According to Jack

My favorite confessions from patients

2013-01-20T23:39:00.000-08:00

I won't be posting any revealing info about any of my patients, for obvious reasons. While being a psychiatrist can be extremely boring much of the time, others it can be like a roller coaster in your favorite museum. These are not in any order, I'll add to this list whenever applicable or whenever I have the time.

"One time I won a date with Chelsea Clinton from a raffle that this company I worked for was holding.
Long story short, I found out that she is David Duke and also Jesse Jackson (yes, she is freakishly talented and has the best makeup team ever.)
This has been the cause of my alcoholism."

"I know that I love torturing babies, but it is something which I don't even know if I do or not - I got into 'astral projection' and now I have trouble telling whats a dream and whats not."
Pro-Life tip from me: Don't get into astral projection unless you're prepared to possibly not know what is real and what isn't. I once had a different patient threaten me with a double barrel shotgun because she wanted to know that badly if she was experiencing reality or not.

"I've gone on a 'fly only' diet just to see how it would feel, and wondered if my shit or piss would smell any different. I feel good."

I'm bored and depressed, what should I do?

2013-01-20T21:10:00.002-08:00

There are many things you can do to brighten up your day. This article won't help with severe or long term depression.

Don't use the hand you would normally use to do everything.

This will create a nice, mild challenge for you, it helps to break the usual grind. It will also help to create and open up new pathways in the brain. If you're right handed then brush your teeth with your left hand, and use that same hand to drink, fap, or floss your teeth. Try and become a better writer with the wrong hand.

Read some literature that you wouldn't normally read, or watch something on TV you normally wouldn't watch.

Even if you think magazines about gardening or cars sounds mind numbing boring, read some articles in these magazines anyways. Breaking a routine is breaking a routine, and if you're still entirely sure that something bores you at least you'll know that you gave it the full effort.

If you think cooking is tedious and boring and you seldom cook, find a recipe that's fun and out of the ordinary.

Have you ever watched some 'reality' TV show like Honey Boo Boo and thought I could never eat such a thing, that's disgusting? Well consider whatever they were eating and plan on making it yourself, but leave the 'disgusting' out of it. Make it healthy, or make it so ridiculously spicy that you and your friends can have a contest with it.

Call up a friend who you don't like much anymore, and plan on breaking up with them. Step further out of your comfort zone than you would ever dream of.

It takes some mental strength and courage to be mean, not that you should do it. But if you want to head further down the path of self discovery, something that isn't easy or morally questionable should be considered.

Consider doing something kind of bad for the kicks, but nothing that's too illegal. Load up a shopping cart full of groceries, leave it in the middle of an isle and just walk out. Does something like that sound like a waste of time? It isn't if you find it challenging enough and want to feel more alive.

Again, it takes strength to do mean, risky things - not that you should. The fictional Jesus who we all know of was a very strong man but he wouldn't even hurt a fly (so he could be vulnerable if Seth Brundle was pissed off at him.) There are different kinds of strengths, and different criteria for what makes a person strong. This varies from culture to culture. One time about five years ago I was sitting on a street corner with a sign explaining that I was hungry, broke, and homeless, and this big burly, tattoo'd man who appeared to be around 30 years of age walked up to me with a five dollar bill, giving me some hope. He then spit in my eyes and some bystanders even laughed. (I can almost feel the burning from the tobacco in his spit thinking about it!)

Find some comedy.

Laughter is the best medicine! This would be the easiest thing on the list, yet it could also be the most effective. When was the last time that you laughed? Go online and search for the kinds of things that made you laugh your ass off. If you're unsure of what to search for to make yourself laugh, ask friends or go on different forums for suggestions. This is one of my favorite subs on Reddit.

Would you ever keep track of how often you laugh by keeping a log of it? Well, you might end up knowing yourself better if you did such a thing but it might take some fun out of it too. This is something I've never tried.

Depression FAQ

I've tried all of these non medical things you suggest but I'm still battling depression. Should I take meds? Which ones?

I won't suggest any medications on this blog. You need to find a doctor in real life, I won't give any true medical advice online. I only have suggestions for people who aren't my patients, and I recommend seeing a psychiatrist if you've got ongoing depression.

I'm planning on hurting myself if I don't get the love, respect, and attention that I deserve. What do you plan on doing about it?

If you were one of my patients, I'd have you committed right away. Other than that, most people pretend to care more than what they actually do. There have been people "threatening" to kill themselves by saying how they're going to do it, with hopes that people will bend over backwards to stop them. Your family probably cares about you, and your friends would probably hate to see you die too, but it has hardly ever hurt my day on the occasion that I hear about someone killing themselves. This is even true of most of my patients; I've worried that I could have done something to prevent a patient's suicide, but I wasn't personally attached to them. One time a patient saw me off work, crossing the street downtown. He said he was going to jump off of the nearest bridge. I said to him, go for it. He was like WTF!

Happy belated birthday to this blog

2012-08-29T16:37:00.003-07:00

This blog has been around for over two years now, and I was 75 when I first started it. I am now 77. My financial struggles continue, but I don't take it as seriously as I used to. When you really start to get up there, age-wise, you can become more irritable but you can let go of things which once bothered you a lot. A night on the streets with my family isn't necessarily a depressing thing anymore. I've had some emotional problems here and there, but when I wake up in the morning a diaper full of shit doesn't piss me off like it once did. (I don't mean to be gross but these kinds of health problems can happen if you're well into your senior years!)

Its been quite a while since I've posted on this blog. I'm looking forward to the November 6th election, with the hope that Romney will win even though I think Obama will. People who don't vote, are like people who give up. I make sure to vote in every election, even though I might easily be dead by the end of this next presidential term. I've become more interested in current events and I've even been involved in charitable works such as working at the local homeless shelter once a week or so (despite my own status as a hobo!) I'll often times hang out at bars and order a glass of water to look like a customer (but its still loitering.) I've been kicked out a couple of times before, but they were really nice about it ("I'm sorry, but you can only be here if you're going to drink, or gamble"). I always used to dream of retiring with enough money to support myself, but the chances of that are mostly gone.

