Ritesh's

Very Cute Baby!!! Wallpaper

2010-12-21T19:48:00.000-08:00

Very Cute !!!
isn’t it?

Charge your Mobile battery in 1 minute using Visiting card

2010-12-21T19:45:00.001-08:00

Charge your Mobile battery in 1 minute using Visiting card

you Just need a mobile and any visiting card.

Look the battery is empty.

Now Remove the Battery look at the middle connector, now you have to disconnect this connector using visiting card.

Now put the visiting card’s corner on middle connector of mobile, keep holding the card carefully, middle connecter should not be in connected with battery, and other 2 connector must be in connected with battery.

Now “switch on” the mobile, Don’t be scare, it will display “Insert SIM Card”, Now remove the visiting card.

See The Magic, Your battery is full…… Enjoy……and give surprise to your friends.
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This trick is just for fun……. its not any magic, its basic science.
This trick is not working on most off new Nokia models.
this is working best on Nokia 3100, 3120, 1108, 1100, 1112, 1600 etc…
Just do it your self……. and give the comment if you have any problem.
Disclaimer: i don’t provide any garranty for damage you mobile or any instrument for using this tips.

Guitar Instruments

2010-12-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

Guitar Instruments

Instrumentals |

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CD - 1
Aye Mere Humsafar
Chookar Mere Man Ko
Gum Hai Kissi Ke
Kya Khoob Lagti Ho
Main Shayar to Nahin
Mere Dil Main
Mere Rang Main
O Mere Dil Ke Chain
Saagar Kinare
Tum Mujhe Yun
Yeh Jo Mohabbat

CD - 2
Chahoonga Main Tujhe
Choo Lene Do
Ek Ladki Bheegi
Kisi Ki Muskurahaton Pe
Main Pal do Pal
Ramaiya Vasta Vaiya
Sar jo Tera Chakraye
Yeh Jeevan Hai
Yeh Raat Bheegi

Old Is Gold
Dil Kya Kare - Julie
Aaja Re - Noorie
Bhool Gaya Sab Kuch - Julie
Chaudhvin Ka Chand Ho - Chaudhavin Ka Chand
Hothon Se Chhulon Tum - Prem Geet
Kabhi Kabhi Mere Dil Mein - Kabhi Kabhi
Mere Dil Mein Aaj Kya Hai - Daag
O Mere Dil Ke Chain - Mere Jeevan Saathi
Tere Mere Milan Ki - Abhimaan
Tum Aa Gaye Ho - Aandhi
Zindagi Bhar Nahin Bhulegi - Barsaat Ki Raat

Kishore Kumar- Classic

2010-12-15T19:35:00.000-08:00

Kishore Kumar- Classic Instrumental

Collection, Instrumentals |

Album Information
Album: Classic Karaoke
Music: Various
Singer: Kishore Kumar

CD 1

1. Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi - Ek Ladki Bheegi Bhaagi Si
2. Rangoli - Chhoti Si Yeh Duniya
3. Teen Deviyan - Khwab Ho Tum Ya
4. Bhoot Bangla - Jaago Sonewalon
5. Shriman Fantoosh - Yeh Dard Bhara Afsana
6. Kati Patang - Ye Jo Mohabbat Hai
7. Andaz - Zindagi Ek Safar Hai Suhana
8. Mili - Badi Suni Suni Hai
9. Andha Kanoon - Rote Rote Hasna Siko
10. Jhumroo - Main Hoon Jhum Jhum
11. Kunwara Baap - Aa Ri Aaya Nindiya Tu

CD 2
1. Daag - Mere Dil Mein Aaj Kya Hai
2. Julie - Dil Kya Kare Jab
3. Jawani Deewani - Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani
4. Mere Jeevan Saathi - Chala Jata Hoon
5. Padosan - Kehna Hai Kehna Hai
6. Kabhi Andhera Kabhi Ujaala - Surma Mera Nirala
7. Saccha Jhootha - Meri Pyari Beheniya
8. Mere Jeevan Saathi - O Mere Dil Ke Chain
9. Don - Khaike Paan Banaraswala
10. Sharmilee - Khilte Hain Gul Yahan
11. Zehreela Insaan - O Hansini Meri Hansini

