I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, ‘Hey, why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’ This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call: The Law of the Garbage Truck.

He said: “You know, many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage – frustration, anger, disappointment and sadness. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it, so sometimes they’ll dump it on you.”

His advice? “Don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t pick up the garbage others are trying to get rid of. If you do, you’ll take it with you and will end up dumping it on people around you, at work, at home, or on the streets.”

If you want to be happy, do not let garbage trucks – your own or other people’s – overtake your day. Let go of anything that’s not positive. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Love the people who treat you right. Ignore the ones who don’t.
Kindness is more than deeds. It is an attitude, an expression, a look, a touch. It is anything that lifts another person.

The generous will prosper and are satisfied, Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. – Proverbs 11:25

The Do-Over.

2011-01-11T03:23:00.001-08:00

Have you often said something cruel and hurtful to your partner that you wished you could take back, but instead of correcting it you just hoped it would go away on its own? If regretting your behavior is something that happens often, learn the healing art of the “Do Over”.
Everything can be re-visited and nothing is set in stone.
You need to immediately correct something hurtful.
Whoever told us that once something is said, it is forever? Not true. It is only forever if you don't correct it.
If you have not been clear, or if you have said something you want to change, now is the time for a re-do.
Bad behavior, unless corrected, has bad consequences. It does not just go away.
If you do not want the consequences of what you have said or done, now is the time to correct the behavior.
It takes two seconds to correct bad behavior.
Take the time or else the consequences will linger.
A “Do Over” means you care enough to re-connect with your partner.
Be vulnerable. Do it first.
If you wait for the other person to do it first, you always lose.
The emphasis needs to be on the connection and not on who is right.
A “Do Over” means you take responsibility for your behavior.
No defending your position.
Be honest. Do you regret your behavior? If you could do it differently, would you?
Have you alienated your partner rather than bring him closer?
A “Do Over” means you care more about feeling right than being right.
What is the point of being right if you do not have that connection?
Real love is about putting your ego aside.
This is an opportunity to do it fresh and clean.

Integrating The Dark Side, Becoming Whole

2011-01-11T02:31:00.001-08:00

Suffering is an integral part of the human experience; there is no way to be born in human form and not experience suffering. But is there an end to this misery? Can you, through becoming more conscious, eliminate suffering from your life? The answer is yes, but the process takes some bravery and is not for the weak at heart.
We suffer because we do not know our true nature; we think we are the body. The minute you identify with the body there is this innate sense of separateness, a disconnect from the spirit that makes you feel isolated and alone. Feeling separate is the work of the ego and in order for the ego to survive, the separateness must continue.
Separateness grows through comparison, competitiveness, feeling higher or lower in regard to someone else; it is never free-standing. If you feel "happier" because you are richer, more beautiful, or smarter than someone else, you are going to suffer. Remember everything that goes up must come down - there is always someone richer, more beautiful. Identifying with the outer covering rather than the inner core is what causes all suffering.
Being able to connect to the Source, i.e., the energy that is the same in us all, is a lifetime job and one that always demands awareness; a willingness to BE in the present moment. But that is not possible as long as the inner critic is in charge. As long as you are judging yourself, hiding your vulnerabilities to protect your image and feel ashamed of your 'failures," you will never be free.
The beginning of a conscious life is the willingness to integrate the dark side with the light. This is an actual step on the physical plane, that when you make, will CHANGE your consciousness immediately. The moment you ACCEPT your life - without judgement - the good, the bad, the ugly - is the moment suffering lessens.
Many people think the best way to live is to keep the ugly parts of life hidden, buried - why bring them up if they are painful? But your life is already painful and the reason is because these buried feelings are presently wrecking havoc whether or not you have consciously acknowledged them. Bringing to light what is in darkness instantaneously switches the energy; rather than running, we stay and look and are brave enough to feel what we have so long been avoiding.
The more you are willing to feel what scares you, the more whole you become. Incongruence is always the result of splitting your Self in two; embracing the light and rejecting the dark.
Wholeness means integration and integration automatically brings authenticity. The paradigm of being perfect needs to be changed with being an original holding more clout than being "perfect."  Perfection then is simply to be who we are, an amalgam of high and low, good and bad, rich and poor, loved and unloved, awake and asleep, with the WHOLE being greater than the sum of its parts.
Rejoicing in your uniqueness is what allows you to accept it all. The darkest moments then become doorways to clarity, opportunities to step in and reclaim your life - all of it!