To sum it up I work less than I did when I first started this blog, mainly because of reputation problems and a smaller part of it is that I'm only getting older. I'm less driven, and less goal oriented, but I'm also calmer and happier. My vocabulary has gotten a little smaller too- I've read some past publications and I needed to have a dictionary at hand. The new onset of indifference has helped reduce symptoms of depression. I'm less interested in seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist at this point; I just want to be my own man. If I could afford a better computer or a web cam, I'd put up a photo of myself right now- I've let my hair grow long, I have put on some weight, and I have a goatee. All of this is by choice- It didn't cost me much at all when I was clean cut.

Peace.

'Extreme' metal: Pretty lame

2012-04-30T08:31:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that the purpose of death metal, grindcore, and black metal is most often to sound as diabolical, scary, and heavy as possible. Because of this realization I think its mostly a failure. When it comes to the heaviness of riffs, the speed of the drums, and the deep voice which sounds like its from a monster movie, its overkill. Many of these artists are afraid to have some slow songs, some songs which aren't as 'dark' as the others, or a comprehensible singing voice because they think they would be 'sell outs'. Darkthrone has an album which I like quite a bit: A blaze in the northern sky. I'm an atheist who thinks that Satanism is too corny because for one thing Satan does not exist. (There's no "proof" he's not real but he's about as credible as Santa Claus or the tooth fairy.) Another thing is that the lyrics are so narrowly focused on "Satan", so called dark spirituality, etc. That being said I love that Darkthrone album because the music is top of the line and original. Other than Transilvanian Hunger, Darkthrone's albums tend to be "pretty good" at best. As much as I've spoken out against overly repetitive music, that one has also been quite successful in my world.

This blog posts content is most likely influenced by the fact that I've been taking my Clozaril regularly. In a previous blog post or two I've espoused Satanism and at the time I was off medications for a while. Not that I regret any of that- Life is a journey.

Napalm death has put out good music but I think they're horribly overrated. I liked Deicide back in the 1990's, their music was consistently good. Despite being so "Satanic" they managed to come off as genuinely creepy and evil. Dying Fetus is another band which is too stereotypical of a death metal band at times but Raped on the alter and a few others are some of my favorite songs in metal. As would be expected, I feel the same way about Cannibal Corpse. One of the only flawless 'extreme metal' albums I know of is Prowler in the yard by Pig Destroyer. This is probably the only grindcore masterpiece that there is (they don't sound like they're trying to hard). It sounds authentically angry and malevolent; singer JR Hayes isn't trying to sound like some creature on a game like Doom and he's an excellent poet. On prowler, there is a surprising amount of variation between songs for a grindcore album which is a sub genre known for producing yawn inducing blast beats track after track. Sadly, Pig Destroyer gradually regressed into the typical, run of the mill grindcore band after their magnificent Prowler album.

'Extreme metal' needs to change for it to sound good again; the standard instruments used are no longer adequate because they would need to borrow riffs and other musical elements from previous work for a song to not bore you. The bands and albums mentioned in this post aren't the only metal bands I like.

Shocking body modifications

2012-04-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

After learning about

Dennis Avner, who is also known as "Cat Man" (but prefers his Native American name, Stalking Cat, it almost made me feel like a normal person. This guy holds the worlds record for having the most body modifications.

I take some special interest in him myself, since my wife is a canine and we have mixed species children. Man and beast have joined as a result of our love, sex, and matrimony and this guy has undergone extensive cosmetic surgery to look as if he's part feline. Cat man has been inspiring ever since I first found out about him. It would be ideal if I could get surgery to resemble a doberman, and if my wife Lisa got surgery done to have some human features.

Legally, my wife and Lisa are not married but she is my pet (So, if she mauled someone apart I could face liabilities as a pet owner.) But she wouldn't have to consent to getting cosmetic surgery done. I'm well into my 70s so it could be especially unhealthy for me to go under the knife for such an operation. However I'll add it to my wish list, which I'd need to raise money for since I can't even afford to have a roof over us on some nights. As I expected, cosmetic surgery for pets is available.

Maria Jose Cristerna, also known as the "Mexican Vampire Woman", is another freak who got a ton of body modifications done. She did this to express herself since she almost died in a violent home as a child.

Emotional and physical abuse fucks people up.

She is a freak but she's quite sexy. I'd let her eat a few of my kids just to do her.

Occupy Yahoo Answers

2012-04-15T22:56:00.003-07:00

Occupy Wall Street took off as a successful movement in 2011. Lets let internet protests pave their way for more satisfied users and minimal complaints about the service for a given website. Its good that online protests are part of what prevented SOPA and PIPA!

A good example would be Yahoo Answers, a popular site which isn't very reliable for what its purpose is- "to provide quality questions and answers"

One of my associates helped make this video, he is the speaker. His name is Joey, formerly known as 'Retard Supremacist' and 'Baby Torturer' on Yahoo Answers. He often times also used his real first name as a username on there. He hasn't been on that site in over a year so you probably wouldn't remember him. He is the only retarded man I know who owns a blog. Do you know any mentally retarded bloggers? Many people were in doubt about a retarded man owning a blog. If someone's mental age is between 9 and 12, what makes you think they wouldn't be savvy enough to run a blog? Someone that age may be vulnerable but it doesn't take a very smart person to use the internet.

Punked

2012-02-12T23:52:00.000-08:00

The occult: Dark and mysterious?