CD 3
1. Chalte Chalte - Chalte Chalte Mere Yeh Geet
2. Yaarana - Chhukar Mere Man Ko
3. Muqaddar Ka Sikandar - O Saathi Re Tere Bina Bhi
4. Kati Patang - Pyar Deewana Hota Hai
5. Prem Nagar - Yeh Lal Rang Kab Mujhe
6. Amar Prem - Chingari Koi Bhadke
7. Door Gagan Ki Chhaon Mein - Koi Lauta De Mere
8. Safar - Zindagi Ka Safar
9. Prem Pujari - Phoolon Ke Rang Se
10. Buddha Mil Gaya - Raat Kali Ek Khwab Mein
11. Amar Prem - Yeh Kya Hua Kaise Hua

CD 4
1. Kudrat - Hume Tumse Pyar Kitna
2. Kora Kagaz - Mera Jeevan Kora Kagaz
3. Anamika - Meri Bheegi Bheegi Si
4. Blackmail - Pal Pal Dil Ke Paas
5. Harjaee - Kabhi Palkon Pe
6. Jheel Ke Us Paar - Kya Nazare
7. Johny Mera Naam - Pal Bhar Ke Liye Koi Humen
8. Ghar - Phir Wohi Raat Hai
9. Hare Rama Hare Krishna - Phoolon Ka Taron Ka
10. Mehbooba - Mere Naina Sawan Bhado
11. Parichay - Musafir Hoon Yaaron

CD 5
1. Amar Prem - Yeh Kya Hua Kaise Hua
2. Mere Jeevan Saathi - Deewana Leke Aaya Hai
3. Mere Apne - Koi Hota Jisko Apna
4. Fantoosh - Dukhi Man Mere Sun
5. Anurodh - Aap Ke Anurodh Pe
6. Namak Haram - Main Shayar Badnam
7. Imtihaan - Ruk Jaana Nahin Tu Kahin
8. Pavitra Paapi - Teri Duniya Se Hoke
9. Piya Ka Ghar - Yeh Jeevan Hai
10. Kati Patang - Yeh Shaam Mastani
11. Aap Ki Kasam - Zindagi Ka Safar Mein

Tags: kishore kumar

Hindi Shayari Collection (sad)

2010-12-05T20:07:00.001-08:00

Kash meri zindgi me koi sapna sach hota,kash meri zindgi me koi apna hota,
Kash meri zindgi me yaaro,ye kash hi na hota.

Wadain karte hai,kasme khate hai,phir bhi na jane kyu log sath chhod jate hai,
Hame to taklif hoti hai fool todne me bhi,na jane log dil kaise tod jate hai.

Rulane se pehle ek bar hasaya to hota,kasoor kya hai is dil ka bataya to hota,
mili saza us khata ki jo na ki kabhi hamne,kash ye dil kahi lagaya hi na hota.

Doston ki mohabbat ne,aaj hamari ankhen bhar di,
Kabhi jo kasam khayi thi,aaj wohi kasam tod di.

Bhari mehfil mein tanha mujhe rehna sikha diya,tere pyaar ne duniya ko jhooth kahna sikha diya,
kisi dard ya khushi ka ehsaas nahin hai ab to,sab kuch zindagi ne chup-chap sahna sikha diya.

Samandar Ki Lehre Hi,Reet Ki Lakiro Ko Mitta Deti Hai,
Hum Nahi Kehte Par Duniya Kehti Hai,Hota Hai Jo Apna Preet,
Usi Ki Yaad Rula Deti Hai.

Aanken band kar bhi, hum tera deedar karte hain,
Aye sanam, hum to sirf tum se pyar karte hain,
Lakh chaah kar bhi main tujhe bhula nahi sakta,
Saans rahte, teri tasvir aankhon se hataa nahi sakta,
Aakhiri pal tak o bewafaa, tujehe yaad karta hoon,
Teri yaadon ko seene mein basaa kar chalta hoon.