The Dynamics of Love

2011-01-11T01:59:00.000-08:00

I promise a friend that I will post about falling in and out of love this week, according to her it’s what she needs right now. It’s Christmas and as the song goes, “Give love on Christmas day… no greater gift is there than love…” If you’re hoping for a very special love this season, the Bible says that “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
I have love you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness. – Jeremiah 31:3
I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion.
I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord. – Hosea 2:19-20
The followi All Bible verses inserted were taken from the New International Version.
On Love
It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some loves grow and it is a mystery why some loves fail. You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes but you will never do any more than take the life out of the experience.
Love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its time, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its way.
Too often, when love comes to people, they try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift freely given and a gift that just as freely moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was.
They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong with them or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small things were different love would bloom again. They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways they live in a sea of misery.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. – Isaiah 43:18
For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter,
though a man’s misery weighs heavily upon him. – Ecclesiastes 8:6
You need to treat what love brings you with kindness.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to rest in the other person’s heart.
Do not arouse or awaken love, until it so desires. – Song of Songs 2:7
If you find someone else in love with you toward whom you feel no love, feel honored that love come and called at your door, but gently refused the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how love will deal with you, and all our hearts fell the same pain and joys, even if our lives and ways are very different.
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love,
it would utterly be scorned. – Song of Songs 7:6-7
If you fall in love with another who falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time, but time itself will choose the moment.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. – Ecclesiastes 3:11
Remember this and keep it in your heart. You don’t choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it to you. Give it to others who seem poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.
In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first love us. – 1 John 4:16-19
Love has its own time, its own season, and its own reasons for coming and going. You cannot bride it or coerce it or reason it into staying. If it chooses to leave, from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and nothing you should do. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life, if you keep your heart open, it will surely come again.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time

Loving Your Self First

2011-01-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

We have all heard the saying, “Before you can love anyone else, you need to love yourself first”. But what does “loving yourself first” really mean? How do you put into practice every day the art of loving yourself?
Loving yourself is the same as taking care of your Self.
Take care of yourself the way you take care of others.
Most of us are not very good at taking care of ourselves and do a much better job at taking care of others.
When you love your Self you look out for your Self. You open to new experiences but you are also protective, and make sure the people and experiences in your life are good for you.
Give yourself generosity of spirit.,
You are not here to be perfect but to partake in the human adventure.
You cannot travel this path without making mistakes. There is nothing mistake-free about this human experience.
Mistakes show us the right way for us. Each mistake says, “Not this, not this”. We learn by knowing where not to go.
3. Listen to your inner voice by quieting your mind.
You can ONLY hear your inner voice – the voice that has your best interests at heart – when your mind is quiet.
The inner voice has a direct connection with the heart.
When the mind is quiet, the heart opens.
4. Accept your past – You did the best you could at the time.
Do not regret the past but learn from it. Sure, we may not do the same dumb stuff again, but now we know better.
Remember, you do not have to know why something happened for you to accept responsibility for all of your life at this moment.
If it happened to you, it belongs to you.
5. Examine your thoughts, feelings and actions; they create your world.
Take responsibility for what you think and feel.
Know that you have a choice of what you want to think about. You do not have to think about every thought that enters your mind.
Even if you think and feel in a dysfunctional way but take right action, you will begin to change your course.

A Good Mind = A Good Life

2011-01-10T05:31:00.003-08:00

There is nothing more important than having a quiet mind. It does not matter how much money you make, how great a relationship you have, or what kind of work you do - if you do not have a good mind, you will not have a good life.
Having a quiet mind is no easy task. Most of us have bought into the idea that having a busy life is the same as having a life of substance, but nothing could be further from the truth. Everything needs rest and when you fill your life to overflowing, never allowing for down-time, you pay the consequences.
The main consequence of a non-stop life is a frantic mind.
A frantic mind never stops; it tortures us. It flits from one thought to another, never choosing where to go but simply being held hostage to whatever thought pops into the mind. Without ever having developed the ability to step back and OBSERVE our thoughts, we think we are our thoughts. And by identifying with our thoughts (being attached to them), we cannot decide which ones we want to think about and which ones we want to let go.
It is important to understand that the nature of the mind is to have thoughts - one thought having the same value as the next to the mind. Just like to a leopard all his spots are the same, to the mind, all thoughts are equal.
Actually putting some time aside every day to quiet the mind is the first step. We have created the busy life we have precisely because we do not want to stop. We inherently know that stopping will require us to "feel' our life and that is exactly what we have been avoiding. A frantic mind keeps the feelings at bay, and keeps us anesthetized. It is the excuse we need to avoid dealing with our feelings. "I'm so busy, I don't have time to deal with this now," is what we tell ourselves.
But the moment we decide to take a time-out, something different begins to happen. Whether meditating or simply sitting still and being aware of our thoughts, a gap begins to occur between the thought and you, and that slight gap allows you to observe rather than get sucked-in. The act of observation instantly slows the mind and we begin to feel some sense of peace.
Now is the time to ask yourself if you have a good mind. If the answer is no, start setting aside some time during the day to do nothing, think nothing. Give yourself permission to feel your life, rather than than about it. Get used to observing your thoughts rather than chasing them, and enjoy the connection to your spirit, the one that comes from a quiet mind.