I don't think so. Weeks ago, I was contacted by a local man who claimed to know black magic. I paid him a total sum of $3500 to be 20 years younger. He said the trade off would be that 5 newborn babies in the village I live in would end up having progeria, a very rare but tragic illness where the aging process is about seven times faster than normal. I figured that the trade off was worth it, only, there won't be a trade off because this was a scam. I believe the entire occult is just a greedy industry to scam people.

This guy went by the name 'Roy' (I made him show me his driver's license of course, the first name was Roy, but this must have been fake.) We went through this process of him "proving" to me that the occult is real. A man (obviously part of the scam) claimed to have wanted breasts, his shirt was taken off and they looked and felt totally real. He had no other secondary sex characteristics, there was no chest hair, it looked totally female. I did a background check for his medical records, there was no record of getting any surgery either. Roy and his sidekick who's name was supposedly Brian are much more like Houdini than the sorcerers you see in movies because Brian's "breasts" were not real. It was just part of the greedy scheme to scam me. I'm a poor old doctor who can't afford to retire, let alone feed his family without assistance and this is how I'm treated.

Suicide: Dark and mysterious?

I've always informed many of my patients that suicide is a dark and mysterious rite of passage into the unknown, and a viable option to end the chronic pain. I would tell them that God is most likely waiting for them even though I don't believe this personally. Since I don't even have a pot to piss in, maybe I'll consider the notion that the very last chapter of one's life is what defines any possible existence after death. When the body dies, I don't know if the energy in it dies with it or if it goes anywhere.

I was punked out when least expected, this is what can happen to people with extreme financial problems who are desperate. I wouldn't mind killing Roy and Brian but they have both disappeared; I tried calling Roy's phone number which is no longer in service. I went to what was most likely his temporary office which is now an empty building.

I'm at the end of my rope. Do you have any spare change? Maybe my family should die with me. After all, is there any place in this world for mixed species kids?

Its too bad that you have to experience death to know or not know what happens when you die.

I wish that this experience of mine could be featured on the show American Greed, but I have no proof of anything.

How much money would you need to be paid to kill an innocent person?

2012-01-24T00:22:00.000-08:00

How much money would make you evil?

For most people, this is a hypothetical question because its very illegal to solicit murder, as well as take up such an offer. A lot of people would say something like "Not for any amount in the whole world because that is just evil."

Ask this question to yourself and try to come up with an answer. Obviously it would make a big difference if the person was 'guilty' (such as a person who is evil, or a general burden to society) or innocent.

There is an important episode of The Twilight Zone called "Button, Button" in which a couple descending into poverty are offered a box, with a button on it which would ensure the death of someone for $1 million. There is also a film which came out in 2009 called The Box which was also based on the same short story by Richard Matheson.

Stories like this really help you to question your own morality, and how easily you can be bought. Its not hard to know how easily you can do unpleasant things for money such as dressing up in drag or even promising to say "Fuck you" to everyone who greets you. But how easily can you be bought by evil?

There is a very old saying, "Money is the root of all evil." The validity of this statement is debatable (its quite a stretch isn't it!). Nonetheless, money could make anyone do plenty of undesirable deeds when the opportunity for it is there (the most common example would be staying at a job you hate.) For you, could the destruction of innocent human life be one of those things? How about your pet? Hmmm?

How to overcome the fear of death

2012-01-17T18:24:00.000-08:00

How to overcome the fear of death

Have you been fearing death lately, in any way? Whether it be the fear of your own death, the death of a loved one or people you admire?

The fear of death, which is less commonly known as thanatophobia, affects millions of people worldwide. So if you're fearful of death, know that you're not alone and you are not a freak. Thanatophobia is the fear of death, dead things, or anything associated with death. There is information in this article which can help you to overcome this fear. Remember that this is free information, and this is my third blog post which strives to better my reputation as a doctor.

Recommendations for overcoming the fear of death

Death is a cycle. You're not being singled out in any way, everyone goes through it. Some people experience death much sooner than others, while other people die when they are elderly (the more preferred stage of life to die.)

You won't be forgotten, unless you're a big loner who doesn't even have a family. Even if you were forgotten, you wouldn't care because your mind is probably just dead once you die (I am an atheist, I could debate the likelihood that god exists any time.) So if you believe in God or gods in any way, just go ahead and keep on believing in that because they will be there to meet you at the gates and you'll probably have a happy eternal life. Ignorance is bliss for some people.

Keep on living life to the fullest. If you don't, you better start doing your best because none of us get out alive. Regardless of your age, health, or other circumstances that might make your own death more sooner than later, try and have a positive outlook on life and work with what you have. Go out and make new friends, get new hobbies, do whatever possible to enrich the life you've got. Death is likely to happen to you when you're not necessarily expecting to die, and this is the way it should be. Wouldn't it be kind of like hell if people knew the exact date and time they would die?

Its not worth worrying about death until you need to.
Are you terminally ill? Do you have any loved ones who are probably going to die soon? Its worth giving a damn when death is likely, but until you know its likely why even give it a second thought. Anxiety can cause health problems, which could make your own death sooner.

Be an optimist.
Studies have shown that optimists are less likely to contract heart disease than pessimists. If you think badly of the future, you are more than likely to die sooner. So don't worry, and you'll live longer.

Dying can be very painful, but once you're dead there is no pain. Life is a great thing, however its arguable better to be dead than in chronic pain. This is what I've told all of my patients whom I've successfully put down.

If you are worried about somebody else dying, its okay to worry, but just remember that they are human just like you, and can adapt to changes and overcome situations. There have been people who were predicted to die because of a perceived terminal illness, but instead they were treated properly and lived much longer than expected. You could die sooner than the person who you were deeply worried about! So go out and have good times while you can.

Tips

Make your life as rich, enjoyable and fulfilling as possible. Go out and explore the unknown and don't be afraid to be bold- the most resentful people who are on their death beds were those who weren't themselves; People who did not have meaningful lives because they didn't go after their own dreams.