Aaj phir dil hai kuchh udaas-udaas,jaane kyun ek mayusi si chhayi hai,
Aaj fir palkon pe pani hai,bheer mein hoon phir kyun ye tanhai hai.

Hontho ki zuban ye ansoo kehete hai,
Jo chup rete hai fir bhi behete hai,
Aur in aasuon ki kismat to dekhiye,
Ye unke liye behte hain jo in ankhon mein rehte hain

Guzaarish 2010 Hindi Movie Watch Online

2010-12-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

Avatar 2009 Hindi Dubbed Movie Watch Online Full Movie

2010-12-03T20:07:00.000-08:00

Know bombay- interesting

2010-12-02T20:14:00.001-08:00

Do you know ?
Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
There is no darkness in Andheri.
Lalbagh is neither red nor a garden.
No king ever stayed at Kings Circle .
Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.

Nor is there any princess at Princess Street .
Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.
Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar*Tram Terminus (Dadar T.T.).
Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.
Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street.
There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.
Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
Null bazaar does not sell taps
You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar.
Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.
Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi,
Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi,
Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi
But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor
Bazaar!!!

AMCHI MUMBAI
A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible.
Where lovers first love and then marry, Where there is place for every Tom, Dick and Harry
Where telephone bills make a person ill, Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.
Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen, Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,
Where college canteens are full and classes empty, Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,
Where a cycle reaches faster than a car, Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,
Where sky scrapers overlook the slum, Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,
Where people first act and then think, Where there is more water in the pen than ink,
Where the roads see-saw in monsoon, Where the beggars become rich soon,
Where the roads are levelled when the minister arrives,
Where college admission means hard cash, Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.
This is Mumbai my dear, But don’t fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

THINGS TO PROVE YOU’RE A BOMBAYITE.
1. You say “town �? and expect everyone to know that*this means south of Churchgate.
2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called ‘Bambaiya Hindi’, which only Bombayites can understand.*
3. Your door has more than three locks.
4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
7. You call an 8′ x 10′ clustered room a Hall.
8. You’re paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it’s a “steal.�?
9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Â Road, Altamount Road .
11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing*besides cricket which you follow passionately.
12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the �? Bombay Times�? supplement.
13. You take fashion seriously. You’re suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
15. You compare Bombay to New York ’s Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it �?romantic’.
22. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.

SMS Collection

2010-12-02T20:02:00.001-08:00

Dil ki baat dil main mat rakhna
jo pasand aaye I love You keh dena
agar wo gusa kare to darna mat
sar jhukana aur kehna Meri Behna
_____________________________________
The lovely love Theorem – To Love some 1 is madness,2b loved by someone is a Gift,loving some1 who loves u is a duty,but being loved by some1 whom u luv is LIFE.
_____________________________________
Another Day,Another Way,Another Pray,Another Hope,Another Tear,Another Fear,Another Year,Another Smile,Another Mile,Another Few,But Never Ever Another U….
_____________________________________
Ager dum hai tu is sawal ka jawab yes or no me deke batao … …. … kya aapko pagalpan ke dure padhne band ho gaye hai?
_____________________________________
Jab hum ne unse pooncha, Sapnna kya hota hai to unhone kaha, Bandh aankhon mein jo apna hota hain khuli aankhon mein wohi sapna hota hain.
_____________________________________
Roshni deker doob jana koi suraj se seekhey..

Dil deker dard lena ki humse seekhey..

kuch na deker Dil lena koi unse seekhey..

Men vs. Women (humor)

2010-12-02T19:43:00.001-08:00

What is the difference between men and women?

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

*******

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

*******

3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

*******

4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

*******

5. There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman- before and after marriage.

*******

6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

*******

7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

*******

8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

*******

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

*******

10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.

Funny Hindi Kavita

2010-12-02T19:35:00.001-08:00

*****************

Na kar tu apne aap ko itna busy

ke choot jae dosto ke saath masty

Aur ho jaye teri zindagi itni SASTI

Ki na rahe duniya main teri koi HASTI

***************

Agar hoti meri koi Hasti,

To basa lete main apni hi posh se ek basti,

Hoti ek jheel aur usme ek Kasti,

Ladkiyan Rangeen and full with Masti,

Jam kar hota dance and Daru milti sasti,

Khelte jab bhi hota man,

Jindgi wait main nahi attakti,

Sorry sir, no sir ki batain nahi khatakti,

GIRLS FACTS (Know girls nature)

2010-12-01T09:58:00.001-08:00

GIRL FACTS

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers “i’m fine” after a
few
seconds,
She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL sms’s u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once.

When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it.

When a GIRL says that she can’t live
without you,
She has made up her mind that you are
her future.

When a GIRL says “i miss you”,
No one in this world can miss you more
than that
Believe it its a Fact…

What is the Heights of…..

2010-12-01T09:57:00.001-08:00

1. What is height of Fashion?

Dhoti with a zip

2. What is height of Secrecy?

Offering blank visiting cards .

3. What is height of Activelaziness?

Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

4. What is height of Laziness?

Adopting a child.

5. What is height of Craziness?

Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

6. What is height of Forgetfulness?

Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her

last.

7. What is height of Stupidity?

A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

8. What is height of Honesty?

A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

9. What is height of Suicide?

A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

10. What is height of De-hydration?

A cow giving milk powder

What happens if 1 rupee = 45 dollars !

2010-12-01T09:53:00.001-08:00

Scene 1

Venue : Microsoft Corporation, New York , US Some s/w

engineers are seeing some photographs.

s/w engg 1 : What’s that?

s/w engg 2 : Bob’s photographs from India .

s/w engg 1 : Wow. Let me see. Which is this place?

s/w engg 3 : (Sees the photo) This is Himayatnagar, Hyderabad

s/w engg 1 : Fundoo yaar! And what is this? He got Bajaj Pulsar also.

s/w engg 2 : Let me see (sees). This guy enjoys life maan…

s/w engg 3 : You know how much an Bajaj Pulsar costs?

Nearly 60K…..

Say it in dollars… (60000*45 = 27,00,000 dollars)

s/w engg 2: Oops. We can’t dream of such a thing here.

s/w engg 1 : Let’s go to India & try for a job.

[Everybody excited.]

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——-

SCENE 2

Venue: Sun Microsystems, SanFrancisco , California, US

s/w engg 1: I’m with you man. My Visa is expected anytime. Soon I will

fly to India

s/w engg 2: Ohhh…. When is the party?

s/w engg 1: When I get it on hand.

s/w engg 2: Where will you be working?

s/w engg 1 : I’ll be working in Amberpet

s/w engg 2 : Oh! Amberpet. Great yaar. where it is…

s/w engg 1 : It is in Hyd.

s/w engg 3 : Fundoo place yaar. Nice climate Not like California.

You’ll love the weather yaar. One of my friends is in Bhongir…

He says it’s the ultimate place to live in. Cool maan.

s/w engg 2 : Who is the client yaar?

s/w engg 1: You know Municipal Corporation of Hyderabad ?

s/w engg 3 : Yeah. MCH. One of my friends is there in

the Road Cleaning Division. Most challenging job yaar. People are

working in the cutting edge of technology there.

s/w engg 1 : I’ll be writing software for the accounts department of

the GCU.

s/w engg 2: GCU? what it means…?

s/w engg 1 : that is Garbage Collecting Unit.

s/w engg 3 : : Great yaar. That’s what I like about

that country. You can get a job which requires all your skill. Not like

here. See I’m writing software for the space shuttle remote control.

I hate this.

s/w engg 1 : Don’t worry guys. I’ll give you my

Hotmail id. You can send your resume to me and I’ll forward it to the HRD.

[Everybody takes down his Hotmail id.]

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——-

SCENE 3

Venue: IBM, New York, US

(Conversation between a Male s/w engg. and Female s/w engg.)

Male : Hi!

Female: Hi. You know. I’m planning to settle in India soon.

Male : What??