Think of the worst things that could happen to you or someone you love. Then tell yourself, "What are the odds of that?" or even "So what?". Some indifference could balance you out.

Remind yourself you are healthy and you have a whole life to live ahead of you. If you're old and vulnerable like me, well then telling yourself something like this would be a lie. Perhaps you could take up alcoholism instead, this has helped me out a lot in my old age.

Very important: Be completely honest with yourself and fully face the fact of your own mortality. Unless know of some mystical source of eternal life, it will eat away at you until you do. Life becomes much more valuable when its temporality is realized.

Warnings

Fear of death can be a sign of depression. However its better than having suicidal thinking, which is a sign of severe depression. (I also have an article about preventing suicide)

Contact a doctor (such as me) if the phobia becomes extremely overpowering, and you aren't able to carry out your daily routine. Doctors get paid quite a bit of money to pretend that they care about you, and most doctors do a good enough job at pretending that they care.

That's my two cents on overcoming death. Consider being my patient, because I could use more business. If you don't need me or want to have me as a doctor, I would like a donation from you because I put effort into writing these articles which go outside of the scope of my profession.

Since I just wrote three posts in a row which weren't about me, I'll have to reward myself by blogging about me next time since I love talking about my life, family, personal viewpoints, and whatever is on my mind. I've had colleagues, patients, and other people urge me to keep my personal life and professional life separate but I prefer to be myself even in professional situations.

How to deal with depression without seeking professional help

2012-01-14T19:02:00.001-08:00

To further my efforts to be a more ethical doctor rather than persisting as the greedy salesman doctor who only cared about money and food, here is another blog post of free information for dealing with mental health problems. As I stated in the last blog post, Warning signs of suicide, severe depression / suicidal thinking has always been one of my favorite medical problems to treat. This will be my second blog post in a row where I keep things helpful and down to business, rather than talking so much about me and my personal life. Yay!

Cope with depression without seeking medical help

If you are mildly or moderately depressed, or know someone who is depressed I recommend reading this list closely, and take this advice before seeing a physician such as myself.

Depression is the most common mental health problem which effects people from all different walks of life. It is one of those conditions which only takes a half a brain to know that it definitely doesn't mean you're crazy, although too often it is seen as something which only weak minded people succumb to which is not true. This is a basic guide to dealing with cases of depression which are not severe. If you have doubt about your own situation, see a doctor (I recommend myself, my rates are flexible and I love helping people.)

Steps

Do something for others: This will build self esteem and create gratitude in others. Make sure that you start small, you wouldn't want to get taken advantage of and make yourself feel worse.

Use positive affirmations: Repeat positive statements about yourself, such as: "I can do it. I'm quite alright. Everything is getting better, the right things will fall into place." Find other things like that to tell yourself(no need to boast to other people quite yet).

Replace negative thoughts with positive ones - Kill the ANTs: Instantly when an Automatic Negative Thought or feeling appears change your conscious mind: you can only think about one thing at a time, so stop negative thoughts by filling up with positive ones. You can take baby steps with this - don't expect to have excellent thoughts the day after reading this article.

Talk to your closest friends, if you even have any. The first step and step is to let people you care about know how you're feeling. By doing this, you are taking some control, building esteem and growing a support base. When doing this, tell only some people you can definitely trust. Preferably it should be a friend or family member who hasn't ever said or done anything cruel to you, since a person like this might strike again.

If you don't have any friends, come up with some nice imaginary friends to talk to. They might boring but at least you can easy trust them.

Talk to a counselor or doctor at least once (like me). Nobody (unless an extreme condition resides) will have you put in the loony bin at the first mention of being depressed. Medication or further counseling would probably be suggested, but the decision to take these recommendations are always yours and they could not obligate you to do so unless there is something really serious going on such as blatant self harm. This is another example of taking control of your own life and thereby reducing depression.

Get a new hobby. New, fun and interesting things such as a hobby increases your motivation, gives you a diversion and helps with concentration. Remember that a hobby can be social, and if its active, can help you sleep. Being social in and of itself is activity so positive interaction throughout the day can help prepare your mind better for sleep at night. Insomnia is something which makes a lot of people feel bad about themselves.

Write down your feelings. Put some alone time aside to try to understand yourself a little more. Don't be afraid of honesty as people who lie to themselves do have to wait longer for to achieve their goals. If you have privacy concerns, write and then suitably destroy the writings. Another thing you could do is write in a coded language which you could easily remember and understand so that if your writings were found, they may not give insight to the person who is snooping. Understand that depression can be a very solitary illness, and so understanding yourself can make you more at ease with yourself. Your reasons for being depressed can be quite different from someone else's.

Make black-and-white decisions. Don't procrastinate. You either will or won't get out of bed. You will or won't visit your friend's house. Don't think about it - do it! There's nothing to lose. Take control of yourself. When you allow yourself too many options for habits which are either good or bad, you're more likely to be lazy and not make the right decisions.

Make a list of 5 or more things you want to do with your life. Do your very best to work towards them. When you finish doing everything on your list, make another one. These can be any kinds of goals that you want.

Tips

Do watch your money. It is common for depressed people to go on spending sprees, which makes a lot of sense because they're often seeking instant gratification.

Enjoy your work. If you don't enjoy your work, talk to someone about how they enjoy it; The right suggestions on how to enjoy work vary from job to job as they also vary from person to person. If you feel you can't enjoy your work, find new work if possible (I know the economy is still a big factor).

Keep your 5 (or more) things to do with your life simple, achievable, and specific. Don't write "be a good person", write "have more patience with the elderly", or "ask [person you have a crush on] to go out on a date with you".

That is not a comprehensive guide to dealing with depression. As I said, it is a basic list which you should attempt before finding a therapist or a doctor. I should point out that finding a good therapist is not easy, since personal problems are more complicated than physical problems. In my opinion, therapy is just as much of an art as it is a science. One therapists skills might be good for some clients but certainly not all.