Female : Yeah. My marriage will be here in America only. He is doing

his Ph.D in J.N.T.U and he’s coming here for a month. His study

will be over in 2 months. He’s already got a job in MSCB. We planned to

settle in Hyd itself… I’m also planning to work there. Let’s see…

Male: Good luck… dont forget us & US…

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——-

SCENE 4

Venue: Intel Corp. US

s/w engg 1: Great news guys. Our George has got

admission in the IGNOU with scholarship for B.A History. A

great new field yaar…

All are excited…

George : Got my Visa yesterday. It’s all finalized now.

s/w engg 2 : Congrats yaar. So you are out of this country.

s/w engg 1 : B.A in Histroy…ohh. ..man, enjoy your life there!!

s/w engg 2 :Got full aid, eh?

George : Yeah. Got the UGC scholarship That will be 1200 Rupees / year.

s/w engg 1 : Great. Enjoy.

s/w engg 2 : (Thinking loud): 1200 Indian Rupees…!

that means 1200 * 45 = 54000 Dollars… with that amount I can buy an

three bed-room flat & a Mercedes here…!!!

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -

SCENE 5

A foreigner working in Hyderabad as Software Engg gets

a call from his Home ..

Father : What are you doing son ?

S/w Eng : Having breakfast ?

Father : what are you eating ?

S/w Eng: Coconut Sauce and Rice Bread i.e.,(Idli and Chutney)

Funny Jokes and Quots

2010-12-01T09:47:00.000-08:00

Q: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything.”
********
Today a phone without wire is fashion.
One day will come when human without brain will be a fashion.
On that day, my friend, u will Rock..

********
bhikari-sahab ek rupiya de do.
Sahab-tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar bhikh mangte.
Bhikari-abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya?
********
Baithe tere khayalo mai,
kore kagazpe likha tera nam.
Tasvir B bana dali or likha us par yah paigam.
Zinda ya murda,pakdne waleko
Rs.5000 inam
********
“Laziness is our biggest enemy” -Jawaharlal Nehru.
“We should learn to love our enemies”- Mahathma Gandhi.
Which one to follow?… Great confusion.
********
“CELLO ”

The pen of india.
“LUX”

The soap of india.
“Amul”

The taste of india.
“I”

The best in india.
“You”

Time waste of india…
********
Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
********
Rules for board exam:
har sawal se dat kar ladna,
fekne me kami mat karna,
mouka mila to peche be dekhna,
or 1 bat yaad rakhna aagawala ka paper apna samajhna.
********
Whats the height of hope???….
A 99 year old lady going for airtel ka naya lifetime scheme…!!

WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……

2010-12-01T09:41:00.000-08:00

WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……

WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……

FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK : ( and you would find out the same .. !!!! )

1 ) Tech Support : “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.�?

Customer : “Ok.�?

Tech Support : “Did you get a pop-up menu?�?

Customer : “No.�?

Tech Support : “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?�?

Customer : “No.�?

Tech Support : “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?�?

Customer : “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.�?

—————————————-

2) Customer : “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.�?

Tech Support : “Did you install the update?�?

Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?�?

————————————————–

3) Customer : “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.�?

Tech Support : “Tell me what you’ve done.�?

Customer : “I typed ‘A: SETUP’.�?

Tech Support : “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.�?

Customer : “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.�?

Tech Support : “Insert the MS Word setup disk.�?

Customer : “What?�?

Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?�?

Customer: “No…�?

————————————————–

4) Customer : “Do I need a computer to use your software?�?

Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

————————————————–

5) Tech Support : “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the ‘OK’ button displayed?�?

Customer : “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?�?

Tech support : ##### ***

————————————————–

6) Tech Support : “What type of computer do you have?�?

Customer : “A white one.�?

Tech support : ******_____####

————————————————–

7) Tech Support : “What operating system are you running?�?

Customer : “Pentium.�?

Tech support : ////—–+++

————————————————–

Customer : “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.�?

Tech support : ??????

————————————————–

9) Customer : “I have Microsoft Exploder.�?

Tech Support : ?!%#$

————————————————–

10) Customer : “How do I print my voicemail?�?

Tech support : ??????

————————————————–

11) Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.�?

Tech Support : “What does it say?�?

Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.�?

Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?�?

Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.�?

Tech support : @@@@@

————————————————–

12) Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.�?

Customer: “Is that Eastern time?�?

————————————————–

13) Tech Support : “What does the screen say now?�?

Customer : “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.�?

Tech Support : “Well?�?

Customer : “How do I know when it’s ready?�?

Tech support : *** —- ++++

————————————————–

The best of the lot

14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What’s the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the

command.

Tech support::

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech support::(hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User : It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.

————————————————-

Height Of it all (Too Good)

15) Customer : I need a product identification number right now

Customer Care Officer : and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust : sure !!!!

CCO : could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

Great Funny Indian Ads

2010-12-01T09:28:00.000-08:00

Great Funny Indian Ads

Apple’s New Logo

2010-12-01T09:17:00.000-08:00

Apple’s New Logo
.

The perfect shape alwase

Beautiful Poem

2010-11-30T21:04:00.000-08:00

Mein Jab Bhi Akeli Hoti Hoon, Tum Chupkey Se Aa Jatey Ho

Or Jhaank Kay Meri Aankhon Mein Beetay Din Yaad Dilatey Ho
Mastana Hawa Kay Jhonkon Se Har Baar Woh Pardey Ka Hilna

Pardey Ko Pakarney Ki Dhunn Mein Do Ajnabi Haatoun Ka Milna
Aankhon Mein Dhunwa Cha Jana Sasoun Mein Sitarey Se Khilna

Rasty Mein Tumhara Mur Mur Kar Takna Wo Mujhe Jatey Jatey
Aur Mera Thitak Kar Ruk Jaana, Chilman Kay Kareb Aatey Aatey

Nazroun Ka Taras Kar Reh Jaana, Ek Aur Jhalak Paatey Paatey
Baaloun Ko Sukhaney Ki Khatir, Kothey Pe Woh Mera Aa Jaana

Aur Tum Ko Muqabil Patey Hi Kuch Sharmana, Kuch Bal Khaana
Humsayon Kay Dar Se Katrana, Ghar Walon Kay Dar Se Ghabrana

Ro Ro Kay Tumhein Khat Likhti Hoon, Aur Khud ParDh Kar Ro Lati Hoon
Halaat Kay Taptey Toufaan Mein Jazbaat Ki Kashti Khayti Hoon

Kaisey Ho, Kahaan Ho, Kuch Tou Kaho, Mein Tum Ko Sadayien Deyti Hoon
Mein Jab Bhi Akeli Hoti Hoon, Tum Chupkey Se Aa Jatey Ho

Aur Jhaank Kay Meri Aankhoun Mein Beetay Dinn Yaad Dilatey

–

Note:

I AM SHARING WHAT WAS SHARED WITH ME!

Toote hue khawab (Hindi Shayari)

2010-11-30T20:58:00.000-08:00

Toote howe khawabon mein haqiqat dhundta hoon,
Pathar ke dilon mein mohabbat dhundta hoon.
Naadan hoon mein ab tak yeh bhi nahin samjha,
Bejaan buton mein ibaadat dhundta hoon.
Mere jazbaaton ki keemat yahan kuch bhi nahin,
Beimaani ke baazaron mein sharafat dhundta hoon.
Is ajnabi dunia mein koi bhi apna nahin,
Gairon ki aankhon mein apni surat dhundta hoon.
Umeed ki thi pyar ki bas yehi bhool thi meri,
Girte hue ashkon mein apni hasrat dhundta hoon.

Dil ka connection

2010-11-30T20:55:00.000-08:00

Dil ka connection miladein,
Daddy Internet laga dein ,
Mujhe aaya mail dostoun ka,
Kab lagay Ga itna Bata dein

Homework pura hota nahi,
Raat ko mein sota nahi,
Jab mood ho parhai ka,
Homework koi hota nahi.