Warning signs of suicide

2012-01-13T18:24:00.000-08:00

I have been called unprofessional for talking so much about my personal life on this blog which is on my business card. I've had former colleagues tell me I'm 'despicable' for how I've handled a lot of my patients. This was before I went solo as a general purpose practitioner whom no other doctor would ever associate with due to reputation problems.

I have some compensation to do, so I'll get right down to business in this blog post and I'll try to avoid talking anymore about myself.

Warning signs of suicide

Preventing a friend or a loved one from committing suicide will likely take close observation and finding the right time to take drastic action can be tricky and emotionally hard on them as well as yourself. It would be ideal if you referred suicidal people to ME since this is one of my favorite medical problems to treat. I currently offer a referral based commission to people who refer suicidal patients to me. You would receive 25% of the medical bills paid to me for that patient. In other words, if you referred someone to me for a one hour evaluation, you may be eligible to receive $25 for that visit. Simply mention this blog post via phone, email, or an office visit if you're dropping this person off.

Get opinions from their family members and friends, depending on what your relationship with them is. How is this person just not being themselves? Do they seem abysmally depressed? Questions like these are important to ask yourself, and other people who know the person that you care for. Below are some warning signs for suicide.

Situational:

Recent loss of a loved one (death or divorce).

Survivor of a previous suicide attempt.

Loss of prestige (could be loss of job or business).

Serious illness (chronic pain or exhaustion with no end in sight).

Exhaustion of resources - could be real or imaginary (money or credit lines).

Family history of suicide.

A close friend commits suicide.

Behavioral:

Talking or writing about death and suicide. Other dark topics could be a sign as well.

Giving away personal possessions.

Changes in behavior or mood.

Freefalling grades or decline in work performance.

Ending close relationships.

Not smiling as much, crying a lot.

Flat or blunted affect.

Negative self talk.

Withdrawal, not participating in regular activities.

Buying weapons, pills, poisonous ingrediants, or objects such as a rope.

Reading a lot about suicide, or self harm such as cutting.

Extreme anger outbursts.

Someone you know might be severely depressed without you knowing this.

Emotional

Overwhelming sense of loss or personal failure.

General lack of interest in things they were once fond of.

Feelings of hopelessness, overwhelming sadness, or guilt.

Withdrawal/isolation.

Feelings of being a burden to others.

Great loss of self esteem.

There are certainly verbal signs of suicidal thinking which you need to watch out for as well. Some obvious ones include "No one cares about me or my life", "I have nothing left to live for", "They're better off without me.", etc. However there are some seemingly benign verbal statements which may indicate thoughts of suicide as well. Some examples are:

"It's too late now."

"There is nothing left to do."

"What's the use."

"I just want the pain to stop."

"Nobody gets me."

"You just don't understand!"

If you see many of the warning signs described in this article, you need to help this person. Connect with them more often than you previously did, subtly try and get more information as well. I don't recommend asking blunt questions like "Are you planning on killing yourself" unless you feel like an emergency has already begun. (just try and use good judgment) Go to their place of residence, and make note of things which seem out of the ordinary. Perhaps invade their privacy somewhat by looking inside of drawers when they are not around, if this is at all possible. Those of us who are fortunate to have privacy appreciate it, but when it comes to life and death you need to set the priorities straight. Often times it is good to stay with this person until they go to sleep, if this is at all possible.

*As I reflected on what I wrote in this article, I'm realizing that I've been suicidal in recent times myself (prior to the last blog post). For people my age, this doesn't really matter. I am 76 years old; I've already lived my life. Many people who are well into their 80s are senile, and have terrible health to the point where its not worth it. I'd like to point out that for people who are more than just a little bit elderly, like me, suicide doesn't matter as much. Such people don't have as many quality years to look forward to.

*If you read the previous blog post, I obviously just mean this on a general basis. I probably have a really sweet deal to look forward to!

Kids - can I steal your youth?

2011-12-25T21:53:00.000-08:00

Black magic

Parents: How about an old kid you would never be jealous of?

I've got a once in a lifetime opportunity on my plate right now. I recently made friends with the local witchdoctor, and I've told him about how I hate being an old man who doesn't have many years left. At first I didn't really believe in magic or the occult in any way. But some of his results were documented and I was able to seek the proof - for example, he has a 25 year old male client who requested that breasts naturally grow, rather than seek a surgeon for implants. I met up with him to verify to myself that magic is real, and they grew over time! No hormones or implants; that's his only woman feature, and I felt them myself.

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I need to keep this witchdoctor under the radar upon his request, he said that if I broke this rule I'd dream that I was a fly every single night for the rest of my life. So, I won't give out any of his personal information.

In exchange for allowing me to reverse the aging process by 20 years, 5 random babies would grow up to have progeria, which is a premature aging disease where kids age 7 times faster than normal.

The selfish ways have allowed me to have a more interesting life. I haven't experienced much happiness in a long time, only joy (joy is good, so the class is half full.) If I take up this offer, I can experience true happiness once again. I may feel quite guilty when I find out who these kids a few years from now - that is the rarest disease in the world!

Patriot Michael Savage brings awareness to anti-white hate crime

2011-12-11T19:17:00.000-08:00

This guy (Michael Savage) does not fit the stereotype of an educated urban coastal resident. He grew up in New York, received a PhD from University of California, Berkeley, he is a resident of San Francisco, and he's a far right Republican who has his own radio show (at least in today's standards.) When he reported on this vile crime about a white couple captured by blacks in TN, I cried in part because of what happened and also because my son Dobbler was killed for being a human-dog hybrid (which the media also decided to ignore.)

May these colored savages, along with the man who killed my son, be forced to eat Satan's shit for eternity while receiving endless whiplashes and hangings from Satan's cohorts.

In loving memory of my deceased son, Dobbler.

Rest in peace, Dobbler. I miss you deeply.

Gambling with my children's lives

2011-11-27T17:29:00.001-08:00

As you probably know, I'm an aging doctor who cannot retire. I constantly struggle to make ends meet and lately, I am especially tired of it. This is probably in part because of getting old, and the emotional toll of dealing with this for so many years.

I'll give life another try and if that fails, I will have the same fate as most of my patients do. I'm well into my 70's, so in the big scheme of things its not a huge deal either way. But I want things to work out, and I'd like to continue living for some years yet if I can be happy and successful.

What I have in mind is very unconventional, as well as unethical. I'm not quite sure what I'll be doing yet, but I've got my inspiration figured out. There will be an unforgettable art project which will involve my kids, and I'm hoping to gain money as well as respect from it as well. I will tie medicine into it in some way or another. No one would ever want to take care of my kids once I'm gone (due to their condition), so its fine for me to gamble with their lives.

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No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is how it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It's life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.

Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

Southerners: Don't touch armadillos

2011-11-26T15:25:00.001-08:00

Look at that armadillos feet. It has sores. Its got infections which lead to nerve damage. This armadillo has leprosy. Not only that, it is transferable to human beings.

I know they're a cute looking creature but don't fondle them.

So far, humans getting leprosy from armadillos is limited to southeastern and south central states. So if you're ever touring the good old south... don't shake hands with a hillbilly, he really might have some bad cudies like leprosy. And if you are a southerner.... let this blog post be a wake up call. In the future these creatures may migrate to other regions, so let this be a warning for you.

I must now get my lubriderm out and fantasize about playboy models getting leprosy because that would be so kinky. If I was on my death bed, I'd fuck a former playmate turned leper. I'm not religious but if there was a God, there would be hundreds of leper playmates behind the pearly gates...

Hugh Hefner should spread that disease around his mansion and threaten to make them homeless if they even think about seeking treatment...

Consolidating former blogs

2011-11-21T09:45:00.000-08:00

When I first started blogging nearly two years ago, I had sort of a misunderstanding. Every time I wanted to blog about a topic, I would start a new blog for that when in fact all I needed to do was add another post. I deleted blogs which only served the purpose of one single post and I added those posts onto this blog, the one that truly counts so that I don't have empty blogs. The following posts are among the earliest ones I've written. Click on a header to view an old post.

My Professional Life

FAQ

Dinner is served

This is a very important update to the financial crisis I've been going through lately due to the poor economy. Recently, I conjured a scheme to collect a lot of delicious food for me and my inter-species family to eat. Before I go on about that, I want you to look at the picture above. This is someone drowning in quicksand. How did I take advantage of this substance? Read on.

We own two residences - One of them is in Washington state, our other home is in Nevada. Politically, those two states greatly differ on something. Nevada is a Castle Law state, meaning if someone trespasses onto your private property, you may use deadly force to to defend it. I decided to set up a booby trap in case there were any intruders, which of course I was hoping for because we crave fresh meat. I consider it very moral to eat any kind of creature that passes away, including humans, rather than bury them or burn them. There is obviously some diseases that make a person or animals meat worthless, but I encourage people to make other use of the body such as making furniture or sculptures out of them.

Anyhow, I set up a booby trap inside our Nevada home which I used very large quantities of quicksand. I then made it a mission to provoke people around town, being very careful about not getting hurt in the process. I wore a bullet proof vest and I mainly stayed inside of a rented car the whole time. I managed to attract a large group of angry mobsters who's intent was to hurt us or burglarize our home. I used security cameras and other equipment to see how many of them there were, where they were, what weapons they had, etc. I will only reveal basic details of this plan of mine to protect my privacy. My mouth was practically watering as all of them finally reached the hidden quicksand, and they drowned. It filled my heart with joy as these angry, hateful people were dying. I used the right words and gestures to provoke these lowlifes on the streets, and finally they provided us with a lot of meat to last us many weeks.

I did not even bother cooking them. I just skinned them and started putting the meat on our plates right away. I am especially elegant when it comes to meals, I am not unskilled, crude, or sloppy. My body has been accustomed to to uncooked meat for some time now, and I had a wonderful meal with my family. We had some classical music playing in the background like Beethoven, as well as some modern artists like Boards of Canada. I was dressed in a Tuxedo and I combined Cabernet, Snake's blood, as well as blood from the intruders to produce a delicious tasting wine. Each of us had a side of their mashed brains which was topped with herbs and spices from God-knows-What, but it splendid.

Not only did this benefit our good tastes in food, I now have a larger collection of bones than before. I intend on making a museum of some sort out of this.

I choose not to take pictures of us for the internet because of TMZ and other horrible groups. My kids usually walk around with bags over their heads to avoid exposure to the media.

Hitler's body should be put in The Holocaust Museum

2011-06-17T23:14:00.000-07:00

He's the man who started the whole thing. It would only make sense.

If only his body wasn't so decomposed now. A wax Hitler should sit in a high throne of every holocaust museum, with a big grin on his face. We all knew that Hitler had an fun and fantastic life ruining the lives of other people.

This should be accomplished. Artists should start working on creating wax Hitler's right now. History needs to be remembered and told accurately. Hitler had a cruel nature. That's just how it is.

Also, what kind of name for a museum is "Museum of Tolerance."

Is America ready for a black president?

2011-05-30T12:36:00.001-07:00

I really don't think so. I am a part time resident of a nursing home and some of the people here with alzheimer's learn all of the time that we now have a black president. This is sometimes followed by extreme emotional reactions, and I've even seen a few of them vomit because of this.

I have a long time friend named Gertrude with alzheimer's disease who even had a heart attack and died when she learned for the 50th time that we have a black president!