Net bhi hai kamaal cheez,
Bas aati ho agar chalani keys,
Waisay to bohot hai kaam is Kay,
Par chatting pe lagti nahi fees.

Aap kehte hain mein shor machaon Ga,
Try karo mein naraz na kar paon Ga,
Mein god promise karta Hun,
Net aap ke saunay ke baad lagaun Ga.

Saheli nahi meri,haan dost hi hotay hain,
Who saray ke saray school mein hi sotay hain,
Raat to guzarti hai net par typing kartay,
Subha bhi chat room mein hi hotay hain.

Ladkian bhi kamaal hoti hain,
Ghar pe apni misaal hoti hain ,
Saara kaam khatam karkay,
Das bajay saday naal hoti hain.

Ab to mujhe Internet lagadein,
Meri bhi mauj karadein ,
Mein bhi dhondta Hun cyber bahoo,
Aap bas nikah dot com karadein

Image Manipulation

2010-11-29T08:52:00.000-08:00

Image Manipulation

Find the fault in this picture.

Another Puzzle

2010-11-29T08:48:00.000-08:00

Another Puzzle

IT’S A 7 LETTER WORD.
IF WE REMOVE 1 LETTER FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.
IF WE REMOVE 2 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.
IF WE REMOVE 3 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.
IF WE REMOVE ALL THE LETTERS FROM IT, STILL IT REMAINS SAME.
WHATZ IT ?
If you are still wondering for the solution, send me a mail, or post a comment with your contacts and i will mail you the answer.

Interesting puzzle

2010-11-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

Interesting puzzle

A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened.

A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, “Twelve.�? The member replied, “six�? and was let in.

A second member came to the door and the doorman said, “Six.�? The member replied, “Three�? and was let in.

The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The doorman said,�?Ten�? and the man replied, “five.�? But he was not let in.

What should have he said?

Shaadi se pehle aur Shaadi ke baad

2010-11-27T21:32:00.000-08:00

Shaadi se pehle aur Shaadi ke baad

Shaadi ka pehla Saal
Abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
Khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
Khushiyaan kuchh yun umad rahin thi,
Ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi ..
Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana
Thoda sharmate huye humein neend se jagana,

Wo pyaar bhara hath hamare baalon mein phirana,
Muskurate huye kehna ki..
Darling chai to pi lo, Jaldi se ready ho jao, Aap ko office bhi hai jaana.
Gharwali bhagwan ka roop Le kar aayee thi,
Dil aur dimag par poori tarah chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete they to naam usee ka hota tha,
I pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha..
******

5 saal baad……..
Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana,
Table par rakh kar jor se chillana,
Aaj office jao to munna ko
School chodte hue jana…
Suno ek baar phir wohi awaaj aayi,
Kya baat hai abhi tak chhodi nahi charpayee,
Agar munna late ho gaya to dekh Lena,
Munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal Lena..
Na Jane gharwali kaisa roop Le kar aayi thi,
Dil aur dimaag par kaali ghata chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete hain to unhi ka khayal hota hai,
Ab har samay jehan mein ek hi sawal hota hai..
Kya kabhi who din laut ke aayenge,
Hum ek baar phir kunwaare Ho jaayenge…. …!

Shaadi se pahle aur shaadi ke baad in movie style:

Shaadi ke pehle – Agar Tum Na Hote
Shaadi ke baad – Agar Tum Na Hote

Shaadi ke pehle – Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad – Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle – Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad – Kuch Nahi Hota Hai

Shaadi ke pehle – Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad – Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle – Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad – Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle – Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad – Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle – Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad – Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle – Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad – Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle – Titanic
Shaadi ke baad – Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle – Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad – Barbadi Ka Kaaran

Shaadi ke pehle – Yes Boss
Shaadi ke baad – Yes Boss

Shaadi ke pehle – Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad – Chutki Ki Amma

Shaadi ke pehle – Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad – If you are lucky

Shaadi ke pehle – Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad – Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

Shaadi ke pehle – Hum Apke Hain
Shaadi he baad – Hum Apke Hai Koun?