If you ask me, I think Obama should be impeached because he's black. I am not "anti-black", but rather, I think his existence as president causes more emotional distress than it does gratitude, overall. The republican party might be a dying breed and white people will be the minority in less than 30 years, but there are still many people in this country who have an ax to grind with the black and I respect their viewpoints. As I've said before, I had a niece with cerebral palsy who liked white nationalist and she even had a big crush on David Duke and often times wrote love letters to him (she never got any responses).

Impeach Obama!

He would kill all white senior citizens if he could!

Even his own mother!

Probably not his mom but I thought it made a nice touch.

Osama bin Laden is dead. Who cares?

2011-05-14T12:47:00.000-07:00

Osama Bin Laden is dead.

He's burning in hell as we speak.

So what??

That guy was one psychopath who didn't care about how many people he would hurt, what impact he left on millions of people and families worldwide, in the name of "religion" and personal agendas which he can't logically back up.
He's been living such a quiet life 5 years or so before he died. I don't give a damn that he's dead. Its not going to change anything. Its a news item people will be talking about for a long time yet. The extra news watched will be extra money for advertisers, and it will bring smiles to Republican faces for years to come. That's about the only good it brings. Not that its bad in any way. After all, this Muslim extremist and (supposed) mastermind of 9/11 is dead, and we can all make jokes about it as much as we want. He's probably being forced to do a bunch of sexual bondage with Satan or anyone else in hell who he'd probably rather not have any kind of sex with. I'm sure he deserves anything bad which might yet come his way (whether its in hell, his followers, maybe even his sympathizers.) In the big scheme of things, this is something thats not important. Poor, struggling families like mine continue to suffer unnoticed, right here in America (supposed "land of opportunity"). The oil spill in the gulf hasn't been talked about much in a long time. Millions of Americans continue to be unemployed, or underemployed (as I continue to be due to a lack of clients and my bad reputation.)

Rather than focus on people who no longer pose a threat, why not pay more attention to celebrities who won't be living for much longer?

Here are some really old celebrities who have entertained us for decades or some odd years, and they don't have all that much time left because of their age or their lifestyle.

Clint Eastwood
Amy Winehouse (this lady really likes her drugs)
Robert De Niro (he's got a little more time left I think)
Lindsay Lohan
Justin Bieber (he's got so many haters, he might not live to be 21)
Eric Clapton (he's getting be an overly seasoned musician)
Donald Trump (he might get assassinated and he's old now)

...many many more that I can't think of right now.

I am not a celebrity, but I'm a doctor who's reputation has gotten so low that I don't make that much more than a fast food worker. I've even lowered rates a tremendous amount just so that its possible for me to have some clients. Even then, I wonder if its out of pity. (I'm viewed by the general public as a scum bag, but I'm not.) Don't take my word for it that I'm a decent person. Get to know me by reading some more of my blog posts and decide for yourself. I've got strong moral fabric and if you disagree with me, I'm open to debating you.

Political Incorrectness for the soul

2011-04-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

My niece had cerebral palsy and she died of it months ago. I was the one responsible for fixing up her cadaver since I need the money to support my family and myself.

I get tired of me and my family struggling and not always having a place to sleep at night. In some of the roach ridden, flea bag motels we don't even complain when bugs crawl into our mouths at night because that's a source of food. We have gotten used to it.

The economy is so bad that people are willing to kill themselves without assistance. This is dangerous, people! You could wind up with brain damage for the rest of your life if you don't know what you're doing. You need a professional like me to help you out. I say this out of compassion too, not just because I want to support my family.

Political Incorrectness for the soul

I had to rant because I don't have many people to complain to. We're down to business now. I get tired of all the censorshit out there. People getting arrested, flogged, banned from the world all because they said something you don't like. My niece had cerebral palsy, and she was into that whole white power scene. People would sometimes bully on here for this reason. Why can't a poor girl wear a David Duke T-shirt without becoming a victim?

Someone, something, made an article giving reviews of some really cool politically incorrect crap. Its good for the soul. I could almost feel myself writing this article as I was reading it. Shannon (my niece) must be rolling around in her grave in peace because of this. God bless her dead body, and her dead soul. (I don't believe in God really, last time I checked.) People with disabilities- Rejoice!

Check it out.

Update This blog has been deleted from Hub Pages because HP staff didn't like it.

I don't care really, I could put it onto here if I felt like it.

Why must celebrities stalk me?

2011-01-16T14:20:00.000-08:00

Gang stalking is illegal and I want it out of my life. I'm not flattered that famous people treat me this way.

I used to take Clozapine to help control disorganized thinking and behavior and other psychotic symptoms. We've all got problems please don't judge me. I have dabbled in other anti-psychotic medications before but Clozapine is the main one I've taken.

I recently went off of that stuff, and I suddenly see people like Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, and Charles Manson following me around in public.

I even went into a church, a place I never go since I hate god. More celebrities follow me into that place to spy on me, give me glaring looks of disapproval. I've shouted "What the hell do you guys want!?" the priest even asked me if I was OK. I can hardly leave my house without being stalked.

I don't understand why celebrities have time to stalk people, just because I went off of medications or whatever the problem is. The drug companies didn't lose any money all because 1 person went off. I wonder how they handle other people who go off?! I am plenty poor, and these rich bastards who have everything have the nerve to stalk me.

I've been finding some peace in other areas of my life, but this just spooks me out. I am 76 years old now, I hope I'm not developing dementia. Memory doesn't seem to be a problem. I wish that I had enough money to afford a doctor so I could get tested. I am a doctor, and I don't have enough clients to receive much pay. Please be my client, I'm an all purpose doctor. Besides medicine, I'll read you bedtime stories, I'll be a prostitute for you, anything you want babe. Me and my lovely mixed species family get hungry a lot and we end up having to scavenge. We're a classical example of poverty in america.

Death 2 Jesus Christ

2010-09-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

Die Jesus Die

I previously did not believe in god. However, I found a manual online for selling your soul to Satan. I went through with it, not even believing in it. There has been a big supernatural presence in my life recently. I often times see animals with red eyes at night, and often times when I go for walks out side the weather suddenly changes for the better.

Deicide was one of the best death metal bands which was ideal for Satanic listeners who liked that kind of music. Unfortunately their musical quality dwindled sharply at the turn of the century.

Jesus Christ and his followers have been stalking me, unfortunately. It really shows which side of spirituality is evil! I am a man who supposedly has free will, yet jesus fucking christ has the nerve to stalk me like the jealous little man that he is.

He has yet to come to Earth in physical form, but if I'm around and I know which woman is carrying his child, I personally will find her and treat her womb like meat at a slaughterhouse. I'm in my mid 70s so its not likely but I want to be a part of bringing down Jesus Christ and his lousy followers. She can rot in the same grave as Sharon Tate.

Because of the fact that I now believe in the pathetic Judeo-Christian "God" as well as Satan (MY God and his followers are certainly growing), I've started to believe that everything happens for a reason. Not that people necessarily get what they deserve, but there is most likely a reason for everything. I have the rest of my life to explore this dark form of spirituality which I've adopted.

Why would a beautiful model change their sex?

2010-08-28T20:20:00.001-07:00

Sex changes

Two former female models who got sex changes. Thomas Beatie is known as the man who got pregnant. There is also porn star star Buck Angel who was also born female. Both of these 'men' were born female but took hormones to look like men. Despite my own interesting (yet horrifying) existence, even I think that this is bizarre. It almost makes my lifestyle look normal.

Who is the next model to get this done? If it was Heidi Klum she would become what she hates the most... a white man! Then Seal would have to decide whether its worth staying married to her.

In speaking of sex changes, how about a species change. Do you think Jon Benet Ramsey is dead? Think again. I have a german sheapard / pitbull mix who used to be Jon Benet Ramsey.

That was then, this is now

So, how about those before and after photos of these lovely broads who became studs?

Tracy Beatie

Thomas Beatie

Thomas Beatie is kind of soft looking, so hormone therapy obviously isn't perfect.

Buck Angel: Before and After

Buck Angel's transition was more remarkable than Thomas. I've heard he can bench press around 400pounds. Now, how about a book that illustrates tranny portraits if that's what you're into:

Cool science experiment

2010-08-15T17:00:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm building an electric chair which any infant will fit right into. Since I hate babies so much I'll be taking on the role of a 'baby executioner.' I'll post a photo once I'm done.

I look forward to finding loopholes in the legal system which will entitle me to execute babies. Its a good thing I have an international passport so I can possibly go to countries where it is legal. In the USA it might be far too tricky - there's certain things about the law which I need to examine.

Explore the streets

2010-07-08T19:20:00.000-07:00

This blog is not for sensitive people. I did not break any laws.

It truly pays to do things you normally wouldn't. Today I decided to take a walk through a rough neighborhood. Interestingly, I found a dead baby sitting right in front of someone's house. I checked it's pulse, no sign of life. (The only good baby is a dead one, they suck) I'm glad that it was still fresh. I decided to take it home with me and figure out what to do with it.

On my way back I noticed something near a trash can, moving. I walked up to it and it looked like insect warfare. A group of cockroaches were gang raping a praying mantis for stepping on their turf. It was one of the most beautiful sights I've witnessed in a long time.

Those of you who have read my blogs before know that I am a cannibal. I decided I was going to stick it in the blender and make a tasty malt. I made sure to stick in in feet first so I could see the expression on its face. It screamed louder than 5 babies on an airplane at once. I threw in some ice and it was the best malt I've ever tasted.

I'm still sad about the recent death of my youngest son, Dobbler. Here in the colorblind paradise of Seattle, he was murdered for being inter-species. I wish my wife Lisa could understand, but she just ate her dog food as she normally would that night. I'm still looking for the man who did it, the police would not release his name to me.

According to Jack

My favorite confessions from patients

I'm bored and depressed, what should I do?

Depression FAQ

Happy belated birthday to this blog

'Extreme' metal: Pretty lame

Shocking body modifications

Occupy Yahoo Answers

Punked

The occult: Dark and mysterious?

Suicide: Dark and mysterious?

How much money would you need to be paid to kill an innocent person?

How much money would make you evil?

How to overcome the fear of death

How to overcome the fear of death

Recommendations for overcoming the fear of death

Its not worth worrying about death until you need to.

Be an optimist.

Tips

Warnings

How to deal with depression without seeking professional help

Cope with depression without seeking medical help

Steps

Tips

Warning signs of suicide

Warning signs of suicide

Someone you know might be severely depressed without you knowing this.

Kids - can I steal your youth?

Black magic

Parents: How about an old kid you would never be jealous of?

Patriot Michael Savage brings awareness to anti-white hate crime

In loving memory of my deceased son, Dobbler.

Rest in peace, Dobbler. I miss you deeply.

Gambling with my children's lives

Southerners: Don't touch armadillos

Consolidating former blogs

My Professional Life

FAQ

Dinner is served

Hitler's body should be put in The Holocaust Museum

Is America ready for a black president?

Impeach Obama!

He would kill all white senior citizens if he could!

Even his own mother!

Osama bin Laden is dead. Who cares?

Osama Bin Laden is dead.

He's burning in hell as we speak.

Rather than focus on people who no longer pose a threat, why not pay more attention to celebrities who won't be living for much longer?

Political Incorrectness for the soul

Political Incorrectness for the soul

Why must celebrities stalk me?

Gang stalking is illegal and I want it out of my life. I'm not flattered that famous people treat me this way.

Death 2 Jesus Christ

Die Jesus Die

Why would a beautiful model change their sex?

Sex changes

That was then, this is now

Cool science experiment

Explore the streets